How To Rebuke Family & Friends Properly (5 Minutes)
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Transcript
0:48I'm not joking. Why? Because there's a mitzvah in the Torah that all of us are obligated to fulfill, which we'll also talk about in this Mishnah, called "Hocheiach Tochiach" which means you must rebuke your people, which includes your children. You must rebuke them. When someone is doing wrong, when someone is not polite, when someone is violating Shabbat, when someone is violating any type of mitzvah, and you have a connection to them, either you're their parent, you're their friend, you're their uncle, you're their neighbor, you have some type of connection to them. You must rebuke them. But it also says, you can't bring yourself to sin. Meaning, even the rebuke has to have a strategy. You can't just go up to every single guy that drives on Shabbat and say, "You can't do that." Why? Because then they're going to start thinking of you as a crazy person. They're not going to listen to you. Or some of these fools that throw rocks. And people that drive on Shabbat, not realizing that throwing a rock is also not allowed on Shabbat. The rock is muktzeh. So sometimes we have to use our brains and realize that there's a way to rebuke. So, for example, you have somebody in your Beit Knesset. You know, the guy drives to netz. Drives to netz. Not only drives, he drives to netz extra early in the morning every Shabbat. Makes sure he gets there on time.
2:07You fool, don't come to Minyan, don't come to anything. Stay home if you have to. Just don't drive on Shabbat. Nobody tells him, and he sits next to you in Shul. Tell him, listen, by the way, I'm not sure if you follow the Parasha. You remember the Parasha where Hashem gave us the Ten Commandments? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which commandment? Do you remember which commandment? Do you remember the commandments? He goes, yeah, more or less. I pray Netz, Shabbat, pray Netz. Which commandment says you have to go to Shul on Shabbat? He's going to tell you, "No, I don't remember there being a commandment in the Ten Commandments that says you have to go to shul on Shabbat." Oh, no? You sure? Yeah. Which commandment says you can't drive on Shabbat? The Fourth Commandment, when it says to keep Shabbat, is where we derive one of the 39 melachot, which is lighting a fire. When you light a fire... Each time you light a fire, it's violating Shabbat. The problem is... It's the fourth commandment, yes. So the problem is that when you light a fire, it's one sin. When you turn on a car, it's much more than one fire. According to one of my students, he's an engineer. Each time you press the gas pedal and go 60 miles per hour...
3:32According to the RPMs, he's an engineer, he did the calculation, it's no less than 6,000 fires. So just driving from your house, 15 minutes later, you got to the Knesset, you're all happy, you got your little tallit, with your little quarter kippah, and you're running to the Knesset at 5:30 in the morning, thinking you did a mitzvah, you just violated Shabbat somewhere between 800,000 to 900,000 times. Chazak u'Baruch and Gehinnom. What are you going to do? Each one is correct, of course. So now, you have a serious, serious problem. The important part is to know how to tell this guy this. You tell them, listen, going to Beit Knesset is very nice. It's a mitzvah. But it's not an obligation in the Ten Commandments. It's not even an obligation in the 613 mitzvot. It's good to pray with a minyan, it's good to pray in Beit Knesset, but chas v'shalom, it's not over Shabbat. You're obligated to keep Shabbat. You're not obligated to go to Beit Knesset. Which means, if you cannot live next to a Beit Knesset, either move,
4:44Because you don't live next to a Beit Knesset or don't go to a Beit Knesset, stay home. Keep Shabbat. It's much more important. You can't go to Gan Eden if you drive on Shabbat, even if it's to a Beit Knesset, even if it's to the Beit Hamikdash, even if it's to the Kotel, or even if it's to anywhere else. Gan Eden won't let you in. They'll say, "Oh, you drove here? Sorry, you can't get in. We only take people that walk." So people have to understand how to convey this to somebody. I tend to be more blunt. I say things as they are. Some people receive it the right way. Some people take it the wrong way. Some people argue with me. Some people fight with me. Yet, some people understand it correctly and do teshuva. You've just experienced another Torah class.
