The F E A R of Hurting Your Friend, Makes You his Hater
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Transcript
0:33The person is going to cry at first from the pain of realizing that his whole life is flashing before him, and he only has 12 months before he says goodbye to everyone. What will he do with these 12 months? What can he do? The doctor, being a very passionate and compassionate person, starts crying with him. Hugs him and tells him, you know, I really love you. You're my best patient. I really, really care about you. I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news. I really am. I really was hoping you'd be my patient for another 20 years. After the patient leaves, the doctor cries for another five or ten minutes. And he says, you know what? I'm not gonna do this anymore. I'm not gonna give people bad news anymore. Does he know his next patient arrives with the same terminal disease and only one year to live? And he says, you know what, my buddy? I told my buddy, I love him. He's been coming to my office for 20 years. We go to shul together, we hang out together, our kids are this, are that. I upset him. I can't believe it. You know what, I'm not gonna do it again. So, he tells the next patient, you're good. I...
2:00But I'm good. Everything's good. What about this thing growing out of my arm? No, it's nothing. It's just, it's a callus. It's nothing. It's good. It's an ingrown hair. It's an ingrown hair. It's not. It's going to go away. It's going to go away in time. Oh, really? My foot's falling off. Everything's okay. No, no. That just happens with age. It happens with age. Starts making up reasons, starts making it all hard. No, no, you're kadosh. You're perfect. Don't worry. You're good as you are. Hashem loves you as you are. Stay, don't change a thing. Stay attuned to each breath. The guy goes home, and he's happy. He hugs his wife, he hugs his kids, everything is good. See, you were all worried for nothing, and he goes back to his life. A year follows. The family of both deceased people see the doctor. One family thanks him, while the other one calls the cops and files a lawsuit against him. The one that files a lawsuit against him says to him, "We can't believe that..."
3:21You lied to us. We can't believe you told him that it was just nothing, that it was not a big deal, that Hashem didn't really care, and that He loved him as he is. We can't believe you lied to him. You said, "Yeah, but I don't want to hurt him. I don't want him to cry like my other friend." Yes, but if he had cried at first, he would have done something about it. He would have cried at first that now he has to change his life. Now he has to get a divorce because he's intermarried. Now he has to quit his job because he works on Shabbat. Now he has to change his life, and he has to watch his mouth. Now he has to change himself because he has to watch his middot. Now he has to change his clothes because he has to put clothes on. And it would have hurt. It would have been expensive. But it was over at some point, and he would have gotten used to it, and maybe even liked it. But you didn't even give him the chance. You told him nothing was wrong, so he just went about his life and continued going to work. He worked overtime because he wanted to save for some vacation that he was never going to see anyway because he died.
4:31And he never spent any time with his family. He never spent any time doing teshuva. And he never spent any time appreciating anything because he was so busy working. He was so busy living the false life he was living because he was convinced, like all of us, that he had at least another 80 years to go. So the last year that he had, you just stole it from him, which is the equivalent of stealing everything from him. Took all he had, you took all he had left. Your friend that cried, yeah, he cried at first. But at least in his last year, after he made the changes, he didn't go back to work anymore because he knew he didn't have much time left. So he used the time he had left doing things that are useful and meaningful to the world. Doing teshuva, learning Torah, spending time with family, and engaging in actions that are beneficial to the world. It hurts to do teshuva at first because it requires making adjustments. But I bet you that your family loves you now. Because now he's in Gan Eden, while the one you didn't tell the truth to is in Gehenom, and he's not coming out.
5:53No one loves the secular, the Reform, the Conservative, and the atheist more than the rebuker. No one. Because he's the only one who's happily going to tell you the truth even though he knows you're going to punch him in the face. Even though he knows you're not going to donate. Even though he knows it's going to hurt him actually. Financially, even though he knows it's going to hurt him emotionally when you make the right decisions against him and his family, and everything is about emet. He knows you're going to do it, but he loves you enough to tell you the truth because eventually we're all going to meet somewhere, and hopefully, we'll both be in the same place.
