Is it Better in Judaism to be Strict or Not LONG VERSION

0:06I'm going to tell you something very interesting. We're going to answer the question: Is it better in Judaism to be more strict or not? Now, my dear talmidim initially said yes, the more stringent, the better. You heard Naftali say no, it's not good. Everyone is confused. Why? Because on one hand, it's good to be stringent.

1:32Why would you think you're better because you have 500 people in the colony and you're the only one that's put on tefillin? This distinction is going to stand out. In essence, even if they're not saying anything to you, you're going to see yourself and say, wait, I'm wearing tefillin. Nobody else is wearing tefillin, and you're going to feel good about yourself. If you feel good about yourself, thinking that you're better than anybody else at any point in your life, and that dust of pride enters your heart, it would have been better if you never added the tefillin. Why? Because that's how much Hashem hates pride. In this context, we see the importance of humility in our service to Hashem. So we see that stringency has a time and place. Now, the interesting part is that in both cases, there's a permission from the Torah to do, and there's a permission from the Torah not to do. Meaning, the avrech came to his rabbi and said, it says in the Torah to do it, but the rabbi said no. Why? Because he knows the student, and in essence, the rabbi is right for saying no. Time of about... yeah, there is a leniency to shake hands, but the Rabbi said no. Why? Because it's not so simple; it's not black and white. But in both cases, you see that there is -- it's not just a black-and-white law. There's also something called Da'at Torah, the opinion of the Torah, based on this specific situation. What happens when you do not seek the opinion of the Torah and you seek your own opinion?

2:55I mean, after all, Tzelem Elokim, HaKadosh Baruch Hu created you in His image, no? You're so special, your opinion should count for something, no? After all, you're smart, you finished a few Masechtot in the Gemara, some people even call you Rabbi. You know, Chacham, Chacham, no? Your opinion, no? The Gemara in Masechet Yevamot says that someone who does not seek the assistance of a rabbi, meaning someone who does not ask his rabbi questions and in essence becomes their own rabbi, is viewed negatively. The Gemara in Masechet Yevamot, page 109b, says that HaKadosh Baruch Hu hates this person. Why? Because, in essence, they are so proud that they think they know everything. And we have... One of the stories that you can listen to, if you understand what I'm about to say to you, you may have to grab onto your chairs. Some time ago, I told you of a story that's in the Gemara, Masechet Chagigah, page 4b. It says that there was a certain woman that the...

4:17Satan decided to take someone out of the world, but by mistake, he took the wrong neshama. One of the Tana'im, who was friendly with Satan, was liked by him. Satan came to him and said, "Do you want me to show you what I do?" He replied, "Yes." So the Tanna was shown by Satan how he mistakenly took neshamos. Satan tells one of his servants, "Go bring me the neshama of Miriam the caretaker. Go bring it to me." And the servant goes, brings the neshama, and says, "Here's Miriam." Satan tells him, "Hey, it's the wrong Miriam. I didn't ask you for this Miriam." William, okay. So, should I bring this one back? No, leave this one. Anyway, go bring the other one. Anyway, we have to bring it. It's time for her to die. So, it's a peculiar story, and then we go into the details of how and who and what happened here. But we're not gonna go into that because we've already discussed it in the past. Just remember, now, who is this Miriam, and why does she deserve to die?

5:43No, her name is mentioned. If it was just some woman, then it doesn't matter who she is. Then why would the Gemara mention her name? If your name is mentioned, there's a reason for it—meaning the significance here of who and what and how. Who is this Miriam? You're not going to find that in the Gemara Masechet Chagiga, page 4b. You're going to find it somewhere else. You have to go to the Gemara Masechet Gittin. last page, page 90: Muhammad says, "What are the appropriate ways for a woman to behave and for a husband to let a woman behave?" He says there are some husbands that the way they eat is the way they treat their wife, in essence. And some people, if they see a fly in their drink, they take the fly out and drink the water. He says that's normal. That's a normal husband. That's a person that allows his wife to deal with regular people. Not to banter around and start talking to every guy on the street and so on, but if it's family, if it's friends, if it's hello, it's goodbye, [then it is acceptable]. flying in their drink, they take the fly out and drink the water. He says that's normal. That's a normal husband. That's a person that allows his wife to deal with regular people. Not to banter around and start talking to every guy on the street and so on, but if it's family, if it's friends, if it's hello, it's goodbye, and so forth.

