PeSach Seder Funny MUSSAR

0:06We have Pesach coming up in less than two weeks. Rosh Chodesh was just a few days ago, and now we have Pesach coming up. This is a month of miracles, and at the same token, it's a very, very big responsibility for us to make sure that we have a Pesach that is not only kasher but also sameach. You know a lot of people work really hard to clean their houses and to buy all different types of things... and to buy all different types of things. By the time they get to the seder, they're so tired they don't finish the seder. This defeats the whole point, you know? So first and foremost, you should know that a lot of times people clean too much. Now, of course, you clean and you're supposed to have a clean house, but the mistake is that sometimes people mistake...

1:22They decide to start removing things from the closets, redoing the garage, painting the walls, and engaging in all types of things like this, but that's not what Hashem requires of us. If you want to do it, fine, as long as you do it and still remain happy. However, if you're going to do it and arrive at Pesach full of complaints about how hard you worked for the last month and a half to clean the house, when in reality... Cleaning for Pesach should not take, if you have a normal-sized house, a day, two days max. So where's the mistake? How come sometimes there's people that literally spend a month, two months cleaning for Pesach? How? The mistake is that people think that avak, dust, is chametz. Dust is not chametz. Dust is dust. You're always going to have dust. And their husband and kids are korbanot. No, husband and kids are not korbanot. You don't need to bring a korban Pesach. You know, they tell people, start, you know, cleaning the toys, cleaning the ceilings. If you like cleaning, no problem. The problem that you see is that a lot of people clean so much and work so hard that by the time they arrive at the seder, they hate Pesach because they work so hard, they redid the house.

2:43They painted the walls. They painted the ceilings. They removed this. They bought a new couch every year. Every day. By the time they get to Pesach, they hate it. That's not Ratzon Hashem. So it's supposed to be a Pesach kasher v'sameach. Kasher v'sameach, meaning that, yes, you're supposed to have a kosher house. Make sure you know what to clean and how to clean it. But also, it has to be sameach. It has to be a happy time. If you have kids and you have guests, you must know that your responsibility on Pesach is your kids, not your guests. Your kids are your responsibility, not your guests. Why? Because the number one most important mitzvah of Pesach is to tell the story of the Exodus from Egypt, Yetziat Mitzrayim. That's the number one responsibility. More important than anything else. Why? If you don't know why we left Egypt, what are you celebrating? Why are you eating this little thin cracker, the matzah? Why are you eating it, for what? For custom?

3:55So, you have to know different things about all of the makot, the ten plagues. Don't come to Pesach reading from a book for the first time. Prepare now, prepare over this week. We have, Baruch Hashem, a couple of lectures about the Ten Plagues, and we made, Baruch Hashem, Teem Hashem HaTzadikim, made it easy for you, where we made a short three to five-minute clip about each one of the plagues. Different insights about each one of the plagues. At the very least, learn those ten videos. So, at least when you come to Pesach, you have something to say to your kids other than what you see in the book. Why? Because if you only rely on the text, you need to understand the psychology of a human being. I studied a bit of psychology in school, and you have to understand that the psychology of people, especially children, is something unique. Why? Because...

4:59A lot of times, what's really going on is very different from what's actually happening. You might think, oh yeah, if I read from the book to the kids, then the kids are going to learn and respond with yes, no, yes, no, and that's it. What you might not be understanding is that if you're reading the book for the first time, and you're stuttering, and you're not really sure what's happening, you're like, oh wow, you're surprised as well. And you're not telling them a story; rather, you are learning the story with them. Guess what? They're not going to accept it from you. They're not going to accept you as a vessel that knows what Moshe Rabbeinu really did. Why? Because you're a kid just like them. You're learning for the first time just like them. But if you come prepared to the seder, and you have something to say, you read what it says, you know what it says, but you say something else also. Oh, you know, it says this, but also I learned from Rabbi so-and-so, from the Midrash here, or from something here, that also... You know, it says, oh, you know, the frogs, it says that the frogs were everywhere, but also it says that the frogs were inside the Egyptians. Alive, though. Not dead. Alive, inside the Egyptians. That's part of the reason why they couldn't sleep either. Because all night, all night, from inside their body. Now, I tell you the truth, it's very hard for me to believe this. I heard this Midrash years ago.

