How To Do TeShuva? - MUSSAR Iggeret HaRAMBAN (32)

0:17Very good to see our old friends. Come and visit us. We'll see you guys on a regular basis again. Today's shiur will be for a special refuah shleima for our dear student Batya bat Sara. She is, Baruch Hashem, delivering a baby as we speak. Baruch Hashem, HaKadosh Baruch Hu will deliver the baby in a healthy, happy way, a beautiful baby. Baruch Hashem, another holy soul in the world, and also give the ima refuah shleima, refuas hanefesh, refuas haguf. Also a Refuah Shlema for David Ben Esriah, Doris Bat Jorah, Levana Bat Sarah, Rav Ephraim Ben Shulamit, Rebbetzin Sarah Bat Anat, Dvora Bat Mercedes, Esther Bat Zipporah, and all of Am Yisrael, Bezrat Hashem, will have Refuah Shlema, Refuat HaNefesh, and Refuat HaGuf. Also, Stefan Ben Katarina will have Refuah Shlema, Refuat HaNefesh, and Refuat HaGuf. And Refuat HaNefesh, Refuat HaGuf, to all of those confused souls that really...

1:41have not had the opportunity to see the truth yet, and they will see it very soon, B'ezrat Hashem, as HaKadosh Baruch Hu is rebuking the world as we speak with a lot of scary things that are happening that we've discussed in the past that are getting scarier by the day. Not that I watch the news, but I just see how people, you know, what they send me. You know, usually people send me their problems and their worries, and when you get three or four messages every few hours about the same thing, whether it's the coronavirus, or it's different issues with government, and so on, you see that this is what's on people's minds. So, Baruch Hashem, B'Siyata Dishmaya, the, what was it, a week or two weeks ago, we were asked, If we think of this coronavirus, if we think it's because of the Chinese people eating bats and cats and dogs and all types of foods like this, and I told you that no, I don't think that's the reason. The reason why is because they've always eaten bats and cats and dogs and things of that nature. And that's also why we know that Adam HaRishon was not Chinese.

2:55It says in the Torah that the descendant of Noah was the Sini. His grandson was the Sini, the Chinese. Which means that he is one generation after Shem. Shem is where Am Yisrael comes from. And the Sini is the Chinese. He's the grandson of Noah. So we know that Adam HaRishon wasn't a Sini. But there's another proof that we know that Adam HaRishon wasn't a Sini, he wasn't Chinese, because if he was Chinese, he would have eaten the snake and the whole story would be ruined. So, we said some time ago that it's not from them eating all of those disgusting foods, but more likely because of them eating animals while they're alive; that's more likely. But potentially, some other things, like, in my opinion, I've had this opinion since day one, I just don't have necessarily enough evidence to prove it—it's potentially a lot more than eating animals.

4:00When you make the animal your husband or your wife, that seems more in line. But really, more than anything else, as we learned from the Chafetz Chaim, when one of the Rabbanim that went to Africa came to him and told him, "Listen, Rav, I just came back from Africa, raising some money for the yeshiva." And I want to tell you about the kehillah over there. And the Chafetz Chaim says, well, before you tell me about the kehillah, can you tell me a little bit about the goyim over there? The black people over there, the white people over there. Is there still a lot of hatred between the two? And the rabbi didn't understand the Chafetz Chaim's question: Why do you care about the goyim? So the Chafetz Chaim says, what do you mean, why do I care? Of course I care. If there are problems that are happening to the goyim, that's a rebuke for Am Yisrael. That's HaKadosh Baruch Hu warning Am Yisrael that if you don't do teshuva, this is going to happen to you, chas v'shalom.

5:01So if you hear that, he says, Chafetz Chaim says, if you hear that there's an earthquake or a tsunami in some country, in Asia, in different places, you should know this is HaKadosh Baruch Hu warning Am Yisrael. Even if there are no Jews there. And even if the goyim deserve it. It's still a rebuke for Am Yisrael. It's always connected to Am Yisrael. Always. So the reality is that you see, very interestingly, that this coronavirus is becoming scary for many people because the cure is obviously non-existent at this stage, at least a man-made cure. And the numbers and reports on it are constantly misleading. On one hand, they tell you that only 800 people died from it. On the other hand, you have one of the billionaires of China who came out and told everybody that the Chinese government is lying. There are at least 1.5 million confirmed cases.

6:06The difference between a few hundred or even a few thousand and 1.5 million means this is something that could become a global epidemic in hours, if HaKadosh Baruch Hu decides so. Now, someone asked me yesterday, "Are you worried about Corona?" And I said, no. Not because I'm a superhero. Not because I'm anything. But I'm not worried about Corona. Why am I not worried about Corona? If I was worried about Corona, I'd give you a speech with a mask on. Maybe it's a good look for me. I don't know. But why am I not worried about Corona? Because I have much bigger worries. The bigger worry is I'm worried about Hashem. And I'm worried about whether Hashem is going to decide to use Corona or something much worse to rebuke us if we do not do teshuva. Because teshuva is the only cure. It's the only cure for every problem. Whether it's a global epidemic, whether it's a financial crisis, whether it's a marriage crisis, difficulties with children, whatever it is, teshuva is the only answer.

7:21And if people simply understood and applied what I just said in just the beginning, the first few minutes of this shiur, you would see that many, many miracles happen, just like they've happened in the past. But if people continue thinking that everything is in their hands, in their power, and they want to call it, you know, they want to call it effort, as if it's a mitzvah, to do all types of things, while ignoring what we're really supposed to do, Things are not going to get better. It's a sad movie that repeats itself over and over and over again. But HaKadosh Baruch Hu has unlimited mercy. And if He wants somebody to live, that person will live. If you want somebody to die, that person will die. Of course, a person should not put themselves in harm's way. Don't go and give a big hug to somebody that has an infection. But at the same token, should you worry about it? If you want to worry about it because you're bored, go ahead, worry about it. I personally think you should worry about what Hashem says you should worry about, which is you should worry about doing teshuvah.

8:29Because Hashem did not say in the Torah, "If you don't find a cure, I'm going to kill you." He didn't say that. There's not a pasuk in the Torah that says, "If you don't find a cure for any virus, if you don't make a certain amount of money, if you don't become really popular." He never said that. "I'm going to kill you." He never said that. But He did say, "If you're intimate with a woman and she's niddah, I'm going to kill you." If you waste seed, I'm going to kill you. If you violate Shabbat on purpose, I'm going to kill you. That He said. If you curse Hashem, I'm going to kill you. You worship an idol, I'm going to kill you. That He said. That's what I'm worried about. You don't do teshuva, I'm going to kill you. That's what He said. So now I'm worried about what Hashem says. And that's what every person needs to get themselves to. We talked about the news and how much of a waste of time it is. But at the same token, there's more important news. Every week we have news. It's called Parashat HaShavua. In this week's parasha, we have something very peculiar. We have, if you could call a certain spot in the Torah the most exciting event.

9:47the climax, if you will, of the entire Torah, if you can call one, because in reality, every part of the Torah is equal. There's no such thing as this one's more important, that one's more important. That's why the Chachamim said that any kehillah that has a horrible custom where, when they hear the Ten Commandments read, they stand up. You should stop them from doing it. They're not allowed. Why? Because they're treating the Ten Commandments as if it's more important than any other pasuk in the Torah. And I literally mean any other pasuk. Even the pasuk that says that Esav gave birth to such and such kids. That Yaakov came down to Egypt with 70 neshamot. Or that Bereishit bara Elokim et ha-shamayim v'et ha-aretz. Hashem created in the beginning the heaven and the earth. Any other pasuk is no different than any other pasuk in the Torah. So when you stand and give more honor to one pasuk over another, you're mistaken. You're mistaken. The Rambam writes very, very critically about it, and many others.

10:51nonetheless, if you can call, let's say, the story aspect of the Torah—because it's not a story; it's a book of laws that has stories in it—and the story part, if you can call something the most exciting, this week would be it. Why? The purpose of the world is being achieved; we are receiving the Torah. Right now, 3,330 years ago, we were at Mount Sinai, listening and seeing God's voice. All of us. We were at Mount Sinai. You don't remember. You have bad memories, you guys. I know. We'll work on it. 3,330 years ago. Now, You sitting here three thousand years ago, you weren't sitting; you were standing on Mount Sinai. You were hearing and seeing God's voice telling you, "I am the God that took you out of Egypt. Don't worship any other god. Don't worship idols," and so on and so forth. We heard the first two commandments, then we told Moshe Rabbeinu, "Stop it, tell Him to stop. You go talk to Him; we'll do whatever He says."

12:15We'll do whatever He says. We'll do it and then we'll hear it. By default, we agree. Why? Because every time they heard a commandment, they all died. From the Kedushah of Hashem's voice, their neshama couldn't handle it. All of their neshamot left their bodies. They all died after the first commandment. Hashem performed the resurrection of the dead. Millions of people died. Millions of people lived. But they felt the pain of death. It's not fun to die, I promise you. now, they heard the second commandment. After the shock, they saw God's voice. What does it mean to see God's voice? Every time Hashem spoke, there were letters in the heavens. People saw the words. For the first and last time, a group of people heard God. which means that if one of those millions of people didn't hear it, they would have said, "By the way, Moshe, you're saying that we heard God's voice. I didn't hear God's voice. You're saying that we saw God's voice. I didn't see anything. I mean, I was on my phone, so I wasn't really paying attention, but you know, I didn't see anything." You would have to have a passuk (verse) to say that if somebody didn't see the voice, if somebody didn't hear the voice, you would have to have a verse in it to say that, which means that everyone that was there heard and saw the voice.

13:31...would have somebody saying that, "By the way, Moshe, you're saying that we heard God's voice. I didn't hear God's voice. You're saying that we saw God's voice. I didn't see anything. I mean, I was on my phone, so I wasn't really paying attention, but you know, I didn't see anything." You would have to have a passuk to say that if somebody didn't see the voice, if somebody didn't hear the voice, you would have to have a verse in it to say that, which means that everyone that was there heard and saw the voice... But after the second commandment, since we couldn't handle dying a third time, we told Moshe Rabbeinu, "Please do us a favor. You go talk to Him. Just get us the news. We'll do whatever He wants. We can't handle it anymore. We died, we woke up, we died again, we woke up. We can't do it." Moshe Rabbeinu says, "No, no, don't be afraid. He's just scaring you so you don't sin." Meaning, He's not playing games. That's what tachlis, that's what He's trying to tell you. He's telling these commandments, this is it. This Torah, this is it. I mean it. You may think I'm not serious, but I'm showing you I'm serious. Now, if you don't remember, if you don't have such a good memory, you forgot what happened 3,000 years ago, Baruch Hashem, this week's parasha is here to remind you. Now,

14:45The peculiar part is that in this amazing event of Matan Torah, where we received the book, the love letter from HaKadosh Baruch Hu, from the King of Kings, from our Father in Heaven, He gave us a love letter, an instruction set of how to live a successful life, and how to fail also by disregarding it. He gave us a letter called the Torah. And now, He gave us the Ten Commandments. He gave us a part of the written Torah that was written up to this week's parasha. He didn't give us the entire five books of Moses because they hadn't been written yet. Can't tell people the future. And He gave us the majority of the Oral Torah. Why do I say majority? Because the Gemara in Masechet Chagigah and a few other places mentions that Hashem wanted Am Yisrael, the sages of Am Yisrael, everybody in Am Yisrael to be partners in the Torah. So, He left certain things for us to find out by toiling over the Torah. And this is the explanation for a big question that a certain Chacham from Australia asked us recently. And it's a very good question. He says, wait a minute, if Moshe Rabbeinu received the entire Torah, the Written Torah, and the Oral Torah, how come he had to go back to Hashem on four cases?

