Can Jewish People Attend Non KOSHER Events (Superbowl, office parties etc.)

0:10what happens if somebody works for a company and they're having an event, and he could eat, but he chooses not to eat. Is it still okay? Okay, so now you have to understand this question has multiple parts to it. First and foremost, is the place kosher? Not just the food - is the place kosher? Meaning, you can sometimes have a meeting... I remember in New York... I tried keeping kosher, at least to my understanding, ever since I was a kid. So I remember the first client meeting I ever had; it was with a guy, David Taylor, from Texas. David Taylor came to visit me from Texas, and he brought his entourage with him. David Taylor was a former banker at Bank One and Bank of America and so on, a very, very successful guy. He was really nice, and we did business for many years together. "But the first time I ever met him, he brought people with him. And he told me, 'Listen, wherever we want to go, we'll meet you.' So I wanted to go to a fancy schmancy restaurant. So I picked a fancy schmancy restaurant. Only problem is the fancy schmancy restaurant wasn't kosher. Now what did I do? I had a little bit of money. So I said to another fancy schmancy restaurant that's actually kosher, I said, 'I want you to give me a steak to deliver it to my fancy schmancy restaurant.' I told the fancy schmancy restaurant it's not kosher to accept the steak and serve it to me with them. I thought this was okay. This is okay, why? They're giving me a plate. Everybody has their food. They're ordering their steak with, you know, each steak is a zillion dollars, and with the shrimp and with the gefilte fish. And I have a kosher steak in tinfoil. It looks like it's like lunch money, like my wife just made it for me. But whatever, I'm this young guy. I think it's okay."

1:38I want you to give me a steak to deliver to my fancy schmancy restaurant, and I told the fancy schmancy restaurant it’s not kosher. They agreed to accept the steak and serve it to me. I thought this was okay. Why? Because they’re giving me a plate, and everybody has their food. They’re ordering their steak with, you know, each steak is a zillion dollars, with the shrimp and with the garnet fish. I have a kosher steak in tinfoil; it looks like my lunch that my wife just made for me. However, as a young guy, I thought it was okay. Technically, it's okay as far as I ate kosher meat, but it's not allowed. Why is it not allowed? Because the place is not kosher. Now, had I been a religious Jew at the time, I would have known this. Why? Because any Jew walking out or in that sees me in the non-kosher place and by default thinks that the place is kosher. by default thinks that the place is kosher. Why? Because he's not going to look for signs, such as, "Where's the kosher sign? Where's the kosher sign?" He's not going to look for the kosher sign. He says, "Hey, it's the kosher Jew. There's a kosher Jew inside a non-kosher restaurant. That means the restaurant is kosher." He's the certificate. He doesn't know that I got a steak from a different restaurant and it's in tin foil. He doesn't know all that stuff. He's not looking at my plate. And even if he looks at my plate, he just thinks maybe it's just something from the... You know, he doesn't know anything. He doesn't know what I did.

2:57So I become the kosher stamp. That's a problem. So if the place itself is not kosher, under no condition are you allowed to go in there. Even if you're not eating. Forget about eating. Even if you bring your own sandwich, you're not allowed to eat there. Why? Because by sitting there, you are giving that establishment a hechsher in the eyes of others. They see you, a Torah-observant Jew, and assume the place is kosher. This could lead others astray, who trust your judgment and sincerity. That's why it's imperative to avoid creating false impressions. Not allowed. Why? Because you become the kosher certificate, and you have to take on the burden that anyone who, in essence, looks at you and decides to eat at that place, not just that day, but any other time in their life—six months later, five years later—they're going to eat at that place because they remember they saw Bezalel eat there. So it must be, Bezalel is a tzaddik. Who in their right mind is ever going to think Bezalel is sitting in a non-kosher place? Bezalel's certificate. So now you have yourself a problem. Why? Every single time the guy eats there, he thinks it's kosher. His wife thinks it's kosher. The kids think it's kosher. Their friends now think it's kosher. There's a whole entourage of people that Satan brought to this restaurant because they saw Bezalel in the restaurant five years ago. You have a problem. So already, place, not kosher, not allowed to enter. That's one. Two, if the place is kosher and the food is kosher, the second question is, is the environment kosher, meaning is this going to be an immodest place. If, for example, you have a friend, family member, or anyone invites you to an event with immodesty, especially where there's going to be mixed dancing, it's better you refrain from attending.

4:07is the environment kosher? Meaning, is this going to be an immodest place? So now, let's say you have a brother, sister, cousin, parent, uncle, neighbor, best friend, boss, whoever invites you to an event where there's going to be immodesty, especially if there is going to be mixed dancing, it's better you should die and not go there. Why? Because consider the same thing as actually being intimate with these people. Why? Because that's what happens after the place. You become a partner to it. Again, some people don't like to hear this. Some people don't agree with it. But that's what halacha is. What are they going to tell me? No, no, but my rabbi came to my daughter's wedding and there was mixed dancing, there was breakdancing, mixed dancing, undancing, the rabbi was there too. He was sitting there with the other rabbis. They were all at the same table. They didn't dance, but they were there. So, that means it's kosher, right? No, no, it just means they're part of the sin. All it means is they're part of the sin. That's all it means. It doesn't mean it's kosher. So, to go to a place where there's immodesty, you're not allowed to go. Part 3.