6:25I read it. The Midrash says that the frogs were inside the Egyptians. I said, "No, come on." Inside, the Egyptians all couldn't find them. Even after they died. So what are you saying? It's making noise? Making noise. How's it making noise? It's dead. You have acids in your stomach; it digests the frogs, finished, right? So it's hard to believe, especially when you're beginning. You don't really know if this is real, if this is a story or a parable. You're not really sure. You know, when I learned that it's a hundred percent true... Hashem gave me a private Mussar lesson. He gave me a private Mussar lesson about a year ago. A year ago, we lived in a different house. One day, you know, I don't know—in Florida, apparently, you guys have the remains of what's left from the dinosaurs. There are lizards and frogs everywhere. So apparently one of these frogs that was outside of our house gave birth, and...

7:39But what I never knew is that, you know, people give birth sometimes to one kid, two kids, or three kids. You know, once in a blue moon, you hear of a miracle—six or eight kids at once or something, something that happens once in a generation. You know, a dog gives, you know, six puppies, seven puppies. It's cute. A frog, though, is different—frogs are different. gives birth to anywhere between 200 to over a thousand frogs at once. Now, you can read this on Wikipedia, but you could save yourself the time. Why? I saw all of them. She gave birth to over a thousand frogs. How do I know over a thousand frogs? Because they were all over the walls, all over the windows, and then, what? That's not a Mussar lesson. That's National Geographic. What's the mussar lesson? They started coming into the house. We had a hole somewhere. We didn't know where it was, which window, which wall. For three or four nights, I don't remember exactly. It was like a traumatizing experience. For three to four nights, you know, you try to forget these things. But Baruch Hashem, Hashem doesn't allow me to forget this, so I can tell you the story.

8:58Three to four nights ago, we had anywhere between 30 to 70 frogs inside our house. It would never be finished until we found the hole and closed it. We closed this hole, we closed that hole. It was a shame, and what a kapparah it was. The only thing that, you know, what you do, I mean, you have, you start, you put salt, you put salt all over the floor because it dries them out and they die. And so you literally had, every few hours, you had 15 dead frogs here, 15 dead frogs there. So now why am I telling you this story, other than for you to laugh at me? Why? Because this showed me 100% the Midrash is real and literal. Why? Because the frogs, they're so little, but they look like a bug, yet they're actually mamash a chaya. And it's unbelievable. These things can live anywhere. If you give them any type of liquid, they can survive anywhere. Inside the body, no problem. Unbelievable. So, these types of stories, rabotai, you bring to your kids.

10:21They're going to love you, and they're going to believe you, and they're going to like the Torah. Why? This stuff people can connect to, especially kids. They have a much better imagination than us. It's untainted by all the garbage we've seen throughout our lives. So you've got to bring this stuff to the kids. You've got to bring it, you've got to tell them nice stories. What happened? Oh, yes. I thought the splitting of the sea. First of all, I thought it was the Red Sea. That's what I thought, it's the Sea of Reeds, not the Red Sea. The Sea of Reeds is an entirely different place. That's number one. Number two, I thought it was a nice even split going from one end to the other - wrong. The Rambam explains that it was 12 different tunnels, one tunnel in the water for each one of the tribes. For each one of the tribes, why? Because everybody had their own ways, their own thing, their own this, but at the same time, Hashem wanted unity. So what did He do? He made the walls, which were water, clear so they could see each other. Each tribe could see one another, but at the same time, not be forced to be on top of each other. Each one had their own people, their own families, their own everything.

11:30So, you see how many miracles were in the Kriyat Yam Suf? You see how many miracles were in each plague? Why did Hashem give them the plagues? Why did He choose blood? Why did He choose apple juice? Instead of turning the water to blood, turn it to apple juice. Turn it to wine. Why did he choose blood? Why did he give them lice? How big was the lice? Why couldn't they just kill the lice? What's the big deal with these lice? What, isn't it only on your hair? When you learn the Midrashim, you start seeing each louse was the size of a chicken egg. Each louse was the size of a chicken egg. Not only that, it filled up the floor. Kinim. Little things that go in your hair and sometimes in kids' hair. There was so much lice that there were three feet of lice on the floor, meaning there was no way to avoid them; you were walking in them. It was like that. You learn these things, and the Torah becomes something different. You can start visualizing what Am Yisrael went through.