16:08because you didn't know what to do if you got the entire Torah, how come you didn't know what to do when they caught the blasphemer who cursed Hashem? You know, they asked Hashem what to do. How come? answer is because Hashem wanted Am Yisrael to be partners in the Torah by toiling over the foundation that He gave them and discovering the truth within it through toil. The reason why is because when you are a partner in something, automatically you care more. If you are my employee getting a thousand dollars a month or a thousand dollars a day, it doesn't really make a difference. you're gonna treat the job as a job. No matter what your salary is. I had guys that were making $50,000, $100,000 a month, and I had guys that were making $100,000 a year, all types of employees. Regardless, they treat it as a job. Why? It was a salary, it was a commission, it's a job. Which means that I'm gonna work the hours I need to work,

17:33and my life really begins after work. I work so I can go on vacation, I work so I can buy stuff, and so on, because it's a job, after all. But what they do at certain companies, law firms, investment houses, and other types of companies, is that when someone is a stellar performer, someone who becomes a very valuable part of the company, they turn that person into a partner. Now, even if that guy just became a partner of only 1% of the company, he's not a partner of the whole thing. You can't just become a partner of the whole thing just because you're a good salesman. We're going to say, listen, you've worked for us for 5, 10, 15 years. You did good. You made the company a lot of money. Now we want to make you a partner. ...so from now on, you're gonna get one percent of the profits of the company. At the end of the year, we calculate what kind of profits the company has, and you're gonna get one percent of the profits. Now, even though in reality it may not even change his salary that much, it may not change his bottom line that much, but automatically that person, when you ask him what do you do, he doesn't say, "I work at such and such." He says, "I'm a partner at such and such."

18:46The job now becomes his life. Why? It's my company. What, your company? You own 1%. No, no, it's my company. He treats it as his. It's my company. This is the reason why companies do it to this day—to keep people. You're a partner in a company. How could you leave us? No, no, I'm never leaving. No, I'm never leaving. We're family. Family. We hate each other, but we're family. Why? I own 1% of the company. I own 2% of the company. It's a marriage that simply cannot break. Why? Because you're a partner. And no one else is going to give you a partner right away. HaKadosh Baruch Hu wanted us to become partners in the Torah by allowing certain aspects of the Oral Torah to be gotten by us toiling over it. By us working and discovering the truth by looking, reviewing, over and over the foundation that He gave us and arriving at the law through that toil. This was not the first time Hashem made us a partner. He also made us a partner in creation itself when He created us with an orlah. Men generally are born with the orlah on their male member, and we have a mitzvah that on the eighth day after you're born, you have to have a brit milah. over and over the foundation that He gave us and arriving at the law through that toil. This was not the first time Hashem made us a partner. He also made us a partner in creation itself when He created us with an orlah. Men generally are born with the orlah on their male member, and we have a mitzvah that on the eighth day after you're born, you have to have a brit milah.

20:12So the heretics ask, wait a minute, if God wanted you to have a brit milah and to not have an orlah, this foreskin, why did He create you with a foreskin then? Ah, see, there's no God. No, no, you fool. No, you idiot. No. God did it on purpose. God did it on purpose. God says that if you want to convert as a male, you have to have a circumcision. If you want to be a kosher Jew, you have to have a kosher circumcision. Not the circumcisions they have at hospitals that only cut part. Not the circumcisions that the Arabs have that only cut part. A full Jewish circumcision that requires an expert mohel. Why? Because HaKadosh Baruch Hu wanted you to become a partner in creation, in protecting the foundation of your neshamah, which is protecting your brit. If you now are a partner in making this brit, because it wasn't created perfect, it was created in essence imperfect. You made it perfect by, in essence, allowing someone to take a knife, a really, really sharp one, and take a piece of the body of your little babies off.

21:30i mean, you have to be crazy or religious. You have to be crazy or religious. If you're crazy, they're going to put you in a cell, put a nice jacket on you, all white, nice and clean, tie your arms up, put you in a cell, don't talk to nobody. But if you're religious, they're going to tell you what? Chazak u'Baruch, Rabbi. Chazak u'Baruch. Mazal Tov. Why? I just caught the kid. What, that's Mazal Tov? Yes, Mazal Tov. You just became a partner with HaKadosh Baruch Hu. Because now that you know that you've invested your own flesh and blood in this brit, if you understand what it means, You now are going to look at it in a way, wait a minute. If HaKadosh Baruch Hu created the whole world perfect—the heaven, the earth, the moon, the sky, the stars, the ecosystem, the flowers, the bugs, the animals—everything is perfect. Truly perfect. But this one thing is imperfect. Obviously, He's asking for my attention.

22:41If you look at the Kabbalah drawings of the neshama, you see that the part of the brit is called yesod. Yesod means foundation. The other parts are called different names, but the part of the brit is the yesod. Why the yesod? It looks like a, what is it? Pentagram? Thank you. It looks like a pentagram, like an upside-down house. Why? Because even if you're really good at protecting and developing the other parts of your neshama, in this part, in that part, in this part or that part, it's not enough. Why? If you don't protect your brit, everything else fails. It's the yesod, it's the foundation. This is why, when demolition men—people that destroy buildings for a living in order to rebuild—don't bother spending too much time putting TNT and other explosives on the 100th floor, on the top floor. Where do they put the most explosive stuff? In the foundation of the building.

23:56the foundation of the building. Why the foundation? Once you blow up the foundation, the rest will follow. As a side note, that's also connected to September 11th, but that's for a different shiur. But now You have a situation where HaKadosh Baruch Hu says to you, you have to protect the foundation. If you do not protect the foundation, everything else fails. Everything else is no good. Your connection to HaKadosh Baruch Hu will be incomplete. Your Shabbat will be incomplete. Your kashrut will be incomplete. Your learning Torah, incomplete. You won't understand what you're reading. You won't really want to do it. It will be almost like you're carrying the mitzvot, like it's a sack of potatoes. Again, again, we have to go to kollel. Again, we have to go to yeshiva. Again, we have to pray. Didn't we already pray? Wow, how much tefillah do we need? Have we prayed to Hashem enough? No, give me a break for a day or two. No! What happened? Why does a person have such thoughts? Because he's not protecting his brit. The sod, the secret, is damaged. Oh!

25:20I see this probably more than others because I deal with this issue with a lot of people. Baruch Hashem, we help many, many young boys, young men, and old men recover and fix their brit through our shiurim and guidance. you see this as clear as day. I mean, you're talking about new people reaching out to me every single day, more than with any other issue, asking, "How do I fix my brit? I've been destroying it for 20, 30, 40 years. What do I do now?" And it's the same exact advice you give someone that just did pegam habrit for the first time in their life. Same advice. First and foremost, stop it. Second of all, put a fence. Meaning, you have to learn about the topic. Understand the damage. We have nearly 70 shiurim about the topic. Watch all of them on a regular basis. Not just one time. On a regular basis. Have them on a rotation, on a regular basis. Then after that, make sure that you say, I'm sorry to HaKadosh Baruch Hu. Then you make sure that you share the information. Help other people.

26:30You don't have to ask him, are you pogem habrit? No, you don't have to ask anyone. Assume everyone is, because that's almost the truth. Share the shiurim everywhere. Take the CDs, give them to people. And last but not least, you have to do tikkun habrit. If you have money, you have to donate specifically for this cause. We have a campaign that we've been doing for the last couple of months to raise more and more money to print more and more CDs and USBs specifically about this topic in English. You donate to that campaign, you're going to help fix your own neshama. Not only because you're now using the money for tzedakah that you need to do anyway, but on top of it, you're actually doing kiruv with this money because this money is going to be used for CDs. But more than anything else, a person should never, never, ever trust themselves. Never trust yourself that you're okay, that you're good. But, what if you fail? You're going strong—two, three, four, five, six, nine months. Failure happens. It happens, it happens to the best of them.

27:50What do you think, you become Yosef HaTzadik just because of one shiur? It happens, you fail. You saw something, you got something, you fail. Then what? Get up. Start again. Don't get depressed. Don't start crying. Fix. Stop again. Learn again. Do the whole thing all over again. And the reason why, Rabotai Yekarim, is because if you don't, you're going to end up making matters much worse. going to end up making matters much worse because now you're going to get sad, you're going to get depressed, you're going to say, "Ah, I've been keeping it for three, four, five, nine months, and I messed up. Three years, I messed up." Ah, that's what the Satan wants you to do. He wants you to get depressed. So now you're like, "Ah, since I messed up once, might as well do it twice." Next thing you know, you're addicted again, and it becomes much harder to stop. But how do I know If one of the people that listens to me calls themselves a student, perhaps, or a friend, or whatever you want to call people that listen, how do I know if they're pogem habrit or not? Very easy. It's based on their behavior, based on their questions. How do you know if you're pogem habrit? You, yourself, know whether the pogem habrit affected you? The thoughts in your head.

29:18Why? Once you start doing Teshuva, you stop damaging your Brit. Little by little the Torah becomes clearer to you. Little by little you like it. Little by little you fall in love with it. Little by little you want to learn more of it. Little by little you start enjoying the mitzvot. Little by little you become addicted to it. It's amazing. You don't want to leave it. Everything is clear. It's like a blueprint to the world is in your mind. You have answers to everything. Damaging your brit. Little by little the Torah becomes clearer to you. Little by little you like it. Little by little you fall in love with it. Little by little you want to learn more of it. Little by little you start enjoying the mitzvot. Little by little you become addicted to it. It's amazing. You don't want to leave it. Everything is clear. It's like a blueprint to the world is in your mind. You have answers to everything. The second you are pogem habrit, the second you do it, the second that zera, that seed leaves your body and does not enter your wife but goes somewhere else, you now took that spiritual cord that connects you to HaKadosh Baruch Hu and you chopped it to nothing. So now, at that second, all of a sudden, all the doubts that you never had before appear in your mind. All of a sudden, you ask, "Rabbi, how do I know there's a God? What? You're a talmid yeshiva, what do you mean, how do you know there's a God? What have you been doing there for 15-20 years?"

30:30Rabbi, why do I have to keep two days of Yom Tov if I live in America? What do you mean you've lived in America your whole life? Now you have this question? If you ask me when you're 10 years old, I'll give you an answer. Five years old, I'll give you an answer. But you've been going to yeshiva for 20 years. Why do you have this question? Rabbi, is it really a halacha, is it really a halacha to not play with your phone on Shabbat? Is it really a halacha? Like, is it really a halacha to watch your eyes and not touch your brit? Like, is it a halacha? Can you give me a source? Is there a machloket? Maybe somebody has a different opinion. Maybe you're stringent. Where are these questions coming from? Mr. Heretic, what happened to you? Yesterday you were telling me that you're writing a song about HaKadosh Baruch Hu. You were the little David HaMelech of 2020. Now all of a sudden you're asking if David ever existed. Maybe it's Gilgamesh of the Flood. Where did these questions come from? Rabbi, maybe it's possible that Jesus didn't mean it. What? Where did you hear this from? I don't know. I just decided on Sunday to watch a sermon by Pastor Jones. Why are you, Mr. Jewish boy, listening to Pastor Jones?

