So "I forgive but I do not forget" is just an illusion?

Listen, this saying "I forgive but I do not forget" is absolutely a contradiction and an illusion according to the Torah. Let me be very clear about this: Either you forgive or you don't forgive - it can't be both. The Baal Shem Tov teaches us something fundamental: the way you forgive others is how Hashem forgives you in Shamayim. If you're a fake forgiver, saying the words "I forgive you" with your mouth but keeping all that anger and hatred filed away in your heart to bring up later, then in Shamayim they'll treat you the same way. You can't lie to HaKadosh Baruch Hu and say "I forgive" when you really don't. When you say "I forgive but I don't forget," what you're really saying is "I didn't actually forgive you, and I'm keeping this in my file cabinet to use against you whenever I need it." That's not forgiveness at all - that's just waiting for the next opportunity to remind the person of what they did. It's like saying "I forgive you" and then 15 years later bringing it up again as if you have some brownie points to cash in. True forgiveness means you wipe it clean. When you genuinely forgive someone, it's like Parashat Bereshit - you're starting new. The Rambam teaches us that when you do proper teshuva, it's as if the sin never happened. The same applies to forgiveness between people. If you forgive someone, you don't keep reminding them about it. You don't hold it over their head. You let it go completely - out of your mind, out of your mouth, and out of your heart. Now, I'm not saying you forget in the sense that your memory is erased. Obviously you remember what happened. But you don't weaponize that memory. You don't use it as ammunition. The remembering is for your own protection if necessary, but not for prosecution. If someone hurt you badly, you might remember to keep appropriate boundaries, but you're not allowed to take revenge or hold a grudge. This is especially true when someone has genuinely apologized and is trying to do teshuva. If they've come to you crying, if they're genuinely sorry and have changed their behavior, then you must forgive them fully. No conditions. No "but remember when you..." That's Ratzon Hashem - that is the will of Hashem.