Pgam HaBrit/Wasting Seed Q&A and FIREY DEBATE

0:15Welcome everybody, thank you all for coming. It is really my honor and pleasure to sit next to and stand next to my dear friend Rabbi Yaron Reuven, who has been involved in the Kiruv world for quite a few years and has, Baruch Hashem, an extremely high success rate. And it's really a zechut that I have that I could stand next to him and I could speak about a topic that is very interesting, which not too many people speak about in English. In Hebrew, you have quite a few. But in English, for some reason, people don't speak about it. And I was wondering why. It's very interesting because, usually, what do people speak about? People speak about topics that will bring them, let's say, when they post lectures online, something that would give them, you know, good views. Maybe a lot of people would listen to it, and they'll be able to do a lot of kiruv with it, a lot of chizuk with it. What's interesting is that there are so many people interested in this topic. So many! It's one of the most popular shiurim online, and yet...

1:15Even more so, I have had so many people personally email me that they did teshuvah because of the classes we gave on this topic. Now, I still don't understand why people—Is it an uncomfortable topic? Yeah, maybe it's a little bit uncomfortable. Maybe it's the type of personality you need to be able to speak about this. But when you think about the importance of something—and that's really what I want to go through—to understand the importance of it, the way that I like to break this up, because we're each going to speak for a short period of time, and then we're going to open up for a Q&A. The way that I like to break this up is really into two different categories. Number one, to show the importance and severity of this. And number two, once you know the importance and the severity of it, then you can figure out, okay, now what's my way of correcting it? If you don't know that something is bad, then why would you ever change it? We've had this time and time again where people say, "What's wrong with it?" If you grow up in the secular world, not only do people tell you that it's not wrong, they tell you that it's healthy, that you're supposed to do it, it's great.

2:17Side always changes also. Just look at my famous example of where to put a baby. The back, the side, I don't know why I'm looking at this side. This is the only side that's gonna actually know what I'm talking about. But if you know, if you put the baby on the back, you put the baby on the side, and they're always switching. First the back, then the side, then the stomach, and it's always switching. Somebody who's always flip-flopping, why do we always run to them the second that they give a, you know, an answer about something and be like, ah, it's healthy. No, no, no, wait, it's not healthy. Cigarettes used to be healthy also. So, the thing that we have to understand... Step one is, what is the significant issue in this matter of wasting food? What is the significance of this? So, this morning when I woke up, we saw an email, and I saw Rabbi Rubin already answered it. People ask the question, "Is this really a modest topic to discuss in a class?" I want to share with you something I saw. Rabbi Rubin already answered it, and I want to quote, word for word, what Rabbi Aharon Kotler says.

3:17He says, there are many people who refrain from speaking about these things under the pretext of modesty. And he says, may Heaven help us in such a fallen generation as ours, where everything is exposed without shame in the open, to speak about holiness and modesty. This is considered an affront to modesty. Can there be a greater deception and part of the evil inclination than this? He says, on the contrary, it is an absolute obligation to speak about these matters in public. Again, I ask, why are not more people speaking about this? The Pele Yoetz goes on and says that The main reason, and I think this is really the main reason why people do anything bad in general, sin-wise, is that it's ignorance. People don't know the severity of it. If somebody goes and understands the severity of something, they will refrain from doing it. If you go to a certain country and they tell you if you do X, your punishment is $5, but if you do Y, your punishment is 20 years in prison, you will understand the difference in severity and act accordingly. Now, if you realize, OK, I would rather mess up in X than mess up in Y, because Y is more significant. The punishment is more severe. So when you understand the severity of it, it's easier to start fixing this type of aveirah.

4:23And it's very unfortunate. Ever since I gave this last class on this topic, I've gotten so many responses. And I said this before, but now I can say it with even stronger conviction. People think that it's only with single people that this is a problem. It's not true. It's single, it's married, it's divorced, and everybody in between has problems with this thing. Let's start off with the halacha. Very simple, basic halacha. It says like this. It says, it's forbidden to go and waste seed in vain. And this is the worst. Maybe you didn't hear me. This is the worst sin in the entire Torah. So when you think about something like this, it should maybe ring a little bit of a bell. Be like, you know, well, maybe I should look into this. Maybe if this is a problem, let me see what I can do to change it. You don't want to be the one that does the worst sin in the Torah. But Rav Moshe Feinstein also says, he brings it down, that this is a sin from the Torah. Not that it makes a difference. The Rabbi said people, you know, they come and say, you know, this is not allowed, like rabbinical or...

5:38or biblical. I'm like, what's the difference? What's the difference? But even if you want to say, this is a biblical sin, this is a sin that's severe. And the punishment is, it's death from the hands of Heaven. This is not a light, maybe you guys didn't realize, this is not going to be a light class, right? This is going to be some heavy-duty information that will be going on. Rabbi Yaakov Abuhatzeira. A big, big, big, big mekubal, ancestor of the Baba Sali. He goes and he says, the parasha of Bechukotai, where it goes and says all the punishments that a person’s going to get if they violate the Torah. You know what it stems from? It all stems from the transgression of the brit. The transgression of the sin of wasting seed. That’s what it all stems from. In fact, the Zohar says it again, that all the troubles that befall a person are caused by this sin. So this, right away, I could stop this class within the first two minutes, and it should already be enough. But let's go on a little bit more. The Zohar says that the flood, the generation of the flood, it was only sealed. It was only sealed for destruction once they committed the sin of wasting seed on the ground. Otherwise, they still had some hope. This is where it gets a little bit interesting, where people like the Kabbalistic stuff, the demons.

6:50The Zohar says this. The Zohar brings it down. It says this in numerous places. Demons—we're not going to get into it. I have a whole class on it and what it means regarding the demons and what it is for nowadays. But when the Kabbalah tells you something about demons, it's not something that I'd be like, well, OK, I'll try it out, see how it goes. Maybe we'll make a friend. Maybe I'll get that. It doesn't work that way. The majority of a person's troubles and suffering stem from sins that, because of the demons, were created from those sins. Now, the Zohar goes and says that the demons, the demons, let's go a little bit back. The takanah was instituted in order to prevent this type of problem from coming. And it says that the takanah was instituted because of the Erev Rav. It was because of the Erev Rav. Who are the people that tell you that it's okay to do this? It's not a problem. Even according to the Torah, it's okay. These are the people that call themselves, you know, I'm sure that no one here, everyone even knows about these rabbis that say, you know, like it's okay. It's not a problem. It's healthy. The Torah didn't really mean that.

7:56this, they start giving all these arguments, against the Zohar, against the Gemara, against everything else. They go and say, this is, when you speak about the Erev Rav, the people that manipulate the Torah, the people that don't tell you what it is—the requirement and the obligation of the Torah—those are people that go and they decide to be reformed. You don't have to be called reformed to be a reformed person. You go and you change it based on your own, I don't know, free will, intuition, whatever mood you're in. says that somebody who commits this sin and does not do teshuva. By the way, everything that we're saying tonight is referring to people that do not do teshuva. If you do teshuva, then you're safe from all this. But it says that these types of people do not get resurrected from the dead. There's no techiyat ha'meitim. Also, these types of people bring death and plagues onto the world. This is probably, if you ask me, the scariest part of it. That someone who commits a sin and doesn't do teshuva, his son will be evildoers, and they will come out to be heretics, koferim, reformers, and atheists. That's what's going to be of this person's children. Now, I don't know, as a father, I don't know how many people here are parents, but when you hear that your children are going to be affected by it, if you love your child, you will think twice about this. And if you don't have children, then think about your future children.

9:15The Gemara Niddah says that it's considered as if somebody went and spilled blood. Murder. It is considered murder. In fact, the Zohar says that this is even worse than murder. Murder, you usually go and murder other people's children. Here you're murdering your own children. It's your own children. We'll soon see how this works out. The Gemara Niddah also says it is as if you served Avodah Zarah. Furthermore, your soul goes into waste. This person never leaves Gehinnom. There are plenty and plenty of sufferings that come from this. The mazal, the mazal of a person, mazal in Hebrew is מזל. What does it stand for? The Gemara tells us it stands for מזלות. I speak a lot to the Russian crowd, and they are very, very into mazal. Shabbat is not as important as mazal, you know? They say, "Wait a minute, is this segulah for parnassah?" And I respond, "Yeah, but you don't keep Shabbat." They reply, "Yeah, but what about the salt that's on the table? Like, this is gonna give me parnassah. Shabbat? Nah, nah, nah, don't worry about it. The salt, that's what's gonna give me money." You want to know something? You want good mazal? You want good luck? It's a terrible translation, but you want good luck. It destroys your luck. It destroys what you have. Even if you have something good, you're destroying it. The Rokeach brings down that somebody who is regularly guilty of this has a very, very big problem with anything that he does. He's not going to have success. Not going to have success in all this. And this is said numerous, numerous times. If you want to know something that brings you into poverty, makes you lose money,

10:42It's this, wasting seed. Now, the Chafetz Chaim goes and says, he speaks to a lot of people about this, especially more in the modern world. They don't want to get married yet. Why? They're not established yet. They don't have parnasa, they don't have money yet. They want to wait until they get married and have a successful business, become multi-billionaires, have a jet, a yacht, and everything else in between. Until then, they're waiting. Meanwhile, they're 30, 40 years old, no one's interested anymore, and they've still, you know, broken the bank. The Chafetz Chaim says, he says, your gains are offset by your losses. Because when you're single, and you cannot avoid this sin, and you're falling into this sin, then what are you? You're not getting anywhere. You're running around in a circle. You want parnasa, but you're losing the parnasa. You want to get married young. Obviously, you have to be mature enough. There's a whole discussion that has to be, you know, just in a separate topic on that. But if somebody goes and thinks, "I'm not going to get married yet because I don't have a parnasa," you're going to lose it yourself. You're just going to lose the parnasa by the sins that you do when you're single. Probably the most powerful thing that you could say, and I know I'm going to say that again and again, in regard to this, is imagine every time someone does a sin, you lose 10 grand from your bank. Imagine that. Now, even if you want to say, even if you want to say, ah, all this Kabbalah, I don't know if I believe in it, that's so severe, and so that...

12:01When it comes to money, people are very particular. Very, very particular. You go and you get to speak to a lot of people. When it comes to money, everything is like, wait a minute, they'll do anything they can in order not to lose money. Maybe this is going to give me bad luck. So even if you want to say, no, I'm telling you it's 100% true, you can take it to the bank. This is what the Sages tell us. There's no way. This is written in numerous, numerous sources. But even if you're one of those types of people that always has doubts and questions about the possibility of maybe, maybe, maybe this is not true, would you want to take that risk? Would you want to take that risk of everything that I just said? Is it worth it? Is it worth it for you, for a few moments of pleasure, to go and destroy your entire future? Is it? Think about that for a second. The Shaar HaKavanot goes and says that each drop of semen has a soul attached to it. And the Kaf HaChaim says there is no other sin other than this that creates as many demons as this. And I'm not going to quote you the Zohar because we're short on time, but if you want to know the amount of... it's a lot, a lot of bad stuff happens with this sin.

13:08The flip side, the power of somebody who refrains from this sin, somebody who goes and fixes himself on this sin, somebody that goes and is able to refrain from falling into the sin, will merit to have holy children that are also careful in this, that are also careful in the sin. Page 19a says Avraham Avinu goes and he takes the people out of Gehenom, out of hell, for the people that are careful and don't fall into this sin. Can you imagine how much protection, just like it's so bad, you should also know anything that's so bad, the flip side, the power is so significant as well. When Moshiach comes, the people, you know, we hope that Moshiach should come very, very soon and it shouldn't be as, you know, the amount of troubles that's going to be at the end of the days. Because if we do teshuva, it will be easy, it will be good. But if chas v'shalom, when Moshiach comes, and it's going to be very bad, the people that are shomer habrit, they get saved from this. Now, the Torah doesn't tell you this about every sin. Specific sins have specific powers.

14:10The Zohar says that there's a certain angel by the name of Dumah that goes and oversees Gehenom, hell. And if somebody is very, very careful in this sin, they don't have the jurisdiction to do what they would like to with this type of soul. So you're gaining protection. You're gaining parnassah. You're gaining everything. And what are you risking everything for? A few moments of pleasure. A few moments of pleasure. The... There's furthermore, the Chazal tell us that somebody who's careful in this, somebody who goes and is able to refrain from this, is in a constant state of happiness. And now, day and age, anything that could bring you happiness, trust me, I speak to a lot of people, and I'm sure that Rabbi Reuven can attest to this, the number one question that I get is always about depression, sadness, and anxiety, all these psychological issues. Now, even though the possibility of this helping you, even one-tenth, people go and they're doing homeopathic treatments and they're going far and wide, you have over here a known segulah. You want to be happy? Refrain from this sin. Refrain from this sin.

15:21think about something like this. A lot of this, you know, it's hard for somebody to go and think about in the practical sense. Let's talk a little bit about the practical sense and what will make a difference in your day-to-day life. When somebody goes and—let's explain this—I think this is the easiest way to explain it. In Heaven, you have a meter. Everybody has a bunch of meters. A bunch of meters regarding all the things. How much money you're going to make, how much health you're going to have, how much parnassah you have, I believe the Baal Shem Tov brings it down. How much, you know, nachat ruach, everything is full of meters. And you have a certain amount. Everybody has a certain amount, like they do in the video games. You know, you have certain ammunition. You have certain health. You have certain whatever else that you have. Shield, I don't know. It's been a while. But, you know, you have all these things. The pleasure that you have will be coming to you. You have two ways of getting it. You could get it legally, or you could get it illegally. And I think this is probably the most powerful way that can refrain you from going and prevent you from doing this sin. Because you think about it like this: if somebody goes and takes a pleasure, you know what? Let's speak about money. Money is the easiest way to understand it.

16:30Let's say that year, God said on Rosh Hashanah, this person's gonna make $10 million. And this person, very money hungry, he's hustling and dealing, and then he comes across a deal, and this deal is not kosher, not even by the tiniest bit. And he's thinking about it, and he says, listen, I could make $10 million from this deal. He's like, should I do it? It's really not right, I'm a good Jew, I don't know why I should do it, I shouldn't do it. Then he goes and he decides, you know what, I'll do it, I can't, the temptation's too great. He goes, he gets the deal, he steals the $10 million, and he gets away with it. Now, when he goes, first of all, the fact that he got away with it just means it's temporary, because he's always looking over his back. The IRS, the FBI, anybody else in between—depending on how he made the money—he's always looking over his shoulder. The second there's a siren, he's jumping. His heart rate is going up. He's not enjoying the money as if he had done it legally and kosher. So imagine he goes after 120. He's sitting on his deathbed, and he sees about that one big sin that he did, that $10 million deal. I mean, that made him. He was able to invest in real estate, and he made it after that. And he's thinking about it. He says, you know what? It was a bad thing, but look at me. I built an empire from it. You know what? It was worth it. He gets up to Shamayim after 120. You know what God's going to tell him?

17:43He's going to tell him, "You fool! You were going to get that $10 million either way. You had an option: you were going to get it legally or illegally. Now that you got it illegally, you are punished for it in this world because you're always looking over your shoulder. You couldn't enjoy the money. You couldn't enjoy the pleasures that it gave. And now you're going to lose it in the next world. If you have the ability to do something, you can enjoy it here and there. You cannot steal something that is coming to you. You cannot steal pleasure. If you take it illegally, it's going to go away from you the legal way. So imagine you're single, and you're going and you're committing this type of sin." And if you're committing the sin, you are stealing from the pleasure that you're going to have with your wife when you get married. The same thing goes on the flip side. If a woman goes and dresses immodestly, when a woman dresses immodestly, the guys go and they look. They shouldn't, but they look. So she's getting a little bit of pleasure from guys looking. Maybe, maybe not. Okay, we're not going to get into that. I know it's a very sensitive subject, you know, women dressing for women and, you know, whatever it is. We're not going to get into that. But the bottom line is this is what happens. It happens. The guys go and get the wrong pleasure from it. And they go, and they, you know, they appreciate it. What is that takeaway? There is a certain amount of people who are going to appreciate this beauty. Is it going to be random people in the street? Is it going to be Julio and Jesus? Or is it going to be a husband? Who do you want? Who do you want to go and appreciate your beauty? You have a certain middah. You want...

19:00Take it from the kosher way. You don't want to steal from yourself. You're stealing from yourself. You can get a portion of fear in this world and the next world. Now I'm going to ask you, what's the purpose of it? Is it worth it? Is it good? Is it beneficial? If you think about it, everything in life, you have to think about it logically. Not emotionally. Logically. When you think about things logically, it comes in a different perspective. Is this the right choice? Should I do this or should I not? Is it going to benefit me or is it going to cause me a loss? Oh, but I'll have some pleasure in it right now? OK, you want to be smart. Any smart businessman knows that they don't jump on every little deal that maybe will make them money. They go and they do things very methodically. They do a lot of research. And they go and they say, is this going to give me money or is this going to make me lose money? Oh, what about in five years? What do good businessmen do? They go and they wait for the big deal that's going to pay off even in 15, 20 years. They'll wait. They'll wait because they know that this is going to be worth it. So now we have to figure out, now that we understand the severity of it, We have to go and have to try to figure out what is the teshuva? Let's say somebody messed this up already. Let's say somebody did it. They didn't dress modestly. They did this with the sin of wasting seed when they were younger. How do they fix it now? Now, before I get into this, I have to, you know, this is a question that I get quite often, that the Zohar says something very scary. The Zohar says in Parshat Vayechi that teshuva will not help for this sin. So they say, what's the point?

20:22I'm a done deal. You ever had someone tell you this? I'm going to Gehinnom anyways. What's the big deal? That person has to be locked up in a mental institution, the people that say that. It's like a person that accidentally taps a cop as he's walking, and he says, well, I already touched the cop. Might as well kill him. Might as well just go on a killing spree. What does one thing have to do with another? You know, just because you're going there, you're already thinking, "Oh, the finger is bleeding, might as well take off the whole hand." Like, where is the logic behind that? Where is the logic? So when you go and you hear something like this, the Zohar says that there's no teshuvah there, what are you going to do? It's depressing. It's like, it's done. It's a done deal. So, I want to share with you, this is the problem when people go, they don't learn anything of anything, they start learning Kabbalah and they don't know what it means. They have to go and you have to learn from your rabbis, you have to learn from the big tzaddikim. In order to understand, people don't understand the Gemara, they're learning first the Zohar. They're learning first the Shelah HaKadosh, they're learning first the Sefer HaAri, and then they go and they don't even know how to read and they're reading all the Kabbalot, all the Sefirot and everything. Like, where are you going? You don't know what you're talking about. How are you going to understand something if you don't understand the basics? So,

21:30The Shelah HaKadosh says that a person should not fall into despair if they fell into sin. And he goes and quotes his father, saying that in the generation of the flood, they committed the sin. But yet, what did HaKadosh Baruch Hu tell Noach? He says build it slowly, the ark, for 120 years. Why? If there's no way of doing teshuva, done, pshalas, finish, finish with them already. Why are you going and destroying them now? So the answer is because Hashem wanted them to do teshuva. Ah, but they did a sin that has no teshuva. The answer is there is a teshuva, but we have to understand what this means. Rav Chaim Kanievsky was also asked this question, and he says, of course, teshuva helps. Rav Chaim Vital, I want to share with you, Rav Chaim Vital, he goes and he says, and he explains like this. He goes and says, all sins have, when you do teshuva, you get help, you get assistance from Hashem to do this teshuva. This sin, you don't have assistance. Meaning, what does it mean that there's no repentance for this? Meaning that there's no assistance to repent for this. Meaning that it's difficult. Yeah. It is difficult to do this teshuva. It is. It's a process. And you ask anybody that has ever started this, it's an up and down fight. It's a battle. But that means that's the way that it's supposed to be. That doesn't mean that there's no teshuva in this. That means that there's no assistance in this teshuva. The Baal HaTanya...

22:45goes and says that what it means is, he goes and explains the Zohar, that it says that when it means no repentance, it means that generally you could get repentance if you have fear of punishment and you do the teshuva based off the fear of punishment, you'll be able to suffice with that to a certain level. Obviously, you have teshuva me'ahavah, teshuva me'yirah, whatever, we're not going to get into that. But over here, you need to have a higher level of repentance. In order to be successful in this, to have a true repentance, it has to be from ahavah. It has to come from love. So now the question is, how to do it? How are you supposed to do teshuva? I have to first start off with saying, the basic teshuva is a very, very simple teshuva. Number one, stop doing it. Number two, regret. You have to regret it. Number three is, you confess it to HaKadosh Baruch Hu. You don't have to go to, if you want, obviously direction, you go to a rabbi, but you don't have to say, you know, rabbi, I've sinned, you know, like, you don't have to get... If you want to, it's good and it's more beneficial because the rabbi could direct you. But what you have to confess is you have to go and talk to HaKadosh Baruch Hu. But now, I have many, many people. They come to me again and again. There's a question that, again, I want to answer now.

23:58I try. I do teshuvah, I do this, I do that, and I still fall. It's not helping. They say they do everything. They do kriyat Shema, they cover the feet, they say they do everything of everything. But there's one thing that they always leave out. And that is what the Mishnah Berurah says. To atone for the sin, one has to increase in his limud Torah. You have to increase the learning Torah. I've yet to have somebody who says, "I failed, and I cannot do teshuvah on it, and I even learned Torah." I always look for that. Someone tells me, "Oh, I tried to do this sin. I did everything." They list everything. I never find that in the list. You have to increase your limud Torah. That is one of the most important aspects of this sin, and I will explain why. The Chofetz Chaim goes, And he says that improper thoughts are only found in the heart without Torah. If somebody doesn't have Torah, then of course he will have improper thoughts. Someone could go and be careful and watch that he doesn't look at bad things. He could be very busy and say, but if he doesn't have Torah in his mind, then guess what? Thoughts are going to pop in. The Steipler goes and says as well, the Steipler goes and says that if you want to know how to overcome this, delve into the Torah. The Ishla also says that the sin of this deals in the machshava, it deals in the thought. The superficial teshuva on it, the simple basic teshuva, is not going to help. You have to go and you have to increase in your Torah. The sefer Iggeres HaGra goes and says, what type of Torah do you have to do? You have to do something that's going to make you sweat.

25:17Something that's going to make you think. You open up a Gemara. You open up something that you're going to concentrate on. In fact, the Steipler says you have to go into every little detail of it. When you're delving into it, that's how it's going to fix it. That's how it's going to fix this sin. It's also very important to study with a partner. Study with a partner. You don't realize, even if you know how to read Hebrew and you're just reading English, the benefit of studying with someone else. You can bounce ideas back and forth. You read a paragraph. It helps so much. You're able to comprehend something so much more. You're able to understand something to a different level when you're teaching it to somebody or when somebody is explaining it to you. You get two different viewpoints on it. When Rav Chaim Volozhin goes and brings down "Nefesh HaChaim," there's no other cure to be saved from the Yetzer Hara other than learning Torah. The Zohar in Parashat Vayeishev also goes and says that the way to get rid of impure thoughts is only through learning the Torah. So, when you think about this, if you really want to succeed in this, You do the three basic levels of Teshuvah: stop doing the sin, regret it, and then confess it to HaKadosh Baruch Hu. And then you go, your next and most important thing is you go and you're learning Torah. You're keeping your mind engaged. You know what type of level you have to have? That it's constantly, always on your mind. Meaning that you finish learning, you know, sitting in this class tonight, right? And you're walking home. So what is on your mind?

26:30you're looking, you're spacing out, you listen to whatever it is, you know, listen to acapella music or a different class, right? You probably listen to another shiur a lot, but if you think about it, what is on your mind when you're not doing anything? Have you ever realized that if you break it down, the scariest part, the scariest thing to do is do a cheshbon hanefesh? What did you accomplish that day? Yeah, I was running back and forth, and I did this, I did that, but like, if you think about it, what was your thought process? Take it to a deeper level: what were you thinking about today? Majority of the time, you'll be like, I have probably nothing. I don't know, nothing. What was I thinking about? I mean, that's this side of the room. I know this side of the room always has a bunch of thoughts in their mind. It's like 10,000 things. Men don't think about anything. But when you think about it, what were you doing? So it's nice. You are learning. You are working. But what were you doing in your mind? What was going on in your mind? Were you spacing out? And that's a scary thought. That's something that's very scary to think about. Like, what am I going to gain? Where am I? Where am I holding? The Steipler Gaon brings down that the way that, you know, people very easily get.

