Daily Chidush: Zman Ben HaMetzarim (3 week mourning period)

0:01We are a couple of hours away from finishing the fast of the 17th of Tammuz, but we've also entered the Zman Bein HaMetzarim, which is the time that is between the date of the 17th of Tammuz and the 9th of Av. This is the mourning time for Am Yisrael where many, and quite frankly, most of the historical tragedies that have happened to Am Yisrael have happened during this time, from the destructions of both the Beit HaMikdash to the announcement of... Am Yisrael not entering the land of Israel when they sinned with the 12 spies, which actually happened today approximately 3,300 years ago, on the 17th of Tammuz. So there are certain halachot and certain things that we need to know about this time that I wanted to cover, not only about today, which even though it's almost nearly over, it's always good to know for future reference, but also for...

1:07the whole month and what's going to happen because there's a pretty significant difference in some of the minhagim, the customs that the Ashkenazim and Sephardim have. And it's very, very important to know the difference, not necessarily because there is a difference between us, chas v'shalom, but rather because if you see someone doing something and you're not doing it or vice versa, you should never look at anyone with an unfavorable eye. You always have to understand that there are different customs amongst the different traditions of Judaism. And nonetheless, the Ashkenazim have actually been very machmirim, very stringent in their mourning of this time of the year, this date. And rightfully so. Not only because they, you know, it's actually... A good thing to mourn during this time, when we've lost so much throughout history, which we'll go over in a second. But also, historically, the Ashkenazi Jews have suffered much more than the Sephardic Jews did. Ashkenazi Jews have suffered much more from the pogroms, the Spanish Inquisitions, the Holocaust. A lot of these things, most of the suffering was by Ashkenazi Jews, whereas even though the Sephardic Jews have also suffered, it's not comparable. So it's always important to know that when there is a choice.

2:21Spanish Inquisitions, the Holocaust, a lot of these things, most of the suffering was by Ashkenazi Jews, whereas even though the Sephardic Jews have also suffered, it's not comparable. So it's always important to know that when there is a choice of whether to mourn or not to mourn during this time of the year, it's actually a good idea to mourn because either you, your grandparents, your great-grandparents, or even just your brothers and sisters from the other traditions have suffered during this time. So it's very good to connect to it and ask Hashem for mercy. of whether to mourn or not to mourn during this time of the year, it's actually a good idea to mourn because either you, your grandparents, your great-grandparents, or even just your brothers and sisters from the other traditions have suffered during this time. So, it's very good to connect to it and ask Hashem for mercy. There are five things that have happened during significant happened today on the 17th of Tammuz. The Gemara in Masechet Ta'anit mentions the breaching of the walls of Jerusalem. This is Gemara Masechet Ta'anit, page 28b.

3:24the breaching of the walls of Jerusalem, where the goyim breached the walls, and then unfortunately shortly later by Tisha B'Av, which is just in a few weeks, destroyed the Beit HaMikdash. So, it began now, this is obviously anytime a war begins, It's a major event historically, and of course, for Am Yisrael this is even more so. Also, in the same Gemara, Masechet Ta'anit, it says that they were no longer doing the Tamid offering. One of the sacrifices, one of the things we got from Moshe Rabbeinu from Har Sinai, is one of the laws to do, was discontinued. It was discontinued on the 17th of Tammuz. There was also a burning of a Sefer Torah by Apostomos, a placing of an idol in the Holy Temple, in the Beit HaMikdash by the Goyim. And also, the most notorious event that happened actually during this time is that the two tablets...

4:33The Ten Commandments that Moshe Rabbeinu received from Hashem on Mount Sinai. The first set, this is the time actually when he came down from Mount Sinai and saw that Am Yisrael was sinning with the golden calf and destroyed them. He broke the two tablets. So this is also in Gemara Masechet Ta'anit, page 28. And now, to go over into this particular day, we all have to understand that when Judaism has a fast, it's not a fast just because we have nothing better to do. There's obviously a physical fast and there's a spiritual fast, meaning that a spiritual purpose for the fast. The physical fast, the purpose of it is that we limit the amount of material that we consume each and every day. And I think that anyone who's close to Hashem should take this into account and maybe even add some fasting to their life, because there's so much material in this world that we consume every single day. But nonetheless, even if you can't or don't want to, that we consume each and every day. And I think that anyone who is close to Hashem should take this into account and maybe even add some fasting to their life because there is so much material in this world that we consume every single day. But nonetheless, even if you can't or don't want to,

