How to achieve complete repentance for wasting seed? ( 8 minutes)

0:01Time to stop. How do we stop? Why stop, aside from being scared to death? How do you do teshuva for something like this? There are a few things. First and foremost, teshuva means you have to stop immediately. You cannot continue this sin one more time. Someone starts, they don't do it for a week, two weeks, three weeks, four weeks; they fail,

1:33Satan doesn't want to see you online. Doing teshuva for something like this is important as it can save many people. To begin doing teshuva, you need to start by guarding your eyes. Secondly, you should practice not touching at all, and limit it as much as possible. I know it can be difficult, especially for a man. You have to do whatever you can. Whatever you can. Especially if you're single. If you're married, Baruch Hashem, you have your wife. If you're single, if there was a way to not go to the bathroom, I tell you, don't go to the bathroom. Because when you're single, it's almost impossible. The third thing is, if you're single, you have to find yourself a wife. Stop being one of these losers that's 40 years old still looking for the perfect woman.

2:33Find a wife. Be a normal person. Don't worry about it. You'll develop love over time. I'm serious. There are many guys I went to yeshiva with. They're in their 40s and 45. They're still looking for the perfect one. What are they looking for, in clubs? No, I couldn't find the perfect one. I thought I had it. When? 20 years ago. Okay, what about now? You're 45 years old. What are you waiting for? Find a woman. Settle down. Get a wife. That's it. She doesn't have to be, you know, the number one person on earth. Just find somebody, settle down, you'll develop love over time. If you guys have something in common, if you can tolerate each other, if you can have a connection, if you have chemistry, that's it. It doesn't have to be a Marilyn Monroe and, you know, one of these other, I don't know, Brad Pitt or something. Just normal people. Build a family, build a future. Just have something in common. That's it. It doesn't require this. This shidduch crisis that we have today is all because we can't watch our eyes. The men can't stop looking at immodest women. So they think that the tzaddeiket that just came from Beit Yaakov is supposed to look like the prostitute he saw in the mall. And the women, unfortunately, some women are very materialistic.

3:53Why? Because they watch TV, they look at these magazines, and they see that all these celebrities have this and that. So, the guy is chasing money to keep up with the girl's expectations, and they both drive each other crazy. There shouldn't be a shidduch crisis. There's plenty of men, there's plenty of women. Every single day, someone asks me if I have a shidduch for them. How could it be that there's a crisis? There are guys that want a shidduch, there are girls that want a shidduch. What, you can't meet each other? What's the problem? Find yourself a wife. If it's not because of anything else, it's to stop this sin. Stop this sin. I'm telling you, it's such a horrendous sin. I have a lot of health problems. Anyone that wants to know my personal story, you can watch last night's shiur. It's online. B'ezrat Hashem, it will be online tonight. I know suffering. One thing I understand is suffering. I had many, many years of suffering. pain and screaming and surgeries and pills. All types of wonderful suffering. Baruch Hashem. I know what suffering is. I'm an expert in suffering. You want to know again? It looks like I could tell you. In this world, not the other one. I know what it looks like. I know what suffering is. You don't want it. You don't want suffering. It's a nightmare.

5:13You need to get yourself a wife. It's the second most important thing. If you don't have a wife, get yourself a wife. Work on it, work on it. Aside from learning Torah, it has to become number one in your priorities. Number three, as the Rambam says, those who waste seed and spend their time on futile pursuits are people who are empty-minded. They lack chochmah, wisdom; they have nothing in their heads. They're bored to death, and boredom leads to sin, just as Shlomo HaMelech told us. Can't be bored. Can't find yourself bored. What do you have to do? You have to go learn Torah. Stop being a batlan, doing nothing with your life. Watching sports is boredom. Watching television is boredom. You can watch TV for nine hours and not even realize nine hours passed because your neshama went to sleep. Your body is just dead. Nothing happens. Whether the guy died or he lived, whether the team won or not, it doesn't affect your life. You're just wasting your life. You've got to spend time developing your neshamah, developing your brain. Arizal here says, you want to rectify all the seed that you wasted? You have to sweat for mitzvot. Because each drop of sweat that comes out of your body due to a mitzvah is fixing one drop of seed that came out of your body. So, in Simchat Torah,

6:43You should be the guy that runs around and sweats his eyes out with the Torah, celebrating for the mitzvah. You're supposed to be happy. Run around, have a good time. If it's hard in the kollel, you should study even extra. Hard in yeshiva, study extra. Sweat doing a mitzvah. Literally sweat. Because each one of them is mamash (truly) helping you out. Most important thing is you have to learn difficult Torah. Learning nice Sipurei Tzadikim, listening to a nice story, yeah, it's fine, it's good, it's not bad. But for this sin, you have to choose your suffering. There are two types of suffering as far as this Teshuva. It's either suffering by your choice, or suffering that's not your choice. So it's either you force yourself to learn difficult Gemara and pretty much... to the point of ripping your hair out of your head and struggling at 1:30 in the morning. Instead of getting 8 hours of sleep, you only got 5 because you struggled to learn some Torah. Otherwise, Hashem is going to give you different suffering. You don't want that suffering. You have to struggle. That's what Amal BaTorah is. The Or HaChaim, in one of his 42 pirushim, says Amal BaTorah means Amal BaTorah.

8:11means difficult Torah. Learning Torah is difficult. It's not easy. The Midrashim are nice. Sippurei Tzaddikim are nice. A little tape here, a little CD there, it's all nice. But if it's easy for you, it's not going to fix the sin. It's good for Torah, but it's not enough if you have the sin, like pretty much every single person that's alive today.