Accursed Is Their Anger - Parashat Vayechi

0:02After that, we see that Reuven, Reuven is the firstborn son, and he receives the first blessing. What can we learn from Reuven's blessing? It says, "Reuven Bechori, ata kochi v'reshit oni. Yeter se'et v'yeter az." The Torah tells us, Reuven, you are my firstborn. My strength and my first vigor, exceeding in rank and exceeding in power. Here Yaakov Avinu is teaching us something extraordinary. One of the main things that made Yaakov extraordinarily holy was the fact that he protected his brit to such an extent. ...that a seed did not leave his body until it was utilized for his firstborn son, Reuven. He was so holy that he didn't even have nocturnal emissions while he was sleeping. He obviously didn't waste seed and did not do anything intentional, but his holiness reached such a high level that he didn't even fail unintentionally during sleep.

1:07The first seed that ever left his body was the one that was utilized to bring the event to the world. That's why he calls him, "You are my strength, my first vigor." So here we see that when a person protects their brit, not only are they bringing blessing to themselves, but they're also bringing blessing to their children. bringing blessing to their children because a child that comes from a holy breed, a child that comes from a holy home, is certainly going to have many more spiritual benefits than a person that's coming from all types of other things. Now, later on, we see something very interesting. We see that the blessing that Hashem gives to Shimon and Levi is very, very different very different from the blessing that he gives to anyone else, where he says to Shimon and Levi that obviously, because of their rage, they committed the killing.

2:09At their whim, they smashed the wall of the enemy. This is when their sister Dinah was raped by Shechem, and Shimon and Levi ended up killing all the people of Shechem. This was against what Yaakov wanted; he didn't think that they were going to do that. Nonetheless, he didn't rebuke them at the time. He actually waited all these years to rebuke them, and he says here, "Accursed is their rage, for it is intense, and their wrath, for it is harsh." So he doesn't actually curse them, because obviously they're his children, he loves them, but he says that their anger, their rage, is extremely harsh. Now, one of the things that the Rambam teaches us in his books, in his Yad HaChazakah, and also in a different commentary on the Mishnah, Is that when it comes to character traits, a person has to always lean towards the middle, meaning don't be extreme on one end and don't be extreme on the other, except when it comes to specific things such as anger. Anger is something you have to be extreme with, which means staying as far away as possible from anger. Why? The Gemara in Masechet Shabbat on page 108b says that...

3:30A person that expresses their anger in such a fashion where they throw something, they rip something, or they express it in a physical way by hitting somebody, you could already consider this person an idol worshiper. Why? Because this person obviously loses control of themselves to such an extent that they simply have become a servant. to a different god. Who is this god? It is the evil inclination. Today, this evil inclination is telling him to throw. Tomorrow, it tells him to hit. The next day, it tells him to go serve an idol, and he's going to do that too. Why? Because a person that cannot control themselves is simply not aware that there's a God in heaven who is aware of everything that you're doing and everything that's happening to you. Guess what? Guess who's pressing the buttons? He is. So when you're angry that something broke, when you're angry that someone said something to you that you don't like, or when you're angry that you lost something, in reality, what you're not realizing is that God is the one who decided that all of this is going to happen for a reason. There's a reason for it. So the angrier you are, the more you're showing that you're completely unaware of this divine hand that's in control of everything.

4:43So, hence the reason why it's considered as if a person is practicing idolatry. Now, one of the beautiful things that you can learn from the sages is that many people tend to get angry—obviously, some people more, some people less. And, of course, everyone who is normal would like to get rid of their anger. And I promise you, their spouse wants them to get rid of that anger even more than they want to get rid of the anger themselves. Now, I want to tell you a few things that perhaps will give you a boost, a boost and encouragement to try working on it. Not by working on your anger where you simply contain it in yourself like some of the self-help gurus say, listen, if you're angry, just hold your breath for 20 million seconds. And if you don't die, then you won't be angry either. No. not getting angry is not about containing it and just letting it live inside because eventually it's going to give you a heart attack. In order to get rid of anger, you have to be aware that there is a divine hand that's in control of everything. The more you're aware that God is in control of everything, the less reason you have to be angry.

