What Did The Chatam Sofer Ztl Say About Leniencies

0:14Regarding Selichot, page 48, he says in Sefer Devarim, the book of Deuteronomy, it says in chapter 29 verse 17, "long verse." Chapter 29, verse 17, says: "Perhaps there is among you a man or a woman or a family or a tribe whose heart turns away today from being with Hashem, our God, to go and serve the gods of those nations. Perhaps there is among you a root flourishing with gall and wormwood." So the Chasam Sofer asks, why is the Torah...

1:15says, perhaps there is among you a man or a woman or a family or a tribe whose heart turns away today from being with Hashem, our God, to go and serve the gods of those nations. Perhaps there is among you a root flourishing with gall and wormwood. So the Chatam Sofer says, why is the Torah lengthening this sentence so much? I mean, it's three lines. Why not just bottom-line it and say, is there any one of you worshipping idols? Lengthening this sentence so much. I mean, it's three lines. Why don't you just get to the bottom line and say, is there anyone among you worshipping idols? Because we need some shish kebab and a barbecue in the Beit Hamikdash. We'll put you there if you want. Anyone of you worshipping idols, Yoshke, Buddha, something, anyone of you? Hatam Sofer asks. It's a legitimate question. What's the whole thing? It's one of you, or somebody's family, or somebody's father, or mother, or tribe, or this, or that. Just say, anyone worshipping idols. Tachlis, bottom line. Get to the bottom line. What's the extra?

2:25Chatam Sofer says because the reality of the questions being asked right now is not about idolatry. It's about the process of idolatry. How do you get to idolatry? Chatam Sofer says Are you involved with any simple leniencies that will eventually lead you to become an idol worshiper? Where a person might say, "This mitzvah, it's not a big deal. I don't have to do it 100%. I can be lenient with this one. With that one, I can be lenient on that one." A guy's daughter comes to him and she asks, "Abba, can I go to the mall?" Well, my friends, no, Tzadikah, you know we don't go to the mall. First of all, that mall operates on Shabbat. Everyone there is a Mechalel Shabbat. And second of all, the whole mall is full of places selling immodest clothing and pritzut, and so on. That's not for tzadikim. Oh, Abba, Abba, all my friends are going. Honey, you can't go to the mall. It's not for us. Come on, you stay at the house. You know, help Ima a little bit. It's not for us to go to the mall. I mean, that's not, come on.

3:47No, Abba, what am I going to do all day? All my friends are going. No, Abba. Okay, okay, okay. You know what? Go quickly. Come back quickly. Okay, Abba. Thank you. I love you. What's that? Small leniency. Small leniency. Why? He didn't want to get annoyed. He didn’t want to get annoyed by his daughter. Okay, go. To someone that's not really... You're supposed to go. They're not supposed to go there. But go, it's not that big of a deal, okay? Her friends are going. Her friends are going after her. She's not going by herself. She's not going by herself. She's not going davka to eat non-kosher. She's not going davka to go buy not modest clothes. She's got one of her friends to go, I don't know, get her a coffee or something from the kosher place. What's the big deal? Why don't you see? It's not a small issue. Rabbi, Chatam Sofer says, Rabbi, everyone's doing it. What can I do? He says, what can I do? Chatam Sofer says, what can I do? Everyone's doing it. Wait, blame me? Everyone's doing it. This leniency, it's not such a big deal. Chatam Sofer says, he says, those types of leniencies where in reality you know it's not the right thing to do. It's allowed. Allowed.

