The Sacrifice of a Jew (Congregation Shaarei Tzion - Sunny Isles, FL)

0:06We're here, we are a new shiur, we're starting. B'ezrat Hashem, we'll start coming in more often at Sha'arei Tzion. Rabbi Asher has been trying to set up a regular shiur here, b'ezrat Hashem. The last couple of weeks I told you guys it was moving. The Ba'alei HaMussar constantly remind us that the word Torah means hora'ah, means instructions. What does it mean, instructions? Okay, instructions. Instructions on how to eat, meaning what to eat, how much to eat, instructions on how to live, where to live, why you should live, not be like one of these crazy people that think that their life will be better if it was over. Instructions on getting married, how to be married, it’s an amazing mitzvah to get married. The problem is it was given to little children, and people don't know how to be married. They know how to get married as far as going to a chuppah

1:29Spending a ton of money on a wedding—people know how to do that. Making nice dinner plates, at a hundred, hundred fifty dollars a plate—people are very good at that. Spending money is very easy. But the real wedding begins after the wedding; the real marriage starts after. And a lot of people don't know how to be married. That's why, unfortunately, today in the Western world, there is over a 70% divorce rate. in the secular world. And even the religious world is starting to get affected by it. Baruch Hashem, nowhere near those types of numbers, but still. We see that there's a lot of confusion. Confusion in all houses—religious houses, non-religious houses. And the Ba'alei Mussar told us, you have the Torah, you have the Or, you have the instructions, why are you getting in so much trouble? Why are you getting in so much trouble to get to a divorce? Get in trouble with the law. Get in trouble with Hashem. And so on and so forth. Torah is the instructions. Why don't you follow the instructions? But what does it mean, be'emet, to follow the instructions? Now, how many times can you read the kosher laws? Okay, so you know, don't eat pig. You know, don't eat milk and meat. You know, don't eat the bugs that they call seafood.

2:55You know, the shellfish. How many times can you know it? Okay, she learned it once. She learned the instruction once. But still, you see people get in trouble with food all the time, whether it's because they eat non-kosher or because they ate too much. The point is that we have the instructions, but we're not following them because most of us don't really know what it means when the Torah says it's instructions. Instructions mean Torah is not something that you read on the side. Torah is not something you do, oh, maybe I'll learn a half hour today. Ah, you know what, maybe I'll learn an hour today. Get, you know, get something going. That's not Torah. Torah means orah, means instructions that you use at all times, 24 hours a day, seven days a week with never a break. Meaning that every single step of your life is supposed to be

3:57step that you're using the Torah to decide right or left if you're taking a step in your life. Without using the Torah, that means you still have not established the commitment to the Torah to say, "Oh, that's an instruction set." Because if you knew it was an instruction set, you would use it at all times. When today's toys they're very complicated. To give you all these pieces, you have to be like an engineer to put these toys together. But they give you great instruction sets. So, anytime we get our kids little toys, you follow the instruction set. They give you a little instruction: step one, step two, step three, step four, step five. It depends on how complicated the toy is. Usually, little kids have, you know, six to ten steps. Bigger kids, with more complicated toys, it could be 30 or 40 steps. I remember when I was a kid, we were building Legos; it could have 50 or 60 steps. The point being that at no point do you just say, after you've done half the steps, "You know what, I don't need this," and just throw it away.

5:14no point unless you're some type of, I don't know, toy genius or something, and you're an engineer in your mind. In reality, most normal people don't throw out the instruction set and say, "You know what, let me put this aside and do the rest by myself." Why? It defeats the point. You've used the instruction set this far; you have to continue using it. Why? Because if something goes wrong from this point, everything you've built until now is a waste. Ba'alei Mussar explained to us that when you're using the Torah as an instruction set, as an orah, that means you need to learn something from everything. You need to learn Mussar. You need to learn some type of life lesson from every single thing that you do. And you have to constantly compare it to the Torah, whether it's how your day went or how your day didn't go. Whether it's whether you were moving, or you signed a new deal, or anything and everything that you've done in your life, every day in the past, in the present, or what you plan to do in the future, a person that understands that the Torah is an instruction set,

6:23...must get to a point where they're literally thinking about Torah 24 hours a day. Not because they're constantly coming up with new chiddushim. Oh, you know what? Maybe the Tosafot meant this. But Rashi said something. No, no, you don't need to do that. That's good too. But that's not what we mean. What we mean by using the Torah as an instruction set is asking yourself, what does Hashem say about what I'm about to do? What's the Torah? What is the opinion of the Torah on what I want to do? I want to have a deal with this customer, and this customer looks like a fool. I can take advantage of him. What does the Torah think about that? Oh, the Torah doesn't think too well about that. Okay, so I'm not going to do it. I'm not going to do it. If a person thinks about Torah, he's not going to do it. Why? Because he knows the Torah says something about those people. Rav Palagi, alav haShalom, said, someone that steals from the goyim, not from the Jews. From the Jews we already know what problems he has. A person that steals from a Jew without returning the money has to come back in a gilgul.

7:37He can't go to Gan Eden, even if he fulfilled the entire Torah. He cannot go to enter Gan Eden if he stole from a Jew. But what about if he stole from a Goy? Can't you just steal from a Goy? There's a lot of them. There's 400 million of them in America. Most of them are not Jewish. You can easily steal from them. No? Are you allowed? He's not a Jew. Rabbi Chaim Palagi says, if you steal from a Goy, you're guaranteed to lose all your money. this life, guaranteed to lose all your money. In addition to the shame and all types of pain and suffering that will happen afterward, the point is that there's no permission. Now, if a person did not ask the Torah, "What do you think about me stealing from this guy?" most likely he stole. I've dealt with a lot of business people in my life, from all types of contractors, all types of investors, all types of, every type of profession pretty much, from marketing to building, whatever you want. I've dealt with, if not thousands, at least many, many hundreds of people. And I cannot tell you

8:47that I have found a single person. A single, one. I'm not even exaggerating. One person I can tell you. Him I vouch for. He's honest in business. He's honest. This guy, you give him a million-dollar deal, he'll do the whole thing. Many people are nice. Many people say nice things. But when it comes to money, in this generation, Hashem, Hashem... Many people have gone to the point where stealing is okay in their eyes. They don't even frown upon it. There are shows on television that celebrate the stories of thieves. They make movies about it. The average person thinks that not only is it okay to steal, but if you're not stealing, you're not gonna make it. If you're not cheating the system, you're not going to make it.

9:50You have to steal. You have to cheat in order to get ahead. Now, I'm only going to do this one time. This one deal. I'm going to do this one time with this one customer or this one government deal where really I'm not giving them anything. Or I'm selling the government a screw for $85,000, a screw that costs three cents. I'm going to sell it to them for $85,000. Since they don't pay attention, I'll even use it. No, if they're going to make some mistake, I don't have to pay them back. They even know all of the proofs from the Torah of why it's allowed to steal. It's not allowed, by the way. That's called a Naval B’reshut HaTorah, despicable with permission from the Torah. Not permission, but they make it permission. Meaning that if a person uses the Torah as an instruction, he's never gonna get to such a deep hole. Why? He's gonna see every single thing that you can do in this world, there's an opinion about it. There's an opinion about it in the Torah. And if you're not asking yourself, what is the Torah's opinion about this? You have not arrived at the Torah yet. You have not arrived at a point where you understand, ah, Torah is the instruction set. Moving is never fun.

11:17if you guys, anyone that's been following our work for at least the last couple of years, knows that last year we moved. Also, the year before that we moved. We make sure that we feel the exile almost every year. In the last five years, we've moved almost every year. and, uh, first house we moved to in Florida, the guy decided after a year he doesn't want to renew. Why? He wants to sell. By the way, it never sold. He ended up looking for a buyer for, I think, maybe six months, eight months, and then realized that no one wants to buy his house, at least not for the price he was asking for. Then we moved to another place for two years, but then, uh, we realized we don't like the community because of the well-known story that the rabbi... the kehillah over there wanted to bring a Christian missionary to give chizuk to the Jews. When the head rabbi of a kehillah wants to bring a Christian, it's time to leave. By the way, it's happening again, only this time it's in London. In London, it's happening right now. There's a head rabbi that's the head rabbi of London in general; he is a big promoter of Christianity. But now, one of the rabbis that has a big kehillah over there...

12:34is having an event, I believe, in a week or so, or maybe it just happened this past week, I'm not sure. I think it's happening in a few days. Hopefully, it doesn't, but he's bringing a well-known pastor to give chizuk to the Jews on Shabbat. So, one of my students in Manchester sends him an email and says, "Don't you think it's the worst thing in the world, according to the Torah's opinion, to bring such a person to a Jewish kehillah?" So he showed me the response, showed me the email response of this rabbi, or at least he calls himself a rabbi. And he says, well, it may be a little controversial, but he's a very interesting fellow. This will make it a very interesting lecture. This is the response that he gave him in so many words. Mimash, you start thinking like this person, maybe there's like a mouse in his head instead of a brain. Like, how do you survive? How do you put your pants on one leg at a time and figure that out? You can't figure out that you cannot bring a Christian pastor to a Jewish kehillah. You can't figure that out. It's a big chiddush. But it's happening. So anyway, that was the house we lived in for a couple of years in Boca, and then we moved here to Hollywood.