5:48Now, to do that, you obviously have to learn Torah; you have to learn Mussar. Now, one of the things we learn in this extraordinary book that I've recommended several times to people to remove your anger from your heart—it's a very famous book that many of Gedolei Yisrael, like Rav Kanievsky, his father the Steipler Gaon, Rav Ovadia, and many, many of the Gedolim—recommend. It is highly recommended to read this particular book because everyone has different reasons to get angry. Of course, it all depends on how angry you get, but at the same time, you need as much motivation to remove it from your heart. Why? Because it's simply not a good life to be angry. One of the things that this sefer says on, um, page 165 is that fools fast and afflict their bodies with immersion in ice-cold mikvahs. If they would conquer their rage, it would be greater than a thousand fasts. If you hear someone reveal your shame and remain silent, this is better than a thousand days of fasting. Page 165, he says, fools fast and afflict their bodies with immersion in ice-cold mikvaot. If they would conquer their rage, it would be greater than a thousand fasts. If you hear someone reveal your shame and remain silent, this is better than a thousand days of fasting.

6:50A holy man once turned and said to a man who humiliated him and cursed him publicly, "May Hashem reward you for having torn away the decree of death that I was supposed to receive." The source for this is the Likutei Moharan of Rav Moshe Leib of Sassov. One of the sages from the previous generations is telling us something significant. First and foremost, he refers to people who try to fix themselves by immersing in freezing mikvehs and taking on fasts as fools. Why? He says that if you simply conquer your anger, that's worth more than a thousand of these fasts, more than a thousand of these self-inflicted hardships that you're putting your body through. Just conquer your anger; it's worth a whole lot more. Now, the second thing that he says is that if a person remains silent when someone embarrasses them, curses them, or insults them, the value of that is literally not only worth more than a thousand fasts, it's literally priceless. Why? Because it's showing the Creator above that you are aware that He is the One who decided that this is going to happen.

8:02Whereas when you lose your mind on this person, because he made fun of you, because he did whatever he did to you, then what you're thinking is that that person is in control. In essence, you made this person, your enemy, a little mini-god, which, of course, is not good. Last but not least, he says that there was an example of a person that was a righteous Jew who got insulted. another person, and instead of being angry, he actually went and gave him a blessing. Why? He says, "I knew that there was a decree for some sin that I made in my life, that I was supposed to die early. But because you insulted me and I didn't react, that decree was wiped out." Such is the significance of removing anger from your heart. Even more so, the sages say... that anyone who becomes angry is considered to be an idol worshiper. We have no desire to worship idols, so when would we have the chance to overcome this desire? However, when we conquer our anger, we receive a great merit of overcoming our urge for worshiping idols. Now, this is a sefer kadosh Yisrael.

9:23is very, very valuable for people that either were angry their whole life or people that used to be idol worshipers, such as those who worshiped Christianity and their little Christian god that they claim died on the cross and all that other stuff. This is very valuable for you. Why? because naturally, a person does not want to worship an idol unless there's something wrong with them, and this is the demented culture they live in. But generally speaking, even the people that pray to some statue or even the people in India that pray to a cow, or to rats, or to a motorcycle, and all types of other strange things that they pray to — generally speaking, they all believe that there is something above this thing, some other being. It's just that they involve some type of middleman, some type of idol. Either way, the natural inclination of a person is not to want to worship an idol, but if they did, either by expressing their anger forcefully, or by actually serving an idol, how do they fix it? How do you fix idolatry? Here's the secret: by a person overcoming their anger, they're fixing their former idolatry.

10:33because the anger of today is not different than the idolatry of yesterday. So by a person actually overcoming their anger, they're doing a tikkun. They're doing a tikkun for their former idolatry that they did, which is priceless for anyone that's aware of what's on the line if a person does not do a tikkun. We are meant to be a light unto the nations, not to follow their misguided practices. Remember, every Jew has to remember That he's a Jew and she's a Jew. We don't celebrate non-Jewish holidays, even if they seem harmless. It's a zilzul, a disrespect to the Torah, and could lead to chilul Hashem, a desecration of God's name. Stick to our holy Torah and our own holidays. That's the path of a true Jew.