31:56I don't know, I was bored. That's what you are. And your neshama just got hurt. What do you do? Stop it. Stop it and you'll see those thoughts disappear. Stop it, and you'll see those thoughts disappear. Everything I just told you are real questions I got from people. Multiply that by a thousand thousand. And there's even more. Countless young men, countless old men, even rabbis, even people that have been learning Torah their whole life, have this issue. There's no one that's above it. the yetzer hara of immorality and sex crimes. Everyone can fall, even the biggest rabbi in the world can fall, and we have several proofs in the Torah. In two different occasions, almost fell, almost fell.

33:11You never see the sages show any pride in the Gemara. Never. Except for one thing. Not a single sage ever says, "I'm the biggest tzaddik in the world." Never. Not a single sage ever says, "I know more Torah than everyone." Never. But you will see countless times the sages in the Gemara, these holy people who were able to revive the dead, show pride only in one thing. I protect my Brit. Why? Because they know that no matter how much Torah you know or you don't know, you are still vulnerable to this sin. And unless you pay careful attention to it, you'll fall. Now, unfortunately, today there are many people that do not teach this subject because they think it's taboo. But let's see what the Gedolim say of recent generations. In the Kuntres HaTakanot, on pages 31 and 32, it gives the Psak Halacha of Gedolei Yisrael from the recent generation: Rav Moshe Feinstein, Rav Teitelbaum of Satmar, Rav Yaakov Kamenetzky,

34:39And they say, when do you teach about brit? Between the ages of four and five years old, you teach your child and warn him not to touch or even look at his brit. Because this is a huge sin that's horrible and horrifying. And this is an obligation on the teacher at his school, as long as it's a male teacher. It's an obligation on his father, and it's an obligation on his older brothers. you have to tell a kid that's four or five years old, "Don't look, don't touch," like my son says, "Don't touch." At age eight, you start teaching him the halachot of modesty.

35:59Eight years old, a boy needs to know what modesty is. Not at 18 and not at 80. It's too late by then. You have to teach him the halachot of modesty and how to be modest inside the bathroom when he's relieving himself. And you have to speak with the boy and answer his questions about all of his doubts and all of the issues that have to do with this topic. And everything that's related to the Brit. Meaning, if you yourself as a parent do not know this, it's better you don't have any kids. Or learn, whichever one is easier for you. Either learn what it says about the Brit, or don't have kids. Why? Because your kid is going to ruin his life because of you. And don't say, "Oh, the rabbi's going to teach him." The rabbi's not going to teach him. I promise you. Why? They haven't been teaching it for generations. Why? You have entire generations of English-speaking people that have never even heard what Shmirat HaBrit is until they watched the shiur by me five years ago. At age 12, Rav Moshe Feinstein, the Satmar Rebbe, and Rav Kamenetsky again, say, at age 12, you have to teach him about how to protect his eyes and his thoughts.

37:25and to explain to him the details of all of the things that have to do with it, and how it relates to protecting the Brit. This, Rabotai, is Halacha by the biggest sages we've had in the last hundred years. So if your local rabbi says, "No, no, we don't teach this here," There's something wrong. There's something wrong. Now, in this week's parasha, we see something extraordinary. We see that the parasha, the climactic point of the entire Torah, like we said, Matan Torah, the holiness of Torah, that discusses the issue of Brit from the beginning till the end, is not called Parashat Matan Torah.

38:26not called the parasha where we received the Torah, but rather it's called Parashat Yitro. It's named after a person—a person who wasn't even born Jewish, a person who was actually an idol worshiper of so many different idols You couldn't even count them. Every week he would look for a different idol. Why would you call the climactic point of the Torah anything other than Parashat Matan Torah? Or at the very least, if you want to call it after a person, call it Parashat Moshe Rabbeinu. Why are you calling it Parashat Yitro? nechachamim tell us, it's because of the first few words of this parasha that tell you what kind of person Yitro was, and what kind of person Hashem wants us to be. Vayishma Yitro, Kohen Midyan, choten Moshe, et kol asher asah haElohim leMoshe u'leYisrael amo, ki hotzi Hashem et Yisrael miMitzrayim.

39:38Vayikach Yitro choten Moshe et Tzipora eshet Moshe achar shilucheha, v'et shnei baneha asher shem ha'echad Gershom ki amar "ger hayiti be'eretz nochria," v'shem ha'echad Eliezer ki "Elohei avi be'ezri v'yatzileni mi'cherev Paro." Vayavo Yitro choten Moshe u'banav v'ishto el Moshe el ha'midbar asher hu choneh sham har HaElohim. Yitro, the minister of Midian, was a very powerful, important person. He wasn't some homeless guy. He wasn't down and out. He wasn't depressed. He wasn't on all types of drugs. He didn't have ADHD. Nothing was wrong with his life. He decides to leave his city, give up all of his money, give up all of his kavod and his position that he has, quit his job as the kohen (priest), put his life on the line. His life is in danger. Go to Har Sinai.

40:48Yitro, the minister of Midian, the father-in-law of Moshe, heard everything that G-d did to Moshe and Yisrael, His people, that Hashem had taken Yisrael out of Egypt. Yitro, the father-in-law of Moshe, took Tzipora, the wife of Moshe, after she had been sent away, and her two sons, to whom the name of one was Gershom, for he had said, I was a sojourner in a strange land, and the name of the other was Eliezer. For the God of my father came to my aid, and He saved me from the sword of Pharaoh. Yitro left everything, took his daughter and his grandkids, and came to Mount Sinai. Why? It says because he heard everything. What do you mean he heard everything? He didn't see. He didn't see the ocean split into twelve. Why? He didn't see the water turn into blood. He didn't see frogs. He didn't see hail. He didn't see darkness. No, he didn't see anything. He did not see a single miracle in Egypt. He heard about it. And that was enough. Yitro, the Pope of his day, heard what the God of Israel did. He says, I'm leaving everything. I'm doing teshuva. Chatanu, avinu, pashanu.

42:12He comes on all fours to Moshe Rabbeinu, "Please, I'm your father-in-law. Please, let me in." He's not coming, "Hey, listen, I'm your father." No, no, no. "Please, Moshe, let me in. I'm your father-in-law. At least take the kids, you know, it's your kids." Begging him, "Please accept me." Why? "I heard. I heard about the God of Israel. That's enough." That's what HaKadosh Baruch Hu wants from us. You hear the truth, do it. That's teshuva. How often do you need to hear the truth? Every day. Every day you hear the truth, you do it. And that is what Yitro merited to do, and therefore merited to have a parasha named after him. But not just any parasha, but Parashat Matan Torah. Because when you receive the Torah, If you want to be considered somebody special in the eyes of HaKadosh Baruch Hu, you can't just kiss the Torah and say, "I love you." And then go drive on Shabbat. And then go watch basketball games. And then go waste your life doing everything but learning Torah. If you are going to accept the Torah, that means you have to be like Yitro. You heard it, you do it.

43:36Yeah, I didn't know until now. Okay, now you know. Yeah, okay, so now you do it. Now you do it. Yeah, but it's hard. Boy, it wasn't hard for Yitro. Leaving a billion dollars behind, losing everything, his life on the line. There's a bounty with his name on it. That wasn't hard. Definitely, he didn't have it as hard as Yitro. Definitely, I can guarantee it. Why? If you had it as hard as Yitro, Yitro would have a parashah after you. So now, if a person wants to do this, then we are on the same page. And the reason why is because the Ramban, over 800 years ago in his Iggeret HaRamban, after he tells us to overcome our negative traits of anger, stinginess, arrogance, and selfishness,

44:37All types of negative traits. He says you have to learn Torah every day. You learn it in the morning. You learn it at night. You don't have to learn it 24 hours a day. You can still work. You can still have a family. You can still go to the bathroom. You can still eat. You can still function as a human being. But the Torah has to be a pillar that's as stable as can possibly be. A steel pillar that's literally the foundation of your house. where you know that every day you must look at it, you must review it, you must have it, and you must treat it as if it's air. If somebody came to you and said, "Can I have the air out of your lungs? I'll give you 10 bucks." No, 10 bucks is not enough. "Why, you want to breathe? Okay, I'll give you 100." 1,000, 10,000, a million. No price. Why? It's the air in my lungs. I need it. I need to live. That's how we're supposed to treat the Torah. Now, when a person sees that the Chachamim say that if you're going to treat the Torah, you're going to learn it, then the Ramban says you have to review it and then compare it to your life.

46:02see what you have to fix. Why? Because surely the Torah says one thing, and something that you're doing is not exactly matching. The Torah says this, and you're not doing it. Fix it. We talked about last week reviewing one's actions. But then this week, the Ramban continues and he says, and in this way, you live all of your days in repentance. What does it mean, live all of your days in teshuva? The Gemara, Masechet Shabbat, page 153a. has one of the foundational teachings that the Ramban based this part of the sentence on. The Ramban says you're supposed to do teshuva every day. All the time. All your life. Where do you get it from? One of the places was in the Gemara, where Rabbi Eliezer ben Hyrcanus, the rabbi of Rabbi Akiva, says to his students, "Shuv yom echad lifnei mitatecha."

47:22Repent one day before you die. Do teshuva a day before you die. So students said to him, "Rabbi, does one actually know when he's going to die? Who knows when they're going to die?" So Rabbi Eliezer says exactly. And that's even more of a reason why you need to do teshuva every day. Because no one guarantees you tomorrow. So do teshuva today. What if I live today? Okay, do teshuva tomorrow also. What about next week? Every single day, your whole life. Why? You never know when you're going to die. And if you die without teshuva, I can't help you. I can't help you if you die without teshuva. I'm sorry. You die as a Mechalel Shabbat, I'm very sorry. There's nothing I can do for you. You can read Kaddish from here until next week. Very difficult. So how come people still do it? For example, when someone dies, you're supposed to read Kaddish for them.

48:34Now, if you're going to read Kaddish, you have to be a kosher person. You have to keep Shabbat and Torah. You can't read Kaddish for people if you don't keep Shabbat yourself and the rest of the halachot because your Kaddish is hurting them, not helping them. But if you're a kosher person, you say Kaddish for somebody you love, your chas v'shalom parents, loved ones, and so on. But not just the first year, even beyond that. You read Kaddish. Yeah, but what if he died as a Mechalel Shabbat? You just said it's not going to help. There are even Poskim from 900 years ago saying, you're going to pray for them until you're blue in the face. It's not going to help them. So how come people still do it? And I'm not talking about people that are ignorant. I'm talking about rabbis. Rabbis say, listen, you or somebody died in your family, if you want, I have people that are Avreichim, that are Talmidei Chachamim, and they'll read Kaddish for your father. They'll read Kaddish for your mom. They'll read Kaddish for somebody that you love that passed away. They'll read Kaddish for them every single day. If you want, they'll even learn Torah for them. And you just give them some money every month. We have this service that we provide for a few people that want it. And why? If the guy is a Mechalel Shabbat, why are you reading?

49:46said, "It's not going to help anyway. We're just stealing people's money, taking advantage of their emotions. Why do you do it? Just in case, just in case, just in case before he died, he thought about teshuva. Before he died, you know, the last moment when it's like you have no idea what's going on, but you know you're dying." Just in case those last few days, those last few hours, those last few weeks were pretty much stuff that wasn't working. And you thought about your whole life, and all of a sudden all the money you made didn't make any difference to you. All of a sudden all the friends you have you don't really care about. All of a sudden all the fun you had didn't mean anything. You actually have a real account of what life is all about, and you say, you know what, I should have thought about God. I should have thought about Hashem. Why? I'm about to meet Him. I don't know anything about Him. That little hirhur, that thought of teshuva, that can help that soul actually leave Gehenom. Now right away, maybe not even ever, but nonetheless you have hirhur teshuva, you're savable. You're savable. That's how Rabbi Meir Baal HaNes, his rabbi, one of his rabbis, was Elisha Acher, Elisha ben Avuyah.

