Three Reasons Why People Are Unhappy

0:15We are here in Eretz Yisrael, Eretz HaKodesh, Baruch Hashem, Yishtabach Shemo La'ad, the Holy Land. It's almost 3 o'clock in the morning and time to do a shiur. Why is it the time to do a shiur at 3 o'clock in the morning for Melty Slayer? Number one, because... Most of the people that we know are from all over the world, so they don't really have time zones. You know, there are people in America, of course, that are seven hours back, so it's a good time for them. There are people in Australia that are ahead. There are people literally all over the world that are watching our shiurim and getting chizuk from them, and it's been a while since we did a shiur. And it's a very, very important shiur we need to do during this time of Chol HaMoed. So first and foremost... I want to make sure that everyone knows and prays for the Refuah Shlemah for Vimesh Ben Noach, that he should have a Refuah Shlemah, Refuah HaNefesh, Refuah HaGuf. He's a very, very dear partner in all the Kiruv that we've been doing since pretty much day one at Be'ezrat Hashem, and he's been having a lot of health issues.

1:35And we need, we need HaKadosh Baruch Hu to give him Refuah Shlemah already. Because despite the fact that he's still struggling through and working even right now, it hasn't been easy. And of course we want HaKadosh Baruch Hu to bless all of us, but sometimes some of us need more than others. Also for Refuah Shlemah for Rabbi Efraim Ben Shulamit, Rabbanit Tzara Bat Anat, Rabbanit Levana Bat Sarah, Avi Mori David Ben Nesria, Imi Morati Doris Bat Joa, in all of Am Yisrael, well, I have to tell you guys, I'm here in my sukkah here in Eretz Yisrael, and it's a truly unbelievable place because it makes you realize a lot of things. It makes you realize that, you know, really where you stand, first and foremost. When you first come here to Yerushalayim, I don't know about other places, but when you come here to Yerushalayim, and it doesn't matter what shul you go to,

2:35immediately, you realize that you're nothing. Why do you realize you're nothing? Because you're surrounded by tzaddikim. You're surrounded by tzaddikim. You're surrounded by very, very holy people. And I know that some of you are thinking, oh yeah, probably everybody's a gadol hador, everybody's the biggest rabbi in the world. No, no, no. Just regular, simple people. Some people are big tzaddikim, big rabbis, and some people are just regular, average people that are doing their best to serve HaKadosh Baruch Hu. And I can tell you that there's one particular person that's been on my mind pretty much since day one that I've been here in the last few weeks. And he's a, I don't know his name, But I know that when I saw him pray a couple of times, I was so shocked by the way that he prays, that number one, I became jealous at how he prays, and wish that b'ezrat Hashem I might get to that point of praying like him. And number two, you realize that there's just the words of the Rambam,

3:39And he tells you, no matter where you are, there's always somebody that's better than you in something else. And I saw this guy pray, and I just couldn't continue praying the same. I thought a few times. And he was a guy that, if you saw him in the street, you'd probably think, you know, nothing of him. Why? Because... he looks different. Certainly doesn't necessarily act the same way that other people always do, I guess. We would say that, at least the way we used to. He has, what is it called? Down syndrome. And he he's fully active. And when he says Amen, when he says Kaddish, and he never misses a beat, and he puts on his tefillin, and he...

4:40he's fully active. And when he says Amen, when he says Kaddish, and he never misses a beat, and he puts on his tefillin, and he prays. I'm thinking about it right now. Literally, I want to start crying, crying about myself. When I see this guy pray, I couldn't believe it. I've never seen anything like it. And of course, the prayers and the teachings and everything else by other people that Baruch Hashem were able to be next to over these last few weeks are also, one is better than the other. But the thing is, it was the first look gave me a lot of perspective as far as like, gave me a lot of perspective as far as, like, you have a lot to work on, you have a lot to work on, you have a lot to do because there are people working hard to serve HaKadosh Baruch Hu to the best of their abilities, and they are not necessarily always going to come from the same background as you, or have the same tools as you, but you can see how each person can reach their full potential. And, Baruch Hashem, we are surrounded by a lot of tzaddikim who are part of our kolel. Our kolel is, Baruch Hashem, as impressive as it gets. It's a kolel of dayanim.

5:51and got to spend some more time with our own very dear Rosh Kollel, Rav Shalvit, Rav Shlomo Shalvit. He's Kodesh Kodashim, he's an extraordinary genius, and every time I talk to him, literally, it just makes me realize how much a person could know and can sacrifice for the sake of Torah. You know, toiling and toiling over decades of Torah has a world of difference in the outcome that it has on a person, much more than you could imagine. Because most people think, you know, you start getting into the Torah, you learn for a few years, you're already okay, you already know you know the stories of the Torah, but in reality, you still know nothing. And then you work more, and you learn more for another five years, and you're already in it for ten years, and you figure, okay, by now I already finished this, and I finished that, and I know what I'm doing. And then you realize you still know nothing. And you go into it for 15 years, and you figure, okay, I finished this, and I did this, and I learned this, and I learned that, and now I know. And then you realize you still know nothing, because the more you learn, the more you...

7:00number one, realize how much more there is to know. And number two, the more you get connected to more people that are just a different world, a different world. Now, right now, the reason why I was inspired to do a shiur was for a couple of reasons. Number one, to give you guys a little bit of an update of what's going on here in Eretz Yisrael. Number two, really, to address a very, very serious problem that we have in the world, not just, you know, in one place or in the other, but in the world, which is simply people do not know how to be happy. And, you know, now that we have, you know, this week's parasha, parashat V'Zot HaBerachah, starts off with the fact that, you know, we got a blessing. What blessing do we get? V'Zot HaBerachah, Asher Beirach Moshe, Ish HaElohim, Et Bnei Yisrael Lifnei Motoh, this is the blessing that Moshe Rabbeinu... to address a very, very serious problem that we have in the world, not just, you know, in one place or in the other, but in the world, which is simply people do not know how to be happy. And, you know, now that we have, you know, this week's parasha, parashat V'Zot HaBerachah, starts off with the fact that, you know, we got a blessing. What blessing do we get? V'Zot HaBerachah, Asher Beirach Moshe, Ish HaElohim, Et Bnei Yisrael Lifnei Motoh, this is the blessing that Moshe Rabbeinu, the man of God bestowed upon the children of Israel before his death. And what does it say? The Torah that Moshe commanded us is the heritage of the congregation of Yaakov. So here we see that ultimately the biggest blessing in the world is the Torah. But what most people don't realize is that the Torah in itself is not a blessing unless you make it your priority in life.

