Wasting Seed--Teshuva Details & Secret For Toughest Addictions (16 Min)

0:11When does a person create the most amount of destructive spirits? Every time somebody commits a sin, he is creating a destructive spirit. However, there is one type of sin that creates an enormous amount of destructive spirits, and that is wasting seed. When a man wastes seed, he is creating hundreds of millions of destructive spirits—hundreds and hundreds of millions of them. Each one of those seeds is a destructive spirit that's standing right next to him, looking for an opportunity to punish him for it. Why? It says, "Abba, how come you didn't give me a body?" Abba, where's my body? Abba, my body. Hey, yo, what? And then Abba has a child with a body. What does he want to do? He wants to hurt the child now. Why? He's jealous of the child. This is why until this day in Yerushalayim, there's a halacha that children are not allowed to go into the cemetery with their father. When their father passes away, chas v'shalom, they are not allowed to bring their father's aron into the cemetery. Why? Those destructive spirits may harm them. This is mamash a halacha. This is not like, oh, yeah, some people do this. No, no, mamash, it's not allowed. Why? It's 100% real.

1:36Also, you should know this is the reason why when you go and have an aliyah in Beit Knesset, you have an aliyah in Beit Knesset and they tell you a Bezalel ben, you say Amos ben, Yaron ben, and we always say usually the ima. Why the ima? Why? Father's no good? What's wrong with the father? Why? Father's no good? For the tzaddik, what's wrong with the father? He says if the father is still alive, there's a chashash, meaning there's a doubt—maybe he wasted seed. So he has no merits yet until he does teshuva. We have to use the mother because she didn't waste any seed. That's why we use the mother. That's why we use the mother. We only use the father after he passes. That's the reason why those destructive spirits are mamash next to us; they're next to us. Yes.

2:38Yes, and no. The difference between someone who wastes seed on purpose versus someone who wastes seed in a dream is the level of punishment. When it is done on purpose, it is called "mezid," meaning it's a purposeful sin. For that, if a person dies without doing teshuva, as we talked about in our shiur, they enter Gehinnom and never leave. Yeah, it's one of the three worst possible sins in all of Judaism and the entire Torah. It's a very, very serious sin, and people must do teshuva. In reality, every single man must take this into account and do teshuva for it separately from everything else. It's not a regular teshuva, which I'll talk about momentarily. if it's a nocturnal emission, or what they call a wet dream, and there is sperm that leaves the body during a dream because of some dream that they had, then it's not meizid. It's not a purposeful sin, but nonetheless, it's still a sin. Why? The Gemara in Masechet Ta'anit says, watch your eyes in the morning so sin doesn't come to you at night, and

3:53What does it mean sin doesn't come to you at night? The only reason you have wet dreams is because you don't watch your eyes during the day. Now, sometimes a person does watch his eyes, but he still has it. Anyone that has done real teshuva for wasting seed, which is a very, very serious and difficult teshuva, but nonetheless possible. The Rambam himself says it's the most difficult thing in the world to do teshuva for. It's the most difficult sin, because it's very addictive and... Nonetheless, it is possible, as HaShem did not create a world where you can't do teshuvah. He wants you to do teshuvah, and He gives you help to do teshuvah. Like we talked about at the beginning of this shiur, someone who wants to do teshuvah is helped by HaShem. So now, doing teshuvah, usually, there are a lot of ups and downs in the beginning. You know, so a person will stop... you know, for a month, or a week, or a day, whatever he stops for, and then he goes back. He does it again, and he stops again for a month, and then again, and then he goes a little longer next time—it's three months—and then again. Or even if he stops completely for a while, and then after six months he breaks, and then again he goes for a year, and then he breaks, or perhaps he stops completely, but he still has the dreams that end up having a seminal emission.

5:15But those seminal emissions during the dream become less and less over time, as the body itself recovers and the soul recovers. Also, as Hashem sees that you're very serious about your teshuva, He helps you more and more. But it's not an easy sin to rectify. It's not like Shabbat, for example, where you just keep Shabbat, and you sleep all day on Shabbat, and you're fine. I Fixing your middot takes a long time, and many of the big chachamim say that's the tikkun of the dor. That's the main thing to do teshuva for in this last generation, and So when someone has a wasting seed during a dream of some type, it's still a sin. They have to do teshuvah for it, but it's not considered b'meized, it's not considered purposeful. However, it's still considered a sin because it is a result of their actions, even if it's something you saw six months ago and... Even if right now you have been guarding your eyes for six months, you still had that dream, and it still led to that. Why? It's because of something you saw six months ago, a year ago, or even two years ago. Until Hashem gives you the Siyata Dishmaya to erase it, to erase all of that bad stuff from your neshama, you have to have really serious teshuva. Now, the good news is that doing teshuva for it is very much possible.

6:37the death of a dead person, says Hashem Elokim. Do teshuva, return yourselves and you'll live. Do teshuva and you'll live. First of all, we have the explanation of this verse. What does it mean, "I don't want the death of a dead person"? How does a dead person die? And second of all, what does returning have to do with living? Death of a dead person says Hashem Elokim: "Do teshuvah, return yourselves and you'll live. Do teshuvah and you'll live." First of all, we have the explanation of this verse. What does it mean, "I don't want the death of a dead person"? How does a dead person die? And second of all, what does returning have to do with living? So the Mepharshim say the following: it says when Hashem says, "I don't want the death of a dead person," He's telling you that when someone is sinning on a regular basis, someone is leading a wicked life and is not doing the will of Hashem, in the eyes of Hashem, he's considered dead. So Resha'im, even during their lives, are considered dead.

