Always Be Aware of Your Surroundings

1:32like pretty much everyone in Am Yisrael that has people who are secular in your family or friends who are secular, people you care about who are secular, this is a very, very critical thing to listen to. What does it mean? Don't be so connected to them. Yes, you're allowed to come in, teach, and leave. Don't start having barbecues on a daily basis. The guy is at your house sometimes; he's bringing pigs, sometimes he's bringing monkeys, sometimes he's bringing this, and you make a separate side of barbecue. Let him eat this taref? No, no. You come to our house for Shabbat, you become Shomer Shabbat. You don't drive to my house and then drive home on Shabbat. You want to come to my house? Keep Shabbat, stay in my house for Shabbat. You can't stay for Shabbat. Don't bring that stuff to my house. Why? Why don't bring that stuff to my house? Why not drive to my house on Shabbat and go home on Shabbat? Because I have little kids. My little kids are tzaddikim. They don't know what a chiloni is. They don't know what a secular person is. They see somebody driving on Shabbat that I'm honoring and saying, ah, look, this is my friend Tzvika, this is Shmuley, and this is Danny. They all came to...

2:52Celebrate Shabbat with us, and afterward, we talk and we schmooze about Avraham Avinu and Moshe Rabbeinu and all these wonderful things. Everyone smiles, eats, and celebrates. "Okay, good night everybody," they say, and then they go. The little kids see them from the window, hear "tick tick tick tick tick," as they turn the car on and drive away. "Abba, what happened to Avraham Avinu and Moshe Rabbeinu? They said don't drive on Shabbat." Why are Danny, Shmuley, and Tzvika driving? What are you going to say to them? No, they don't know? What are you going to tell them? The kids aren't going to understand that they don't know. You just talked about Moshe Rabbeinu; it seemed like they knew fine. So, you can't connect to them to such an extent that you let them sin inside your house. Listen, I understand it's difficult. Some even say, listen, if you're going to invite them the first time, They drive the next time; don't let them. Personally, I don't think you should let them sin at all, ever. Because if it's okay once, why is it not okay twice? If it's okay for him to drive on Shabbat for one year, why is it not okay for him to drive for two years, then three years, four years, five years, and ten years? It's either true or it's not. The fact that he's not willing to accept it right away and keep Shabbat right away, I understand, but you have to let him know: listen, when you're here, when you're in my house, you have to keep it.

4:14Just like if you go to a house where it's part of the etiquette of the house to take off your shoes when you come in, what do you do? You take off your shoes. If it's part of the etiquette of the house to take off your hat when you come in, what do you do? You take off your hat. You do what is the custom in the place that you go. There's no difference than anything else. If you want to go to that house for Shabbat, go to the house for Shabbat. But to have these people that are completely anti-Torah over at your house and allow them to desecrate Shabbat openly like that is going to create problems in your life. It's going to create problems in your life. And you have to really be strict with it, even though it may mean that you're going to have fewer guests for Shabbat. Rather have fewer guests for Shabbat than people who are going to taint your kids and tell your kids that it's okay. To drive on Shabbat and the car doesn't explode when you turn it on is prohibited. Because really, all you have to stand on with little kids is this: One of the things that people don't understand is that with little kids, if you want them to adhere to Judaism, to stick to Torah without letting go—without, you know, just sticking to it—you have only two things to hold on to.

5:38One, reward them. Give them a reward. Did the kid wear a kippah the whole week? Give him a candy or a little story. Give him a high five. Did he wear tzitzit? Give him a little story, a high five, or some candy. Give him something. Reward him for his efforts. Did he learn his mishnayot or chumash? Did he complete his homework? Offer him a reward. This is one principle you must adhere to. Chazal, our Sages, teach this. It's not my rule; Chazal instructs that you must reward them. This is in the days of Chazal, it's not just the days of now. In today's times, Hashem, you should probably give him a plane. But obviously, you have to give rewards with taste and with tact. You can't give the kid a plane every week. Give him a candy, give him something small. He will also appreciate something small much more than he would if you bought him a video game every week, which could ruin him. So that's number one. If you want to educate your kid and want him to want to do the mitzvah, you have to entice him. With that. The second thing is, which is going to be a surprise to some people, is fear. Scare them to death. Hashem doesn't like when people take off their kippah. Hashem doesn't like people who don't do their homework. And you have to let them know. The fear of Hashem, you tell them one time, and a kid will listen forever.

6:56They'll listen forever, I'm telling you. I know this for myself. When I was a little kid, even though we didn't keep much, you know, mitzvot, when I was 10 years old, we kept a few things. We went to a religious school, but as soon as we landed in America, we became green. We didn't keep anything. except holidays and, you know, basic mitzvot. In my opinion, we didn't keep much. But whatever some people may consider it, you know, just like part of the minhagim. In my opinion, based on what I know today, we kept nothing. But it doesn't make a difference. The point is that we came in, we keep some holidays, kosher whenever it's convenient, but what did I make sure to do my whole life? No matter what, it doesn't matter if I'm dating a non-Jew, it doesn't matter if I'm doing whatever, it doesn't matter if I'm eating tareif, it doesn't matter what I'm doing my whole life. There are two things I did my whole life. One, every time I have a piece of paper, I always put "b'siyata d'shmaya" on the top right corner of the paper. Anytime I write anything on a piece of paper, I always had "b'siyata d'shmaya" with the bet and the hei.

8:12The second thing is, she's my slave before I go to sleep. Why? Because my mom told me this is what G-d wants when I was a little kid. She said, "Listen," or my teacher told me, b'ezrat Hashem, and my mom told me, "My son, it's good to say before you go to sleep, and G-d wants it. G-d is almighty, G-d is great, G-d is everything." Nobody told me that G-d punishes people who don't keep Shabbat. People told me G-d wants you to say, "My son, before you go to sleep, G-d wants you to put His name on a piece of paper." Okay, so that's what I did. You tell little kids, this is what G-d said, you put the fear of G-d in them, they'll do it. And that's the only thing you have to hold on to until they have enough Torah knowledge that they learn in school by Bezrat Hashem, and at home, that it becomes part of them and they want to do it. But before you get to Ahava, before you get to the love of Hashem and the desire to do His will, you have to have Yirah. You have to have fear. There's no Ahava without Yira. So this is also another reason why it's very, very dangerous to have resha'im in your life. If you have a community full of resha'im, full of people that are wicked, full of people that are against the Torah, they could ruin your kids. This is also why you unfortunately hear sometimes that rabbis that move to new communities that are full of secular people,

9:38to help them do teshuva (repentance) and sometimes their own kids, the rabbi's kids, get tainted or get hurt because of this. The kid goes off the derech (path) because the rabbi can't be with his kids all day. He has the community; he has to learn; he has this; he has a lot of things to do. So his own kid is going to grow up, and he's going to play. Who is he going to play with? He's going to play with the secular kids. He sees them smoking, he wants to smoke. He sees them drinking, he wants to drink. So this is what happens. It's a very, very big problem. It's a very, very big problem. And it's very dangerous to be in a place like that. It's better to not go in most cases. But it's also mesirat nefesh. The Rabbi, by the will of Hashem, will have enough siyata dishmaya that his kids do teshuva. But nonetheless... The point is that the Mishnah here is telling you that when you are connected to resha'im, you are going to be influenced by them. You're going to be influenced, and so it's crucial to keep wise company and avoid negative influences. This is a fundamental lesson in Jewish ethics, emphasizing the impact our choices in companionship can have on our character and spiritual well-being.