Why Should Every Wife Send Her Husband to Learn Torah? (13 Minutes)

1:37Then there's a famous story which says someone worked for Rabbi Eliezer HaGadol, and at the end of his term, which was a few years, he wanted to collect his money, and Rabbi Eliezer says, I don't have. I don't have. He goes, oh, maybe you can give me some fruit, maybe you should give me some carpets, maybe you should give me this. And he kept giving him excuses of why he doesn't have it. He said, okay, no problem, and he left. We find out that all of the excuses that he had were legitimate and yes, I didn't end up paying him, but nonetheless, we find out that the employee was Rabbi Akiva. Rabbi Akiva, showing that Rabbi Akiva, despite knowing no Torah whatsoever, had good middot, good character traits. So if Rachel, who was a tzadeket and almost 20 years younger than him, and... 20 years younger than him. She says, listen, I'll marry you. Just go to learn Torah. Because you have already something that's very hard to get. You already have good middot. Usually, good middot, you only get with Torah. If you already have good middot before Torah, oh, wow, what am I going to have once you have some Torah in you? Yeah, but I'm 40, and I don't know how to read, and I don't know how to write, and I have a kid from a previous marriage, and there are this, and that. I have all these problems. I don't have any money. I'm poor. I'm broke. You go learn Torah? Yes. Okay, go.

3:05They got married. Kalba Savua got really upset. He said, you can get the greatest. You're the daughter of someone that's righteous. You're the daughter of someone that's rich. You're the daughter of someone that's famous. Why do you go with my employee that's cleaning horses, that's illiterate, that's divorced, that's 20 years older than you? Why? He said, I don't agree with you. I'm going to disown you. Disown. She made a decision. She was a strong woman. Whether disowned or disowning, I'm going with him. She endured a huge test because as soon as they got married, she told Akiva, "Now it's your time to fulfill the deal and go learn Torah." So he goes to the kindergarten because he doesn't know aleph-bet, and he says, "I can't go." He doesn't go to the yeshiva. He got accepted but instead, he goes to kindergarten for aleph-bet learning. At the beginning, they thought he was the teacher. Rabbi, I'd rather they see him sitting with them. He's sitting with them. They started making fun of him, saying "sababa, sababa," meaning "old man." You know, grandfather used to call him that. He got so upset, he left. He said, "I'm not going back, I'm not going back. It's not for me." Embarrassment, they're making fun of me, all the little kids. They're four, five, six, seven years old, making fun of me. Please do me a favor and...

4:25Take our donkey. We have a little donkey, a ba'al mum donkey. It has a deformity, specifically, a hole in its back. He says, "Do me a favor. Take this donkey to the market. Before you take him there, put some mud, some sand, or whatever ground material you have into it, and plant some seeds. There's a hole, like a little cup, on the donkey's back. Just put some mud in there, add some seeds, and water it." Flowers are gonna come out of it. I go in the market, maybe somebody will give you money for this special donkey that has a plant on its back. Where's he gonna do miskin? Where's he gonna do? That's what he does. He puts the plant. After a few days, she says, "No, how's the donkey going?" "Well, b'chasdei Hashem, the donkey is good." She goes, "Is anybody still making fun of you or anything?" You know, on the first day, everyone looked at me like, "Look at this donkey! Why is this guy watering the donkey?" and they came to see. Everybody came to see what kind of donkey has a plant on him. "Where'd you get this, Home Depot? Where'd you get this from?"

5:31Which aisle I want to get a donkey with a plant on it. In the beginning, everybody was very excited. Second day, a little less. Third day, no one cares. It was exactly, exactly like that. First day, they're gonna make fun of you in the kindergarten. Second day, okay, a little less. People are calling you saba. Third day, you're one of the classmates. Go back to school. He says that to me many times. He's right. I'm back to school. He learned and stayed there and went away. He didn't come home every day like us. Every day we go, we do what we gotta do, we come home, dinner, kids, play, this, that. No, he went 12 years straight, 12 years straight. Today you go 12 minutes without calling or texting your wife, it's a part of, "Why don't you call?", "Where are you?", "With another girl?", "Are you with somebody?", "Are you cheating on me?" "Where are you going?", "Did you fly away?", "What's happened?!" 12 minutes! Twelve years, he went away. After twelve years, he comes back and overhears this rasha (wicked person) neighbor talking to his wife, trying to seduce her. This neighbor is trying to persuade her by saying, "Listen, what are you with this guy for? He left you; maybe he died. Maybe he's with another woman. Maybe he's this, maybe he's that. Come with me. I have money, I have this, I have that. Look at how you're living; you're living in a barn, a horse barn. Your next-door neighbor is a horse."

6:56Your closest friend is a cow. What do you have with this guy? You haven't even seen him in 12 years. Who knows? She says, if he knew what I really wanted, he would go for another 12 years. Rabbi Akiva loved his wife and valued his wife so much. It's hard for us to understand this. Loved her so much that he didn't even go and say hi. Hi, honey. I'm here. I'm home. Let me hang out for a couple of days, and I'll go back for 12 years. No, no, he turned around and went back for another 12 years. 24 years later... He comes back with 24,000 students. Rachel knows this has something to do with Rabbi Akiva. Rachel knows it has something to do with him. She doesn't know he's the rabbi. She knows it's a big rabbi coming to town with 24,000 students. I mean, this is something where even the least of the students can revive the dead. The least one. Little baby can revive the dead. The rabbi of them all is coming with the students. Maybe he's coming with his yeshiva. Maybe he's one of the students. Who knows? I'm going. Little does she know he's the rabbi.

8:05Now, her miskena. I woke up out of a note. She had to sell her hair. She used to be a very beautiful woman. She sold her hair so she could get money to eat. So you can imagine this woman looks disheveled. She's young - well, she's not so young anymore. She's already in her 40s now. She's not like when she married him. She was 18 years old, bubbe. Now, she's 40-something years old already. No hair, no this, poor, miskena. She tries to go through the crowd and see who the Rabbi is. Hey, hey, hey, relax, lady, relax. Rabbi Akiva says, no, let her in. Your Torah and my Torah, it’s all hers. Everything is hers. Why? The only reason I’m here is because of her. The only reason I’m here is because of her. Anyone who understands this story, even if you have heard it a thousand times, should hear it again. Why? Because we still fail to understand the significance of the story. The significance of the story is in why they succeeded for him to become Gadol Hador, the greatest of the generation. To such an extent that Moshe Rabbeinu said, "Why are you giving the Torah to me, Hashem? Give it to him."

9:26Give it to Rabbi Akiva. He saw the future. He says you can have somebody like this in the world. You give me the Torah, give it to him, give it to Rabbi Akiva, who doesn't know how to read, doesn't know how to write, doesn't know anything. Give it to him, why? He's going to be Rabbi Akiva. Why did Rachel get to marry such a man? Each one knew their role. He knew his role, and she knew her role. If a woman understands that it's for her interest and... For her benefit, she chooses to endure the hardship of not being with her husband as often as she would like. Instead, she sends him to go learn Torah, encouraging him to attend the shiur Torah, saying, "Go learn tomorrow." She understands that this is the ideal. Everything changes.