Don't Be Lavan.....LOOK IN THE MIRROR FIRST

0:10Gemara in Masechet Shabbat and also Masechet Ketubot, as well as in a few other places, the Midrash in Yalkut Shimoni, Parashat Mishpatim, says "Ein Adam Roeh Chovah Be'atzmo," meaning a person does not see the obligation on himself, and does not see the issues with himself.

1:17And you see this every single day, both in a religious community as well as in a secular community. Sometimes I sit down with people for half an hour, an hour, or even two hours, and I'm talking to them. Usually, I try to talk to them about things that I know are relevant to them. I don't say, "You rasha," I don't do that, because I know they're not going to listen then. But I talk about things in a way that everyone with common sense understands is relevant. If a guy drives on Shabbat, and you know everybody knows he drives on Shabbat, I'm going to talk about Shabbat. If a guy's wife is crying every other day, I'm going to talk about shalom bayit. If kids are making all the noise in the world in a synagogue and someone thinks it's a mitzvah to bring them, I'm going to talk about how you're not allowed to bring kids to the synagogue. Unless they're disciplined. Some people bring their kids to the synagogue and think that it's a mitzvah, even though the kids are disturbing the whole kehillah. It's not a mitzvah. It's not a mitzvah at all. As a matter of fact, it's geneivah. You're stealing the zman tefillah of the entire kehillah. You just robbed everybody. You have to come back in another gilgul because you stole from everybody. Yeah, how's my kid going to learn? Learn at home. When he learns how to be a human being at home, then you can bring him to the shul.

2:33Until he learns how to be a human being and how to behave and how to be quiet. You cannot associate them at a time where everybody comes to talk to God. It's not my problem that you haven't disciplined your kid. I don't have to suffer because you don't know how to tell your kid "no." I don't have to suffer because your kid doesn't know how to be quiet. I shouldn't have to suffer for it. Oh, yeah, but I don't have a babysitter? Stay home. You have no right to steal everybody's prayer time. You have no right. You have no babysitter? Stay home with the baby. No, I need to pray. Stay home. It's not one of the Ten Commandments. Either go to synagogue with your kid or stay home. Pray at home. Plenty of people pray at home. Abaye, Abaye, Abaye—one of the greatest of all greats in the Gemara prayed at home for many, many years until he learned how significant it is to go pray in a minyan. But the point is, you can pray at home. It's not the Ten Commandments. So I sit down with some people, and I tell them, "Listen, you know that whatever things are relevant to them? Sometimes, in certain people, the klipah, the klipah, how do you say, klipah, the shell, the spiritual shell, the peel, something?" Think of it—if you want to visualize it—think of it like a leather jacket.

4:00Think of it like a leather jacket on top of somebody, but not like a regular standard leather jacket. Think of it like a leather jacket, like the whole leather, the whole cow, without going to the factory. The whole leather, you're wearing it. That's the klipah. That's made of our sins. Sometimes certain people have a thin one because they're tzadikim. So you tell them something, immediately it arrives. Oh, wow. I have to do teshuvah. I can't believe it. I didn't think about it. Wow. Wow. Thank you very much, I appreciate you telling me now, it's right away. Some people, you say one thing, they get fifteen things out of it. Some people, I sit with them for an hour, two hours, even if I told you, Rasha, you, I'm talking, it doesn't make a difference. Like, yeah, yeah, you're talking about the guy behind me. you very much. I appreciate you telling me now. It's right away. Some people, you say one thing, they get 15 different things out of it. Some people, I sit with them for an hour, maybe two hours, and even if I tell them they're a rasha, they just don't get it. It's like, "Yeah, yeah, you're talking about the guy behind me." An hour I'm sitting with the guy. An hour I'm sitting with the guy. I'm telling him, no, they, da, da, da. He's like, yeah, you're right, man. You're right. They should do the truth about these people. You're right, these people. I can't believe it. Why isn't anybody else saying stuff like you? And I'm thinking to myself, people, no, I'm talking about him. I'm talking about sex crimes. He's the biggest sex criminal in the zip code. And he's like, yeah, I can't believe people are such terrible people.

