Basic Steps of TeShuva for Tikkun HaBrit Wasting Seed (12 Minutes)

1:03Yeah, there are a few Tehillim. There are a few Tehillim that you can say. It's not necessarily a bracha. There are a few Tehillim that, if you want, text me and I'll send them to you that you can say to help you as far as protecting your eyes. But the biggest thing, the biggest thing that you can do to help yourself with Shmirat HaBrit is when you learn Torah, especially challenging Torah, your brain starts working differently. Just like the Rambam says in Hilchot Teshuvah 4:21, he explains that only an empty brain makes this type of sin. In essence, he's also telling us that if you fill your brain with Torah, you're never going to be bored. You're learning Torah every day. Even if it's only an hour or two hours a day, your brain is always going to be functioning. Oh, you know what? Yesterday Rashi said this, or you know your brain's always going to be working on that. If your brain is only working on business and the material world, it's very easy to sin. But if your brain has some Torah in it on a regular basis, it's going to function differently, and you're not going to think about that stuff.

2:26But obviously, it requires some work. You have to do it every day. So, Torah study, especially difficult Torah, is not just about how difficult it is or about never understanding it, but rather the challenge lies until you truly understand it. This is the kind of study that is going to fix your brain and neshamah (soul) and help you distance yourself from all of these negative influences and thoughts. Second thing is, obviously, have a good relationship with your wife. If you're mean to your wife, then you can't blame her for not wanting to look at you. You know, some guys think that their wife is like a slave or something. I don't know what happened to this world, but people treat their wife like they think it's a plant they can move wherever they want. You know, you have to treat your wife like a human being. You have to... Take care of yourself. You can't expect her to be excited to be with you when you don't take a shower more than once a week. You know, you have to take care of yourself. Same thing with women. I'm telling you guys, this is the type of stuff I hear. No, I don't want to be with him. Why? He smells. Okay, well, take a shower. Why can't you tell him? No, I feel bad telling him. Who's going to tell him then? Who's going to tell him?

3:43Who's going to tell him? Tell him, listen, I refuse to be with you because you smell. Okay, so the guy's going to start taking showers 10 times a day. He wants to be with his wife. If he's not going to be with his wife, he's going to sin. So the wife, thinking she's nice to him by not hurting his feelings, being politically correct by not hurting his feelings, she's leading him to sin. Enough with the political correctness. Tell people the truth. You could say it in a nice way. You could even say it in a funny way and joke around privately. But say the truth. Just say what it is. Enough with this garbage in the world with all this political correctness. No, I don't want to hurt his feelings. Why hurt the feelings? You're telling the guy something that's going to help him. Okay, so the surgery is going to hurt. I understand. But if we don't do the surgery, the guy is going to die. What are you going to do? I know it's going to hurt. The recovery is going to hurt. The surgery is going to hurt. Everything is going to hurt. But eventually, he's going to live. It's better that I hurt now and be better later than not later. So tell people the truth. The biggest thing that you can do for overall connection to Hashem is take care of His children. In a woman's case, two major things. One, modesty. You have to be modest. There is no other option. You have to be modest. If you're married, you have to cover your hair.

5:11Not with a wig that reaches the floor. Kisui Rosh should be appropriate. Look modest. Don't drag it, you know, grab the attention of the public. The only one who should see your beauty is your husband. The wigs of today are not kosher. Even the rabbis who say that wigs are kosher, or used to say that wigs are kosher, would never say that the wigs of today are kosher because the wigs of today look better than natural hair. I can never understand that. So, it's nonsense. No one, no big rabbi in the world today agrees with today's wigs. No one. Even if you tell me, no, but his own wife wears it. Okay, he has his own problem. It doesn't mean anything. Someone came to Rabbi Ovadia Yosef and said, Rabbi Ovadia spoke against wigs all the time. There's no place in the Torah that says you're allowed to wear wigs. Whoever said it is making a mistake. You're not allowed to wear wigs. He said, yes, but Kavod HaRav, your own granddaughter is wearing a wig. He said, yes, there's a place for her in Gehenom also. It's all a problem. The human hair part is because it comes from avodah zarah (idol worship) most of the time. There are different traditions in Tibet, in India, in different places in Asia where it's part of idol worship to cut off their hair.