13:56Then again, the same thing happened. Apparently, real estate prices in Florida are skyrocketing again, like they did years ago before the previous crash. So, a lot of people want to sell, which makes it very annoying for renters. So again, the landlord wanted to sell. The only problem is that finding a house is not so easy. And it's not so easy, not because there are no houses to rent. It's not so easy because a lot of people don't use the Torah. So we had a lot to learn from this experience. One thing that you have to learn if you're ever gonna move is to expect your stuff to break. I'm not telling you this, I'm not wishing you bad. I'm just telling you, if you're going to move, don't get all antsy and cry over stuff that breaks. Expect it to break from, you know, it's gonna break. Your stuff's gonna break. Your stuff's gonna get scratched. Your stuff, it's gonna happen. And it's not that it's not on purpose. Don't get all antsy and cry over stuff that breaks. Expect it to break, you know, it's gonna break. Your stuff's gonna break. Your stuff's gonna get scratched. Your stuff, it's gonna happen. And it's not that it's not on purpose.

15:04...thinking, oh no, I'll make a mistake now. I used to think in the first 10 moves that I made in my life, "No, no, he slipped. He slipped, and that's why the whole closet broke. He slipped, and that's why the glass and this happened." And you keep making excuses for why it's breaking. No, no, I've moved many times—offices, houses—many, many times in my life. Don't make the mistake of thinking it's not on purpose. It's the opposite; it's on purpose. It's a purpose... Lama, it's on purpose. Why would somebody want to break your stuff on purpose? They don't even know you. And if anything, they're scared. No, you're not going to pay them. You're going to make them pay for it. They're not scared of that, by the way. If anything, they're going to make you pay for more. Anyone that ever moved knows that as soon as the moving company arrives, this pitch line goes like this: Oh, wow, this is much bigger than I thought. What do you mean? I told you it's three bedrooms. What did you think? It's the White House? Well, it's three bedrooms. I told you three bedrooms. You counted everything. It's still three bedrooms. Nothing has happened from yesterday to today. Not that I know. It didn't become the White House. No, it's much bigger. What do you mean? You were here. You checked it. You analyzed it. No, somebody else was here. I don't think she saw this room. What do you mean? There are three rooms. This is one of the three. How could she miss it?

16:29Always a new pitch line. "It's much bigger, it's much bigger, it's much, it's much, much, much, much, much." Why? They want more money. That's the first pitch line. The second pitch line is about two to three hours into the job. They start getting frustrated. Why? They don't feel like working anymore. They don't feel like working anymore, so they start getting rough with your stuff. Maybe you'll kick them out and just pay them most of the money. And that's their intention. And you start seeing the relationship deteriorate worse and worse from the minute you started to the minute you end. At the end of the move, it's like you say, I finished the move. Forget about the stuff. It's broken, not broken. Why? Why does this happen? The reason is because people simply do not have respect for other people. People do not have any type of respect for other people's stuff. other people's space, other people in general. The Gemara in Masechet Shabbat says, a person does not see any wrong in himself; he only sees the wrong in everybody else. So he's thinking, ah, this guy is making me work really hard. I'm not making you do anything. You chose to come to work. If you didn't want to go to work,

17:57sleep at home and don’t wake up for all I care. Who asked you to come? I just asked for somebody to move my house and I’m paying you. You’re not doing me a favor. Oh, this is heavy? Okay, so get some help. What do you want from my life? Oh, life is hard? Yeah, welcome to the club. People complain about nonsense, thinking that they’re all alone, that their life is the only one that’s hard, and then they take out their frustrations on other people. The problem is that if this was happening only in the non-Jewish world, you could easily explain it. You could say, ah, they don't have Torah. They don't have an instruction set. What do you expect? The problem is that this is happening, if not to the same level, it may actually even be worse inside the religious Jewish world today.

19:00And the reason for that is because we are very judgmental of each other. When we talk about rebuke, the mitzvah that you must rebuke your brother, the Gemara in Masechet Shabbat talks about it in several different places. several places in the Torah talk about the obligation to rebuke each other, meaning if you see your brother violating one of the mitzvot in the Torah, you tell him, "Listen, you're not allowed to do such and such." We have talked about this countless times in lectures, but unfortunately, our own limitations and our own limited abilities... I've confused many people sometimes, where people think that if you're rebuking somebody, you're telling them that they should fix something, that means you're judging them, which is 100% wrong. It's actually as far from the truth as can possibly be.

20:15When you're actually rebuking somebody, when you see somebody that's violating Shabbat, you see somebody that's married to a non-Jew, you see somebody that's eating non-kosher, you see somebody that's violating the Torah in any way, shape, or form, and you say something to them, you're not judging them. If you're judging them, then you're committing a sin. you're judging the other person, you're committing a sin. Why? Because by judging them, you're leading yourself to hate them. In essence, when you tell them that they're doing something wrong, you're doing it in a way that feels like yelling at them, judging them, and putting it in a negative perspective. You're using the Torah in an inappropriate way. It's like using a hammer to make an egg sandwich. It doesn't work. you must rebuke your brother doesn't mean judging your brother; it means you have to help your brother by telling him that he's going in the wrong direction. So first and foremost, you need to know the direction. Don't tell your brother, "Hey, listen, you're going in the wrong direction," if you yourself don't know anything.

21:20This I love. I have all these people that saw a couple of my lectures, and they like what we say, Baruch Hashem, and they started doing teshuva, but they forgot the part that they're also obligated to learn. So every day I have at least five or six people say, "Oh yeah, this Rasha, this Rasha," they show me all the Reshaim in the world, they say to me like I'm the police officer of Judaism. Oh, look, this rabbi is a Rasha and this guy is a Rasha, rabbi is a Rasha, Rasha, Rasha. And I say, why are there so many Reshaim and the rabbi is a Rasha? Why? And nine out of ten times they're not. Nine out of ten times they're fine. People are fine. It's actually they're wrong. They're wrong. Why are they wrong? Because they don't know the halacha. So people, they just like to call people Reshaim. They just like to call people wicked. So you think that everybody's wicked because they're doing something that you don't understand. So therefore they must be wicked. The reality is it's the opposite. "You must rebuke your brother" means that you're trying to help your brother go back in the right direction, not yell at your brother, scream at your brother, abuse your brother, or talk against your brother.

22:43That's not what we do. People keep telling me, "Oh, yeah, yeah, you know, this kehillah, everybody's rasha." Okay, so why are you still there? If everybody's wicked, why are you still there? "Oh, I don't have any place else to go." If everybody's wicked, you're not allowed to go there. Which means if you're going there, it's not that bad. Oh, another person sent me something not too long ago. He says, "Oh, listen, is this Rabbi kosher? I just signed up for his course." And I want to know if he's kosher. Wait. If you really cared if he's kosher or not, you would have asked before you signed up and paid $10,000. Before you signed up and paid $10,000, you would have asked, is he kosher or not kosher? The fact that you're asking after the fact means you're not kosher. There's something wrong with you. The rabbi is perfectly fine. I don't even have to know who he is. Why? Because he didn't do anything yet. he didn't do anything yet. After I gave him the benefit of the doubt, automatically, he didn’t show me or give me any reason to think he's a rasha. But that's the thing. People like to call out other people. They like to fight, they like to argue, and they like to insult other people. Unfortunately, this type of behavior is not just in the Baal Teshuva world, it's in the frum world. I have talmidei yeshiva contact me constantly, telling me that

24:07Just making it through the day in their yeshiva is a miracle. Why? There's not a day that goes by that they don't get insulted by somebody else. Why? Oh, maybe he didn't wear a stylish tie. Oh, what is that, J.C. Penney tie? Where's your father? Homeless? You're homeless? You want to give some money to maybe get a better tie? Why? It's only $15. People talk about the most nonsensical things in the world. Oh, why'd you shave? Why'd you shave? What, you're not Jewish? You're not Jewish? Why'd you shave? What's wrong with shaving? Why can't I shave? I didn't shave with a razor. I just buzzed a little. I don't want a big beard. I don't want to look like the Baal Shem Tov. I want to look, I don't know, groomed. What's the problem? You're like half a Jew. You're like a convert. Like a convert. You're not really a Jew. What do you mean? I study 12 hours a day. I study 12 hours a day Torah. I'm the best guy in Yeshiva. What are you talking about? Yeah, you're like Yitro at Mount Sinai. You weren't really sure if you were on our team or off our team. We're not really sure. Why? Because he shaved.

25:17the suit or the kippah is this way or that way, all types of nonsense that people let their brain be consumed with, and they forget the ikar (main point), which is to learn Torah, learn Torah, fulfill it. This is everywhere. People have a very difficult time dealing with someone's opinion that doesn't agree with their opinion. This, by far, is the biggest problem. Anyone that spent a day, an hour, learning Gemara, which is the foundation of our Torah, knows that without the Gemara, we wouldn't know right from left in any part of the Torah. People think, oh yeah, the five books of Moses, that's the ikar. Yes, it's the source of everything. The five books of Moses are the source of everything. But without the Gemara, we wouldn't know what the five books of Moses say. We wouldn't know what it says, we wouldn't know right, we wouldn't know left, we wouldn't know anything. We would think Moshe is somebody else. We wouldn't even know how to say his name. We wouldn't know anything.