5:14Isn't it terrible how some people behave? I can't believe people do that. Can you believe it? He says, "Can you believe it?" And I'm saying, "Yeah, can you believe it?" I think he went crazy. I went crazy. We're both crazy now. Why? Because the person does not see the lack, the deficiency, in himself. Now, what is the source for this? I'll give you a few. One. When Avraham Avinu saw it was time for his dear son, Yitzchak, to get married, there was no shidduch resume in those days. There was no, "Let's put together a shidduch resume and send it to every shadchan, every rabbi, and anyone that has an email." Those days you only allow, Hashem said, you're not allowed to marry anyone from the Canaanites. You can't marry these specific people; there's only a limited world for you to marry your son to. So Avraham Avinu tells his dear servant Eliezer, "Eliezer, swear to me you'll go find my son only somebody who fits these criteria."

6:43Don't find anybody, don't bring anyone, and don't make the argument in your head, "Listen, since no one fits the requirement that Avraham told me, let me bring something else." Like sometimes I would send somebody to go get me a sandwich, and they didn't have the sandwich, so they bring me, like, a cookie. didn't ask you for cookies for a sandwich. Yeah, but you didn't have this sandwich. Okay, so why didn't you bring me a different sandwich? What made you decide to bring a cookie? No, maybe you like cookies. I like to eat too, but cookies are not enough. So the point is, I've had smarter employees, and I told them, "Listen, either you bring me this or don't bring me anything." Clear. And so, he's a better boss than I was; he gives clear instructions: "Either you bring me this or don't bring me anything." Go, take the money, show them we have it. We are this, we are not that. Show them. Okay. Eliezer was the Gadol Hador. He wasn't some nobody; he was a giant. He is one of the ten people who went to Gan Eden alive. Alive. He went to Gan Eden with his clothes on. With his clothes on and everything. Alive. Halvai, we go there after we pass away. Halvai. He went there alive.

8:06So Eliezer, when Avraham Avinu wasn't teaching, Eliezer would take over. When Avraham Avinu was busy with the family, Eliezer would do the shiur. So now Eliezer goes, he takes the camels, he takes the servants, he takes the money, he takes the jewels. He's going with the whole shebang. He arrives, gets to the well, as you read from the parasha, he sees the young girl and tells her, "We come from here. We're related. We're from Avraham Avinu." She responds, "Oh, I'm Leia, ha, tu, ta, ta, everything is good. Okay." Then she asks, "Where's your father?" She goes inside and calls her father. She goes in; who's her brother? He sees the young girl and tells her, "We come from here. We're related. We're from Avraham Avinu." She responds, "Oh, I'm Leah. Everything is good." "Okay, where's your father?" he asks. She goes in to call her father. But who is her brother? Father's between who's who's the brother Lavan? What's Lavan Lavan Harasha? Lavan Harasha! Lavan is the criminal of criminals. How do we know Lavan is the criminal of criminals? Because when Yaakov ran away, the son of Yitzchak ran away from home. Who did he run away from? From Esav. Why did he run away from Esav? Because Esav was a top gangster. So, why are you going to Lavan? He's also evil.

9:27Why are you going to Levan? He's evil. He's evil. No, no. Levan, Levan, even Esav is scared of Levan. Even Esav is scared of Levan. Imagine, this is Amalek, this is Sitra Achra himself. This is Amalek, this is the Satan himself, really. Really, the Satan himself is Levan. So now, Lavan knows Avraham is a Tzaddik. He knows this. He's a Rasha. What does he do? He comes walking, "Oh, Eliezer, how are you? How are you?" So the Peshat, they say, "Oh yeah, Lavan saw the jewels that Eliezer gave to Rivkah, and he said, 'Oh, I could get some money from this guy. The fish showed up in the net.'" That's the Peshat. But there is something else. The Sefarim HaKedoshim say that when Hashem writes in the Torah, that Avraham was blessed with bakol, Avraham was truly blessed with everything.

