Parashat VaYeitzei MUSSAR From BUSINESS With LAVAN

0:14Are we serving Hashem like our forefather Yaakov? Well, let's see. In Parashat Vayetzei, one day Yaakov comes to his wives. And he says to them, "Now you have known that I was with all my might, that I served your father. Yet your father mocked me and changed my wage, changed the salary, changed the deal, changed the contract a hundred times. What's the chiddush? You all heard this before. I said a chiddush, Baruch Hashem." Now you have known that I was with all my might, that I served your father. Yet your father mocked me and changed my wage, changed the salary, changed the deal, changed the contract a hundred times. What's the chiddush? You all heard this before. I said a chiddush, Baruch Hashem,

1:37a year or two ago, and asked the question. Everyone knew that Lavan is a Rasha. He's not a Chiddush. Everyone knew. He was such a Rasha, that the reason why Yaakov went to him, is because even Esav was scared of him. Esav, Gadol HaDor of the Reshaim, is scared of Lavan. That's why he went to him. So it's not a secret. They said the only thing you know about Lavan is that he's automatically a liar. Even his name is a lie because his whole life is black, and his name is Lavan. Everyone knew he's a cheater. Everyone knows he's a rasha. So if everyone knows, of course his daughters know also. So what is Yaakov saying? Finally, he's telling his daughters, yeah, your father has cheated me, changed my salary a hundred times. What, they don't know their father's a criminal? They don't know their father's a—everyone knows. Even Esav, who lives in a different country, knows. What's the chiddush here? Yaakov Avinu did something that should give us a little bit of perspective on who we're dealing with here.

3:06twenty years of working and being cheated. Day after day. Being given the wrong wife. Being given the wrong salary. Being given the wrong contract. A hundred different types of contracts. For 20 years, Yaakov Avinu did not complain even one time, even to his own wives. In private, he never told even his own wives. of truth, but Lashon Hara about their own father. For 20 years, he did not complain. For 20 years, he let his wife, the daughter of this Rasha, believe that her father is doing okay by him. I go to work, he pays me. The fact that he changed the pay a hundred times? They don't need to know that. The fact that their father is a Rasha? They don't need to know that. For what? What are we going to tell them for? So they hate their father? So they don't want to invite him for Pesach? So they don't want to go over for Shabbat? So they don't want to have the kids play with them all of a sudden? For what are we going to tell them? Machloket within the family? For what? 20 years of suffering quietly.

4:29When did he finally say it? He said, okay, Hashem told me I must leave. Now, in case you don't believe that this is the will of Hashem, understand a little sign of why Hashem, a little sign, not the whole reason, but a little reason of why Hashem said I must leave, is because, in reality, I didn't tell you. Because I didn't want you to have a little sikhsukh, a little altercation with your father, but in reality, your father, he's been cheating me since day one. So Yaakov Avinu, who had the right, who was correct in this, if he said, listen, your father's a cheater, a week after he's there, he's 100% right. They knew too. If he said, listen, your father really told me I was supposed to marry your sister. Your father really told me that I was really supposed to get this many sheep. Your father really told me ta-ta-ta. He had the right to do it. But he said no. There's no benefit. All it's going to do is create problems. For the sake of the sanctification of Hashem, for the sake of Shalom Bayit,

5:52And for the sake of not making an aveira of saying lashon hara, he kept quiet for 20 years. We hear a juicy rumor we're not even sure is right, and 20 seconds later it's already on the news. Yaakov Avinu, 20 years. Seder. Later on, Parashat Vayishlach, Yaakov Avinu, who didn't exactly have an easy life, says, Hashem, I know I've gone through these 20 years of torture with Lavan, thank you very much for that. I know that I had some issues with the children, thank you for that. I know I had this, I know I had that, but Hashem, you're so great to me.

6:52He says, I have been diminished by all the kindness and by all the truth you've done for your servant. Meaning, Hashem, everything you're doing I know is for my own good. Even the tikkunim, even the problems, even the headaches, even the loss of money, even all the problems. know it's all good for me, and it's so good. You're actually doing me chesed. Thank you, you're doing me too much chesed, Hashem. I don't deserve so much chesed that you're giving me—all these problems you're giving me. That's the second thing we learn about Yaakov, but the final one is this: we know that Yaakov was cheated.