26:29I'm serious. I'm not exaggerating. Without the Gemara, without the foundation of the Oral Torah, the five books of Moses might as well be in Chinese. We wouldn't understand anything. And anyone that spent just an hour, an hour of their life learning Gemara knows that in practically every single paragraph, countless times on every single page, There are differences of opinion. That's the entire Torah. It's constantly differences of opinion that are mentioned. Rav Ashi made sure to mention all of the opinions, even the ones that we knew for sure were wrong. They tell you, "We know this is the reason why this is wrong." They tell you, "Listen, I don't just want to know what's right. No, I want to know what's wrong too." And it tells you, "No, no, we're mentioning this wrong opinion so you know why it's wrong."

27:45Because if we didn't mention that this is wrong, you would think that maybe this is right only because that's not wrong. And they tell you exactly, mamash, all of the different possibilities of thought you could arrive at, they tell you in the Torah. But it's countless opinions. And sometimes you can go through three, four, five, six, ten dapim of the Gemara, going back and forth, Right, left, up, down, sideways, in the middle. At the end, Rabban Gamliel says, no. That's it. Completely opposite of everybody else, but he's right. Why? Nasi Yisrael is the president of Am Yisrael. His opinion is halacha. So why didn't you tell me in the beginning? Because we wanted to teach you how to think like a Jew. If you want the answer, with no reason, no nothing, go to a different religion. To be a Jew, you have to learn how to think. You have to learn why the wrong is wrong, not that it's just wrong. The problem is that many people, usually people that do not learn Torah, or at least not very much of it,

29:04do not like to be told that they're wrong. In fact, if you tell them that they're wrong about something, you turn into Amalek, Hitler, Haman, Nebuchadnezzar, Pharaoh, and everyone in between's son. It's unbelievable how offended people get when you tell them that they're wrong. They take it so personally, like you killed their entire family. What did I do? I told you your opinion does not agree with the Torah. What do you want? You asked me for a reason, right? If you wanted somebody to agree with you, ask your husband. Ask your wife. Ask your best friend. Ask the wall. The wall may answer back. Who knows these days? Ask Siri on your phone. Siri loves everybody. But you asked me because you wanted to know what the Torah is. What does the Torah say, right? Okay, so I'm going to check for you. Oh, the Torah says you're wrong.

30:06What do you want from my life? Oh, you disgust me. Tell me. It's one particular person. And it's usually the ones that you spend an enormous amount of time with. Anyone that sends me emails knows that sometimes it takes me two to three months to respond because I have a lot of emails. You deal with three, four, five hundred messages a day. It's tough to answer every email, so sometimes there are certain emails that take 3, 4, 5 months to respond to, especially the long ones, and especially the ones that are not urgent. And you're never going to get a response if you ask me how I'm doing. Usually, you're not going to get a response at all. Why? Just ask me the question. There's no time. How am I doing? Fine. Fine. Oh, how was your weekend? Fine. Like, what? What are you trying to get when you become friends? When you ask me what my weekend was like? What did I do with my kids? Whether I played with them or not? Ask me the question you want. People are like, how are you doing? When we become friends via email? Ask the question. Whatever your question is, ask. No, I don't get offended if you just ask me the question.

31:29So sometimes it takes a while to respond to messages. But sometimes you get immediate responses. Why? Because I see, always because of Hashem, that this email needs to be responded to right away. Whatever the reason is. Different reasons, different times. So sometimes, even if the email will take hours of my time to respond to, either I have to look up sources, or it just takes a long megillah that I have to write to respond, whatever it is, I respond. And usually the ones that you invest the most amount of time in, whether it's through email, or conversations, or meetings, or whatever it is, unfortunately, Rabotai Yekarim, they end up being like the lion in Tevat Noach. The lion in Tevat Noach was one of two lions left in the world. So it was the female lion and the male lion. When Noach, the Midrash Rabbah says, when Noach was late, was late, it's not that he didn't give him food. He was just late one day. He was late one day giving him the food during the whole year that they were there in the Teivah, in the ark.

32:51The lion didn't take it so well. As soon as Noach got close to him, the lion took his arm and PAH! Gave Noach a tzapcha. He suffered the whole year he was in the Teivah. It says, Torah says, Noach suffered agonizing pain the whole year because of this lion. So, meaning this is not even like at the end of the trip; maybe he's frustrated already, the lion's frustrated already, being enclosed in a small room for a year. No, this is like within the first week. First week, they're in the Teivah. Everybody else is patiently waiting for their food. They know they need Noach to feed them. They have actual gratitude for Noach. The gratitude for Noach. Noach, listen, if it wasn't for you, we'd all die. As a matter of fact, the Midrash says something wonderful. The Midrash says, one of the birds, one of the birds saw Noach and says, Noach, don't feed me today. It's okay. Noach knew the language of the animals. He spoke to them.

33:57He says, how come you don't want me to feed you? Why don't you want to be on a diet? What's wrong? No, no, I see how hard you're working. No, I don't want to put any more, you know, any more pain on you. You're working so hard. You feed this one. You feed that one. You feed everybody all day. You haven't slept in weeks. Let me not be the reason. You don't feed me today. Don't feed me. I'm fine. I'll survive. Don't worry. I know. I know myself. I'll survive. I can fast for a few days. I'm fine. I'll be okay. B'emet, the Midrash says it. Noach was so happy and fulfilled with this little bird. This bird is b'mesirut nefesh. Sacrifice from a bird. He says, you bird, because you cared about my pain, because you cared about my life, may Hashem bless you to live forever. And the Midrash says, it happened.

34:57They call this bird the Phoenix. They call this bird the Phoenix and every thousand years Hashem burns it because it lives. Hashem burns it to leave a little speck of it, a little cell of it, and it regenerates and comes back to life. It's still alive somewhere in the world. After I read this Midrash, actually saw something on the internet that there's a place in China where they have these birds that they call the phoenix. I don't think it's the real one, but it's a beautiful, beautiful bird. But I know also that when I was My past days and I remember there used to be comic books and stories about the Phoenix living forever and so on. It's all a fairy tale. But again, we see all stories, if they're any good, they have to come from the Torah. They have to come from the Torah from three thousand three hundred years ago. So anyway, the lion did not like not getting his food on time, and he gave Noach a real big hit and

36:06And one of the reasons the sages say is that the lion was simply an ungrateful person, an ungrateful animal. But what do you expect? He's a lion. He doesn't have mussar. He doesn't have Torah. The unfortunate part is that we're supposed to learn from the lion how not to behave. But many people learn from the lion how to behave. And they act just like the lion. And you helped them, and you helped them, and you helped them. And instead of returning, you know what? Don't even return good. Just don't return anything. Don't do anything. At least don't return bad. Don't do anything. Don't say thank you. Don't, nothing. Just don't do anything bad. We can't do it. We can't do it. Why? You disagreed with me. And you see that when people get an answer they don't like, they take it in the most offensive way possible. They turn you into an enemy. And I don't even know how many times this has happened to me. And I'm sure countless times it has happened to many other rabbis that are in this kiruv world and many people that are in the world of helping people in general. We not only don't know how to say thank you.

37:27We return bad. One of the reasons is because we do not see any obligation in ourselves. We see that everybody owes us something. We are an entitled people. We feel like if you're giving me something, that's because you owe it to me, not because you're doing me a favor. And it's a very serious disease to have. It's a very serious problem to have because it means that you are as far from the Torah's opinion as you are from Pluto. Because the Torah teaches us that you have to look at every single ounce of good that you've received from every corner of the world and be grateful for it. Why? The Torah says if a person does not know how to say thank you, does not know how to show gratitude to his fellow, eventually he's not going to know how to say thank you to Hashem. that you have to look at every single ounce of good that you've received from every corner of the world and be grateful for it. Why? The Torah says if a person does not know how to say thank you, does not know how to show gratitude to his fellow, eventually he's not going to know how to say thank you to Hashem.

38:32you don't know if you think that your parents owe you something. They owe you a car when you're 17 or 18. They owe you food. They owe you anything in the world. They even owe you a smile. If you think anyone in the world owes you anything, you, my friend, have a very, very deep-rooted problem of ungratefulness because you're owed nothing. Not even your life is yours. Not even your life. Who owes you your life? Can anyone here raise their hand and say, you know what? Hashem owes me my life. The least He should give me is my life. Who says that? Who thinks that Hashem owes them anything? What are you going to say? Oh, He put me here, so He owes it to me. No, absolutely not. He puts you here to serve Him. The fact that you're not serving Him, you'll get punished for it. If you serve Him, you get rewarded for it. Strictly business. You're owed nothing, and anyone that thinks that anyone owes them anything is already the opposite of Da'as Torah. These are some of the things that you see and you learn. You see it from the goyim and how they behave, you see from how Am Yisrael behaves, and you see that looks can be very deceiving.

