Help Us Cure LaShon HaRa by Rabbi Yaron Reuven (Introducing Rabbi Daniel Hershko CD) (19 minutes)

1:07He did a few lectures, maybe six lectures, about lashon hara regarding rabbis. When people speak lashon hara about rabbis, such as, "Hey, I don't like this rabbi," or "Hey, this rabbi is a jerk," or "Hey, this rabbi talks too much," or "Hey, this rabbi looks funny," people say all types of things about rabbis. They will make comments on the internet about rabbis. Yesterday, you know, I always like to... I like to look at the comments after the shiurim, whether live or on YouTube. I look at the comments, although I don't always reply. Most of the time, I don't reply because there are too many comments, and I can't reply to all of them. I like to look at the comments to see what people say as well. I like to see who's watching, so people say "Hi from Malaysia." Somebody in Malaysia is watching. Somebody in Malaysia is learning Torah with us. "Hi from Tahiti, hi from Buenos Aires, hi from Texas, hi from different places around the world." People are watching the shiur online, and they make some nice comments.

2:10But once in a while, you get this menuval that has to go in there. There's always a menuval. There's always someone that's despicable. There's always someone that's despicable that has to ruin the party. Sometimes they bring their idol worship. They say, "Oh, JC Penney, go worship him." So some people respond to them, "Yeah, if we worship him, we go to Gehenom. Why do we want to do it? Go away." So sometimes they try to missionize in a group. And I always tell people, don't reply to these people. They feed off of your reply. If you don't reply, they go away. It's like a fly; it goes away eventually. But if you respond to them, you're telling them there's some action over here. And their whole goal is being Amalek. What's the goal of Amalek? Amalek's goal is to cool you down. That's his goal. Amalek's goal is not to kill you physically. Amalek's goal is to kill you spiritually, to cool you down, make you have questions, and make sure that you're not paying attention to the answers. Make sure that you're not doing teshuva. So if you're answering these people that are talking about avodah zarah, all types of other nonsense, you're not listening to the shiur Torah. You're not listening to the shiur Torah. What are you doing online then? Might as well go read a book.

3:32So, don't answer these people ever. If you're online watching a shiur, don't answer anybody. In general, avoid talking in the comments. If you want to say hi, fine, just say hi so I know you watched. But generally, refrain from engaging in discussions there because it defeats the whole purpose of watching a lecture. You won't end up listening to the lecture. The whole point is the lecture itself, not talking to others. If you want to teach, go do a shiur of your own. Some people go on there thinking they're there to teach. Oh, you know, I heard this, and then somebody else says, "Oh, yeah, but I heard something else." Oh, you realize you're disturbing 3,000 people right now with your comment. Ding, ding, ding, ding, every two seconds. Not everybody knows how to disable it. Not everybody is as young and smart as you. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to disable comments. So, the thing is, though, that people make foolish comments, and sometimes they make comments that... Most surprising, but not surprising, was the reaction. It's actually not surprising. They're supposedly religious Jews, yet they don't like to hear the truth. For example, yesterday, a so-called religious Jew made a comment. I was talking about modesty in last night's shiur, and I was explaining to the women how the skirts have to be long, and so on and so forth.

4:53And this person, probably a woman, did not like it. And she says, "You should be ashamed of yourself. The length of a woman's skirt is none of your business." So if it's none of my business, why are we learning Torah then? Nothing is my business, nothing is your business, nothing is anybody's business. Go back to Sodom and Gomorrah, do whatever you want. Why are you a religious Jew then? You tell people what the halacha is, you tell people what the truth is. And sometimes, they don't like to hear it. So, people make these types of comments. Now, why do I mention this? What is this whole introduction for? The problem with making such a comment is that, for me, I don't really care. I laugh at it; it's funny to me. I think it's very sad that people think their comment against me is actually going to, they actually think it's going to change my mind or that I'm going to stop talking about it or anything. It doesn't change anything for me. The problem is not with me. Problem is with Hashem. Why is the problem with Hashem? Because when you make a comment publicly against the rabbi, that could easily discourage another person from watching him. You now took that person's soul, and it's in your hands. That rabbi could have easily helped that person do teshuva. He had the right words. Hashem gave him the right words and...