5:47at least the fasts that are decreed by the Torah are things that we have to do and we should be happy to do in the sense that they're giving us a break from the material world by limiting our intake The second part is the spiritual part, which is just fasting by itself. Hanging out with friends and family and talking and babbling about nothing defeats the purpose of the fast. The whole purpose of the fast is to learn why we're fasting. Learn the Halachot, learn the story, read the history, read what happened to our ancestors. This is not just a history book and it's not just something that happened, and too bad for them. this, unfortunately, in a secular world or in a disconnected world that we live in, it's very easy to think, oh, no, it's just something that happened a couple thousand years ago. What's it connected to me? Well, you know what? You obviously know someone that is connected directly, or you perhaps yourself are connected directly to the Holocaust. And if anyone...

6:51dares to mention anything about the Holocaust, immediately AIPAC and every single Jewish organization, rightfully so, attacks that person for denying the Holocaust or for saying anything negative about the Holocaust because we feel close to it. Why is it any different with the holiest Temple that ever existed? The only reason why Hashem even gave us Eretz Yisrael was so we could have the Beit HaMikdash. And during this time is when the destruction began. So, obviously, if we're not connecting to it, there is clearly a disconnect with our Torah. So now, the laws during this time—these next three weeks until the culmination, which is on Tisha B'Av—are very good to know and very important to follow. There are many laws that are actually, there's only a few laws as far as halachot, of what happens during this time, but there are many minhagim. So you always want to make sure you check with your local rabbi to see what the local minhag is, if you don't already know it. One main thing that is also mentioned in the Gemara Masechet Ta'anit is that during this time,

8:05On page 29, Rav Pappa said that a Jew who has a lawsuit with a Gentile should avoid him during the month of Av in general. The month of Av, which starts in about 13 days, is generally a bad month. Even though the Gemara states in Masechet Shabbat, page 156, that the Jews are not absolutely dominated by the astrological forces. Nevertheless, the Gemara mentions that this is actually a time when the Mekatreg, the prosecutor, goes against us because of the unfavorable things that have happened throughout history for a reason. So one should not rely on his prayers and his merits during this time and should be safe by declining to put himself in jeopardy, one example being a lawsuit with a gentile. This means that if you have a lawsuit with someone during this time, you should do everything you can to postpone it to a different time. The Magen Avraham also mentions that a favorable time for us is actually during the month of Adar. during this time, and just be safe by declining to put oneself in jeopardy, one of which being in a lawsuit with a gentile. This means that if you have a lawsuit with someone during this time, you should do everything you can to postpone this lawsuit to a different time. The Ma also mentions that a favorable time for us is actually during the month of Adar.

9:15That's a good luck month for us Jews. So even though we're not necessarily, as Jews, relying on luck, there is a time of favorability and there is a time of unfavorability for us. The Chazal mentions to us that 12 months were given to the world, to Am Yisrael, and 10 of them were inherited by Yaakov and 2 by Esav. The two are Tammuz, which is where we're in, and Av. But even in Av, Esav didn't take the whole month. He only took up to the time of Tisha B'Av. So there are two times that are unfavorable times for Am Yisrael. We see throughout history, whether it's the Holocaust, or the pogroms, or the Inquisitions. or the destruction of the First or the Second Beit HaMikdash, or even the events that happened at Mount Sinai in the desert, generally have happened at a focused time of Tammuz or Av, the two unfavorable months for Am Yisrael.

10:16So now, one thing we, a few things we need to know about this time is that this is a time where for both Ashkenazim and for Sephardim, we do not say Shehecheyanu, the blessing of Shehecheyanu. We do not say it on things like, for example, if you buy clothes, you're supposed to say Shehecheyanu, then you don't say it. But there are certain exceptions. So obviously, if there's a Brit Milah, you say Shehecheyanu. There are certain exceptions of when you're supposed to say the Shehecheyanu prayer, but But generally, you limit the amount of times that you do Shehecheyanu. Also, celebrations during this time, between the 17th of Tammuz and the 9th of Av, are strictly forbidden. No weddings, no... all types of different birthday parties and things of that nature are strictly forbidden. And this is actually for both the Sephardim and for the Ashkenazim, for the Sephardim, the Ben Ish Chai, and also in Magen Avraham it mentions it. So, obviously, this is not just a minhag of not having celebrations of weddings and things of that nature.