7:05General basic behavior is the bank teller is the money. Thank you very much, basic stuff, normal necessary conversation. This is what it represents because today, if any one of us sees a fly in our drink, we throw it out. But that's because we're all rich in comparison to the people of 2,000 years ago. Back then, Know that if you weren't wealthy, you wouldn't throw out the water right away. So, if someone just saw something flying in their water, they would take it out and drink it. This essentially represents a normal person, and a normal husband, who allows his wife to act naturally. For instance, if a UPS guy comes to the house, she's able to answer the door and say, "Thank you very much. Goodbye," and take the box. No problem. It's allowed to take the box—she's not hugging the guy. I'd say, "Yeah, how's your family? Where are your kids? Where do you guys vacation?" No, that's not allowed. But just basic conversation, like "Thank you very much, no problem," that's normal behavior. Then there's a guy that's a rasha. What's this guy that's a rasha? It's a rasha that allows his wife to

8:20Go out without modesty, sleeveless and without a kisui rosh, and he doesn't care. He doesn't care even if she goes into a bathhouse and there are still men there. He's like a guy that sees the fly and drinks the fly with the water. He doesn't care about anything. That's a rasha. There's a guy that sees the fly, throws out the fly and the water together. He throws out everything since that's extreme fanatic behavior. Like who? Like a person by the name of Papus ben Yehuda. Who's Papus ben Yehuda? Papus ben Yehuda lived at the time of the Gemara. It says that Papus ben Yehuda saw that his wife was one of the most beautiful women alive. was one of the most beautiful women alive. Something special. And he says there's no way that people are not going to look at her. No way. So, for modesty reasons, for modesty reasons, honey, whatever you need, I'll get it for you.

9:39Go on Amazon.com, order whatever you want. You don't need to go to the store. You don't need to go to the mall. You want something, I'll give it to you. But you're not allowed to leave the house. Not allowed to leave the house. No store, no deli, no work, nothing. Whatever you need, I'll bring it to the house. No problem. And Papus ben Yehudah, Papus ben Yehudah, would leave the house and lock the door behind him, not allowing his wife to leave the house. The most she could do was look outside from the porch to see the outside. And the Gemara says this waiting? So, you think she's modest because of this? You think he's a tzaddik because of this? It says, look what happened on Yom Kippur. On Yom Kippur, Papus' wife Miriam... Same Eliyahu from the Gemara Masechet Chagigah says. She's had it. Papos says to her, I'm going to shul, tzaadik. Fasting, praying all day, see you tomorrow. He leaves. He leaves. And Rabotai HaYekarim is going.

10:59This guy called Yosef Pandera. Notice as the husband left, and he knows Miriam from back in the day. He goes, "Miriam, Miriam, when are you ever going to come out?" And Miriam says, she's so annoyed already. She hasn't been out of the house in so long. She says, "Yosef, when are you going to save me?" He says, "Today." Climbs into the house and takes her out of the house, and they run away together and commit adultery on Yom Kippur. Now, Rabotai, we ask what happened as a result of this sin? What happened from the sin is that they had a son. Who is their son? Dear Friends, don't jump the gun yet. Don't start naming names. It's not nice. Lashon Hara. Dear Friends is mentioned in the Gemara Masechet Shabbat.

12:05But if you read Masechet Shabbat, unless you know what Rav Ephraim wrote in his Ach Tov L'Yisrael Chelek Bet, all the commentary from the Chatam Sofer and other Chachamim, you're not going to know what's in Masechet Shabbat. Why? Because in Masechet Shabbat, page 104b says, Are we allowed to draw on our hands? Draw on our hands, make marks on our hands with our fingers. Is that violating Shabbat? Is that considered writing? says, well, it should be considered writing because of Ben Satzita. There was a person by the name of Ben Siddetah. He wrote all types of witchcraft on his skin. Because anytime you would get the witchcraft, the Egyptians would catch you at the border, and they would want you to take the witchcraft with you, because that's, in essence, their possession. That's their stuff. So he couldn't write the spells on paper, so he wrote them on his skin. He wrote it on his skin, and it worked. The Gemara said, no, no, we don't learn from crazy people. So the Ba'alei HaTosafot asks, who is this Ben Stada? Who is this Ben Stada? Ben Stada means Ben Sotah, the son of the wayward woman.