51:09Elisha ben Avuyah, I've told you about him before, he went off the derech in the worst, horrible way. He committed every crime in the Torah. After he died, they saw that there is sadness. Why sadness? Because this person knew an enormous amount of Torah, but he died, and he's dead. Someone who is not righteous, I know right now he's in Kaf HaKela. The last chapter talks about anyone who commits certain crimes; they go to a place that's not even Gehinnom, they go to Kaf HaKela. ...a place where certain angels simply torture the soul and sling it from one end of the galaxy to the other. Not a fun place. People that cause the public to sin...

52:18By misteaching them. Telling them that there's no Gehenom. Telling them that Jesus is the right thing. Telling them all types of stuff like this. It's against the Torah. Kaf HaKela already has a place for them. Waiting. And those angels can't wait to meet you. And that's the person that's teshuvah. So now, Elisha ben Avuyah was there. Rabbi Meir Baal HaNes, with Ruach HaKodesh, knew he was there. He says, when I die, I'm going to take him out of Kaf HaKela. When I go up to the Beit Din of Shamayim, I'm gonna have certain merits, I'm gonna argue for him in Shamayim, I'm gonna take him out of Kaf HaKela. And that's happened. How do we know it happened? Because after Rabbi Meir Baal HaNes died, people went and saw the grave of Elisha ben Avuyah, Elisha Acher, and they saw there was smoke coming out of the grave. Smoke coming out of the grave. Years passed, generations passed, the Gemara says. And one day, Rabbi Yochanan passes by the grave. He sees smoke and asks the people, "Why is there smoke coming out of this grave? Years passed, generations passed. Why is there smoke coming out of this grave?" "Oh, Rabbi, you don't know?"

53:41What? That's the grave of Elisha ben Avuya, also known as Acher. He says, what? Elisha ben Avuya? Elisha ben Avuya was a great rabbi at one point. Yeah, he went off the derech. Yeah, but he's... So, Rabbi, do you know why there's smoke? Oh, he's in Gehenom. That's why there's smoke. But, because he knew a lot of Torah, Rabbi Yochanan said, I'm going to take him out of Gehenom. After he died, the smoke stopped. How come all of this was possible if he violated Shabbat, committed murder, and all types of other crimes? The sages said that at the end, Rabbi Meir convinced him to do teshuva, hirhur teshuva, thoughts of teshuva, "I made a mistake." That could save a person. That's the reason why you read Kaddish even if the person didn't keep Shabbat. But the point is, rabotai yekarim, every single person needs to know that this is almost too late. Almost. Why play with that fire? It's not even fire, it's lava. So Rabbi Eliezer ben-Horkenos says, you have to do teshuva every single day. Ramban says, your whole life should be teshuva. Your whole life should be about teshuva.

55:06Where do they both get it from? Another source is in the Prophets. The Prophet Hoshea. The Prophet Hoshea talks about many interesting things. But in the last chapter, where he talks and gives prophecy of the end of days of Mashiach, in chapter 14, The last paragraph is, in essence, a paragraph that discusses Teshuva, with a famous verse in chapter 14, verse 2, that we hear in prayer and songs. "Shuva Yisrael Ad Hashem Elohecha Ki Kashalta Be'avonecha." Return, O Israel, unto Hashem your God, for you have stumbled in your sin, in your iniquity. Shuva means return. Return to Hashem. Return to Hashem. Why return to Hashem? Why is it to return to Hashem? He says, return to Hashem. You see that all the sins you make, being with a woman who is not your wife,

56:31being with your wife when you're not supposed to, eating something that's not kosher, being a disgusting person, cheating, lying, killing, violating Shabbat, all those things, all those sins, they didn't help you. They've stumbled you, they've ruined your life. You thought you were going to have a good time just this one time, next thing you know, you have an STD. That one good time ruined your life. No, there's one time, just one party. You go to a party, you drink a little too much, you get into a car accident, you can't walk. Just one time, Rabbi, just one time hanging out with the guys, one time hanging out with the guys, one time hanging out with the girl, she's pregnant, but she's only 16. One time. That's all it takes. One time. It doesn't take a whole life of sins to ruin your life. Let's not misunderstand this. All it takes is one time. One time, overdose, die. You could take drugs for 50 years and live. Or you could take drugs one time and die. Same exact drug. How do you know which one you're gonna have? You don't know. Therefore, you don't do either because it's going to ruin your life.

57:59Drugs are like candy in comparison to sins. Because a drug may or may not ruin your life right away. It may or may not ruin your life today, tomorrow, or next week. It may or may not. But Gama Brit, Chilul Shabbat, Issur Karet, for sure is going to ruin your life. For sure. Guaranteed. One time you need to do it on purpose, not by accident. Why? The second you make such a sin, you are now in a book. The book has an IOU. What's an IOU? "I owe you a punishment," Hashem says. What kind of punishment? Death, bad stuff. He doesn't want to kill you; that's why He doesn't do it right away. But you're in that book. Why would you want to be in that book? You want to be in the other one. The IOU, "I owe you rewards," "I owe you shefa," good things. That's where you want to be. You want to be in that book, not in the death book. That's why you have to stay away from sins. How do you stay away from sins? You have to learn Torah. Yeah, but what if I still learn Torah and I still sin? Ah, Hashem knows that. Hashem knows that you learn Torah, you do mitzvot, you do this, and you're still going to sin sometimes.

59:26Therefore, you created teshuva. You sinned. You failed. Say, I'm sorry. Cut it out. Stop it. Don't repeat it. Do something to protect yourself so it doesn't happen again. Do some good things. Start all over. What about the sin that I made? If your teshuva is real, you're going to be okay. If your teshuva is not real... You're going to repeat the sin a week later, a month later, a day later, five minutes later. So now, Hoshea says to Am Yisrael, return to God. Return to God because your sins are not working out. Rabbi, I like my life. Look at my house. Look at my wife. Look at my kids. I got money. I got this. I got that. I got everything. So, I'm okay, Rabbi. I don't need to do teshuva.

1:00:26don't need to do teshuva. Okay, so you have stuff, but let's look under a microscope at your real life. How's your relationship with your wife? Oh, yeah, she just filed for divorce. How's your relationship with your kids? Oh, one of them just overdosed, the other one's in the hospital, the other one is married to a dog, the other one's married to a cat — or maybe a person, we're not really sure because they look like both. How's your business? Oh, the IRS has showed up at my business. The FBI is considering it. Meaning, yeah, you may have the image, you have the stuff, but in reality, your life is terrible. How do we know your life is terrible? You don't have Hashem in your life. If you do not have Hashem in your life, it is impossible to be happy, successful, or anything of any value. Impossible. Why? You have no connection to the purpose of creation. So Hashem says to us, says to Am Yisrael, return. Return unto Hashem. Shuvah Yisrael Ad Hashem. Now the question is, Chazal asks, how come it says Shuvah Yisrael Ad Hashem, return unto Hashem, meaning go all the way to Hashem. Why doesn't Hashem

1:01:48Shuvah Yisrael, le-Hashem, to Hashem, return to Hashem. Like I've said it so far, but in reality, it's not return to Hashem; it says return unto Hashem, meaning all the way to Hashem. Why all the way to Hashem? Hakam, to Hashem, that's it. So the Sages explain, if you really want to do teshuvah, it must be every day. It must be every day. You have to work on yourself to perfect your character, to perfect all of the flaws every single day. Until you get all the way to Hashem. Ad Hashem. Ad Hashem. When does that eventually happen? Oh, you have a long way to go. Yeah, but how long? A year, two years, five years, ten years? Oh, you have a long way to go. How many? Fifty, sixty, seventy? Oh, you have a long way to go. How long? Until the end of your life. Yeah, but I've been doing it for fifty years, Rabbi. Okay, you're halfway there. I don't bite. There are three chairs right there. It's fine.

1:02:58The spit doesn't reach that far. Ad Hashem. Return Ad Hashem. All the way, all the way to Hashem. All the way to Hashem. Every day. Now you're going to say, "Wait a minute, but Rabbi, no." The Prophet lived at a different time. Maybe it was easy for him to do teshuva. The Rambam was a holy person. Maybe it was easy for him to do teshuva. Moshe Rabbeinu, you know, he heard God's voice. He spoke to Him. Maybe it was easy for him. For me, it's not easy. I live in 2020 according to the Christians. I got iPods, iPhones, I this, I that. No wonder why they say don't... that don't follow your heart and don't follow your eyes. Eyes like the dot, eye. iPhone, iPod, iPhone, eye, eye, eye. I didn't make this up; I actually saw it on a website. It's pretty good. Pretend like it's mine. I don't remember the name of the website, but if I do, I'll tell you. Not that I'm trying to steal ideas. You have to, eye, eye, eye. I got all this stuff; Moshe Rabbeinu didn't have eye.

1:04:16In a desert. What? Anyone walking around with a miniskirt in a desert? Kill him on the spot. Talk to me, Rabbi. Liar. You're a liar. You know what I know? The Torah says. The Torah says you're a liar. You know what I know? The Torah says you're a liar. Moshe Rabbeinu says. Moshe Rabbeinu says, It's in your mouth, it's in your heart to do it. Meaning, you were created to learn and fulfill the Torah. That's it. That's what you were created for. If you buy a phone, and the phone doesn't act as a phone, it doesn't dial, It doesn't text. It doesn't go on the internet. It doesn't do anything. It's no longer a phone. It might as well be a door stopper. It might as well be something you throw like a weapon, maybe. You could send it to the Palestinians—maybe they'll give you some money for it. They got a lot from Obama. You know, you could do something else with it. But it's no longer classified as a phone. Why? Because it doesn't function as a phone. The whole purpose of the phone is to make calls. That's the purpose of the phone.

1:05:44If you have a car, but the car doesn't drive, it's not a car; it's a piece of metal. You could live in it maybe, you could sit inside, have a conversation, have your lunch, but it's not a car anymore. Why? It doesn't drive. Because the purpose of the car is to drive. If you have a Jewish neshamah, if you have a human being, and that human being does not serve Hashem, it is no longer classified as a human being. It's now an animal. Moshe Rabbeinu says, you were created with a main functionality, which is to learn and fulfill the Torah. That's your functionality. That is your purpose. Now, when you take a car out of a factory, is it hard for the car to drive? No. Why? It's a car. That's what it’s supposed to do. When you take the phone out of the factory, is it hard for the phone to dial? No. It's a phone. It was made to do that. When you take a cow out of the farm, is it hard for the cow to give milk? Absolutely not. It actually has a good time when it does it. Why? That's the purpose of the cow.

1:07:08Did you ever see a bird say, "Wow, I'm so tired of flying. I need a vacation"? No. Why? That's the purpose of the bird. It flies. So how come you see a bunch of people say, "Ah, you know what? Learning Torah is hard for me. I can't do it. I can't do it. It's too hard. It's too hard." Moshe Rabbeinu says you're a liar. It's not hard. You don't want to do it. It's not hard. It's not hard at all. You don't want to do it. And when you don't want to do something, you make it hard for yourself. It's only hard to keep Shabbat when you don't want to keep Shabbat. It's only hard to keep kashrut when you don't want to keep kashrut because you want to go to McDonald's and eat bacon. It's only hard to watch your eyes when you don't feel like you want to watch your eyes. You want to look at anything and everything.

