How to Properly View Suffering? (13 minutes)

0:02In Gemara Masechet Chullin, page 7, it explains the common question that we hear today. A lot of people go through suffering, whether it's a broken fingernail, a flat tire, you bought the wrong size shirt, or your son failed in school. Wake up with a cold. All types of things. Different suffering for different types of people. And everyone always looks up and says, huh, why? Why, Hashem? When the Gemara Masechet Chullin, it tells you why. It says there's no such person that gets an injury on his finger. down in this world, without there being a righteous reason for it in the upper world. Translation: there's no suffering without sin. It's called kaparat avonot for a reason. Meaning, anything that we're suffering for, there's a reason for it.

1:25either we've sinned in this life, or perhaps in a previous life, but nonetheless, we've sinned. There's a reason for it. Now, suffering, though, is a choice. You don't have to suffer. Because once you understand what kaparat avonot is, once you understand what suffering is, and its essence as an atonement for your sins, You could change it and actually look at it as less than suffering. And if you get to a really, really high level of Yirat Shamayim and Ahavat Hashem, you may even get to a point of actually welcoming it, like some of the sages did in the past. We're not going to get there overnight, but let's explain how we can get there. If I know that me taking a coin out of my pocket, instead of it being a quarter, it's a dime. In Shamayim, it's considered suffering. Obviously, a very low form of suffering, but suffering nonetheless. The surgery where I screamed for 62 days is a higher level of suffering than the coin. I prefer the coin. I'm sure you do too. But both of them are different levels of suffering. That me taking a coin out of my pocket, instead of it being a quarter, it's a dime. In Shamayim, it's considered suffering. Obviously, a very low form of suffering, but suffering nonetheless. The surgery where I screamed for 62 days is a higher level of suffering than the coin. I prefer the coin. I'm sure you do too. But both of them are different levels of suffering.

2:46Once we look at it as the general secular perspective, which is, why is this happening to me? It's not nice. Why is Hashem doing this to me? And we treat ourselves like victims. Then that means that we are suffering 24 hours a day, every single day that we're alive, with moments of happiness in between. We are always suffering. Always. Wake up suffering, go to sleep suffering, in between with suffering, and maybe once a year we go on a break for a vacation to Tahiti or something, and while we're looking at the beach, we're not suffering until the waiter comes with the wrong drink and then we're suffering again. But in general, we're always suffering. If we are victims, if we're not at fault, life is terrible. It's awful. It's depressing. Why would you want to live a week? You're always going to suffer. You're guaranteed to suffer. There are even t-shirts they made and sell in flea markets that tell you to expect to suffer. I can't say it because it's foul language. But I'm a vinayvin. The point is that life without understanding the purpose of suffering is awful. And this is why we have so many depressed people.

4:11Because the psychiatrists tell us, "I can't really help you, but I'll listen to you for $350 an hour." I went to one one time, and I think it was $350 or $400 an hour. But as soon as I got to exactly one hour, he says, "Yeah, thank you very much, but we're going to have to continue this next week." I'm like spilling my heart out, and the guy tells me, "We're done now. We're going to continue next week." Like, wow, you care so much. I don't think I'm going to see you again. So our psychiatrists tell us, "Thank you. I'll listen to you, but I can't actually help you." If someone has an addiction, which we talked about earlier today briefly... But as soon as I got to exactly one hour, he says, "Yeah, thank you very much, but we're going to have to continue this next week." I'm like spilling my heart out, and the guy tells me, "We're done now. We're going to continue next week." Like, wow, you care so much. I don't think I'm going to see you again. So our psychiatrists tell us, "Thank you. I'll listen to you, but I can't actually help you." If someone has an addiction, which we talked about earlier today briefly... You have a drug addiction, you have an alcohol addiction, you have a sex addiction, all types of crazy addictions this generation has. You go to an AA meeting that's in a church, surrounded by avodah zarah (idol worship), and they tell you, yes, this is a disease, and you're going to suffer from it forever unless you come here. Meaning there's no cure. It's a disease to be a drug addict. It's a disease to be...

5:30Any type of addict. And by the way, thank you for coming. If we think that way, then yes, we have a disease and it's not curable. But once we realize that it's not a disease, once we realize that Daas Torah, the wisdom of the Torah, tells us that there is no such thing as a disease such as alcoholism, or drug addiction, or any type of addiction. It's a desire. That's it. It's just a desire. Some people have more of a desire than others, but it's a desire. How do we know it's a desire? You weren't born with it, and you can stop. It may be hard for you to stop, but you can stop without taking medicine. Pfizer is not making drugs to help people stop taking drugs because that would take them out of business.