13:26Who's the wayward woman? The Chatam Sofer says the wayward woman is the same Miriam that cheated on her husband, Papus ben Yehuda, with Yosef ben Daita. So, who is the son? Okay, this is the wayward woman. She cheated. Chatam Sofer says a chidush of a lifetime. Who is the son? Yeshu, the Christian. May his name and memory be erased. That's how he came to the world. From what? From his mother cheating on her original husband with some goy. That's how Yeshua came to the world, rabotai. Where did he come from? Mitzvah? Who asked you to be that modest? You lock yourself in a house. Meaning about that when a person does not listen to Da'at Torah and does not double-check themselves, even their mitzvah can turn into the biggest sin that's ever happened in history. How many millions of Jews have died because of this sin that looked like a mitzvah? She wanted to be modest inside the house. He wanted to be modest inside the house. No guy ever sees anyone. Who asked you to do this? Who asked you?

14:47There are logical permissions to do certain things, and there are logical restrictions to not do certain things. A person needs to know what to do and what not to do based on the Torah, not based on their own logic. Now, when a person takes things into their own mind and starts deciding that this is the halacha, this comes from pride because they assume they're right and they don't have to double-check. All of us have pride. This is why HaKadosh Baruch Hu had mercy on us and allowed us to write the Oral Torah as well. Why? Because now we can't use pride as an excuse. Why? Because you could find out whether you're right or wrong by simply asking your rabbi or by looking at the Torah. Is what you said and what you think written in a sefer Torah? Or is it merely your own idea that you're trying to be overly righteous? Don't be overly righteous. Don't be more righteous than what the Torah says. So, does that mean that every woman could just talk to anybody? No. Does that mean that every woman has to be closed up and be so modest that no one ever sees her? No. So, what does it mean then? It means you have certain things. That's what we're gonna go over now. Get off, get off the floor, go back in your chairs now. Gemara, Masechet Nedarim, page 66a. Tanna Rabbi Yishmael says,

16:13He concerned himself with the issues of protecting B'not Yisrael, ensuring their safety and dignity. The protection of B'not Yisrael, which refers to all types of Jewish women, was a significant focus. The Gemara in Masechet Nedarim discusses various types of vows. When people make a vow, and if they fail to fulfill it, they face serious consequences. However, under certain conditions, one can annul a vow. This requires a talmid chacham, or a beit din of three, to permit the annulment of the vow. So Tanna Rabbi Yishmael says there was a certain person that made a vow. What's the vow? Not to marry his niece. In those days, it was very common to marry your niece. In fact, it was meritorious to marry your niece, your sister's daughter. He says there's already love and affection between the family. It's allowed. It's not a sister, chas v'shalom, it's the niece. It's the sister's daughter. But this guy says, no, no, I'm not marrying her. Even though the Chachamim say it's a good thing, I'm not marrying her. Why am I not marrying her? Because she's ugly. She's ugly. I don't want to marry her. She looks like Saba Gedolah. She's not for me. No zewigeh, it's not for me. No. So they brought the girl, the parents brought the girl to Rabbi Yishmael. They said, look,

17:35That even our own uncle doesn't want to marry her. No one's going to want to marry her, and it looks bad for the whole family. So Rabbi Yishmael told his daughters to take care of her, beautify her, purify her. They started taking care of her, putting on some makeup, doing her hair, manicure, pedicure—everything was redone. After she finished, Rabbi Yishmael himself brought her to his uncle. He said, my dear son, is this the one that you made a neder not to marry? No, no, no, of course I want to marry her. No, no, I didn't mean it. I didn't mean it. And at that moment, Rabbi Yishmael said, beautiful. It's only poverty that makes them ugly. Why? Because they can't take care of themselves. Similar to the situation we had in Egypt, the women made themselves ugly on purpose. They put ashes on their faces and so on. Why? Because they were scared that if they looked beautiful, then the Egyptians would rape them. But generally speaking, these were not the same beautiful women now. The Gemara continues and says there was a husband that had it with his wife.

18:58He says, "I'm making a vow that unless Rabbi Yishmael himself finds one good thing about you, one beautiful thing about you, I'm getting divorced." And Rabbi Akiva says that one of the conditions under which a husband can divorce his wife is if she is ugly. So now, this might seem like a funny story, but it's not funny. Why? Because you see what's going on. This highlights the extent to which Rabbi Yishmael and our tzaddikim are concerned about the people of Israel. Now he can't just divorce her. He has to get the permission of the rabbi. So he says, "Go to the rabbi, and I want him to personally find something good about you. That's how unattractive you are." So this poor woman goes to Rabbi Yishmael, and Rabbi Yishmael is not meeting her directly. He instructs his daughter, "Go deal with her. You tell me what happened." They tell him what's going on. Her husband says he's going to divorce her because he finds her unattractive, and unless something good can be found about her, he wants a divorce. He seeks the rabbi's permission to proceed with the divorce.