12:38start appreciating the Torah, you start appreciating the luxurious life that you have. But by the same token, you also learn about reward and punishment yourself. Of course, you have to customize this to your child's age. If your kid is two, three, four, or five years old, tell them all these stories and... But if your kid is 12, 13, or 14 years old, you could add some other stories, such as that only 20% of Am Yisrael left Egypt. Why? Because the rest of them didn't want to do teshuvah, so Hashem punished them. To the three, four, or five-year-olds, you could say: "Not everybody left because they didn't want to listen to Hashem." But for the 13-year-olds, you have to teach them with honesty. You're teaching about reward and punishment; you tell them, "No, no, it's not that Hashem killed them." So you have to know how to customize it to your kid. Don't teach your kid about Gehinnom at three years old; it's not going to help him. At the same time, don't neglect to teach him about it at 13 years old. Either way, it should be a focus on the nice things—focus on the miracles, focus on the beauty of the miracles, and so on. But if you're not going to prepare until the last day, guess what?

13:53Not gonna work because when your kid hears the stories from you and it looks to him like it's the first time you're ever hearing it yourself, he's not gonna believe you. He's not gonna take it from you, and it could get to a point where you really feel like you've lost the kid before you got him. He's like half asleep. So the most important part of the seder is to have a nice, long story of what happened in Mitzrayim. It could be in sections: one before you eat, then, obviously, let everybody eat and talk, you know, after you eat, and then, after all the songs, continue. Buddy, I love us alone. When he would have his grandchildren over, he would teach them all the way. You know, these are grandchildren, not three or four-year-olds. Don't torture your kids if they're three or four years old; let them go to sleep. A short story, a half-hour maximum. Let them go to sleep. For the little kids, the three or four-year-olds, don't start a mitzvah by torturing little kids. But again, if they're ten, eleven, or twelve years old, teach them a little more. They can handle more.

14:59He would have his grandkids over, especially some of his older grandkids who were already 10, 11, 12, or 13 years old. He would teach them until 12 o'clock at night. Then, at 12 o'clock, everyone would go to sleep, and he would study Torah for the rest of the night about Yetziat Mitzrayim. You might think, "Wait a minute, Yetziat Mitzrayim — you've learned it 5,000 times!" There's always more to learn. There's always more to learn about Torah. It's important to know that when you arrive to Pesach, you have to be ready with these stories. You have to be ready with what to do. In regards to the cleaning of Pesach and things like that, I have a short shiur that I have online that goes over all of the simple halachot of Pesach. In regards to just a short brief... I don't know if I said this in the previous year or not, but last year, Pesach is a time for Jews. It's not a time for Goyim. So if you have friends that are Goyim, meaning they are not Jewish, don't invite them for Pesach. It's not a mitzvah. It's not a mitzvah because Pesach is specifically an obligation for you to have the seder with those who are obligated in the mitzvot.

16:20you're the one that's keeping Pesach. There are some opinions that you're not allowed to bring goyim to your house. Now, to bring goyim to your house unless they show up by themselves, if they show up by themselves, they invite themselves to your house, then you're allowed to host them, you're allowed to feed them. If it's a dignitary or something, if it's like a mayor or somebody that holds a position of power, and There's also leniency there, but most of all, the biggest leniency and even a mitzvah is if they're in the process of conversion. If they're in the process of conversion, you should invite them. Why? Because, in essence, if they're in the process of conversion, this is practice for them. They have to learn how to do this. Now, if somebody's in the process of conversion and they're not being hosted by a Jewish family, they have to do it themselves. They do it themselves; that said, they're 99%. Celebrate Pesach 99% of the time. They clean like everybody else; they have to celebrate the holiday. But if they're legitimately in the process, not just imagining they're in the process, like truly in the process of converting, they have to clean for Pesach, they have to prepare for Pesach, and they have to make sure that they are ready to be a Jew. Don't celebrate Pesach for the first time after your conversion. Why? Because most likely you're going to get a Yisur Karet.

