What is Life's Open Book Test?

0:34When I was young, I used to work out. In the beginning, you could barely lift a pencil. Pencils are heavy. After a while, a pencil is not heavy; you lift a box—an empty one, though. Then you lift a shoe, and eventually, you lift weights, and eventually, you can lift a house and so on and so forth. But at one point, I got to a point where... Being extremely strong during my college days, I developed a routine where warming up meant squatting an enormous amount of weight. It was literally akin to squatting a house. At one point, just to get warmed up, I would squat 400 pounds. meaning, to get started, just to, like, you know, in case you're just stretching, I had to lift 400 pounds on my back and go up and down like 20 times just to get going. So eventually I'd go up to, I don't know, half a house that I was lifting at the time. And people would always ask me, it's like,

1:49Just do less. So why don't you just stay at that level? I mean, it's already a lot. It's already a lot, 400 pounds. Most people can't lift 200. Already doing 400 units? It's unbelievable. The bar was bending at the end. By the time I finished the workout, the bar itself was bending. Why even bother? Just do what you're doing in the beginning. It's already more than everybody here already. Which thoughts the way? Showing off? I said no, it has nothing to do with showing off. Wish I could do it at the house. I don't have to go to the gym, save myself the time. So what's the point, I said? The only way it affects my body is if I keep adding more. It got to a point where you get strong enough that the old weight, the old test, no longer affects you. If I just lifted a hundred pounds, yes, it may be heavy for you. It's extremely heavy for me today and... Pencil, I'm back to the pencil now, back to the pencil. It's heavy. The pencil's having me today. Hopefully, I can lift the pencil. That's why I only have posted, no pencils today. It's the pencil. But then it got to a point where the pencil's not doing anything, and the 100 pounds aren't doing anything, and the 200 pounds aren't doing anything, and it's just not doing anything. Why bother?

3:15It had to be a lot of weight in order for it to affect the body, in order for it to rip the muscles, in order for them to grow. You know, when you work out, you actually have to rip your muscles apart. If you look at what happens under your skin, it's horrific, but it's healthy to build your muscles. Anyway, the point is that the 200 pounds didn't affect, the 300 pounds didn't affect, the 400 pounds didn't affect, and so on and so forth. Same thing goes about time with your neshama. When Hashem gave you a test when you were still young, either young in age or young in teshuva, your test was going to the beit knesset. Not even going to the beit knesset every day. Not even going to the Beit Knesset at 6 a.m., but just going to the Beit Knesset once. That was the test. Hashem said, above this, he can't do. But he can't do more. If I send him an email, saying, hey, by the way, Betzalel, you must show up every day at 6 a.m., Betzalel says, I quit. He can't handle it. Every day, I'm not even going yet. You want me to go every day at 6 a.m.? I'm sleeping at 6 a.m. At 6 a.m., I'm having my third dream. What do you want from my life at 6 a.m.?

4:35It's only my third. If I was at my sixth stream, Dad, maybe I'm all in my third dream. It's just started. Leave me alone at 6 a.m. In the beginning, just go to the minyan. That's the test. He grew up a little bit. You realize going to minyan once a week is not enough. You gotta go every day. Okay, I'm going at 10 when no one else is there. Fine, Hashem says just go. little more time passes. Okay, you got to go a little earlier. The big naso test doesn't work anymore. Okay. Now you got to learn a half hour after tefillah. If you told me that you really have to learn an hour and a half to two hours after the tefillah, but so, so I quit, I quit, I'm going back to the business at once a week. I quit. Some say no, no, I'm not gonna give you that test. Half an hour once a week. I found once a week. I But the exact same thing goes with every single one of your tests in your life. In the beginning, the biggest test was for you to do the Shema Yisrael. Then it was for you to actually understand what it means. Then it was for you to apply it in a situation of danger. Something happened in life, and you had to remember: my only hope is the Shema Yisrael.

5:56My only hope is the Shema Yisrael. I've been practicing for two years. Something happened; my only hope is not my money, not my intellect, not my friends, not my family—nothing. My only hope is the Shema, Elokeinu, Hashem Echad. I've been saying Shema Yisrael for years. Now I know what it means. Now I can use it. Now it's game time. Now it's game time. He can't tell you on day one. You need to understand that which means truly why I quit. I can't handle it; it's too heavy. Give it a pencil. It's too heavy. Hashem gives you tests in the beginning. They're small, and then they get bigger, and then they get bigger, and they get bigger, and they keep growing, and you know when they end—when your body ends. Your body in this world ends, and you now transfer to Olam HaBa. When your soul leaves your body and you go to Olam HaEmet, for all of you that are just praying to Hashem, saying "Hashem, no more tests," all you're doing is praying to die. No more tests, Hashem? Okay, die then. If you are alive, you're going to have tests. If you're alive, you're going to have tests, and the tests will get bigger, and...