19:58So Rabbi Yishmael says, well, maybe she has a really nice round head. Maybe it's really nice. Her head is really round. And the daughter said, no, her head is like an egg. It's like an egg, from here to here. She doesn't have a nice head. He says, maybe, maybe she has nice hair. Nice hair, maybe it's curly, maybe it's straight, shiny, something. She goes, no, Hashem yerachem. Her hair is like a bush tree going in all directions, like she got electrocuted, Hashem yerachem. No hair. So he says, maybe she has nice eyes, pretty eyes, nice pretty eyes, you know, nice green eyes, brown eyes, some eyes. She goes, oh, Hashem yerachem, she has eyes like a cow. Perfect circle, Hashem yerachem. What kind of eyes does this woman have? So then he says, okay, so maybe she has nice ears. She has nice ears. Maybe her ears are nice. Meaning he's looking for permission to find something nice about this girl so she can stay married. Miskena, who's going to marry this troll?

21:08So the Gemara says, what nice ears. Her ears are thick and heavy and fat. She has the Beats, the Beats, the headphones on her ears without the Beats. That's her ears. Okay, maybe she has a nice little nose, a nice little cute, peachy nose, something nose. He says, "What nose? This girl, what does she have? Her nose looks like it's indented in her face." Okay, maybe she has nice lips. "What lips? What lips? Her lips are thick; they're like a whale," he says about her lips. Maybe she has a nice neck. "Oh, neck. Her neck is crooked." Okay, maybe she at least has a nice stomach. She goes, what nice stomach? It's several people. She shows you when she moves; you know, it's like the earth is moving with her. She makes a spin for the sake of Heaven. Oh no, it's not a nice stomach. Okay, maybe she has nice legs, at least she has nice legs. He's asking his daughter to find something nice about this poor girl.

22:27While we're laughing at our expense, he's trying to find something nice. Maybe she has nice legs. It's a real Gemara. She has nice legs. She goes, no, our legs are like the duck's. Thick on top, thin on the bottom. We're not even sure how it's holding up all this weight. Maybe she has a nice name. This is what her name is. Her name is Lichluchit. Lichluchit means like dirt. Miklach is like dirt. Ah, says Rabbi Yishmael. Ah, I found something nice. What's nice? Her name is appropriate to her body. Just like she's a ba'alat mum, she has a deformed body. The name belongs to this body. No get. He has to stay with her. That's how much Rabbi Yishmael loved the daughters of Am Yisrael. Why? Now, he says, okay, let this guy go find somebody else. Poor girl, who's she gonna be with? He has to find something, but he can't invent the law. He says, ah, I found something nice. What's something nice? Her name is nice. Her name belongs to her body. Sometimes you have a girl that she's called Sunshine, but she only brings darkness to the world. Her personality is dark. She's called Sunshine, but she's not.

23:55You know, sometimes you have a girl named Simcha, but she's depressed. Simcha means happiness, but she's a manic-depressive. So, he says the name matches the body. That's how wise the Chachamim are, but also how much they love the Am Yisrael. Now, what do we learn here that has to do with our issue? Rav Yishmael goes over every single body part, meaning that beauty is not outside of Judaism. It's not prohibited to be beautiful. It's not surprising that people who don't know us think that Jewish people are like these dark people who always wear black and always seem depressed or something, you know, like hiding in some cave. That's the opposite of the Torah. Why? Because we see here that beauty is very much a part of Judaism. They talk about it all the time. Going into the details of body parts: a beautiful nose, beautiful hair, beautiful this, beautiful that. This means that you're perfectly allowed to appreciate beauty. So, where does modesty come into play? It says that beautiful looks are perfectly fine, as long as they are not unladylike and vulgar, meaning as long as they are not chasuf or gas.

