Daily Chidush: How Do I Do FULL TeShuva and Erase My Past Sins?

0:06Okay, so in regards to teshuva, here's what needs to happen. First, a person needs to stop sinning. Then a person needs to commit to stop sinning by putting a fence around himself. So he has to, you know, delve into what were his trigger points. For example, whether it's Shabbat or it's wasting seed or it's eating non-kosher, whatever it is, they're usually trigger points. If it's Shabbat, usually it's because of certain types of friends. So from now on, he decides that he's not going to hang out with those friends anymore because they like to drive on Shabbat. If it's wasting seed, he knows that every time he goes to certain websites or he goes to certain places, he sees things that are immodest and leads him to wasting seed. If it's, you know, kashrut, he knows that every time he goes down to a certain place, a mall or something, he gets the ta'avah to eat non-kosher. So he doesn't go anymore. Point is that he has to commit to not making that sin again by putting a fence around himself. The third thing is he has to dwell on the sin itself by learning about it, learning about the mitzvah itself, and getting to a point of regret, regretting that sin. The more you learn about a mitzvah, the more you'll understand the magnitude of the sin itself. But how do you make up for the past sins? So the...

1:27The Torah has many, many sources about it, but one of them that's very obvious is if you look at the prophet Ezekiel, chapter 18, verse number 30. And it says, return and bring others back from your transgressions so that they not be for you an obstacle of iniquity. Cast off from upon yourselves all your transgressions through which you have transgressed and make for yourselves a new heart and a new spirit. So the prophet Ezekiel literally tells us not to make your past sins an obstacle for you in the future. Why? Yes, you've done teshuva. He said, do, you know, return, meaning do teshuva. But then he says, bring others back. Why bring others back? Because by bringing others back, that's going to make up for your past sins. It's a clear verse from the Torah. Another one from the Oral Torah is if you look at the Mishnah in Pirkei Avot.

2:29Chapter 5, Mishnah number 21. It says, whoever influences the masses to become meritorious, meaning to do teshuva, shall not be the cause of sin. So a person that gets other people to do teshuva, not only does it make up for his past sins, but also even future sins. Future tests are limited; they're only given specific types of tests. Because HaKadosh Baruch Hu does not want this person to go to Gehenom while all of his talmidim, all of the people that he influenced, end up going to Gan Eden. The Gemara says, Hashem does not want the teacher to be in Gehenom while all of his students are in heaven. Because then the students are not going to be able to really enjoy heaven when their teacher, their influencer, their motivator, the person that financed it, the person that simply helped them get to heaven is not there. So this is the second thing. Now, you can do teshuva as long as you're alive for everything. Everything. Generally, doing teshuva for everything is, like I said, the process that I just mentioned to you. There is one exception. There is one exception. Not many. There's just one exception. Everything else, whether it's wasting seed,

3:53or murder, or Chilul Shabbat, or kashrut, or whatever it is, you could always make it up by doing teshuvah and by stopping the sin. The only sin that's problematic, or the worst sin, is Chilul Hashem, desecration of the Torah, desecration of Hashem, desecration of Am Yisrael's name. This is what's called Chilul Hashem, making Hashem look bad, making His nation look bad, making His Torah look bad. For example, by making fun of rabbis, by making fun of the Torah, by committing public sins. This is what's called Chilul Hashem. In Chilul Hashem, the Torah says that Chilul Hashem is something that the magnitude of the sin is so great that the beginning of punishment has to start at death. A person cannot be punished for such a sin in this world because the punishment is just too grave. So he has to die first, and then the punishment really begins. Now, the solution to that, the Or Yisrael, Rabbi Yisrael Salanter writes in a book called Or Yisrael, he explains it. He said, how do you make up something that's too great to fix from this world? You do the opposite. You do Kiddush Hashem. You do Kiddush Hashem. And what's the biggest Kiddush Hashem that a person can do? It's also Kiddush. Why? Because by publicizing the Torah, you're sanctifying HaKadosh Baruch Hu's name

