How to fight Depression? ( 10 minutes)

0:00More than anything today, we need the healing of the soul, not necessarily just the healing of the body, because someone can have a body that's 100%, but if their neshama is Tisha B'Av, and they're far from Hashem, you have yourself a problem. And that's actually one of the biggest things, you know, before we get into the shiur or the parasha itself, we'll talk about it also, people have an understanding, a misunderstanding, that when someone is in a depression, it's okay for them to be considered almost like a sickly person, and it's okay for them to not do Ratzon Hashem, not necessarily get closer to Hashem. But there's nothing further from the truth. I've had this situation a few times over the last couple of weeks, with people asking about depression, because depression is something that, unfortunately, in the material world, we suffer a lot from. Sometimes you see that the more material wealth someone has, the more money they have, the more likely they are to become depressed. I always mention the same example, which is the most recent example of Robin Williams. He died; he had more material wealth than most people even know what to do with, but unfortunately, he committed suicide. So, depression is a spiritual feeling. It's something emotional, but emotions are spiritual.

1:26Which means that when someone has any type of depression, it means that their neshama is suffering. Their neshama is suffering because something is missing. It's not because you didn't get the job. It's not because your girlfriend dumped you. It's not because you can't find a boyfriend. It's not because your kids are failing in school. That's not the real reason. Depression comes because your neshama is suffering because something is missing. All the money in the world is not going to heal it. All the boyfriends and girlfriends in the world are not going to heal it. The only thing that's going to heal it permanently is if you give the neshama its food. And its food has to be something spiritual; it has to be something that is, you know, that's holy. Not, you know, not something material. Material may, you know, plug the hole momentarily, but it's like an Alka-Seltzer pill. You know, have you ever seen the commercial for Alka-Seltzer? You put it in a cup, and then it disintegrates after a few seconds? Same thing. When you put money... you know, you give somebody who wins the lottery, okay, so they were depressed before they won the lottery, now they have the lottery, so they're going to start spending money left and right, but eventually, after a few months, a year, whatever it is, the feeling they had before returns with a vengeance. It's even worse than it was before, because now, the hope of "once I get rich, I'm going to be happy," is not there anymore, because they don't have the hope anymore. So, when someone has any form of depression, and I can tell you from personal experience, I suffered from depression for many, many years,

2:54From the years I was a teenager all the way to when I was much older, and until I did teshuva, I had no concept of how to heal it. One of the ways that I would try to plug the hole was to work a lot, so I'd keep myself busy. But once in a while, it didn't work. So I'm very familiar with the whole issue. I studied it psychologically and in a lot of other ways. And I can guarantee you that from experience, not just from learning Torah, but from experience, the only thing that works is a spiritual solution. a spiritual solution. So, when someone says, "Listen, because I'm depressed, maybe it's okay for me to pass on a few mitzvot," it's the exact opposite. When you're depressed, you should actually add mitzvot; you should do more. Why? Because your neshama is yearning for it. It needs the food that's been missing for a long time. You've starved it for a week, for a month, for two months, for a year, five years, ten years. Now it has gotten to a point where it's struggling to even survive. So now is the time to add mitzvot, to add kedushah, to add Torah, to do even more, even though it's difficult in the end because you have a lot of, you know, tum'ah around you from all of the sins that you're committing. Additionally, it's very difficult to connect to Hashem when you're in a state of depression. Hashem immediately distances Himself, in essence, in a spiritual way, from people who are sad. One proof of that we have from Yaakov Avinu. Even though Hashem is always among us,

4:24When Yaakov Avinu found out that his son Yosef was killed, immediately his name was changed from Yisrael, which meant that he had prophecy, to Yaakov. And then you see 22 years later, when he finds out that Yosef is alive, the very same verse calls him Yaakov, and as soon as he finds out, it calls him Yisrael. It comes back to being Yisrael. So that means for over 20 years, Yaakov did not have prophecy. Not have Nevuah. Why does Hashem distance Himself from someone that's sad? Why is Hashem distanced? Don't we need Him even more? Don't I need Hashem even more when I'm depressed? The key here is that Hashem is telling you that you're only depressed because you have no Emunah. That's your problem. You don't believe in Me. Okay, you don't believe in Me. Go ahead. Try to figure it out on your own. When you have Emunah, then I'll come back. Why does it say that someone who's depressed... have no emunah. Or someone who's angry also has no emunah. Someone who has any negative feelings, it's always because of a lack of emunah. Why is it a lack of emunah? Because, in essence, what Hashem is telling you here is that "I created the heaven and the earth and everything in between. I'm in control of everything. You're in control of nothing. The only thing you're in control of is whether you're going to be righteous or wicked." So when something happens, it's because I signed off on it and I made it happen.

5:53And if you got mad, or you got upset, or you got depressed, then what are you really saying? What you're really saying here is that maybe Hashem made a mistake. The tachlis, the bottom line, is that when we're upset, we're saying we don't deserve it. We don't deserve what Hashem gave us. I got a flat tire. I lost some money. This thing, that thing, all these things happened. Why are all of these things happening to me? Why is Hashem doing this? Okay, let's say you believe in G-d. You say, oh, maybe Hashem did this to me. But why? So you're questioning Hashem. In essence, what you're saying is, maybe Hashem made a mistake. Maybe He's so busy with everything else. Chas v'shalom, maybe He's too busy and He made a mistake with me. Like Iyov, Job. thought maybe Hashem made a mistake, and he said maybe he thinks that Iyov, which is the Hebrew way of saying Job, is Oyiv. You spell the words with the same letters. Iyov means Job. Oyiv means enemy. So Iyov said maybe Hashem is giving me all this suffering because he made a mistake and he thinks that Iyov is really an enemy. So when Hashem answered him, Hashem told him, I know the names of

7:09...come out of the same hole, immediately the person goes blind. So I have to make sure that not two hairs are sharing panasah. You think if I know the names of even your hairs, I created the heaven and the earth and everything in between, I made a mistake on your name? Instead of Eyovitz, Oyev? come out of the same hole, immediately the person goes blind. So I have to make sure that not two hairs are sharing parnassah. And I even know the names. You think if I know the names of even your hairs, I created the heaven and the earth and everything in between, I made a mistake on your name? Instead of Iyov it's Oyev? You think that just because you don't understand why I gave you a flat tire and you missed a meeting, why the customer fired you, why this one hates you, why this one wrote a blog about you and tells you all these bad things, why this, why that, why the kids are failing in school, you think I made a mistake? And that's why you're depressed? That's why you're angry? Maybe you should look differently. Maybe you should look in the mirror and say, wait a minute.

8:30Since I'm not Moshe Rabbeinu, Hashem is not going to talk to me out of a bush. So what is He talking to me through? He's talking to me through the events around my life, the things that are happening around me. When things are happening around me, if I pay attention to them, that means Hashem is telling me something. Something upon us is not coming as easily as it did last month or even yesterday. Hashem is telling me, maybe I'm not happy with the way you spent that money. Maybe instead of giving Maaser, you took an extra vacation instead. Maybe instead of giving that poor man tzedakah $500 because you had it at that point, you gave him only $50. And the $450 you put in a savings account just for a rainy day, as if I don't have a rainy day for you already planned. Duh. Mm-hmm. So I gave you the money. You didn't use it the right way. I'm not going to give you the money anymore. What's the point of me giving you the money? I'm giving you all this money so you can use the money to help my people. If you're not going to use it for me, I'm not going to give it to you. Simple as it gets. So, people, people, whatever, shouldn't they plan for retirement in a way? Uh...

9:51emunah, complete faith and trust in Hashem, does not plan for retirement.