7:52We know that Yaakov took it the right way. But then, if we go in the middle, at the end of Parashat Vayetze, when Lavan finally catches up to Yaakov and accuses him of stealing this and that, Yaakov finally says, enough. says these 20 years have been with you, your ewes and your she-goats never miscarried, nor did I eat rams of your flock, meaning I never even took a shawarma sandwich while working for your restaurant without paying for it. That which was mangled, I never brought to you; I myself... would bear the loss for me, you would extract. Meaning, if I worked in your restaurant and the steak fell on the floor, I didn't clean it up and serve it to the customer anyway. I paid for it and I gave the customer a new one. Why should you lose because of my mistake? Whether it was stolen by day or stolen by night,

9:15Someone stole, I paid for it. Not you. Why? Because you put me as the shomer. It's my responsibility. I didn't say, listen, why don't you claim insurance? Call the insurance company. They're going to pay. No, you put me in charge. Somebody stole, I took it upon myself. And I didn't even tell you about it. I didn't say, hey, listen, do me a favor. Parnassah is a little difficult now. I'm getting married. Kids are going to yeshiva. It's tough. No, no, no. Something stolen, something lost, I paid for it without second-guessing anything. This is how I was: by day, scorching heat consumed me and frost by night; my sleep drifted from my eyes. This is my 20 years in your household. She says, whether I was in the heat of Florida or the freezing cold of New York, I worked full time.

10:17I forgot what sleep feels like in general. Now, Rav Nissim Yagen, Zecher Tzaddik Livracha, asked a question. And it's a good question we have to ask ourselves. And with the help of Hashem, Rabbi Shimon Schwab will give us the answer. The question is, now we know that Lavan was a Rasha. We know that Lavan cheated Yaakov for 20 years. We also know now that Yaakov worked his heart out, rain or shine, cold or hot, loss or profit. The question is, can anyone here

11:20myself included, say that we're serving Hashem like Yaakov served Lavan HaRasha. Are you working for Hashem the same way that Yaakov worked for Lavan HaRasha, who was cheating him? Or is it that every time the snooze button is close to your hand, you're pressing it 18 times because you don't want to go to netz? Or every time Shabbat comes in, and you're about 15 minutes away, you make sure that you answer a few extra emails because chas v'shalom, you can't not answer a business email before Shabbat. Or is it every time your wife looks at you the wrong way, you forget that you're not supposed to exert anger like an animal, and immediately you lunge and act like a wildebeest on the Discovery Channel? Are we serving Hashem, who gives us eyes, ears, mouth, brain, cells, parnassah, and zivug?

12:33Things we know of, things we don't know of. Things we understand, things we'll never understand. Are we serving Hashem, who gave us the ability to enjoy both this world and the next world to such an extent, that, as Rabbi Mizrachi said in a recent lecture, this is the amazing part of Hashem? He punishes us by sending us to exile. It's a punishment to live in America. This is the Egypt of the modern day. It's a punishment to live anywhere else other than Israel. It's a punishment. The land vomited us. Our souls weren't exactly tzaddikim in previous generations, so we're here. But Hashem loves us so much, That even through the punishment of banishing us to exile, He still allows us to enjoy the exile. No one wants to come back home. No one wants to go back to Israel. Once in a while, someone says, "Oh yeah, I'll move to Israel." But no, I have to have parnassah. I have to have a house with four rooms. I have to have a nice view. I have to have a job that's giving me $25,000 a month. I have to have all my kids in the best schools. I have to have conditions for Hashem.

13:58Hashem, if You give me all these conditions, I'll move to Eretz Yisrael. But if it's going to be a little uncomfortable, if my kids have to walk seven minutes to school, no, no. Hashem, come on. It's too much. We're enjoying the punishment so much that we forgot it's a punishment. That's how much Hashem loves us. So this very same Hashem that loves us so much, that allows us to even find meaning in our challenges, are we worshipping Him as much as Yaakov served a rasha named Lavan?