8:23Torah in itself is not a blessing unless you make it your priority in life. And I don't just mean a priority like it's important to you, a priority like it's good, a priority like it's interesting when you get a chance, but rather the Torah becomes the manual of how you live your life, how you function, how you think, how you make your decisions. And unless a person starts making the Torah their priority number one and literally one and only, and lives their life in accordance with it, they're never going to get to that sweetness of Torah, where they're on a constant rise to get to a better place. Even if you don't necessarily feel the rise all the time, you know that you're going better, you're getting better, you're growing, because you're doing more. and literally one and only, and lives their life in accordance with it, they're never going to get to that sweetness of Torah, where they're on a constant rise to get to a better place. Even if you don't necessarily feel the rise all the time, you know that you're going better, you're getting better, you're growing, because you're doing more. you're praying better, you're learning more information, you're doing more things, and really the blessing that Moshe Rabbeinu really gave us is that he gave us the Torah in our hands to be able to utilize it. Now, at the same token, you see that the world around us is as miserable as it ever gets. So, before we get to address the answer of why they're miserable, why people are miserable,

9:44because I don't have, you know, it's again at the end of the day, it's still 3 o'clock in the morning, so I can't have a three-hour shiur right now, because I still have to wake up in a few hours to go pray, but I wanted to tell you guys that, you know, because there's been a lot of, surprisingly, a lot of people that have been watching me over the years that are either located in Israel, or have decided that they want to come to Israel, or they have come to Israel for this time, they want to come to the event. mostly the event was catered for. It's going to be an extraordinary event next week. There are going to be hundreds and hundreds of people there, but mostly it's the families of these Avreichim that have completed the Shas Bavli in a single year, or the Shas Mishnayot for kids that are younger than 13 years old, or some of the other Avreichim that have completed the Shulchan Aruch, or the Midrash, and a bunch of other things. Baruch Hashem, it's going to be the biggest event we've ever done as far as the amount of Torah that was learned, on top of what we did last week, which was completing the Shas in a single day by a group of 300 Avreichim. But the event next week is going to be an event with music, with food, with a huge Kiddush Hashem celebration. But I really had thought that, you know, since at least my mind the way it works, that I figured that most people that are watching are not necessarily going to be

11:07um, available or even, you know, capable of coming to attend the event, but apparently, with a bunch of messages I'm getting—which I haven't even addressed most of them just because it's been so busy—apparently a bunch of people want to come. So we have to actually make some changes, and we've increased the number of places in the event. So we have an additional, I would say, probably between 60 or so seats left. So it's going to be about 600-plus people there. And we've just made, you know, we have 60 seats or so available for anybody that wants to come. Now, anybody that wants to come, don't just show up there because they're not going to let you in. Because again, it's specific seating. Everything has been reserved. Everybody has tickets and so on and so forth. If you do want to get a ticket and you're actually 100% going to come, then contact me as soon as possible on WhatsApp and let me know, and I'll do my best to try to get you a ticket.

12:17Like I said, we're just making 60 more places available. And so that should be a little bit of help for some people who haven't gotten it. I know some people already got it, some people are already in. But for those of you who haven't gotten confirmation that you're 100% in for this event, you haven't gotten a ticket, you haven't gotten any confirmation, nothing, don't assume that if you just show up there, to let you in because they won't, and I won't be able to help you there because I won't be accessible. I'll be, you know, I'm not going to have my phone on. I'm not going to be answering text messages or anything. So, um... If you really want to come, and you want to come, then contact me as soon as possible. I'll do my best to get you a ticket. But again, I can't promise that I'll be able to do it for everybody, because I don't know how many of you there really are, but I'll do my best. Okay, so with that being said, the event is going to be a huge event, a big celebration, and really gives everybody a perspective of how much Torah you can really learn in a single year. For these groups of guys to take on completing the entire Talmud Bavli in a single year is unprecedented.

13:20big celebration, and really gives everybody a perspective of how much Torah you can really learn in a single year. For this group of guys to take on completing the entire Talmud Bavli in a single year is unprecedented. Most people have not completed the Talmud Bavli in a single lifetime, needless to say in a year. So, Baruch Hashem, this is our second year doing it. Last year, there were much fewer participants, obviously. But this year we have, Baruch Hashem, quite a few people. And it's been a big surprise. And the good thing is that after... The event, part of the big gift and investment we've made, is that each one of these families is going to receive a gift from the organization to help them financially for their significant achievement. And, of course, there are going to be some other things at the event. that I'm sure people will enjoy. So that's been a really big undertaking, a lot going on, and we're looking forward to it. Now, going back to our matter at hand, we have a mitzvah, a mitzvah, just like keeping Shabbat, just like the mitzvah of eating kosher, just like the mitzvah of family purity, just like the mitzvah of learning Torah.

14:39just like keeping Shabbat, just like the mitzvah of eating kosher, just like the mitzvah of family purity, just like the mitzvah of learning Torah. With the mitzvah of Sukkot. And in Sukkot, the mitzvah is not just on Yom Tov, but it's throughout the entire week of Sukkot, which is that you must be happy. Now I'm here in my sukkah, and Baruch Hashem, this is the best sukkah I've ever had. Not because it's the biggest—it's actually the smallest. Not because it has the most decorations—it's actually probably the fewest decorations, because it's smaller. but rather because of simply the environment and the kedushah that's here. We've been able to learn here, we've been able to sleep here, and we've been able to simply enjoy ourselves here. You can see the Jerusalem stones behind me. One of the most amazing things, in my opinion, about Jerusalem is that everything is Jerusalem stones. It's just such a beautiful city, and it's easy to be happy.