5:22more than anything else you can possibly do in the world. So by doing Kiddush Hashem and publicizing the Torah, that's in essence the cure for every spiritual cancer that exists. But if a person does not do Kiruv, then he can do Teshuva for everything else, except Chilul Hashem. He can stop violating Shabbat, he can stop wasting seed, he can stop doing a lot of things, and in essence his punishments, or whatever he didn’t make up for it, But with the issue of Chilul Hashem, the punishment only begins after he dies, whereas the punishment for the others could actually already begin here. The point being is that a person should do Kiruv, should get other people to come to the shiur, to learn Torah, publicize links of shiurei Torah, to get people and influence them to get back to HaKadosh Baruch Hu, because not only is it something that's good for him as a human being to do, because you're helping others learn, But also, it's good for his neshama because, in essence, you're really rewarding yourself by undoing a lot of the mistakes you've made by getting other people to jump on the Hashem wagon again and come back to HaKadosh Baruch Hu. Oh, and lastly, in regards to how do you know if Hashem has forgiven you? You don't know. That's why the Chachamim from the Gemara advised

6:50advised for a person to do teshuva every single day for the rest of their life. And of course, there's going to be a time when there are certain sins that you've done teshuva for, and you realize that there are other things to work on as well, and you work on them as well. But nonetheless, a person should do teshuva for everything, as much as he can, as often as he can, for the rest of his life. Because there are certain sins that it takes a while to do teshuva for, to undo the damage. There are sins that are relatively easy to fix. For example, if you stole, all you have to do is just give the money back. But there are sins that take a while. The point is that a person needs to do teshuva in this world. That's the point of this world. That's the point of why you are in this world, to do teshuva. to start learning about Hashem, learning about His mitzvot, and getting other people to do that as well, because that's the way for a person to simply rectify his mistakes, but more importantly, live a life of happiness in this world so you can have an even much happier life in the next world. And in regards to getting some type of message from Hashem that you're finished,

8:01Yeah, the only guaranteed message is simply when a person dies. A person dies, then he's finished. It doesn't mean that he's a tzaddik. It just means that he's finished his time in this world. And he's only going to find out if he's completed his teshuva once he gets to the next world. What's the source for that? You look at the Gemara Masechet Berachot, the story of Rabban Yochanan ben Zakkai on his deathbed. His students asked him, Rebbe teaches something that will help us get to Olam Haba. He says, "May you fear Hashem as much as you fear people." And he said, "Wait, shouldn't that be the opposite?" He said, "It should be the opposite, but the reality is that people fear Hashem much less than they fear people. They're much more nervous about what people think than what Hashem thinks. So may you fear Hashem at least as much as you fear people." So he said to them after, they said, "Why are you crying, Rebbe?" He says, because I know that I'm about to meet Hashem, the King of Kings, and He's not a king of flesh and blood that is here today, gone tomorrow. He's not a king that I could bribe and give him money. He's not a king that I could convince and outwit like a human king. He's the King of Kings, the Knower of all knowledge, the Creator of all creations. And I don't know if He is going to send me to Gan Eden or to Gehinnom.

9:28Rabban Yochanan ben Zakkai is one of the foundations of our Oral Torah. He was Kodesh Kodashim. He was literally a living Sefer Torah. Our Oral Torah's foundation is him. So if he didn't know if he's going to Gan Eden or Gehenom, how are we going to know? Now, of course, shortly after, he told his students, move away. Chizkiyahu HaMelech is here to take me. Hashem sent Chizkiyahu, who died many centuries before Rabbi Yochanan ben Zakai, to come bring them. It says that the tzaddikim are welcomed by other tzaddikim into Gan Eden. So of course, he went to Gan Eden, but the point is that he went to Gan Eden because he did Teshuvah every single day for all of the things that we know about and all of the things that we don't know about. Sometimes we don't even realize what we're doing is a sin. And that's what makes Tzaddikim Tzaddikim. It's not that they do special prayers or they just read a lot of books. It's about them working on their character, working on themselves, and perfecting themselves.

10:32to serve HaKadosh Baruch Hu without any ounce of arrogance, thinking that they're finished, or they're done, or they've done enough. They do teshuvah every day, and this is what gets them to Gan Eden. B'ezrat Hashem, we make it as well.