25:20Unladylike, meaning she's walking like she's some street trash. She's walking around like she belongs to the world. A woman walks around uncovered, and her whole body is exposed, so you have to ask her, "Are you a piece of garbage?" No, you're not a piece of garbage. Then how come you're allowing everybody to look at you? No one allows strangers to look at what's inside the house, but nobody cares if you look at their garbage. Why are you treating your body as if it were something to be thrown away? Why are you treating your body as a piece of garbage, allowing everybody to look at you—allowing everyone to look at your skin? How come? That's not ladylike. You're treating your body like it's a piece of garbage, letting anyone look at it. So, if she's beautiful, it's not a problem. But if she's unladylike in her behavior and her clothing, if she's exposed herself, she's acting inappropriately. She's wearing something that attracts attention. She might choose clothes that are extra tight, meaning that it doesn't matter what color she's wearing or what pattern is on the clothing. It doesn't even matter what she has on, because she's pretty much left nothing to the imagination. She walks around, and it might as well be that she is walking around naked because her attire is so tight. Her entire image and body shape are visible to everybody.

26:45Everybody knows that when a woman wears clothing with certain patterns or has words on her chest, or a design just on specific body parts, it draws attention to those areas. This is why it's not allowed. For example, the whole outfit could be plain, except for the chest, which might have "Nike" or "Fendi" on it. Naturally, people's eyes will be drawn to just that part where the words are. They're just gonna look at that. There was one dress some woman asked me, "Is this modest?" You see that the dress is beautiful, maiseh, maiseh beautiful. Unfortunately, the company was an Arab company because they're the only ones that sell modest clothes today. But anyway, I said, "Oh, it's beautiful, but it's not allowed." Why is it not allowed? It has nothing to do with Arabs. You're allowed to buy from Arabs if it's modest, you're allowed. Why is it not allowed? Because if you look at the design... That specific dress has a certain design that draws attention directly to the top and bottom, highlighting those specific areas. This detracts from modesty because it leads observers to focus solely on those two aspects. While the outfit technically covers the body, the design undermines the overall modesty. Thus, some clothing can be attractive without being appropriate according to halacha.

28:08attracting when she walks around, she's going to naturally attract people's attention to that part of the body, or the clothing is not covering a part of the body, or it's too tight, and so on and so forth. But as far as her being beautiful, that's perfectly fine. There's a kosher way of being beautiful, meaning, look like a lady. Cover your body and make sure that you are not trying to actively attract attention. You're allowed to be beautiful, but if you're wearing a wig that's three feet long, and when you walk around, it's like one of these fancy horses you find in movies walking around with their fancy tails, it's the same thing as your hair. Guess what? What do you think? What rabbi ever told you that wig is kosher? Forget the Avodah Zarah part. What rabbi in the history of man ever said that this long wig is kosher? You walk around, it's like the horse left the commercial and came to your house. What happened? Who says it's allowed? It's not modest. It's not modest. Needless to say, the whole issue with the wigs coming from India, but that we've already covered many, many times.

29:24The point is that when a woman is looking to be modest, it doesn't mean she has to make herself ugly. In fact, she's not allowed to make herself ugly. She's not allowed to make herself ugly on purpose. She has to be beautiful for her husband, and she's allowed to look decent all the time. However, she's not allowed to do certain things that are specifically going to attract attention. wearing specific types of clothes, specific types of streaks, specific types of cuts, and so on and so forth. But if Hashem blessed her with beauty, kavod, you have a nice kisui rosh, and the kisui rosh has diamonds on it, perfect. Yeah, but it's going to bring attention. Let it bring attention. Everyone's going to know you're a queen and you have diamonds on your head. Hopefully, they'll follow the mitzvah. You're beautifying the mitzvah. Unified, let me try. There's nothing wrong with that; it's perfectly fine. Oh, the dress is really expensive. Okay, let it be expensive. That's what you have money in the world for. If it's about us, let it be expensive. No problem, it's mitzvah. I'm going to give you the money back. But if it's immodest, it doesn't matter if it's from the 99-cent store; you're still not allowed to buy it. So, beauty is not prohibited, immodesty is. But immodesty also comes in the form of behavior.

