The Value Of An Answer By The Vilna Gaon (Bitachon #2)

1:14I said, Kevoda Rav, Kevoda Rav, is everything okay? He said, Ah, Tabi Chayim, you have to do this. What is the pshat on this Rambam? Huh? What? What is the Rambam saying here? He goes, Kevoda Rav, I'm your student. You're telling me, you're asking me to give you... Commentary, the understanding, the explanation on the Rambam—you. I command you right now to give me the pshat, meaning the basic meaning of what the Rambam is saying here. He takes the book, looks at it for a few minutes, and says, "This is the pshat." He tells him what it says. At that moment, we're going to sit down. He tells his wife, "Please, I need to eat." After everything settles down, he finds out from his wife that the Gaon of Vilna has not slept for three days. For three days, he's pacing back and forth in his house—no eating, no drinking, no sleeping, nothing. Why? Because he's trying to get to the bottom of what the Rambam is saying here.

2:32Now, you may think the Gaon of Vilna is eccentric, he's crazy, he's something, but that means we're crazy. Why? Because the difference between us and the Gaon of Vilna is that he understood the significance of knowing what the Torah is saying here. What is the Rambam saying here? What is Hashem saying here? He understood the significance of it, of how it changes the world, his world, our world, every world, by actually knowing the basic understanding of what it means. What does this mean? To such an extent that, as soon as he encountered something he didn't understand, he couldn't sleep. He couldn't allow himself to sleep. He couldn't allow himself to eat. He couldn't allow himself to drink anything, because he understood the significance. We, on the other hand, go to sleep every night with 500 questions unanswered without any problem. We sleep like babies. Why? Because we really don't understand the significance of knowing the answer now.

3:40Why did the Gaon of Vilna get to such a point? Because he dedicated his time throughout his entire life to such an extent that at the end of his days, when he was on his deathbed, his students testified to seeing him laughing and crying at the same time. Why are you laughing? Why are you crying? He says, I'm crying because I'm leaving a world... Where, for $20 in those days, money obviously, for $20 you could make a mitzvah every second called tzitzit. For $5, you could make a mitzvah and a kiddush Hashem every second as a woman by covering your hair with a mitpachat. Every second, it is a kiddush Hashem; it's a mitzvah deoraita. Every second you have it, for $5 you could make a mitzvah. For $10 or $20, you could buy a tzitzit. I'm living in a world where, for every second, I can make a mitzvah for almost nothing.

4:40Whereas once I go to this real world, the eternal world, even if I give them all the money in the world, I still can't make one mitzvah. I'm leaving such a world, such a wonderful place. That's why you're crying. Because you'll know I'm crying. Because not only am I leaving it, but I'm leaving it after doing calculations that in 83 years... There are a few moments. There are a few moments. I don't know what I did. Since I can make a mitzvah in every single second, I mean this mitzvah is so valuable in the next world. I want to make sure that I utilize every second. I'm now 83 years old, and I know, I'm doing the calculation. 83 years. There are a few moments in those 83 years, a few moments, I don't know what I did. I don't know if I did the mitzvah or not.

5:40Avayah, they know to have a few moments in every minute that we don't know what we did. We burn hours and hours every single day not doing anything. People tell me, "Oh no, I've just been doing nothing all day." What do you mean, doing nothing all day? "I just burned some time, had some coffee, went to Starbucks, went to this place, watched a movie, just burned a few hours, but now I'm here." You burned a few hours like nothing. Why? Because we don't understand the value of time. So what does it mean? What's the value of actually not wasting time? His students asked him, "Okay, so now we know why you're crying. Why are you laughing?" He says, "Because I remember reading that they say that the tzaddikim, when they pass away, are greeted by tzaddikim to welcome them." I never knew where I stood, but now I know why. I see my father and Yaakov Avinu right here behind you. My father is telling Yaakov Avinu, "Look, look, look, look what kind of son I'm bringing you. Look what kind of son I'm bringing you." That's a person that didn't waste any time.

6:59First, understanding the first reason is because he understood the value of knowing the truth, first and foremost. The second thing is he understood that not necessarily everything in the Torah is going to be easy to understand. But you have to fight for it because that's, in essence, the point. That's the purpose. He understood the value of chasing the pshat, chasing the truth, however long it took. And he never went to sleep, meaning he never just let it go. Like he had a big question, and he just let it go. That's what we do a lot of times. A lot of times there are questions. I remember myself when I was young; I had a lot of questions. I would ask one or two people the question, especially when it came to Judaism. If nobody had the answer or if the answer they gave me wasn't really good, I just let it go. It's like, oh, this, yes, no, maybe. I let it go and moved on. I...

8:11Reality is, Rabotai, that if you let things go, you're never going to achieve a life without worry. And that's what a life with bitachon is. Thank you.