5:08You're not really supposed to do it—allowed to go where we're not really supposed to go, though you know it's not the best thing. You're allowed to eat, but you really shouldn't. Allowed to go, but you really shouldn't. Why? It's not for you. Why? You're a tzaddik trying to be a tzaddik. You should be a tzaddik; you want to go to Gan Eden. allowed, but you shouldn't do it. He says those types of leniencies are what's going to lead a person to eventually fall when the real test arises, and he will have no defense system. Why? Because he doesn't even limit the allowed. Needless to say, when the not allowed comes, he has no defense system. When the not allowed comes, they don't know how to defend themselves. She doesn't know how to defend herself. And guess what? Eventually, they follow the Yetzer Hara everywhere. And like the Gemara in Masechet Shabbat says, they worship an idol. Why? If you want to be an ish kasher, you have to even restrict the allowed. Why? That's what it takes.

6:18Because when you do such a thing, you say to your daughter, "Honey, you can go to a place that's not exactly for religious people." Don't be surprised if one day she says, "Abba, I want you to meet my friend." "Who's your friend? Does she go to your school?" "No, it's not a she, Abba." "What? What do you mean it's not a she?" "No, it's just Jimmy." "Jimmy, come out!" Who is Jimmy? What is this drawing on his face? No, it's not a drawing, Abba. It's a tattoo. Isn't he nice? Isn't he artistic? Who is this Jimmy? Who is this Jimmy? Who are you, Jimmy? No, no, no. Hi, sir. Hi, sir. Hi, sir. Mister. I'm not a mister. I'm a rabbi. Hi, rabbi mister. Hi, mister rabbi. Who is your father? I don't know him. I don't know him. What yeshiva did you go to? I don't work in a yeshiva. What is that? Is that a food? No, a school. Oh no, no, I dropped, I got a GED, Mr. Rabbi, sir. What? Why do you keep calling me Rabbi, sir? Are you Jewish? No. Why, do I have to be Jewish? Hashem yishmor v’yatzil.

7:43Where did you meet? Where did you meet my daughter? Oh, no, she one day came to the mall and I was selling, you know, jewelry; there was a good deal - five dollars. Oh, I saw your daughter and I thought she looked really cute. Get out of my house! No, Abba, he's my friend. Do you know how many of these stories happen every single day? 80%. of the Jews in America is intermarriage. That's how the story starts. One leniency, and eventually, everything's gone. Intermarriage is not an accident. It's a systematic attack by the Yetzer Hara himself to make you make the small mistakes. Why? So eventually he could destroy the whole thing. And when a person says, no, no, come on, this rabbi, you know, he's kind of entertaining, but it's not going to happen to me. Shalom Yehli, the Pasuk says, peace will be upon me. HaKadosh Baruch Hu Himself says, anyone that says Shalom Yehli, I'm not going to fall, davka would fall. And I will not forgive him, He says. Pasuk in the Torah.

9:03You have such confidence that you can beat the Yetzer Hara when I told you don't mess with him. It's not going to happen to you. Tafka it is going to happen to you. And I'm not going to forgive you. Why? Because you had an attitude of arrogance. You didn't want to accept Da'at Torah. You didn't want to accept the warning from Heaven. You wanted to have your own system. Their blood is on their hands. And that's what happens on a daily basis. And you see it. You tell people, don't send their kids to a mixed school. Boys and girls are studying in the same school. They're already 7, 8, 9, 10, 11 years old. It's not a good school for Jews. It should be boys in one school, girls in a different school. "No, Rabbi, no, the rabbi is there. Nothing's happening." One day the boy comes home, 13 years old. "Ima, I got to tell you something. Ma? Ma?" You got good grades? No, no, no. It's not about my grades. What do you want, honey? What's the matter? You know that girl I told you about, the rabbi's daughter, you know? Yeah. How about if she was like, you know, like she brought you a grandkid. What do you think about that, Ima? What? Is this a joke? April Fools? What is this? Where did you learn this? You go to yeshiva. No, it's a Jewish school, Ima. It's not exactly a yeshiva. What?