7:24That's a guarantee for your money back. Go to Hashem and ask Him; He gives you a full refund, but you have to go up there. You can't stay here with us. We don't give refunds. So, the point is, all of these prayers, all I need is an easy teshuva and... need no more tests. I need no more trials and tribulations. No more money issues, no more this issue, no more that issue. No more this. No, you're praying to die. If you're alive, you will have tests. Now, what's the secret? How do you pass these tests? Test is so difficult. Just thinking about the tests that I endured in my past, I want to cry, I... Some of the things I experience in my life, and I'm sure some of the experiences you are going through now or have gone through in your life, you just think about them and want to cry. And this is actually likened to a mashal (parable) where it is said that in the times of the Mashiach, Hashem is going to show the tzadikim (righteous individuals) a huge mountain, and then Hashem will show the reshaim (wicked individuals) a small little hill. Both are going to cry.

8:45Both are gonna cry. It said he came and looked at the big mountain. Look at this mountain. What's this mountain made up of? It's made up of all the tests they had in their life. Look, in the beginning, I lost my keys. And then after that, I lost my car. And then after that, I lost the money. And then more tests kept coming. And the tests get bigger and bigger and bigger. And I stayed true to Hashem. Look how much I, look at this huge mountain. Look how much I accomplished. It was so hard. But now I'm here. They're gonna cry from reliving all the difficulty, yet the cry is of happiness that it's behind them. The shame, on the other hand, is just a small little mountain, a small little hill you can just walk over. Why is it a small little hill? Hashem says, "Look, I give you a small little test, and you aren't even willing to pass that." You would have just passed this one small test. You'd also have learned a lot. They also cry. What do they cry about? Look how close I was to having an ilulah (celebration), but now I don't. So I think sometimes about the past and all the pain and all the suffering. It's hard. It's hard.

10:10But rabotai, as long as you are still alive, you're going to have bigger tests. The tests today are preparing you for the test of tomorrow. Now, what can give you hope from this dire news that you just got now? This sounds like a horrible, horrible thing. It's not. It's actually good news. Why is it good news? Why should it be the best news you found out in your entire life? You learn from Avraham Avinu. Avraham Avinu, Rabotai, when Hashem told him, "Listen, kill your son," he understood from Hashem to kill his son and he went and tried to do so. Hashem then said, "I'm going to reward you through your son." Avraham said, "I'm going to reward my son, no problem." Whatever Hashem said, he did, no questions asked. He kept going, kept going, kept going. How do you have such emunah? How do you get to such emunah? How... How do you get to a point where Hashem says, "This you do," and you don't ask any questions, even though it might contradict itself? The hiddush, rabotai, is that when you understand that it came from God, there's no test. No test. Why? It's from God. What is it like? All of you that went to school know there are two types of tests. There's a test guaranteed to pass because it's open book. In such a test, if you study, you're going to pass, even if the test is closed book. When a teacher tells you, "Listen, you have a test. You have an unlimited amount of time to pass this test. You have a hundred questions to answer, all of the answers are in this book, and you can use the book to take the test for as much time as you'd like," then begin.

11:39Guaranteed to pass because it's an open book. As a test, if only you've studied, you're going to pass the closed book. When a teacher tells you, "Listen, you have a test, and you have an unlimited amount of time to pass this test. You have a hundred questions to answer. All of the questions and the answers are in this book, and you can use the book to take the test for as much time as you'd like," begin. Is that really a test? Or just a mental exercise? Why? Because He just gave you the answers. All you have to do is just look for them. Okay, it's page 13. Okay, page 17. Okay, page 18. All you're doing is just copying and pasting. All it is is a mental exercise. Why? It's an open-book test. It's a closed-book test if it's a closed-book test. Only if you've studied, only if you've prepared for a year, five years, ten years, or twenty years, depending on the test, are you going to pass. But even if you've prepared, sometimes you didn't prepare enough. That's the distinction between having emunah or not. If you have emunah, it's an open-book test, regardless of the test.

12:56If you don't have emunah, it's a closed-book test. You may not pass. If you have emunah, meaning you know this is from God—no one else—this is from God. It's unusual, it doesn't make sense, it contradicts everything that I know, it goes against everything that I know, it hurts, it's this, it's that—all the different things, all the different excuses, all the different issues. Bottom line: is it from God or not? If it's from God, it's an open-book test. If you understand logically, then it's from God. It's an open-book test. Why is it going to be okay? He's not going to give me a test I can't pass. There's no point. He's not going to give me a test that I cannot pass. There's no point. It's like a mother telling her son, "Listen now, honey, I know you're only three years old, but can you do me a favor? Can you pick up the semi-trailer over your head?" She's just not going to ask the three-year-old to do it. Why? She knows he can't do it. There's no point in asking. Only a psychopath would do such a thing. By thinking that Hashem gave you a test you cannot pass, chas v'shalom, you're thinking that Hashem is crazy.

14:18He gave it to you. That means you can pass it. The only difference is how you treat the test: open book or closed book. If you've trained your emunah, if you've trained yourself to have emunah at a time of need, it's an open book test. If not, you may not pass it because it's a closed book. You have to study a lot. You had to study a lot.