Torah Basics Explained: Rules for Prayer (26 Minutes)

1:03The next thing is to understand that to be part of a community, to be part of a congregation is critical when it comes to prayer. Because unfortunately, most of us can't have 100% kavanah when we pray. Sometimes we pray, and we have kavanah, we feel close to Hashem, we feel like we're on fire. Imagine, you have a meeting with the king. Are you going to hurry him up? No, you're not. You will say, "Hey, no, tell me what you want." No, come on, king. Tell me what you want. Now you're going to take your time. "Your highness, thank you for doing this. Thank you for doing that. Thank you for meeting me. What do you think of the weather, your highness? What do you think of this?" You would talk about everything. You have an opportunity to meet with the King of Kings. Are you going to hurry it up for six minutes? Of course not. You will take the time to appreciate the moment.

2:32No king, I'm busy. Go, go. So first and foremost, we have to understand that our tefillah by ourselves is not always 100%. And Chazal tell us that when our tefillah is not very good, it hits a roadblock in shamayim. I'm sure you all heard this. Why do we pray with a minyan? Because Hashem has mercy on us, and He knows what His creation is. At least if you pray with a minyan, I'm going to take the best piece of each one and make it into one prayer. What is it like? Rabbi Bunim of Peshischa said, what is this like? This is like comparing giving somebody an old ugly coin as payment.

3:32Or giving you a bunch of coins that are okay with one ugly coin in it. If you have one ugly coin that's almost broken, you'll say, "Do me a favor, give me something else. Give me a different bill." You know, sometimes you want to pay somebody, and you give them a crumpled, half-ripped $20 bill. And the guy's like, "Give me a regular $20, please. Tape this one; do something. Give me this homeless $20." Give me a regular twenty dollars, right? But if you give the guy a wad of a thousand bucks, and there's a few homeless ones inside that are ripped, that are crumpled, that are this, you think he's going to say give me different ones? No. Why? Because it's in there, it's part of the whole khaburah, it's part of the package. It's fine. That's our tefillah. That's our tefillah. If it's just you by yourself and your prayer is without proper intention, Hashem is going to say, "Give me something else, do me a favor. Give me something else, I don't want this." Being part of a minyan, a minyan that is kosher—not made up of mechalei Shabbat or reshaim—you need at least ten kosher people in there. Then, my friend, even if there are a couple who are not so good,

4:45It's okay. We'll let it pass. It's good enough here. I'll take the best piece from each one. What's your question? I read in the book that if you weigh your deeds, you have like a 0.1% chance of your prayer being answered. Okay. If you don't weigh your deeds, even if you pray by yourself, you will still get answered only if you're in a minyan. By yourself, it's very, very hard to get your prayers answered if you don't have kavanah. If you don't have kavanah, you have a very, very serious problem. So Sani likes Gemara, so I try to bring some Gemara now. It says something very, very interesting. The first thing, just in general, sometimes you hear people sneeze. If you're Sephardic, you believe in everything that's mystical; if you're Ashkenazi, it's 50 percent.

5:47So people think sometimes, oh, you did this, maybe it's a bad sign, maybe it's a bad omen—everybody looks for signs. Even though Hashem said to Avraham Avinu, don't look for signs, we still look for signs in everything. So, somebody sneezes in shul. What do you think it is, Amos? Is it good or bad? If he sneezes in shul? Bad. Sani, what do you think? He sneezed in the middle of prayer—you're meeting with the King of Kings, the King of Kings. Now, what's the biggest nightmare? I'll tell you a fact. What is the biggest nightmare that presidents have, and kings have, when they're about to meet another king? To sneeze in the middle of the meeting. Why? Because when you sneeze, you show that you have a lack of control over your body. What's a president supposed to do? Show that you control the entire country! The entire world! But you sneeze, and your whole body, you can't control it. You look like a little, you know, like you have some type of disease.