1:08:10It's only hard to follow the entire Torah when, inside, you don't feel like doing it. You want to be an animal. Why? Because you were created to follow the Torah. That's your functionality. To say it's hard is a lie. It's like you press your phone. Okay, I want to call Ima. And you press the number. You probably don't even know the number by heart because it's all stored on the phone. You press the little green button, and the phone gives you a message: "Now, I'm tired today. Call back later. I don't feel like doing it today. I'm on vacation. It's Labor Day. Labor Day for phones." go turn on your car's little navigating system. It says, "No, no buddy, get out, get out, get out, get out. I don't feel like it. I don't want to look at your face. Get out of the car. You overworked me. You drove me 50 miles yesterday. What do you think I am, a car? No, get out." Never gonna see that.

1:09:17But yet, the most brilliant people that live on the face of the earth say to Hashem every day, "It's too hard for me to do what You created me to do." Why? We fell. We fell into a prison we made for ourselves, and we are now tying ourselves in chains and saying we're prisoners. We're prisoners of our own yetzer hara. And that yetzer hara is that we don't want to do it. We want to do other stuff. We want to go play basketball. We want to play video games. We want to go out with a bunch of girls. We want to eat treif. We want to look at magazines, newspapers. Watch the news. Maybe I'll learn about more people that died in China. So if anybody doesn't know, they'll ask me, how many people died in China? Oh, 1.5 million. Thank God. You're the Gadol HaDor in Chinese death. We have to stop lying to ourselves. And the Ramban says to us, you have to stop lying to yourself. You have to start doing teshuvah every single day. And that's why Hoshea

1:10:38Hosea was not politically correct. He was not even trying to convince anyone to do teshuva. Because the last verse of the book of Hosea, as he says, מִי חָכָם וְיָבֵן אֵלֶּה, נָבוֹן וְיֵדָעֵם, כִּי יְשָׁרִים דַּרְכֵי ה', וְצַדִּיקִים יֵלְכוּ בָם, וּפוֹשְׁעִים יִכָּשְׁלוּ בָם. He says, who is wise and will understand these things? Meaning this message of doing teshuva. Whoever is smart is going to get the point. Doing sins, going against Hashem, is not going to work out so well for you. Don't say, "Oh no, ever since I became religious, my life became tough." You're a liar. Your life was tough anyway, and your life would be tough anyway. In fact, it would be tougher if you didn't do teshuva. much, much tougher. Why? Because you'd still be on a death list. I owe you, death list. It's not a good list to be on. So, Shlomo HaMelech says, whoever is smart gets the point that the sins don't work out. The secular life doesn't really work out for anyone. You're never going to see a single secular person happy with their life.

1:11:55Never. They'll have moments of excitement, but never happiness. Never. It is impossible to be happy without HaKadosh Baruch Hu in your life. Impossible. The stuff you see on TV, exactly, is on TV. Fake news. It's like Facebook. You see the good pictures. family, everybody's wearing a suit, everybody's happy. The husband and the wife are hugging each other. Oh, it looks like I'm so happy, so happy. You don't know that five minutes before that picture they had a fight and the wife told him, "I want a divorce." You don't know that five minutes after the picture, one of the kids takes the camera and smashes it against the wall, and the father hits him until he loses one of his eyes. You don't know that one of those kids is cracked out. You don't know the other kid is going out with a non-Jew. You don't know all that stuff. You see a picture. see a moment. That's the secular life—a moment, moments of excitement, moments of, you know, an illusion of happiness. Real happiness doesn't go away like a headache. Real happiness is something you wake up with. Real happiness is something you simply have. You don't have to try. Oh, why'd you try to be happy? What do you mean, try to be happy?

1:13:07It's like saying, "Try to breathe." No, if I have to try to breathe, that means I'm dying. If you need to assist me to breathe, that means I'm dying. Don't go away; I need you. If I need to try to be happy, that's a very serious problem. Happiness is supposed to be a status that you're in at all times. You wake up happy; you are happy, despite the problems that you may have. It doesn't change or distort your happiness. You may be aggravated; you may even be angry, but you're still happy. You go to sleep happy; you live happy; you are happy. No one has to tell you, "How come you're never happy?" Why? Because they know you're happy. But if you have a tough time being happy, that's a problem. Secular life? Impossible to be happy. I tried it for over 30 years. It doesn't work. With money, without money, all types of stuff. It doesn't work, I promise you. But you don't have to take my word. Hoshea says otherwise. If you're smart enough to get the point by now, and you understand these things, whoever is understanding will know them.

1:14:28We'll understand that the ways of Hashem are straight. If He promised you a reward, He will pay you. Hashem is straight. Hashem is not a sweet talker. Hashem doesn't talk from both sides of His mouth. He says something, it's emet. So Hashem says, "For Hashem's ways are straight," and therefore the righteous will walk in them. The righteous people that are wise will do what He says. But the sinners will stumble over them. But you don't want to listen? You don't want to listen to Torah? You don't want to follow what the Torah says? Then all of those sins will be the reason why you fall. Your addiction to money will be the reason why you collapse. Your addiction to promiscuity will be the reason why you collapse. Your addiction to food will be the reason why you collapse. You like eating stuff that's not kosher, safek kosher, maybe kosher? One day Hashem is going to give you a nice gift, it's called diabetes. Enjoy that next meal. That's what happens. You're addicted to immorality, you want a new girlfriend every other day? Okay, so you wake up one day with a disease no one knows a cure for. It's called AIDS. And plenty of other sexually transmitted diseases.

1:15:54How many times do you have to be promiscuous in order to get it? One time. One time with the person that's the right but the wrong person. Meaning, a person has to understand, Hashem is not your friend. And the Navi says it: Listen, you see that your sins are not getting you anywhere. This secular life, which you pretend is bringing you happiness, is not getting you anywhere good. Therefore, be smart, be a wise person, and become righteous. But if you don't want to, no problem. You'll see Hashem punish you with your own poison. And that's why the Ramban says that a person must live a life of teshuva. A life of teshuva is every single day. It's something that I have to try. Try every day. Why? Because when you do teshuva, you are simply looking at life in a different way.

1:17:07You're looking at life as one big marathon. You're looking at life as something that you're constantly going to try to improve. There is no stop sign and there is no destination point. You never go on vacation. There is no vacation from teshuva. Now, Rabbi Yisrael Salanter, says that some people think that there's an auspicious time to do teshuva, and there's the 10 days of teshuva between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, special days to do teshuva between judgment day and the appeal day. He says, but the righteous people, people that are more righteous, really, they already started to do teshuva on Rosh Chodesh Elul, 40 days before this. already started doing teshuva. Why? If you're smart, you're not going to arrive at judgment day without teshuva. You're not going to arrive at the trial without being prepared for the trial. It's not going to work out so well, and then hope that, okay, I'm going to fail the trial, but I'll work it out on the appeal. If you're a smart person, you're already going to start before.

1:18:24But Rabbi Yisrael Salanter says, I advise to start teshuva the moment after Neila. The moment Yom Kippur is over, already start doing teshuva. What do you mean? But it's over already. Exactly. It's over. Start all over again with teshuva the whole year until next year. Every day teshuva. Rabbi Yisrael Salanter was a master of teshuva. And if you look at it, there's a book, a small book in size but not in wisdom, called Cheshbon HaNefesh. Rabbi Yisrael Salanter, once he read this book, He says, this is a book that needs to be in every home, in every pocket, in every desk, in everything. This is a book you have to have. Why? You follow the strategies of doing cheshbon ha'nefesh, like it says in that book, you're going to become a tzaddik. You're going to become a tzaddeket. It's not easy at all though. But cheshbon ha'nefesh means self-accounting. And he himself, Rabbi Yisrael Salanter did self-accounting on a daily basis.

1:19:39Analyzing every single time that he would pray, he would make different strategies for himself on how to improve his prayer. Any time he found himself weak during his tefillah, he would write it down in a book. On this day, at that time, during this prayer, at that moment, it wasn't so good. And he would start doing teshuvah for that moment of weakness, which for us is probably strength. His talmidim saw him do teshuvah and cry for 15 years over what we wouldn't even consider anything at all. On Pesach, you're not allowed to have chametz. So you have to make sure there's no chametz before Pesach. Now generally speaking, you look at all the obvious places. Where do you look for chametz? You look if you have a place where you put your bread, where you put your cookies, put all that food. You look, you see, there's no chametz there. Sometimes if you have kids especially, you look for chametz in the room and so on. But generally speaking, it's pretty obvious where the chametz is going to be.

1:21:06Rabbi Yisrael Salanter, one year, he forgot to check for chametz. Not in the whole house, chas v'shalom. He's not chiloni here. No, no. He checked for chametz all over the house. The whole place. Everything, crystal clear, everything's good. But then he realized that he forgot to check inside the salt. Inside the salt, he had a little compartment where he had salt in it, just salt, no cookies. Just maybe, in case there could be some crumbs, he didn't check. Not that there was something in there, but he forgot to check inside the salt. And he did teshuva for this for 15 years. For something that, for the rest of us, I don't even think we would look at this as anything. Not sin, not mitzvah. But Rabbi Yisrael Salanter was so careful to take care of his own neshama that he says it's all based on your level. The more you know, the more is expected from you. Now, when a person lives a life of teshuva, this type of behavior

1:22:28does not seem weird at all. It's only weird to somebody that doesn't do teshuva. But someone that does teshuva, this seems like, okay, maybe I'm not going to necessarily cry for 15 years over anything. But I understand why he did. I understand why, because it's so hard to elevate your neshama and feel a joy. A joy when you pray. A joy when you do a mitzvah. A joy when you keep Shabbat. A joy when the holidays are coming. A joy when the holidays are here. A joy just to do a bracha shehakol. You feel a joy. A physical joy. I'm not talking about a mental joy. Oh yeah, I'm a tzaddik. No, no. I mean a physical joy. like you get a physical pleasure not from drinking the water, not from drinking the coffee. The physical pleasure comes from the bracha. To get to that point is a lot of work. Once you get there, you're going to do everything possible not to lose it because losing it will feel worse than death.

1:23:46Once you've achieved a certain level of spirituality and connection to HaKadosh Baruch Hu, you get a certain pleasure from certain things that you do, whether it's Shabbat or Sukkot or Tefillin or learning or whatever it is, that pleasure is like nothing else. All you care about is when can I get it again? When can I get this feeling again? And every time you do that and you don't get it, you feel bad about yourself. "Wow, I wish I got it again. I wish I did it again. How come it didn't happen? All right, I'll try harder next time." And you judge yourself. Not three hours, guys. Just get the chips and sit down. It's not a buffet. Now a person needs to feel bad about yourself. "Wow, I wish I got it again. I wish I did it again. How come it didn't happen? All right, I'll try harder next time." And you judge yourself. Not three hours, guys. Just get the chips and sit down. It's not a buffet. Now a person needs to evaluate himself and see, "Where do I get my joy? Where do I get my joy?" And once he gets it, he doesn't want to lose it. Rabbi Yisrael Salanter understood this clearly and therefore he did everything in his power to protect his neshama. About 250 years ago, there was a serious Rav

1:25:17named Rav Chaim Tyrer of Chernovitz. He wrote several sefarim, one of them is called Sefer Mayim Chaim, and another one is Siduro Shel Shabbat. He would delve into the details of Shabbat, the holiness of Shabbat, and he would talk about it constantly. His focus was constantly on how to enjoy the Shabbat, all the beauties of Shabbat, the Kedusha of Shabbat, the amazing power of Shabbat. He was a talmid of the Maggid MiMezritch, who was a talmid of the Baal Shem Tov, An enormous talmid chacham, an enormous tzadik. But in addition to all of his learning and fulfilling the Torah, he was very, very focused on helping others.