15:42But at the same time, it doesn't mean that life is easy. As soon as we got here, we found out that one of the avreichim that we know, his wife, only 36 years old, mother of six, passed away, unfortunately, only a couple of days after she found out that she had the disease. We found out that this happened. Of course, somebody else that we also know had a problem as well with their family. Just because it's holy and it's beautiful doesn't necessarily mean that life is easy. So the first thing we need to know is that happiness doesn't mean that life is easy. It doesn't mean that everything is peaches and you're living in a world where everything works out. That's not happiness. That's delusion. That's something that doesn't exist because problems are part of life. But yet, everybody knows it. And everyone knows that problems are part of life. And everyone tries to run away from their problems. Everyone tries to address problems in different ways. But the Torah teaches you that you really have a problem in a society that is mostly ignorant of Torah, even within the frum community.

17:05To the point where people could learn Torah, do mitzvot, and serve Hashem on a daily basis to the best of their abilities, but more or less be miserable. More or less not know how to enjoy anything other than momentary joy. So the question is, why are most people unhappy? And now, we have two groups of people. We have people that are unhappy because they don't have Torah in their lives, and that's obviously a problem of its own, because they need the whole gamut of change, the whole transformation of life to actually know that the river of life only comes from the Torah. They have to abandon their idolatry, their heresy, their craziness, their, you know, all that stuff, in order to even have a remote chance of attaining happiness. And on the other hand, you have frum people, you have religious people that are following the Torah, that are following the mitzvot, that are serving Hashem every day, they have their lulav every day in the morning during Sukkot, and they're shaking it with the etrog and the arba minim, and everything is good.

18:24And once in a while, they're happy, make it show a smile, but in reality, inside them, they're miserable. Completely miserable. Why? Why is it that people are so miserable? There's a book that was written a thousand years ago. This book is a book that you have to study probably a thousand times in order to truly understand the depth of every word that's been written here. in order to truly understand the depth of every word that's been written here. And this book has been covered, you know, different aspects of it have been covered by different teachers. Most of it has been the teachings of bitachon, of having confidence in Hashem, because the most famous part of this book is the Shaar HaBitachon, the section about bitachon, but really, The rest of the book doesn't get enough coverage, needless to say, enough credit. And I've mentioned the first Sha'ar quite a few times, which is Sha'ar HaYichud, the unity of God.

19:34where the first section of the book is going to teach anyone who has any heretical thoughts about multiple gods, not having a god, atheism, all types of idolatry, all types of basic fundamental belief issues of Judaism and the Torah, that's covered already in the first section. But the second section covers a whole different world. And in the beginning of it, In this book, it's called Chovot HaLevavot. Chovot HaLevavot, in English, is called Duties of the Heart. Now, in the second section, Rabbeinu Bachya tells us why people are so unhappy. Why people are so unhappy and really, it all starts with the fact that they don't know how to be grateful to the Creator who created them. And a person who doesn't know how to be grateful to the Creator who created them means that they're not acknowledging that the Creator is even giving them anything to begin with. In fact, when you have a relationship with somebody, if that person is giving you their all,

20:58is giving you their time, is giving you their money, is giving you their body, is giving you everything that they have, and all you return is a simple "thank you," if that much, then little by little, that person is going to realize that you actually don't love them. You may enjoy the things they give you, but you don't actually love them. Because anyone that you invest into usually reciprocates, not necessarily just by giving the same back, but simply by giving part of themselves back. So, when a person doesn't know how to acknowledge any form of gratitude, doesn't know how to express any form of gratitude, that's a person that's unfortunately very, very removed from whoever is giving them anything. And unfortunately, most people get everything that they have from HaKadosh Baruch Hu, get everything they have from Hashem, but they're not grateful for it, and that lack of gratitude leads to the root of their unhappiness. Now, why are people so ungrateful? The Chovot HaLevavot says the following... get everything that they have from HaKadosh Baruch Hu, get everything they have from Hashem, but they're not grateful for it, and that lack of gratitude leads to the root of their unhappiness. Now, why are people so ungrateful? The Chovot HaLevavot says the following: First, we note,

22:17that although God's graces with His creatures are universal and all-embracing, as stated by the verse in Tehillim, in Psalms 145:9, that God is good to all, most people are too blind to recognize or realize their grandeur. And there are three reasons why people fail to perceive God's graces. The first reason is the great extent to which people become involved in worldly affairs and desire unattainable worldly pleasures. And in so many words, he elaborates on it and expands on this point, but for the sake of time, we're going to summarize it for you guys. A person gets so attached to whatever they desire that is the great extent to which people become involved in worldly affairs and desire unattainable worldly pleasures. In so many words, he elaborates on this and expands on this point, but for the sake of time, we're going to summarize it for you. A person gets so attached to whatever they desire that they completely disassociate themselves from whatever they have already attained. So much so, he says, that whatever blessings they have, however many they are, whether it's a working body, being able to wake up in the morning and function without pain and agony, having money to eat, a roof over their head, a wife, kids, or a husband, they have...

23:37you know, a car to drive, a job, whatever it is that they have in life, it doesn't matter how many blessings they have, how much money they have, how big their house is, you know, any of that stuff. It doesn't matter. Because whatever blessings they have seem few to them. The wonderful gifts that HaKadosh Baruch Hu gives them seem like nothing. Since they are missing, missing, another thing that they're looking for. So he's upset about not having a certain amount of money, forgetting about the fact that he has a wife, kids that are worth a lot more than the money that he wants, a house that actually is livable, and a body that has organs that are functioning. Little does he know that if he had to replace any one of those organs, it would cost him a lot more than the money that he's trying to attain. He wants a million dollars, he wants ten million dollars, but the reality is that if he had to replace one of his lungs or his liver or anything like that, he would literally be poor, no matter what amount of money he has. Because even people like the late Steve Jobs, who had billions of dollars in the bank, could not afford a new liver.