7:08And everybody's like, ugh, you know, maybe he's got a cold, maybe it's something else, like, I don't really want to, do I have to shake your hand? How about this, give the guy a fist bump. And this guy in the corner, he never shakes anybody's hand. He's like, you know, he's one of those people who prefer the elbow bump. I said, don't give anything, just say hi, and that's it. You don't have to, it's actually weirder that you're giving people who are 60 years old a fist bump. Either shake the hand or just say hello, or nod or something. Yeah, yeah, strange people, strange people. So, it's considered a bad thing. A president doesn't want to sneeze. If Putin is going to meet Trump, and Trump sneezes, it's not going to be very comfortable. They're going to cut that out of the video. If Hashem wants him to sneeze, he'll sneeze. But the Gemara says something very surprising. Okay? It says labriyot. That's why we say labriyot, by the way. Chazal says the reason why we say labriyot, to health, is because in the old days, in the times of Yaakov Avinu, before Hashem made people get old. Before Yaakov Avinu, they didn't get old. Everybody looked the same. They reached 25 years old, that's it, they wouldn't age anymore. You're 150 years old, you look 25. So how did they die? Eventually, one day the time was over. But they didn't get sick. So what did they do? One day they would sneeze, die. On the spot.

8:37So everybody would say, oh, you know, a guy sneezes, he's going to die. So from that point on, anytime somebody sneezes, they say, labriyut, so you live. That's where it came from. But actually the Gemara in Masechet Berachot, page 24b, it says, "amitatesh betfilato siman yafeh lo," one who sneezes from his nose during his prayer, it is a good omen for him. It's good. Lama, it's good. Just like they give him satisfaction below, meaning in this world, so do they give him satisfaction in Heaven. Meaning, just like sneezing is actually a form of enjoyment, it's a form of enjoyment. You're cleaning out your nostrils. You're relieving some tension. It's very uncomfortable to have to be like one of those, for like 20 minutes, you want to sneeze but you can't. It's the most uncomfortable thing in the world. I can tell you as a public speaker, it's the worst. You look a little bit awkward. You look like something's wrong with you. But you just want to sneeze. I just want to sneeze. So, it says, if Hashem lets you sneeze, it's okay. He's giving you pleasure. Do you know that spice that makes you want to sneeze? Can you smell it before you pray? It's a form of enjoyment. You're clearing out your nostrils and alleviating tension. It's very uncomfortable to be in a situation where you feel a sneeze coming for like 20 minutes, but it doesn't happen. It's one of the most uncomfortable feelings. I can tell you, as a public speaker, it can be quite challenging. You might look awkward, like something's amiss, but in reality, you just want to sneeze. So, it says, if Hashem allows you to sneeze, it’s okay. He’s providing you with some pleasure. You know that spice they give you that makes you want to sneeze? Are you allowed to smell it before you pray?

10:00Okay, no, it's not for the sneezing person, not for the sneezing purposes. They give it to you, maybe it satiates your hunger or things like that, but they say, just like they let you enjoy from it, they give you enjoyment while you're praying. They're also accepting your prayer, and that's a good sign. But what's the Mussar here? We have a problem in our generation. We have people, he says, if you sneeze. Sneezing is something that happens naturally, meaning you're not intentionally sneezing. It happens. In today's lack of Mussar world, when we don't teach Mussar in Batei Knesset, when we are scared to mention even the words Yirat Shamayim, you have people that go to Beit Knesset, and what do they do? They blow their nose for 20 minutes in the middle of tefillah. First of all, it's extremely distracting. I'm trying to pray to Hashem, the King of Kings. I'm trying, like, Hashem, help me. Hashem, people have diseases. People are getting divorces. People are sick. People are this. People are that. Then there's this guy blowing his nose like he's a fountain. 20 minutes he's blowing his nose. How much do you have in there?

11:29So first of all, it's very distracting. Second of all, it's complete disrespect not only to the kehillah but also to Hashem. You're going into His house, the place where everybody's praying. You go inside the Beit HaMikdash right next to the Kodesh HaKodeshim. The Kohen HaGadol is about to pray, and if he thinks the wrong thing, he dies, and the entire nation gets punished. He thinks the wrong thing, and you're with your nose. Everybody is trying to pray, "Hashem, help us." There are kings going against us. The entire world just voted that Israel is an illegal country. We're on the verge of war on any given day. We're on the verge of pogroms on any given day, Hashem yerachem. All Jews are so comfortable in America, in Europe, in Israel, everywhere, we're so comfortable. We were all so comfortable 70 years ago. We were all so comfortable 250 years ago. We were all so comfortable 500 years ago. We were all so very comfortable 2000 years ago. Very comfortable. Until Hashem made it uncomfortable.