27:39discouraged from this type of thing. They try, and then they go for like a week, and then they fall. And then they go for nine days, and then they fall. And then they go for ten, you know, and then they fall. It says this type of going. It says success breeds success. This is anything in life. The more that you try, you fall, you get back up again. You keep on trying, and you keep on trying, eventually you'll be successful. You follow these steps, you'll be successful. But if Aharon Roth goes and says, a very important thing, you know, when you have a difficult test, this is both for men and women. Let's say a man goes and sees an immodest woman walking down the street and he has to focus on his eyes. During that time that you're overcoming that test, that's the time that you can ask for anything. A woman has a very hard time, it's very hot, you know, and she goes and dresses modestly, that's a mitzvah every second. She could go and constantly pray to God. Constantly, you're on a high level. Whenever you pass a test, you're on a very high level. And at that point, you have the ability to connect to God like you have never had before. Utilize that. Why is it so unbeneficial? Because the hardest part is, let's say there's an immodest person coming towards you. And by the way, how do you know that this is also in the secular world and also in the religious world? It's the same problem. You go and you see a non-Jewish person or a secular Jew, doesn't matter, walking with his girlfriend, his wife, doesn't matter. Would you want him looking at another woman?

28:49Answer is, in any normal marriage, in any normal relationship, we'll say absolutely not. Why? If it's not a problem, then why does she care? If it is a problem, then let's try to think for a second. Why is this a problem? Is it a problem if she's here or if she's not here? If you think about it, people say, oh, it's a religious fanatic. It's all this nonsense. But wait a minute. When a rabbi tells you that it's not allowed, then it's a fanatic. But when your wife tells you it's not allowed or your girlfriend tells you it's not allowed, why is it different all of a sudden? No girl would want to see her man checking out other women. Nobody, nobody who’s normal would want that. So then it makes you think for a second. If it's not good here and it's not good there, maybe it's not good. Maybe I should stop doing this. And what do you gain from it? What do you gain, and this is the new terminology, it's called eye candy. What do you gain from this? Eye candy. Eye candy. Eye candy. Candy for the eye. Instead of going to the dentist, the dentist is... This is a very hot place. When you go and think about it, it destroys your relationship. By the way, this goes for men and women. If a man goes and looks at other women, then it's going to make his wife look less attractive. Simple common sense. The more that you look, the more you desensitize, the more problems you're going to have with your wife.

30:03And the woman also. The woman goes and looks at other men. She's going to see her husband as less attractive because they start comparing. This is all subconscious, by the way. All subconscious. And if you think about it, the people that I speak to personally that have problems, let's say, in marriage. And one of the things that come up is, "I'm not so attracted to my wife anymore." That's what they tell me. My first question is, "How are you in guarding your eyes?" I've yet to have somebody that said he's not attracted to his wife, and he guards his eyes. This is a whole class in itself. You want to know how to make your wife more... I think I titled it, "How to Make Your Wife More Attractive Without Plastic Surgery." It's called guarding your eyes. I can guarantee you 100% that this will work. I can guarantee it. I can guarantee it. So... The women don't have to lose weight. Men just have to watch their eyes. That's as far as it needs to go. And the second that you do that, so many problems are avoided. So many problems. Secular, not secular, Jewish, doesn't matter. This works for everybody. The Rambam goes and says that what is very important is also your friends. Who do you hang out with?

31:18People who hang out with people, this is not a problem. Women who hang out with women who always dress immodestly, you get influenced by it. The Rambam says that it causes such a tremendous downfall; there are so many people who have fallen because of their acquaintances, because of their friends. You are who your friends are. Now, when thinking about schools for my children, one of the things I'm very focused on is not just how great the rebbeim are and how great the teachers are—that's all very important—but I think one of the most important things is who are the children in the school. What type of people are they? What type of parents do they have? How are they going to grow up? Obviously, you never know, but it's very, very important. If a child goes and hangs around a group of friends that are drug addicts, then it's very, very likely... not automatic, then there would also be that. If somebody goes and hangs around friends that do this sin, then they'll also do it. If a woman hangs around a friend that all dress immodestly, then it affects you. It affects you. There's peer pressure, even subconsciously. It affects you. That's why you have to be careful where you live. You have to be careful who you hang out with. You have to be careful who you associate with. Who's your rabbi also? I'm getting a little bit late, so I'm going to wrap it up.

32:28A few very quick points and additional things to help you overcome this. Very important, pray. You pray and you pray and you pray to help yourself avoid the sin. For women also, women that want to be modest, it's a very difficult test. It's a very difficult test. I don't know from it, but I know that it's difficult. It's a very, very difficult test to be modest. Pray. Pray that you need assistance. Men, pray that you have assistance with this. And not only that, the... The Chatam Sofer says that tears are very important when you pray to make a kaparah for the sin. Says the Chatam Sofer, the sin originates in the thought, right behind the tear ducts. So it's one hot drop for another hot drop. It's a kaparah, it's an atonement when you cry to God begging for forgiveness, begging that He should help avoid this type of sin, begging that He should go and help with watching your eyes. All this is a very, very important concept. The Kav HaYashar in chapter 22 says that there are many sins that, you know, show on the face in black fire. That's what you have when you go to the big Kabbalah. Some people, they wear their hat really down. They don't want the rabbi to look at their face and see all their sins. You know, they go and they cover it. They don't want to go at all. Usually, says the Kav HaYashar, when someone does teshuvah, the sin gets erased.

33:35But when you do this sin, it doesn't get erased when you do teshuvah. You have to also go to the mikvah. You have to also go and dip. And how many times? It says you dip at least twice. Number one, to remove the impurity, and the second time is to draw holiness. On Shabbat, you dip a third time as well in the holiness of Shabbat. The Arizal also says that sweat, when you do a mitzvah and you're sweating, is also beneficial. You learn Torah and you're sweating. What is the highest level here? You're tzanuah and you're sweating. It's hard for you. You're sweating. You don't know how much atonement you're getting from that. Also, it's very important that you stay, you know, the Chazal tell us that when someone starves this organ, it becomes weaker. The more that you give in, the stronger it is that you are. And this is something that is tried and tested. You have people, and I speak to people, and I can already tell by the beginning, I know already how far they've fallen. If somebody does not hold themselves back from looking at things that they shouldn't look at, wasting seed, it's only a matter of time where one seed, especially if they're not married, one seed is going to lead to the next, and it's going to be first by themselves, and then with a partner, and then so on. And it gets very twisted out of control until they do the worst things that are in many ways. it becomes weaker. The more that you give in, the stronger it is that you are. And this is something that is tried and tested. You have people, and I speak to people, and I can already tell by the beginning, I know already how far they've fallen. If somebody does not hold themselves back from looking at things that they shouldn't look at, wasting seed, it's only a matter of time where one sin, especially if they're not married, one sin is going to lead to the next, and it's going to be first by themselves, and then with a partner, and then so on. And it gets very twisted out of control until they do the worst things in many ways.

34:45And they fall very deep. I don't want to go into the details of it, but they fall very deep. Somebody who cannot control his ta'avot (desires). It's a downward spiral. So you have to starve your yetzer hara (evil inclination). The biggest instigator in this is the eyes. You have to watch your eyes. You have to guard your eyes. You have to guard your eyes. Also, it's very important to keep busy. People that are bored, nothing good happens when you're bored. You have people, like, why didn't you come to shiur (class) today? I was hanging out. What are we doing the whole day? No, I need to relax. From what? You don't work. I'm like, they go, they don't work. They don't go to college. They don't do anything. And then at night, they go and they hang out with a friend. I need to relax. From what? What stress do you have that you're doing it? You're relaxing from relaxing. You go throughout the entire day, accomplish nothing in your life. I hear that. I'm very depressed for that person. I'm like, this is such a shame. You're someone that literally does nothing with their life. Very important, keep busy. Staying busy is very, very important to get to this end. Also, obviously, make fences. If you cannot control yourself with your smartphone, get rid of the smartphone or put a filter on it. Do something that would make every time you get tempted or you fall into this sin, a big penalty. Tzedakah. You give a lot of charity.

35:57And finally, a very important aspect is to push off the sin. Push off the sin. Meaning that if, let's say, we'll go with this both for the man and the woman. Let's say you get really tempted, and you know it's late at night, you're by yourself, and everything is, you know, like it's about to happen. What you need to tell the Satan is this: "Yeah, let's wait five more minutes." Same trick that Satan uses on you. What does Satan use on you? You want to wake up in the morning. What does he tell you? Five more minutes. And then five more minutes later, he tells you, five more minutes. And then five more minutes later, and before you know it, it's 10 o'clock, and you're fired. But you go and you think about it. His tactic is, yeah, yeah, do the mitzvah. Go pray. But wait. Wait a little bit. Do it in five minutes. Do it in ten minutes. So you use his trick against himself. You use his own tactics against himself. Say, yeah, five minutes. Think about it. This thing is brilliant. It works in everything. If you want to get angry, or you're really going to say, you know what? I'm going to get angry, but in five minutes. It's going to change you. It's going to be crazy. Let's say somebody bought a dress, and the dress is not modest. I say, you know what? In five minutes, I'll think about it.

37:02Tomorrow. Not that you should wear it tomorrow, but I'm saying, I'm not wearing it today. Like, I'm pushing this off. I'm pushing this off. You know, I've had this more than once where I've had to give a class about modesty, and some woman had immodest clothes, and I even showed it in one of my classes. I had a woman come and bring me a whole bag of immodest clothes. So if anybody wants something, show me in the back for a solid $5. No, I'm just kidding. So you burn it. This is what you do when you can't control yourself. You build a fence. How do you build a fence? Get rid of it. This is a promise. You do not lose out by listening to God. You do not lose out by listening to God. That's a guarantee. You don't lose out by doing good. So I beg of you, this type of class, it's important that you hear the things again and again and again and again. The way it works with inspiration is you get inspired and then you forget about it a few days later. This is the type of class that you have to listen to again and again. You do more research on it. You learn more about it. The more that you learn about tzniut, the more you learn about modesty, the more you have the ability to overcome it. It's something that you need to constantly review, just like emunah. You have to constantly review it, and nowadays, in this age, it's a very, very big temptation. So you have to constantly listen to this, and if you hear the things again and again, great. In fact, you should listen to this a thousand times. Read everything up on it. Learn; the more you learn about it, the more success you will have. B’chavod. B’chavod. B’chavod. B’chavod. B’chavod. B’chavod. B’chavod. B’chavod.

38:32He said, it's an honor to be next to me. It's my kavod, it's my zechut to be next to him. What a lot of people don't know about Rabbi Zitron is that Rabbi Zitron is behind the scenes of a lot of things that happen in the kiruv world that you don't even know happen. So, was it three, four years ago? Was it your cousin or your nephew? My brother-in-law. Your brother-in-law. Yeah. I don't know, contacts me and he asks me to come to New York to give a shiur about my personal story. And we ended up doing a shiur about that, and also about wasting seed. And it was actually here, here in this place. And Baruch Hashem, we've been doing kiruv for five, six years now. We have, I don't know how many lectures. Baruch Hashem, lots of hours, lots of movies, lots of ba'alei teshuva. But by far, the two most popular lectures, tens of thousands of views, Hashem only knows how many ba'alei teshuva we have had with those two shiurim in the same trip that Rabbi Zitron set up. So, the funny thing is that when somebody wants to do kiruv, somebody wants to bring HaKadosh Baruch Hu's children back home, he doesn't need to have all the money in the world. He doesn't need to have all the wisdom in the world. Not that he doesn't have, but the point is he doesn't need to have all of the things that people think you need to have. What does he need to have?

40:01needs to have two things. One, he needs to have the desire. The desire to go save little babies. Hashem's little babies. Sometimes those babies are 55 years old and they're looking a little ugly, but they're still Hashem's babies. Sometimes they're cute two-year-olds. All types of shapes and sizes. You have an interest in saving HaKadosh Baruch Hu's little babies. That's number one. Number two, you have to have merit. You have to have merit. People think it's a joke. You have to have merit to do this mitzvah. Now, my shiurim, Baruch Hashem, over the last few years, we try to bring constantly new information. When I first did the shiur about wasting seed, it was in Florida. It was a 45-minute shiur, and then we tried to do a shiur here for almost three hours, but since then we've done several other shiurim about the topic. I think we have something like maybe 20 hours' worth of shiurim about wasting seed, Gemar HaBrit. And we talk about the topic extensively. I have all types of people from all over the world, whether they're completely secular, religious, Avreichim, Rabbis, Talmidei Chachamim,

41:24people that don't know their right from their left, people that know their right from their left but didn't know about this, all types of people from all walks of life, Jews, non-Jews, male, female, all types of people are interested in this topic. One of the reasons is because we see that the world that we live in today is upside down. For anyone that sees clearly, you see that the world is upside down. Immodesty has become the norm. Your average 9, 10, 11-year-old girl walks around the streets in underwear. And the reason why she does it is because her mother is also walking around in underwear. When I was a kid, you used to wear clothes. Today, they wear underwear. That's what they go outside with. And they call it normal. Why? It's what everybody goes around with. Yes, everybody goes around like that. You should watch my shiur about Gehinnom, see what happens to them. The more you understand what's happening, the scarier the world becomes. People say, "Listen, you know, the last couple of years, you're a lot scarier than you were the first few years." I say, "Yes, the more you learn Torah, the scarier it becomes. The more you learn Torah, the scarier it becomes." So I'm going to tell you a few things that are scary. Not because I want to scare you. Because I have to scare you. I have no pleasure whatsoever in talking about this topic.

42:48But the reality is that from my experience, minimal experience with a lot of people, over the last few years, this is a prophecy that all of the Chachamim already talked about many, many years ago. The Torah itself started with it and ends with it. This is the epidemic of the last generation before Mashiach. Unfortunately, this is such a disaster in the world today that people don't even realize that it's a cancer that's eating the nation. People want to talk about all types of mitzvot, whether it be tzedakah and chesed and lashon hara, and these are all important mitzvot, but there's only one mitzvah. There's only one mitzvah, one for males, one for females, but especially for the males. That if you fulfill it, you can fulfill the entire Torah easily. If you fail at it, you will fail at the entire Torah easily. And that's Gemara B'rit. There are many people that wear a kippah and have a beard much longer than mine. By the way, both of them are free. But the reality is, they waste seed and they don't realize there's anything wrong with it. They've turned the aveirah into a mitzvah.

44:06Most people don't know there's something wrong with it. We've gone to that generation. There are many women that call themselves Rabaniyot, Rabaniyot, but they walk around more immodest than, Hashem yerachem, what you see on TV sometimes. But they call themselves Rabaniyot. People don't understand the right and left. So that's why we have to bring things from the Torah Kedusha that sometimes are a little scary, sometimes are uncomfortable to hear, but they're real. And they're true and we have sources for them. I'll give you a few points just to complete some of the things that have, as it once said. There's a book on our website called "Guarding of the Brit" and "Guarding of Your Eyes." It's free. You can download it for free. I highly recommend you read it at least a hundred times so you can remember it. And he gives you 16 different things, 16 different things, or what happens to somebody that wastes his seed and does not do teshuva.

45:07By the way, everything that I say applies to men and women, not just men. The Ben Ish Chai, alav hashalom, says that a woman, a woman that pleasures herself also creates demons. So don't think that this is just for the men and the women that get out of jail free card. Needless to say, a woman also needs to know that the Mishnah in Avot says, Kol ha-mezakeh et ha-rabim, ein chet ba al yado. Kol ha-machti et ha-rabim... The Mishnah says someone that causes people to do teshuva, Hashem helps them by not bringing them to sin. He gives them special, special assistance and protection not to make big sins. But a person that causes other people to sin, Hashem refrains them from doing teshuva, meaning He puts different obstacles in front of them, making it more difficult for them to do teshuva. When a woman walks around immodestly, she is 100% a partner in every single man that makes a sin as a result of her attraction. Meaning, she walks around in immodest dress, immodest underwear, immodest whatever she's walking around with... Hashem refrains them from doing teshuva, meaning He puts different obstacles in front of them, making it more difficult for them to do teshuva. When a woman walks around immodestly, she is 100% a partner in every single man that makes a sin as a result of her attraction. Meaning, she walks around in an immodest dress, immodest underwear, immodest whatever she's walking around with.

46:24One guy sees her for five, six seconds. Five seconds, six seconds. It doesn't need too much. That's recorded by his neshama for eternity. It's never getting wiped out. Even after he does teshuva, it's never wiped out. It just goes to the back of the memory. That's all it does. It's never wiped out. Anything your eye ever saw is there permanently. So be careful what you look at. Now you saw her, guess when you're going to see her again? There are going to be three places you're going to see this woman. One, in your dreams. Number two, when you're intimate with your wife. Number three, when you're praying to HaKadosh Baruch Hu. The three worst moments in your life. For having a thought of a different person. So now, you made a sin as a result of it, even if it's in your dream. Guess what? You have a cheshbon with Hashem and so does she. How much is the cheshbon? Millions and millions of shedim, demons, and sins that were created as a result of it. The scariness of this cannot be emphasized enough. Put it that way. So, the Admo MiAlmi wrote this, put this together, this book, and he says the following. He says, look at this. Look what this sin does. We already know about this sin from Parashat Bereshit. We know that Adam HaRishon, Adam HaRishon made this sin during the 127 years that he was separated from his wife. He made this sin and he created a lot of demons. Hashem Yirachem.

47:44But we also know this from Parashat Noach. HaKadosh Baruch Hu gave this as one of the seven mitzvot Bnei Noach. A lot of people don't realize that this is one of the foundational principles not only for Jews, but also for goyim. People think, no, no, goyim are allowed, goyim are allowed. Absolutely not. Unfortunately, there's a very famous book for Noahides that has a mistake in the book. says that the goyim are allowed to do this, waste seed. This is a very big mistake. But they have a very serious mistake. They have to learn this topic extensively. Why? It's in Parashat Noach. Parashat Noach says, someone who spills blood of a man within a man, his blood will be spilled. Blood of a man, you're going to say, it's blood. Blood of a man within a man, what is that? Blood of a man is blood. Blood of a man within a man, you're talking about zera, Rabotai, the zera. The zera, what's zera in English? Like the key ingredient that's within it. Now, the punishment is death. What kind of death? Now, Rabotai, HaKadosh Baruch Hu is not joking when it comes to this because, like the Rav says,

49:04This is not just murdering somebody else's kid. It's murdering your own kids. And that's why the Gemara talks about such a person. The Zohar confirms it. This is the only time in the Torah that HaKadosh Baruch Hu calls a person evil. Not wicked. Evil. Ra. Ra. Rasha is wicked. Anybody that makes a sin is wicked. But Ra means evil. That's a different level. So the Admon Mi'Zelemir writes the following in this book. Person that even if he touches his bris, he brings flood to the world. Gemara Masechet Niddah, page 13. If he wastes seed, it's like he's spilling blood. He's committing murder. Also, Gemara Masechet Niddah, page 13. Also, there are all types of idolatry, all types of idolatry in the world. If you notice, all of the real idol worshippers, all of the devil worshippers, they worship their devil and their idol with two things. One is blood, and two is with seed. Why? Because this is what the Shedim, all of the demons, all the Tumah in the world, this is what it lives on. So that's why the Gemara Masechet Niddah says that when a person wastes seed, he's like worshipping an idol.

50:19Just like him and the guys from the church, same thing. According to the Gemara, he's liable to a death penalty. He's considered to have a major impairment, meaning he has a mum. In Shamayim, they look at this person as though he has a defect. He's defected his neshama. If the Beit Din would have known that he's doing this, meaning if this is a well-known issue and we have a Beit Din that knows it, they have to put him on cherem. Meaning you can't even count them in a minyan. Now today, unfortunately, it's such a big epidemic, you almost can't have a kosher minyan if you really start counting it. That's a reality. But the point is, rabotai ha'ikarim, we have to understand what the Torah says. Masechet Kallah says that he has no share of the World to Come. Somebody who wastes seed and does not do teshuva, doesn't matter if he keeps Shabbat, doesn't matter if he learns the entire Shas ten times. He doesn't do teshuva for wasting seed. No Olam HaBa. What does no Olam HaBa mean? No Olam HaBa means eternal suffering. Gehinnom forever. That's what it means. No Olam HaBa seems like, "Oh, okay, so what? They just delete me. That's it. Nothing happens." That's what no Olam HaBa sounds like to us. No Olam HaBa means that HaKadosh Baruch Hu punishes the person until He destroys the neshama. And this takes a very, very long time and a lot of, a lot of pain.

51:44Anyone that wants to know a little more details, they can watch my shiur about Gehinnom. I promise you, you're never gonna look at Olam HaBa the same way. Who looks at somebody that wastes seed differently? They look at other people, even if the other people are wicked. HaKadosh Baruch Hu punishes a person in this world also for this particular sin. This is the only sin out of all the sins that even if you did it before the age of 20, God punishes you in this world. All the other sins, if let's say a 16-year-old drives on Shabbat, he stole his parents' car or something, drives on Shabbat, he smokes a cigarette on Shabbat, and he violates all types of mitzvot before the age of 20, it's a sin. But the punishment comes later on. Hopefully, he does teshuva by later on. But this particular sin, if a person doesn't do teshuva, God punishes him in this world for this sin, even if it's before the age of 20. That's how much Hashem detests this sin. All of the problems that have happened to a person are because of this sin. That's what Tikkun HaZohar says. Now, this sounds nice. What does it mean, all the person's problems? To what magnitude? Anybody here ever hear of Rabbi Aharon Rata, the tzaddik? Rabbi Aharon Rata, anybody hear his name before? Anyone that wants to know a little bit about wasting seed, this is like the...

53:11Chacham of that world. He wrote a book that you could start today and finish in a hundred years from now and still not finish. That's how many chiddushim he has about this. To give you an understanding of who we're dealing with, Rabbi Aharon Roth, one time, some wicked journalist wanted to, you know, catch him doing something wrong. Because he had a lot of chassidim, people were following him. He wanted to see, maybe if I could catch him doing something wrong, So he pretended to be a Chassid. You know, he put on payos, you go to a costume store. Hat, also, same costume store. The beard grows by itself. So he went to a Shabbaton, and he's sitting, and he thinks that, you know, he's following, waiting for Rabbi Aharon Roth to do something wrong. He doesn't see, he doesn't see. But he documents everything, he pays attention, do, do, do. Towards the end of Shabbat, he sees all the Chassidim are at a table, excited. Rabbi Aharon Roth looks at him. He says, "You, come here." Now the guy, the journalist, got scared. He thought he's on to him. But he doesn't know what to do. What is he going to do? If he says no, the Chassidim are going to eat him as part of Seudah Revit.

54:34Anyway, you're going against our rabbi. So what is he going to do, this guy? Poor guy, poor guy. Rasha though. So he goes, it's okay, fine. He doesn't say a word to him. He comes up to him, and Rabbi Aharon Roth just shakes his hand. As soon as he shakes his hand, for a few seconds, the guy starts screaming hysterically and runs out of the place. A few of the Hasidim run after him. So what happened? What happened to you? What happened? He says, "He just showed me Gehenom. He just showed me, me in Gehenom." That's who we're dealing with. Rabbi Aharon Roth said, "People are not going to want to hear this, but that's why we say it." You know that event that we mourn every year called the Holocaust? He said the Holocaust happened primarily because of wasting seed. Primarily because of wasting seed. Why? Am Yisrael.

55:47When they watch their Brit, HaTorah HaKedoshah says no nation in the world can ever touch them. Why? Just like the Rav says that even the Malach Duma in Gehenom has no right to touch a Jew that watches his Brit, in this world no nation has the right to look at us, to touch us in the wrong way if we watch our Brit. When the nation as a whole started opening all types of gay clubs, all types of pubs, what they did over there in Germany turned Germany into Sodom. Berlin turned into Sodom. All of the gay clubs, all of the pornography, all of the Hollywood over there, all that happened. Look at the history books of what actually Am Yisrael did over there. Look at what we did over there. What we did. And this is what happened. It wasn't because of some moron with a small mustache. He was just the shaliach. He was just a stick. Hashem has a lot of sticks. If it's not him, it's Haman. If it's not Haman, it's somebody else. Nebuchadnezzar. You could say, as much as I say, but it doesn't make a difference. The only thing that's not going to make it happen again is not saying never again. "Never again" is not going to do anything for you.