39:52You see a person with a long beard and a hat acting like an animal, and you're confused. You see a woman with a kisui rosh, with a scarf on her head, but she's acting more prutza, more immodest than the goyim. You're confused. You see the yeshiva boys, yeshiva girls, acting worse than the public school kids. You're confused. There's nothing confusing about it. There's a Torah. This is the Torah. Not everyone uses it. Simple. If you're judging the person by the way they look, you're making a mistake. It's your fault, not theirs. Why? They just like the clothes. They like the beard. They like the hat. Doesn't mean they're going to use the Torah. It doesn't give you the right to violate it. It also doesn't give you the right to complain about it. Because unlike what the goyim say, which is, oh, you know, maybe you should speak about it and get it off your chest, maybe it'll help you. If you're speaking about it for the purpose of teaching, for the purpose of learning from it, for the purpose of overcoming it, doing something good with it, yes. But if you're simply speaking to get it off your chest like the goyim do, no, it's not allowed.

41:19Why? It'll just fuel your anger. It'll just fuel your frustration. Talking about your frustrations is not going to solve them. You can teach, you can use it—oh, see this happened over here. This is what I learned from it. This is why I learned from it. So I'll give you a couple of examples. We hired three guys... to help us move, and one of the guys simply did not stop complaining. Like, probably his first word was a complaint in the world. He did not stop complaining from the minute he got into the truck. I don't know why he came. He didn't stop complaining, and he's the one that caused most of the damage, broke stuff, and so on. It's all good. But the point is, why? Why? Little by little, you start noticing, oh, this person is frustrated with their life. And they see your life through rose-colored glasses. They think that your life is easy because you may have something nicer than theirs. You may live somewhere that they want to live, and so on and so forth. They think, oh, you have it easy. So it creates jealousy. It creates animosity. It creates frustration. So what do they want to do? They want to hurt you.

42:42Why? It bothers them that you're doing good and they're not. Even though you may not be doing good, but in their eyes you are. So you can literally learn from a little Yishma'eli, a little guy that doesn't know right from left; you can learn mussar. Why? Don't be a jealous person. Why? If you're jealous, you simply are considered dead. Any person, by the way, should know that the Torah says any person that has jealousy in their heart does not get resurrected with the dead. does not get resurrected, meaning that if we leave right now, we're in a shiur Torah. We're going to have more shiurei Torah. We're going to learn more and more Torah. If at some point you do not get to a point where you're not even looking at the grass, whether it's green or not green on the other side, you're simply not looking at your neighbor's grass. You're simply not looking at anybody else's life. You couldn't care less. unless you're happy for them. If we don't get to a point where jealousy is no longer part of our heart, we do not get resurrected from the dead. And in fact, we're already considered dead in this world. Why? Because a jealous person cannot even enjoy the good they have. They're too busy being miserable about the good they don't have. You can give the guy a million dollars,

44:08he's upset that somebody else has to. You can give the guy the best wife in the world, but he's upset. She's not like, she doesn't cook like this other guy's wife, or she doesn't have hair like this other guy's wife, or she doesn't wear this. He's upset about something. This is why the Torah reminds us day after day in our tefillah... Don't follow your heart and your eyes. It's not just for immodesty reasons. It's also for resentment reasons. If you follow the jealousy in your heart because you looked at it, you're already dead in this world. You cannot be a happy person and jealous at the same time. It's impossible. It's impossible to be happy and jealous at the same time. Impossible. If you're talking about other people's money on a regular basis, you have a very, very deep-rooted jealousy problem. Why? Because you're telling God that what He gave them really should have been given to you. The sages explain, the Vilna Gaon says this is kefirah. It's kefirah. It's 100% kefirah. It's 100% considering you're a kofer. You're a kofer b'Torah. You're telling Hashem you made a mistake.

45:30No, Hashem, you know that Ferrari you gave the guy? No. No, Hashem, I prayed netz today. No, Hashem. What about me? You tell Hashem you made a mistake. It's kefirah. It's a very serious problem. You see a neighbor's house three times the size of yours? He must be stealing. He must be stealing. What is this guy? How does this guy afford this house? How does this guy afford this house? I don't understand. What is he doing? Nah, he's probably like stealing, manipulating. He's probably got a Ponzi scheme on his side. His wife probably has something. Like, it's just... Why? The jealousy is eating you up. It's eating you up. It's eating you up. And it's turning into a rasha with the kippah. No different than the guy who was complaining all day and all night, trying to help us move and breaking our stuff along the way. Why? He was so angry about the stuff that he was moving, that he forgot that he has stuff too. He forgot he has stuff also, but nobody's telling him, "Hey, listen, I want your stuff." Nobody tells him that. No, because he's too busy looking at your stuff. The other thing is, Rabotai, unfortunately, is that we see

46:44person does not use the Torah as an instruction set. He could jump to conclusions; he could turn into an enemy with his best friend, with his brother, for no good reason. When you judge people by, you know, judging a book by its cover, you judge people the same way and simply by looking at them, simply by the way they wear their kippah or their beard or their hat or their wig or their kisui rosh, whatever it is, you simply judge them that way. You, my friend, are much worse than they could be, even if you were right about your judgment. Think about this. This is deep. Think about this again. You're looking at another person. You don't know them. They haven't said a word to you. Or even if they said, but you don't really know them for sure. I mean, it takes a while to get to know somebody. You decide, you are judging this person. He said this, he said that. Whatever you decide it is, the worst thing that you can imagine that he can do or she can do, you're worse for judging them. Worse. Why? There’s a fact. Maybe you're right, maybe you're wrong. You're for sure wrong.

48:08That's 50-50. You may be right, you may be wrong. You're for sure wrong. You're 100% wrong. There is never going to be a situation where you're right judging them. Never. So what is this whole mitzvah that we say in the Torah, that you must rebuke your brother? Rebuking your brother does not mean judging him. It means helping him. It means telling him, hey, hey, hey, buddy, you just made a right. No, no. It's left. Let me take you. Let me take you. I'll show you. Let me show you. It's left. No, no. Buddy, you're driving on Shabbat. It's Shabbat. Shabbat. Shabbat. You're not allowed to drive on Shabbat. No. Come on, I'll show you. Come to my house. You don't start yelling and throwing rocks at people because, well, you're some, you're a Baal Teshuva all of a sudden. You did Teshuva last month. You can't judge people like this. You create haters. People start hating Judaism. They start hating Torah. You can't start judging people. You have to tell them they're wrong. I'm not saying, you know, you have to tell them they're wrong. But judging people, Rabotai, that's not what we meant. It's a mistake. That's what I'm talking about. It's my mistake. Maybe I didn't emphasize enough. People have become so judgmental. It's unbelievable. One person decided...

49:30She doesn’t want to rent me the house. Why doesn’t she want to rent me the house? After she took the money. She took the money. We went through the whole application. Two weeks of my life she wasted. Went through the application, check, this, check. Talked to people, references, blood type, whatever they wanted. How long my nails are maybe. You know, my eyelashes. Who knows what they wanted, these people. Two weeks of my life. Want money, they got the money. Everything they got. Three weeks before, three days, three days before the move. Supposed to move on Sunday. Three days before the move? No, we don't want to do it. We don't want to do it. What do you mean you don't want to do it? We're packed. The house is packed. What do you mean you don't want to do it? Let me call her. Let me just call her and see what's wrong. Something's wrong. Is she going to be offended? I don't know. I don't know this person. Call the person. Oh, listen, I'm not really sure what happened. I don't want to talk to you. Click. It's like I became an enemy. I became Haman, Nebuchadnezzar, Pharaoh—everyone in between. What happened? We figured it out.

50:39Maybe they saw a couple of our videos. They didn't like the way we talked about maybe their Rebbe. Maybe they didn't like the way we talked about wigs. Maybe they didn't like the way we talked about, who knows, some guy got upset at me because I said, which Torah says. Torah says, Hashem says, to the Navi, to Navi Michah, He said, I hate it. One guy wrote on the internet, you're a Kofer. He tells me I'm a Kofer. I'm a Kofer. Why? You're saying that Esav was a Rasha. He got upset. I don't know. People are crazy today. But the point is, Avotai, why can't you talk to me? If we have a difference of opinion, okay, so we disagree. Why can't we disagree? What's the problem with disagreeing? Why do you take it so offensively if I disagree with you? Anyway, especially when it's not my opinion. Even if it's: "What's the problem? I like white, you like black. Okay, enjoy your black. What do you want from my life? Whatever you want. Okay, like, okay, it's my opinion. You don't like it, throw it in the garbage like you do with used food or something. What do you want from my life?" But people cannot take it. People cannot take disagreement when it comes to Torah. When it comes to everything else, they don't care.

52:04comes to everything else, they don't really care. You could tell them, "Listen, I think your mom is too fat. She shouldn't really leave the house." "Oh, really? I'll tell her something." You know, "Your kids, I don't think you send them to the right school. I think that school is for mentally challenged people. I think you should send them to a better school." "Oh, you know what? I think you know what you're talking about. You sound like a scholar to me. You sound like you know schools. How many kids do you have?" "None." "Okay, perfect. You know schools then. You have kids and know schools." I'll solicit you. They take people's advice on everything. Come to them with Torah, Da'at Torah, Rasha, Nebuchadnezzar, Haman. What happened? What happened? Why? I give you Torah. It's what it says. Wait for my life. Why? Ego. Ego gets in the way. Everyone has their own chassidut. Everyone has their own way and their own this. And everyone else that does the opposite or different is a Rasha. This, Rabotai HaKedoshim, is why the Gemara says, a generation that does not have the Beit HaMikdash built is a generation that is destroying it as we speak. Meaning, if there was a Beit HaMikdash right now, we would be destroying it. Why? Because we think everyone except ourselves is wrong. Everyone's wrong. Oh, she's wearing this? Oh, she's wrong. I hate her. She's a Haman.