12:51I'm trying to get HaShem to give mercy, and you're blowing your nose. Go to the bathroom, you selfish person. Go to the bathroom. I don't want to hear your snotty nose, because aside from it being disgusting, it's a lack of respect for the kehillah and a lack of respect for HaShem. Now, because we're so politically correct, and we're so scared of, like, you know, offending someone, chas v'shalom, he might actually do teshuva and stop being a rasha. Instead, he's interfering with everybody's tefillah, and we don't do anything. So, what happens? There are actually a few people I know in the beit knesset, one specific person. Somehow, he always manages to sit right next to me, or about three rows up. And every time, right before the tefillah, Oh man, it's like there's a fountain connected to his head that comes out of his nose. Five minutes straight, he's blowing his nose. I can't take it; I had to leave the beit knesset. I don't understand—go somewhere else! Go to the bathroom! Why do you have to blow your nose inside the beit knesset and always at the same time? There's something wrong with you. I mean, maybe you should go see a doctor.

14:14It's that much? Every day you have to blow your nose that much? Five minutes straight? A thousand people in tefillah, this guy sits next to me. I get these tikkunim. So first and foremost, a message to all of you nose blowers: go to the bathroom. Just like you wouldn't blow your nose in front of the CEO of the company that you work for. Just like you wouldn't blow your nose in front of a king of a country. Just like you wouldn't blow your nose in front of a shidduch if you're trying to impress a woman or you're trying to impress a man. And say, hey, how are you? My name is David. Hold on a second. Shake your hand. Who wants to touch you? Go wash your hands. Wash your face. Fix yourself. Stop blowing your nose in beit knesset. Go outside, finish, and then come back. I'm not saying you have tzaraat, but don't make me feel like you do with five minutes of blowing your nose. Enough. It's disgusting and disturbing. That's the second thing we learned from this Gemara. It's not so bad. We're going to make a clip out of this one and call it the 911 for all the nose blowers. Okay, so now...

15:45In the same Gemara, it talks about how to pray. Tefilat Shemoneh Esrei. Amidah means Tefilat Shemoneh Esrei. It means the core foundation of Tefilah. We have to do it three times a day as a man, and at least once a day for women. Women, since they're not bound to doing the mitzvot that are bound to time, can choose whichever one they want. It's recommended to do the tefillah of shacharit for women, but it's not mandatory. You could do shacharit, you could do mincha, or you could do arvit. But you have to do it according to Shulchan Aruch. You must do one Amidah per day. And as far as Shema Yisrael, you should recite the entire Shema once per day. However, if time is limited due to responsibilities like taking care of children, you must at least say "Shema Yisrael, Hashem Elokeinu, Hashem Echad" — just the first verse. But regarding the Amidah, you should pray it at least once a day as a woman. If you can pray more, all the better. After all, who wouldn't want more meetings with Hashem? Now, it says here,

17:00Ha-mashmi'a hakolo b'tfilato harei zeh mi'katanei ha'emunah. One who allows his voice to be heard while reciting his prayer, he is one of those who has little faith. Wait a minute. I'm praying out loud, trying to get into it. Screaming "amen"! Yehei shmei rabba mevorach. He says, I have no emunah. What do you mean? I'm excited, I'm blessed, I'm celebrating, happy, happy. No? First of all, we have to understand this is talking about tefillah. It's talking about Shemoneh Esrei. It's talking about Amidah. So amar Rav Huna. Rav Huna said, לא שנו אלא שיכול לכוון את ליבו בלחש. The rabbis did not teach this, except in the case of one who is able to concentrate while praying quietly. Such a person may not pray out loud. אבל אם אינו יכול לכוון את ליבו בלחש, מותר, he is allowed to pray out loud.

18:23However, these words are stated only in the case of one who prays alone. But in the case of one who prays with a congregation, even if he can't concentrate when praying quietly, he may not pray out loud, since he will come thereby to confuse the congregation. Explanation: Now according to Chazal, when you pray, you're actually supposed to say the words out loud. You're supposed to say them out loud so that you can hear yourself, not so the entire community hears it. If you're a Baal Teshuva, and you're just starting out, it may take a little time to get used to it. But in general, you have to pray loud enough for you alone to hear it. In the Gemara, it says...

