A Holy Nation: Parashat Yitro

0:03In that parasha, Parashat Yitro, is when we not only hear about Yitro and his extraordinary conversion to Judaism, as soon as he heard about the wonders and the extraordinary measure-for-measure punishment that HaKadosh Baruch Hu (The Holy One, Blessed be He) delivers in this world. Uh, that's beyond our logic and comprehension. Uh, he, uh, came quickly to convert to Judaism. He joined us at Mount Sinai. Uh, but, uh, shortly after that, we have the, uh, Ten Commandments. The Ten Commandments, and of course, HaShem, who has always been with us throughout all of these, uh, years, constantly shows us where this shiur... is in the Torah of that week, and we will see that again today. So, the Ramban told us a lot of things. He told us about the preparation, the physical preparation for intimacy, the mental preparation for intimacy, and needless to say, the spiritual preparation for intimacy. Anyone that has been watching this series has quickly discovered that intimacy is a whole lot more than an animalistic act, like most people treat it as.

1:20And one of the main things that a person discovers from this series is that the highest level of servitude to Hakadosh Baruch Hu can be achieved through intimacy, through the actual holy act. of a man and his wife, even higher than learning Torah. Now, this does not mean that a person should simply stay in their bedroom and never leave. Of course, one must see how a person can reach such a high level. But the point is that just from that statement alone, a person sees that there is a lot more to intimacy than just simply procreation, simply having some type of physical pleasure—there's a whole lot more to it. As HaKadosh Baruch Hu tells us in Parashat Kedoshim, "You shall be holy because I am holy." And He also mentions in this week's parasha about the obligation to be a holy nation. This is referring to how we treat morality. In an immoral world that we live in today, we obviously have to work a little extra hard.

2:23to shut our ears and eyes in order not to be infected by the filth of society. But this is nothing new. There's nothing new under the sun. Society has always been society. If it wasn't what we have today, it's what we had in the previous generation. There is no such thing as a test that the generation has that it cannot handle. Just like there is no such thing as a test that you or I have that we can't handle. If Hashem gave it to you, that means He already gave you the tools to handle it. He provides the cure before the ailment. And one of the main things that people struggle with in life in general is fatherhood. Now, of course, motherhood has its own difficulties, the carrying of the baby, the changing of the body. These are all extraordinary, extraordinary difficulties that no man on planet Earth will ever understand. And I spoke about this extensively in a different lecture called Kosher Intimacy. Years ago, one of the things that was rarely addressed is the difficulty in fatherhood. On one end, a father wants to play with their kids and wants to give them everything they desire. But on the other end, if they play with them all the time and give them everything they want consistently, all they're doing is destroying their kid.

3:44So, there is a time to discipline the child. There's a time to teach the child. And there obviously is a time to play with the child. And there is a time to give the child certain presents. But the balance is different for different people. It all depends on what you do in your life. The question is, how does a father, attain happiness from his fatherhood. Many people can tell you they're happy with their career, especially if they're successful, especially if they're extremely successful, especially if they're a public personality and they need to look like they're successful, but When it comes to fatherhood, rarely does anybody ever talk about their genuine happiness from being a father itself. Perhaps they're happy to have kids, or they're happy that they're married. But many times, when you see the behind-the-scenes of some of the public personalities out there, you see that they have no reason whatsoever to be happy, as their kids are wayward kids, drug addicts, degenerates, or have all types of addictions, or sometimes just simply hate each other.

4:48So how do we know that we can attain happiness as fathers? The Torah discusses it, and of course, it does as the Torah discusses everything. But this is the part that the Ramban is going to delve into a little bit more as we go from the... mentality and ideal ideological change that is required in order to actually attain not only holiness but also the pleasure and intimacy that we discussed last week, where a man needs to know that there is a certain benefit to letting the woman be first. But at the same time, You may prefer otherwise. You have to know why this and why that. For all of that, go to last week's lecture because we don't really want to repeat the same thing. There's no need for it. Now, the Ramban, who has taught us all of these wonderful things—the spiritual preparation, the physical preparation, the mental preparation—letting us know what to eat, how to behave in general, how to clean, how to think, and how to look.

5:55Everything that he's taught us and even now reaches a climax is essentially concluding everything. We're not yet at the end, but we're getting there relatively quickly. And he says as follows: And now, having all which I have told you in the previous chapters along with this chapter, you should make analogies from the matters which we have mentioned to learn matters which we have not recounted and bring all these things together. In so many words, the Ramban is telling us that he's taught us more than enough to have an all-encompassing knowledge and a complete command of this particular topic, even when it comes to things we haven't discussed. Why? Because you can use the different things that he has taught us as examples, as analogies, as a certain standard in order to apply to all the other related items when it comes to intimacy. and a complete command of this particular topic, even when it comes to things we haven't discussed. Why? Because you can use the different things that he has taught us as examples, as analogies, as a certain standard in order to apply to all of the other related items when it comes to intimacy.

7:04And by this, you will understand how a man should conduct himself modestly during his marital relations, with an even greater emphasis on modesty than in matters such as eating, drinking, and other aspects of everyday life. for according to the level of modesty and behavior you hold during the union, so will come to be the form of the seed. See, the Ramban is, in essence, unveiling a secret, where first and foremost, he's letting us know that modesty is not just an obligation for the woman. In Judaism, and in the Torah, rather, it is an obligation on the men. Anyone that has studied will know this very well, that modesty is required even behind closed doors. Modesty is required even inside the bathroom when you are alone and simply taking care of your body. Modesty is required when you're eating, in fact, if people learned... rather, it is an obligation for men; anyone who has studied the halacha will know this very well, that modesty is required even behind closed doors. Modesty is required even inside the bathroom when you are alone and simply taking care of your body. Modesty is required when you're eating. In fact, if people learned

8:09The different laws when it comes to eating would make many people today realize how many violations they are making, perhaps not of biblical laws, but certainly of ideological and behavioral laws. This is because the way people eat today is certainly not what the Torah instructed us to do. So, the Ramban is telling us that you must have modesty when you're eating. Certainly, people that walk around while they're eating is not only disgusting, but it's also not modest. It's not appropriate. The Shulchan Aruch, Rabbi Yosef Karo, compares people like that to animals, like cows, bulls, or whatever other animal of your choice. People who eat in public places in such a fashion that they appear to care less about their appearance and make a mess of themselves are problematic. They are the type of people you might prefer to avoid looking at while they eat.

9:15This is certainly not a way to behave; this is certainly not a way to present Hashem. As Talmidei Chachamim, the Torah scholars who eat are compared to those who worked and served at the Beit HaMikdash, bringing a sacrifice. Modesty is required in every aspect of a Jew's life, whether they're male or female, but here the Ramban is focusing on the male. We are meant to be a light, Unto the nations, not to follow their misguided practices. Remember, every Jew has to remember that he's a Jew and she's a Jew. We don't celebrate non-Jewish holidays, even if they seem harmless. It's a zilzul, disrespect to the Torah and could lead to chilul Hashem.