53:28She's Izevel from the Torah. Why? She comes from a different Chassidut. She's still a Jew. She has different customs. What's the problem? And this has happened constantly when we mention certain things. For example, one of the things we've mentioned is the issue of wigs. Obviously, we talk more about wigs than anyone else publicly speaking out there, and how there's a very serious connection to Avodah Zarah with wigs. And people that misunderstand the message think that if I see a woman that has a wig, I start throwing rocks at her or something. What's the matter with you? I'm just telling you there's a problem. You want to wear a wig? Wear a wig. What do I care? I'm just telling you there's a problem with it. You want to take the risk? Enjoy. You want to take the risk of violating Shabbat? Have fun. And that's one of the things that people simply don't consider. They don't take it into account. Nobody ever thinks, what do you get out of it?

54:36If someone wants to be popular, then you would do what most rabbis do, which is tell you you're all tzaddikim, everything you do is perfect, you're perfect in your own way, you don't have to keep anything, you keep everything, it's good, you don't keep everything, it's good, everything is good, everything is good, good, good, just make the check payable to XYZ Incorporated. If you want to be popular, you just tell everybody he's good. But this is not a popularity contest. The prophets did not try to earn fans. The prophets came to Am Yisrael and told them that they were wrong. Why? Because that's the job of a Jew. That's the job of a Jew. It's not just the job of a prophet. It's the job of a Jew to tell you if they see you doing wrong. They see you standing on the train tracks. Their job is to tell you, "Buddy, you're on the train tracks. Eventually, the train's going to come. And if you're still on it, it's going to hit you." It's not coming from me; I'm not judging you. I don't even know why you're on the train tracks to begin with, and I couldn't care less. I'm just telling you, in case you didn't notice, you're on the train tracks. Train tracks are meant for trains, not people. So if you're standing there and the train happens to come while you're standing, the meeting is not going to be a very long-lasting meeting. But people can take it. And the reason why is because we let our ego get in the way.

56:00We do not let an opinion that's not our own enter our minds, enter our life. This is happening everywhere, Abba Tay. So when we say that Torah is an instruction set, we need to remind ourselves an instruction set is something you do not put to the side. Instruction set is not something that you just use for a few minutes and then say, "You know what, let me wing it for the rest of the time." An instruction set is something that you do and use at all times without a break. If you are using the instruction set only when it's convenient for you, you have a very serious problem. There's one woman that calls herself a rebbetzin and and she does a lot of things that seem good. She has a hafrashat challah almost every day somewhere, gets women to come make challah, and then somebody gives them some divrei Torah. The looks of everything sound great. But as she became more and more popular, she wanted to start bringing men too. Now, since men are not going to come to hafrashat challah, she said, you know what, let's have a concert.

57:22so she has concerts with secular singers, and she's on stage with the secular singers blowing the shofar. This is insanity. But this is a woman, five layers covered from head to toe, yet she is on stage because she thinks she's doing good. Why? Because she forgot to use the Torah; she used her mind instead. The same thing goes for women that want to be in any type of entertainment. They have to understand that to be in entertainment as a woman, as a Jewish woman, is very, very difficult. Why? You cannot be popular. If you're a woman and you're in entertainment, you want to sing, you want to dance, you want to play some type of piano or something. cannot be too popular. Why? Because once you get to a point where you become the center of attention of men, it's a new modesty issue. This is the reason if a woman wants to sing, she can never become a very famous singer and go on the internet. Even if she's not famous, she can't go on the internet. Why? Men will watch it, and if they see the way you look and they hear your voice, it's a stumbling block. You're a partner to it. It's a problem to have.

58:46So that means that your mesirut nefesh, your self-sacrifice, could potentially be giving up something that's very dear to you. Now, anyone that wants to be a kosher Jew needs to learn this part. What is mesirut nefesh? What is required? So far, we've learned there's a lot of problems. There's a lot of problems in the Jewish world, in the secular world, and so on. So what makes a Jew a Jew? Sometimes you come to a person and tell them, "Listen, you have to keep such-and-such. You know, you can't drive on Shabbat." "Oh, no, no. I'm not religious. I'm not religious. A lot of tinok shenishba, a lot of people like me." As if you don't have the responsibility just because you're not religious. Most people think that if you're not religious, therefore you don't have to keep. So Rabbi Ephraim says, it's fine. You don't have to be religious, but you still have to keep Shabbat. "No, no, no, but I'm not religious. I'm not religious." Fine. I'm not religious either. But you still have to keep Shabbat, though. You can stay not religious, but you still have to keep Shabbat. Why? Because you're a Jew. It has nothing to do with being religious. It has to do with you being a Jew. That's what makes you a Jew.

1:00:14A woman sent me a message yesterday saying that religious people are despicable thieves and ugly and gross and all types of wonderful comments. And we are the reason why other people hate us, other nations hate us because of religious people. I get all the compliments, by the way. Baruch Hashem, I do get compliments, but I'm just telling you guys stuff that's more interesting to you. If I tell you everybody tells me I'm a tzadik and all that stuff, it's not interesting to you. It sounds like I have a big head. I already have a big head. I don't need you guys to make it bigger. Anyway, the woman tells me that religious people are terrible, all these wonderful, horrible things. She says people hate religious people because they're such and such. And I find it very, very peculiar that secular people actually think this. Secular people actually think that the world hates Jews because of religious Jews. It's the actual opposite. Religious Jews, in general, if they're really religious, don't even associate with secular people. They don't associate with goyim. In general, they don't associate with them at all. So there's not even room to hate them. that the world hates Jews because of religious Jews. It's the actual opposite. Religious Jews, in general, if they're really religious, don't even associate with secular people. They don't associate with goyim. In general, they don't associate with them at all. So there's not even room to hate them.

1:01:35If you look at history, whether you want to look at the Holocaust, you want to look at the pogroms, the inquisitions, the Beit HaMikdash, first one, second one, who are the problem? The secular people. Who are the ones that the goyim wanted to kill? The secular people. In fact, even during the Spanish Inquisition, the head woman, the head woman that started, that wanted to destroy all the Jews, she told Abarbanel, listen, you, you can stay. You can stay where you're working. He was the treasurer. He was the treasurer of the Spanish government. Because you can stay working for us. We love you. Because why do you mean you love me? You want to kill my people? I'm leaving. Oh, okay. You want to leave? Leave. Okay. We're not going to kill you though. We like you. Hitler writes in Mein Kampf that Part of the reason, aside from being a sociopath, psychopath, and Satan himself, part of the reason why he killed the Jews is because he said the Jews destroy everything with their communism, which is anti-religion. Meaning he hated non-religious Jews. He specifically said, Jews, religious ones, I care less for them. I don't like them. But it's the communists that I hate. It's the communists that I have to destroy. Because if we don't destroy them, he said, yimach shemo.

1:03:03like they destroyed everything else. So when a Jew says, "I'm not religious, so therefore I'm not keeping," you're confused. Whether you're religious or not is irrelevant. Your obligation to keep mitzvot has nothing to do with whether you are religious or not. That's what makes you Jewish. For a woman to say, for anyone to say, no, it's "you religious people are such-and-such." That means that you're distinguishing yourself from the rest of the Jews and you're still considering yourself a Jew without keeping mitzvot. That's a confused person because the only thing that makes a Jew a Jew is the mitzvot. Without the mitzvot, you have no proof that you're a Jew. Now you're gonna tell me, "Wait a minute..." Torah says that if my mom is Jewish, therefore I'm a Jew. Yeah, but you don't follow the Torah. Torah also says keep Shabbat. Torah also says don't marry a non-Jew. Torah says keep kosher. Torah says be honest. Torah says a lot of things. You're not keeping that, so you can't use that as an argument. You can't violate everything else but use the one thing, "No, no, my mom is Jewish, therefore I'm a Jew." The only thing that makes a Jew a Jew is if he follows the Torah. If you don't follow the Torah, you're not a Jew.

1:04:28regardless of who your mother is. That's why a person can convert. Anyone who wants to convert, all he has to do is follow the Torah, go in front of a Beit Din, show them that he's following the Torah, voila, he's a Jew. So the first and most important thing that a person needs to know is a Jew is not classified by a hat, a beard, a dress, He's classified by whether he's following the Torah or she's following the Torah or not. A woman can read Tehillim 500 times a day, but if she does not respect her husband, she is violating the Torah. Some women tell me, "Yeah, I read 50, 60, 100 chapters a day of Tehillim. I read the entire Tehillim three times a day." And I'm also filing for a divorce. Oh, okay. So the Tehillim is not helping you. Please stop. It's not helping you. You're just ruining the book. You're not supposed to read Tehillim. You're supposed to learn. You're supposed to know what you're saying. If you're still going through a divorce, there's a serious problem. You're supposed to help your husband become a tzaddik, become Rabbi Akiva. If your Tehillim is only making you a tzaddik and him a rasha, there's something wrong with your Tehillim.