25:03So what ends up happening is that a person gets so focused on their desires, on their wants, on their dreams and delusions, that they simply ignore anything they actually have. They ignore the fact that their eyes see, they ignore the fact that their teeth work, they ignore the fact that they're able to go to the bathroom without screaming, they ignore the fact that they're able to, you know, reach into their pocket and actually have some money in there and be able to buy food and be able to pay their bills and be able to pick up a phone and call their loved one, whoever is important to them. They're able to go from place to place with their car or even on a bus or whatever way they're able to function in the world. They completely disregard all of that. Why? Because they're missing that one thing, that title at their job, that relationship that they want. that a certain amount of money or that phone or that computer, or it literally could be the smallest thing in the world, the most ridiculous thing in the world that a person could be depressed over. You know, they want something, I don't know, some type of material possession, and they feel depressed that they can't get it. Oh, the world is over. I can't believe I can't have this one, two, three thing.

26:21And disregarding the fact that they already have 500 things that are much more valuable than that one thing, it's the saddest thing in the world because you can't even help this person. Their problem is not that they're missing this one thing; their problem is that they don't recognize that their addiction to more stuff is the reason why they're suffering. Because even after they attain this one thing, if they ever do, they'll go back to misery within moments because they'll have a new desire for something else. And what makes it even worse is that any good that they have seems insufficient, while the good that comes to other people, that they see in their life, makes them miserable. Why does it make them miserable? Because they feel like whatever somebody else got, it's as if it was taken out of their pocket. Somebody else got a new car, but he, instead of feeling happy for that person, feels miserable. How come I don't have a new car? Well, you have a car. Isn't your car fine? Yeah, but he has a new car.

27:41How come he has a new house? How come she has a new husband? How come she has a new kid? How come she has a new bracelet or a new ring? And literally, they start looking at the possessions of others as if they are their losses. While their own share of good fortune becomes a misfortune due to their failure in recognizing HaKadosh Baruch Hu's favors to them. to the point where the Torah says the wicked man in his haughtiness does not look for God. All his evil thoughts are, "There is no God." A person literally makes themselves into an atheist simply because they're addicted to more stuff, no matter what they have.

28:42They fail to recognize whatever good they have, and they simply get to a point where they see everybody else's benefits as their losses. This is the first reason why people are miserable. And they're never going to be happy. They're never going to be successful in life as long as they have this addiction to more. Ambition It's not a bad thing if a person is ambitious for the right reasons but is still, at the same time, happy with whatever they have. The problem with people is that they mistake ambition for addiction. And this is exactly what this is. This is simply an addiction for more. What more? More of what? More of anything. A mentality where if you want something and you didn't get it, You wanted to convert. You wanted to move. You wanted to buy a new hat. You wanted to get married. You wanted to overcome this obstacle. You wanted whatever it is that you want. And as long as you don't achieve it, you're miserable. That's a sad state of affairs. Why? Because until you realize that no matter where you are, as long as you're alive, you should be happy with whatever you have. You should be happy with whatever share you have.

30:08As long as you don't realize that, you're never going to be happy, even after you attain whatever it is that you want. Because if you don't know how to be grateful for what you have, that means you don't know how to be grateful to the Creator. Because you're not recognizing what He's given you. And if you're not recognizing... what the Creator is giving you, if you're not recognizing what HaKadosh Baruch Hu is giving you, that means you really do not have an actual, real connection with Him. You have a connection with stuff. You have a connection with an illusion. You have a connection with an image. You have a connection with a source of good or bad, whatever it is that you view at that moment. And the sad reality is that a lot of people view life that way. The second reason why people are miserable, says the Chovot HaLevavot nearly a thousand years ago, is that human beings, when they come into this world, are like ignorant beasts and donkeys. As the Torah says in the book of Iyov, chapter 11, verse 12, a man is born a wild donkey. People grow up so accustomed to HaKadosh Baruch Hu's abounding favors,

31:27These favors seem routine and ordinary to them, as if they were innate, as if they were inseparable from them, as if they were interminable for the rest of their lives. And when their intelligence develops and their perception sharpens, they remain ignorant of HaKadosh Baruch Hu's favors. "And it doesn't occur to them that they have an obligation to express gratitude for these things that they have, because they realize neither the magnitude of the favor that HaKadosh Baruch Hu did for them, nor the magnitude of the One who actually gave it to them in the first place. What does this all mean? Here the Chovot HaLevavot is literally giving all of us a slap in the face. He's telling us," that we're born into this world clueless, no different than a donkey or some form of beast. And we get stuff. As soon as a baby comes out into the world, somebody feeds him. Somebody gives him clothes. Somebody takes care of him. Somebody makes sure that he has a place to sleep that's comfortable, that's quiet. Somebody takes care of all of his needs. Every time he...

32:42fills up that diaper with a bunch of goodies, somebody changes him and cleans him and makes sure that he stays healthy. If he has a little fever, somebody takes care of him, gives him whatever is necessary to make sure that the fever goes away. If he doesn't eat, they change the food. As he grows up, they give him more stuff. They give him toys. They give him new clothes. They give him all these different things. And the baby just grows up, you know, he's a baby. He's just getting stuff. because that's what babies do. They eat, they sleep, and they replenish themselves after removing everything that they've gotten from their body. They don't necessarily have to say thank you. They don't necessarily have to really do much. A little peep, a little cry, the world shakes for them. And this little baby is going to grow up And continue getting that. At one, at two, at three, at four, at five years old, at six years old, he's going to continue getting this treatment where his parents are going to keep taking care of him without ever having to work for it, sweat for it. The biggest effort that he has to do is cry for it. That's it. And sometimes not even that much.