5:20So, this means that many of the people who call themselves religious, before we go to part three, believe that they're religious but still host these parties themselves, forgetting about attending them. There are some people that I know who consider themselves very religious. Their kids go to yeshiva, they learn Torah every day, the parents learn Torah, and even wear a kippah. But when they go and they have the party of their own, all of a sudden, all bets are off. All of a sudden, the scarf is replaced by a wig. It's a party. How could I show up to a party with anything less than a three-foot-long wig? Come on, everyone's gonna make fun of me. So, Hashem is in their life up to a point. Up to a point. When there's an event, Hashem's not there. At home, in the laundromat, at the supermarket, the observance is there, but during specific events, adherence to modesty or other Torah principles seems to be more flexible. It's a problematic inconsistency, reflecting a pick-and-choose approach to tradition and halacha. He's there. So we wear a kisui rosh. But at the party, we put a wig on. So already you see there's a problem. Then you see, oh no, we believe in the Torah until it comes to our own personal party. How are we going to have a party without dancing? How are we going to have a party with the wife and the bride and groom not dancing? Everyone has to look at them. How can we have a party without the father and the daughter dancing? Come on, it's a minhag, it's a this. Minhag is bigger than halacha. They start creating their own laws.

6:42So unfortunately, this brings a lot of asonot, a lot of disasters to Am Yisrael. You see that many people, many people that had major disasters in their life, unfortunately, these things preceded it. Just a reality. You want to go write blogs about me, you want to hate me, you want... I didn't write the law. You want to write, go deal with Hashem. You want to go blame me for it? That I was at fault for it. So that's the second thing in regards to modesty and where to attend, and where not to attend. Last but not least, what's the point? What is the point of you attending? That's the point. The third thing is, what is the outcome? What is the point of you attending? Now, if it's a business meal and it's just corporate, now, if you don't attend... If you don't attend, are you going to lose your job? If not, then you have to evaluate: What's the benefit of going? Are you going to get a raise? No. What's going to happen out of it? Is that hour, two hours, three hours, four hours, five hours, six hours of wasting your life at this party, eating with a bunch of people that you may or may not like, wasting your spiritual lifetime doing this, worth it?

7:50What's the benefit of going? Are you going to get a raise? No. What's going to happen out of it? Is that time—the hour, two hours, three hours, four hours, five hours, six hours—of wasting your life at this party, eating with a bunch of people that you may or may not like, wasting your spiritual lifetime doing this, is that worth it? ... is you're gonna go to Olam Haba one day, and they'll say, "Hey, hello, how are you? How is everything?" Oh, okay. This is the Olam Haba you could have gotten. This is what you got. Wait, it's two different things. Oh yeah, that's the six hours. Remember the six hours you spent once a month? That's the difference. That's the difference. Remember the six hours you used to go to parties and stuff? It was a kosher party with kosher people. But that's a different Olam Haba. It's different. Not saying Gehinnom, just saying it's different. So what's the point of you going there? Is there a benefit? Is there a loss? If there's a loss, obviously that has to go into consideration. If there is, because again, it becomes bitul Torah, it becomes you're wasting Torah time. So you have to evaluate all these things, assuming the first two are a pass. Assuming it's a kosher place, kosher food, kosher environment, and so on. Still you have to evaluate why. Why am I going there? So what's the point of you going there? Is there a benefit? Is there a loss? If there's a loss, obviously that has to go into consideration. If there is, because again, it becomes bitul Torah, it becomes you're wasting Torah time. So you have to evaluate all these things, assuming the first two are a pass. Assuming it's a kosher place, kosher food, kosher environment, and so on. Still, you have to evaluate why. Why am I going there?

9:06And I can tell you personally, I mean, Baruch Hashem, I have many students who invite me to events, and it's sad for me, but I don't want to go, so I try to, Baruch Hashem, be busy all the time. Because I always have an excuse, I'm not lying. I don't want to go to a wedding. I don't want to go to a bar mitzvah. I don't want to go to any of these events. Why? It's not because I have anything against them specifically, and I'm not even saying it's not a kosher event. I'm sure if they're my students, Baruch Hashem, and they listen to anything I say, it's going to be a kosher event. But I don't want to go. Why? Even if it's a kosher event with kosher food and everything is kosher, I still don't want to go. Why? I'd rather spend time doing something else. I'd rather help neshamot come back to Hashem. I'd rather learn Torah and help my own neshamah. I'd prefer to do other things than sit there, you know, doing nothing, sitting there for three hours and, I don't know, looking at people. For me, it's not my idea of fun. So, if you like me, don't invite me. You can tell me, listen, you can come if you want to give the honor, the respect, whatever you want to do for your own conscience or something like that. You don't have to even do that. But if you like me, don't invite me. Tell me, you study. Oh, you want to invite me for a shiur? I'll come for a shiur. I'll give you a shiur at your wedding or your party or whatever you want. But other than that, I don't want to dance. I don't want to party. I want to get to Olam HaBa. I'm struggling with that. So spending the three, six hours at weddings and parties is not going to help me.

10:25My opinion.