The Pitfalls of EGO

0:00And also, it's in the Gemara, Gemara Masechet Sanhedrin, page 102, that Yeravam ben Nevat, who was one of the biggest Resha'im that we had in Am Yisrael, but who also knew a lot of Torah, and the merit of his Torah was big enough for Hashem to come to him Himself and say, "Listen, if you do Teshuva, you and I, and Ben Yishai" (Ben Yishai is David HaMelech) "will walk together in Gan Eden." And also, it's in the Gemara, Gemara Masechet Sanhedrin, page 102, it says that Yerovam ben Nevat, who was one of the biggest Resha'im that we had in Am Yisrael, but who also knew a lot of Torah, and the merit of his Torah was big enough for Hashem to come to him Himself and say, "Listen, if you do Teshuva, you and I, and Ben Yishai" (Ben Yishai is David HaMelech), "will walk together in Gan Eden." So the Midrash Me'am Loez says that when you refer to somebody, instead of their name, and Hashem is referring to someone instead of David, He refers to them as the son of Yishai, maybe it's disparaging. I can give you a couple of ideas regarding that. It's not necessarily, Chas V'shalom, disparaging David HaMelech, but rather to show two points. Number one, number one,

1:16HaKadosh Baruch Hu knows His creation, and He knows that Yeravam, his weapon of destruction, but rather weapon of self-destruction, was his ego. So if HaKadosh Baruch Hu would refer to David HaMelech as David HaMelech, and He's not referring to Yeravam as a Melech, Yeravam would be insulted. So, in essence, for the sake of helping Yeravam do teshuva, to please his ego, if you will, to soothe his ego, if you will, he referred to David as if he's lesser. The second thing is, if you notice, after HaKadosh Baruch Hu said to Yeravam ben Nevat, "You and I and Ben Yishai would walk in Gan Eden," Yeravam responds and he says, "Who's walking first?" and Hashem says, David ben Yishai is. But it doesn't make any sense. Why? Because if David was going to walk first, ahead of Yeruvam, it should say, "Me," meaning Hashem, and David ben Yishai, and you, would walk in Gan Eden. Which means that originally, if Yeruvam was going to do Teshuva, HaKadosh Baruch Hu was going to let him walk ahead of David HaMelech, in Gan Eden.

2:44But because Yerovam's ego was so big, he was the type of person who, when you gave him a compliment, would hear what you said and ask, "So, what did you say again? What did you say? What did you say again? Oh, what? Good chidush? What? My chidush? Oh, my chidush is good? Oh, you meant me? Oh, okay, okay. Oh, what? You mean me?" Oh, like those people. You know, sometimes you tell somebody, "Hey, chazak u'baruch." Oh, me? What did you say? What did you say? Me? Me? Oh, oh. They want you to repeat it. Why? Their ego is enormous. It's so big, it's not enough, one compliment. It's not enough. Yeravam ben Nevat's weapon of mass self-destruction was his ego. It's so bad that he said to Hashem, what did you say again? What did you say again? Who's going to go and get it? But Hashem said it already. You have to repeat it. too much. I told you you're going to walk first, but now you want me to repeat it? Okay, now you're second. You can still go to Gan Eden. Who's promising us Gan Eden? You can still go to Gan Eden and walk with HaKadosh Baruch Hu. But now, because of this disgusting, filthy ego, now you're going to be behind Ben Yishai. Now you're going to be behind him. And that was too much for him to handle. He says, no, if I'm not walking first...

4:02I'm not doing teshuva. And until this day, Yeravam ben Nevat is burning in Gehenom and he will never leave. says he is one of the people that has no share in the World to Come. And for that stupid ego of his, that filthy, despicable ego of his, he got a personalized invitation from Hashem. Which one of us here could say, "I got a personal invitation"? He got a personal invitation, but the ego that he had was so filthy that he said, "No, no, no." I’d rather not do teshuvah. Why? He never saw Gehinnom, but now that he sees Gehinnom, he can't get out. Why? There's no door, just the one. It's a dead-end street. Once you go into Gehinnom, there's no finish. The seventh level is just a no coming out, and that's what happened. Why? Because of ego. Ego is a very, very dangerous thing. And it's, like I said before, it's one of those things that's perhaps more dangerous than many other things because you could have an ego and not even realize that it's destroying you. The Gemara says that an ego is so detestable, so detestable that even a person's family hates him. When a person is an arrogant person, even his own wife and kids hate him.

