Are you Prideful or Confident? The difference is life changing . (8 minutes)

1:23Unfortunately, somebody has a problem with him. He doesn't like him. It bothers him. The kid's not stable for him. He walks around instead of sitting down. The kid has a mental deficiency. He's obviously not going to be like everybody else. But he's a very... I personally like the kid. I like him a lot. I think he's great. You spend five minutes with him, you love the kid. But anyway, this one guy has a problem with him. So we talked about it. I'm not going to talk about the whole conversation, but the point of what I'm trying to say is that I told him, listen, you sit very close to where his father sits. So obviously, you're going to see a lot of him because he wants to go to see his father. So what you should do to solve this problem is go to a different seat. Solve the problem. He's not going to come to your seat. No, I'm sitting in a seat for 18 years. I'm not going to move. It's completely wrong. You sit very close to where his father sits. So, obviously, you're going to see a lot of him, because he wants to go see his father. What you should do to solve this problem is go to a different seat. Solve the problem. He's not going to come to your seat. No, I've been sitting in this seat for 18 years. I'm not going to move. It's completely wrong.

2:23I'm sitting in this seat for 18 years. I'm not going to change. He has to change. So, do you see what we're talking about here? He expects someone with a mental deficiency to change before he lowers his pride and changes a seat from one seat to one that's 10 meters away. That's how bad kavod is. That's how bad pride can get. We talked about the Kohanim. This is the first time somebody told him the truth. Everybody always appeases him and I don't necessarily like to please people. So the point I'm trying to make here is that people's pride is very important, and they live their entire life trying to get people to respect them. One of the things that people do is they talk in a certain way and expect people to just comply with whatever they say. Meaning they could talk to you in whatever way they want, but you can't talk to them in the way you want. You can see that in a lot of companies. Any boss that runs a company, something happens, he starts yelling at the people. Not every boss, but a lot of bosses do this, whether they are a store owner or a company owner. Meaning they could talk to you in whatever way they want, but you can't talk to them in the way you want. And you can see that in a lot of companies. Any boss that runs a company, something happens, and he starts yelling at the people. Not every boss, but a lot of bosses do. Whether it's a store owner or company owner.

3:44Somebody screwed up; they mailed something to the wrong address, made a bad sale, or something happened—a mistake was made. It's a human error. Immediately, you see somebody start yelling, yelling, yelling, screaming at the guy, embarrassing him—or the girl—and embarrassing them, which is a different problem with Hashem, but that's a different story. Yelling, yelling, yelling. But if the guy starts yelling back, if the employee starts yelling back, you're fired. If you don't yell back... Just sit there and take it. Okay, it's over. He finished yelling. You go back to your job, and that's it. But if you yell back or even answer in a certain way that he doesn't like, you're fired. But as long as you don't answer, you keep your job—just continue listening to my yelling forever. What's the source of that problem? Pride. One person made a mistake; that's a human error. People make mistakes. If you run a business for five minutes, people are going to make mistakes. We ran a very big company. We know people make mistakes. That's a problem. It happens. Whether you're going to survive or not as a business is going to be determined by how you deal with your mistakes. Because the mistakes will happen. Mistakes will happen in every business. How you deal with those mistakes will determine if you survive or not. So if you're one of those bosses that yells at people and complains and yells and complains and yells and embarrasses them and everything else, I guarantee from experience and from knowledge that I have, you are guaranteed to fail. Guaranteed. Whether it's one year, two years, five years, ten years. In the family, it's the same. Eventually, you will always fail. If your wife... In family, fail. Everything in general. Push the car. Someone that has that type of attitude is guaranteed to fail in whatever they're doing.

5:11and complains and yells and complains and yells and embarrasses them and everything else, I guarantee from experience and knowledge that I have, you are guaranteed to fail. Guaranteed. Whether it's one year, two years, five years, or ten years. In the family, it's the same. Eventually, you will always fail. If your wife... In family, fail. Everything in general. Someone with that type of attitude is guaranteed to fail in whatever they are doing. Because eventually, a time will come when the people around you will be repulsed by you, meaning they'll be disgusted by you, and they will not want to take it anymore. No one will want to be around you, including the customers. So whether you succeed or fail is based on whether you decide to change or not. You say, okay, I'm not going to yell. Fine. But I can talk to them in a proper way. What's the big deal if I say something, if I curse them, but I don't yell it? There's a nice story about how speech, how talking, just talking, just the way you talk, something, same words, different tone, can change everything. There's a story about a father and a son. The father sends his son to school, and he says, "Son, whatever you want, just write me a letter. I don't know how to read, but I'll have the neighbor".

6:37Read it for me, and I'll send it to you. Thank you, Abba. I appreciate it. I love you, Abba. You're my favorite son. I love my son. Great. He sends the son away. The son, after a couple of months, writes a letter, sends it to the neighbor to send to his father. The father doesn't know how to read, so he gives it to his neighbor. The neighbor reads, "Abba, I need money. Please send me $200." Ah, my son. I love my son. Yeah, of course, I'm going to send him $200. He takes one out of his pocket and tells his neighbor, "Please send it for me." He sends it to him. Another couple of months pass. He says, Abba, I need pens. He sends a letter. The neighbor that day is not in a good mood. He goes, "Ah, you again?" The neighbor agrees, "Yeah, yeah, can you read this? It's only a short letter. Can you read it for me?" The letter says, "Abba, I need pens." The father wonders, "Is my son talking to me like this?" What happened to him? No, I'm not going to answer him. So a month passes. The kid didn't get the pens. He sends it to the father again, another letter: "Abba, I need pens." The father comes. He goes, "My son, can you please read it for me?" The guy is also again in a bad mood. He goes, "Abba, I need pens." The father says, "My son has developed an attitude. They're ruining him over there in his school." Another month passes.

8:03Send him a letter. Send him a letter. Same letter. This time, the neighbor is in a good mood. He goes, "Oh, hey, buddy, how are you?" He goes, "Yeah, I have a letter again for my son. I don't know what's wrong with him, but he sent me this letter." I said, "No, he says he just needs pens." He goes, "Ah, there goes my boy. I love my son. Of course, I'm going to send him pens."