57:09Standing up and not talking when there's a loudspeaker making a sound—that's annoying. It's not going to make the dead come back to life. It's not going to make the Holocaust not happen again. Teshuva is going to make the Holocaust not happen again. That's what we have to do. So... Chachamim tell us that all of the problems that have happened to a person, whether it's money loss, marriage problems, children problems, everything and anything, start with the Brit. You watch your Brit, you have special protection. You destroy a Brit, you destroy your protection. To such an extent that the Zohar HaKadosh in Parashat Lech Lecha says that the soul eventually goes to waste. Because after the person goes to Gehinom for an extended period of time, the soul gets destroyed and eventually goes to waste. All of the mitzvot that the person does, he learns Torah, all of Torah goes to the Sitra Achra, gives strength to the wicked, not to the righteous. And even when this person says Shema Yisrael, HaKadosh Baruch Hu doesn't listen. Even when a person does something that every little kid, 3, 4, 5 years old, needs to learn Shema Yisrael, it doesn't help.

58:35Why? He's not part of Am Yisrael until he does teshuva. That's how serious HaKadosh Baruch Hu takes the sin. Now, I'm going to give you a few things that I haven't said before. Now, the Zohar says that there's no sin in the world that provokes so much anger by HaKadosh Baruch Hu as much as this sin. How much, how much is this anger, how much? There's an angel called Patot. This angel Patot, he is responsible for trying to make you look at things that are not good. There's a girl that's walking around with underwear. He wants you to look at her. There's a girl that forgot the underwear too. He wants you to look at her too. There's all types of people in the world he wants you to look at. All types of immodest things he wants you to look at. That's his job. But he has a second job. The second job, the second job is this Patot has another visit with you. When? When you go into the kever, like all of us at some point, we'll go into the kever, hopefully after 120 or by the time we do teshuva, whichever happens first.

59:57Last week we did a shiur on chibut hakever, meaning what happens the minute you die. You're in the grave. What happens? A few angels come to visit you, depending on whether you're righteous or wicked. One of them is Patot. Patot, if you failed, if you started looking at immodest things, Patot visits you and he is responsible to break the bone that holds your eyes and take those eyes. Why? You fell. That's his job. meaning HaKadosh Baruch Hu has a specially designated angel just to deal with this part of the sin, not even the whole thing. That's how much HaKadosh Baruch Hu hates this thing. Now, the Chesed LeAvraham, Even Shetiyah Ma'ayan 5, He says there are certain types of people that sinned. You know, he made a mistake. The guy looked, but he didn't look again. Stole, but he didn't steal again. He did something, but he didn't do it again. Then there are some types of people, they already turned the aveirah into a mitzvah. They start getting to a point where they sin on a regular basis, every day.

1:01:22Why? In the beginning, when you first commit a sin, you aren't sure if it's allowed or not allowed. Yeah, you know, but once nothing happened, Hashem, you know, didn't send a lightning bolt to kill you, you're like, oh, nothing happened. By the second time you commit the sin, it already turns into allowing. The problem with this specific sin is that by the second time, you're addicted. If you're a teenager, 15, 16 years old, you haven't heard these shiurim, you haven't done, you could be doing it once, twice a day. You could be killing a civilization every day. Now, I'm telling you, you should do teshuvah. Why? Because HaKadosh Baruch Hu hates the sin to such an extent that Rabbi Avraham Azulai says that when a person sinned many times the same sin. He repeatedly sinned the same thing, meaning he turned his sin into a mitzvah, like he's doing it constantly. Then HaKadosh Baruch Hu sends him angels after he dies. They have a special mission. What's their mission? They're going to kill him and revive him, kill him and revive him, kill him and revive him as many times as he sinned. And every single time he dies, he feels the pain of death.

1:02:44This alone, rabotai yekarim, is enough reason to do teshuva, finish the shiur, everybody go home, become tzaddikim gemurim tomorrow. All of us are scared sometimes of a little bug biting us. But a bug biting us? We're scared, we run away. All of us are scared. Your car almost hit you. "Oh, Hashem, you're okay, you're okay." Start hugging everybody. Go to the Knesset. What happened? "Oh no, a car almost hit me." Dying over and over and over again. Imagine how many times a person that didn't do teshuva for this would have to suffer through this. HaKadosh Baruch Hu hates this. No other sin in the Torah has such a din. No other sin in the Torah. Now, The problem that we have is like the Rav says, the last generation before Mashiach has a large amount of Erev Rav. A lot of wicked people that call themselves rabbis. And part of the job of the Erev Rav is to tell you that this is not a big deal. Go do what you want. Listen to the psychologists and the psychiatrists and the psychotic people. Listen to all the people except the Torah.

1:03:56And they won't bring you a source. They won't bring you anything from the Torah. And if they bring you a source, they'll manipulate it. They'll manipulate it and take advantage of our own ignorance. You're not going to double-check what they say. And you're going to assume that because he's Rabbi Shmuley, then the book called "Kosher Sex," that means it has to be kosher. It has to be kosher. A rabbi wrote it. Can it be any more kosher than that? A rabbi wrote it. In this generation, you have to double-check everything. The Mishnah says every time you say the Torah, you have to state the source. Why? I want to know if I can see what you said in a book. Why? If I see it in a book, I can track the source all the way to Moshe Rabbeinu. If I cannot track the source all the way to Moshe Rabbeinu, your quote, your Dvar Torah is worth zero. Why? It's your opinion. for your opinion, I care less about your opinion. I care about Hashem's opinion. Hashem's opinion I care about. Why? His opinion doesn't change. Your opinion next week—it may change. Who knows? This week you want blue, next week it's red. This week he was a boy, next week he's a girl. Who knows what he wants? Who knows what he wants? People's opinions change all the time. There was a track guy, the guy with one medallion—a gold medal. As a guy, now he's a girl.

1:05:23What happened? You got confused along the way? People are crazy. The point is opinions change. I don't think like you. I don't change my opinions. So I have to track everything in a book. It behooves you. It's your responsibility to go and find Everything in a book. Meaning, you hear me say something, if I don't mention the source, go find it. Ask me if I did; go double-check. Why? Who's to say I'm saying the truth? Maybe I'm wrong. But if I'm right, then you have to do something about it. Same thing with other speakers; don't take their word for it. Double-check everything. Why? Because if it says it in a book that HaKadosh Baruch Hu wrote, then there's no more argument, there's no more debate, there's no more your opinion, my opinion. This is what it says, finished. That's why, unfortunately, Rabotai HaYekarim, the Erev Rav, they take advantage of people's laziness, their spiritual laziness, and also their ignorance. So they'll tell you that it's not important to learn about this, you shouldn't learn about it,

1:06:39Lotsa Noach, all of a sudden everybody became overly righteous. Lotsa Noach, they write books with women from the movies, but they say lotsa not to talk about mitzvot. So it's very, very important you double-check everything. It's very, very important that you take advantage of the Torah that's being handed to you on a silver platter. And the reason why is... if you want to be a Ben or a Bat Yisrael, you have to know that this specific sin is Kol HaTorah Kula. It's the entire Torah. HaKadosh Baruch Hu says, now the pshat is, HaKadosh Baruch Hu says, if not for my covenant day and night, the rules of the world will cease to exist. Rules such as gravity and so on and so forth. Meaning, if it's not for my covenant, if not for my brit every day, constantly, 24 hours a day, then I'll simply destroy the world, in so many words. So, some say, yeah, of course, it's Torah, learning Torah. If there's not somebody in the world that's learning Torah,

1:07:5224 hours a day, somebody has to be learning Torah in the world. Then, Hashem has no purpose for the world. But if you go even deeper to the basic, basic pshat, Hashem says b'riti. What's b'riti? The most important b'rit that we have, which is the b'rit milah. If not for somebody in the world protecting their b'rit, HaKadosh Baruch Hu says, "I have no reason for this world." Now, this sounds like a nice d'var Torah, but I'll give you a proof. The Midrash Tanchuma on Parashat Noach says that there were seven people that were born mahul, already with a brit milah: Adam HaRishon, Shet, his son, Noach, Yaakov Avinu, Yosef HaTzadik, his son, Moshe Rabbeinu, and the Prophet Iyov. So you have seven people already that from the beginning, from Adam HaRishon all the way to even beyond Moshe Rabbeinu that had a holy Brit already from birth. But even in between, we had Avraham Avinu and Metushelach. This means that at all times HaKadosh Baruch Hu had somebody in the world who was righteous and protecting their Brit, even before making it a commandment to Avraham Avinu. But the second proof is the following.

1:09:15We see that HaKadosh Baruch Hu discusses the issue of the Brit from the beginning of the Torah all the way to the end. The first thing is when He creates the world, you have Adam HaRishon and Chava. Adam HaRishon, unfortunately, after he left Chava in order to do Teshuva, He forgot that there's a rule in creation: a person is not good by himself, meaning you have to get married. All of these young people that are delaying their marriage because they want to become Talmidei Chachamim first, or they want to become rich, or they want to become whatever they want to become, don't be overly righteous. Get married and then you can learn and do whatever you want to do. Think that, no, no, if I get married, I'm not gonna be able to do this. It's the opposite. Whatever Torah you're learning without a wife is worth nothing in comparison to the Torah you're gonna learn after you have a wife. Same thing with parnassah, as the Rav said. You think you're making parnassah? Are you gonna be rich before you get married? Why would Hashem give you parnassah for two people if you're only one?

1:10:32Only when you don't have any kids. Why should He give you parnassah for three people, four people? Parnassah comes with kids. You don't have any kids, so what do you mean by the kids that you're destroying, wasting seed? So Adam HaRishon failed at this. Then we also see that Chava herself, also the serpent, the snake, put his zera in her. The Zohar HaKadosh says that he put his zera in her also. We also have Cain. Cain, their kid. As the Rav says, the kids that these people will have will have a problem. Cain was one of those kids. HaKadosh Baruch Hu says to Cain, when Cain brings a korban... Hashem and the korban is like for homeless people. You know, he gave him like the leftovers. He didn't give him something good. Hashem says, I don't want this korban. Give me a real korban. If you want, if not, I don't want this. But you should know, you should do teshuva and don't leave an opening. Why? If you leave an opening, you leave an opening...

1:11:49The evil can go through this. So the Chazal say, and then the Zohar says, what's this opening? What's the small opening? The small opening of the brit. Small opening of the brit. You don't watch the brit. You're not careful with your eyes. You're not careful with how you manage yourself. Even being comfortable with yourself is not good. You know, watch. This is going to lead to a big sin. So we see that already in the first generation, Adam, Chava, and one of their sons, Unfortunately, they failed at this, then you lead to their descendants, the generation of the flood, who literally destroyed the world because people wasted seed. The whole generation of Noah. It's not that they wasted seed; every generation has had this problem. Every generation, the same thing happened with Sodom. What's the difference between Sodom or the generation of Noah versus every other time? is that in those days they made it like Lechatchila. It's allowed. You should do it. It's recommended. Like they're doing in Tel Aviv or they do in New York with all of these gay parades. They're celebrating the To'eva Hashem. They're celebrating the enemies of Hashem. Instead of saying, go in a room, go in a closet, lock yourself in there and never come out until you become a normal human being. But now we celebrate them. We put them on TV, give them shows.

1:13:13This, Rabotai, makes HaKadosh Baruch Hu very angry. Now, of course, people are going to say, "Ah, this guy's fanatic." I'll be fanatic. I'll be fanatic for HaKadosh Baruch Hu. There's no better fanatic than that. But show me I'm wrong. That's what I'm worried about. Show me I'm wrong. Show me it doesn't say what I say in the Torah. If you have a problem with Torah, then you'll have a cheshbon with Hashem. It's a different story. So, the generation of Noach, already second parasha. Then you have The mitzvah that I mentioned to you, HaKadosh Baruch Hu gives the mitzvah of the Pekama B'rit to all of mankind. Shofekh dam ha'adam ba'adam, damo yishafekh. Spilling the blood of a man within a man, his blood will be spilled. Then the descendant of Noach, Canaan, also fails at this. Fails to a higher degree than the generation of Noach. Why? He performs homosexuality and rape by raping Noach. Then you fast forward and you see that Paro, Paro tried to do this with Sarah Imeinu. But Sarah Imeinu used the holy name Shin Dalet Yud to shut the whole of Paro and everybody that was in his kingdom. Lot and Sodom and Gomorrah.

1:14:32Then you fast forward to when Hashem sent the angels to save Lot. Hashem sent the angels to save Lot. What did the people from Sodom want to do to the angels? They wanted to rape the angels. They wanted to rape the angels. Why? They became so... I'll tell you exactly what happens at the end. But the point is that you see that this is not normal behavior. But it's throughout all of mankind. The stuff that's going on today is not new. Avraham and Yitzchak obviously have the mitzvah of brit milah. Then Yaakov Avinu, we learned that he says to his son, Reuven, that he is his koach. "You are my strength. You're my initial vigor." Meaning that Yaakov Avinu, the first time seed ever left his body was the first time he was with his wife. He was 84 years old. Meaning, Yaakov Avinu, no seed left his body for 84 years. It's no wonder HaKadosh Baruch Hu Himself says to Yaakov, Hashem said to Yaakov, "Your name is Yaakov, not that Yaakov is God, but among men you're like God." Watch your purity for 84 years? I want to see people watch it for 84 days, it's already a miracle.

1:16:00Then you fast forward to his grandkids, Er and Onan. The famous story, Er and Onan wasted seed with Tamar. HaKadosh Baruch Hu killed both of them; they were seven years old. From there, Chazal teach us, it doesn't matter what age you sin, you sin, Hashem punishes you, even if you're seven years old. Now, Baruch Hashem, today, most seven-year-olds don't go through puberty. But, needless to say, Harav Ovadia, alav ha-shalom, says you start teaching kids about Gehenom at six years old. Meaning by seven, he should already know: B'rit, don't touch. That's all he needs to know. Why? Hashem doesn't like you touching your B'rit. You want to clean yourself? There's something called a sponge. Yosef HaTzadik was only called a Tzadik because he didn't touch his B'rit, didn't waste his seed. Whereas his Ba'al HaBayit, his boss Potiphar, did. So that's why, in the end, what happens? Yosef is called Yosef HaTzadik, and Potiphar is called Potifera. Potifera means he turned into an openly homosexual person. What's the benefit for Yosef HaTzadik for doing all of this? You go to Sefer Shemot.

1:17:14His descendants. Sefer Shemot, chapter 1, verses 5 to 7, says that Am Yisrael came to Egypt with 70 people, but they expanded rapidly to such an extent that they became millions. They became the majority. How? Each birth was blessed to the extent that every Jewish woman, every Israelite, They gave birth, gave birth to six babies. That's why it has six adjectives describing the reproduction of Am Yisrael. That's how they went from 70 to millions. Meaning that when HaKadosh Baruch Hu sees somebody is watching their brit, the blessing is immense. Now, why do people fall for this? And we'll finalize with this and then we'll start with questions. Why do people fall for this? simply, people treat themselves like cattle. They treat themselves like animals. They feel that if they have a desire, they have to fulfill it. This is a problem. Animals work off of instinct; they have a desire, they have to fulfill it. Humans—the difference between humans and animals is that we don't have to fulfill every desire. The problem with this specific sin is that if you fulfill every desire, as the Rav says, if you starve it,

1:18:38It'll satiate it, meaning it'll be more full, but if you feed it, it'll never be satiated; you'll always be hungry. So what happens with the yetzer hara is that if you start by wasting seed, eventually it leads to promiscuity. Now, the Ramban, almost 900 years ago, says wasting seed leads to promiscuity. Promiscuity leads to homosexuality. Homosexuality leads to bestiality. Where do we see this from? Look at the kings that I mentioned in the Gemara Masechet Rosh Hashanah. It says about the goyim kings, Daryavesh, Nebuchadnezzar, Bilaam. How come it always mentions an animal next to one of these goyim kings? Nebuchadnezzar had constant animals. Daryavesh had a dog next to him. Bilaam had a donkey. Why do I care about their donkey, their dog? The Haggadah doesn't say that Moshe Rabbeinu had a puppy. He got it as a present for his birthday. How come it doesn't say that Avraham Avinu had a slew of donkeys that he liked and he called each one of them Steve? How come it doesn't say that? How come it only mentions these animals for the goyim? Because these powerful goyim wanted to satisfy every physical desire, and they did. It started with wasting seed, then it led to promiscuity, then Nebuchadnezzar decided to invite every king and rape him.

1:20:05That was the chiddush they would get when they'd come visit his palace. But the Yavish wanted to go a step further. He had a dog. Why? That was his wife. Just like his grandfather Bil'am. They married animals. That's why I mentioned the animals. Why? Because it leads, if a person does not control their desires, they're always pushing the line a little further. A little further, they need something to be more taboo, more extraordinary, more this, more that. Eventually, normal intimacy, normal pleasure, normalcy in general is no longer good enough. Himself is not enough, so he needs to do something else. One woman is not enough, so he needs two. Two is not enough, so he needs a guy. A guy is not enough, so he needs a dog. He needs this, he needs that—who knows what he's going to need in the end. The point is, in the end, he's going to become gay. No, that's what he's going to become. But along the way, he's going to live a life that's not worth living. So, this is not a sin that you should be scared of just because of the end result, and...

1:21:12It's a sin that you should be scared of because of the actual existence of a person that commits this sin. It's not an existence that you should have. You shouldn't even wish this on your enemies because you pretty much make yourself into an animal. You make yourself into an animal. And that's what the Gemara says: don't make yourself into an animal. Now, even though this is called Gemara Brit, we also mention modesty in this shiur. Why? Because every single woman, every single woman that walks around immodestly, she's a partner to the sin. But the woman is worse than the guy. Why? The guy walks around, worst case scenario, he makes his own sin. He makes his worst sin. Now he has serious problems. We just talked for half an hour about how many problems he has because of this one sin. But the woman, Hashem knows how many sins she can collect just by walking around to the deli. She walked around to the deli to see Carlos and Steve. with a miniskirt. And not only Carlos and Steve had the pleasure of their life looking at her, but also José and all of his work buddies. Everybody saw her and everybody's going to think about her. And guess what? 150 people are having her, this bat Yisrael, in their minds, permanently. Guess what? Every time they sin, it goes to her cheshbon also.

1:22:34Every time they sin, it goes to her cheshbon. So, the poor little guy, he sinned one time. But she, she must have sinned a thousand times just going to the deli. Just going to the deli. So that's why, Rabotai HaKedoshim, it's not just the guys, it's also the women. You have to make sure you understand. This is not one of those things you want to mess with. It's just not. It's not easy. There is a way to do teshuva for it. One thing I would add, and then you can ask as many questions as you want, to what Rav Zitron said in regards to the teshuva. is first, you have to stop, like he said. Then, you have to put a fence. offense, like he said, meaning you know certain trigger points that you have. You know that every time you hang out with this guy and that guy, they bring you to some club that you don't want to be in. You know that every time you walk around that street, all of the shema go there also. So don't go on that street. Just like somebody that wants to go on a diet, he's not going to go past his favorite restaurant every day just for, you know, for memories.

1:23:36No, why? Because eventually he's gonna go inside. So, you know that there are certain trigger points you have, certain trigger points that cause you to sin. You know that every time you go to a certain website, Hashem knows what happens. So, don't go on the website. You know that every time you're on a computer alone at night, it happens. Don't go on a computer alone at night. You know your trigger points, so make a fence. Regret is not just about saying, "Oh, I'm sorry, Hashem." Thank you. You're sorry? What do you do about it? What do you do about the sorry? You say, "I'm sorry" to your wife for yelling at her while you're yelling at her. That's not "I'm sorry." What are you doing about it? You're doing something about it. You're going to take some anger management classes with Rabbi Zitron. You smash your head against the wall a few times just so she can get something. What are you doing about it? Nothing, sir. Your "sorry" means nothing. Do something. Put a fence. Third, like he said, pray, but pray with tears. Pray, "I'm really, really sorry." How are you going to be really sorry for something you enjoyed so much? Anybody have an answer for that? How are you going to be really sorry for something you enjoyed so much? The only way you're going to be really sorry is if you understand the magnitude of the sin. You listen to the shiurim a thousand times until you understand how bad the sin is. And that sin, that pleasure, becomes disgusting to you. Last but not least, you have to make up for lost time, for the sins you've made. There's only one way to do it.

1:25:02You do whatever you can to cause other people to stop sinning. Whether it's arranging lectures like this, or just using your right finger or your left finger, whichever one, it's the same price, and pressing share on the button of this lecture and other lectures like we have, and sharing it with every contact you have. Why? You share with people, they're going to do teshuva. That's making up for lost time. There's no other way to make up for lost time. That's why the prophet Yechezkel says, don't let your sins be the stumbling block of your future. Why? You have to make up for lost time. You have to make up for the past sins. So this, Rabotai, there's obviously more details I could tell you, but B'ezrat Hashem, you have questions. Thank you very much again, B'ezrat Hashem. Who wants to go with the first question? We'll start maybe with the questions that were submitted beforehand, and then we'll open it up this way. OK. So we'll go through a few questions. We'll each answer, or one of us will answer, and then we'll continue to open up to anybody who has any questions over here. Question number one: Is it immodest for women to look at men? Is guarding the eyes different for men versus women? This is an excellent question. So obviously, it's different because the outcomes are very different. But because they're different, they're also different in different magnitude. And I've once heard this concept, and it's so true.

1:26:20that a man goes and sees an immodest woman. So he sees it, and it gets implanted in his mind. Like the Rabbi was saying, it gets implanted and it's going to pop up throughout your entire life. When a woman sees an image, though, when a woman sees a man and looks at him and contemplates it, the image becomes instilled. A woman internalizes things more than men. Men, it's more in the subconscious. Women have a lot more internalization to it. So according to some opinions, in some sense, again, in some sense, it's even worse for a woman to go and look at men. That's number one. Number two, why is it a problem for a woman to look at men? Now, the man's personality, a woman's walking down one side of the street. She happened to be glancing in the vicinity of this guy. What is this guy going to think? She practically wants to marry me. I mean, it's obvious. I'm like, do you know? She's looking at her friend like a block away. She's like, do I know? And he's like, you saw that? You know what I'm saying? This is my new suit. You know what I'm talking about? She stole my watch. You know, she stole my wallet. The way that a man thinks, so it affects when a woman... We're really stupid. We're very, yeah, yeah. We're on a level, yeah. There's a reason why the woman has to rear our children. There's a reason why the Mashiach is going to come because of them, thank God. Yeah.

1:27:37So, when you think about it, there is a problem when women look at men for their own internal reasons, but there's also a problem because it makes it different in the man's eyes. It makes it different. I've had this numerous times. I remember when I was single and I was going out with my friends, and they would mention this. I'm like, what are you talking about? Like, what do you have to offer? You're like 400 pounds. You're like, where are you going to go? You're broke. You're not dressed well. He didn't call me again. But whatever. I'm like, do you think that it's all about you? Because that's how men think. Now, is it a problem? This is the bottom line. You look at a man. Men know what I'm talking about. Women don't think like that. A man looks at a woman. A woman's like, oh, this guy's disgusting. A woman looks at a man. She wants me to. Look at the difference that we are. So yes, it is a problem for when women look at men as well. And I'll also turn it over to Rabbi Rubin for any additional input. Just to reiterate, it's just the mindset of a woman that is different than a man. Also, in the sense that when a man looks at a woman, she shouldn't be happy that he looked at her. Why? He's simply looking at her like a piece of meat. Just like when you go to the butcher, you know, you look at meat; they hang the meat. That's how a man looks at a woman.

1:28:50He wants to eat it. That's it. He has no interest in marrying her. He has no interest in talking to her. He has no interest in even hearing her voice. He prefers not to, actually. That's what a man that looks at women thinks. A ben Torah doesn't look at women. A ben Torah doesn't look at women. That's why he doesn't think like that. He looks at his wife. A woman that looks at a man, she doesn't think of a piece of meat. She thinks of a personality. Oh, he looks funny. Oh, he looks smart. Oh, he looks like he's generous. She already starts picturing their future together and how, wow, he looks like he would make me laugh every Tuesday, maybe Wednesday too. You know what, I think he would buy me a birthday present without forgetting. You know what, I'm gonna call him Steve. She gives him a name, she imagines how many kids they're gonna have, just from five seconds of looking. So what happens? A woman lives in a fake dream. And the problem with a woman like that is that a woman like that is never going to be happy, ever. So this is simply just drinking your own poison and expecting the other guy to die. So when you look at the grass being greener somewhere else, you look at other men, you look at other days, you look at other things, you're never going to be happy with your life. So that's also a psychological standpoint.