5:23thinks they hate him because they only care about money. He thinks they hate him because they, uh, you know, they're not nice. No, no, they hate you because you have a big ego. And who's trying to teach you to do teshuvah? But no, no, they'll do what they need to do. Everybody else needs to do teshuvah, and this ego comes in different forms and sizes. The thing is, ego is one of those things where... It doesn't come in an obvious way. You have the obvious way, like a Donald Trump. Donald Trump, no one can say he's a humble person. It would be like a joke, like an oxymoron, putting Donald Trump and humility in the same sentence. He's an arrogant person; he's proud to be arrogant. And people elected him because he's arrogant, because the society is upside down, and they want arrogance. It's praiseworthy to be an arrogant person in today's warped society. So there's the obvious arrogance, which is pretty much a person that says, "I'm better, I'm better, I beat you here, I'm better here." That's the obvious one. But then, Rabbi Nachman of Breslov says there is the worst form of ego, the worst form of arrogance, which is the exact opposite, as far as its expression. It's a person that pretends to be humble. He pretends to be humble.

6:43He walks around, yeah, yeah, I don't know anything, I don't know anything. Yeah, no, yeah, who am I? In his heart, he thinks he's better than everybody else. He's pretending to be humble. Rabbi Nachman of Breslov says that's the worst type of arrogance. The worst type. But then there are the ones that are in between. The ones that are in between, that are like Yeravam ben Nevat, that want to... Do-over. You say, "Hey, listen, you did a good job." "What? What did I do? What? What did I do?" "I said you did a good job. I was right next to you. It was two feet from you. You didn't hear me?" "Oh, no, no, no. I heard, but I wasn't sure if you were talking to me. I did a good job. Oh, okay, okay. I did a good job." Hey, listen. You said I did something before. I forgot what you were saying. What did you say I did? My wife is picking me up. I'm confused. What did you say I did? I said you did a good job. Oh, I did? See, honey? I did a good job. That's ego. It's disgusting. It's gross. It makes Hashem want to vomit on you. Why? Because ego is considered an abomination in the eyes of Hashem.

7:54And many times people do not even know that they have an ego. They don't even know they have an ego. They don't even know that it's arrogance. Or they don't even think it's that bad, perhaps. But in reality, it's poison. It's poison. And a person needs to know that someone like Yerovam, who knew the entire Torah, knew a lot of Torah. The Gemara says he had 127 chidushim on every single subject in the Torah. You can't even imagine such a thing. What killed them? Ego. Same exact thing. Same exact thing. Many people that were Chachamim, heads of the Sanhedrin, are in Gehinnom to this day. Why? Ego. Ego. I want things my way. That's ego. Ego. That's ego. You don't want to eat your wife's food as it is; you have to, you know, tell her, "No, no, no, do it over. Why? It's not well done." It's like, "Well, it's not well done, gotta do it over, just throw this one out." Ego. You're going to get a divorce probably, or have a miserable marriage. Oh, son, what, only 95? Nah, come on. Yes, ego. What, a 95 grade is not good for your son?

9:09Why not? Why can't you encourage him? Maybe, Be'ezrat Hashem, next time he will do better. Why do you have to, you know, nothing is good enough for you? Ego. All of these things, Rabotai, come from ego. We're very excited to offer you the new Be'ezrat Hashem app 3.0. It's a newer, faster app, full of Torah and lots of Kedusha, by the shiurim that we do, myself, Rabbi Efraim, Rabbi Chaim. where you'll also have newer features where you're able to use the app while using other applications on your phone. You'll be able to share the shiurim directly from the app. You'll be able to donate online and support our kehillah and our Torah work that we're doing. And the most exciting feature is that you'll be able to actually ask questions directly on the app and get answers from the rabbis directly from the app. This is something unprecedented, and Baruch Hashem, we will be able to offer it. Thank you again for all of your support. Check it out. Make sure you have the kosher Torah that will re-energize your neshama each and every single day. Kol tuv u'b'hatzlacha.