34:05Because the reality is, the parents are already worried about his next cry before he cries. So they already buy the food that he needs to eat before he even asks for the food. They already buy the diapers that he needs to use before he actually even needs to change the diapers. They already buy all the different things that he needs before he even needs them. So the reality is that the crying is not really him crying out, "Oh, somebody help me." No, it's simply, "It's time to change, it's time to fix." Serve me. Now, if we stopped doing this as babies, this would be great. But we don't. We grow up with this type of mentality more and more. And a person grows up, and he's 10 years old, and he's 15 years old, and he's 20 years old, and he's 30 years old, still having that same type of mentality that things are just supposed to work out. Somebody is supposed to give me a job. Somebody is supposed to give me money. Somebody is supposed to give me somebody to marry. It's not only that I want to marry them, but also that person is going to cater to me. They're going to give me whatever I want. They're going to do whatever I want. They're going to speak to me the way that I want. And in so many words, it gets to a point where literally this person has this delusion that the world is there to serve him. And when things don't work out,

35:30when the car doesn't turn on, when he gets fired from the job, when his stomach is acting up and starts making all types of strange noises and has all types of uncomfortable feelings, all of a sudden, it's like, why is this happening to me? I don't understand. Why is Hashem doing this to me? And he has questions of how could this be? Why is this happening to me? How come I didn't get the job? How come I didn't get the raise? How come I couldn't find a wife? How come I couldn't find a husband? How come I couldn't have kids? And he's questioning as if it's supposed to happen. What is it like? He gives an example. He gives an example. He gives an example. It's such a good example. At 3 o'clock in the morning, we have to hear it. He says, imagine there was a righteous man. And this righteous man one day sees that there is an abandoned baby. Imagine an abandoned baby. His parents left. I don't know. They left. And the baby is in the middle of the world. No one in the world can help him. So this righteous man

36:53Picks up the baby, sees there's no one to take care of him. He sits there with him. Maybe the parents will come back. Waits for an hour, two hours, three hours, four hours, nothing. No parents to be found. He puts up posters everywhere, but he can't stay outside forever. He takes the baby inside and starts taking care of the baby. He has to go buy some baby food. He has to feed this baby now. He has to change this baby. But the parents never come back. In so many words, in a matter of seconds, this little favor has turned into an adoption without all of the politics. He adopts this baby and starts taking care of the baby. And now, all of a sudden, he has to feed a baby every day. He didn't have to feed a baby yesterday, but today he has to feed a baby. He has to clean the baby every day. he has to take the baby with him to work because he doesn't have a wife to help him with all this. And he's taking care of this baby. Day and night, he's making sure the baby has food, is clean, and is sleeping well. And the baby grows up in this world where more or less nothing has changed for him because yesterday he had a parent to take care of him. That parent is gone.

38:21A new parent replaced him shortly after. Nothing happened. He continued growing into the world. He has food to eat. He's clean. He eats. If anything, he's as happy as can be. Now, the baby grows up and starts maturing. He's 10 years old. He's 15 years old. He's even 20 years old. Now it's more than just cleaning and eating. This baby has other stuff. He's got toys. He's got all types of things that he needs for learning. He's got an education. And this righteous man has been taking care of this baby all this time. One day, the same righteous man finds out that this group of hoodlums has kidnapped some guy and are just torturing him and have turned him into a slave. And he feels terrible about this guy. Then he decides to take initiative and he goes to these hoodlums, he goes to these criminals' hideout, and he says to them, "Listen, I heard you guys have some slave over here. I'm interested in buying him." They're like, "Oh, you have money?" He's like, "Yeah, yeah, I have money."

39:43"How much are you going to pay?" He's like, "Well, he's a slave and a regular slave in the streets. You can buy him for one gold coin. But since I really need him, I'll give you two gold coins for him." They're like, "Okay, you know what? Take him. What do we need him for?" They give him the guy. In reality, he doesn't want the slave. He doesn't want a slave. He wants to free the guy. So he gives these criminals two gold coins and he frees the guy. Now the guy is obviously beat up. They tortured him for a few days. He brings him, the righteous man brings him into the house and he starts taking care of him. He says, "Go take a shower, I have some food for you, and a change of clothes." Now the baby, that's now 20 years old, is watching this whole thing. And he says, "Wow, look what he did for him. Look what he did for him. How he saved this guy. How he saved this guy from these bandits, from these criminals." He did so much for him. This guy was doomed. This guy had nothing going for him. He did so much for him. He saved his life. He did a lot more for him than he ever did for me. Why? That's what that kid thinks. That kid thinks, that 20-year-old kid thinks...

41:06that he did a lot more for him. That the righteous man who adopted him and saved this other guy did a lot more for the second guy than for him. Why? Because from his perspective, now being more mature, if you will, he says, look, this guy, if he didn't save him, he would have stayed a slave for the rest of his life. If he didn't save him, they would have killed him. If he didn't save him, he would have been doomed. Nobody else was there for him. So he did a lot more for him. But obviously, we, who know the story, know that this 20-year-old kid is a fool. What are you talking about? You were in a much worse condition, and in fact, a lot more went into you than could ever go into this other guy. Because this other guy was already grown up. This other guy... was already at a certain point of his life. You were at a point in your life where literally you were either going to have a life or not. And the infant that's now a young man, says the Chovot HaLevavot, could not appreciate the magnitude of the favor that had been done for him, even though his perception has sharpened and his mind has matured over the last 20 years. For he had been used to these favors from his earliest childhood. Whatever he got...

42:30From the righteous man. He figures he's entitled to it. He gave him food. Yeah. Why wouldn't he give me food? He bathed him. Why wouldn't he bathe me? He made sure he has a roof over his head to live in. Why wouldn't he have? He lives in a place. What's it to him to help me? I was just a baby. He doesn't realize how great the good that he actually already got. And obviously, no rational person... will doubt that the love and kindness that was showered upon this infant was much greater in scope and more striking than the second guy, and that this infant is under a greater obligation to express constantly his thanks and appreciation. And that's why the prophet Hoshea chapter 11 verse 3 says, In the name of HaKadosh Baruch Hu, it was I who accustomed the frail one to being taken up in his arms, and they did not know that I had healed them. Here we see that a person can live in this world simply benefiting from HaKadosh Baruch Hu in every way, shape, or form, and not even realizing how much good he's gotten.