1:05:49It cannot be that only women attend shiur Torah today and the husbands are babysitting the kids. Wonderful, you come to shiur Torah, it's good. But what about your husband? Is he going to shiur Torah also? If it's either you go to shiur Torah or he goes to shiur Torah, it's always the husband. Why? He's obligated. What if he doesn't want to? That means you're not doing a good job as a wife. If your husband does not want to go to a shiur Torah, you're not doing a good job as a wife. Why? Because as a woman, you have to encourage your husband to want to go learn Torah. You have to encourage your husband. How? Be a woman. Be a strong woman, chani. Happy wife, happy life, right? Okay, happy wife comes with Torah. If Rachel can make an am ha'aretz, a boor, a person that hated Judaism, into Rabbi Akiva, you can make your husband go to a shiur Torah a couple times a week. So first and foremost, a person needs to know a Jew needs to follow Torah. And by following Torah, I don't mean just keeping Shabbat. I don't mean just keeping kosher. I don't mean just a few mitzvot that you know off the top of your head. What I mean is you have to follow the Torah at all times.

1:07:06Anytime you make a move, you have to ask yourself, what is the Torah's opinion about this move? Before you make it, not after. Don’t be like this person who says, "I just signed up for a $10,000 course. What do you think about it?" Or, "I'm going on this kosher tour on a ship for a week with a bunch of single people. What do you think?" Well, you should have asked before you paid them $15,000. If you really cared about the opinion of the Torah, you would ask before you write the check, not after. After, it sounds like you're trying to show off, maybe. It doesn't sound like you're a tzaddik or tzaddeket. So a person needs to know, first and foremost, da'at Torah, 24 hours a day. The second thing is, a person needs to remember Parashat Bereshit, there was a wonderful lesson to be learned about what it takes to be a Jew. If you remember, just a couple of weeks ago in Parashat Bereishit, Adam HaRishon and Chava made a mistake. They ate from the Tree of Knowledge, and Hashem punished them. He tells Adam,

1:08:29All of your labor will be difficult. Everything you do will be difficult. To make money, to make parnasa, it's going to be difficult. So anyone today that's having a tough time making money, Baruch Hashem. Why? You're fulfilling the Torah. You're fulfilling the Torah. If it's tough for you to make money, Baruch Hashem. Why? That's what Hashem said. It's Kiddush Hashem. It's hard for you to make money. Why? That's what Hashem said. Hashem said it's going to be hard for you to make money. It's hard for you to make parnasa. To the wife, Chava, He says to her, what? It's going to be tough for you to bear children, raise children. So your wife comes home. You see her hair is everywhere. The mitpachat is over here. The hair is over there. The kids are on the walls. She's going crazy. The kids are all over the place. "Honey, I can't take it. Maybe you send them for adoption. Maybe we give them to my parents. Maybe give them to your parents. Maybe we just leave them here and we run away." "What happened? I just left for two hours." "Yeah, but I can't take it. What are they doing? Look." You look at the house. The house is half broken.

1:09:35They're waiting for you to leave so they can break the other half. Baruch Hashem. Baruch Hashem, it's happening. Why? Fulfilling the Torah. Hashem said it's going to be hard to bear and raise kids. Baruch Hashem. It's Kiddush Hashem. It's Kiddush Hashem. Torah is being fulfilled. It's hard for you to raise kids, right? Kids are breaking the walls, right? Baruch Hashem. Baruch Hashem. Torah is being fulfilled. The snake... Hashem says to the serpent, to the snake, He says, Arur, you're cursed. He doesn't even give him an opportunity to give an excuse for why he did what he did. Immediately, Hashem doesn't ask him, what'd you do? He asked Adam HaRishon, what'd you do? He says, the wife. He asked Chava, what'd you do? She says, the snake. The snake. He doesn't ask him. He says, Arur ata. You're cursed. He doesn't even give him an opportunity. He says, you're Everything you eat. It's always going to be you can eat anything you want. It's all going to be like a foul. It's all going to be, meaning in so many words. It sounds like a blessing. Why are you telling the snake? Everything is his promise. Everything is his. You can eat the chair, taste it. Okay, eat the rat, eat the mouse, eat the frog, eat the person, and eat the lamp. Everything you can eat, meaning it's that you just gave a person a quadrillion dollars a day.

1:11:04Eat as much as you want, or you can eat buffet all the time—not just for breakfast. It doesn't end at 11:30. All you want, kosher, non-kosher, whatever you want, eat. So, for years, I only knew the part, the machshava, that this blessing was really a curse in the sense that Hashem is telling the snake, Everything is yours. Just don't talk to me anymore. I don't want your prayers. I don't want your prayers. Don't pray to me anymore. That's the curse. And that's what I knew all this time. But recently, I started looking into Rabbi Yaakov Spivak's book. An amazing chiddush, mamash a million dollars—we take monthly installments if you want. If you don't like it, you don't have to pay. Chiddush, he says in the name of his rabbis, in his book, he says the blessing of having all this parnassah is the curse. But not for the reason that I thought and I learned from other rabbis that say, oh, don't pray to me. No, no, no, not because of that.

1:12:30Because if you have the right perspective, Rav Spivak says, look first at what's right and left of the snake. On the right, he has Adam HaRishon. Hashem says, you're gonna struggle to make parnassah. On the left, he has Chava, who says you're gonna struggle to raise the kids. And you, snake, you can have everything you want, no struggle. Because that's the curse. Why? Because anyone that struggled in their life... Anyone that struggled in their life to make something happen, to build a company, to build a family, to build anything, to move a house, to build a Lego set, anything, knows that the struggle, the struggle, that's the fun. Why? The feeling of success, the feeling of success after you overcome a struggle, is immeasurable. It's immeasurable. And you, snake, you're never going to have it. You're never going to have this feeling. That's the curse. The fact that you're never going to struggle, that's the curse. Because you're never going to have the feeling of pleasure in this world. You're never going to succeed in everything, but you're never going to feel what it's like.

1:13:47Only a person that struggled and overcame the struggle can understand this chiddush. Unfortunately, many people that are young in this generation refuse to struggle; they think that struggle is a bad thing, that struggle is a punishment. They simply do not understand. If you want to be a Jew, you have to learn how to struggle. You have to be an expert at struggling. Because that's what makes you a Jew. If you're not an expert in struggling, you're never going to be an expert at being a Jew. You're never going to be an expert at being righteous. You're never going to be close to Hashem. Why? Because the Torah is only achieved through Mesirut Nefesh. What's Mesirut Nefesh? Struggle. Struggle. You don't want to struggle? No Torah. And this made me understand what I thought already some time ago when I was telling you. The Gemara in Masechet Berachot says, Reish Lakish says, only a person that's willing to die for the Torah will get Torah. Why do I have to die? Why do I have to die in order to get Torah? Because if you want to put your life on the line, then you're worthy to receive the free gift from Hashem anyway. Because either way, you're not really going to learn the entire Torah by yourself. The only way you're going to learn Torah and know how to fulfill it the right way is if Hashem gifts it to you.

1:15:15He's only going to give it to you if you earn it. How do you earn it? By being willing to die. By being willing to sacrifice everything for it. If we're not willing to sacrifice, we're never going to get Torah. We have no purpose. We're worse than a worm on the floor, because at least the worm has a purpose. So, first and foremost, a person needs to know if he wants to be a Jew. After identifying what a Jew is, he needs to get acclimated and comfortable with a life full of struggle. Because that is what a Jew is. It's not that only Jews struggle. Everyone struggles. If you're alive, you're struggling. Everyone struggles. The difference between a Jew and everyone else is that the Jew understands why he's struggling. His struggle has a purpose. His struggle has a purpose. He knows that he has a bigger goal to achieve through the struggle. Everyone else just thinks life is terrible. They have shirts that say life is all types of things. But that's not life. Rav Chaim Koitzvet from Belgium, alav hashalom,

1:16:42before the Holocaust, he had a certain torem, a certain person that would donate a lot of money. Now, Rav Chaim Koitzvet, he was a big Talmid Chacham. When Rav Shach saw him one time at a wedding, they asked him to do the Sheva Brachot, and Rav Chaim asked for a Siddur. Rav Shach told him, "Kevod HaRav, everybody knows you know the entire Gemara by heart. Just remember, Masechet Ketubot, you don't need to see though. It's in Masechet Ketubot." Rav Chaim says, "Yeah, you're right. But if I start Masechet Ketubot, I'm going to end up reading you the entire Masechet. That's how much he loved the Torah. I'm not just going to read the blessing part, the Sheva Brachot. I'm going to read the entire Masechet, meaning you're asking me to recite for you."

1:17:43If you do that, I'm going to fall in love with the Gemara so much that in saying it to you, I'm going to end up reciting to you 90,000 words. He knows it by heart, just on that Masechet. Imagine, he knows hundreds of thousands, millions of words. He knows it by heart. He says, so the Siddur, the Siddur, I'm asking if it's Siddur, not because of memory. I'm asking because that's going to contain me. I know that's where I start, that's where I end. That's how much they love Torah, Rabotai. That's how much they love Torah. So he had, he had someone that was a big Baal Chesed, but wasn't a Talmid Chacham, wasn't somebody that knew a lot of Torah, wasn't even necessarily a very righteous person. So he came to this person one time and he asked him, "You don't learn much Torah, you don't learn anything. How do you decide? I mean, you're involved in every chesed that there is in town. Everyone needs something, they come to you, and you give without asking too many questions. It's unbelievable how much chesed you're involved in. How do you know to do it? How do you know how much to give each time?" And the Baal Chesed...