1:30:14Last but not least, what are you really presenting? What are you really presenting when you're looking at stuff that doesn't belong to you? Are you really presenting a Bat Yisrael? You're the daughter of the King of Kings. You're chasing after men. What are you lacking? What do you have? Three heads? One arm? What's wrong with you that you need to look at men? If he's not your husband, there's nothing for you to look at. The same thing for men. You're the son of HaKadosh Baruch Hu. Why are you chasing things like a dog? Is something wrong? Huh? The point is, rabotai yekarim, you have to control yourself. You have to control yourself. Why? That's the difference between us and animals. We have to control ourselves. They can't. They have an instinct. So for that, you have to give yourself different boundaries, different things, and understand that there are certain things that are not good to do because there's Gan Eden and Gehinnom. But there are certain other things that you should not do because, in essence, you are creating your own Gehinnom by doing them. Why? Because you're living in a fantasy land. You're living in a fantasy land. You're constantly looking at other things that don't belong to you. It's not going to help you in your life. Chaval, next question. Okay. If a man or a woman has a sexual thought or desire, what is the best way to get rid of it? Do you want to switch off? Do you want to start? Go first. We'll switch off. So Rabbi Yehuda Fatiyah, alav ha-shalom, writes in his book...

1:31:40there are several things that a person can do to clean out the tum'ah that's in his mind. So, for example, there are certain times that the stuff that you've seen in your life that's not so kosher is going to appear in your mind. And like I told you, it's going to be the worst times. It's not going to be the best times. It's going to be the worst times. You saw an immodesty at some point, you're going to think about this immodesty when? The worst possible times, when you're praying to HaKadosh Baruch Hu. So you're crying to HaKadosh Baruch Hu to give you salvation, to give you a child, to give you parnassah, to give you this, to give you that, and what are you thinking about? You're thinking about some movie that you saw when you were 16 years old, and Hashem yerachem how it ended. That's when you're thinking, so who wants this? This is the worst thing in the world to think about. But that's when the Satan comes. Same thing with marriage and so on and so forth. So Rabbi David says that if you have bad thoughts, there are a few things that you can do. There's a pasuk that you can say. For the purpose of this conversation, I'll just leave it to the end. I'll give you guys the pasuk in person. And you can say this pasuk, and that helps with, or two pesukim, that help with cleaning out your mind short term. But that's if you're doing something holy. If you're praying, if you're studying, not if you're just roaming around.

1:33:00The second thing is in regards to, I guess, the thought process that a person can have is the Gemara Masechet Berachot says: "When the Yetzer Hara comes, say, 'Learn some Torah.' If that doesn't work, say Kriyat Shema—say, 'Shema Yisrael.' Realize there's a God above you. If that's not enough, think about the day you die. Think about the day you're going to die." Why? Because once you die, it's not a walk in the park. You don't know what's going to happen. Baruch Hashem, we have a few shiurim about it. Rav Zitron has a few shiurim about it. You can read about it, you can learn about it, and you understand that the day that you die, there's a din to pay, and you don't want to have too much of a din. You don't want to have too much of a bill. However. Just to add on that, when... When these types of thoughts pop into your head, it's very difficult to prevent the thought from coming up. You cannot, in fact, if I say right now, a cow being tipped over. One of the first things that you think about is a cow being tipped over. And if not, now you are, because I just said that you are. So it's very easy for me to implant thoughts into your head, but it's very difficult for you to remove thoughts from your head.

1:34:04Meaning that your subconscious mind, you're able to define the way that you think and what your thought process is and the images that you procure in your mind. However, it's difficult to go and remove them. But we know something very interesting is that, usually, if you're able to focus, you're able to focus on one thing at a time. Yeah, many things may pop up, but you're able to focus on one thing at a time. So, if you have these types of desires, it's a good way to move, to shift your focus onto something different and to focus on that. Obviously, the best way is Torah. If we are able to learn Torah, that has the ability to, A, focus on something, and B, you also have the spiritual power behind it to go and prevent you from doing that sin. What's also very important is that people don't realize how beneficial it is. Let's say somebody gets some sort of desire, man or woman, it doesn't matter. This usually happens when they're in the confines of their own home. What you want to do is take a walk around the block. Take a walk around the block. It depends where you live, but you take a walk around the block. It's 2 o'clock in the morning? It doesn't matter. Take a walk around the block. What also helps, if all this fails, is to do push-ups. Do something that you cannot be thinking about it. Do something. If you can't do push-ups, then...

1:35:12Usually, people can't do push-ups; they can't do sit-ups either. Do something that's strenuous, because it's hard, and it's difficult for you to think about other things. Imagine somebody is running up a hill, and they're sweating; they can't focus. They're not thinking about anything else. They're thinking about two things: breathing and water. or air conditioning. That's all that they're thinking about. So if you cannot focus it based on your mind, try to focus on something based on your body. Do things that will keep you busy, which will hopefully help you to prevent this from happening. And of course, you pray. Ask God. The power of everything is in God's hands. Pray to have some clean thoughts. Okay, question number three. Hi, Rabbi, can you help me out with stopping wet dreams? Since a few months ago, I stopped wasting seed purposely. I started having wet dreams every few days. I do the four main tips, watching my eyes. I'm extra careful with this. I also stopped pornography a while ago. I say the first four chapters of Tehillim, feet uncovered, bedtime Shema, and I pray to God every day for this. He does put it, and that is very, you know, I give credit that he does, as I do have sexual thoughts on my mind the whole day. Is there anything else I can do to stop it?

1:36:19First of all, that already kind of answered it because he already has stuff on his mind all day. But like I mentioned before, in my, you know, when I was speaking, there's one thing that's missing over here. Where is the Torah? Where is the Torah? Because you want to know why, if you're able to, and this is something that’s not, you know, people don't think of it. People think, yeah, okay, fine, I'm doing Shabbat, I'm stopping to do this. Okay, Torah, they put it at the end. People don't, it's supposed to be up front. Your mind is phenomenal, It's a crazy thing, your mind. The way that it works, if you ever learned anything about your mind, even just from the chemical aspects of what goes on in your mind, it's phenomenal. To go and just prevent it, you have to, the Torah is a very, very important aspect. If somebody keeps on having wet dreams, and it's very, very common that I get this question quite often, people tell me, "Oh, when they waste seed, they don't have wet dreams." Of course. Nothing left. Now that you did it, and now you still have the temptation, now you're going to have the wet dream. So you have to also include it in it, obviously, to make sure that you're not thinking about bad thoughts during the day. And of course, of course, of course, you have to include the Torah. You have to add the Torah. The Torah is an extremely important aspect in this. A few things. You have to always remember, my father said to me, that what takes you a second to break may take you a year to fix. So,

1:37:40When a person gets their body physically addicted to wasting seed, it's not so easy to fix it. Meaning by simply stopping, it doesn't stop the addiction. The Rambam, 900 years ago, said it's the strongest addiction there is in mankind. Stronger than drugs, stronger than anything else. It's a very strong addiction. So now let's say, Baruch Hashem, you got enough fear of Heaven from this shiur and you want to stop. You're going to start wearing clothes. You're going to start watching your brit. You're going to start doing this. You're going to start doing good things, right? But the yetzer hara doesn't stop. The yetzer hara doesn't go on break. He comes back. He comes back in different ways, different forms, different sizes. That's what the Gemara says. He has seven names. What seven names? He has a lot more than seven names, meaning he'll come in different shapes and sizes. No end. The yetzer hara, Gemara Masechet Sanhedrin says, he's like a zvuv on the heart. He's like a fly on the heart, meaning no matter how many times you shoo him away, he keeps coming back, keeps coming back, keeps coming back. He's the only creature that's not scared of people. Everybody else is scared. Zvuv is not scared. The fly is not scared. So,

1:38:58There are a few things that you can do. First and foremost, understand you will fail. Even if you don't do it yourself, you will fail. It happens because your body is still addicted to it. That doesn't mean you're a failure. It means that your body is addicted. It's going to take a while for the body to recover. It's not just the neshama that needs to recover. The body needs to recover. So you need to do a few things. Number one, you have to sleep on your side. Start with the left side, then move on to the right. Now, of course, at some point, you're going to lose control of your body and probably sleep on your back, but anytime you do have control, you do have some consciousness, you do have some type of mind, then push yourself to sleep on your side. Never sleep on your stomach, never sleep on your back. Two, never ever rationalize that it's okay to do it just because it's happening anyway. When it comes out as a result of a dream, it's not to the same magnitude as when it comes out when you're doing it yourself. either with somebody or without. Okay, it's never, on purpose, it's never the same as accidental. That's two. Third thing is, if you don't watch your eyes, you're simply just wasting your time. If you're not gonna watch your eyes, you're just simply wasting your time. If you're gonna go on the internet and look at every commercial, you're gonna watch TV, you're gonna watch movies, and all these Power Rangers and X-Rangers and all these people that are on television that are practically wearing bodysuits,

1:40:25Okay, you're going to watch that stuff. You're going to watch movies. You're going to watch Hollywood. You're going to walk around and look at anything that moves and doesn't move. You're wasting your time. You're never ever going to overcome it. If you don't watch your eyes, if you don't watch these two little windows that are windows to your soul, you're wasting your time. You have to watch your eyes. These are the few things. Now, at the time that you are going to sleep, right before you go to sleep, say some divrei Torah. Don't make a TV commercial the last thing you see before you go to sleep. Open a Gemara, open a Chumash, open, you know, Rabbi Zitron's shiur. Open something. Five minutes, ten minutes. I know you're tired. That's the point. Read it. Watch it. Five, ten minutes, then go to sleep. Then go to sleep. Why? Have some divrei kodesh. That's, by the way, the reason why we do Shema Al HaMita. So you at least have a pasuk on your lips before you go to sleep. But the point is, have something that's going to create some chochmah, some type of wisdom in your mind so you have something to think about, and it's not just what people think about. So have a few things. These are a few tools that at least you don't do it on purpose. Eventually, if you stop doing it on purpose, the wet dreams will start becoming less and less random, less frequent. In the beginning, it could be even once a week.

1:41:50As you stop, you stay strong, it becomes once a month. You stay strong, it becomes once every few months. You stay strong, it can become eventually once a year or even less frequent. But you have to stay strong and get married. Next, I want to just add to that. I'll tell you, to this day, when I go to sleep, the majority of the time, obviously not on Shabbat and Yom Tov, I have a lecture in my ear. The funny thing is that sometimes you fall asleep and then you kind of wake up a little bit. And then I'm listening to this class and I'm like, what is this person talking about? I have no idea what's going on. And then I'm like, wait a minute, I probably fell asleep. I take out the earphone and you fall asleep. But sometimes it's difficult to think of Torah when you're very exhausted and tired. But to put a little thing in your ear, obviously to make sure you don't choke yourself, you know, make it, put it in very light so it easily falls out. Not everybody can do this, but I'm saying, I personally do it. It's very enjoyable. You do have some rabbis who put you to sleep easily, you know, very quickly anyways. It's not a problem. Listen to my class, it puts you to sleep. Yeah, I do that with the earphone on and everything. And in the dark, go to sleep with the earphone.

1:42:50At least something you're getting in your sleep. Okay, next question. Number four. Okay, if one did not previously dress modestly, and they knew it was wrong while doing it, do they have to do anything additional for teshuva, like a fast, or is the standard three-step teshuva process, which includes a permanent change, enough? The teshuva for wasting seed, the Arizal says, is 84 fasts. Now, in this generation that we have, we don't have anybody that can really do 84 fasts, so we replace it with money. replace it with money, meaning the person needs to pay for 84 meals. So if an average meal is $5, every time a person wasted seed, it's $5, so it's $420. That's to make up for one instance of wasting seed, meaning that a person needs to make wasting seed already as part of their ma'aseh, part of their tzedakah, part of their money goes to wasting seed on a regular basis. Needless to say, a woman that is immodest, that caused men to waste seed, also has a very serious problem. So the solution for both of them

1:43:51is the same, which is what we mentioned before: not only stop the sin, not only regret the sin, not only make sure you put a fence, but also encourage other people to do teshuva for it. Why? Because if you take the money that you were going to give to some beit knesset to buy the 18th sefer Torah, Or you're going to take the money and you're going to go buy people sufganiyot and get extra fat on Hanukkah. You're going to take the money and save some dog that has three legs, hoping he can live another two years. You take the money and go save some elephant in a zoo called Charlie. Instead of that, use it to save neshamot. Use it to save neshamot. You see in the back, somewhere over here, there are CDs over there. Those CDs are free for you to take—free for you to take to go listen to them, free for you to take to give to others. They actually cost money, though. They didn't come from man. They didn't come from Shamayim by themselves. They actually cost money. People paid for them. People donated. We give them for free. Same thing with the books over there. Those books are free for you to take. Enjoy them. They're good for you to read, to learn. If you know what you're talking about, you know how to read Hebrew and so on, go read them. It's not a shame. You'll enjoy them. But they also cost money. So people paid for them and we give them for free. The mitpachot. A woman wants to take on the mitzvah of mitpachat. To do kisui rosh.

1:45:10Kosher ketubah, she wants to put a mitpachat. We have mitpachot over there. Tzitziot. Somebody wants to take a mitzvah to protect themselves 24 hours a day and also fulfill a mitzvah by wearing a tzitzit. Those tzitziot are there. Everything is free. Now it's not really free, but it's free for you. Point is, you want to help people do teshuva, you publicize this type of work. Real kiruv. Hanukkah parties, that’s if I thought you could do that too, but you have to look at every money that you give as a tzedakah as an investment. It’s an investment. What am I gonna get more out of this? Okay, so best-case scenario with the sufganiyah, he’s gonna say, “Wow, these are good sufganiyot this year,” and maybe he’s gonna do a bracha, maybe, but with the CD... Maybe he'll do teshuva. And every single mitzvah that he ever does as a result of this CD will go to my cheshbon and fix my ma'asei zerah levatalah, fix my wasting seed, and so on and so forth. So that's what people should do as a main thing, both for wasting seed and also for modesty. I'll just add on that. Nothing really to add, but I want to bring a point. That was once...

1:46:14a student of mine once came over to me and asked me, he did think of the worst sin with another person possible, with a married woman. And he wanted to do teshuva on it. So I gave him the three basics. I was introducing him to a mekubal, a Kabbalist. And I said, go. Ask the Kabbalist. See what he's going to say. And the Kabbalist told him that what you need to do is help other people in the sin that you fell. You want to know how to make a tikkun? You help other people in that particular sin. So I still remember one time I was giving a class. He comes in. He comes to the front. He's like, I have like two minutes. He puts it down. He's like, guys, I want to tell you about the serious sin of adultery. And he goes on for like five minutes in front of my class, going on about it. It's good. But I'm saying that there is that. I don't know if anybody wants to go in the middle of the class and be like, I just want to tell you how serious immodesty is or how serious it is the way you see it. But the most simple thing is these classes exist online. There are books about it. There are resources. Just help. Be like, "Hey, this is really cool. Listen to it. This is really fantastic." Whatever it is that you want, whatever gets the other person close to it, you have the easiest way to make it happen. Imagine what it was like before this came out, before you had technology.

1:47:28If you wanted to go, so it'd be like, you would call people up, or, you know, call people up, if anybody knows what I'm doing over here, right? And then call them up, and they all come together, and then they give a call. Here, it's less than a second. People that don't have, you know, you shouldn't have social media, you have social media, you share it, it's something so easy. The biggest kicker after 120, when you realize what you could accomplish with a simple click. When you realize what you could accomplish with so little, you'll be kicking yourself. I can't believe I didn't do this more. Like, why didn't I do this? I could accomplish so much. The hardest thing is when you see the potential that you had with the easiest thing. OK, moving on, next question. Can you please talk a little bit about a woman's part? Like, what if he was thinking about a particular girl, what's her aveirah? Or what if it was because of the way the girl dressed, acted, and spoke? I believe the rabbi already spoke about this, that obviously she has a connection to that sin as well, and to the extent of how severe it is when she's involved in that sin, and how it's because of her. Now the way that it works is,

1:48:35a woman would walk down the street. And let's say she's not 100% modest. This is something very, very fascinating. Let's say a woman walks down the street, modest k'halacha, the whole shebang. She's modest, the way it covers all the places that she's supposed to. And you still have a pervert that goes and looks at her and does a sin. Did she violate anything? She did what she was supposed to. She needed to go buy something. Is it her fault that there's a pervert over there? No. But what happens if her skirt was a little bit short or something was not so modest? Just by a little bit. All of a sudden, she goes from patur to chayav. All of a sudden, for something so little, it changes drastically for what she has. So yes, she is involved in the sin as well. And it's a very, very serious level of transgression. That's why people are always speaking about it. One of the most important things for a woman is modesty. Men also, it's kedushah on this type of level. It's very, very important. People don't speak about this. The Torah doesn't speak about it because, yeah, let's make your life miserable. There's a purpose for everything. We're in this world for a reason. One of these reasons is that this is something that needs to be fixed. This is very important. This generation is a generation that is unprecedented in the test that we have.

1:49:46both in modesty and in guarding our eyes in all aspects. And fashion is the highest that it ever was. And it's just growing. So it's a test that is only going to grow. And if you don't fix it, if you don't protect yourself, your children are going to follow you away, like the Rav was saying, and their children One of the scariest things is that the way you decide to live your life is the way your children are going to live their lives. They follow more or less in the same footsteps. Obviously, you have different extremes. But if, let's say, a person decides he's not going to be religious, or a woman decides she's not going to be religious, what is the likelihood of those children being religious? So when you're making a decision that, hey, you don't believe in God, whatever it is, you're affecting your children, your grandchildren, and your great-grandchildren for all eternity. For what? Because you think you know better? You think you know for sure? No one knows for sure that you could say that there's no such thing as Hashem, there's no such thing as God. No one knows for sure. You could assume. You could assume this. You could assume that. So, for a doubt, you're willing to risk your life, your children's lives, for all eternity? So, when you think about the consequences of every single action that you do, it makes you really reconsider everything that you do. Like, the way that you dress is going to affect your children. The way that you, when you're looking, I believe I mentioned that if you're careful regarding your eyes, your children will be careful regarding their eyes. We have spiritual DNA, just like we have genetic DNA. The things that you work on also affect your children.

1:51:08The big thing that people don't understand is that the Greeks were very smart people. Very, very smart people. So how come these smart people were so stupid at the same time? Because they didn't think that HaKadosh Baruch Hu cares about the small stuff. They thought, yeah, God's too big to care about my small little problem. God's too big to care about whether I do netilat yadayim. God's too... to care about kosher. He's too big. He's got a lot of stuff going on. Unfortunately, that's us too. We think that Hashem is too big to care about the small stuff. But in reality, that's what makes Him big—because He does care about the small stuff. If Sarai Imenu, instead of saying to Avraham Avinu, "Okay, what do I need to do in order to help these guests, these three Arabs that came," they didn't know that malachim... These three Arabs came, their visitors, instead of going and setting up a whole feast for these people, if she said, you know what, Avraham, you do it. I'm tired. I'm tired. If Sarah Imeinu said, I'm tired today. If Rivka, when Eliezer came, said, what, water? Go, it's over there. Get it on your own. It's over there, yeah. Make a right, make a left, go over there. What, I'm three years old, what do you want from my life?

1:52:24Go over there. What? If she said, "I'm tired," she said, "I'm tired." If she said, "I'm tired," guess what? She wouldn't be Sarah; she wouldn't be Rivka; she wouldn't be Rachel; she wouldn't be Leah. Our Imahot would not be our Imahot. There would just be some person that existed that you never heard about. If we're tired when it comes to mitzvot, guess what? We're not going to be the people that HaKadosh Baruch Hu wants. So every little thing is not little; it's big. In HaKadosh Baruch Hu's eyes, it's big. That's what makes a person. A righteous person is measured by the small stuff, not the big stuff. What do you do with the small stuff? Do you care about the small stuff like the big stuff? So this is what a person needs to know. When it comes to watching your eyes, it's not just about watching your eyes when the rabbi is next to you. It's easy to watch your eyes when the rabbi is next to you. I never look. No. No. Watching your eyes. The test is when no one's looking and you're on a computer by yourself at 3 o'clock in the morning. What are you looking at? When the video went on by itself, by mistake, you clicked on YouTube. You have a chance. No one's there; your wife went on vacation. Everybody's on vacation at 3 o'clock in the morning by yourself. What are you going to do?

1:53:47What are you going to do? You have a chance. They just invited you to a party and she sent you a dress for $5,000, but you know it's not a modest dress. You know it's not a modest dress. Are you going to wear it because it's $5,000? It's the small stuff that's big. So that's it. That's what we're measured by. If a person wants to have a good world in this world and the next, they take everything seriously. Everything. If not, they're going to fail at everything. Habit. Okay, question number six. If a woman engaged in activities with a man that led to a man wasting seed, what is the teshuva process for the girl in addition to the three steps, assuming that she knew what she was doing was an aveirah at the time but continued doing it? You have to get other people to be religious. You have to; there's no other way. There's no way to make up for the crimes we've committed, not just in wasting seed, immodesty, and everything. Shabbat—how are you going to make up for it? If you start keeping Shabbat now after violating Shabbat for 20 years, how are you going to make up for 20 years of lost Shabbat? You can't go up to Shamayim and say, "Nobody kept it." Okay, great, you kept it, but you still have a deficit of 20 years.

1:54:53You have a deficit of 20 years' worth of Shabbat. How are you going to make it up? You have to get other people to become religious. You have to get them to listen to shiurim and do teshuva. That's the only way to make up for our crimes. The final question that we have before the class says that someone who arouses himself deserves a severe punishment. Is it to get aroused as a result of not thinking of your wife? So it depends on how you think about your wife, what you're thinking about your wife, and where your wife is when you're thinking it. Now, the Shulchan Aruch says that if you have a dream, and you see your wife in the dream in a provocative way and it gets you hot, if you wake up and she's right next to you, don't touch her. You're not allowed to touch your own wife. Why? The woman you saw in your dream is not your wife. It's the Satan's wife pretending to be your wife. No woman that you're ever gonna see in your dream is your wife. The only woman that's in your dream is the Satan's wife. This means that you have to wait until you calm down, you're not as hot anymore, and then you could be with your wife if you want. But you're not allowed to be, so that's one. So if you thought about your wife through some dream, then throw that dream in the toilet. Now, if you thought about your wife in your dream and she's right there, what are you thinking about? She's right next to you.

1:56:13You thought about your wife when she's not there. That's a little bit dangerous. Why? What are you going to do? What are you going to do? Okay, so great. So she's beautiful. She's great. She's well. Great. What are you going to do now? What, do you think you're allowed to waste heat on your wife? What do you think you're going to do? There's nothing you can do. So don't think. It's better to think about your wife when she's there. And that's the thing that nobody wants to do. Why? That's the hard part. Why? You have to pay attention to her because she wants to talk and not just do what you want. And you have to listen. And so on and so forth. That's what marriage is all about. You have to listen. She talks. You listen. She talks. And eventually, you get some time to talk. The point is, that's a relationship. That's a relationship. That's it. You want to do that? That's good. You don't want to do that, then what? You want to think about her like she's some steak? Some 16-ounce steak or something? So there's a right place and a right time to think about your wife. If your wife is not there, it's very dangerous to think about her. a provocative way. Obviously, thinking about nice things, good things, you're supposed to generally speaking. It's important also. Chazal teaches that if you're married already, before you go away for an extended period of time, be together before you go. Don't go for an extended period of time without talking. Make sure that you have a solid relationship with your wife. That's really the key. There's a whole class about...