30:53woman is allowed. As the Gemara says, a woman is allowed to have a cordial relationship with society if there is some type of employee, business associate, or family member who is male. He is allowed to talk to her, and she is allowed to talk to him about things that are necessary. Excuse me, many of the chachamim, their wives ran businesses and... Wives ran businesses. So what do you think? These are the Gedolei HaDor, like the Chafetz Chaim's wife, who ran a business. The Gaon MiVilna. ran a business. Many of the chachamim, their wives ran businesses, either farms or little stores, and there are many stories about these tzadikot, meaning they dealt with men. Do you think they forced all their customers to be women? No, they dealt with men as customers. There were men, no problem. They came, they bought, they sold from them. Sometimes they had lawsuits against them; sometimes they had business transactions with them. Sometimes it was good, sometimes it was bad. But whatever was necessary, any conversation they needed to have, they had no problem at all.

32:00What's not allowed? What's prohibited? Unnecessary stuff. So what's unnecessary stuff? Unnecessary stuff, rabotai, is in Gemara HaMasechet Kiddushin, page 78. We don't make use of women for no reason. What does it mean? We don't make use of women for no reason. You're not allowed to say hello to a woman for no reason. What does it mean? Saying hello to a woman for no reason implies unnecessary socialization with her. You're allowed to say hello, as the Tosafot says over there, and Rav Elyashiv's commentary on Masechet Kiddushin confirms as well. You're allowed to say hello to a woman: hello, hello, goodbye, goodbye. No problem. But you're not allowed to start a long conversation like "How are you doing?" or "So, where's your husband?" "Oh, he's not home? Where did he go?" "Oh, he's away for the weekend?" or "Oh, he's doing business?" or "Are the kids home?" or "Where's your mom?" These kinds of investigative questions are not appropriate. Why? Because that's an unnecessary conversation.

33:04But if it's a necessary conversation, like if I need to ship something to your house, or if I ask, "Is your husband home?" or things like that, there's no problem. You're conducting business or managing family affairs, which is perfectly fine. However, if it starts becoming flirtatious, that's where an issue arises. Why? Because we have a story in the Torah about a woman named Shlomit. Shlomit was a very, very nice lady. She's one of the few women that's mentioned in the Torah by name, only unfortunately for her, she's mentioned in an unfavorable way. Why? She was so nice. She said hello to everybody, including the Egyptians. The Egyptian took it seriously, deciding, "Oh, she said hi to me. She probably wants to be with me," and he ended up raping her, and from her came the person that cursed Hashem's name and... From the tribe of Dan. But they didn't consider him from the tribe of Dan. Why? Because his father was a goy. But his mother was a Jew. The point is, he ended up cursing Hashem's name, and Moshe Rabbeinu administered the death penalty. But why? Because Shlomit was flirtatious. Hello, goodbye, how's your wife? How are the kids? How are you? What's going on? What are you guys doing for the holidays? Why are you asking 500 questions? What is this, Jeopardy?

34:31What's up, okay basic stuff, no problem. What does it all mean about time? It means that you're allowed to do everything, just in a kosher way. Being extreme, being stringent is not necessarily always good, as we saw from the story of Yishmael. No, three came from something that looks like a mitzvah. Protects the beauty of the woman, brings her everything to the house, wine and dinner, but only to you looks like a mitzvah. Maybe it's a mitzvah of Mustafa. In Islam, it's considered a mitzvah to have 90 wives and pretty much seclude them to nothingness. For them, it's a mitzvah in Gehenom; for Am Yisrael, no, it's not a mitzvah. She needs to conduct herself in the world because the Torah knows if you seclude her too much, eventually she'll explode. Needless to say, if we do that to our kids, telling kids they are not allowed to use phones, not allowed to use computers, not allowed to use cars. Everything is 'not allowed.' Guess what? One day, he's not gonna be a kid anymore.

35:41One day he's not gonna have to listen to you anymore. One day he's 18, 19, 20, or 25 years old, and he's gonna find a phone that he's not been allowed to have. For 20 years in his yeshiva education, he does what's he's not allowed to do all these years. And guess what? He sees the phone for the first time and loses his mind. Why does he lose his mind? Why do all these religious kids, who were contained to the extreme, lose control as soon as they see a computer for the first time at 20 years old? They lose control as soon as they see a phone for the first time because they don't have any antibodies. When you have a baby, you bring your baby to the doctor, and the doctors give a flu shot, a tetanus shot, and all types of shots. But in reality, what is it? The shot is the actual sickness. It's the virus. Why would you, in your right mind, put a virus into a little baby? Because you're putting the virus in him or her in order for him or her to develop antibodies, to develop an antibiotic, to develop a defense mechanism in case it comes back bigger, stronger, and out of control. That way, you already have a defense system.