43:53not because he's addicted to other things that we discussed before, but simply because he feels like this is supposed to be the way. What? He created me, so therefore He has to feed me. He created me, so therefore He has to give me working body parts. He created me, and therefore this, and therefore that. And people actually feel like God is just supposed to give them stuff. Like, what's the big deal? Until you see... There are people that God also created, but He didn't give them those things. And until you do, and until you reflect on the gifts that you have, you're not going to realize that you are disconnected from HaKadosh Baruch Hu. Even if you say, "I love You, God." Even if you have stickers on your forehead, tattoos on your forehead saying, "I love You, God," you're still disconnected from God. Because you think that God owes you something. You think that God, for some reason or another, is supposed to do all this for you. Because you've become accustomed to it.

45:04This is the second reason why people are unhappy. They don't know how to appreciate the good that they have because they don't realize it's even good. They don't realize it's even good because they figure it's just supposed to be this way. It's like that heretic who wrote a book about how God needs you and how the... I didn't ask to be created. That whole mentality... of heresy was already addressed by the Chovot HaLevavot over a thousand years ago. This type of mentality is poisonous to anybody that wants to have even an ounce of happiness in their life. Real happiness, not fake happiness. You pretend you smile while in reality inside you're crying. Now the third reason. The third reason, Rabotai HaKadoshim, is a reason that no less important than the others. For some of you, it's going to be even more important. The third reason people fail to perceive God's graces is that misfortune befalls them in this world and harm comes to them in body and property, and they fail to discern how these misfortunes, these painful experiences,

46:34serve them as a means to their ultimate good. And they don't end up appreciating the benefits that they gain from the trial and the discipline which these difficulties provide. As David HaMelech said in Tehillim, chapter 94, verse 12: "Happy is the man whom You discipline, O God, whom You teach from Your Torah." They forget that they owe their own existence and all that belongs to them to the grace which the Creator, in His generosity and love, bestowed upon them and that His decrees upon them are just in accordance with the dictates of His wisdom. And they end up being resentful when His judgment is visited upon them, and they don't praise Him when His loving-kindness is manifested to them. Because their ignorance brings them to deny both the benefits and the Benefactor. Here we see a simple reality of life. What is this reality of life? A reality of life where everyone has difficulties. Everyone has difficulties. That young man who has Down syndrome that I told you about, that's literally...

47:54someone that has inspired me, just by looking at him and how he prays, he has difficulties. Other people have financial difficulties, others have health difficulties, life difficulties, being widows, being orphans, having all types of crises, sometimes mental crises, health crises. Everybody has difficulties. But yet, When you meet tzaddikim, when you go inside the Torah, you meet more tzaddikim. You see how many difficulties they had, but yet they were the greatest teachers of happiness because they themselves were happy despite the difficulties. So how could somebody that lost 11 kids and a wife during the Holocaust be happy, like the Klausenberger Rebbe? How could somebody that lost his entire family to murderers build an empire of happiness and holiness, like the Ponovezher Rav, Rav Yosef Shlomo Kahaneman? How could all of the great sages that we had throughout all of history... 11 kids and a wife during the Holocaust, be happy like the Klausenberger Rebbe? How could somebody that lost his entire family to murderers build an empire of happiness and holiness like the Ponovezher Rav, Rav Yosef Shlomo Kahaneman? How could all of the great sages that we had throughout all of history

49:22that dealt with one difficulty over another, still walk around with a smile on their face despite the difficulties. It's because their perception of difficulties was different. The average person sees a difficulty as simply either a punishment—"Oh, I'm being punished. Why are you being punished? I did something bad. What did you do bad? Oh, a whole list of bad things." Or ignorance. i don't know why He's punishing me. Oh, you did everything right? Oh, you know, listen, I don't know what I did wrong. I don't know why He's punishing me. So, people suffer all types of depressions and misery and horror for no reason according to them. They don't know why bad things happen to them. They don't know. As if God likes to abuse people.

50:23He has nothing better to do. Or they simply don't understand why this is happening to them. And in fact, this could be a mistake. They think it's a mistake. It shouldn't be happening to me. I gave tzedakah. I did good. I davened. I'm nice. I this. I that. Everybody has a list of all the good deeds that they did. Usually, the good things that they did, they remember. The bad things they did, somehow they forget. And what ends up happening is that when bad things happen, when they have that flat tire, when they lose a job, when they have all types of difficulties, they don't know what to do with these difficulties. And it puts them, wherever they are, in a horrible place. where they're either confused as to why this is happening to them, or they're depressed, feeling like this is the end, this bad thing will never go away, this bad feeling will never go away. This is, by the way, as a side note, the reason why people commit suicide, because they feel like whatever bad state they are in is never going to go away, because they have no concept of time.

51:45because their emotions are overriding any type of rational understanding of time and how whatever they have right now is only temporary, regardless of what it is. Even if it's death, that death may not be temporary, but the feeling that you have over that death is temporary. And the reality is that a person can get to a point where, since they don't see the value and even the benefits giving them this difficulty, they simply fall into misery, into depression, into a place where no man wants to go. They can go into this deep hole and literally never come out, and they're doing this all on their own. This part has nothing to do with God. God didn't put them in this depressed state of mind. God didn't put them in this misery. Yeah, what do you mean? But if He didn't take this, if He didn't hit me this way, if He didn't give me that way, then it wouldn't have happened. No, no, no. You were already at that state of mind before He gave you that hit. Before you lost that job, before you lost that loved one, before you had that difficulty, you already had this state of mind.