1:57:36Shalom Bayit, but the key is to make sure to know there's a time and a right place to do everything. You can't just do anything you want whenever you want. Just because it's allowed to eat doesn't mean you have to eat everything. Just because it's kosher doesn't mean you can eat as much as you want. Everything has a time and a place. That's the difference between Judaism and everything else in the world. There's nothing really to add to that, but I'll just reiterate one point. It really depends on when you're thinking about your wife. If it's when you're intimate, then obviously not only is that allowed, you're supposed to be thinking about her and no one else. But if, let's say, it's during the time of the month when you're supposed to be separated, then you're not supposed to be arousing yourself with thoughts of your wife, obviously, because then it's going to lead to problems. And that's why there are halachot that are set up in a certain way specifically to prevent these types of things from happening. Okay, so do you have any questions that you want to bring up? I didn't write yours. One thing that somebody asked, people ask all the time: What happens if I'm already there? I'm hot. I'm at that moment. I fell. I watched this YouTube video. I watched this whatever video. I saw this love of my life that broke my heart again. Whatever. I'm hot. I want to, whatever. What do you do? What do you do? Can't call me.

1:58:53I'm not going to pick up. They called me. That was the answer. What do you do? So there's a few things. A few things that you're going to learn are going to help you. And then I'll answer the question on the side of the women. When you're really aroused, first and foremost, understand that this is partly physical, partly spiritual. So sometimes learning Torah by itself is not going to help you. Why? You're already far gone. You can read the book 500 times, you don't understand a single word. You can read the Chumash, Moshe Rabbeinu, Parashat Balak, Parashat Bilam, Pinchas is killing people. You don't care. Nothing works. It's 2 o'clock in the morning and you are out of your mind. Shema Yisrael, you might as well say, you know, Pikachu. It doesn't make a difference for you. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Day of death. What day of death? I can't wait to live right now because you want to make the sin. Why? She's right in front of you. What do you do? If there's a person in front of you, start screaming like a crazy person. Why? She'll run away. That's what the Gemara says. Start. Start screaming like a crazy person. She'll run away. Why? You're not going to run away. You don't have the courage. Start screaming like a crazy person. Now if you're by yourself, which is 99 out of 100 times...

2:00:1790 out of 100 times you're by yourself. What are you going to do? If you're in a house, if you're in a place that has a shower, go in a shower, turn on only the cold water. Take a cold shower. Only cold, no warmth. Zero, just right away. Don't even like dip into it. Jump right in. Why? As soon as your body cools down physically, your desires will cool also. If that's not enough, then take your fingers, right or left, same price, and pinch yourself in a part of your body that's relatively sensitive, usually behind the arm, behind the armpit, places that, no, don't hurt yourself, don't generate blood. We're not psychopaths, but if you're a normal human being, normal, again, normal, hence the key, normal, because some people like pain. That's not a normal person. If you're a normal human being, pain in general will lower your desire. Okay? So, that's the other thing you can do. Third thing, like the Rabbi said, do some physical activity. Push-ups, if you can't do push-ups, go on your tippy toes. Up and down, up and down on your tippy toes. Go up and down, up and down. After about 10 or 15, if you're like me, you're already tired. You don't want to do anything. You don't want to do anything. Best case scenario, you just want to sit down, maybe read something.

2:01:34Yeah, it's 15 times already. It's not worth the sin. It's not worth the sin. So you have to do something physical. Why? Exert some energy. Exert some energy. Obviously, turn off the video for heaven's sake by now. Turn off the video for heaven's sake. If you haven't turned off the video, nothing is going to work. So, turn off the video. And then do everything I just said: the shower, the pinching, the things. I mean, some of the chachamim say even other things, but I'm not going to mention it because people are going to just take it too far. But this is enough. If this still doesn't work, there's something wrong. Then we have to have a personal meeting. Something's wrong. This is usually enough for most normal people. For most normal people, this is enough already. Step one, two, or three. By step number four, something's wrong. So it's very, very important for a person to want to stop. That's really the biggest thing. If you don't have a desire to stop, you're just not going to stop. You're going to find any excuse in the book. You're going to find a rabbi that's going to tell you it's mutar. And I can give you a list of five rabbis that are going to tell you it's allowed. They all have a nice place in Gehinnom, but I'm not going to give you the names at least. The point is you have to want to stop. You have to want to stop. For example, I smoked cigarettes for 20 years. I liked smoking cigarettes.

2:02:52I actually liked it. My rabbi told me, "Listen, you're really not allowed to smoke." I said, "Why not? I like it. It helps me study. I'm up at night. It's this. I had all the excuses in the world. I'm learning Torah with the cigarettes. What's the problem? If I don't smoke the cigarettes, how am I going to stay up? How am I going to learn Gemara? How am I going to do this? How am I going to do that?" He said, "Listen, it's not Ratzon Hashem." That was like an atomic bomb for me. "Why? Bottom line, is this what Hashem wants?" "No." "Okay, so as long as you want something different from Hashem, I don't know, maybe we should start a new religion." So now that I know it's not Ratzon Hashem, okay, so now I have to figure out a way to stop because I don't want to stop. I like it, but you find a way to stop. You like the sin; don't say you don't like the sin. You like the sin. He says that... Don't say that you don't like the sin. Don't say you don't like pork. Don't say you don't like all of these different sins. Say you like it, because you do. But what can you do? Your Father in Heaven said it's not allowed.

2:04:04You understand? So the point is not that we don't like the sin. We like the sin, but it's not allowed. It's important to know it's not allowed. Now, when it comes to women, their general influence is usually more peer pressure than it is physical. Yes, it is possible in this generation to become physically addicted to intimacy, to pleasure, to being constantly with a new husband, and so on and so forth. Yes, there is an addiction that a woman can have. It's not to the same extent as men. Remember, If you want to be a bat Yisrael, you have to treat yourself like one. A bat Yisrael means that you are the daughter of Hashem. Now, the daughter of Hashem is not public property. Don't treat yourself like such. If you had a diamond that's a hundred million-dollar diamond, would you throw it in the air like a baseball? No. Why? Because it's not public property. You want to protect it. You want to preserve it. You want to be treated like the priceless jewel that you are in Hashem's eyes? Don't show your value to the world as if you're public property. The only thing that's allowed to be shown to the public is a garbage can. That's it. That's what you're allowed to show people—a garbage can. So, you have to pick: Do you want to be a bat Yisrael, a priceless jewel, or a garbage can? Which one do you want to be? It's your choice.

2:05:26Garbage cans, you can let anyone touch. You can let anyone see. They can peek in it. You can do whatever you want with the garbage can. Has anybody said, "No, no, garbage man, don't touch my garbage. It's mine." No, everybody says, "Touch the garbage. Do what you want with the garbage. Just get it out of here." You want to be the garbage can in Hashem's eyes? Then that's what you do. Let everybody touch you. Let everybody do whatever they want with you. You want to be a bat Yisrael, a priceless jewel? You have to preserve yourself. You have to treat yourself as such. Because what you do is going to carry a lot of weight for your future: how your daughter is going to carry herself, how your son is going to carry himself, how your husband is going to carry himself. Who wants to have a track record of 87 boyfriends by the time she gets married? When the guy is going down the aisle, everybody's like, "Oh, she was my girlfriend, she was my girlfriend, she was my girlfriend. I thought I was going to marry her." Who wants that? Same thing with the guys. Promiscuity is disgusting in the eyes of Hashem. So you have to treat yourself like princes and queens. How? By realizing that preserving yourself is a gedulah. It's something to admire. It's admirable. It's not something that's lowly. It's not something that's negative. So preserve yourself in order to get an eternity of good as well as this world.

2:06:47I just want to add one point to that, something that you brought up, I think, that was extremely, extremely important. The concept of when a person needs to change is such a fundamental concept in human psychology. We don't change because we want to change. We change because we need to change. You have somebody that wants to go on a diet. Someone wants to lose weight. So how do Americans usually diet? Every other Thursday, they start dieting again. And then they break it, and they start it again, and then they break it, and they start it again. They're on the same diet for the past 100 years. They have already lost 1,000 pounds. Because they lose 5 pounds, they gain 5 pounds. They lose 5 pounds, they gain 5 pounds. When does somebody actually lose weight? When all of a sudden, they go to the doctor, and the doctor says, "Hey, if you don't stop this, you're borderline diabetic." Oh, now you're going to stop. Oh, you don't stop yet? Then by the first heart attack, there's going to be a time when you decide that you need to stop. That's when it happens. When does a person stop smoking? Not everybody has the willpower of the law. You have some people who stop smoking when the doctor tells them, "You have a year left to live if you don't stop." Some people, even then, they can't stop. But you have to have, it has to be not, "Oh, I want to change."

2:07:51Even better yet, there are people that want to want to change. Like, I know, I know I need to, but I don't have that. I'm not there yet. I want to want to change. Chiddush that people come up with. But you think about it, you really want anything in your life. You want to be successful, you want to work hard, you want to, you know, gain a lot of muscle, you want to lose a lot of weight, you want to be a talmid chacham. It has to change from a want to a need. The second that you need something, oh, then you have willpower. If you really want to dress modestly, yeah, maybe. But if you need to, guess what? It's going to happen. If you need to stop wasting seed, it's going to happen. If, let's say, somebody, you know, the greatest capitalist alive, comes over to you and says, the next time you waste seed, this person's going to die. Obviously, OK, this is a hypothetical situation. Don't misquote me on this. And assuming you love this person, obviously you'll be like, tell me now. Assuming you like this person, you love this person, will you ever again do that? No. Why? Because all of a sudden it changes from a want to a need. I disagree. I disagree. OK.

2:08:58If it was a random stranger, you wouldn't care. But here, it's someone you love, so you want the person to live. Life or death is something completely different. If you want something, you will do it. If you need to, you feel like a servant to the task that you're doing. It's completely different. So how is that disagreeing with what I said? You just said we're coming to... You're saying if you want, you're not going to do it. If you need to, then you're going to have that push. A person can need to do something, and a person can want to do something, and they can both do it. You have somebody that needs to smoke, and they're gonna die. People do that all the time. I'm not saying it's only this and not the other. I'm saying success rate. Success rate happens when you change when it is a need. Really? So go to any hospital and look at the people that have to go. And look at the people that are majorly obese in America. Look how many of them change their diet versus doing surgeries to remove half of their stomach. to close their, I mean, to tighten their tubes. Again, you're not disagreeing with me. You're saying the same things in different words. No, they aren't doing the thing. They're not doing it. You just told me they're morbidly obese, so they need it. But they're not doing it. They're losing weight. It doesn't matter if they're getting a band or they're getting it sucked out, or they're just doing the healthiest thing and putting the fork down. At the end of the day, they're coming to the right conclusion.

2:10:20We're not disagreeing. I mean, you're saying it in a different way, which is fine. You want to say it that way, you know, do whatever it is. We're saying the same things. I think that when it comes to mankind, the number one motivator that people have is typically fear. People don't drive fast on the highway because they're scared of getting a ticket. They're scared of getting pulled over. They're scared of having an accident. They're scared of things like that. People don't go on long vacations because they're scared of losing their job. They're scared of losing certain things that they've built up. Most people that drive have the money to pay their tickets. If they're going to have a car, they're going to lease a car, they're going to own a car, they're going to pay maintenance. But they still don't drive fast because of other reasons. Because they don't want to pay. It's not that they don't need... having an accident. They're scared of things like that. People don't go on long vacations because they're scared of losing their job. They're scared of losing certain things that they've built up. Most people that drive have the money to pay their tickets. If they're going to have a car, they're going to lease a car, they're going to own a car, they're going to pay maintenance. But they still don't drive fast because of other reasons. Because they don't want to pay. It's not that they don't need They don't want to. People don't want to pay $150. Okay, so the point is, like I said, there are many different things that cause fear. One cause is the ticket. Another cause is a car accident.

2:11:33That's what's my proof. My proof is that no one here is going to drive 150 miles an hour on the way home. Not a single person here. And every one of your cars most likely can reach 150 miles per hour. But you're not going to drive 150 miles per hour if you're a normal person. Why? You don't want to get into a car accident. Now, you can get into a car accident. You can. And maybe you even have really, really good airbags in your car that are going to pop up and save you. But you're still not going to want to do it. Why? Because you're scared. Fear is the number one motivator for people. That's the way HaKadosh Baruch Hu created us. Now, as far as the desire to want to do something, that can be as big as fear, but it's not naturally that way. It's not natural. You don't want things naturally more than you are scared of them. The natural instinct of a human being is to be scared of things and to operate based on fear. If a person develops something, works on themselves, they can develop a desire to actually do something and overcome their fears. But not because they want it. They just want it more than they're afraid of it. That's it. It's not that they want it when they're not scared. It's just that they overcome it. That's it.

2:12:46Okay, next question. Well, I guess we'll go this way. Does anybody here have a question? Yeah, nothing to do with what you said, what the topic was about, but I'm not understanding why you're constantly saying, why would you take that chance, that 1% chance? That's how you get people to do what you want them to do. I mean, if I were to tell you to take antifreeze and probably you're going to cure your cancer or cure all your illnesses because there's that 1% chance, you're not going to say, "I'm going to take antifreeze because there's that 1% chance that I could be cured." But then 99% said I'll overdose and die. Yeah, you're flipping the thing. She's saying because I said that let's say there's a 1% chance. Let's say people don't believe in the Torah. They have to believe at least this possibility because they don't know. They're not the best. They're not smarter than everybody in the world. They're not smarter. They don't know everything. It's possible. It's possible. But you're flipping it a little bit. I hear where your logic is coming from, but you're flipping it because you're saying, like, let's say you use the example of antifreeze curing cancer. You say go and drink antifreeze because there's a 1% chance it will cure cancer. You're flipping it from the positive angle.

2:14:07in black shoes will release a negative energy within your body and will result in... I think we should stay on topic. Yeah, let's keep those questions. I'll answer it. Let's finish this topic, and I won't think about that. Then we'll go to believing in Hashem and all the other wonderful things that people like to deny. The rabbi said that when you see something, it's going to stay with you forever, right? So doesn't that result say that if you cry and you put the tears on your forehead, that it's going to erase that forever? You can. You're erasing sins. It's not erasing a memory. Meaning that what ends up happening is that everything gets recorded and it goes into your subconscious. So your best case scenario is to do enough mitzvot as well as do certain things that the mekubalim recommend, whether it's taking your tears, putting them on your forehead, that wipes the signs of the sin that you have. But in essence, those memories go to the back of your mind. So when you have enough Torah, in essence, what happens is that you immediately think about the Torah that you've learned and not about the sins that you've made five, six years ago. So that's generally what happens. It's not that the sin just disappears and you forgot that it even happened.

2:15:19If you made a sin, even if it was 35 years ago, someone might remember and say, "Hey, Joe, do you remember what we did 35 years ago?" Until now, you didn’t think about it. But if that Amalek comes to your house and says, "Remember what we did together 35 years ago?" Guess what? You're going to remember. No matter how much teshuva you did, you're going to remember it. Okay, give him the microphone again. You said that teshuva, you don't get assistance from Heaven for the sin, and then you said to pray for assistance. So how do you correlate those two? Okay, so that's a good question. So if the sages tell us that you don't get assistance for this, then why are you praying for it? With prayer, you're able to accomplish so much. Even things that are not coming to you, you could go and you can get them. What's an example? Let's say somebody prays that they want to marry this person. And you're not supposed to pray that you want to marry this person. You want to pray that you marry the right person. But let's say somebody really wants to marry that person. If a person prays and prays and prays, they'll get that. They can have the ability to change. That's the free will and that's the power of prayer. We also see this by Avraham Avinu. Avraham Avinu passed away when he was 175, because Yitzchak and Rivkah kept on praying and praying and praying for children. Really, the children, Esav and Yaakov, were supposed to come five years later.

2:16:32And Avraham was supposed to pass away at the age of 180, just like Yitzchak. But why did he pass away early? Because, you know, you already prayed. You prayed so much that I have to answer you. That's the power of prayer. And when Esav and Yaakov were 15 years old, and Esav did something that was, you know, he went off the path, and Hashem didn't want Avraham to see it, so that's why He took him in that aspect. Again, it's a whole lecture in itself, that aspect. But prayer has the ability to go and give you something, even, you could say, to the extent that you weren't originally supposed to get it. So, of course, even if someone tells you, you go to some big rabbi and he tells you, "You're never going to get married." Pray and pray and pray and pray. You keep on praying and you break through with your prayers. You're not supposed to do this, but let's say reading palms. There's a certain Kabbalist that I know who knows how to read palms. And he says he doesn't read them. Why? Because when you have somebody go and pray, it changes. It changes everything. You have the power to change. That's the power that you have with prayer, even if it wasn't originally in the... a line for you. The lady is here. Do you guys read Tehillim on a regular basis? Yes. OK. There's a Tehillim where David says to HaKadosh Baruch Hu, "HaKadosh Baruch Hu, they're lying about me." What are they lying about you? Who? It's the angels that are lying about me. The angels are lying about David HaMelech Kodesh Kodashim.

2:17:55So Chazal says, what is David HaMelech saying here? David HaMelech says that every time a person does a mitzvah or commits an aveirah, he creates an angel. If he performs a mitzvah, he has a protective angel. If he commits an aveirah, he has an accusing angel. So he says, yes, I have sinned, and these angels, they’re lying about me. Why are they lying about me? Because I've already done teshuvah. I've already done teshuvah, so they’re talking about the old me. So Chazal says to us that what do we learn from here? We learn from here that the prayer, Rav Dessler says, when we pray, what, Hashem is going to change His mind? Hashem doesn't change His mind. Hashem doesn't change His mind. What happens through prayer? What's the point of prayer? The point of prayer, Rabotai Yekarim, is not for HaKadosh Baruch Hu to change His mind. If the Zohar HaKadosh says, there's no siyata dishmaya for this sin, guess what? There's no siyata dishmaya for this sin. But for who? For the old you. The old you doesn't get siyata dishmaya. The new you, after you pray, you cry to HaKadosh Baruch Hu, "Hashem, I'm sorry. I can't believe I killed so many souls. Hashem, I'm sorry. I can't believe I caused so many young men to sin. Hashem, I'm sorry. I can't believe I went against You. Hashem, I'm sorry." You start crying for HaKadosh Baruch Hu's babies. Guess what? It's a new you. It's a new you. Through the tears, it's a brand new you. That person gets siyata dishmaya. That person gets whatever he wants. He can get a whole world if he wants. He can get 310 worlds.

2:19:24They went. Why? Because they have. So that's a different person. But that's the thing. The question is, did you do it? Did you do it, or did you just go, like a lot of people, they go to the Beit Knesset, and they're already thinking about their vacation? If you cry to HaKadosh Baruch Hu, you get whatever you want. But like the Rav says, you have to do serious, serious stuff. Serious teshuva. Yes? Mike, Mike. Because the camera can't. I can hear you, but the camera can't hear you. We need to thank David, first of all. I didn't say that. Thank David for setting up and arranging everything. Thank you. He stayed around to go and make sure people hear it. So, thank you very much, David. If, let's say, a woman works on her middot and she's very careful about it or cares a lot, will that mean automatically that her husband is also good in that area? Or should she pray for him, even if she's not married yet, just for her future husband?

2:20:29Yeah, I mean, our yetzer hara has nothing to do with his yetzer hara, but it says that somebody who comes to become purified, they give him a hand from heaven. So if somebody tries to become purified in a specific mitzvah, who will help that person? So if a person, if a woman, wants to be pure in regards to kedusha. The issues of kedusha, modesty, and so on. She wants to do it and she's doing something about it. Then HaKadosh Baruch Hu is going to help her. He's going to send her a husband that has yirat shamayim. He may not be perfect, but he's trying to be. He may not be the biggest, but he's trying to be. He may not be where Moshe Rabbeinu is, but he's trying to be. Just like she's trying to be. She's trying to be, he's trying to be. Perfect match. But if Hashem brought Moshe Rabbeinu and she's still trying to be something, it's not a good match. It's not a good match. So if they're both trying to be, they're both going to be. They're both trying to be, they're both going to be. But if she's trying to be and he's sleeping on the couch all day, then what do we do? So HaKadosh Baruch Hu says, if you're trying to become purified, I'll give you a hint.

2:21:35trying to become purified, I'll give you a hint. I'll send you the right husband, the right kallah, and so on and so forth. In the beginning it says, my dear friend Sonny reminded me this morning on the plane, he says a person gets the zivug based on his ma'asav, based on his actions. Based on his actions, what did he do? If he was righteous, he'll get a woman that's modest. If he's wicked, he'll get a woman that's immodest. Why modest and immodest, not righteous? It's supposed to be if he's righteous, he should get a righteous woman. If he's wicked, he should get a wicked woman. Why? If he's righteous, he'll get a modest woman because she's more likely to be righteous also. But if he's wicked, he'll get an immodest woman. Why immodest? Because if she's immodest, she's definitely, definitely wicked. If she's immodest, she's definitely wicked. She could go to the Knesset five times a day. She could read the entire Tehillim 25 times a day. But if she's immodest, in the eyes of Hashem, she's definitely wicked. Why? She cares less about society. She only cares about herself and what she wants and how she wants it. She cares less that she's causing other men to have hirhurim, have different thoughts about her. In fact, she even likes it. She likes that men are thinking about her. She likes that the guy that's married and having some marriage problems...

2:22:52is now thinking about this 25-year-old, this 25-year-old. He's thinking about her. So now he's thinking, maybe I shouldn't be married. I'm already having marriage problems as it is, and this 25-year-old just winked at me. She likes it. She likes that attention. So Hashem says there's no way she's righteous. So that's why a person needs to try. Try, try, try, and if they fail, try again. I have a question. Before we get into that, I just want to add one thing. I'm not getting into any of that. I just want to answer her question. I took four pages, but... So I think, yeah, you should pray. You should, like everything that your brother Reuven said, but in addition, yeah, pray and pray and pray. Pray for your future children. There's no such thing as a prayer that goes to waste. So pray as much as you possibly can. Yeah. We had a question from somebody earlier regarding nocturnal emissions and that it's a natural process that occurs on a regular basis to somebody who doesn't release seed, as we phrased it. Who are we to say? I know you started off with a jab at science, and that science changes, and then you ended off saying that change is good and that change is necessary, especially since it talks about what is said in that scientific...

2:24:07consensus should establish a precedent above Torah or above rabbinical opinion. So considering that and considering that our body is naturally going through this process, who's to say that Hashem hasn't created our body with the intent of it releasing? this seed, and it's not something that's only healthy scientifically, which the Rambam says we should follow, but that we should pay attention to that mitzvah that Hashem created our bodies like that. There's a difference. You only know the perspective of a person that wastes seed. I know the perspective of both. So, while a person who knows the perspective of someone who wastes seed, he knows, wait a minute, the reality of not having a wet dream is impossible. Why? Because the only reality that you know is one of a person who wastes seed. So, in your mind, you think that it's impossible to live a life without wasting seed, not on purpose, accidentally, like while you're asleep. Why? Because that's the only reality you know.

2:25:14I know both realities, and I can tell you, it doesn't happen to everybody. Why doesn't it happen to everybody? Why doesn't it happen to everybody? If you don't protect your brit, and you do it electively, you choose to do it, you are training your body to physically do it on its own as well, as a result of the things you see, as a result of the things you imagine, as a result of just simply your body having a need to do it. But as Chazal teach, in the Gemara Masechet Avodah Zarah, If you starve it, you have a small member in your body. If you starve it, it will be satiated, meaning if you only use it in a permissible way, your body will no longer have the same need as it did when you weren't starving it, when you were satiating it. This means you can go to sleep naturally, comfortably, without having a fear in the world that seed will come out, even though in the past you were. But after you've trained your body again and retrained it, it's no longer addicted. It's no longer addicted to releasing seed. What happens? Nothing. You go to sleep like a regular person. No, what you're doing is, by wasting seed and

2:26:37you are training it to do that. By not wasting seed, you're training it not to do it. I was having nocturnal emissions when I was 13, before I knew what masturbation was, even the word. Right, you're going through puberty. Right, so it's a natural process. It's a natural process to emit. So are we saying that Hashem made a mistake there? Are we saying that... The mistake that you're making is your understanding. That nocturnal emissions are unnatural, that we should be sexually repressing ourselves? No. See, if you actually, instead of reading Moreh Nevuchim, you should have gone to Kita Aleph. Kita Aleph... I've been there. I've done that one. No, I'm talking about Kita Aleph, meaning reading Mishneh Torah. Mishneh Torah will teach you about this particular sin. Now, if you look at Sefer Kedusha, Sefer Kedusha will tell you something deeper than what you're saying. It will tell you that the only reason why HaKadosh Baruch Hu gave you a body is to release seed. According to rabbinic opinion.