1:26:30So he would go to a marketplace that was there for about a month a year, where these businessmen would be at a certain place during that month, and that's pretty much where they made most of their money for the whole year. And he would go there to collect tzedakah. Why? Because all these people made a lot of money; they worked the whole month, they made a bunch of money, give ma'aser! And he would collect this tzedakah to help poor people, to help free people from jail, to help orphans, all types of people that were suffering, for the yeshivot, and so on. Now, there was one group that he would avoid. And it was a group of rich people that, aside from after they finished their work, would spend all day just laughing and making fun, focusing on potato chips and Bazooka gum, and forgetting the whole purpose of life. Oh, they were playing cards and poker, smoking, and all types of things, laughing at everything. They were just jokesters. Anytime somebody came there to tell them about a mitzvah, tefillin, tzedakah, anything else, they'd make fun of him. They'd have a good time at his expense. Now, the worst of them was a guy named Hirsch.

1:27:52And this Hirsch, this was the class clown. This was the guy that everybody waited for. Everybody waited to see what he was going to say. So Rav Teider avoided this group. Anytime he would go to the marketplace, he'd go everywhere else except to these people. But then one year, there was a very difficult case. This goy, powerful goy, decided to increase taxes in his city, and this Jewish family did not have the taxes, so he put them all in jail, and he gave them a timeline. If you don't get the money to me within this specific date, I'm simply going to kill every single member of the family, one after the other. When a goy tells you he's going to kill you, you take it seriously. Why? Most likely he means it. This whole family, wife, husband, little kids, everybody's in a cell, and the clock is ticking on their lives. You have to get this money. There's nothing else you can do. You have to get the money, you gotta give them the money, free the Jews, and that's it, finished. There's nothing else you can do about this. Don't try to negotiate, don't try to sweet talk, nothing. Get the money. Why? There are lives on the line.

1:29:15So Rav Tila comes to the market and this year he says, I gotta go to everybody. Why? I gotta get 150,000 gold coins, a fortune. As you would have it, that year people all of a sudden were having a hard time giving. He says, what could I do? He goes to a place he's never been before. Where? The jokesters. He goes to the jokesters over there; they're having a good time, laughing, playing cards, all types of things. And he walks in, and the first thing he sees is Hirsch. He thinks to himself, if Hirsch wasn't there, at least maybe I would have a chance with the rest of these people. But this guy is here with a kaparat avonot, this is like a pegara, this guy. This guy is like a tikkun. This guy's a problem walking. What can you do? He says, okay, one way or the other, it's going to be okay. Either something good is going to happen out of it, or I'll get a tikkun and I'll erase some of my sins. Either way, he goes in there, and Hirsch was in the middle of telling a joke. But he sees the Rebbe, and he stops. Now everyone is excited. We're going to have a good time. Entertainment showed up. Entertainment showed up, and Hirsch even stopped the joke. He must have a better one.

1:30:39Hirsch says to Rav Tirer, "Hello Rabbi, how can I help the Rabbi HaKadosh?" So Rav Tirer sees himself in a predicament he didn't want to be in, but what can you do? Rav Tirer says, "I'm here to collect tzedakah, to free a family from prison, because if we don't get it, they're going to get killed—the husband, the wife, and the kids." So Hirsch asks him, "How much are you looking for?" He says, "I'm looking for 150,000 gold coins." Hirsch looks at him and says, "You got it. Wait here for one second." Now everybody's waiting to see. Oh, he's probably got a present for this Rabbi. He's probably going to bring a cat, a scorpion, or a snake—something to bring him. It's oh, he's probably prepared this joke. they can't wait, they're all quiet, you know. They're like you guys right now, quiet, just to see what's gonna happen. So shortly later, Hirsch comes back with a box. He goes, "Rebbe, here you go. This is all the profit that I made this season. It's a hundred and fifty thousand gold coins. Here you go, Rabbi."

1:31:59Raftir wasn't a fool, and everybody else is waiting. He's gonna open the box and there's gonna be some, I don't know, scorpion come out of it or something, some anaconda, who knows, something's gonna come out of it, a bomb. So Raftir also didn't trust him. He goes, "Hirsch, listen, if you're gonna mock me, you're gonna make fun of everything, you could just do it. You don't have to give me, you don't have to make fun of me. You could just take the box, fine, okay, you make fun, I'll leave. Why do you have to hold this whole show and torture me, make it seem as if you're gonna help me, for what?" He says, "No, Rebbe, I'm serious. You can take it. There's 150,000 gold coins in there." So the Rebbe says, "Okay." He opens the box. Everybody's waiting for the box to explode. He opens the box and he sees it's full of gold—150,000 gold coins. But he can't trust this guy. This guy's a known rasha. This guy's a criminal with a certificate.

1:33:02Rabbis avoid him; people avoid him because of how much he tortures people. All of a sudden, he became a tzaddik. Not only did he donate the whole amount, so he says, "Hirsch, are you serious?" He goes, "Yeah, Rebbe. This is all yours. Just give it, go free the family." He said, "You sure?" He goes, "I'm a hundred percent sure it's all yours." The Rebbe was so... Impressed by this man's moment of teshuva, this moment of him doing a self-accounting and realizing, you know what, maybe it is worth doing something good. He blessed him and he said, "May it be His will that you will enjoy the feeling of Shabbat like I do." And this Haresh guy, he never kept Shabbat, he doesn't even know anything. He's like, yeah, amen, amen, Rabbi. Amen. This was Sunday. Rav Tirah leaves, got all the money. Haresh goes back to his games, but shortly later they finish, he goes to sleep, and he wakes up the next morning with a feeling of kedusha he doesn't know what to do with.

1:34:26All he can think about is Shabbat. But it's Monday. What am I going to do? Oh, we got to get prepared for Shabbat. He starts thinking, I got to start buying stuff. He goes to the butcher. He starts, okay, this meat, that meat, this, this. Everybody, what's wrong with this guy? Why is he buying? Oh, he's having a party today? There's no Shabbat. Shabbat. Her Shabbat. How do you know how to spell Shabbat? No, every surprise, he's buying bread, this, that, all types of things the whole week, and every day as it gets closer and closer to Shabbat, he's having these uncontrollable feelings. All he thinks about is Shabbat the whole week. He doesn't care about money, about business, about anything. All he thinks about is Shabbat, Shabbat, Shabbat, Shabbat. Shabbat arrives, and he gets this feeling like he literally becomes a malach shareit. He feels like he's floating. You know, tzaddikim, they feel Shabbat. Regular people, we try to keep it, but they feel Shabbat. They feel that extra neshama enter their body.

1:35:27Hirsch felt the neshama enter his body, and he literally felt like he was flying on cloud nine. Everyone thought, "Look at this guy celebrating, starting to sing all types of songs we've never heard him sing about Shabbat." All of a sudden, he's giving divrei Torah about Shabbat. It's like this guy's trying to go to Hollywood or something; he's trying to win some type of prize. Where did this come from? On Motzei Shabbat, it's like the balloon popped for him. He feels terrible. He feels Shabbat just left him. He doesn't know. What do I do without Shabbat? Oh, Shabbat's going to be next week also. And he starts Motzei Shabbat. He already starts preparing for next Shabbat. And the whole week is the same thing. Three weeks straight, Hirsch does not think about anything other than Shabbat. But after three weeks, everybody starts thinking he's going crazy, including himself. He finds Rav Tiler, he says, "Rebbe, you have to help me. You gotta take this blessing back. I can't think about anything else other than Shabbat. All day Shabbat, Shabbat, whether it's Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, night, day, doesn't matter, all day Shabbat. Rebbe, you gotta take this back."

1:36:43Rav Tiler says to him, "It's a blessing. I can't take it back. But I can teach you how to use it. I can teach you how to enjoy it." And Hirsch became his chassid, did complete teshuva, and became a tzaddik. Why? The moment Hashem gave him an opening. Despite what you've done your whole life and all the jokes you've made and all the horrible things you've done, okay, what do you care about so much? Money, okay, let's see. I'm gonna give you an opportunity to do teshuva with money because that's all you cared about your whole life. So, let's see you give me the money you care so much about. I'll give you the world. This is why it's very difficult for rich people to do teshuva. Because the teshuva that they need to do most has to do with something they're addicted to. When you tell a rich person, listen, keep Shabbat, if it's convenient for him, he'll keep Shabbat. If it's not convenient, he won't. If he's got business, half a Shabbat. After the meeting, Shabbat.

1:38:05If you tell a person, listen, we're trying to open a yeshiva here in South Florida. You happen to have a bunch of money we need. Hashem gave you $100 million. Give us 10, and we'll fix the next generation. They'll look at you like you have 16 heads. Like you're an anaconda with three heads. What? You want me to give you $10 million? Why? Because you have it. That's the only reason. If you didn't have it, I wouldn't ask you. I'm not going to ask you for something you don't have. You have 100. 10. That's it. You keep 90. K'vod. Enjoy the 90. He doesn't know what to do with you. Why? Why should I give you 10 million? Are you crazy? I don't even know you. You don't need to know me. There's no yeshiva that is fit for what the next generation needs. We are volunteering to build it. You happen to have the money. It's in your pocket. Just give it to us so we can do it. That's it. I'm not going to wine and dine you, take you to a special dinner, sing some opera for you, or put your name on the building. Nothing. You just need the money. That's it. This is the whole relationship. No chance. Never going to happen. Minimum, I need my name on the building. Why? I need to tell the people I know that I own this building. It's my yeshiva.

1:39:33It's my yeshiva. I opened this yeshiva. And the reality is, the yeshiva becomes just another investment. He'll buy the building until he wants to sell it. "Hey Rabbi, listen, you're doing good over there in that yeshiva? Good, good, good. How long? You've been there five, six years? Listen, Rabbi, I appreciate everything you've been doing for the community with the yeshiva, but... Remember I gave you the money to buy the building and everything? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, the market went up. And I can't afford not to sell it. So you guys are going to have to find a new location, Rabbi. Donations like that are not donations. They're loans. And a person that thinks that him giving that kind of a loan for the sake of a mitzvah is just teshuva, it's the opposite. It's not teshuva. It's good; it's better than nothing. But when HaKadosh Baruch Hu wants you to do teshuva, He wants you to sacrifice what you find most dear. It's part of the sacrifice; it's part of the mesirat nefesh of doing teshuva every day. When Hirsch did it, Hashem accepted it. If he didn't do it, most likely all of his gates of teshuva would have been closed.

1:41:00would have, chas v'shalom, lost a share of the world to come permanently. Now Rabbeinu Yonah of Gerondi, in his Shaarei Teshuva He starts off the book with an interesting Midrash in Kohelet Rabbah, chapter 7, verse 15. And he says, what is teshuva really? What is teshuva? And he gives a story. that the sages tell about teshuva. What is an analogy to explain what teshuva is? Because in reality, teshuva doesn't actually make rational sense, if you think about it. Why? Think about this, the law in the country you live in. Let's say you stole a hundred million dollars. Okay? And you got caught. Got caught.