17:41Violate Pesach if you eat chametz or something like that. It's a big deal. It's a killer Shabbat. It's one of the 36 sins. So know what you're doing. B'ezrat Hashem, tomorrow Bli Neder, I will publicize what I was trying to do yesterday and today and just never got a chance to. There are a couple of rabbinical organizations, one in Chicago and one in New Jersey, that publicize lists. Of all the things that you need to know about Pesach, as far as what to buy, which products you need to be worried about, ensuring that they are kosher for Pesach, and which products don't require kosher for Pesach certification, and which products you're not allowed to buy at all, it's essential to pay close attention. . Cleaning, for example, a lot of people spend an enormous amount of time, you know, cleaning things because they think, you know, they listen to people who don't know much. So, for example, there's one particular video that I saw where the guy was telling people that they should clean the rubber bands inside their dishwasher. This is nonsense. Chametz is something that would be...

18:53Something that a dog would eat if you would find it. Okay, so if you have, let's say, pita, even if it's old, a dog finds it, it'll eat it. Why? Because it's edible. But if the pita is full of mold, it's no longer considered pita; it's considered garbage, even a dog wouldn't eat it. Needless to say, if there is, let's say, a piece of pita or some type of bread inside your dishwasher... run it one time. There's so much soap and chemicals on this bread that it's no longer considered bread; it's considered garbage. You don't have to worry about it. Obviously, people are not leaving their dishwashers with entire challahs inside, but the point here is that people who tell you to start cleaning the rubber bands inside the dishwasher are just driving you crazy. A lot of things are much easier than people would imagine. However, don't wait until Thursday to do it either. Okay, give yourself some time again, everybody, depending on your household, but know that there are things to do as far as kashering, as far as utensils and things of that nature. My recommendation—not obligation, just my recommendation—is, if you have the money, buy new stuff. Just use it for Pesach.

20:14If you have the money, buy a pot, buy, you know, plastic forks and knives, plastic plates, you know, pots, pans. Today, you could buy a whole set of pots and pans for $30 or $40. Take them to the mikveh, and then you don't have to worry about performing libun or hagalah, all types of kashering processes like these, if you have the money. If you don't have the money, then you need to know how to kasher the ones that you've been using all year for Pesach. you have to not use it. The simple rule of thumb is that the way it absorbs the chametz is the way you have to remove the chametz. Meaning, if let's say, for example, you have a certain grill, and you cooked dry food on it, and Let's say you put steaks on it and things of that nature. Okay, so the way to kasher this grill is the same way it absorbed the chametz, which is by fire. The way to make it kosher is by using fire; you have to do libun. Usually, before Pesach, every kehillah has at least one or two people that have these tools. On the other hand, if you have a pot and...

21:28You cook, let's say, soups and stews in it. The way it absorbed the chametz is through liquid. So, the way you would make it kosher is through liquid, where you would put this pot into a pot of boiling water. But it has to be done all at once by someone who actually knows how to do this. Don't try to do this if this is the first time you're even learning these halachot. Don't do this yourself. To the key, usually, most of the time it's free. Sometimes, you know, you give them a little tip or something like that. But the point is, make sure that your house is kosher if you can afford it. Like I said, have a set specifically just for Pesach. I mean, again, you don't necessarily need a whole kitchen just for Pesach. It's just, you know, pots and pans. It's, I don't know, a $50 investment or something. As far as the food, I'll send out the list, please. The coming and going next time, tell him if he's coming in, he has to stay. If he's going, he has to stay. Please, the coming and going you have to stop, okay? So if you're coming, stay; if you're going, stay. Because I have no idea how much focus you have to have to actually speak in front of people.

22:50Unlike you, you're looking in one way, you just see one person. I see everybody, I see everything that's going on. So when you move, I see it, and it takes my attention away from what I'm thinking. So, the... The key is to make sure your house is kosher. You have all the things. I'll publish the list, the two lists, the Ashkenazi list and the Sephardi list tomorrow, B'ezrat Hashem. Review it. This is a good shopping list to have. And B'ezrat Hashem, this will give you some guidance on what to do, how to do it, and so on.