2:27:54No, according to the Torah. No, no, no, no. Depending on scientific precedent. According to the Torah. Rabbinic opinion. According to the Torah. HaKadosh Baruch Hu says, HaKadosh Baruch Hu wrote in the Torah. His words, not mine. HaKadosh Baruch Hu. We have to extrapolate from that and understand exactly what the text meant depending on how you translate it and adapt it to mean whatever you need it to mean. It says it's 50. 37 times. No, I understand. Don't change if science decides and says that now, you know, this is no longer good. That's not my point. My point is that all of the sources that were provided today with regard to specific curses and specific attributions or what occurs if you partake in the sin are all Rabbinic opinions. They've all been cited based off of Rabbinic authorities. Based off Torah sources. But they're basing it off of Torah sources, but their opinions of what happens if you were to do this is their opinion. You know, it's never seen in Oral Law and Written Law. Yes, I do know the difference. But my point is, if you're teaching this information, if you're teaching this information, I was, are you familiar with Jewish Community Watch?

2:28:57for pedophiles or something? Yeah. So I helped start the organization. I worked with them for four years. We went and hunted child molesters. One of the things that I noticed was a recurring issue in this world of child molestation is that people in yeshiva were so sexually repressed, they were so cut off from the idea of being identified with their bodies and understanding the processes, that they had to figure out a way to vent them. And that created this environment where older and more mature adults who were understanding their sexual processes more were using younger children to the extent that they were destroying their lives. Just because they were taught... You have the mentality of a Hollywood superstar. I'm sorry to tell you, I have no idea what you're talking about in regards to sexuality, in regards to psychology, in regards to Torah, in regards to anything for that matter. Because everything that you're saying is simply one big mistake. I could say the same about you, but I have facts to back me. I'm sorry you don't. We could sit down and have a longer conversation. I'd love to. No, no, it's not about a long conversation. It's that if you're going to challenge the Torah, you have to come with more. These are rabbinic sources. I'm not challenging the Torah; I'm challenging the rabbinic sources that you're citing. A mitzvah of wasting seed is a rabbinic mitzvah. It's simply silly.

2:30:15It says it countless times in the Torah, starting already with Sefer Bereishit. I just used one source. I can give you over 3,000 sources. The point being is that we're not going to have enough time. One thing has nothing to do with the other. If our body is doing that naturally, then why would God do that? Your body is urinating. Does that mean you should urinate in the middle of the street? If your body, if you can't control a nocturnal emission, you're saying you can train it over long periods of time. No, not long periods of time. I know from my yeshiva years that nobody was able to control it. I'm sorry for your yeshiva, and I'm sorry for them to have you as a student, but I'm telling you, if you come to my yeshiva, you're not going to have that problem. Right, because I assume that you use fear. No, I use Torah. Which is fear. You said at the beginning that if you learn Torah, the longer you learn Torah, the more terrifying it is. Because it's true, it's free. Right, so it's fear. If HaKadosh Baruch Hu can kill you at any moment, isn't that scary? And this is what you were saying about teaching children at the age of six that they should, about Gehinnom, scare them. Yes. So authoritarianism. Teach them to worship out of fear. No, it's called Yirat Shamayim. Okay. Yirat Shamayim means fear of God. If you're not afraid of God, there's something wrong with you.

2:31:25That means you think you are God. If you think you are God, then you should start your own religion. Maybe have some followers. There's another guy with a longer hairstyle. He also started a new religion. It's called Jesus. He started it. He didn't have a good end. It says that he has a nice bath right now. He's taking a nice bath in boiling feces. He started a new religion, too. He was Jewish, too, just like you. And he also inspired people who sit there at the same pulpit and with the same vehemence. They say the same information. Just the same, except spreading a completely different story. First of all, it's not the same information. And you cannot compare Christianity to Judaism in one iota, because it's on all different levels. But it's not the class, regardless. Let's try to keep it on topic. Let's go on to the next question. You have more, no? Oh, he has one. Yeah, next question. And then we'll go back to you. Yes, I want to ask a question on this. As I said before, typically it's selfish because it doesn't care about the impact on others. So I just wanted to ask, I feel like a lot of people, again, I don't know personally, don't make such a cheshbon, all these other people are going to do certain things because of me. Specifically in the case where someone would think they are being machmir, you look at different communities.

2:32:45Like in New York, the standard is always changing. So it's how do you kind of have that awareness for different people, different communities. We always have to... I'm sorry. No, I'm sure I'm fine. The question is, what's the level of cheshbon? Some people might not even think that they're doing anything wrong. So then what's the... for those types of people, they're never going to even have the initial thought that... Okay, so there are some people that are modest and some people... think they're modest. Right, right. There are some people that go... They wear extra. There is halakha, and there's going above and beyond. For example, is it halakha to have long peyot? Long all the way down there? Or is it something that's extra? So there's basic halacha. The majority of the time when you go to any kiruv-related speech, the rabbis tell you the basics. They don't tell you to go in advance, to the highest level. The basic level of what you need to do. And that is what is required by the Torah. More than that, it's a blessing that comes upon the person.

2:33:48But to know the nuances of what's regular and what's extra, that's where people usually need to ask the rabbi and say, "Listen, I'm at this level. I live in this community. What do I need to do? What's my level?" People need to figure it out. If you don't know, if the person, the woman doesn't know, she needs to ask. You can't go into it based on ignorance and say, "Okay, well, I never knew." It doesn't work that way. People need to go and find out. If someone commits tax fraud and they go to the government and say, "I never knew. It was my fault, I didn't know," the government isn't going to say, "Well, next time you better know." No, they're going to punish them. So, the same thing here; you have to go and learn the basics, the basic halachot based on the Torah. What's halachically required. I don't know if I answered your question, but I think the key is to always see, like I said in the beginning, always see what people say in the sefarim. So, regardless of what community you go to, whatever the community says. Okay, the community says you're going to go to Boca Raton. Rabbi Ovadia says it's perfectly fine to wear a skirt that just barely covers the knees. Why? Because according to his opinion. Can you see it in the book? No, you're never going to find that in the book. He says it, but you're never going to find it in the book. Why are you going to see it in the book? You see that it starts already in the Gemara Masechet Berachot.

2:35:05Well, it says, anything that's supposed to be covered, if it's not covered, it's considered nakedness. So the Chachamim said, okay, so what's supposed to be covered? What's not supposed to be covered? So there are typical things. Your face is not supposed to be covered, so you're allowed to show your face. Your palms, your hands, you're allowed to show them. But if you're already showing beyond your arm, then it's already considered nakedness. Same thing with your legs. If you're showing your feet, no problem. You show even the first third of your leg, up to the calf approximately, no problem. Once you start going higher, now we start having problems. Why? Because now it's starting to get closer and closer to nakedness. So the halacha is that the skirt is supposed to be six inches beyond the bottom of the knee after you sit down. After you sit down, regardless of whether you see this or you that, that's the halacha. Halacha means that's the law. Now, if your skirt barely covers the knee, or needless to say if you don't even have a skirt on and it doesn't cover anything, obviously you are not following halacha.

2:36:10Now, if the Chachamim already said something, that's something. In general, we should not aspire to be the minimum. Like if you're going to go into the business world, are you going to be looking to be the lowest level employee in the company or the CEO? If you're a Jew, you're trying to be the CEO on your second day. Why? I don't want to be the lowest level employee. Same thing with halacha. Don't try to meet the absolute minimum. So if the skirt, it says six inches below the bottom, that shouldn't be your aspiration. That should be the minimum. That's the guideline. That's the red line. Meaning you should go for longer. In reality... your skirt should reach your ankles. That's how a Bat Yisrael is supposed to walk—not barely playing with the red line. Don't play with the red line. The same thing goes with different things that a person does. In general, if you're constantly going to play with that red line, asking what's the minimum requirement and always doing the minimum, what ends up happening is that eventually that minimum becomes smaller and smaller, and eventually you break. On the other hand, if you're too much,

2:37:14you're a machmir on everything. You know, it says, okay, just don't cut your payot of the year. You start on your second day of teshuva, you already have a horse tail coming out of your head. You know, you just started doing teshuva, your beard is coming out, sweeping the floors. Oh, he really acts. We're like, first learn the Chumash, then grow a beard. So don't be overly righteous. Know that there are certain times to ask the rabbi, what should I do? What shouldn't I do? And so on and so forth. But in general, Generally speaking, don't just do the minimum, but don't do the maximum. Do what you know is more than the minimum. But ask your rabbi to guide you on how much more, what's the ideal? So that is a good guideline that applies across the board of the Torah, not just about clothing, but about everything. Even if somebody wants to sleep less, he wants to sleep instead of eight hours, he wants to sleep six, he should ask his rabbi if he's allowed. That's why it says. Next question. There are two questions over here. In the back, yeah, behind you. Here you go, President Yosef. So, if a person masturbates, is he going to go to hell? If a person wastes seed, he will definitely go to hell. Yes. Unless he does teshuva.

2:38:31So my work, they give a damn. Okay, so needless help. But they're Jewish and religious, and I have ladies and girls hugging me. I don't know why, but when I close the deal, they're like, wow. Oh, well, listen, it says in the Gemara that Gehenom continues to get bigger. Yeah, you could tell them I don't, or you could tell them I have a contagious disease. Why don't you come in? I have a contagious disease. They'll stay away. But no, really what you should tell them is, you know, like, stand up for... No. No. No, it says, it says, no, it does, actually. Yeah. It says, it says, no, it's not. I'm sorry to tell you, but the Torah does not use disgusting words. The Torah uses different words. If you go to Parashat Kedoshim, it says, "Kedoshim tihyu ki Kadosh Ani." HaKadosh Baruch Hu is Kadosh, therefore you be Kadosh, which means not only in your behavior, but also in your language. So HaKadosh Baruch Hu

2:39:45is not going to use any word to describe it. He's not some street gangster that's going to be up to date with the style and start saying what you say. He's going to use something different. Even promiscuity, he calls it kedoshim, the opposite of kadosh. He says, why? He says, don't be kedoshim. What do you mean? You just told me to be kedoshim. He says, no, over here kedoshim means don't act like a zonah, don't act like a promiscuous person. don't act like a promiscuous person. So HaKadosh Baruch Hu will only use specific words at specific times. If you're looking for your vocabulary, you have to look in something called Playboy or something there. There they're going to use your language. But Torah HaKedoshah is never going to use your language. It's never going to use your language. You have to know. You have to look in the right book. Your language exists; it's just not in the Torah. Not in the Torah. Now, HaKadosh Baruch Hu does say that if you waste seed, you're going to have a very serious problem. So much so that the Gemara, the Oral Torah, the foundation of our entire Torah, says that even if you just touch your member to urinate, not to do what you said, to urinate, and you're not married, there's no way you're going to avoid Gehenom. Even more so,

2:41:05If you're doing business, you have girls in your shop, right? So sometimes you exchange stuff, right? You give her like a paper clip or pen or maybe some change, some shekels. Shake hands, perfect. Now, now. I'll tell you. I was in the corporate world too. I was on Wall Street. Okay, sorry for you. But I was there too. Now, now. Moses, a person that does business, and the woman he wants to give change to, likes the way her hands look because she has a new manicure. He gives her the change slowly: one, two, three, 3.50, 3.75. Not because he's retarded, but because he likes the way her hands look, and... The Gemara says there's no way that he's going to avoid Gehenom. Why? Because if he's getting joy out of looking at our hands, for sure he's going to get joy out of looking at other things, and then he's going to waste seed. For wasting seed, for sure he has to go to Gehenom. Why? Because Gan Eden is 60 times the size of Earth. Gehenom has no size. Why? There's more population there, and it continues to grow. There's much more, there's many more people to go there, and...

2:42:29So, what does a person do if he works on Wall Street or a person works in the corporate world? He acts like a person that wants to protect his neshama. A woman comes to me and she says, I need a lot of people. Not all my lectures are only 50 people, 100 people. Some of my lectures have a few more. Now, sometimes the women are so excited, they want to give me a hug. Sometimes they're so excited, they want to shake my hand. You know what I say? I'm sorry. I'm married. And according to Judaism, I belong to my wife. I'm not allowed to touch your hand. I'm single. Now, you're single. Let me ask you a question. I don't know, I may be off, but based on the people that you hang around, are you in the cash advance business? No? You're not? It sounds like that, but I'll tell you like this: If you're hanging around Jewish people that don't care about the halakha, you need to find new friends. Because the point is, what everybody else is doing is not your business. What you're doing is your business.

2:43:32If everybody else started snorting crack at eight o'clock in the morning, are you going to start doing it? No, there you go, so what's the difference? I close deals also. Wait, wait, hold on a second. We went from they hugged me, even though I just closed the deal, to shaking hands. Now, you can find a leniency to shake a woman's hand for business purposes if it creates different issues and so on and so forth. But you're never gonna find a leniency for hugging them. You're never gonna find a leniency for kissing them. You're never gonna find a leniency for wasting seed. No one in a professional setting hugs after they close a deal. No one hugs, no one kisses, and no one wastes seed in front of each other in business. No one wastes seed in jail. I did business. I made a million and a half dollars in one day. One day of my business. So I know a little bit about business. I promise you, not a single day that I made a million and a half dollars, did I hug anybody. I didn't kiss anybody. I didn't waste seed. No, I didn't have the need for it. How come you do? What kind of business are you in? I do recruiting. Recruiting? So it requires wasting seed? No, I'm fine. That's fine.

2:44:46You have to hug them? You have to hug CPAs? Usually, they're fat. The point is, if you really want it, you can do it. The question is, do you want it? I never gave a hug to a girl. They hug me. I'm being honest with you. Okay, so next time... So next time, I know you're adorable, I want to eat you. But the reality is, the reality is I can't. Why? I'm already married, so I can't eat you. But you're single, so they want to eat you. You have to say, I'm single, but I'm married to HaKadosh Baruch Hu, so you still can't eat me. That's okay, let them think you're crazy. It's better for the whole world to think you're crazy than HaKadosh Baruch Hu to think you're a rasha. You know, I'll tell you like this. They're not going to think you're crazy if you say this, especially in our liberal world where everyone respects everyone. You could tell them you identify as a giraffe. And they'll be like, "Giraffes don't have hands, so I can't shake your hand." And they'll be like, "Well, I respect your opinion. Power to the giraffes." I don't know, whatever they'll tell you. But they will respect you. Don't think that you're going to lose out. I'll tell you once. There was once a business deal that was going on, and there were a few religious people there. One person went, and the women were shaking hands. No hugs. They were in a very formal place. One guy shook their hands.

2:45:59The next religious person came up over there and he said, "I'm sorry, I don't shake hands because I'm an Orthodox Jew." And I just saw that. You know what they thought? They're like, "Well, why did that guy do it?" And then they were thinking about that. But ultimately, they went, and they were able to not only appreciate it, but it puts you on a higher level. they were able to not only appreciate it, but it puts you on a higher level. Yeah, it's a respect, especially for people that don't, let's say, shave during the Three Weeks, for example. So like you say, you're doing it for a certain reason. People think we're always very focused on ourselves. For example, if you have a stain on your shirt or your suit, you're the only one who sees that; everyone else is just thinking about themselves. Like, you're old, you're going like this, you're so embarrassed. No one cares about you. You know what cures? Everyone is so self-absorbed. So, if you have a beard and you're not shaving, and whatever it is, you're not shaking hands. It's a split second, but ultimately, they'll respect you. They’ll be like, you know, you have things that you believe in, and you stand up for them. That's something to be proud of, not something to be like, "Oh, you know, I'm gonna lose a deal." You're not gonna lose a deal for that.

2:47:02You look at the Muslims. Oh my, how they pray. They put out their magic carpet wherever they are. They bow down without any embarrassment. Without any embarrassment. Yeah, that's what I saw today. Unfortunately, either we could do teshuvah and have that. Yeah, next question. Next question in the back. Yeah, at night or no? Well, Eliyahu HaNavi has to come three days before him. So I just had a quick question. Because you said something about Gehenom. You said that Gehenom, that eventually the soul is going to be tortured and then eventually it's going to be destroyed from the torture. Not always. Just the seventh level. Okay, the seventh level. What I thought of was, from my limited knowledge of what Gehenom is, it's more of like, for lack of better words, like a laundromat where you get purified and washed. You went to Chabad, didn't you? No. No.

2:48:15Well, for two weeks, then I ran away. But anyways. But yeah, so that's my question. Isn't Gehenom a place like a laundromat, like purification, rather than destruction? I'll take a short one. I know you're going to take a long one. The Gehenom is meant to, there's different levels of Gehenom, right? So you have, let's say, a regular person that didn't commit severe sins, or a regular good Jew that maybe messed up once or twice. They didn't do, whatever they, you know, to the level that only God knows. They go to Gehenom for X period of time, right? We say Kaddish for someone for 11 months because 12 months is usually the maximum sentence for a regular good person. There are people that either never get out of Gehenom. There are people that are. There are people that are. There are different categories. So yes, for the majority, but there is a point where, you know, you've just gone way too far. And the amount of is already at a different level, a different process for you. I know Rabbi Yaron Reuven has a whole, it's a three-hour class? Three and a half. Three and a half-hour class on this topic. And it's not even 1% of it. The thing is though, that the topic of Gehenom is similar to this, undiscussed in English language.

2:49:31Gehinom has, just like Gan Eden, seven levels. And each level has seven levels within it. And each level within it has seven. It's a very, very big place. And there are seven names for Gehinom. Sheol, for example, if you're going to go to Parashat Korach, it mentions that Korach, the ground opened, and he went Sheolah, or he went to Sheol. It's mentioned in two names. So what's that? What's Sheol? Sheol is one of the names of Gehinom. Tofteh is another name for Gehinom. Tzalmavet is another name for Gehinom, and so on and so forth. Across the Tanakh, there are seven different names for Gehinom. It's not called Gehinom. Gehinom is actually a place where they did Avodah Zarah, where they used to sacrifice children. But that's the lingo that we use in the Torah, across the Torah, for Gehinom. Gehinom has seven names in the Torah itself, in the Five Books of Moses, as well as the other 19 in the Tanakh. There are seven names. Now, Gehinom itself has six different major levels, and within them, like I said, there are chambers. Now, each sin has a signature on it. Each sin has a place that it belongs.

2:50:51A person commits such and such a sin, he goes there. A person commits such and such a sin, he goes there. How many times he committed the sin, who he committed the sin with, and so on and so forth. Now, there are certain sins that get a long sentence, meaning it's not one year or two years. It could be 5,000 years. But still, it's not forever. But there are sins that a person commits and does not do teshuva. The Gemara in Masechet Rosh Hashanah, pages 16b and 17a, says that this person will never leave Gehenom. Meaning, he goes in there and he doesn't come back. Which means, where does he go? He goes to the seventh level, and that place has specific sins, which are Chilul Shabbat Befarhesia, Chilul Hashem, and wasting seed on purpose. These are a few of the crimes that a person can commit. Huh? Seventh level, seventh level. If they don't do teshuva. If they don't do teshuva. If they do teshuva, they can even turn their sins into mitzvot. But if a person wasted seed and didn't do teshuva, a person violated Shabbat and didn't do teshuva, they have a very, very serious problem that's permanent. Now that level, HaKadosh Baruch Hu doesn't want to send you there.

2:52:01But if a person presses Hashem, he does certain things, Hashem has to do it. Meaning it's not that Hashem desires that a neshamah get destroyed. It's simply a cause and effect. If you put your hand in the fire, it will get burned. It's not that Hashem wanted your hand to get burned. It's that you're crazy. You decided to put your hand in the fire. What is it? Is He going to make a miracle for you? He can't. Meaning there's a cause and effect. A person does certain things, he has to go there. Why? Because the Torah is not just the rules for us. It's rules for Him too. He's limiting Himself. Because if it was up to Him, He'd just give everybody good, good, good. But then there's no point. There's no point to the world. So, generally speaking, there is punishment for a certain amount of time, but there are certain things that are as if you're violating the entire Torah, which is some of the things we're talking about today. A person needs to refrain from doing it because that's pretty much selling out God in so many ways. Ken? So, people that are in the workforce, and you were in the corporate world, can you share with us if you were perfect in the

2:53:08No, I went through Gehenom before I did teshuvah. I have a CD over there to tell the story. Okay, I don't know who I am either. I'm still trying to discover. No, so you see... How did I do? Okay, so here's the thing. My short version of the story is that everybody can do teshuvah in two ways. You can do it my way, you can do it the way I'm suggesting. The way I'm suggesting is relatively painless. You listen to the words that I say because I'm using the Torah, and you do it. That's the easy way. It's hard in your eyes because it's far, and everybody's the opposite, and so on. But it's hard on your eyes, and it sounds impossible. Or, you could do it the way I did it. One day, I decided that He's going to give me a personal shiur, a personal shiur. I went for an elective surgery, and something went wrong with the surgery. For the next 16 years, I've been fighting for my life. So, which one do you want? Do you want the personal shiur? And I don't even know how many surgeries I had. Or do you want the words that sound impossible? They sound impossible, but they're not impossible. So that's the difference. Everybody has to decide which shiur you want to listen to.

2:54:19There are two shiurim only. Even though it's Rabbi Zitron, Rabbi Yaron, same shiur. It's on YouTube, free. But that's the one that's just words. Or there's a shiur from Hakadosh Baruch Hu. A shiur from Hakadosh Baruch Hu is not the same type of shiur. Hakadosh Baruch Hu doesn't talk to us through words. He talks to us through actions. And it's not meant to scare you. It's meant to warn you that Hakadosh Baruch Hu is not a public speaker who's befriending you, trying to be funny. He's Hashem, which means that if He gave you a test, it means that He knows for sure that you can pass it. So, shaking hands in the beginning is going to be a little weird. Hugging in the beginning is going to be a little weird. Doing business in the beginning is going to be a little weird. But after a while, you get used to it, and it’s not weird anymore. Where do we learn it from? Rabbi Akiva. Rabbi Akiva, in the beginning, felt weird being in a kindergarten with four-year-olds. He didn't know how to bet. So his wife told him, "Listen, why don't you take a donkey, put a plant on him, grow plants on this donkey, and go to the market?" So that's what he did. And after a few days, he says, "What's the point?" She says, "That first day, everybody looked at you?" He says, "Yes, everybody said, 'Wow, look at this donkey with all these plants. Crazy. Wow. Can't believe it.'" Second day, everybody came. He goes, "No, half the people came only." Third day, 10% of the people came.

2:55:35After the fourth day, nobody even cared. She says, exactly. Everybody got used to it. Everybody got used to it. So in the beginning, they're going to think you're crazy. You don't hug girls at work anymore. You're not the same you anymore. You're not so cute and affectionate anymore. Guess what? After four days, what's up, John? What's up, Steve? How are you? How are you? No touch. No touch. She's never going to touch the CEO. She's never going to touch Donald Trump if he comes. She's never going to touch somebody who's important. Why are you treating yourself any less? You can do it. You can do it. You lived without it. You can live without it now. You just have to want it. In the back, I think he has a few questions. Yeah, before I do that, though, I just want to put one point. If you never have, you have to hear this lecture. It's probably one of the best lectures you'll ever hear. What is it? From Wall Street to the Western Wall? Okay. If you take anything, take one of them. There's a few of them. Wall Street to the Western Wall, it's one of the names where Hashem took, Hashem... Hashem took back my millions and gave me Emunah instead. That's the one that I did with Rabbi Zitron. It's on the CDs over there, the name and the lecture itself. It's a very, very inspiring story that gives you all walks of life, whether it be materialism or it be intermarriage or it be, you know, pretty much anything and everything that a person goes through. Baruch Hashem, HaKadosh Baruch Hu gave me a little taste of everything.

2:56:56And I went from one katzeh, one corner of the world, to a completely different corner of the world. I was smart just like you, and I was young just like you, and I had all the different things just like you. I'm not like a different species. It's just that, again, Hashem gave me warning signs. I didn't listen. I didn't listen. So Hashem said, okay, you don't want to listen? I'll give you a shur. I'll give you one. Some people, He gives them that personal shur early in their life, like He did with me at 26. I was 26 when I started getting a nice personal shur. Some people wait longer. Some people, He doesn't give them a shur. Like my cousin, he died; he was 50 years old. My other cousin, he died; he was 23 years old. Hashem decided, no, no shur for them. We have to go with something else. So you can't rely on it. The point being is that either way, at some point, everybody discovers that HaKadosh Baruch Hu is not kidding. It's just cheaper to discover it through this lecture. You understand? You didn't hear this time. Trust me, you didn't hear this time. Listen for the first 15 minutes. People fear. You talked about fear, right?