53:09that life is supposed to work, everyone is supposed to be happy, everyone is supposed to be healthy, everything is supposed to be just given to you on a silver platter, and just simply always function. The battery is always on, it's always charged, and the moment that it didn't work according to your plan, you felt like God hates you and is abusing you, insulting you, and assaulting you. and just doing everything just to torture you because you think that everything is supposed to work according to your plan. What you don't realize is that difficulty is actually part of the plan. It may not be your plan, but it is God's plan. And when a person doesn't know how to perceive difficulties, doesn't know the value of difficulties, they're always going to view them as misfortunes to the extent where they could literally bring themselves from a place of belief in servitude of Hashem to heresy and even atheism. they're always going to view them as misfortunes to the extent where they could literally bring themselves from a place of belief in servitude of Hashem to heresy and even atheism. Because they're so full of difficulties every single day, and all of us have difficulties.

54:32Some more, some less at different parts of our life. But everybody in accordance with their level of abilities that Hashem gave them. Each person has a certain threshold for pain. Some people have a higher threshold. Some people have a lower threshold. Some people have a threshold for pain of one thing while another person has a higher threshold for something else. But the one that really loves HaKadosh Baruch Hu and is truly connected to Him, whatever threshold they have is irrelevant. Why? Because they know that whatever pain HaKadosh Baruch Hu gives them, it's to their benefit. What is it like? This is like a person that says, listen, I know I don't feel good, but this doctor told me that the way to cure this ailment is with this very, very difficult surgery that's very painful, and I have to go to recovery stage for two weeks, so I'm just not going to do it. Well, okay, Mr. Smarty Pants, that may be your decision, but you do realize that that decision is going to make it even worse, because... is with this very, very difficult surgery that's very painful, and I have to go to a recovery stage for two weeks, so I'm just not going to do it. Well, okay, Mr. Smarty Pants, that may be your decision, but you do realize that that decision is going to make it even worse because...

55:49you're now in a situation where you want to avoid a surgery that will cause you to be in bed for two weeks, thinking that just avoiding it is going to make it go away is obviously ridiculous. In fact, what you're doing is making it worse. And what ends up happening is that since this person is denying the reality, he puts himself in a position where by the time he realizes he needs the surgery, it may actually be a much longer recovery and much more painful. He doesn't realize that the pain that was originally offered to him was to his benefit. This is like a parent that sees his child and knows that if the child doesn't get this shot from a doctor, he could risk getting sick, and that sickness is going to be much more painful than the needle. If he doesn't take this pill or this medicine, he can get sick, and that's going to be much more painful and agonizing than the bitter taste of the medicine. Everyone that's normal and mature understands that. But sometimes the person himself that's teaching this to their kid is not mature enough to realize they have to apply the same lessons to themselves. Because when problems happen to them and they have a sick child or they have a difficulty in their life, they simply think that God is doing something to them that's not according to plan. They forget that this is the plan.

57:19that this is the plan. This is the plan. That difficulty that you're getting right now on a silver platter, it's the same silver platter that was used to give you all of the benefits and the blessings you have in your life. And the reason why you are miserable right now is because you thought that God is like some type of Santa Claus that's only supposed to give you gifts. What you don't realize is that God gives you gifts, but sometimes those gifts are painful. You may not want to have the gift of blood and surgery, but in reality, if you skip that, then you won't have your heart saved in heart surgery. You wouldn't have the ability to walk again after back surgery. You wouldn't have birth. Your children wouldn't be born. All types of things that you have to experience involve this blood, this pain, but are actually necessary. A person that views their problems as gifts from HaKadosh Baruch Hu is a person that's connected to HaKadosh Baruch Hu. your heart saved in heart surgery. You wouldn't have the ability to walk again after back surgery. You wouldn't have birth. Your children wouldn't be born. All types of things that you have to experience involve this blood, this pain, but are actually necessary. A person that views their problems as gifts from HaKadosh Baruch Hu is a person that's connected to HaKadosh Baruch Hu.

58:37person that views problems in their life as punishments is a person that's disconnected from HaKadosh Baruch Hu. Why? Because even if it is a rebuke for something that you did wrong, You looked where you weren't supposed to look. You took what didn't belong to you. You said what you weren't supposed to say. And Hashem is rebuking you. He's not rebuking you for the sake of punishing you in this world. There's a much better place that He created that's designed for punishment. It's not in this world. There's Gehenom, there's Kaf HaKela, there's Chibut HaKeveR, there's other places that are designed for punishment. This world was not designed for punishment. This world was designed in order to help you fix whatever needs fixing. So when HaKadosh Baruch Hu is giving you a difficulty, that means He is directing you to go in a different direction. Just like Rabbi Chaim Volozhin said, anytime you have a pain, whether it's in your pocket, your hand, your head, or your leg...

59:49Regardless of where it is, that is an indication of something that you need to change. And HaKadosh Baruch Hu can direct you either through the stick or the staff. Just like David HaMelech says that whether it's the stick or the staff, he knows that he can rely on HaKadosh Baruch Hu. Because one way or another, HaKadosh Baruch Hu is going to direct him. Because if we listen to the Torah, and we listen to the holy sages, they are telling us to view the problems that we have as HaKadosh Baruch Hu speaking to us and trying to help us go in a different direction. Help us. Realize that we need this difficulty for one reason or another. You need this difficulty because it will create much bigger relief down the road. You need this short-term pain in order to bring long-term relief. You need this short-term agony in order to bring long-term pleasure. You need this short-term difficulty in order to bring major success down the road. You need this short-term...

1:01:04agony because it could literally save your life. There are a lot of different things that can come from all of these difficulties, but also, there are certain lessons that a person can learn—valuable lessons that a person can learn from every single difficulty—that are impossible to teach if not for the difficulty. And that's why the Chovot HaLevavot is telling us there are three reasons that a person is miserable. These three reasons are the reasons why he's ungrateful to HaKadosh Baruch Hu. When a person is ungrateful to HaKadosh Baruch Hu for the difficulties that he has, that means that he thinks that HaKadosh Baruch Hu owes him something. He has confused his role in this relationship. He thinks that HaKadosh Baruch Hu owes him something. He thinks that HaKadosh Baruch Hu is supposed to give him something. And he doesn't realize that HaKadosh Baruch Hu gives you even without you asking.