36:57That's when you have a defense system if you teach your kids right and wrong. Here, this is a phone, and you have to use this phone in a certain way. This website is allowed. There's no such thing as "shem.org" allowed. "Shamia Ham" website is not allowed. This is allowed; this is not allowed. Teaching them right and wrong is what teaches them a defense mechanism. They know that the bad exists and... They choose the good to simply cut out the bad and pretend like it doesn't exist. That's asking for problems because one day they're going to have access to the bad without any antibodies, without any antibiotics, without any defense mechanism. So they're not going to know what to do. So being extreme is not good in that aspect, but there are times you have to be extreme, and when it comes to character traits, if you're an angry person, you have to work extremely hard on yourself not to be angry. When it comes to character traits, if you're an angry person, you have to be extremely diligent. Work on yourself really, really hard not to be angry. It's hard. If you're an arrogant person, you have to be extremely cautious and do everything possible to remove this pride from your heart. You have to be extreme with things like that. When it comes to the Torah, you have to make sure you know what to do and when to do it. Last but not least, it's...

38:18known among people that the color red is considered attracting, but what most people don't know is that it's not prohibited all the time. Most people think that red is forbidden; this is not necessarily true. I have heard from Rav Ovadia Yosef, the biggest Sephardic Rabbi in the world today, the gadol hador. Already said we know that red is allowed. Not only is it, it's, it's, not a so it's allowed actually where what's the source? He says, look in a song every one of us sings on Friday night, Eshet Chayil. Eshet Chayil means the woman of valor. It says this Eshet Chayil who ran a business to support her family and so on, she has linen and purple wool as her clothing and... I love my Zohar, which is the biggest expert in the world today in the Hebrew language. It says that actually, such ash is not purple; it's red. And red is allowed. So how come so many are saying it's not allowed? This red by itself is allowed. Red that's attracting is not allowed. There are different shades of red, and...

39:40Different shades of red, if it's a normal relatively light type of red, are perfectly okay. No problem. It's a red stripe? No problem. A red design? No problem. But if it's a red like a traffic light, chas v'shalom, no colors allowed. It attracts too much attention. If you look at a traffic light, black is not allowed because it carries so much attention. So, the point is that there are certain things where a person needs to go into the details—find out who, what, when, and how. Don't just assume that being the most strict is the best thing to do; only an idiot thinks that being strict on everything is Judaism. That's not Judaism. Strictness is actually the exact opposite of the Torah. Where do we see this idea from? Christianity. Christianity claimed modesty, huh? Oh, we're so holy that our holy men are not even allowed to be with women, and our holy women are not allowed to be with men. We have nuns and priests. What ends up happening out of this falsehood? The priests exploit a bunch of little boys, and the nuns end up also engaging in inappropriate behavior with boys, girls, the priests, and anyone in between. But it's all behind the scenes, so these so-called holy women are among the most disgraceful people on earth, and...

41:01Throughout all of history, look at the stories and the personal biographies of the popes, the original popes, and the popes throughout all of history, and their personal lives that were uncovered later on. Complete filth and disgusting acts. Gone nefesh of life. There were murderers, rapists, adulterers - all the sins in the book they committed. But in the eyes of the people, no, they claimed, "We're holy. We're not married. We're not married." They're just pretending. Christianity and Islam are no different. They force women to wear this sack in the name of righteousness. But the rich ones, the rich ones that allow their wives to go away once in a while on vacation, they leave Iran because in Iran, if you show your eye, it's already a death penalty. You think the death penalty is like they kill everybody for fun. But once they get on the plane, there's nothing. Once these women get on the plane, they take off the black garments that they have on and they all have almost nothing on. They come to America or Europe and display the filthiest, most disgusting behavior in the world. Wait, but I thought you were modest? No, no, it was just an act; modesty fakers.

42:21So, the Torah does not say to be extreme, but it also doesn't say to be lenient in everything. There are times to be lenient, and there are times to be strict. There are times to do this, and there are times to do that. Any fool can tell you to be strict all the time and that nothing is allowed. But only a chacham (a wise person) will tell you what is permitted and what is not permitted, when to be strict, and when not to be strict. So this, I think, is very critical for all of Bnot Yisrael. All of us get a little bit of chizuk from this. All of the men also can encourage their wives to watch this with them. And we arrive at Rosh Hashanah much more righteous than we were over the last year. Baruch Adonai le'olam. Amen ve'amen.