10:46The Gemara in Masechet Bava Batra, page 116a, says that when Avraham was blessed with "Bakol," he was actually blessed with a daughter named Bakol. Avraham had a daughter named Bakol. That's her name. And Levana HaRasha... was saying, oh, Baruch Haba Avraham, you come to pick me up as the groom for your daughter. That's what Lavan HaRasha thought, oh, Baruch Haba Avraham, you came, you finally recognized my greatness, you finally recognized my glory, you came to pick me up, as if he were the kallah. Oh, you came to pick me up for your daughter. Oh, soft, soft. Oh, you're late, but okay, I'll accept it. Come. And he's like, you know, he's like skipping, skipping to come to Eliezer. No, no, I'll marry your daughter. Fine, fine. The biggest, the giant in the history of mankind, Avraham Avinu, has a daughter and the biggest Rasha in the world, in the history of mankind, Lavan, thinks, oh yeah, I'll marry her.

12:01Why? How could such a person think that? You're a criminal. You kill people for a living. He's Kodesh Kodashim. How can you even think like that? What does the Gemara say? A person does not see the obligation of himself, the deficiencies in himself. He doesn't, even if he's Levan. Lavan did not see himself as a shachor. Lavan means white. Even his name was a lie. He was shachor. He was black. The reality is black indeed. The point is, that this guy is mamash evil of evils, but he's like skipping. Oh, hi. Hello. Finally, you come. Nice for you to recognize me. Why? He doesn't see it. No. If a person like him were to see, wouldn't he suffer? Yes, that's how you do teshuva. You suffer; that's the beginning of teshuva. So now you fast forward. You fast forward, rabotai yekarim, you fast forward several generations, and you look at what Yonatan ben Uzziel said about Bilaam.

13:24Gemara Masechet Megillah, in the beginning of Gemara Masechet Megillah, it says that the first part of the Oral Torah was written by Yonatan ben Uziel, and when he wrote it, the entire world shook—especially Eretz Yisrael shook—and you felt the earthquake 400 miles away in Eretz Yisrael. And then a bat kol came from Shamayim and said, "Who disclosed the secrets of Heaven to men of flesh and blood?" And Yonatan ben Uzziel responded, "I didn't do it for myself and I didn't do it for the honor of my father, but rather I did it for Your glory, and I wish to continue with the rest of the Torah." And the bat kol came from Shamayim and said, "You've done enough." Why, why have you done enough? Don't write anymore, because if he would have continued, he would have disclosed the exact timing of the Mashiach. Hashem says, "I don't want the people to know when Mashiach is going to come." So Yonatan Ben Uzziel, when he would study Torah, there was a spiritual fire that would reach the sky like a Mishkan.

14:39Spiritual fire would reach the sky, and if a bird flew over it, it would be burned. Korban becomes Korban. What does Yonatan ben Uziel say about this? He says Lavan HaArami zeh Bil'am. Lavan HaArami is really Bil'am. No gilgul, it's actually Bil'am. It's actually Bilaam. They changed his name. Why? Because of his deeds. Part of his deeds was to livloa. He would, in essence, swallow. He wanted to swallow Am Yisrael. He wanted to kill everyone. As part of his evilness, they changed his name to Bilaam. Many, many years. I don't have his birth certificate on me yet. But the point is, Rabotai, Lavan is Bilaam. How do we know? What's the proof? What's the proof that Lavan is Bilaam? What's the proof? Bilaam HaRasha, Bilaam HaRasha, is now cursing the sons and daughters of Hashem Yitbarach. He wants to curse them, he wants to kill them, but yet he has the nerve.