6:23Idol-worshippers, it's a known issue, idol-worshippers outright; idol-worshippers, as part of the tradition, cut off hair as part of idol worship. So, women that wear wigs, in many cases, are using hair from idol worshippers, but you're not allowed to benefit from idol worship in any way. Even if it's a gold statue, you're not allowed to benefit from it. Not allowed to use it, not allowed to sell it, nothing. So, of course, you're not allowed to wear it on your head. But aside from that, it's not modest. It doesn't meet the basic requirement. It's not modest. So women need to understand, yes, I know this is a big tikkun in this generation. No one wants to cover their hair. Everyone wants to look pretty for Steve and Mikey at ShopRite. I understand. But your husband is more important, and God is more important. Steve and Mike are going to look at some other girl. They don't have to look at you. Your husband should look at you. That's it. Cover your hair. Cover your body. Your skirt needs to cover your knees after you sit down, not before you sit down, because then as soon as you sit down, it goes up and becomes a mini skirt. That's not modesty. Ideally, your skirt should cover your ankles even when you're sitting down. But even if it can't, the point is that it needs to cover your knees at the very minimum when you sit down. It's not modest to have to adjust it every few seconds.

7:49You know, there are a lot of women who go to a wedding, and it's like every two seconds, they're all, you know, adjusting themselves in their chairs. That's not how it's supposed to be. The clothing is supposed to cover you normally, and also, it's not supposed to be that tight. Why? Because if it's tight, then anyone with eyes can see exactly what your body looks like. It has to be loose. That's what modesty is about. That's what Hashem said. It's not me; if it was up to me, I'm a guy... What do you think a guy would want? It's not. Before we did teshuva, I would tell my wife, don't wear any clothes. I had no concept. I was an animal. I'm telling you, this is what Hashem wants. Shirts have to cover the elbows at all times. Necklines need to be covered. Obviously, you have to act like a human being. You can't talk like a truck driver. Speak like a lady and gentlemen, for heaven's sake. If you are wearing skinny jeans, stop it already. It's not modest enough. Beyond that, whoever you know that wears them, tell them something.

9:13It's just not appropriate. It doesn't look nice. I don't know who thinks it looks nice, but whatever. I guess it's a taste situation. You got to stop it. I don't know. It's just one of those things. By the way, in case you didn't know who actually made this style popular, it's not exactly that Mr. Righteous made this style popular. It's a guy named Lil Wayne. He's not the ideal Jew or anything. He's not Yosef HaTzadik. He's the one that actually made it really, really hip, and then, obviously, other superstars followed. I think he eventually graduated to just wearing women's pants because the men's pants weren't tight enough. I'm serious. So, you're a nice Jewish boy who fears Hashem and wants to fulfill your purpose in the world. Why are you using this guy as an example? Who wants to look like him? We're Jews; we have to stop acting like them. They're not even supposed to act like that, but nonetheless, we have a higher responsibility. We're supposed to be a light to the nations.

10:23This is why Hashem uses anti-Semitism. Because with the anti-Semitism that there is in the world, we still have a huge, huge amount of assimilation. A huge amount of intermarriage. A huge amount of Jews not keeping anything because they feel like Tommy and Joey are the same as them. A huge amount of people with no interest whatsoever in God. Huge. And it's funny because... The Jews are supposed to be the most religious people. We find ourselves as the least religious people. So, you have to tell each other something. You have to tell each other the truth. You have to do teshuva, and you build on top of it. There's always teshuva. It's always available. It's always available. But you have to be serious. You have to be genuine. And with something like this, for guys, gemara... ...learning tough stuff. That's the secret: stopping it, obviously. And if you're single, get yourself together; find yourself a wife. May all of you do so very soon.