2:58:15People know that they're not supposed to do drugs. People know that they're not supposed to rob. You can't judge. Fear is not a factor. That's what I believe. So you understand what fear exists, but you don't have it. So if you look at the book by Rabbi Yisrael Salanter, they gathered his letters. Rav Blazer, one of his talmidim, put together all of his books. And Rabbi Yisrael Salanter writes that Yirat Shamayim is the only fear you need, but the only one that you don't have naturally. Human beings in general are afraid of everything naturally. We're afraid of bugs, we're afraid of heights, we're afraid of poverty, we're afraid of sickness, we're afraid of everything, except G-d. That's the one thing we're not afraid of. We're not. We're not afraid of it. Why? If you were automatically afraid of Hashem, there'd be no point to your life. Why? You'd be a tzaddik. You'd never make a single sin. There's no point to your life. So that's the only fear that HaKadosh Baruch Hu removed from you. Everything else you have naturally. Why? Because to fear Him is to serve Him. And that, you have to work on it. Meaning that yirat shamayim is something that's acquired, not learned.

2:59:33meaning you have to toil for it, you have to think about it, you have to delve into it, you have to meditate over it over and over and over again and understand why you should even be afraid. People learn about the subject of fear, they learn that there are things to fear, but they don't actually fear because they don't do the rest of the process. So that's the point. Yirat Shamayim, yira'o otzaro. That's what Hashem says. Yirat Shamayim, that's His treasure. What do you mean that's His treasure? The only reason why HaKadosh Baruch Hu created the world is for you to be afraid of Him. If you're afraid of Him, you'll serve Him. If you're not afraid of Him, you'll serve Him whenever you feel like it. Just like we serve the president. You're not afraid of Donald Trump unless he shows up. But if he's not here, you're not afraid of him. Why? You'll do whatever you want. You're not afraid of Obama or Osama. Why? Because he's not around. He's not the president. But if he was next to you, you'd be afraid. You're not afraid of Hussein. Why? He died. But if he was next to you, you'd be afraid. Meaning that fear is not real fear. It's just if he's there. HaKadosh Baruch Hu is always there. But the only way we can be afraid of Him is if we understand that. And that takes a little bit of effort. A lot of effort. Can you also learn to love Him and serve Him?

3:00:48There is no "instead." It's either both, or it's nothing. The highest level of fear is the beginning of love. First, you have to learn who Hashem is. As soon as you understand that Hashem is God, naturally that should make you be afraid. If you're not afraid, you're crazy. So once you acquire the highest level of fear, that's the beginning of loving Him. So then you can acquire both. But you can't love Him without fearing Him. But when you're teaching your kids, do you teach them at the beginning to fear God or to and like how do you do it on a teaching level with kids? Do you have kids? No, but I'm thinking of my future. Do you have brothers and sisters? Yes. Okay, when your mom told your brothers and sisters about the electric outlet, because one of them thought that the electric outlet looks really, really cool to put their finger in. What did you tell them? Honey, you know, that electric outlet may not be a good fit. Why? We're going to say, no, don't do it. Right.

3:02:05She taught me in the way that, like, you know, you're... It depends on the level of danger. It depends on how much time you have. It depends on the person. It depends on a lot of things. But the short answer is you need both. You need both. Abusive? Yeah, okay. This person was waiting. How many kids do you have? Okay, so when you develop a relationship with a single person and have a few kids with that single person, then you can become an expert. Right now, you don't know anything from this one or from that one, so I can't really take your value or opinion. They've been waiting back there for quite some time. Sorry. We spoke about how... The Shomer Brit is connected to Mazal and... So there's also the concept of Tzaddik... And we know that Tzaddik is a representation of Shomer Brit. How does that go together? On one hand, we have the concept of Tzaddik... No matter what, it's just bad. On the other hand, we're saying, oh, if we do this mitzvah, we're going to get reward, and the parnassah is going to come, and everything will work out. There's a clear concept in the Torah. It's a different matter. We may do the whole Torah, and nothing may work out, because that's just the gezar din min haShamayim. You have to understand something. You have to understand...

3:03:23there's no one linear equation when it comes to Heaven. There are so many, you're right. There are so many different things. There are so many different concepts that we cannot even begin to say, if you do X, Y, and Z, automatically, 1,000%, this is what's going to happen. We could say, if you do good, you'll get good. If you do bad, you'll get bad. But once you go into the details, We don't know what this person's past life was, we don't know what this person's previous actions were, and we don't know what Hashem's plan is, but we know one thing. There are certain things that the Torah tells us: if you do X, Y, and Z, this is what's supposed to happen. Oh, but let's say you have somebody who, let's say, tried that and didn't get the expected outcome. So again, there are so many different equations that come into play. For example, let's say somebody goes into the medical field, right? So they're taking some sort of drug to try to heal some sort of ailment. So they'll take it, and it's supposed to. There's a 100% accuracy. It doesn't exist, but let's say there is. But it doesn't work. Why not? Because there's another problem going on in the body that they didn't catch. So it's really that drug within a combination of another drug that they need. And then they do that, and then they see, it's like, think about it like this. Let's say somebody has a leak in the house.

3:04:26Let's say somebody doesn't live in their house. It's a vacation home, and they didn't winterize it. And they live in New York, so the pipes freeze. So they turn on the pipes, and everything is leaking everywhere. How do you know where the leaks are? You first close the water, you find one leak, and you close it. Then you open up the water, you find the next leak, and then you close that. And then you find the next leak, and you close that. Oh, but if you would, you know, the plumber says, you just close the leak. And then automatically, I should have the bracha flowing from my sink, the water. Ah, but what happened? Because there are a few leaks going on. Once you close off the leaks, now how do you know? You don't know until you start closing things up, and then you know where the leaks exist. So things are never linear when it comes to it. But there are certain things that the Torah tells us that this brings this mazal, this brings this segulah, this brings this punishment. There are also different medicines for different things. The same Gemara, Masechet Berachot, that talks about the tzaddik vera lo, rasha ve-tov lo, also says that there are seven different reasons why HaKadosh Baruch Hu... bring suffering to a person that we know of. Seven reasons. One of them is to reward him, elevate him, previous gilgul, and so on. And then there's the eighth reason. What's the eighth reason? HaKadosh Baruch Hu says I can do whatever I want.

3:05:34I'm good. I can do whatever I want, meaning He has His own cheshbon of why He does it. He doesn't want to tell you. How do we know this? He told this to Moshe Rabbeinu. Moshe Rabbeinu says, "How come this?" He goes, "Moshe, I'll do whatever I want. I'll reward, I'll punish, whatever I want, however I want." Yes, you have different reasons that this puzzle piece can potentially fit here, but He's not obligated to our rules. We don't rule God. He rules us, so... generally speaking, HaKadosh Baruch Hu gives us certain things that if we do, certain things will come from it. But the Rambam writes that the real reward for everything is not even in this world. The only things that you get in this world are a little bit, a minuscule part of the reward, in order to enable you to do another mitzvah or a bigger mitzvah. It's not really the reward because there's not enough in this world to reward anything. like the smallest mitzvah that exists, whatever it is, the reward for it is bigger than this world. Which means that whatever reward you did get out of it is not really the reward. It's just to enable you to get another mitzvah. So that's the thing. So if we start looking at things that way, we realize, listen, I'm just here to toil, to work, to serve HaKadosh Baruch Hu. The real reward is in the next world. You're going to stop looking for certain things. And also when certain things don't happen your way,

3:06:56Whether it's not getting the parnassah that you wanted, not getting this that you wanted. It's not that the mitzvah doesn't work. It's that simply HaKadosh Baruch Hu does not think, or knows, that what you want doesn't require what you want. You can fulfill that mitzvah without that money or without this thing. You can still fulfill that mitzvah that He wants you to. So whatever reward He gave you in this world will still allow you to do whatever needs to happen. So it's not necessarily a one-size-fits-all, as the Rabbi said, but generally speaking, if you ruin your brit, for sure you're creating havoc and a whole domino effect of damage. That's for sure. If you protect your brit, in general, you're also creating a domino effect of kedusha, but it doesn't necessarily mean it's going to come the way that you want it at the time you want it. The parnassah may come, but it may be five years from now. You understand? So that's also another thing. Next question. Somebody in the back. I just want to remind you again regarding the pasuk you said you were going to mention before we leave. That's one part. Another thing was you mentioned that other than what was prescribed with regards to making up for lost time, you said that it's good to try to spread the message or get the things out to your friends and try to prevent them from doing the same thing, sort of to try to correct it at its source.

3:08:24this topic is a very tough sell for people in general, and it's not something that people in general want to talk about. I have a friend, for example, anytime I try to talk about this topic, he cuts me off and he just says that, you know, he assumes that this is something that, like, if I'm not privy to it, it's not something that I'm aware of, that I'm not responsible for. How do you recommend getting around those types of issues and talking about sort of like a sensitive topic and making it more of a public thing? Generally speaking, I recommend you don't talk. You let me do the talking. That's what I recommend. Not because I know how you talk; you could probably be a better speaker than I am. But since he's your friend or your brother or your cousin, or somebody that knows you, by default, he doesn't want to listen to you. Me, on the other hand, I'm a stranger.

3:09:28So, by default, he's not going to feel like I'm attacking him. Why? Because I'm talking generally. I'm not talking about, "Hey, John Stevenson." You're in a crowd. I'm just talking generally. Whereas you are talking to him. So, automatically, he's defensive. He's like, "Oh, leave me alone. What do you want from my life?" So that's number one. Don't do the talking at all. Take one of the videos, press share. That's it. And don't do any accounting. Is it too much for him? Is it too little for him? The only thing you need to do is make an effort. We are responsible for the effort. Pressing share. It's the same thing in regards to people who have the question of what happens once you get older and you can't reproduce. You can't reproduce. Are you now no longer allowed to be with your wife? No, not at all. We are responsible for the effort, not the results in this world. Meaning you make sure that the seed goes in the right place, whether a baby comes out of it or not is not your business. Not whether you're 20 or you're 200, it doesn't make a difference, not your business. That's HaKadosh Baruch Hu's business. Whether it succeeds or not, your business is to do what Hashem said to do, which is the effort. Same thing with you, same thing with all of the mitzvot. You press share and...

3:10:36And that's it. Don't do any accounting. Is it too much? Is it too little? Is he ready? Is she ready? Are they ready? Don't do any of that stuff. Why? The Satan is going to give you all the excuses in the world to share some Care Bear story with them, and not Torah. He's going to give you every excuse in the world to share everything else but what you're supposed to. He's already doing the accounting for you. So don't do any accounting. Just press share because you know it's emet. It's true. That's it. Whether he presses it or not is not your business. Whether he presses it, listens to it, not your business. Whether he presses, listens, and follows, not your business. Your business is, you did it already. You press share. If he ends up doing all the things that are necessary... Oh wow, how much reward you're gonna get. But even if he doesn't, you still get reward. Why? Because you did your best. You did your best. Just add that, like he was saying, like, "Oh, I think he was going on like, if I'm ignorant on it, I won't get punished for it." I don't know if that was what you were...

3:11:37Right, so it doesn't work that, you know, like, explain to him, like, if someone, you know, through taxes or through, you know, he sells drugs to children. "I didn't know. It's plants. What's the big deal?" You know, like, "Oh, I never read," you know, like, it doesn't necessarily work. I do want to add what the Rabbi was saying regarding... When it's a friend talking, sometimes it can go very, very well, and sometimes it goes like, come on, just stop it already. It's so much easier to have somebody else speak about it. And I'll tell you what I've had done. For me, I had people, let's say, they come to my shiur. Before they come to my shiur, they give me a call and they say, I'm bringing this friend. He has this and this thing. Put it in there somehow. i do. We sneak it in. We put it in there. He says, nah, he's talking about something else. He's talking about the destruction of Yerushalayim, whatever it is. So then this way, it's not like sneaking it out. It's just like breaking into the door, and then you speak about a topic that they're affected by. I've had people that came over to me afterwards and be like, wow, this is something that I've just been dealing with. Really?

3:12:41I don't tell them that their friend said that, but it's a little bit, be creative. You can be creative with these types of things. And even, by the way, even if you tell them, and you send them, and they listen to it, and they don't change, deep down it affects the person. They might not change now, but eventually it will click for them years down the line. I have people that reach out to me when they are 60 years old; they haven't been religious for 40 years. And all of a sudden, something that the rabbis said stirred something within them. It could have been a bunch of other things, but nothing goes to waste. Your effort doesn't go to waste. It's going to have an effect at some point down the line. Finally, I would say pray for the person. You have to realize if someone is very twistedly involved in this, like the Rabbi was saying, one thing leads to another. I know people that I've dealt with on a personal level that they started off at a young age with a very big problem with this, not like the general, like a little bit on the higher level of a problem with this, and they ended up men with men, men with women, like everything to that point. So it does have that. And I asked, I asked, and when I speak to them, I’m like, is it true? Because they didn't have these types of ta'avot, these types of temptations beforehand. So, you know, like, again, is there a science behind it? I don't know. But I'm just telling you from my experience of what I dealt with. So it's very beneficial to try, you know, to the best of your ability. Yeah. Yeah.

3:14:11Are they still responsible for something? Because I think that's kind of the mindset that my friend has. Like, I'm not aware of that, so therefore I can't be punished for it, or I don't know it as deeply as what you're explaining it to be, so therefore it's not as severe as what it should be. Right. So like you just said, the person that doesn't know the law doesn't mean that it absolves them from the law. But even the Mishnah in Avot from almost 2,500 years ago says, that if you make a mistake and you make a sin, not because you know. Shogeg, shogeg is accidental. But if it's shogeg because you didn't learn, meaning you elected not to learn Torah. So that's mezid. Meaning that even though the sin itself was accidental, the lack of learning was on purpose. Therefore, that accidental sin is counted as a purposeful sin. So there's no "get out of jail free" card. If a person intentionally does not know, then all of those accidental sins turn into purposeful ones.

3:15:23So it's a person that wants to, you know, play a game with Hashem. That's called... You treated Hashem with casualness. And you can look at... What happens to such people? It's actually scarier than Gehinnom. Scarier than Gehinnom. And... Those two ones. They say all types of things like, Person to get the starvation, eat their kids, all types of wonderful things that we could talk about in a different shiur. But the point is that all of those people that are trying to, you know, fool Hashem, if you will, it's a very, very bad idea. And in general also, you're gonna hear sometimes where a rabbi will say, "No, no, it's better you don't tell them because that way it's an accidental sin and... That is a mistake to such an extent that the rabbi gets the sin, on top of the guy getting the sin, the rabbi also gets the sin. Why? Because he's obligated to rebuke. There's a mitzvah called "Hocheach Tochiach Et Amitecha" (You must rebuke your people). If you don't rebuke them, you get the sin also. But on top of that, it's a "Chilul Hashem" (desecration of Hashem's name), which is an additional sin. And generally speaking, lack of knowledge does not absolve the person from rebuking.

3:16:49So if you know that he's sinning, it doesn't mean that, oh no, he doesn't know, so it's okay. It doesn't absolve you from the crime. Even if it lowers his crime, that it's accidental, you're still obligated to tell him. So by you not telling him, you're making a bigger crime than he is, in essence. So it's not helping him. It's not helping yourself either. So that's also another thing that people don't take into account. The point is that there are no shortcuts. Nobody's going to fool Hashem. Hashem knows what He's doing. That's only when it comes to rabbinical mitzvot. When it comes to biblical mitzvot, like Shabbat, kashrut, things like that, the Rambam writes in Halacha, you have to rebuke him until he beats you up. Until he hits you physically. That's how you have to rebuke him. But if it's a rabbinical mitzvah, for example, washing your hands, and you know this guy, you tell him to wash his hands, he's going to start kicking you or something. You don't have to do anything. You're absolved. Why? It's a rabbinical mitzvah. He has his own cheshbon with Hashem. He has his own problem. But if it's driving on Shabbat, you have a serious problem. You have to tell him. There's no, "Oh no, no, no. He's driving on Shabbat. He's not going to listen anyway." It's not such a thing. Why? Because then you cancel the entire Torah. Cancel the entire Torah. All of Am Yisrael is a stubborn nation. Nobody wants to listen to anybody anyway.

3:18:11So, pretty much cancel the whole Torah. That's the same thing when people say, "No, no, but everybody's doing it, so it must be okay." What? So there are 15 million Jews violating Shabbat, so it's okay then? 15 million people eating non-kosher, does that mean it's okay? Cancel the whole Torah. There's no such thing as "it's okay." HaKadosh Baruch Hu knew what He wrote when He wrote it, and He knows what's okay and what's not okay. And again, everybody gets their chance. Everybody's going to be given their personal chance to see what the truth is. If they take the truth and run with it, Hashem. If not, they'll have to pay for both. Next. exploring a bit. She doesn't dress modestly at all, really, except if she knows that she's going to see me. Let's say she'll cover up a bit more. Do I have to share something with her because I don't know if she's ready for it. I don't know.

3:19:31She's just not frum, like, really. If she's Jewish, then she needs to be ready for at least 3,300 years. Okay, fine. Bring her to the Thursday classes. It's obligatory to be ready. Bring her to the Thursday classes. Yeah, bring her to Rabbi Zitron. I'll make sure she's ready by the end of this year. One hour, she's ready for everything. One hour, she's ready for the entire Torah Kula. You have to let me know beforehand, though. Yeah, Divinity Series, you're ready for the whole thing. You want to be a Rebbetzin. But sometimes, like, let's say somebody a lot more answers, I could get in trouble. Oh, you know, like, starting a conversation, you know, and they bring up all this scientific stuff and everything, which I don't know anything about. So how do you get into that type of conversation? Like I said, you don't talk. You let him talk. He's a scientist. He has a whole series about Torah proofs of science. Once they talk to him, if they're normal. Yeah, but they're not, they're not going to, they're not going to, no, they're normal, but they're not, they're not going to go and they're not going to listen to a rabbi. They don't even listen to, you know, they don't even listen to you. And especially not even a rabbi. You can't force them to drink.

3:20:39So, I mean, I have a few types of people that listen to Teshuvah. Some people listen, they do Teshuvah. Some people listen, they take it slowly. Some people, they listen, and they make fun. They make fun. So, each one has a different chamber. One is Gan Eden, one is another. That is Gan Eden, one is Gehinnom. So, this is a place for everybody. So, give him my CD. I'll tell him. The easiest thing to do is never tell. If you feel uncomfortable, then you get discs, forward stuff. Yeah, be creative. Give him a CD, give him a link to one of my shiurim. Don't say what it's about. You could be like, "Yeah, this was crazy. You have to listen to it. I think you'll like it." That's it. Essentially, no matter what, be relentless in imposing your beliefs on that person until they hit you. It's not our beliefs. It's God's beliefs. Right, but I mean, Christians don't believe, or Hindus don't believe that. We're not imposing on Christians or Hindus. Right, you're imposing on other people who don't believe that. In other words, I don't believe that, right? So is it your responsibility to rebuke me and to ridicule me? No, actually, you're not allowed to help me. You warn me until I hit you? No, you're not allowed to help. No, I'm saying you. I'm telling you, you, I'm not allowed to help you. You're not allowed to help me. No, you're considered an apikores.

3:22:03A min is somebody that causes other people to go against Hashem. Even if you wanted to do teshuvah, I can't help you. You're in that category. So that means that you, if you want to do teshuvah, you have to do it by yourself. But I'm not talking about me, per se. I'm talking about people who don't necessarily believe in what you're saying. A lot of people don't believe in what you say. A lot of people don't believe a lot of things until they believe it. I just looked at a picture of you on Facebook, and they're like, why would you listen to that? But this is all... Like I said, you're a min. So I understand, but I'm saying that a lot of people don't follow what you're saying about this. There are 8 billion people. So you're saying that everyone here should impose what you're saying. They should impose it onto other people. There's something called Torah. No, it's not. It's 100% interpretation. Of course they do so. That's what the sources are for. Like I said, you're somebody, you're somebody that even if you said you want to do teshuva, we're not allowed to help you because you sat here for three hours looking for something that's wrong. That's called, I mean, all the wonderful definitions in the Torah you have. There's a whole section about you in the Rambam.

3:23:21and he talks wonderful things about you. What kind of Gehinnom you're gonna have? They're gonna bathe you in it. What are they gonna do to you? You and Yeshu are gonna have your own villa together. That's okay. The problem is that you don't have the capacity to have a respectful dialogue with somebody who is challenging you on an intellectual level. But it's not an intellectual level. You are more emotional than anybody else. You're not speaking intellectually. You're speaking based on emotions. Nothing that I'm saying is based on emotions. Yes, it is. And when I debated you back in November, it was also not based on emotions. It was very much emotion. It was 100% emotion. Emotions and I have the video to prove it. So do I. But the point that I'm making is that if you're telling people to impose their beliefs on others relentlessly until they... What are you doing? I'm doing the opposite. Exactly. You're doing the same thing. You are kofel by yourself. You're a heretic of yourself. You're justifying that action. No, you're doing the same thing. Everybody does it. Everybody does it. Everybody that has an idea. Everybody that has an idea shares the idea. The difference is I have an obligation. You just have no reason to exist. Your premise is predicated on, you said at the beginning, you said double check everything, right?

3:24:48Do you have any data to back any of your claims up? Everything. What? Everything I have. You said that the Holocaust was because people were masturbating. Do you have data to back that up? Who? And are you standing by that? Yes. So how do we know that? Because he said it? Because he said it. Oh, so therefore it's true. Yes. That's called emunat chachamim. That's how you check things? That's called emunat chachamim. Something you would know nothing about. Those are your sources? Chachamim. Somebody said something? See, there's the difference. The Gemara Masechet Shabbat says... Wait a minute. You do the same thing. Hold on a second. Let me explain something to you. The Gemara Masechet Shabbat says... You know what Masechet Shabbat is? Shh. It's actually in the Gemara. Okay. So Gemara Masechet Shabbat says, the Chachamim at that time said, our sages, the ones from the previous generation, they were like angels. But if they were like humans, we would be like donkeys. If they were like humans, we would be less than them. We're like donkeys. They were like angels. Maybe we're like humans. The Ben Ish Chai says, if the Chachamim are considering themselves already donkeys,

3:25:56then we're less than donkeys. And if you think you're the same as Rabbi Aharon Ra'ata, or any chacham, even from five years ago, if you actually think you're the same as Rabbi Zecharya Wallerstein, you, my friend, are a donkey. Why? Because you think you are on the same level playing field. Because you have Aleph Bet knowledge. And you read some websites and watched some YouTube videos. Okay, you read some website. What's immediately if you read half the material he read? Half the material he read, then you'll have a different perspective. But here's the problem: you are one of these people that's looking for something wrong in order to justify yourself. You don't want to accept it. Okay, what's the problem with the Rabbi? You don't have a... How can you blame the Holocaust, the slaughtering of six million Jews, on a natural process that human beings and all other animals are subject to? Let me ask you a question. Let me ask you a question. Let me ask you a question. Let me ask you. Hold on a second. Hold on a second. Who was at fault for the Holocaust? Who was at fault? Yes.

3:27:03But there's a huge social explanation to that. Did you read Mein Kampf? Did you read Mein Kampf? By any chance? Oh, you didn't? So you have no idea what the Holocaust is. What do you know? YouTube? I've read many passages from Mein Kampf. Passages? I've not studied the entire text. Let me tell you something. Are you trying to use an authority fallacy? Is that what you're trying to do? You're saying unless, you said before, that I won't know an abusive relationship unless I'm married with kids? You think that only people married with kids know? No, you just don't know anything about anything. Right, right. You want to disprove the Torah, but you don't know the Torah. No, I want. We have, but you don't accept the source. I have a source. A Rabbi said it, and therefore... come to me and they say, "My shaman said, therefore it's true." No, you cannot compare a couch to a human. And they said, "The Bible, the New Testament says this, therefore it's true." They threatened me just as much as they threatened him. I'm not threatening you. I have nothing to do with you. They say, "If you don't accept Jesus in your life, you are going to..." Why are your parents Jewish? How do I know? Why are your parents Jewish? How do I know what their Jesus says? Go. Why are your parents Jewish? I'm asking you, how can you back that up? Why can't you back that up? Your parents Jewish? Yes. Your grandparents Jewish? Yes. Your great-grandparents Jewish? Probably.

