Daily Chidush: Should We Have MORE KIDS?

0:14Hi, how are you? Sorry it took me a while to get back to you. Just, Baruch Hashem, so many questions, so many people from all over the world. Sometimes it takes a little while, but I always try to get back to people. So, the old question is that, you know, what about when a couple is struggling financially, can barely make ends meet, should they have kids or not? So, the Torah tells us in the Sefer Bereshit that the first mitzvah is Pru u'Rvu. But HaKadosh Baruch Hu also tells us that although He created the world initially with midat hadin, just judgment, do something wrong, punished, do something wrong, punished, in His infinite wisdom He knew that He cannot ... can barely make ends meet, should they have kids or not. So the Torah tells us in the Sefer Bereishit that the first mitzvah is "Peru u'Revu." But HaKadosh Baruch Hu also tells us that although He created the world initially with midat ha'din - just judgment - do something wrong, punished, do something wrong, punished, in His infinite wisdom He knew that He cannot

1:30He also gives us the luxury to do teshuva, which is a mitzvah that doesn't even make rational sense because it's essentially telling you that even if you rob a bank, Hashem will give you a reward for doing teshuva for it, which is unbelievable. So, with that being said, HaKadosh Baruch Hu gives us a lot of time to do teshuva for all the mistakes that we've made and so on. So what about the rest of the mitzvot? What if I want to do a mitzvah, but I can't afford it? So HaKadosh Baruch Hu says, "Who did Me a favor first, and I'll pay him right away?" Why? Because there's no way that someone did something for Hashem first, and I did not do something for him beforehand. But if he did something, I'll pay him right away; I'll pay him cash. So what happens is that sometimes we rationalize some of the mitzvot. We rationalize our lives. We put ourselves in a situation where we unintentionally act like a mini-God. And HaKadosh Baruch Hu says, "Okay, for that is a problem." Why? Because you're humanizing My infinite wisdom, and you're limiting My ability to help you. One of the ways that many people do this is when it comes to children.

2:51When it comes to children, people think that once they have money, then they'll get married. And once they have money, then they'll have kids. And once they have more money, then they'll have more kids. This is the mistake of all mistakes. The reason why is because this is an unintentional kefirah in the divine providence, implying that Hashem is the one who runs the world. Divine providence teaches us that Hashem is the one who runs the world. In essence, it's akin to unintentionally calling Hashem a vicious God. Why? Because, in essence, we're suggesting that when we say we're all going to do it after we get it, we're claiming that Hashem is giving us mitzvot. to have kids, but he's not going to feed them. He's going to starve them to death. So obviously, this is not the case. So what does Hashem do? Hashem gave us a deal. As Chazal teaches in many places, parnassah comes with the children. Parnassah comes with the children, which means that each child that's born, HaKadosh Baruch Hu gives the family new parnassah. And the reason why is because the

4:01Reward for a mitzvah is another mitzvah. So when a person fulfills the mitzvah of pru u’rvu, and not only fulfills the mitzvah of pru u’rvu of having a boy and a girl, but he shows HaKadosh Baruch Hu that he loves this mitzvah so much, and he loves Am Yisrael so much, and he loves Eretz Yisrael so much, he wants to build a little minyan. He wants to be able to win any... HaKadosh Baruch Hu says, you like my mitzvot so much that you're doing even more than what you have to do. I'm going to give you all the tools that you need to do it. So that's why every time you have a kid, I'm going to give you another mitzvah. I'm going to give you another opportunity. I'm going to give you more rewards for it to help you do more mitzvot. So a child is born, HaKadosh Baruch Hu opens the sha'arim, the gates of parnassah. So sometimes a couple says, listen, you know, right now we're making $50,000, $100,000 a year. It's enough to sustain, let's say, a family with a couple of kids—two, three, four kids, wherever. It depends on where you live. So that's why every time you have a kid, I'm going to give you another mitzvah. I'm going to give you another opportunity. I'm going to give you more rewards for it to help you do more mitzvot. So a kid is born, HaKadosh Baruch Hu opens the sha'arim, the gates of parnassah. So sometimes a couple says, listen, you know, right now we're making $50,000, $100,000 a year. It's enough to sustain, let's say, a family with a couple of kids or two, three, four kids, depending on where you live.