10:29Do you know about kids? You're still a kid yourself. Yeah, I know. That's what I'm asking you. What do you think about that? I don't think about it. It's a nightmare. Why would I want to think about it? Well, I hope you could change your mind. She's here, and we have something to tell you. This happens every day. These are the stories we deal with on a daily basis, and every single one of them is not an accident. The Yetzer Hara has been working on it for a while. He invested in that person for 20 years before he broke him completely. One little leniency, one little party, one little cigarette, one little drive to the wrong place, one little friend that they shouldn't have had, one relationship, one anything. one thing, that's all the yetzer hara wants. Once he's got that one, it's like having, you know, a bug in somebody's room. You only have to plant it once, and you can hear everything they're going to say forever. That's how it works. That's how the yetzer hara works, and the Chasam Sofer says

11:44The biggest excuse that people have is that it's not going to happen to me. Why do they have such an excuse? Because they say, "Listen, I haven't done it yet. Look at everybody else. I'm much more religious than everybody else. I know this guy, he's dying to keep Shabbat. That girl, she doesn't even know that she's supposed to wear clothes. This guy doesn't even know what's kosher. That guy is this, this guy is that." What does he do? He compares; she compares herself to everybody else. She... That's what the Satan is telling them to do. Today, you're better than everybody else. Why are you so worried? Today, you're the most religious guy in school. Why are you so worried? Look, the rest of the class doesn't even know Aleph-Bet. You already know how to spell. The rest of the class doesn't keep Shabbat. You already know Hilchot Shabbat. The rest of the class is doing all types of things not allowed. You're a Tzaddik. No, so you can go hang out with them. You'll do kiruv. You'll do kiruv at the party. You'll do kiruv at the club. Satan plants one seed, and you let him in, finished. Why? Satan says, "I got you, and I'll come back whenever I want." That doesn't mean a person is guaranteed to lose, but it means that, for sure, they're going to have a test of a lifetime that they don't want.

13:09Had they protected themselves from the small ones, they would have actually been able to be strong enough for the big ones. And Ḥatam Sofer says, it's known that people want you to do things because they say, listen, why is it every time I ask you, you want to do this, you want to do that, you say, no, not allowed, not allowed? No, come on, let's have some unity. Why so much machloket, Rabbi? Why so much machloket? Every time, no, no, no, everything is not allowed, you know, mot yumat, death penalty, mechallel Shabbat. No, just accept everyone as they are. No, Rabbi, be a little bit more lenient, more in tune with today. Chatam Sofer says, we all know that shalom desired by non-kosher people is the beginning of the worst machloket. Because a person is telling you to make a leniency for shalom. Make a leniency to make shalom, but this is not a kosher leniency.

14:21says, "Yeah, but you're going to make this leniency because you're going to avoid makhloket." The Chatam Sofer says the opposite. That leniency that you're going to make in order to promote shalom—that's exactly what's going to create makhloket. That's exactly what's going to cause the problems. You making that leniency. Because the second you did it, the whole Torah went into the garbage. But they're going to tell you, "No, come on, be more liberal. Why so this, why so that?" When it comes to Torah, rabotai yikarim, There is no such thing. There is no such thing as using your own opinion. You just simply use what Hashem says, what the Chachamim said, and nothing else. And the Chesed L'Avraham, Rabbi Avraham Azulai, he says that people who don't make themselves holy by forbidding themselves the permissible will ultimately turn the permissible into a korban for the Satan. So much so that a person who does not pay attention to the minor details of even things that are allowed to do today, eventually he's going to turn everything into a korban (sacrifice) to the Satan. He's going to be a full-time, she's going to be a full-time employee of the Satan. And that's unfortunately what happens every single day with religious people, non-religious people, all types of people. They don't even know what happened. How did I get so far until it's so late, it's almost unrecoverable.

15:47So this is one of the things that a person needs to pay attention to. It's not always necessary to seek understanding or agreement with everything the rabbi says. It's okay if there are things you don't fully grasp. It's okay if you have reservations about a decision, as long as it's in accordance with halacha. Just follow the guidance. Why? Because ultimately, you will benefit. Constantly seeking to be right can lead to missing the bigger picture. So...