11:29we have to make sure that we limit celebrations during a time of mourning, but if there's such an event, like for example a brit milah, you cannot delay it. Then you do have the brit milah, and even if you're Ashkenazi, you're allowed to attend it. Also, there is no music. During this time, there are many sources that talk about how there shouldn't be any music in general during this time. But if you look at the previous sources, I heard a lecture by Rav David Yosef, one of the... And, you know, he mentioned that he looked into this and that you can't really find much about music in general in the past for Am Yisrael as far as laws about music. And the reason why is because... And generally, it's doubtful if Am Yisrael is even allowed to hear music at all, you know, because we're not really supposed to be that happy since we don't have our Beit HaMikdash. Of course, there are both Ashkenazi and Sephardic Poskim.

12:39are lenient in this regard when it comes to music that is holy music, when there is praising of Hashem, that we're allowed to hear. But when it comes to secular music, this nonsense that people have, whether it's rap or hip-hop or whatever, or trance and techno and all this spare music that's out there. This is strictly forbidden, not only now, but in general. But obviously, if you can't do it throughout the whole year, at the very least you can do for Am Yisrael and for your connection with Hashem, is to limit your music during these next three weeks. or trance and techno and all this spare music that's out there. This is strictly forbidden, not only now, but in general. But obviously, if you can't do it throughout the whole year, at the very least, what you can do for Am Yisrael and for your connection with Hashem is to limit your music during these next three weeks. The Zohar says that, as I mentioned before actually, the 12 months that were given to Am Yisrael, two were to Esav, and 10 were to Yaakov Avinu. But in addition to this, it also says that Esav, when he found out that Yaakov stole his blessing, if you will, he cried two tears. Cried two tears.

13:48And he cried three, but the third one went back in. And in our laws of chalav and basar, milk and meat, we know that there's a term called bitul, which is one out of sixty. If there's two different flavors... let's say there's a piece of meat that drops into a pot of milk. It's two distinct tastes. If the milk is 60 times more in quantity than the meat, then you could take out the meat, you know, wash it off, and the milk is still fine. But if there is a, you know, a drop of non-kosher milk goes into a thousand-fold pot of kosher milk. The whole milk is destroyed. It's all non-kosher. And the reason why is because they're similar tastes. So, Chazal asks, if Esav cried these two tears, you know, wasn't there enough, weren't there Jews throughout history that have cried, you know, more than two tears, at least 60-fold, you know, 120 tears?

15:01to go against Esav, that he's still to this day winning the battle against us. And this is one of the troubling terms, this is one of the troubling issues of today, is that, yes, Esav cried, and it looks like he had different tears. It looks like he's the evil and we're the righteous. So it should be that technically 60-fold would be enough to cancel out and we'd have the Mashiach come and all the good things. But in reality, it's not. And the reason why is because Esav cried purely for his own personal benefit. he's the evil and we're the righteous. So it should be that technically 60-fold would be enough to cancel out and we'd have the Mashiach come and all the good things. But in reality, it's not. And the reason why is because Esav cried purely for his own personal benefit. And we are not crying for the Beit HaMikdash purely; we're crying also for our personal benefit. And if it's a similar taste, then no amount is enough. Meaning that for someone to cry purely on the Beit HaMikdash, purely for the will of Hashem, purely for the connection to Hashem, unfortunately, has not happened yet to such an extent.

16:06This is kind of sad, and I mention it only because when you mention to a secular person that you have to fast today, like, what do you mean? Is there a way around it? Is it just a minhag? Is it this? Is it that? No, it's not a minhag, it's a halacha, you have to fast. Aside from this... uh, this month in general, it's a time to, uh, lower happiness. Gifts, gift-giving, you know, jewelry, things of that nature, you should, uh, not give during this time. Also, as far as the, um, uh, the Ashkenazim actually do not eat meat or chicken during this time. They are stringent on this particular issue, whereas the... a very, very difficult time for some of them that they're not eating regular food, whereas the Sephardim in general actually only limit their intake during the week of Tisha B'Av. But since this year we have Tisha B'Av actually happening on Shabbat itself, on Motzei Shabbat, there is no limitation regarding eating meat for Sephardim.

17:20during the week before Tisha B'Av. Whereas the Ashkenazim already start now. No meat or chicken. Also, laundry, haircuts, and shaving are not permitted during the week of Tisha B'Av for Sephardim, but the Ashkenazim already start today, since the 17th of Tammuz. Not allowed to get a haircut, not to shave. And also, the laundry issue actually starts during Rosh Chodesh. During the first of Av is when they stop wearing newly laundered clothes or... do laundry in general. Also, the Ashkenazim, in regards to showering, only permit cold showers from the first of Av until Tisha B'Av. So, nine very, very difficult days for anyone who is not used to cold showers.