1:42:04You're in front of the judge, and the judge is gonna tell you, "Did you steal the $100 million?" "Yes, Your Honor, I stole the $100 million." "Okay, give it back. Give it back." "Okay, Your Honor, I'll give it back." And the judge says to you, "Okay, now that you gave it back, I'm gonna give you 20 years in jail." What kind of present is this? That's the law. The law is, you steal money, whether you give it back or not is irrelevant, you go to jail. That's the law, and the civil law. Teshuva, on the other hand, is different. HaKadosh Baruch Hu says to you, Yaron, you stole a hundred million dollars? Okay, how about this? You're going to stop it? You're not going to do it again? I promise, Hashem, I'll never do it again. You promised, never to do it again. Okay, how about this? We'll make this deal. You stop it. You say, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Hashem. Okay, you say, I'm sorry. Good, alright. You're going to watch the shiur. I'll watch the shiur, Hashem. I'm sorry. And I'm going to watch the shiur. Okay, how about this, Yaron? From now on, this is what we're going to do. You keep that $100 million, and I'm going to give you another $100 million. Because you said, I'm sorry, and you're going to watch the shiur. That's teshuva.

1:43:26Not only does Hashem allow you to, whatever you did, you can't take it back. Not only does Hashem accept that, but He gives you a reward for doing teshuva. So the sages say, what is teshuva in reality? Hashem says, you got caught. There was a bunch of criminals that got caught. People that go against Hashem get caught. They were all put in jail. They're all going to get the death penalty. They're all waiting for that death penalty to happen. Everybody's pretty much counting the minutes. Suddenly, somebody breaks through the wall. Everybody follows. Everybody breaks out. In the morning, the guard comes to bring everybody to their death penalty, but he sees there's a hole in the wall and nine out of the ten people are gone. There's one guy left. And the one guy says, ah, see, I'm an honest guy. I didn't break out. The guard takes his bat and starts hitting him harder and harder and harder, breaking every bone in his body.

1:44:36The guard takes his baton and starts hitting him harder and harder and harder, breaking every bone in his body. And the guy says, I don't understand. Why are you hitting me? Shouldn't I get rewarded for not leaving? The guard says, you fool. You had a chance to save your life and break out of this. Why did you stay? Why didn't you get out? You had an opportunity. For your stupidity, you get punished double. That's what happens in Shamayim. HaKadosh Baruch Hu says to us, listen, you made a bunch of crimes, you wasted seed, you violated Shabbat, you violated nidah, you violated kosher, you violated the entire Torah. Fine. I give you one mitzvah to do and that's teshuvah. Stop it. Say I'm sorry. Fix stuff. That's it. I give you an opportunity. And if you didn't do it, you get punished double. Now,

1:45:38Rabbi Avraham Azulai, alav ha'shalom, says a very scary thing. He says a very scary thing where he says when a person is given opportunities to do teshuva, he has a rabbi show up in his town that's a good rabbi and is able to help him. He has somebody give him a CD that has information on it that can help him do teshuva. He has a video recommended to him time and time again on his internet feed. He has a friend that did teshuva. A wife that did teshuva. A kid that did teshuva. Meaning he knew that teshuva existed, he just chose not to do it. And he continued violating whatever he wanted to violate. Rabbi Avraham Azulai says, now when he gets to Shamayim, how is his punishment going to be?

1:46:38It says, when the punishment comes in, and his judgment is broken by the angels of the Chabala, they take him immediately to the right hole, and to the right judgment, and to the right punishment. And sometimes, when he has sinned many times, they put him to death, and they revive him, and they return him, and they put him to death, and they bring him back, so that the punishment will be a lesson for the people of the past. he says when the judgment on this person that did not do teshuva is finalized, they give him over to different types of horrific angels that are simply taking control over this neshama. And before they take him to a certain destination, they do a special tikkun on him. Every sin that he has, However many times he did it, they kill him that many times. He wasted seed a thousand times? They kill him and revive him a thousand times. Oh, that was only during his 15th year in life? Okay, 16th year, what did he do? 900 times? Okay, another 900 times. They kill him and bring him back. Kill him and bring him back. Meaning, he feels the pain of death as many times as he sinned.

1:48:02For each sin. And that's before Gehinnom. Why? You had an opportunity to break out. You had an opportunity to do teshuva. Your wife did teshuva. The husband did teshuva. The kid did teshuva. You had a CD. You had the rabbi in town. Hashem gave you 70, 80, 90 years in this world, 40 years in the world. Whatever He gave you in the world, for sure He gave you opportunities to do teshuva. No one lives in this world without an opportunity to do teshuva. It is impossible to even think. Everyone is given an opportunity to do teshuva. Everyone. You cannot use "I was born secular" as an excuse in Shamayim. Why? You may have been born secular, and many people were born secular. It doesn't mean you have to die secular. No, "I got a bad taste from religious people." You may have gotten a bad taste from religious people. Many people have gotten a bad taste from religious people. In fact, many more got a bad taste from secular people. What does that mean? Does that mean that you just do what they do?

1:49:12That's not an excuse. Oh, I got into a car accident once. Okay, so does that mean you don't drive anymore? Oh, I got food poisoning once. So does that mean you don't eat anymore? No, Rabotai, the reality is these excuses are not going to work. Don't worry, I knew they were going to leave early. Call Tochus. The reality is that these excuses are not going to work in Shamayim. Hashem is going to give you a certain amount of time in this world: 40, 50, 70, 100 years, whatever it is. During that time He allotted you, He's going to give you a number of opportunities to see the truth and do teshuva. To see that there's an opening to that jail cell and you can get out even though you're really a criminal that deserves the death penalty. You don't take advantage of it? Rabbi Avraham Azoulai says you have no idea. You have no idea how heavy the judgment is. You have no idea how painful the judgment is going to be. You have no idea what you're doing to yourself. Why? Why would you do that to yourself? Don't you at least love yourself somewhat? You don't even have to fall in love with yourself, just a little bit.

1:50:29Why? Look at anyone that doesn't. They have a miserable life anyway. What are you looking up to? What is there to look up to? Give me one person that's a happy person without G-d. One person. It doesn't exist. Trust me. I was in business with clients that were billionaires. One after another is more miserable than the other. Without HaKadosh Baruch Hu, you simply have a miserable, purposeless life. And when a person does not understand this, he's torturing himself. Now, unfortunately, at times, a person thinks that he's already done enough. He's done enough teshuva.

1:51:30he thinks to himself, "Oh, listen, Rabbi, I'm okay now. I keep Shabbat, I learn a little bit in the morning, I give tzedakah whenever I get a chance. I'm okay, Rabbi. Teshuva is not for me; I'm done. I'm going to go to a higher level." When he thinks that there is a higher level than teshuva, we already have a very serious reason why he needs to do teshuva, because he's wrong. Now, one such person, one such person wrote a letter to the Rambam. And he says to him, I know that the tradition is that on Yom Kippur, We pray and we say, "I'm sorry to Hashem." And then we do a special Tachanun, a special Vidui, where we admit that we've made all types of crimes. We murdered, we raped, we stole, we lied, and so on and so forth. And it's a very, very long confession. And Rabbi...

1:52:48I'm happy to tell you, I no longer have a reason to do this Vidui. I didn't commit any of these crimes. So I want the Rabbi to give me permission to just skip it. Because I didn't commit any one of these crimes this year. Baruch Hashem, he says, I got to a very high level this year. So, the Chida... In Midbach Demot, chapter 6, verse 11, or section 11, adds the Rambam's response to this fool who thought he was pious. And he says the following: He says, "My dear man, your words betray that you simply have little concept of what it means to serve the Almighty." Our duties towards God are unlimited. They're complex and no man in the world can finally fulfill them. If your self-appraisal, complimenting yourself, would be objective, you would discover that every day of your life, you, in some way or another, violate every sin listed in that vidui confession of Yom Kippur. Every day of your life.

1:53:55you would discover that every day of your life, you, in some way or another, violate every sin listed in that viduy confession of Yom Kippur. Every day of your life. Furthermore, bear in mind that the greater the man is, the more grievous his minor missteps are. As we learned from David HaMelech, who was involved with Bat Sheva, who was no longer a married woman since Uriah HaChiti divorced her. But nevertheless, because David HaMelech was an exceptionally righteous man, the indiscretion that he committed, which for a lesser person is negligible, it's not even a sin, for him was considered tantamount to actually committing adultery. Meaning, most likely you're not really that righteous, and you're very far away from where you think you are. But if, even if you are very righteous, you're still making a mistake, because now your judgment is actually more precise. Now things that may even be allowed for other people are forbidden to you. which for a lesser person is negligible, it's not even a sin, for him was considered tantamount to actually committing adultery. Meaning, most likely you're not really that righteous, and you're very far away from where you think you are. But even if you are very righteous, you're still making a mistake, because now your judgment is actually more precise. Now things that may even be allowed for other people are forbidden to you.

1:55:10When a person does a self-accounting on a daily basis, he starts seeing that the way to serve Hashem is not just simply putting a kippah on, putting a kisui rosh on, wearing modest clothes, saying a few brachot, a few blessings, praying a little bit, reading a book, and you're finished. It's not quite enough. Serving Hashem is 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, with no break. No vacation. Everything a person does has to involve Hashem in it. You want to go to work? No problem, go work, but make sure Hashem is on your mind while you work. If you're going to do a transaction with a customer, make sure that the transaction is kosher. If you don't have Hashem in mind while you're working, Guess what? You're not going to make it to Gan Eden. Because the Gemara Masechet Shabbat says, the first question that they ask a person at the Beit Din of Heaven is: Did you conduct your business with emunah? Meaning, did you conduct your business with Hashem in mind, with honesty, with integrity? If you lend people money with high interest, you've already failed the first question. It doesn't matter how you answer the rest.

1:56:28If you are a liar in your business, you stole from the government, you stole from customers, you did all types of illegal things, you're finished. Question number one. Meaning if you don't have Hashem on your mind while you're working, you're not going to make it. Yeah, but he looks really religious. Looks can be deceiving. What can I tell you? In Shamayim, they don't care how you look. You're a soul. care about what kind of spots that soul has from sins. That's what they care about. Now, if a person lives a life of teshuva, like the Rambam says, he'll evaluate his business every day. He'll evaluate it so much that he'll evaluate every transaction before he does it. He'll evaluate his relationship with his employees. He'll evaluate his relationship with his boss. He'll evaluate his relationship with his vendors. He'll evaluate his relationship with everything—everything he does, and that's just at eight o'clock in the morning. He just started the day, barely even had coffee. When he gets home, he'll evaluate how he got there. Did he speed and put other people's lives at risk?

1:57:54Did he drive like a maniac and almost commit murder? Did he do all types of things that created a desecration of Hashem's name by yelling and screaming at people because they did something that he didn't like? Once he got home, he'll understand what kind of father he is. She'll understand what kind of mother she is. How do the kids react when you're home? Are they excited to see you? Oh, like, "Oh, hey Dad. Hey. Oh, you're home? Oh, okay. When's work yet? Oh, it's tomorrow? Okay." They can't wait for you to leave. That means you did something wrong. No, they're just tough kids. Yeah, they're tough kids because you did something wrong. You hurt them. You did something to them. Your wife is not happy to see you. You did something wrong. No, she did it. Okay, she did it because you did it. No, she did it first. Okay, so there you go. You admit you did it. If your relationship doesn't have Hashem involved in it, it's ruined. Meaning you have to do teshuva for that relationship.