6:18Say that that specific person is going to say, "Ah, you know what? I'm going to do teshuva. Oh, Shabbat, I mean, I never knew it was that serious. I'm going to start keeping it. Oh, lashon hara, I never knew it was that serious. I'm going to stop talking so much. Oh, I didn't know that Hashem wanted me to be honest with my business. Even if it's with this, people don't know." So sometimes there's a specific speaker that's going to say what you need to hear. Now, if that speaker logged on and... He saw that the first comment he saw was a negative comment about the Rabbi. It’s like, who wants to be a part of this? People don’t like this guy, so he turns it off, or he turns on, I don’t know, a show about ducks being rescued from the highway instead. He doesn’t do teshuva. Whose fault is it? It’s not the Rabbi’s fault. Whose fault is it? It’s the imbecile that made the comment, thinking that they're going to change something. The only thing they changed is they changed their Gan Eden into a Gehinnom. That's the only thing they changed. A person can lose their Olam HaBa in a second. One second, they can lose their Olam HaBa. The people that went against David HaMelech that we talked about last time I was here, they were heads of the Sanhedrin. They weren't just regular people, sometimes keep Shabbat, sometimes not, maybe go to the casino a few times a year. No! These were head Rabbanim. These were Gedolei HaDor.

7:41Doleado lost their olam haba due to lashon hara. The Rambam in Mishneh Torah states that someone who speaks lashon hara once in a while has a din. It's a very horrible, horrible sin. Of course, we're not talking, as he says in his language, we're not talking about someone... Talks Lashon Hara on a regular basis because to him there's nothing to speak about. He has no olam haba, but someone that speaks Lashon Hara once in a while could potentially lose olam haba, but it depends how great or horrible it is. Someone that speaks it regularly has no chance. No chance. Hey, how are you? Oh, did you see what she was wearing? Oh, did you see how much money he made? Hey, did you see how much he did this? You keep Shabbat, Tefillin, Rabbeinu Tam, Rashi, Arizal, three Tefillin you have in your head. You keep Shabbat every day. Seven days a week you have Shabbat. It's not going to help you. Speaking Lashon Hara, people are destroying neshamot. Someone shared this story.

9:01In the name of Socrates, I always doubt the name-dropping that people do. But let's say it's his name. Suppose somebody came to him and said, "Hey, I have a story to tell you about your friend." He said, "Wait, before you tell me the story, I want to ask you a few questions. Sure. Is it true?" Is the story you're about to tell me about my friend true? He says, to be honest with you, I'm not really sure. I'm not sure if it's true. I heard it from somebody else. Okay. Is what you're about to tell me a compliment about my friend? Is it something good about my friend? No, quite the opposite. It’s actually that she was caught doing something wrong. No, it's definitely not a compliment.

10:04It's what you're about to say. Third question. It's about what you're about to say. Is it useful for me? Is it going to help me in my life? He says, come to think of it, probably not. No, it's really not going to affect you in any way. So let me get this straight. You're about to tell me something about my friend that you're not really sure is true. You didn't verify. You didn't see it with your own eyes. It's definitely not a compliment to my dear friend. It's not going to help my friend. And it's not going to help me. That's lashon hara. That's lashon hara. That's lashon hara 99.9% of the time. That's lashon hara. Now, Rabbi Dani is here to help you. Rabbi Dani made a series. These are three CDs. More are going to come out. 150 lectures. You have to watch this material. It's short lectures, 15 minutes, a half hour, perfect for the way to work or in the gym. You have to listen to this content. Sometimes two or three times, the same lecture. Because he really delves into the Chafetz Chaim, halacha by halacha, explaining why this and why that. So now you won't go up to Shamayim and say, "Oh no, no, they didn't tell me." They didn't tell me. He told you. You have a CD. How much? Free. Free. You can save your neshama for free.

11:30So I brought you some. Anyone who didn't get any, I have more. You have that. It's on YouTube. He has a website as well. He's also in my WhatsApp groups. He posts in my WhatsApp groups. So Baruch Hashem, he does some really good stuff, some really good work, Baruch Hashem. He's a lover of Hashem. He's a lover of Am Yisrael. And there aren't many people like that in the world, unfortunately. So, Baruch Hashem, when you find somebody good, you go. Today's lesson, number 163. God willing, we will do and succeed, and Hashem, with His mercy, will have success with us, with our actions. Success in actions of Torah. The laws of proper speech. Page 103, Halacha 6. The subject is people who speak negatively about those who have a mitzvah, who fulfill a mitzvah solely between them and Hashem. So number six is the following. And it seems to me...

