RAMBAM's Secret Advice To Stop Sin Addiction of Wasting Seed (13 Minutes)

0:13Many people ask me—I don't know, I guess since I'm the one that actually made a lecture in English about wasting seed, they made me some type of expert in it—but it's a very difficult thing to overcome, especially for the younger generation. So, how do you overcome an addiction? According to the Zohar HaKadosh, wasting seed is the biggest addiction a human can possibly have. more than any drug, more than money, more than anything else, but wasting seed is the highest level of addiction you can get to, because the Rambam explains it's in essence the only reason why you actually even have a body. If Hashem was not going to need for you, or want for you, to bring children to the world, there would be no purpose for your body. Which in essence means that one of the ultimate purposes of the body is to generate seed.

1:16So once someone gets addicted to it, it's very, very difficult to stop. The Rambam, I'm talking about right now, which we'll go into in a second, says one needs to stay away from joking, you know, messing around, doing nonsense. So now, how do you overcome this? How do you overcome this huge desire? So Halacha 21. The Rambam says the following: Someone needs to stay away from joking, you know, messing around, doing nonsense. These are things that lead, in essence, and again I'm interpreting it not word for word but in understandable language, to the crime of promiscuity, to the sin of sex crimes. These are things that lead, in essence, and again, I'm interpreting it not word for word but in an understandable language. These are things that lead to the crime of promiscuity, to the sin of sexual crimes.

2:42So here, he's telling you something very interesting. Don't get to a point of becoming used to this type of behavior and don't empty your mind from Torah. And distance your thinking from wisdom. Don't get to a point of becoming used to this type of behavior and don't empty your mind from Torah. And distance your thinking from wisdom. ...שאין מחשבת עריות מתגברת אלא בלב פנוי מן החוכמה. Because the thought of arayot, which is a sex crime, promiscuity, immodesty, and so on, only takes hold of a lev panuy, an empty heart, min hachochmah.

4:14the thought of promiscuity, sex, all of those thoughts that are distanced from Hashem, are only going to enter a mind that's far away from wisdom. And what is wisdom? We know it's Torah. So, in so many words, the Rambam is teaching us his secret of how to overcome wasting seed, and really how to overcome all sins. Don't sit there and do nothing. Learn Torah, but to such an extent that you always have some type of chiddush or some type of Torah-related thought on your mind. whether it's parashat shavua, or the halachah you learned that morning, or something you learned in shiur, something going on in your mind. Because as soon as your mind is empty of any Torah thought, it's in essence considered an empty mind. Once it's an empty mind, you're leaving the door open for promiscuity to enter, because that's in essence what your body is asking for.

5:40As soon as your body feels there's a need for it to do something, because your neshama is bored, that's what the body is doing. So, the secret: learn. It's not such a big secret. So now, I had a couple of talmidim yeshiva and actually a couple of avreichim that contacted me. about this issue, and one guy told me, "Listen, I learned, I learned, I'm serious, this, that, the other thing, but I still have this problem." So, get married. "But I'm married. I have kids, I have kids, and I still have this problem. As soon as I have free time, or my wife goes to sleep, immediately I put on something on the TV, on the computer, or the phone, or something, and destroy my life. How? How do I stop this?" Rambam gave the answer. Rambam gave the answer. He's telling you that the only way you're going to get to a point of actually even desiring that sin is if you have a lev panui mi chokhmah. Immediately, I put on something on the TV, on the computer, or the phone, or something, and destroy my life. How? How do I stop this? Rambam gave the answer. Rambam gave the answer. He's telling you that the only way you're going to get to a point of actually even desiring that sin is if you have a lev panui mi chokhmah.

7:07Meaning is if you have some space, you're leaving some space, you're not using all of your mind. And the answer was that yes, you're studying Torah, but not at your level. You're studying just to fill a void. You're studying because you have to go, you have to study. That's what you do at a kollel. You smoke 18 cigarettes a day. You make a couple of phone calls here and there. You talk with each other. You're studying. You're there, but you're not studying, studying. You're studying. There's studying and there's studying. So, there are two things you have to do. One, get serious with studying. How? How? do something called "Tani Dibur" for two hours. Serious learning. Now start learning like you're learning ABCs. Learn serious Torah for two hours straight. Two hours every day for 90 days straight. You can become something special. Do it for longer, obviously even better. But 90 days straight, no breaks. Even if it's Yom Kippur. So that's one. Two hours in a row. When you're studying, don't talk about anything mundane. It's not easy, it's not for the average person, but anyone that wants miracles in their life, do this for two hours a day for at least 90 days in a row. You want a serious miracle, like I'm not a miracle worker, I'm not a Kabbalist, I'm not anything, but I know this works. You want a serious miracle,