4:59So once we get a raise, once we sign a contract, once we do this, once we do that, then we'll have more kids. HaKadosh Baruch Hu says, no, that's not how it works. That's not how it works because that kid with that $100,000 that you're waiting for, that kid with the million dollars that you're waiting for is the next one. It's the one that you didn't have. And that's where I want you to trust Me. And that's why he says, someone that has full bitachon (trust) in Hashem, HaKadosh Baruch Hu (the Holy One, Blessed be He) Himself promises that person, only kindness will befall him. Only kindness. You trust in Hashem, HaKadosh Baruch Hu gives you kindness. So, sometimes a couple is waiting for a big paycheck, and they don't realize that that big paycheck hasn't been written yet simply because it's waiting for them to act. It's waiting for them to make the call, if you will, to HaKadosh Baruch Hu (the Holy One, Blessed is He), saying, "Hashem, we're ready. We're ready." The second thing that a couple needs to know is that because of His attribute of mercy, Hashem promised us that He will not give us a test that we cannot handle.

6:11...obligated to fulfill the mitzvot and do our hishtadlut, to do everything we can. As far as what the outcome of our mitzvot are, that's only in Hashem's hands. Which means that a couple can try to have kids day and night for as long as they want. It doesn't mean they're going to succeed. If they do succeed, it means that they can handle it. It means that Hashem is going to give them the tools to handle it. obligated to fulfill the mitzvot and do our hishtadlut, to do everything we can. As far as what the outcome of our mitzvot is, that's only in Hashem's hands. This means a couple can try to have children day and night for as long as they want. Doesn't mean they're going to succeed. What if they succeed? That means they can handle it. That means Hashem is going to give them the tools to handle it. I have a dear friend that he and his wife tried to have kids for 14 years. They waited for 14 years, and they are going to have a child next week. For 14 years, they waited. Now, these people are religious. He is an avrech; he learns in a kollel. Everything is good. But HaKadosh Baruch Hu said they have to wait. Why? That’s His business. So, that didn’t stop them from trying.

7:26That didn't stop them from putting their hishtadlut, but HaKadosh Baruch Hu only gave it to them now because now they can handle it. So that's what a person needs to know. Number one, having bitachon b'Hashem is an obligation. That's why HaKadosh Baruch Hu nearly destroyed Am Yisrael ten times in the Chumash because they didn't have bitachon b'Hashem. So not having bitachon b'Hashem is a very big problem. Second of all, that big check, that parnasah, that's the sechar mitzvah mitzvah. The money that we want from HaKadosh Baruch Hu, that comes with the kids. That comes with the kids. And the third and most important is that a person needs to know that we are only obligated to do our hishtadlut. The outcome is in Hashem's hands, which means that if it works, that means that Hashem is gifting it to you. He's gifting it to you because you can handle it and because He's going to give you all the tools that you need to handle it. And that's why we tell HaKadosh Baruch Hu, thank you every single day for giving us the ability to breathe, for giving us the ability to eat, for giving us the ability to fulfill Your mitzvot, for giving us the ability to reproduce and have the next generation of people that could do the same thing. Look how many children the Arabs, yimach shemam, have. They don't worry about parnasah, but yet each one of them is having, on average, nine and a half kids.

8:46I don't know if the half is because they blow them up, because they're terrorists, or because of the statistics. But the point is, they're not worried about parnasa. Why? Because that same pasuk, that same pasuk, "Boteach Ba'Hashem chesed yesovevenu," also applies to resha'im. That's what the Gaon MiVilna says, that "Boteach Ba'Hashem chesed yesovevenu," that someone who has confidence in Hashem, can still receive chesed, even if they are resha'im. If they have confidence in Hashem, Hashem will help them. And He does. What about Am Yisrael, Am HaNivchar? If He's helping the resha'im, He's helping the terrorists. He's not going to help Am Yisrael? So a person needs to know. We have to apply HaKadosh Baruch Hu's Torah through thick and thin. Even when it doesn't make sense to our little puny brains. Doesn't make sense to give shiurim for a living for free. Doesn't make sense to give everything you do for free. Doesn't make sense to work at 3, 4, 5 o'clock in the morning. Doesn't make sense to barely see your kids until Shabbat because you're helping army soldiers. Doesn't make sense that you leave Wall Street making $3,000 an hour and go work. Doesn't make sense. What? Hakadosh Baruch Hu wants soldiers, and that's what we do. That's what we do. And if we can do it...

10:09And if the terrorists can do it, and if the people in Bnei Brak can do it, surely you can do it. Surely you can do it. So trust in HaKadosh Baruch Hu. Trust in HaKadosh Baruch Hu because that's what He's looking for. And I promise you that once you see these blessings come, it's going to improve your emunah. Because emunah is a muscle. The more you exercise it, the bigger it gets, the stronger it gets. Have emunah and bitachon in HaKadosh Baruch Hu, and you will never, ever regret it. Hopefully, this answers your questions. And Be'ezrat Hashem, I look forward to telling you, Mazal Tov.

11:38I'm here to learn Torah with you. If you have a question about the parsha or the halacha, please share it. I'm committed to approaching today’s learning with a love for Am Yisrael and Torah. Let's elevate our learning together.