What Is The Lowest Form Of Conversation?

0:06Optical illusion. And that's why I always tell people that the lowest form of conversation, meaning a clear indication that someone doesn't have anything in their mind, is when your topic of conversation is other people's money. People that talk about sports stars and celebrities making X amount of money, and he made this deal, and he just signed a contract for $20 million, and he just signed this deal for $2. Talking about other people's money is literally the lowest form of conversation. It simply shows that there may not even be a moach (brain) in there. Why? Why do you care what he has? Is he going to pay your bills? Like if this baseball player hits an extra five home runs and makes an extra zillion dollars, whatever he's going to make, how's that going to affect you? Why do you care? Oh yeah, but he signed a deal with the Mets. So? Yeah, but he should have been with the Yankees. Why? Because he would have made more money. Why do you care how much money he has? What are you, his accountant?

1:11You're a hedge fund manager, managing your stuff. Like, why? For what? What do you care? But this, Rabotai, is literally the topic of discussion of the entire generation. I remember on Wall Street, non-stop, you go downstairs for a cigarette break or for lunch, and everybody's talking about other people's money. Oh, you see him, he's just in this trade. Yeah, he made a million dollars. Yeah, he made $200. Yeah, but it's not as much as that guy. It's not as much as this guy. Oh, that baseball player, that rapper, that celebrity, that movie star. Constantly, constantly talking about other people's money. Constantly. Young kids, teenagers, they don't know anything in the Torah or anything about life, but they know the salary cap of every single team in the NFL. They know exactly how much every single basketball player that plays for their team made last year, including signing bonuses, contracts with Coca-Cola, Adidas, and Nike, how much he made on the side with some investments, how much he gambles, and whether he's getting a divorce or not, and whether he has a prenup. They know the bank accounts of every single celebrity. But how to add, they don't really know so much.

2:21To wake up early in the morning, go pray, or even do something useful—not so much. But salary caps, other people's money, how much this movie made, how much this movie cost—they know. This is literally a disaster, an epidemic that's causing people to become more and more depressed without a cure in sight because they don't think that they're sick. The average person doesn't think there's anything wrong with talking about other people's money. Why not? Unless you learn what Rabbeinu Bachya says, you're never going to arrive at this conclusion. Why? What's wrong with talking about other people's money? They do it on the news all the time. What's wrong with it is that when you talk about other people's money, you're picturing not what he has, not what she has. But what you don't have, you're not happy for him that he just bought a plane. You're thinking, ah, he bought a plane, hopefully he crashes. Oh, no, I mean, hopefully it's good, yeah, yeah. Oh, he bought a nice car, yeah, hopefully it has a flat tire. Every curse under the sun. You're not happy for him. Oh, he just got married, yeah, yeah, probably get divorced soon. What? What? No, no, mazal tov, mazal tov, mazal tov. You're not happy for them. Under your breath, you're like cursing them, you hate them. Why? Because you don't have it.

3:51Because you don't have it. That's why the Gemara says something that, the first time I learned it, I didn't get it. The second time I learned it, I didn't get it. The third time I learned it, I didn't get it. You know when I got it? Right now. The Gemara says, everybody knows what the Chatan and Kallah are going to do after the wedding. But anyone that thinks about it... Anyone that talks about it, discusses it with others, or even thinks about it himself, is better off if he hadn't come into the world. I'm thinking to myself, oh, relax. Oh, okay, we know what's going to happen. So why is it so bad that it's better off if the guy was never born? I mean, is it that bad? Yes, it's that bad. Why? Because that simply means that you are living an illusion. You're constantly going to be upset at other people's happiness.

4:53Because you're going to look at their life and be jealous because you think that it all belongs to you. Such a life is better off not being born. Such a life is a miserable existence. That's why, Rabotai, when we see the Chachamim telling us that you need to have certain tools in order to survive this life, it's not really a suggestion. It's more like a survival guide. You see people left and right taking drugs, all types of mental drugs to numb their pain, to numb their depression, to get them out of reality. In reality, you don't need any of this stuff. All you need is to follow the instructions of the sages. But that requires amal (toil).