How Commercials are Ruining Your Marriage? (8 minutes)

1:17that if she wears fewer clothes, she looks better. This has nothing to do with what type of clothes, just less. And this is the warped mentality that we have. This is why any wife That woman who wants to have a good marriage, the first thing she needs to do is get rid of television. She shouldn't have television in her house. Why? What does she care? She likes to watch Oprah, she likes to watch all these shows, whatever shows there are still on television. What's wrong with television? Because when you bring television into your home, you're essentially bringing competition. And you're guaranteed to lose. Because your husband's going to come home from wherever he went. He's going to put on television. And if anyone ever watched television, Baruch Hashem, I haven't watched it for a few years, but I'm sure it's still the same. There's no one ugly on TV. Even the ugly people are good-looking. So your husband is there. He's eating the steak you slaved over. He's shooing the kids that you were praying to have.

2:23He's just thinking about, "I just want to be left alone and watch TV, watch the game, watch a bunch of people throw a ball, watch some show that talks about money, whatever." He is wasting his life doing something, watching TV. Then, a commercial comes on. A nice half-naked girl appears on TV and tells him to buy soap. And from that moment on, he will always think of that woman when he uses soap. Even if he is intimate with his own wife. And any man that has a backbone will admit that if you've ever seen an immodest woman, there are specific times you think about them. These are the specific times: during prayer and during a time you're with your own wife. So, while this wife has worked hard to make dinner for her husband, prepare the house, create a nice home for him, and do everything out of love and care, he starts thinking about another woman when he looks at her. Whose fault is it? It's her fault? Congratulations, you're married to someone who doesn't even appreciate you.

3:40So when you bring a TV into your house, you're bringing in competition. And you can't win. Why can't you win? Because on TV, she has makeup artists, and she always looks her best. In real life, the wife doesn't always look her best. She goes to sleep at some point. She puts on pajamas. She's not wearing a fancy gown like she did at the wedding. Maybe she wants to put on, I don't know, comfortable clothes. So now he looks at the... you know, a model on television, and he looks at his wife, and he looks at the model, and he looks at his wife. He's like, I can get her. Every guy thinks this. Every guy thinks he can get the girl on TV. And it creates an inner battle in him of whether he should stay even married, b'chlal. And then, when he goes outside, he starts looking for this girl, thinking he's going to find her. And she's in his mind all the time. Whose fault is it? It's the wife's fault. She allowed the enemy inside. So, any wife that wants a good marriage should eliminate the competition first. The second thing is beauty, allowing only your husband to see it. If you're the type of woman who doesn't want to be modest,

5:01And you want to go and show Joey and Steve at the supermarket what your skin looks like. But then when your husband comes home, you're only wearing sweatpants and t-shirts. Don't be surprised if he divorces you after five years. Outside, to Joey, Steve, and Wilbur, you're looking at your best. "Hi, how are you? Yes, thank you for putting my food in my cart," with the eight-inch heels. And then your husband comes home, he sees Tisha B'Av. It looks like he just woke up. Who wants to get married to that? So, if you do the opposite, you don't necessarily need to look unattractive when you go outside, but look extra special for your husband, and don't show the world the goods. Make sure he knows this is just for him. This is one of the many reasons why a Jewish woman is obligated to cover her hair with a scarf or a hat.

6:02Because a big part of a woman's beauty is her hair. This is a very big difficulty for women today. But I can tell you that when you do that, you are guaranteeing your husband that you are his. Why? Because he's the only one allowed to see it. Then you're the diamond that you really are. And I'll answer your question in a second. How do we know? If, let's say, for example, any one of you struck it rich and found a hundred million dollar diamond. A hundred million dollar diamond doesn't necessarily need to be that big. Now, would you go in the middle of the street and throw it like a ball, like a baseball, to show it to the world? When he's the only one allowed to see it, then you're the diamond that you really are. And I'll answer your question in a second. Then you're the diamond that you really are. How do we know? If, let's say, for example, any one of you struck it rich and found a hundred-million-dollar diamond. A hundred-million-dollar diamond doesn't necessarily need to be that big. Now, would you go in the middle of the street and throw it like a ball, like a baseball, to show it to the world? Probably not, right? What do you do? You put it in a safe, and you put that safe into another safe, and that safe into another safe, and another safe, and then tell everyone it's inside, but it's really in a different safe. Because you want to protect it. Why can't you protect your beauty? Why can't you show it only to the man you promised to be with? Why do you have to show it to Steve? Why do you have to show it to Wilbur? And Carlos?

7:11Why? Why do they have to see you that way? You promised your eternity to be with this man. Why does Carlos have to also see the same thing he sees? And even more so, why are you showing such provocative behavior in front of him? You don't want to be with him. So what's the point? And I can tell you something that happened in the Gemara, and then I'll answer your question. What does modesty mean in the Gemara? Two simple stories. In the Gemara Masechet Berachot, It says if a man that's getting change, you know, he paid for something from a woman, and she has to give him change, gives him money back, he's allowed to do business with a woman, there's nothing wrong with it. But if he's getting change or giving her change, slowly, specifically so he can use that time to look at her, and even if it's just his hands, even if it's just her hands, he can have the mitzvot in the Torah of Moshe Rabbeinu, and he would still have to go to Gehenom for that. That's what modesty means to Hashem. Why? Because she belongs to another. You thief, why are you looking at her? specifically, so he can use that time to look at her, and even if it’s just her hands, he wouldn't be fulfilling the mitzvot in the Torah of Moshe Rabbeinu; in fact, he would still have to go to Gehinnom for that. That's what modesty means to Hashem. Why? Because she belongs to another. You thief, why are you looking at her?