16:05He has the nerve to say the following: "May my soul expire the same way as the Yesharim, the righteous." Chazal, our Sages, say, "Who are these Yesharim?" Oh, may my soul have the same ending as the Yesharim. The Yesharim, meaning Avraham, Yitzchak, and Yaakov. Bilaam HaRasha, the wicked one, is trying to kill Am Yisrael. He says, oh, may I have the same ending as Avraham, Yitzchak, and Yaakov. You want to act like Bilaam, but you want the ending of the most righteous people in history, Avraham, Yitzchak, and Yaakov. Why? A person does not see the deficiency in himself. He didn't do it at the time he saw Eliezer. He's not doing it when he sees the descendants. same person. And this, Rabotai, if you pay attention throughout the entire Torah, you see this repeated time after time by all of the Resha'im that ever lived. All of the Resha'im, all of the people that went against Hashem, always had the same attitude.

17:27Same attitude of seeing an obligation in everybody else and nothing in themselves. When Pharaoh met with Moshe and Moshe says, "We want to leave to the desert; we want to, you know, as Hashem commanded us." Pharaoh responds, "You're trying to cheat me." What cheat? You cheated them out of their life. You cheated people out of their life. What do you worry about cheating? You cheated people out of their life; you're killing people for a living. Pharaoh doesn't see the obligation himself. So this is another place. Shlomo HaMelech writes this a couple of times in Mishlei, in Proverbs chapter 14 verse 12 and also chapter 16 verse 25. Shlomo HaMelech Writes this not once, but twice. Most of the time, you see Shlomo HaMelech, when he writes something, he writes it one time. Why? You get the point; he doesn't repeat himself.

18:27But here, he felt it's not enough to write it once. In fact, this is not only written once or twice by Shlomo HaMelech. It's in the Gemara. It's all over the Shas multiple times. It's in the Midrash. It's in Yalkut Shimoni. It's in the Zohar. It's all over the Torah. The principle of not seeing the deficit in ourselves. And he writes, in his verse, he explains to us that... The way that seems right to a man, but in the end, are the ways of death. Meaning, the guy thinks that what he's doing is right. But that's going to lead him to his doom. Why? If you're looking in the mirror and you see somebody, and you think you're a tzaddik, you think you don't have to do teshuva, that's going to lead you to death. What's death? Death means Gehenom. You're not a tzaddik. Not you, but I'm saying that if you look in a mirror and see a tzaddik, you're definitely not a tzaddik. If you look in a mirror and think you're a tzaddik, that alone is a sign that you're definitely not a tzaddik.

19:37At best-case scenario, if you're fulfilling the entire Torah, you're 50-50. That's according to the Rambam, since the rule is supposed to be that if you're following the entire Torah, you're still 50-50. Why 50-50? Because the next action is either going to make you a tzaddik (righteous person) or a rasha (wicked person). Even the Kohen Gadol, for 80 years, on the last day of his life before he died, he felt he became a Sadducee, a heretic. Kohen Gadol, everybody relied on him for prayers every year. In order for him to survive Yom Kippur, he had to be a real tzaddik. And he was a real tzaddik for 80 years. Before he died, he became a heretic. You are not allowed to look at yourself as a tzaddik. Why? Because once you see yourself as a tzaddik, that already shows that you have put your spirituality in parking and... You're not going to continue doing teshuvah. You're not going to continue developing yourself. You're not going to continue serving Hashem if you think that you're okay. So the person who actually really has a chance to be a tzaddik is someone with an attitude like those who were tzaddikim. If you look at those who were tzaddikim, you look at Avraham Avinu. What does Avraham Avinu say about himself? "I am dust and ashes." Avraham Avinu! He says, "I am dust and ashes."

21:00What does Moshe Rabbeinu say? I'm nothing. Not even dust and ashes. Nothing. What does David HaMelech say? I'm a worm but not a man. But these were the most righteous tzaddikim in the history of mankind. Exactly. That's why they were tzaddikim. It's not that they had self-conscious problems and no confidence. No, they knew the obligation versus what they were doing. They knew the master versus the servant. We sometimes confuse the positions, and you can tell that with the prayers. Sometimes the prayers are instead of praying to Hashem, we're telling Him what to do. Self-conscious problems and no confidence. No, it's that they knew the obligation versus what they were doing. They knew who the master is versus who the servant is. We sometimes confuse the positions. You can tell that with the prayers; sometimes the prayers are, instead of praying to Hashem, telling Him what to do.