1:19:03taught, the Rav taught us what real chesed is, what chesed a person must strive to have in his life. He says, the only way I know that I'm giving enough is if it starts to hurt me. The minute the amount of tzedakah that I'm giving hurts a little bit, I say, ah, that's how much I need to give. If it's easy for me to write a check for a hundred bucks, it's not tzedakah. If it's easy for me to write five hundred dollars, it's not tzedakah, it's fine. If it's easy for me to give maaser because I'm making fifty thousand a month, it's easy for me to give five thousand, it's good. You get a mitzvah, don't get me wrong, it's good. But it's not a big deal. Why? It's not mesirat nefesh. It's not sacrifice. It's not sacrifice. So this person had the merit of performing so much chesed. Why? Because he understood the minimum requirement of being a Jew. What is it? Not only get used to struggle, but look for it. Look for the struggle. Look for a little bit of pain. Because that shows you you're going in the right direction. If you remember, a few weeks ago I gave you guys a story about Rabbi Chiya.

1:20:32Rabbi Chiya, the Gemara says in Masechet Ketubot, page 103b, that Rabbeinu HaKadosh, who was his rabbi, says, praiseworthy is Chiya. Praiseworthy is, wow, what a tzaddik Chiya is. Why? Look what he did. He made sure that the Torah is not forgotten in the world. What did he do? He went and planted linen. in order to make ropes, in order to use the ropes to make a net, in order to use the net to trap a deer, in order to take the deer, slaughter it in a kosher way, and then give the meat to poor children, and then take the skin the hide of the deer, and write a scroll from it with the Mishnah, with the Torah on it, and then go take this Torah and go teach it to people who didn't know anything. And make them into Talmidei Chachamim. Praiseworthy is Chiya. And the Gemara says, wait a minute, why don't you just go buy the book? Why don't you just go to a sefarim store and buy the book ready-made already? Sefarim stores of that day didn't have sefarim stores of that day.

1:21:47Maybe they did. Who knows? But the point is, why don't you just go and buy a ready-made scroll? Why are you going and making the whole thing? And it says, why is Rebbe, out of all the tzaddikim that he had under his belt, saying Chiya? Rebbe Chiya? Praiseworthy. He could have mentioned a lot of other people. Why is he mentioning Chiya? Why is he mentioning Rabbi Chiya? Why is the Gemara saying that Rabbi Chiya was on the level of a Tanna, even though he wasn't in the generation of the Tannaim? Why? Because Rabbi Chiya understood that if you want Torah to succeed, you must have mesirat nefesh. You must have struggle. You must overcome struggle. But today, I learned an additional chiddush from Rabbi Ephraim. It's worth at least 100 million if you understand it. If you don't understand, only 50. He says in the Gemara, in Masechet Chullin, page 85a, he says, one time Rabbi Chiya saw that there was a worm, a worm, falling into his linen area, where his linen plants were. He saw there was a worm there.

1:23:13He picked himself up and went running to his rabbi. He went to Rabbeinu HaKadosh. "Rabbi, Rabbi, I have a problem. Rabbi, open the door, open the door." Rabbeinu HaKadosh had a huge house. It wasn't a little tiny place. He had a huge house, with hundreds of horses, servants, everything. "Rabbi, Rabbi, Rabbi." "Okay, come in, come in, come in." Oh, Rabbi, you want to see the Rabbi? Okay, it's kind of late, but sure, I'll show you. Come. They bring him to the Rabbi, they bring him to Rabbi Yehuda HaNasi, and he says, "Rabbi, I have a problem. A worm fell into my linen." Now, Rabbeinu HaKadosh, why is he Rabbeinu HaKadosh? Because all he did was learn Torah. With all the money in the world that he had, he said at the end of his life, "Hashem, you know, You, You can testify for me. You can testify in Shamayim, at the Beit Din I'm going to get to soon. You can testify for me that all the money You gave me, I didn't enjoy it, even the size of a fingernail, of a pinky. Nothing. You can testify for me. I don't need anybody to testify. You, because You know what was happening in my life." So Rabbeinu HaKadosh learned Torah non-stop.

1:24:26He put the entire Mishnah together. He's called Kadosh. Kadosh means holy. What do we say is holy? Sefer Torah, holy. Rabbi, holy. So Rabbi Yehuda HaNasi, he's learning Torah. Rabbi Chiya, a student, also holy, but still he's coming to him, he's telling him, listen, I have a problem. A worm fell into my linen. What is Rabbi Yehuda HaNasi, a botanist? What is he, in charge of a plantation here? Is he in charge of worms? Is he a biologist, maybe? What do you want from him? He's learning Torah. What does Rebbe do? He puts his book down. He puts his Torah down. He says, "You're right, but I have a solution for you." He stops his Torah. He stops learning Torah. I told him, I have a worm that fell into the linen. Instead of saying, "No, go get an exterminator or something. What do you want from my life? Put some poison there. What do you want from me? Maybe it will go away by itself," he puts his Torah down. He says, "You're right, but I have a solution for you. Take a chicken. Slaughter it."

1:25:37...and put the blood of the chicken where the worm was, and the worm will run away. What kind of solution is this? Out of all the solutions in the world, you couldn't get a modern-day exterminator, maybe get a pair of tweezers or something, catch the worm, chop its head off. I don't know, that's what you got? Put some blood of a chicken there? Waste the whole chicken for the worm? Only a fool thinks like this. Only a person that doesn't understand the depth of Gemara, the depth of our sages, thinks that they just write stories to tell us stories that are strange. That's why you'll see a lot of these heretics that go against the Torah. They don't understand anything, and they use these stories as proofs against the Torah. It doesn't make sense. All that they prove is that they don't know what they're talking about. Here's the story. Rabbi HaKadosh said in a different Gemara and also in Masechet Chullin, praiseworthy is Chiya. Praiseworthy is Chiya. Why? Because Chiya is sacrificing his life for Am Yisrael not to forget the Torah.

1:26:56Meaning his entire life is simply to get Am Yisrael to learn Torah, to keep Shabbat, to keep mitzvot, to keep Taharat HaMishpacha, to do everything. And he's sacrificing everything for it. He's sacrificing everything for it. If he came to me because something is going on, what he's doing takes priority. Why? First, before you learn Torah, you have to have a Jew first. Before you learn Torah, you have to have the Jew first. If you buy a book of Torah, this is b'emet halacha, if you buy a book of Torah, you buy, you go to some, I don't know, Feldheim, ArtScroll, wherever you buy your kosher books of Torah, you buy it, you put it on your shelf. You never read it. You just buy it. People like to collect books because it looks good. I don't know, they like the pictures or something. They want to pretend like they're smart. So they have a million and a half books, but everything is brand new 30 years later. So anyway, you have books, you never read them. There's no holiness in the book. The book does not have Kedusha by itself. It has words, it has paper, it has some leather maybe, but it has no Kedusha.

1:28:13When does it have Kedusha? When a person reads. When a person reads something, as soon as you read even a single word from that book, now it has Kedusha. Even if you never read again, but you read even a single word, a single sentence, a single paragraph, a single page. Now it has Kedusha. But until you've read something in the book, it has no Kedusha. All it is, is just something in your house. It has no Kedusha. Don't say, "Oh yeah, I have a very holy house. Why? Look at how many books I have. Do you read any of them? No? Oh, there's no Kedusha in your house. There's no Kedusha in your house." Rabbi HaKadosh understood Rabbi Chiya is sacrificing his life for Am Yisrael. He knew before you learn Torah, you have to have the Jew first. You have to have the Jew. So if he's coming to me, everything is on hold. "What can I help you with, Chiya? What can I help you with?" Chiya tells him, "Kvoda Rav, I don't understand. I'm doing everything for Am Yisrael. I'm growing this linen so I can make the net. I'm making the net so I can catch the deer. I'm catching the deer so I can donate the meat. I'm doing that because I can also use the hide to make a Sefer Torah. I'm doing all this kiruv, but there's no success. Only 15 people showed up to my lecture. What's going on, Kvoda Rav?"