18:27During the 9th of Av, itself, so Tisha B'Av itself, this year is an exception because this year is Shabbat, so there are additional laws for that. But nonetheless, on a typical 9th of Av, there are no showers; even the netilat yadayim that you do in the morning when you first wake up, you can only wash the tip of your fingers. There's obviously no eating, there's no being intimate with the wife, and there's no drinking. As far as the clothing, you cannot wear newly laundered clothes during this period. You cannot wear leather sandals. So, in general, a lot of people wear things like Crocs or slippers that are not made of leather during this time. In essence, show that you are mourning. Demonstrate that you have less than what you typically do throughout the entire year during this time.

19:28Now, as far as washing clothes, even for the Ashkenazi Jews, during the Nine Days leading up to Tisha B'Av, which this year falls from August 5th to August 13th, you shouldn't wash any clothes, but... If somebody has young children and it's impossible not to wash their clothes, then obviously they should do the most minimal amount possible. It's also prohibited to give adult clothing to a non-Jewish launderer, even if the clothing is going to be returned after Tisha B'Av—this is not allowed. So there's no way to beat the system. Whatever clothes you need, dry cleaning and so on, you'll give it to them after Tisha B'Av. ...but you are allowed to give it to the non-Jewish launderer before the 9th of Av, even if the clothing is going to be washed during the Nine Days, but you're not allowed to wear them until after Tisha B'Av. The only thing regarding laundering, as far as washing clothes, is that it's permitted by some poskim to wash the clothes for the purpose of a mitzvah, meaning that you can wash specific clothes for Shabbat.

20:44that you can do so either on Thursday night or that Friday in preparation for Shabbat. As far as bathing, the Sephardic Poskim mentioned that it's something that you're not allowed to do during these nine days of Av. You're not allowed to do it for pleasure. And actually, Ashkenazim have actually, some of them, some Poskim have actually said you're not allowed to bathe at all as a true sign of mourning. But some have said that if it's... As far as bathing, the Sephardic Poskim mentioned that it's something that you're not allowed to do during these nine days of Av. You're not allowed to do it for pleasure. And actually, Ashkenazim, some of them, some Poskim have actually said you're not allowed to bathe at all as a true sign of mourning. But some have said that if it's... impossible for you, meaning that it's causing you major hygienic issues or things of that nature, then you're allowed to shower with cold water. Some have even said with regular water, but in general, it should be quick and to the point. No shaving is permitted by either side, whether it's the Sephardic or Ashkenazi, unless, you know, some poskim in the Ashkenazi side have actually said that.

21:46uh, if someone's business is going to be compromised by not shaving, some actually say you're allowed to shave. This is more of the modern side than the Orthodox side, but nonetheless, someone that has an issue with shaving, you know, then obviously you could rely on that. Um... Personally, I don't really know why anybody has such a tough time shaving. Okay, maybe you don't like the look, but what business are you going to lose by not shaving for a week? If you have that kind of client, you probably should change clients or career. Swimming is strictly forbidden, whether Ashkenazi or Sephardic, during these nine days, except a woman is allowed to go to the mikveh during this time, obviously. The only time you're allowed to eat meat or chicken for the Sephardic, for Ashkenazim, is during Shabbat. Except for that, do not eat meat or chicken and also do not drink wine, with the exceptions of during a Pidyon HaBen or a circumcision.

23:07or if there is actually one other thing, if someone finishes a masechta in a Gemara. That about covers all of these rules in so many words. I think that someone who wants to connect to Hashem, wants to really connect, take advantage of this time and limit their material intake, limit their physical needs. You know, they can actually take advantage of this time, similar to the time of Elul, right before our Judgment Day. You know, this is a time where you can actually limit your work, limit your... time that you spend with the material world and connect to Hashem, connect to the spiritual, and connect to your forefathers, and maybe even get you to a point where you actually cry a little bit on Tisha B'Av. If you get to a point where you actually cry on Tisha B'Av, or you cry during this mourning time, it's a big plus in essence. Obviously, we're not advocating everyone crying the whole year, but nonetheless, during a time of mourning, that's what you're supposed to do. Cry for a real reason, not be an actor.

24:24So, b'ezrat Hashem, we pray for better times, we pray for a time where there's only celebration, but nonetheless, we have to also look at the positive things in the time of mourning like we have right now, which is, it's an opportunity for us to limit our material and connect to the spiritual, connect to Hashem, and b'ezrat Hashem, bring the Mashiach in our day. Katuv.