Is My Platonic Relationship at Work Kosher? (9 minutes)

0:57So the evil inclination is in each one of us. It influences us to do everything that's the opposite of what we're supposed to do. Meaning, you want to go to shiur Torah, all of a sudden you're tired. All of a sudden you get a phone call that you've been waiting for all day. All of a sudden somebody shows up at your house unannounced and wants your attention. All of a sudden the kid's crying. But if you say, listen, I want to go to the game, Nobody's in the way. Yeah, honey, go, go, enjoy. Your wife gives you a little lunch bag. You're all excited to go to the game. Nobody gets in the way of you going to the game. You want to go to shiur Torah? If Amalek could come to your house and stop you, he would do it. Going to the doctor, we're on time. Even though we know that the doctor is going to make us wait in the waiting room for an hour and a half, we're still on time. We're even early by 15 minutes. The lawyer charges $300 or $400 an hour just for his assistant. He uses his assistant, and it's $300 an hour. To him, it could be $600, $700, or $800 an hour, maybe more. To him, he says, meaning at 2 o'clock, you go at 2 o'clock.

2:08You're there already at 1:45. He's busy till 3:00. You're standing over there like a little donkey. He starts at 3:00. No complaints. Hey, yeah, thank you. I know you're busy. It's like you're giving him credit for being so busy, for making you wait. I understand. I understand. Thank you. And he's charging you 300 bucks for that hour that you waited. You read his magazine. It's worth something. You go to shiur; Torah doesn't start on time. Oh, come on, what kind of place is this? It's not organized. It's not professional. Making us wait 10 minutes? Making us wait an hour? The Yetzer Hara gets into your mind, convinces you to do the opposite of what you're supposed to do, and think the opposite of what you're supposed to think. So, Hashem says that once in a while, listen, you're doing teshuva. The Yetzer Hara is going to come to you all the time, every day. You wake up in the morning, and the Yetzer Hara is there. Like one time, this Rabbi tells his students, "Listen, you have to come to the shiur. Every day we have tefillah at 6 o'clock in the morning. After tefillah is over at approximately 7:15, we have a shiur for a half hour to get the day started. No, come on time. It's very hard for me to wake up in the morning." "Yeah, but you have to pray." It's like, okay, okay, no, Tehillim.

3:22Because I'm watching YouTube videos. It's 1 o'clock in the morning. Don't watch them at 1 o'clock in the morning. Watch them at 8. But I'm in front of my pool at 8 o'clock. Okay, so switch. You don't have to be. Change your schedule. Why? Because you have to daven. You can't daven at noon. So the next morning, Tefillah starts at 6, he's not there. The shiur starts at 7:15, he's not there. At 10 o'clock, he finally shows up. The rabbi says, no, yetzer hara is very strong. So beat him already. No, come on, beat him. You can do it. Okay, okay, fine. Tomorrow I'll beat the yetzer hara. The next day, he shows up at 12. Worse than the other day. No, what happened today? You never believe it. I actually beat the Yetzer Hara today. What do you mean? It's 12 o'clock. No, no, no. I actually woke up at 5. Knowing that I have to be here at 6, I woke up at 5. No. I got dressed. No. Everything was ready. No. 15 minutes before I leave, the Yetzer Hara shows up.

4:36And what happened? I started fighting him. He told me to go back to sleep. I said, no. He told me to go back to sleep. I said, no. We're fighting, we're fighting. I'm punching, he's punching, this, that, the other thing. I beat him at 6 o'clock. I was ready. You know what happened? I was dead tired. I had to get some sleep. So, Hashem is telling you, the yetzer hara is always going to be with you. Every day, all the time. Now, there are two different types of yetzer hara. One yetzer hara is going to be on a regular basis, ongoing basis. Every day, all day. Waking up in the morning, learning Torah here and there. Doing mitzvot, saying a bracha before you eat. Regular stuff, every day. Every day yetzer hara. And then there's a different yetzer hara. A yetzer hara that's like an atomic bomb on your head. You go to work, and all of a sudden they hire a new assistant at the office. And this new assistant, all of a sudden, she wants your attention. You're married, though.

5:36And all of a sudden she wants you to show her around because she just moved into the area and be friendly. Platonic relationship? More like atomic relationship—an atomic bomb. Because as soon as your wife realizes that you spent time with some girl from the office for an hour and a half after work, or during work, or before work, or any time at all, your marriage may be over. But you're not thinking about that at that moment. You're thinking about how she's cute, she likes you, and you're helping her out at the end of the day. You're being such a nice guy, you're a tzaddik. It's chesed because she's new in the area. And since she's a goya, she's the perfect candidate for this act. Look, it's kiddush Hashem. Showing the Goyim how nice Jews are. All of the justification in the world is going to come to you, is going to tell you, listen, you should take her out, show her around. Maybe even pay for her rent for a month or two. Yetzer Hara is going to tell you all these different things, but this is an atomic bomb. So the Gemara in the Seder Berachot, page 5 says,

6:53If the Satan comes to you this way, with this atomic bomb, then you do what we talked about in previous shiurim. First, you say Kriyat Shema. Then, you learn some Torah. And then, you remind yourself of the day you're going to die. Simple explanation of all three. He says, first remind yourself there's a God. Say Kriyat Shema. Shema Yisrael. Hashem, I remember there's a God that's watching me. There's an eye that sees, an ear that hears. Everything that we're doing is being written in a book. It's from the previous week's Mishnah. Last week's shiur we did in New York. Shema Yisrael reminds you there's a God that's watching you. Eventually, you're going to have to pay the bill, my friend. Maybe your wife is not going to find out, but Hashem knows. Maybe your wife is not going to find out, but the demons you're creating, they also know. The mitzvah you're trying to make is no mitzvah at all, my friend. You're destroying your eternity with this chesed. So say Kriyat Shema. Sometimes it's not enough, though. Sometimes it's not enough. Maybe somebody's connection to Hashem is not that strong. For him to even put himself in that situation already shows Kriyat Shema may not be enough. He's not that strong. He's very vulnerable.

8:14He watches a few things with some modesty on the internet. So he always thought about this thing being, you know, exotic. All the shtuyot in his head that show him in movies. He wants to be like a character in a movie. So Kriat Shema is not going to be enough for him. So go, go, go. Run. Go learn some Torah. Read something. Open a Sefer Tehillim. Open a Chumash. Open a Gemara. This is why everyone should always have something—some Sefer Kodesh with you at all times. In all times, prepare yourself. The Yetzer Hara is coming. Engage with study. What do you mean study? I can't even concentrate. All I can see is this enticing distraction, demanding my focus. You want me to learn Torah? Okay, maybe that's not going to be sufficient for you. So the sages advise, remind him of the day of death. But why? No one enjoys contemplating mortality.