1:29:32He says, "Ah, don't worry. Take some blood, put it on the worm. The worm is the Yetzer Hara trying to interfere, trying to tell people to go to a different address, trying to tell people the internet doesn't work, trying to tell people the rabbi doesn't know what he's talking about, trying to tell people every day the opposite of the truth. But as soon as there's blood of the chicken, as soon as there's blood, the Yetzer Hara says, 'Ah, there's Mesirut Nefesh there. I don't deal with this. Bye. See you later.'" See you. Why? There's Mesirut Nefesh there. Chaya, you're in the right direction. Chaya, just show him the blood. You did everything else right. The Yetzer Hara needs a little blood though. He needs to know for sure there's Mesirut Nefesh. Go show him some blood, everything else will go smoothly. No Mesirut Nefesh, no Torah. No Mesirut Nefesh, no success in life. You want to succeed in your marriage? Understand, it's a full-time job, not once a week. Not date night, every night. A couple that's going to get divorced has date night. A couple that's going to stay married has every night. Even if it's only five minutes, every night. Even if it's only an hour, every night. Even if it's a short conversation, every night. A couple that wants to succeed

1:30:58wants to be married like our grandparents for 30, 40, 50, 60 years, has to make sure they invest into each other, into the well-being of each other, every night, every day. If you don't feel like calling your husband just to see how he's doing, it's a problem in your marriage. If you don't feel like calling your wife, or when she calls, you're like, "Ah, her again," it's a problem in your marriage. If you don't want to talk to your significant other, that means you have somebody else that's significant to you. It's not the other. A real marriage that's successful requires investment every day. That marriage is to Hashem; that marriage is to your spouse. A person needs to know all these things if he wants to succeed. fact that it's hard, the fact that it requires suffering and struggle, means that you're going in the right direction. You're going in the right direction because that's the necessary tool. If you want an easy life, you want a different religion. If you want an easy life, you want a different life, and that's heresy against Hashem. These are the things that we must know, we must know all these things because

1:32:23As Rav Spivak taught us, the struggle is the actual blessing. Struggle is the blessing. Why? Because the feeling that you'll have after you succeed in overcoming a struggle is something that's priceless. And if you're trying to run away from the struggle because you're looking for an easy handout, you're never going to succeed in life. You're never going to achieve happiness. You're never going to achieve even Judaism. You're not going to achieve anything. And all the gifts that were given to you for free from Hashem are just going to be wasted because you're not using them the right way. So, b'ezrat Hashem, this will give us a little bit of chizuk in this new year to try to take this Torah and use it as an instruction set. An instruction set in our work. An instruction set in our marriage. An instruction set in our day-to-day life. Not just something you read or watch here and there a few times a week, but all the time.

1:33:24This is what's necessary, rabotai. Hopefully, as we have Moshi'ot here and other places, each one of you starts taking it on yourself to start working on bringing your friends and explaining to them, listen, if you hear that the rabbi is mentioning something that's the opposite of you, he's not judging you. He's just telling you you're going in the wrong direction. You want to keep going in the wrong direction? He doesn't judge you, he doesn't care. He'll hug you just as much. They'll just feel bad for you. That's it. There's no judgment. There's no judgment. If you're judging, you're doing it wrong. If you're getting angry as a result of your conversation of rebuke with someone, you're doing it wrong. Don't do it. You're ruining it. It's better off you don't do it. Leave it to the professionals. If you're angry as a result of your dvar Torah, please stop. Go try a different subject. Maybe tennis. You're not supposed to get angry. Passionate? No problem.

1:34:35Excited? No problem. Happy? No problem. But if everyone sees, "Oh, yeah. Yeah, you can't really talk about that with him." Why? "Oh, yeah, he gets—he's dangerous." It's because this is Pikuach Nefesh. Pikuach Nefesh—talking about this with him—that's a problem. Chavrutai Dekelim, everyone needs to start understanding that rebuke is not a judgment. The rebuke is advice. It's to help them. Yes. When you see that your son wants to jump off a roof, you may get a little excited and you may get a little loud. Why? Because you're trying to save his life. But it's not because you're upset at him. You're upset at the situation. So, hopefully, we take this into account. We start realizing that if we see someone that has a different opinion, before we jump down and cut their throat, let's first evaluate it. Let's evaluate the opinion first. Is it valid? Is it not valid? Should I double-check my opinion? You know what? Even if I disagree with it, does that really make them an enemy? Does that really make them a bad person? They happen to like a different color than me. They happen to like a different food than me. They happen to like a different anything than me. So what? What difference is it to me?

1:35:57These are the things we all need to know because I see that this problem is recurring with many people that watch our shiurim. And instead of becoming more righteous, some of them are becoming more wicked. But they think they're doing it in the name of Torah. One guy told me, "Oh yeah, it's great. I just told my wife she's the worst person on earth." I said, "Who told you to say such a thing? No, I listened to you. She doesn't keep this. I told her she's the worst." I said, "I never said these things. What are you talking about? No, I listened to you." I said, "You didn't listen to me. Maybe you watched the show on Al Jazeera, and the Arab guy looked like me a little bit, so you thought it's the same thing. I don't know what you... It's not Torah. I never said those things." I said, "She's going to divorce you." "No, no, I think it's fine." She divorced him two months later. She divorced him two months later. Who says these things? You can't pick and choose, Rabotai. You have to be careful. You have to treat Am Yisrael with care. They're Hashem's children. They're Hashem's children. You can't just start yelling and screaming at people. I'm not saying sit there and do nothing, chas v'shalom. That makes you a bigger sinner.

1:37:09But you have to make sure that it's coming the right way. If you can't do it, you don't know how to do it, give it to the professional. That's why the next time we have a shiur here, or the next one we have on Sunday, or on Tuesday, or on Wednesday, or any other day, each one of you should drag one of your friends, one of your colleagues, one of those people, and tell them, yeah, yeah, we're going out to eat, and just bring them over here instead. If they want to eat, we'll give them food too if they want. We'll give them pizza, we'll give them whatever they want. Tell them, yeah, where's the food? It's coming, it's coming. We'll buy them food. Whatever they want, just bring them. Why? They have to hear the other side. They have to hear the other side so at least they can evaluate it correctly. At least evaluate their own life. Is it worth it for me to continue being an enemy of Hashem by going against Him? Is it worth it for me to continue living my life the opposite of the Torah? Is it worth it? It's not. But the reason why most people do it is because they simply don't know it's the opposite of the Torah. And anyone that usually tries to help them does it in the wrong way, either because they're judging them, or they simply don't know how to communicate, or whatever it is. The key is, Rabotai, that you have to do something. This year we each have to be a little bit more aggressive with bringing more people to Torah. We can't just continue benefiting from Torah on our own while Am Yisrael continues to stay the same.

1:38:33have to bring people. You have to get each person to bring at least 10-20 people every year to do full teshuva. It's the only way. The only way we're going to be able to do this is if other people start doing mitzvot for us. So, each person has to start working harder. That's mesirut nefesh. It's hard, it's annoying, it's a headache, yes, exactly. That means you're doing it right. That means you're doing it right. If it's not hard, then you're not doing it right. Any questions? Yeah, there is actually, I think there's an organization, I believe it's called Olami, Olami or Olam, something like that, and a few others, that their main place of doing kiruv. in college campuses across America, and I don't know their success ratio or anything like that. I just know that there are a couple of organizations—I just read about it recently, actually—that their strategy is to set up shop at college campuses, and they get the college kids to come to different events.

1:39:54And try to influence them to keep Shabbat, keep kosher, and give them a place to eat. I know Chabad does it also. In many campuses, you'll see a Chabad center. So, yeah, absolutely. If you can go to a college campus and get some kids to sit down and listen to you, or come to shul, absolutely. The fact that it's full of immodesty does not distinguish it from the rest of the world, unfortunately. It's not like you're going there and it's immodest, and you go everywhere else and it's not immodest. Everywhere is immodest. And you go outside in the middle of the night, three o'clock in the morning, and you see immodesty. So that should not stop you from trying to do kiruv. If you're gonna do kiruv, you have to look at everyone as a potential customer. Whether they have a beard or not is irrelevant. Whether they're religious or not is irrelevant. Whether they're young or old is irrelevant. Every single Jew that has a pulse and is willing to listen is a potential customer. Why? Because everybody has to do teshuva for something.

1:40:57So since Hashem literally gives every single word that I tell you guys, it is a 100% free gift. All we are is a parrot, repeating what Hashem said. So anyone that ever comes to the shiurim always hears at least something relevant to them. It may not be the entire shiur for them, but Hashem gives us enough that every single person leaves the shiur with something. So that's the thing. A person needs to know it. You're going to bring somebody to the shiur? They're going to benefit from it. Hopefully, they continue coming back. If you could set up something at the campus to have shiurim over there, b'ezrat Hashem, we will succeed there too. As a matter of fact, it's very interesting that a lot of the people, the students that really develop—I hate to call them fans because it's not really a fan. Somebody that changed their life is not really a fan. But the people that really develop and change their life for the good are the most are usually the younger students that I have. The guys and girls that are 16, 17, 18, 20, 22, they love this. They love the Torah that we teach. It connects to them. They see it as much more realistic. Even though you would think the opposite, actually. I would think the opposite, that they would actually run away from it. More so than the older people, it's the opposite. They actually like it more than the older people.

1:42:23They saw a lot of the people that are following our Torah for at least the last year or two. I've seen drastic changes in their lives. One of them actually just got engaged a month ago and is getting married in a month. So, what was it? And this is a person that if it wasn't for Torah, most likely wouldn't get married, or if he would, I don't know, maybe another 15 years from now until he did what every secular person does. Next. There's a question in the back. Yeah. Yeah. Good. Your wait? Same price. Okay. Thank you very much, everyone. It's good to be back. Thank you for learning with me. Amen. I don't know, maybe another 15 years from now until he did what every secular person does. Next. There's a question in the back. Yeah. Yeah. Good. Your weight? Same price. Okay. Thank you very much, everyone. It's good to be back. Thank you for learning with me. Amen.