6:33The people out there that have quit taking drugs or alcohol or any type of other addiction, in many cases realize that it's just a choice. Once you realize it's a desire, then you realize it's a choice. Once you realize it's a choice, then you start making the right choice. Or at least you have a chance of making the right choice. But as long as you listen to these people that tell you it's not a choice, you have to come here in order to stay away from this choice, then unfortunately, you really do have a disease. It's just called stupidity. It's not called drug addiction. So, once we realize that we have a lot of choices to make... or at least you have a chance of making the right choice. But as long as you listen to these people that tell you it's not a choice, you have to come here in order to stay away from this choice, then unfortunately, you really do have a disease. It's just called stupidity. It's not called drug addiction. So, once we realize that we have a lot of choices to make, we realize that one of our choices is to recognize that there's a different perspective from which we can view our suffering. And we do not have to view it like most people. We do not have to view it as a negative thing. We do not have to view it as if we are victims. We can view it as having a purpose. We realize that one of our choices is to understand that there's a different perspective from which we can view our suffering. We do not have to see it like most people. We do not have to view it as a negative thing. We do not have to see ourselves as victims. We can view it as having a purpose.

7:43Once you see that, okay, wait a minute. This God is a holy God. He's a good God. He created me. If He wanted me purely to just suffer, it wouldn't be in this world. There's a much, much more intense place called Gehenom. He could send me there. Why make me suffer here? Meaning that as long as you're here, you're not here to suffer. There is a higher purpose. Suffering is done somewhere else, like Kaf HaKela or Gehenom. Other places. Not here. Meaning that the suffering that you endure here has a purpose. Part of it is to cleanse you, part of it is to ensure that you're prepared for a better place. This requires you to become less stubborn. Chazal say that if Am Yisrael did not go to Egypt... They would never have had the merit to receive the Torah. They were too stubborn of a people and completely intolerable to the rest of mankind. So they had to go through years and years of suffering in order for them to soften up their character. And even then, we have ourselves today. We're still stubborn. But Baruch Hashem, this stubbornness is also what kept us Jewish.

9:10No other nation would have survived with as much persecution as our brothers and sisters have gone through. We would just quit, start something new. Like the Christians start every other day. There's a new sect, Protestants and this one and that one and Seventh Day Adventists. There's a new thing every week. Now they started a new movement in recent years called the Messianic Movement, but they call themselves Jews. 100% Christianity, but now they call themselves Jews and they created a new name for their idol. They chose a name from the Torah, called Yeshu. Why? Because the other one is not in the Torah, so they stopped having a fight. So they created a new name. They added a few letters, only in this generation. So you see that nonsense continues. But nonetheless, our nation... continues to have a choice, Hashem continues to bring us back to the world, but at the same time continues to let us suffer. There's no end of suffering that I hear every day, every week. Someone calls me with a different story, whether it's a health crisis, marriage crisis, money crisis, or any other crisis in between. It never ends. The real job of kiruv starts after the lecture. After you leave and it's all wonderful, that's when it really starts. That's the 20 hours a day. The lecture is the fun part.

10:37The real key work starts after. It's also fulfilling, but it's much harder work than just talking. So if I viewed suffering like a miserable, horrendous situation, no one should ever call me. What could I do? Yes, I'm sorry to hear you're suffering. She could have paid $350 somewhere else and helped somebody make a living with that instead of doing it for free with me. Why call me and tell me you're suffering if I agree with you that you're suffering? Why tell me that you're going through trouble and there's no point? There is a point. The reason why people call me is because I explain to them what the possibility of why the point is.

11:38The point is that you probably made some type of sin at some point. And Hashem sees that you're authentic and you're realistic and you are trying to do teshuva. And therefore He says, listen, my son or my daughter, I love you. I see that you're trying to become modest. I see that you're trying to keep Shabbat, keep kosher, keep the mitzvot, keep teshuva. I see that you're actually learning Torah for real and you're not just playing video games and watching TV. I see that you're actually trying. So, there's a tab that you still owe me for the previous sins before you did teshuva. You have to pay for it. You have two choices. You could pay for it here for a year, two years, three years, or four. Or, where I am. There's a section that I call a department called Gehinnom, and The sentences are very, very long because there's no time there, because there's no material. And if you compare the time there to here, it could be millions of years for just one small sin. So He already knows which choice we would pick if He asked us, so He makes it for us. He says, okay, you're going to suffer for a year instead of suffering for a million. Much, much worse.

13:01And when you get up there and you finally find the news, say, "Thank you, Hashem. This was worth it. It's a good deal." So now, when you realize, okay, there is a deal to be made. I have to pay for something. Therefore, this is why it's happening.