1:59:12Now, I heard a story the other day. It was literally worth it to come to the world just to hear this story. Rav Gigi, Rav Baruch Gigi, he's an Ethiopian Talmid Chacham in Eretz Yisrael. I love hearing some of his stuff. It's really, truly amazing. Anyone who speaks Hebrew should hear his stuff. And I heard the story from him. And He says that there was a certain Hasid who, at age 52, had his first child. First boy, first time in his life, 52 years old. Not that he didn't try. Trying with his wife for 30 years, no kids. 52 years old, first boy. Now he said, okay, B'ezrat Hashem, have a Seudat Hoda'ah, thank HaKadosh Baruch Hu. Give me a kid, right? He's expecting we'll have 300 people. He sets up the place, 1,200 Hasidim show up to his house. The whole community almost shows up at his house because everybody's so excited because this story didn't just start at 52 years old.

2:00:39Everybody shows up, the food is finished in two minutes. He says, "Rabotai, listen, I'm sorry we're out of food, but I have something better for you. I'm going to give you a personal story that's going to be much more valuable than physical food. Something that can change your life." Everyone is excited to be there. These little precious boys in the world. The father and the mother are older. I mean, something unbelievable. Some of them have been part of the story the whole way and they don't even know it. And he says to them, "As you all know, my wife and I have been married for over 30 years. Throughout the last 30 years, we've tried everything, but Hashem never opened up the gate. Year after year, disappointment after disappointment, more tears, more crying, more blessings from different rabbis, more prayers—nothing worked. The worst of it all was the most recent treatment; we went to America for almost seven years, and..." Throughout the last 30 years, we've tried everything, but Hashem never opened up the gate. Year after year, disappointment after disappointment, more tears, more crying, more blessings from different rabbis, more prayers—nothing worked. The worst of it all was the most recent treatment; we went to America for almost seven years, and...

2:02:02Went to America for almost seven years to get a special treatment from a world-renowned doctor. Horrible treatment, a nightmare. This is not like an Advil pill for anyone who doesn't know. Seven years, after seven years, nothing worked. All the money spent, all the effort, everything, seven years in Egypt, nothing. After seven years of trying, the doctor himself, world-renowned doctor, says to me and my wife, "I'm sorry Rabbi, you just gotta give up. Enough's enough. You're not gonna have a kid." My wife and I got on a plane, 12 hours on a plane to Eretz Yisrael, we didn't say a word to each other. We get home, Baruch Hashem, some of the people in the kehillah cleaned the house, expecting us, haven't seen us in years, which we're very grateful for, but under the conditions we were in, this was not something that,

2:03:24...was going to make up for the pain we dealt with. We entered the house, I went to one corner of the house, my wife went to the other corner of the house, and we both just started crying hysterically. She's crying and I hear her crying, and I'm crying. I'm crying, she hears me crying, and she's crying. And we both just won't stop. For hours we're crying hysterically. Hours and hours of tears. I mean, hearing anyone cry is never joyful. To hear a grown man or a grown woman cry is mamash gehenom on this world. It's almost three o'clock in the morning. I'm asking HaKadosh Baruch Hu, "Please, Hashem, what did I do? Please tell me. I've tried everything. Please, Hashem, help me. Why? Why? Just tell me what I can do." And at that moment, after all of those tears and me crying to HaKadosh Baruch Hu, asking Him to help me do teshuva, "Like, whatever it is You want me to do, I'll do it. Just tell me what to do."

2:04:30At that moment, a thought entered my mind. And suddenly, I remembered my days when I was a young bachur in yeshiva. We used to study seriously, and we were really serious learners. This cleaning lady, this new cleaning lady that came to clean the yeshiva, would bring four of her kids with her. And these kids were the most annoying thing in the world. They didn't stop messing stuff up, and they made a lot of noise. It really bothered us, and it was tough to learn. I mean, this is a Beit Midrash. We're here to learn Torah. We're not here to... It's not a kindergarten. So the guys were a little bothered by it. So they said to me, "Listen, you're the best talker here. Why don't you go tell her something? You know how to talk to people. Go tell her something. Maybe it's not exactly the right place to bring her kids. They're bothering us. We can't learn. We're not playing cards here. We're serving Hashem." So I said, "Okay, no problem." So I came to her and I said, "Excuse me..."

2:05:40I'm sorry, but maybe it's not such a good idea to bring your kids to the kollel because we're really trying to study here. We're trying to learn Torah. So your kids, it's not good for them to be here. So the cleaning lady looks at me and she says, "Yeah, you know, I have a very, very big difficulty raising my kids." May you never have difficulty raising kids. And I said, okay, thanks. And I thought she just gave me a blessing. She's having difficulty raising kids. She says, may it be as well that you never have difficulty raising kids. But he says, over 30 years later, I thought about it, and I, wait a minute. Her tone didn't sound like a blessing, now that I think about it. It didn't really sound like she was blessing me, actually, now that I think about it. I was really focused on going back to learning, now that they stopped messing around. But now that I think about her facial expression, I don't think she was, wait a minute. She cursed? Wait, she's upset?

2:07:04At 3 o'clock in the morning, he starts calling people to find the Rebbe. The Rebbe's phone number. He gets the Rebbe's phone number. The Rosh Yeshiva's phone number. He hasn't seen him in decades. "I'm sorry to call you at 3 o'clock in the morning. Please, the cleaning lady from 30 years ago. Where does she live?" He says, "Listen, she's been retired for years. But the last time we sent her a retirement check..." Like her pension money, it was to this address, but I have no idea if she still lives there. It's been years. He writes down the address at 4 o'clock in the morning. He tells his wife, "Honey, we're going." They go to this poor woman's house. They knock on the door at 4 o'clock in the morning. Now, if someone knocks on your door at 4 o'clock in the morning, you usually call the cops. It could be nothing good, but this old woman opens the door. She's just scared. She thinks maybe something happened. She says, Right away, he and his wife said, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry to bother you. Everything's okay. But I please, please need to talk to you." The old woman, many years have passed. She sees it's a respectable person with his wife, not coming by himself. He comes with his wife. Both religious people. She lets them in. Four o'clock in the morning. They sit down.

2:08:29And he says to her, "Do you know who I am?" She says, "No." He says, "How is your son Moishele?" Oh, you know, Moishele, how's he doing? Oh, Baruch Hashem, he's good. He just had his fourth kid. Baruch Hashem. Oh, Avraham, Avraham, where's Avraham? Oh, Baruch Hashem, Avraham, he's good. He's learning, he's writing a new sefer. Oh, Baruch Hashem, Baruch Hashem. How's Yankee? How's Yankee? Oh, he goes by Yaakov now. And Yaakov, Baruch Hashem, he's good. He's married, with kids. How do you know all my kids? He says, you see, over 30 years ago, I was one of the boys in Yeshiva learning, and I came to you, and I told you that the kids are making a lot of noise. And I asked you if you could just not bring them anymore. And you told me that you're having difficulty raising kids. And you said, "May you never have difficulty raising kids." Do you remember that? She says, yes. She says, well...

2:09:37That's what happened. I never had children. I didn't mean it. I didn't want to curse you. I was just, you know, you told me something that hurt me a little bit because my husband at the time was a drunk. He left me and took all the money. I had no money to feed the kids. I had no place to feed the kids. And my kids were very difficult kids. And the only one that would allow me to work was your Rebbe, who would allow me to bring the kids while I worked. So it hurt me a little bit because, you know, it was difficult. But I never meant to curse you. I'm sorry. He goes, no, no, no, no, no. Don't say I'm sorry. Don't say I'm sorry. It's not your fault. It's not your fault. You didn't mean it. I want to say I'm sorry. I did something wrong. I only considered myself. I didn't think for a second that there's a reason why you're bringing your kids to work. There's a reason that the kids are that way. I just thought about my needs, and I'm so sorry for what I did to you. Do you forgive me? She goes, yes, of course, I forgive you. No, no, please say my name first.

2:10:42I forgive you, and then say my name. I forgive you, then say my name. I forgive you, and then say my name. Please, I beg you. She went on the floor crying. The old lady at 4 o'clock in the morning doesn't know what hit her, but she said, of course, I forgive you, no problem. The kids grew up, everything's okay. And this chassid goes home with his wife, And nine months later, on the dot, they're celebrating the birth of their first boy, their first child. Now, the average person would say, wait a minute, I don't understand. What did he do so wrong? What did he do so wrong? He just told her, don't bring her to the yeshiva. He just told her, you're making a mess. It's not supposed to be that way. That's the problem. You still think that way. That means teshuva hasn't begun yet. Teshuva, rabotai yekarim, does not only involve how you perceive yourself, but rather how you perceive other people. How you affect other people. You're not the only one in the world. When you get up, you have to think, who am I going to affect by getting up?

2:12:06When you sit down, you have to think, who am I going to affect by sitting down? When you give something, you have to think, who am I going to affect by giving? When you take, you have to think, who am I affecting by taking? When you chew a certain way, when you eat a certain way, when you speak a certain way, when you listen to something you’re not supposed to, or something you're supposed to, when you do anything, as a Jew, you’re supposed to think about not just you, not just your stomach. You have to think about everything. And as the Chassid says, listen to me, if you don't think about it and you hurt one Jewish neshama unintentionally, it's still fire. It's still fire. You're playing with fire. When you hurt people, you're playing with fire. No matter what, you're going to get burned. Yeah, but I didn't mean it that way. It's still fire. Yeah, but I didn't want it to be that way. It's still fire. If we would have done teshuva every day and gotten to a point where we're starting to think, how am I going to affect the world by my next click? If we don't think that way, our teshuva hasn't begun yet.

2:13:28The key is, Rabotai, to understand that when a person is doing teshuva, he's going to analyze everything. And not just the obvious. But everything. Everything. He's going to evaluate what clothes he's going to wear based on other people's perception. Other people's perception, how is it going to affect people? She's not going to wear the long dress because she likes the long dress. She's going to wear the long dress because she knows that the long dress is more modest. And the short dress is less modest. And wearing something less modest will affect other people in a negative way. A person that does teshuva every day has this in his mind all day. All day. That's what the Ramban is trying to tell us. That's what the Prophet Hoshea is trying to tell us. That's what HaKadosh Baruch Hu is telling us in Parashat Yitro. If you want to be like Yitro, you have to do what Yitro did. Yeah, he made a lot of mistakes. Idol after idol. But the moment he heard the truth,

2:14:54And he realized this is it. He heard it. He fulfilled it. That's what Teshuvah is. You heard it. Do it. Do it right away. Do it as soon as possible. Don't let anybody else tell you. No, no. You're being fanatic. You're being nothing. You know it's right. You do it. Forget about your upbringing. Your down bringing. Your misbringing. All that stuff is excuses. It's not going to work. No one is going to fight for you in the Beit Din of Shamayim. No one. Only your own actions are going to fight for you. A person realizes that, he starts fixing his actions. She starts fixing her actions. We all start fixing our actions. There's much more to say, but we've run out of time. But the reality is, Rabotai, I think it's more than enough for each one of us to take something out of what we've learned today and at least begin our teshuvah. Baruch Adonai le'olam. Amen ve'amen.