19:24If you're praying and you can't concentrate, whether you're by yourself or not with a kehillah, and you're thinking about the game, your job, your boss, your girlfriend, or all these shtuyot (foolish things), then you have to get into it. One of the ways to get into it is to actually say the words louder. Concentrate by saying the words out loud, so you end up using multiple senses. First and foremost, you use your speech. And you're also using your ears to hear yourself. By using more senses, you can actually connect to the prayer even more. That’s why when studying Torah, you should study out loud. It helps your memory because you’re using multiple senses. When Bruriah, the wife of Rabbi Meir Baal HaNes, saw an avrech, one of the tzadikim in the kollel, studying Torah but reading to himself, she kicked his chair and said, "Don't you know that you can't study Torah without saying it out loud? You're not going to remember anything. You're just wasting your time. It's like tochen mayim, grinding water." Bruriah was a tzadeket, very zealous.

20:51So anyway, it says if you can't get concentration, pray out loud. Get into it as loud as you need to completely focus. And I can tell you from personal experience, the best prayers I've ever had have been by myself when I do it out loud. But the Gemara says something very, very critical at the end. He says, this only pertains if you're praying alone. If you're praying alone, you can pray out loud. But if you're praying with a kehillah, you're praying with a congregation, under no condition can you pray out loud. It doesn't matter if you can't concentrate. It's better that you don't pray at all than disturb the entire kehillah. With your out-loud prayer, you know somebody wants to be like an extra tzadik. You know you always have one of these people in the beit knesset. He's an extra tzadik, so he makes all these strange moves. Sometimes he's extra loud, sometimes he's like this, and he's like moving, and you think he's in a trance. You think he's high on something, and he makes all these faces. It's like there's something wrong with him, or he's just deeply connected to Hashem.

22:15You don't need all that. You don't need all that pantomime. Pray like a normal human being. Don't be so distracting to everyone else. Hashem knows that you mean it even when you don't make these strange sounds. Hashem knows that you mean it even when you don't move and hit everybody next to you. He knows you mean it. He knows it's okay. But most importantly, the Gemara is teaching you to stop being selfish. If you're part of a congregation, like Hillel says, then you have to care about the congregation, not just care about yourself. You have to act as if all of our prayers are important, not just yours. You feel you have to do it extra loud because you can't have kavanah if you don't do it loudly? Yes, but then you're going to ruin thirty other people's prayer if you do it loud because they can't concentrate on their prayer if they're listening to you. So stop being selfish. thirty other people's prayer if you do it loud because they can't concentrate on their prayer if they're listening to you. So, stop being selfish. Just like the nose blowers before. Oh, I have to clear up; come on, I have a sinus infection. Okay, sinus infection outside. Finish with the sinus infection, then come back inside. Also, by the way, you're not allowed to go to the Beit Knesset if you're sick. A lot of people get colds and think they're doing a mitzvah by going to the Beit Knesset. It's not a mitzvah; it's an aveirah.

23:39It's actually a sin. You're going to get other people sick. Stay home. It's 100%. You're not allowed to jeopardize other people's lives for your mitzvah. There's no mitzvah. You can't make a mitzvah by doing an aveirah. I had this guy, I saw him one time, and you know, he's like, "Hey, how are you? How are you doing? Everything great, great, great." He sees my baby daughter, wants to hug her, wants to kiss her. Two minutes later, I see the guy is sneezing everywhere. He's like, "Oh yeah, yeah, I just had pneumonia." You just held my kid. You had pneumonia. What do you think, you're doing me a favor by holding her right now? Your chesed should not come at the expense of others' wellbeing. People have no consideration for the congregation. They have no consideration for the world around them. Why? Because they don't listen to Hillel. Hillel says, don't separate yourself from the congregation. Not just physically, but mentally. You have to constantly think about everyone around you. You're either going to be a kiddush Hashem or a chillul Hashem. The kippah is not going to help you. The beard is not going to help you. Your actions will. If you act like a tzaddik...

25:01You're going to care about your surroundings, but if you're one of those fakers who wears the hat and the beard and everything else, but goes to casinos on the weekend, it's better off you don't do anything. To separate ourselves from the community, this is just the first small part of this Mishnah. Already, we see how many different parts of our lives it pertains to.