"I TOLD YOU SO!!" (5 Minutes) Rabbi Yaron Reuven
Full Shiur: MUSSAR Pirkei Avot (79) Does So Called Karma Really Exist https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-nUi9GZT_-E If you'd like to invite R' Yaron Reuven to give a lecture at your synagogue, home or office please call 917.468.2324 or email Yaron@BeEzratHaShem.org . Yaron Reuven is based out of Boca Raton, Florida, but travels around the world to give lectures to different groups. Visit us at www.BeEzratHaShem.org Click here https://soundcloud.com/yaronreuven/sets/daily-chidush To Listen to our very popular "Daily Chidush" short audio series on soundcloud.com Join one of our interactive "Interesting Torah" Whatsapp groups to get daily messages of short Torah clips that can uplift your day by texting the number above. Please join our Facebook page Be'Ezrat HaShem page and join our group "Torah Lessons To Help Our Lives". This Group is solely about publicizing HaShem's holy Torah from my lectures as well as great Rabbi's such as Rabbi Efraim Kachlon, Rabbi Yosef Mizrachi, Rabbi Zamir Cohen, Rabbi Pinto, and anyone else that is teaching interesting and relevant Torah. We will also bring you some brand new lectures directly from a Kollel in Jerusalem you won't find anywhere else. Torah posts will be in Hebrew and English. There are plenty of places to find entertaining stories that sound great, but this group is about showing you Torah that can impact your life, hence the name Torah Lessons To Help Our Lives. If it's not impactul, then it won't fit in. I watch and read all that I personally post, so I promise to do my best to bring you only the best quality of Hashem's amazing Torah. The Torah is the only thing in the world that you can learn and have an outcome that makes you SMARTER, WISER, And a BETTER Human Being. If the Torah you're learning is no longer impacting your life in a positive way, than its time for a change. If you haven't learned Torah in a long time or ever, then its time to start friend. I guarantee you will enjoy the journey and life will never be the same, if you just give it a real chance. Kiruv and Kiddush Hashem is our #1 goal. So please feel free to contact me if you are interested in getting more FREE material. We would be have to send you Torach lecture DVDs, CD's and a Book for FREE to anyone that is serious about learning them. If you are far from Hashem and His Torah, our goal is to get help you get closer. Thank you for the opportunity and May Hashem bless you with a life full of Torah 00:00:00 Intoduction 00:00:11 The Problem with "I Told You So" 00:00:53 Arrogance and the Futility of "I Told You So" 00:01:15 "I Told You So" - Always Harmful 00:01:42 Ego and the Desire to Win 00:02:10 "I Told You So" and Losing Your Reward 00:02:40 Resisting the Urge to Say "I Told You So" 00:03:07 Guiding Towards Teshuva: Make It Their Idea 00:03:35 The Power of Subtlety: Giving CDs as an Example 00:04:04 Removing Yourself from the Equation 00:04:30 Why "I Told You So" Prevents Teshuva
Transcript
0:11where the Chafetz Chaim says you have to stand for the truth, but there's a way to do it. If you're gonna be one of these horrendous people that's very easy to hate because you're always the person that says, "Oh, I told you so," you're not only not doing a mitzvah, you're making a sin. You're distancing them away from Hashem and You know those people who always say, "Oh yeah, I told you so." What do you mean, "I told you so"? "Yeah, I told you, you shouldn't buy from this guy." You shouldn't say, "I told you, I told you." Even if you told him, why tell him now? How is it going to help him? Telling somebody "I told you so" is the most annoying thing you can possibly do. It's full of animosity. It's full of pride and arrogance. And it's only helpful for your arrogance. It's only helpful for your pride. Not only does it not help the person, it actually makes them feel like nothing.
1:15You are telling them something like "I told you so," no matter what it was. It doesn't matter whether you said, "I told you so, don't buy this car," or "I told you so, don't marry this girl." It doesn't make a difference. Saying "I told you so" to anyone for any reason, even if you did, even if you didn't just make it up, you just sound like a psychopath. So, what if you did tell them so and they went against you and you're right, and you're reminding them that you're right? You are not them. You're making them feel like this, you're making them feel like nothing. Trust me, they know you told them—you don't need to remind them. The only reason you're saying "I told you so" is because you want everyone to know that you know. You don't care that they're suffering; you don't even care about what you actually told them. You care about winning, you care about making it known that you're better, that you're great, and... Problem is, this is also a small form of mitkaved biklon chavero. This "I told you so" is also a form of getting honor as a result of your friend's failure, and you could easily lose your Olam HaBa for it. Do you know how many people get joy out of telling the whole world, "I told you so," every day, every moment, right now as we speak?
2:40There's probably someone that was watching the lecture who just stopped mid-sentence, telling somebody, "I told you, ah, nothing. I didn't say anything. I didn't say anything. I never even spoke." Speak! "I told you so" is like one of the pleasures of life. Well, I'm telling you, if you say "I told you so," you could lose it all over. Don't be a hero; don't say "I told you so." Nothing! You want to help somebody do teshuva? You want to really help somebody do teshuva? You want to really help somebody change their life? Give them the feeling that it's their idea. Not yours. You have nothing to do with it. It's their idea. That's why I always tell people to give CDs. Why? Because all you're doing is giving the guy CDs. Sometimes in their hand, sometimes in their mailbox. Sometimes you leave it on a desk. It doesn't make a difference. You gave the CD that has the answers. You gave a CD with 30, 40, 50 hours' worth of Torah on there. At first, they're thinking, "Yeah, you know, Bezalel gave me the CD. Amos gave me the CD." They think in the first five seconds, "Ah." Their pride, they have to fight their pride. But if they have merit in Shamayim, Hashem wants their teshuva. They're actually going to put the CD in one day.
4:04Five minutes into listening to the CD, they forgot about you. Five minutes into the CD, they're thinking, I can't believe I found this guy. I found this guy. I can't believe I found this. I have to tell Bezalel about it. They forgot you gave me the CD. I have to tell Amos about it. This guy is great. Wow, I have to do teshuvah. It's their idea now. Now you have a chance, now you have a chance to save this person. Why? It's their idea. But as long as you keep telling them, "I told you so, I told you so, I told you so, I'm telling you so," they're not going to do teshuvah—not because of the Torah, but because of you. Because they don't want to hear, "I told you so." Raise your hand if you like to be told, "I told you so." No one, no one wants to be told, "I told you so." Why? It's the worst feeling in the world. It's the worst feeling. Why? Because when you tell the person, you're essentially saying, "You're an idiot, and everyone else knew it."