8:28You do Tani, Dibur, two hours. Serious learning. Now start learning like you're learning ABCs. Learn serious Torah for two hours straight. Two hours every day for 90 days straight. You can become something special. Do it for longer, obviously even better. But 90 days straight, no breaks. Even if it's Yom Kippur. So that's one. Two hours in a row. No, two hours spread over a week is not the same. Yeah, two hours in a row. What's the meaning if it's not two hours in a row? If it's not two hours in a row, it's not really studying. If you're studying five minutes in the morning, five minutes in the afternoon, five minutes here and there, and you spread it over a period of a week, it's not the same. If it's two hours in a row, that's serious study. The Arizal actually said that if you're not studying for four hours in a row, you didn't really study. But we're not at that level. Let's go to two hours. Two hours in a row of serious study. That's step number one. Two. Study things that are at your level. Which for him, for this specific avrech, what he was studying was not at his level. It's fine. He was studying Gemara. It was good. It was just tochen mayim, grinding water. He had to do something a little bit more difficult. And Baruch Hashem, he did it. It changed his life. His marriage got better. His kids got better. His life got better. Everything got better. So I know this works. Go ahead, your question.

9:49Is listening to a shiur the same thing as studying? It is considered Torah, but it's not considered the same level. It is considered Torah if you're a beginner. If you're just starting out, listening to a shiur Torah is great. You need to listen to a shiur Torah. Even if you're not a beginner, you should listen to some shiur Torah from time to time. But if you are already in for a while, then you have to do more. We can do more than just shiur Torah. You have to listen to shiur Torah plus, you know, something else. If you're a talmid yeshiva, then you have to study from the sefarim. You're at a level of studying from the sefarim. If you're just starting out, then shiur Torah is fine. If you're somewhere in between, then you can split it up. You can do an hour of shiur Torah and an hour of Gemara. An hour of, you know, something that stimulates your brain. You know, don't just read like Sifrei Tzadikim. Yes, it's considered Torah. Don't disrespect the Sifrei Tzadikim or any part of the Torah. All of it is good. But if you want miracles to happen pertaining to this 90-day thing that I'm talking about, it has to be Torah that causes you to sweat. Like I've been sweating for the last hour and a half here from the heat. Like that.

11:06You forgot to turn on the air conditioner today. No, here, because the Tzadik in the back turned it on. Because he was suffering, he saw me suffering, so he started suffering for me. You've been watching me melt over here like an ice cream. So, where does the Rambam get his chidush from? He gets it from this Mishnah. Because this Mishnah says, one who turns his heart to idleness, a person who leaves his heart open to shtuyot, to nonsense. He's thinking about baseball and basketball games. He's thinking about the stock market, about what's going to happen tomorrow when the market opens at 9:30. He's thinking about stock options that he bought and whether they will expire on Friday. He's thinking about the girl that he met, whether she's the one or she's not the one. He's thinking about what he's going to do this weekend. He's thinking about shtuyot. He's thinking about this world. He's not thinking about the next world, the real world. He says, it's him. to shtuyot, to nonsense. He's thinking about baseball and basketball games. He's thinking about the stock market, about what's going to happen tomorrow when the market opens at 9:30. He's thinking about stock options that he bought and whether they'll expire on Friday. He's thinking about the girl that he met, whether she's the one or she's not the one. He's thinking about what he's going to do this weekend. He's thinking about shtuyot. He's thinking about this world. He's not thinking about the next world, the real world. He says, it's him.

12:19For sure he's going to create demons. Maybe not now, maybe in an hour from now. Maybe two hours. But he's definitely going to create demons tonight. Why? His heart is empty. There's nothing there. He's wasting his life. And that's why when someone is wasting their life, he's telling you, you're putting that life on the line. Not that you're mamesh going to get hit by a truck that minute, chas v'shalom. But it's that you're creating those same demons that are going to torture you your whole life. And even if you go with such an extent of bitul Torah to such an extent that it actually does it. Rabbi Shimon bar Yochai says, people that actually are mevatel Torah, that are wasting their time, You're putting that life on the line. Not that you're mamash going to get hit by a truck that minute, chas v'shalom. But it's that you're creating those same demons that are going to torture you your whole life. And even if you go with such an extent of bitul Torah to such an extent that it actually does it. Rabbi Shimon Bar Yochai says, people that actually are mevatel Torah, that are wasting their time, It does say that they actually are bringing death into their lives.