12:40In addition to everything I said before in today's lesson 162, right? In lesson 161 or 160, I spoke previously on this subject. It seems to me that when a person... it's going to the last halacha, it's adding something. A person whose way of going, his judgment, meaning he's used to this, it's a routine for him. He fails, he fails, he fails, he fails. All the time, he repeats the same problem. He doesn't know how to cure his actions. Even though if his rabbi is not so modest and the rabbi might share the information you are telling him about his student with others, you know, in Hebrew we say a person is so... materialistic, he's so aggressive, he judges people, or also if he speaks Lashon Hara regularly, or if he passes on a mitzvah between him and Hashem, you can ask, where is he praying?

13:58I mean, if he's praying there, maybe this is a little bit of criticizing the leaders. If he's praying there for 15 years and he's doing these aveiros, either he's not being taught correctly or he's not being rebuked correctly. In both cases, it's not right. That's why he says, even if his rebbe is not tzanua, is not modest, Meaning here that when you speak about other people, there's a certain flavor to it. You're not being modest. How can you speak about people? It's not modest. Do you see the chiddush? It's not modest to speak about people. Why are you revealing people's actions? It's not modest. One of the levers to reach big madrigot in ruchnius is to be modest. You are modest. Keep yourself modest. Understand that people surround you. That's how you reach high spiritual levels. Feel the surroundings. People are sensitive; people have issues; people have family problems; people have parnassah problems. Try to be considerate. Try to be modest, and do not talk about their business. So even if there's this person who has the Avera between him and HaKadosh Baruch Hu, even if his Rav is not modest,

15:08so much so that it's possible he will tell the story to others. He's a person who, if you tell him about the aveira (transgression) that the other guy did between him and Hashem, and you tell it to him, the person will listen to him, even though he might spread it around. It's possible that it's allowed to tell the Rav, who might then share the story with others, to provide a chance for this person to improve his ways. So you can see here how important the fact is. ensure that we must rebuke people properly. Even if we tell it to a Rav who might spread it to others or tell the person in public, consider the circumstances carefully. I heard that you're doing something, and I'm not certain about the details. For instance, I heard that you took a bottle of water with you on Shabbat in the area of techum Shabbat. That's insulting and can be disgraceful. Remember, the Chafetz Chaim explains that you should rebuke, but not disgrace. Sometimes it's a very fine line.

16:18So when you disgrace someone, you carry a sin with you. If I rebuke you and also disgrace you, in a way that I cross the line, then I have sinned. Sometimes it's a very fine line. It's like dancing. In rebuke, you might touch the line of the dust of disgrace, but you must go back to rebuke. The reason is... The reason is because we have to make sure that we don't disgrace people, because if we disgrace somebody, it's like taking the blood out of his face—it's like you murdered him. Again, sometimes a person is engaged in such a serious aveira, and he's so rough, such a coarse person, that the walls of his heart are so thick that you cannot break them with a plastic hammer.

17:22In order to penetrate his selfishness and his hard middot, you have to go with a 10-kilo hammer. And it takes talent to realize who needs it and who doesn't need it. When you need to use cotton candy and when you need to use a 20-pound hammer, especially when demolishing a black wall. That's why some people don't understand that this Rav is perceived as too aggressive. Maybe he's too aggressive for you, but he's coming to break hearts that are one foot thick concrete. Like the Navi says, in the last days, there will come people, the prophets, I think you have, what's his name? This is a prophecy. In the last days, Hashem will remove the hearts of stone that we have, which means there will be Rabbis, talented Rabbis, who are able to rebuke people, to take it so hard, to penetrate their heart, to make them make teshuva, that these people will never be awakened with soft words because they don't see where they're wrong. So, we should continue next time. It was worth it to learn a few minutes. This is a prophecy. In the last days, Hashem will remove the hearts of stone that we have. This means there will be rabbis, talented rabbis, who are able to rebuke people and penetrate their hearts, making them do teshuva. These people would never have been awakened with soft words because they don't see where they are wrong. So, we should continue next time. It was worth it to learn for a few minutes.

18:29We're going to start the holy Gemara learning now with Rabbi Yoni. I wish everybody a good day. May we have nachat from our children, and we should see only growth in our kids, each to their own level. We should see our kids being modest and growing in the ways of the Torah. May they have happiness with their wives and shalom bayit in the home, setting an example that we are Bnei Torah, sons of Torah. Wish everybody a good day and a continuation of a good week. Thank you.