1:02:05The question is, do you know how to receive? Do you know what you are receiving? If a person knows how to receive and how to perceive HaKadosh Baruch Hu's blessings, both the blessings and what seems to be a curse are things he's going to make a blessing of. And that's why the Gemara in Masechet Berachot says that a person needs to make a blessing. And thank HaKadosh Baruch Hu the same way, both for the blessings and the curses. Why? Because in the end, they're all good. They're all for your benefit. He's not giving you that pain in your foot, or that pain in your pocket, or that pain in your heart, or that pain anywhere else for the sake of torturing you. He's doing it in order to direct you. Now, you could have been directed by listening to the lecture, by reading the books, by studying Torah, and already knowing what you need to do in life. So you could have been directed by the staff, the staff of the Torah, our shepherds. We have the Sukkot, we have all the shepherds, the seven shepherds coming to us during Sukkot. They're visiting us, they're with us right now in the Sukkah.

1:03:20These are our shepherds, whether it's Avraham, Yitzchak, Yaakov, Moshe, Aharon, David, Yosef, and even Shlomo. These are the shepherds. These are our shepherds. And we can listen to the Torah that was given to us by Moshe Rabbeinu at Har Sinai from HaKadosh Baruch Hu. That's the staff. On the other hand, if you don't want to listen to the staff, you don't want to listen to the Torah, you don't have time for the Torah, then HaKadosh Baruch Hu has to use His other way, which is the stick. The stick hurts, but it doesn't hurt because He's punishing you with the stick. It hurts because that pain is the gift, is the lesson, is the thing that you are supposed to understand. to use in order to grow, in order to do better. If a person knows how to appreciate everything that HaKadosh Baruch Hu gave him or her, they will be able to not only fear God, but even love God. And they'll be able to be happy, not only during this extraordinary holiday of Sukkot, but they'll be able to be happy for the rest of their life.

1:04:44not just the year but the rest of their life. Hence, the reason why there's so many difficulties is because there's a big reward for it. By the same token, if a person takes this commandment to heart and says, "Okay, well, one week I'm supposed to be happy," no, no, no, Habibi. If you know how to be happy, you are not only going to be happy just during this week; you'll be happy for the rest of your life because you'll know exactly... How amazing your situation is in the world today. Well, first and foremost, you'll know that you don't need to chase anything, any desire. All you need to do is do your hishtadlut, do your best effort to serve HaKadosh Baruch Hu, to follow His Torah, and only do whatever is good. And you'll have greater joy from that good that the Torah says, both physically and spiritually, than all of the desires that the world runs after. You'll have even greater pleasure than them without running after anything. Because all that is good in the world, Hashem made a way for you to enjoy it in a kosher way.

1:06:06whether it's food, or it's intimacy, or it's luxury, or whatever it is in the world, Hashem made a kosher way for you to enjoy it. But if you make that luxury, or that lust, or that food, or whatever other... desire you have as your priority in life, you've already lost all the joy because even once you attain it, you're already going to be looking for the next. So, when a person wants to connect to HaKadosh Baruch Hu, they're giving themselves a gift. They're not giving Hashem anything; they're giving themselves the greatest gift by realizing that they don't need to chase after materialism. All they need to do is to follow the Torah and do their best to serve HaKadosh Baruch Hu to the best of my abilities because that in itself is going to enable me to enjoy this world and what Hashem created, and not just follow my Creator in servitude, praying, and learning, but also be able to enjoy physical desires in a kosher way on the other hand

1:07:19Once you decide to follow HaKadosh Baruch Hu, you'll know that you're not entitled to anything. In fact, you'll be able to appreciate everything you already have. You'll be able to appreciate everything you have because you'll realize that this world, although it's a temporary world... it's full of blessings that you already have. You have working eyes, you have working arms, you have a working body, you have all types of gifts. And all of them are really gifts. And you'll be able to enjoy each and every single one of these gifts without necessarily missing the point of life and thinking that somehow you're supposed to get anything. Because you'll see every single thing that you get as a gift. Last but not least, if a person wants to serve HaKadosh Baruch Hu the right way, in the highest possible way, they'll even see their difficulties as opportunities. And there is no greater gift that you can give yourself than that. Because once you see your difficulties as opportunities to grow,

1:08:43closer to Hashem, to grow as a person, to grow as a husband, to grow as a wife, to grow as a son, to grow as a daughter, to grow as a Jew, to grow as a human being. Once you see your difficulties as opportunities, because these are all tools that Hashem, in essence, put into the world, then you'll see life from a very, very different perspective than everybody else. You'll see life from a perspective where there is no such thing as bad. There are just different types of opportunities. And b'ezrat Hashem, each and every single one of us will be able to take advantage of these different types of opportunities to not only attain happiness and be happy, but also serve our Creator to the utmost of our abilities in such a fashion that the nachat that we want for ourselves, we're also creating a nachat for our Creator, who doesn't need anything from us but certainly is happy to see that His children are doing what He wants and what He willed for them, for their own benefit. Thank you very much for learning with me. May Hashem bless each and every single one of you to have a happy, happy Chol HaMoed that's literally a Chol HaMoed.

1:10:09It's full of blessing, full of hatzlacha. As I said, anyone that wants to attend the event next week, you have to contact me. My number and information is very public, so it's very easy to get. And B'ezrat Hashem, we'll do our best to get you tickets. We made some more room, but not much more. So try to do it as soon as possible. Anyone that wants to donate to our organization to help us, not only with the... This is my friend Rabbi Yaron Reuven, who dedicated himself and devoted himself. And therefore, my dear friends, I want to surprise him here tonight. I need from you ten, either boys or girls, who will learn the Shas in one year. Seven days a week, three and a half hours a day. With the help of Hashem, they will be honored in a respectable place, from an organization with the help of Hashem. Shas in one year. Whoever is the first, the first will come to the table of the mission with excitement, with excitement. Baruch Hashem. Seven students of Torah who have taken upon themselves the completion of the Shas.

1:11:37Shabbat shalom. Shabbat shalom.