7:57Even though they're living, they may be driving, they may be doing a lot of things, but in the eyes of Hashem, they're dead. Why? Because they have no olam haba, and their life is temporary. Hashem says, "I don't have an interest, I don't have a desire, to make the dead person even more dead," meaning I don't have a desire to have this guy, who's wicked, now stay like this and have no olam haba. Let him do teshuva and he'll live. What do you mean, he'll live? Live forever with me, you'll have Olam Haba. By the way, this is one of the sources. A lot of people ask, "What are the sources in the Torah for Olam Haba?" This is one of the many, many sources in the Torah for Olam Haba. He says, "Let him do Teshuvah and live." Let him do Teshuvah and live. Now, how do we do Teshuvah? What are the ingredients? Now, the verse before this is... Explains the key ingredient to do in Teshuva, the key ingredient to do in Teshuva especially for wasting seed. Now when you arrive in Shamayim and you tell Him, "Listen, I did Teshuva. I kept Shabbat, kosher, Taharat Mishpacha, everything was good. I watched my brit." "Yes, you did all of that, but you have Shabbat missing for five years and..."

9:14know you didn't keep your mouth for five years, or you didn't, you know, before you did, or you didn't keep your mouth for 20 years, or you didn't watch your brit for 20 years, so you have to make that up. So first and foremost, to do teshuva, you have to do a few things. Number one: stop sinning; simple enough, simple to understand. Two: regret the sin, talk to Hashem, and say, "Listen, I know what I did was wrong; I'm sorry." How many times, as long as you still feel pain from it? If you feel that what you did was wrong, keep saying, "I'm sorry." This is what hitbodedut is about. For example, hitbodedut is supposed to be really about a personal and sincere connection; it's not just supposed to be about asking Hashem for millions of dollars, as some people might mistakenly think. For example, Rabbi Nachman of Breslov and others talk about hitbodedut. In reality, hitbodedut is not just about asking for things; Hashem is not Santa Claus. It's about doing teshuva. If you say "I'm sorry," you're opening the gates of heaven. Why? You're showing Hashem that it's good for Him to forgive you. Why? Because you do teshuva. He wants to forgive you more than anyone else. So doing teshuva is the second aspect of saying "I'm sorry." Now, how do you make up for that lost time before teshuva? The other verse...

10:42Gives you the exact secret again. Book of Yechezkel. This is chapter 18, starts with verse 30. The word of Hashem says: return and bring others back from all your transgressions so that they not be for you an obstacle of iniquity. Cast off upon yourselves all the transgressions through which you have transgressed and make for yourselves a new heart and a new spirit. Why should you die, O house of Israel? So, at the end of the verse, He’s telling you: I don’t want you to die. Why should you just die like this, you know, without returning to God? But how do I do teshuva? You do teshuva and bring the others with you, meaning do kiruv. You have to do kiruv in order to do teshuva, you must. Why? He says right here, so they are not an obstacle of iniquity for you. What does it mean that they're not an obstacle of iniquity for you? A few reasons, a few things. Number one, it could be that one of your actions caused other people to sin, and

12:06You brought a few people down with you; a few other people started violating Shabbat. That's number one. If you are immodest, you cause other people to behave that way also. So you have to do it. You have to get them to do teshuva. That's number one. Number two, number two, that's how you make up for that missing ingredient. If you come up to the Shamayim with five, ten, or twenty years of missing Shabbat or wasting seed, you haven't watched your mitzvot for 20 years. How do you fix it? Yechezkel the Prophet tells you to get somebody else to do teshuva for wasting seed, and get somebody else to do teshuva for Shabbat. Why? Every time they keep that mitzvah, it goes to your credit also. So now every Shabbat for you is two Shabbatot. Every time he watches you breathe, it's like watching your breath. If he were to do it five times a day like a machine, then it's like you watch your breath five times. That means instead of having a deficit of five, ten, or twenty years that you missed out on because you didn't do it, you show up to shamayim (heaven) with a surplus, all the extra mitzvot that you have. This is why the Chovot HaLevavot is important. We said it on Sunday, but it's worth repeating again.

13:25The Rabbeinu Bachya, almost a thousand years ago in Shaarei Ahavat Hashem, Perek Vav, says even if somebody reaches such a high level to fix his own neshama in front of his Creator, and even if he has reached the point where he has refined it so well that he looks like an angel... He looks like the Prophet Moshe Rabbeinu in his middot hatovot, in his good middot, in his good behavior, and how much he sacrifices himself in front of Hashem Yitbarach. And he has this pure love for Hashem. Even if someone has refined themselves to that extent, he became a little mini Moshe Rabbeinu. She became a little Sarah Imenu. says even though his merits will never be like someone who gets other people to come back to Hashem, it will never be like someone who makes the wicked go back and serve Hashem—never, not maybe, never. You could learn Torah, you can kollel, learn from morning to night, and somehow invent 48 hours in a day and...

14:46says it still, even if you had Moshe Rabbeinu, he still would not be as great as someone who gets people to do teshuva. Now, getting people to do teshuva does not only mean being a speaker—it also means giving out a CD, or giving a dollar to buy the CD. It also includes arranging a lecture where 25, 50, 100, 500, or 1,000 people show up, and somebody does teshuva. You get people to do teshuva. There's nobody better than you in the world. There's nothing you can do greater than this. Now, who is this Chovot HaLevavot? Rabbeinu Bachya ibn Paquda, not Rabbi Yosef Karo, alav hashalom. Rabbi Yosef Karo, alav hashalom, wrote the Shulchan Aruch. He had a book separate from the Shulchan Aruch called Maggid Meisharim, which was his journal of the conversations between him and the Malach, which was his chavruta. He had an angel that was his chavruta. And the angel told him to study Mussar every day. What is Mussar? Study