3:28:07So then you know better than they believed in it. Okay, Christians, Christians, grandparents were Jewish, Christians, grandparents were Jewish. Yeah, yeah, and they believe it. It's the same argument. So you know better than all your ancestors. Do we know better medically how to treat a body now than we did 1,000 years ago? Absolutely. Okay, so you think that you know better. Do we know scientifically how to create medications to treat illnesses now more than we did 2,000 years ago? No, we don't. Yeah, we do. So you, I'm asking not about we, I'm asking about you. The average person reading a newspaper knows more than somebody knew 1,000 years ago in their entire lifetime. I'm asking you personally. Do you claim that you know better about Judaism than your great-grandparents? I have no idea what my great-grandparents' knowledge of Judaism was. Your parents? Probably not. Okay, so then in your limited scope of Judaism, you know that you have less than your parents. I'm assuming that somehow your parents and your grandparents must have been religious. It doesn't mean anything. I know plenty of people in Yeshiva that they... I've debated you. A lot of your knowledge of Judaism comes from Christian sources. No, it doesn't. Yes, it does. Actually, almost all of my texts on my shelves are the Torah or Rambam or... All your proofs against that are the same proofs that I read on Christian websites. Any more on the topic of... Trust me, I've done the research just as much as you. You're wrong.

3:29:19I'm wrong about where my sources are coming from. I'm barely afraid of a single thing. If you claim, put it this way, if your grandparents claim they knew more than you, then maybe it will be incumbent upon you to make them think a little bit. Do you think your grandparents knew more about 10,000 years? Then what's 10 years? What's 10,000 years? The point is you don't need to go to a number of grades. I'm not following them based on their scientific knowledge. I'm following them based on their understanding. Torah now. Let me talk to you. I just want to say something online before I close off. Guys, guys, I'm sorry. I'm supposed to make one announcement and then we'll debate, whatever. But there's one announcement I need to make. I keep on forgetting that this is very, very important. Torah Anytime came out with, you know, we said that you need to learn Torah, you need to go and you need to gain more as much as you can. Some people have a very hard time listening to an hour, two hour, three hour, four hour lectures, you know, which you look at the rabbi sitting next to me, he's able to speak for many hours non-stop. So... Just like what Rabbi Reuven does, they cut it off into little, smart clips. Torah Anytime also, and there are plenty of WhatsApp chats. So, Torah Anytime created this amazing thing that for some people, let's say they're driving, they're going between meetings, they're taking two seconds—you can listen to a one-minute class, a two-minute little, little thing. So, I'm going to give you this number. Take this number. This number is very important. You go and you WhatsApp this number.

3:30:37The words "add me." And they'll add you, and every single day, you get a tiny, tiny little clip, a little dose of Torah that will go and help you. You use that, and you try to spread it out. These things are so interesting, so fabulous, so amazing. They have music in the background. It's done very, very professionally. I strongly, strongly recommend it. So take this number down: 929... Everybody, come on. We're going to wait until everybody does it. They're just going to watch the recording to get it. 355... Again, 929-355-4268. Text, WhatsApp, "add me." You're not going to regret it. Every day you get a tiny, tiny class. It's fascinating. It's amazing. It's going to change your life. Amen. There's a book over there. There's a small little book called Holy Nation that I brought you. You guys can take it for free. It has the Tikkun HaKlali at the end and also has different insights into the things that we discussed and things that he can manipulate and things that other people can learn from. I know his problem. His problem? He wants to sin. That's his problem. Everyone here has an issue. Yeah, he wants to sin. That's his problem. No, no, no, no. It's like from now going on until 120, it's not real to say you can't masturbate anymore.

3:31:53Everyone here. Let's talk reality. Reality, right? Let's talk real. They said it's upside down. Sorry, uh-oh. We can talk about whether or not it's beneficial or not. Just like it's forbidden to drive on Shabbat, it's forbidden to eat pork. Can you eat pork? It's delicious? Bacon is one of the most delicious things in the world. No, but that's what it says. But if you want to taste the taste of bacon, you can either eat a duck from Japan or a fish called Shibuta. Shibuta is found in Africa. But it's delicious. It's very delicious meat. But you're not allowed to eat it. Why? Hashem says no. Hashem says no. Meaning, you have to do it. Even though it's hard, you have to do it. What's the point? It's the whole Torah. He said, no, it's not allowed over here. Therefore, it's hard. So therefore, what do you mean? You can do that with the entire Torah.

3:33:09You have to work on it. The point is that you have to change your ideology. I'm working on it since I gave up. You gave up? I didn't give up, but it's not reality. It's not reality. There are a few things that are hurting you. Number one, you curse non-stop. The Chachamim say when your mouth is filthy, so is your Brit. It's connected. So is your Brit. Number one. Two, your ideology is warped. You've mixed too much of the secular world into the religious yeshiva you learned in, and you almost view the secular world as superior, based on the way you talk. So, we already gained a lot. The point is that there's no such thing as "this is too hard" at all. There's no such thing. If HaKadosh Baruch Hu is HaKadosh Baruch Hu, that means that if He gave you a test, it must be a hundred percent that you can do it. Why? If you can't, that would make Him a vicious God.

3:34:19He gave you a test that you can't pass, meaning He told you, "Son, go lift an 18-wheeler on top of your head." Now, everybody knows you can't do it physically; you can't do it. So, if He gave you that test, that means He's just simply a vicious God. Now, if you think God is a vicious God, then why do you believe in Him? You understand what I'm saying? So, the point is that you have to understand if HaKadosh Baruch Hu gave you a test, it means that you can achieve it, and He knows it for sure. So the only thing that's limiting you is your own beliefs because you're listening to the Satan instead of to Hashem. Hashem says you can do it. The Satan says, no, you can't do it. It's too much. It's too big. 120 years. Who says 120 years? Just this week. Do it this week. After you finish this week, do it next week. After next week, do it the next week. Oh, it'll take about 120 years. Who says you're going to live 120 years? Worry about today. Today you can do it. Tomorrow you can do it. The next day you can do it. The next day you can do it. And every day, every day. Every day, one day at a time. Every day, one day at a time. That's the way you look at it. It's not just marriage. Marriage by itself is not going to solve the problem. The problem is going to be solved by an ideology. You have to understand, if HaKadosh Baruch Hu gave you a test, that means you can pass it. The people that try to simply cancel the Torah, simply, they don't care about the Torah itself, they care about the Aveirot. The Gemara Masechet Sanhedrin, page 63b, says it wasn’t that Am Yisrael thought that there's Avodah Zarah mamash. Beit HaMikdash, there was a lion coming from heaven every day to eat the korban. A lion, huge, giant, the size of a mountain, coming to eat the korban. You're going to believe in some idol you bought from Chinatown for $15? No, right? So how come Am Yisrael worshiped idols? How come?

3:35:34simply, they don't care about the Torah itself, they care about the aveirot. The Gemara Masechet Sanhedrin, page 63b, says it wasn't that Am Yisrael thought that there's avodah zarah mamash. Beit HaMikdash, there was a lion coming from heaven every day to eat the korban. A lion, huge, giant, the size of a mountain, coming to eat the korban. You're gonna believe in some idol you bought from Chinatown for $15? No, right? So how come Am Yisrael worshiped idols? How come? So Gemara says, no, they didn't believe in the idol. So how come they did it then? They did it. How come? Because in reality, you know what they didn't want to do? They wanted to do what they wanted. They wanted to go and commit sex crimes against Hashem. But they knew that as long, as long, as long as the rabbis kept rebuking, the rabbis kept telling you this is the mitzvot, this is the aveirot, this is Gan Eden, this is Gehinnom. Ah, you're roughing up my style. You're ruining my momentum. So what do I do? How do I get the rabbi not to come back? By telling him I am an idol worshiper.

3:36:39Why? Because I'm an idol worshiper. The rabbi is not going to care. He's not going to talk. He's not going to this. He gives up. Am Yisrael did this. Why? He said, we don't believe in the Avodah Zarah. But we have to stop getting the rabbis to come. How? Tell them we're idol worshippers. And that's what happened. That's it. That's the mentality of an atheist. That's the mentality of Christianity. Jesus himself, what? He learned. He learned. Can I finish? Jesus started by having a really good rabbi. But then he liked girls too much. So he followed his heart. He saw some girls and said, "Oh, she's cute. Oh, she's cute. Oh, she's cute. Oh, she's cute. She's so sweet." He wanted to go after the girls. So the rabbi kicked him out. And then, after he was kicked out, he wanted to come back. The rabbi tried testing him, but he failed the test. On the third time, the rabbi ended up going to him. But at that point, he said he didn't want to. He liked the sin too much. He liked the sin too much, even though Rabbi Yehoshua ben Barachah came to him to rebuke him and tell him, he said, "No, no, Rabbi, I'm already here. You told me that anybody who does these types of aveirot can't do teshuva. So I'm going to stay with my sin." In reality, can you do teshuva? Obviously, that's why the rabbi came. So what does it really mean? It means he liked the aveirot. He likes the sin. He likes being with this, and that's it. That's it. That's the only thing. The point is, do you like the sin?

3:38:05More than you like God. That's the only question. If you like the sin, you're never going to do teshuva. But if you understand the sin is delicious, but Hashem is even better, you'll actually do teshuva. You gotta think of it also as like one day at a time. You're thinking of like the big picture is hard. Alcoholics, right? They do one day at a time. And they try, and they work hard. People that were on drugs, they work one day at a time. Now, I'm not comparing it to alcoholism or drug addiction, even though on some levels, you know, you can. But what you have to think about is one day. For one day, you can do it. For five minutes, you can do it. Like you're walking in the street, right? You want to be modest. You want to watch your eyes. It's very hard to go. Let's say you're walking very far. It's very difficult for you to walk all the way home. So it's very difficult to walk all the way. But you could say, listen, five blocks. I could do five blocks. So you see, success breeds success. The more that you do it, the easier it will become. Amen. No, I said amen for the success breeds success. I thought you wanted to move over there. No, no, no. Come on. So the concept you have to think about is, it's very hard, every change. If you go to somebody who wants to lose a lot of weight, they think, "I have to lose 75 pounds." It's difficult to think about that. But two pounds you could lose, so you work on two pounds, and then you work on another two pounds, and then you work on another two pounds, and eventually, you do that. Most people don't become billionaires overnight. They work a little bit, and then they invest, and they work a little bit, and they invest, and they keep on trying, and they keep on working, and sometimes they lose money. It's part of the business. Sometimes they lose, sometimes they gain. It's the cost of doing business.

3:39:32Failure is the cost of doing business. You have to think positively for the success part, not negatively, thinking that it's impossible. Thank you. What was that famous saying? If you say that you can, you can. If you say you can't, you can't. Michael Jordan missed more shots than he scored. Really? Exactly. All failures, all failures. Lesson learned, you hogged the ball. All failures are necessary in order to succeed. But in general, generally speaking, If you only calculated your failures, you wouldn't get out of the house. You wouldn't get out of the house because, in general, you're going to fail more than you succeed initially in everything in life. The first time you try to write something, it comes out terrible. The first time you try to say something, it comes out terrible. The first time you try to do something, it comes out terrible. So if you just gave up immediately after you failed at something, you're simply not going to try anything at all. So the point is that failure is part of success. It's a necessary part of success. But the key is to have the right ideology. The right ideology is that I'm not giving up just because I failed. I'm only going to give up if I don't believe in it. If I don't believe it's true, then why am I doing it? And that's what the atheist tries to achieve. The atheist tries to convince himself...

3:40:48that he doesn't believe in it. Now, what happens? What happens with the atheist? Since betoch tocho, inside him, he doesn't believe it. But he tells everybody he does. Why? Because misery likes company. So he tries to go to Shiurei Torah and convince everybody else, "Yeah, this is what I believe, and you should believe, and you should believe, and I believe, and you believe, I believe." He tries to do what I'm doing, just the opposite. Why? Because he doesn't want to be alone and miserable and atheist and numb. So he wants to have some company. He wants to have some friends. Remember when we went to the Shiloach together? Right. You have a lot of friends. There's plenty of them. Plenty of them. Now, the point is that everybody, in the moment of truth, everybody believes in God. Everybody believes in God. The question is when you're going to admit it. When are you going to admit it? Are you going to admit it through your actions in life? Or are you going to admit it when you're looking at the abyss? Now, you see, the best thing about the atheists is that they're only atheists as long as they're alive.

3:41:51But as soon as they see death staring them in the face, like if you go to the hospice, you go to the hospice, everybody's religious. Everybody's religious in the hospice center. Everybody's religious in the hospice center. There's no atheist in the hospice. Just because somebody made a phrase that says that doesn't mean it's actually accurate. No, it's actually true. I have people that go. I'm sorry. Do you mind? It's just like... Yeah, thank you. Sorry. The argument that the atheist is only arguing in order to... to argue and rationalize that he wants to commit sin. It's completely preposterous. I'm arguing against what you're saying because I think they're bad ideas and they're harmful to society. I respect you. I think you're a wonderful and intelligent human being. I don't respect you. And I think that you really, truly believe what you're saying. Right, but I don't respect you. The problem is that I don't care if you respect me. But no, it should be mutual. Let me tell you why we can't have a religion. I deal with a lot of atheists. I deal with a lot of Christians. I do a lot of coffee. I do a lot of people, but there are only certain types of people I don't deal with, and that's meaning. Why not? See my beliefs. I'm going to tell you my beliefs. You could follow or not follow. I'm not responding to...

3:43:13I really did enjoy it. You're just going to attack me and you're going to go. I'm going to tell you. I'm going to tell you. I don't play games like that. If you want to sit down and have a debate, I'd be more than happy to. I don't think that you would have the capacity. Here's the thing. Somebody, somebody. You should talk to Rabbi Yitzchok. He knows how to get in touch with me. I would love to, but he just openly said he doesn't have any respect for me. No, I don't. The difference is I'm here to share an idea. Nobody else will challenge you on what you're saying publicly. You can't challenge anything. First of all, there are plenty of sources. Do me a favor. Return the stuff you took. It's not for you. It's not for you. Return it. See, now I'm telling you to return it. Now you're just a thief also. On top of your bag me dog, you're also a thief. Let me explain. Hold on. For the sake of argument that we're going to finish for the night, when you want a lecture, you go host one yourself. Go away already. Shoo away. It's not the Torah. That's why you failed.

3:44:27Shoo away, go. Now. When somebody doesn't agree with you, that's not a problem. There's nothing wrong with disagreeing. The entire Gemara is full of disagreements. Now, you're never going to see me go to an atheist shul trying to convince them to believe in the Torah. You're never going to see a rabbi do that. Why? It's not my place. They have a mission. Let them do whatever they want. Let them do whatever they want. They want to go kill themselves? Let them kill themselves. They want to go jump off a bridge? Let them jump off a bridge. I'm not going to go and disturb their peace. You're never going to see a rabbi do that. But you're always going to see the atheist kofrim come to a shiur Torah. Why? Why? He can't live with himself. He can't live with himself by himself. He has to influence other people. That's why you can't deal with them because they shine the evil. The evil is not about "I'm sharing my idea and he's sharing his idea." I reserve the place to share my idea, and those that want to listen to my idea came because they want to listen to it, welcoming and

3:45:40Now, on the other hand, his idea—I don't want to hear his idea. So I'm not going to go to his place and share my idea at his place. But he's here to share his idea at my place. You understand? That's the difference. That's why we cannot have normal discussions with people like that. And you have to simply minimize them, destroy them, and insult them in every way, shape, and form. Just like it's idolatry itself, and it's a mitzvah from the Torah. Don't think that I was mean for a second. It's a mitzvah from the Torah to insult such a person. Mitzvah from the Torah. Just like it's a mitzvah to lay tefillin, it's a mitzvah to be modest, it's a mitzvah from the Torah to insult such a person. Why? This is a person that causes weakness among the nation. If you give him even one ounce of credibility, you can lose countless souls. It's better that the next time you pray, you're going to pray Amidah. You're going to pray Amidah. In Amidah, we say, we say these minim, these malshinim, may they not have any hope. What does it mean, hope? Pray for their destruction. What are we praying for? We pray for people like him to die. Every day, three times a day. Three times a day, you pray for him to die. Him, him, that guy. Yeah, you pray for him to die three times a day without even knowing it.

3:46:55Jewish soul? Yeshua also had a Jewish soul. No, no, no. Not people who are religious. No, no, no. Don't misunderstand me. It's a different category. Don't misunderstand me. It's not me. It's not me. Hold on a second. It's not me. Rambam. Rambam. Rambam Hilchot Teshuva. Chapter 3, Halacha number 7. Describes different people that are minim. One who says that there's no God, no ruler of the world. Our friend over here. One who accepts the concept of a ruler but maintains that there are two or more. That's Christians. One who accepts that there is one master of the world but maintains that He has a body or a form. That's four. One who maintains that He was not the sole being or the creator of existence. And five, one who serves a star or a constellation or entity. These five people are considered minim. These minim go into a different place.

3:47:55These minim, in Halacha, number six in chapter three, the following individuals do not have a share in the world to come. Rather, their souls are cut off, and they're judged for their great wickedness and their sins forever. The minim, the apikorsim, who deny the Torah, and so on and so forth. The point is, Rabotai, This is halacha. It's not my opinion. My opinion is meaningless. It's worth literally zero, probably less because it's still human at the end. But when the Torah tells us that a person like this could simply take a three-hour shiur and turn it upside down because he's going to put a question mark in your head, it's my job, more important than the entire shiur, to destroy him. If it was legal, I'd kill him. If it was legal, I'd kill him. Right? If the Sanhedrin was here, I'd kill him on the spot. Why? Because this is a person that came to weaken Am Yisrael. So you have to fight such a thing. The fact that he's a Jewish soul is now secondary to how he used his Jewish soul. Once you become a murderer of neshamot, once you become a min, that Jewish soul—okay, it's sad. It's sad that you have a Jewish soul. Why? Because that means that your Gehinnom is worse than a goy actually.

3:49:13That's what it means. That's all it means. But we have an obligation to you. We have an obligation to go against you. Why? Because you are a min. If you are a person that looks to missionize Am Yisrael to a different God, to a false God, to an atheist, to something like that, then our job is to fight. Now, somebody that believes that, simply believes it. He believes that the clock over there is God. He believes the clock is God. And you're not going to change his mind. That's not a problem. he has a problem with God, but I don't have a problem with him. Why? Because he's not trying to influence anyone. Once he tries to influence other people, now I have a problem with him. So that's the difference. This guy came to influence people. So that's why everybody should have a problem with him. That's a dangerous person. There are certain people, it's not about intellectual debates, it's not about intellectually proving one thing over another, you know? You could tell a person straightforwardly. I've had conversations with this guy before. I've asked the question, have you ever had a miracle happen to you in your entire life? Has anybody here never had a miracle happen to them?

3:50:17It doesn't make sense. Every single day, you could count those things. No, but he never saw any miracles. When you have a certain mindset, it's not intellectual anymore; it's an agenda that they have. Now, we're not going and we're not blasting this. We're not knocking on every church and saying, "Hey, come join us." We're trying to be the Jewish people based on the Torah. Again, this is not a comfortable conversation to have with people. This is not something that you're like, "Well, yeah, I enjoy speaking about this." I don't think anybody enjoys speaking about this. If they do, it's a little bit twisted. They shouldn't be talking about it if they do. Yeah. So we're doing this not as an agenda because we want people to have a difficult life and not to enjoy life to the fullest. Chas v'shalom. You know, Jewish people should have only the best life in this world and the next world. But the focus is, this is what Hashem says. You know, as if you're complaining against us. Everything is sourced. Everything is sourced. I have three classes. Rabbi Reuven has plenty more classes. They're sourced. Go look them up. We source it through the Torah. We source it through Kabbalah. People don't know the difference between Oral Law and Rabbinic Law. People don't know the difference between what's min haTorah and what they consider people just made up. People don't understand the basic concept of Judaism. When someone has a faulty understanding of Judaism, then what do you expect?

3:51:37But you can't convince somebody that doesn't want to be convinced, who has their own agenda of wanting to push it. It's like, imagine trying to convince Hitler, and I'm not comparing anybody to anybody over here, so don't take my words out of context, but imagine you try to convince Hitler that the Jewish people are the chosen nation. What the hell? I'm sorry. I have to correct you. He's worse than Hitler. He said that. He said it, though. No, no, he is worse than Hitler. That guy is worse than Hitler. No, no, no. That's not what the Torah said. No, no. I have to correct you there. He said Jews are the chosen people. I think something like that. Oh, really? But he also said that he's there to punish the Jews because the Jews went against God. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But the point is, a person that's a min is actually worse than Hitler. You have to know this. It's important you know this. Why? Hitler, yimach shemo v'zichro, killed six million bodies. This guy is trying to kill a soul. A body can still go to Gan Eden. He goes, he kills a soul. He doesn't go, he goes to Gehenom. You understand? This is much worse. And by the way, I agree. I agree with what the rabbi said. Don't desecrate the Torah like that. He went to yeshiva, he said.

3:52:49There's no such thing as a real atheist, like I said. At the moment of truth, they're not going to remain an atheist. The question is, when are you going to admit it? My problem is not atheism. I just simply think atheists are foolish. And they also love their desires. My problem is not atheism. My problem is somebody that forces his falsehood on people that are trying to learn something else. If I came to his class and I wanted to learn about atheism, that's one thing. I came. I welcomed it. I wanted it. But I didn't go to his class. He came to my class, which means that he is the one forcing his opinion on my students, not the opposite. He is actually the criminal of his own crime. That's what he's blaming me for. That's the difference. That's the difference between a normal person and not a normal person. So again, it's very, very important to know that even Rabbeinu Yonah says that there are certain people for whom it is a mitzvah to find them doing more sins.

3:54:00Meaning it's fine to look for their sins. It's fine to do that. Why? Because some people are that way. Some people, you want them to get a bigger punishment. That's the mitzvah. Just like it's a mitzvah to eat kosher, it's a mitzvah to find that they're making more sins. Why? Because these people are literally murderers of neshamot. So it's not that I hate him. If he did it without all of these things, he's just like another person to me. But once he starts spewing his venom out, I'm obligated to hit him. I'm obligated to. It's not, it's not that I want to. I'm obligated to. Why? He's trying to kill all of you. So what, you want me to love him, give him a kiss? Oh, you're my brother. What brother? He's trying to kill all of you. You understand? So it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, you can't. I can't love such a person. If somebody took one of your kids, you don't have any kids. Somebody took kids and drowned them. Okay? And I came and said, oh, I love this guy. What kind of rabbi are you? What do you mean you love this guy? You just killed my kid. Yeah, but he's such a good guy. He makes good cakes. What's wrong with you? What do you mean good cakes? You just killed somebody. This guy's worse than that. He's worse than that. Why? He literally actively tries to kill neshamot. He tries to get people to go to Gehinnom. Huh? That he's my son? No, he's not my son.

3:55:29I'm trying to talk to him at a certain point. He's not listening. He's just a person that is looking to, just like the Rabbi said, he has an agenda. He has a goal. He's like a sniper. Snipers, they're not like regular soldiers. They go to the field, they hide for five, six, seven days just to shoot off one shot. And then leave. For him, he did a perfect job if he acquired one soul. If one person left today with a question mark, he's perfectly happy with it. That's him. That's how evil he is. Missionary, 100%. Missionary, 100%. That's the missionary. That's why we're obligated to hate him. He's going to call me tomorrow. What should I tell him? You shouldn't answer the phone. You should put him on a block. You know, let's talk to him. Block him. Block him. You know, let's block him. According to the Rambam. From yeshiva? You want to do it to yeshiva? No, he just took my number now. He said we're going to talk tomorrow. Oh, so he got the soul. He's recruiting. He got the soul. He recruited. He saw that you're the one. Apparently, he saw you as the weakest one. I'll start recruiting.

3:56:38He saw that you're the weakest one. Tell him, "Listen, I'm busy hiring CPAs. I can't talk to you right now. Call me in about a year." No, no, no. You have to call me to remind me. Now let's talk to such a person. He saw you as the weakest link. Hashem. Why, you ask some questions, you search certain things, he's like, oh, he's a good friend. All you do is influence him a little bit, do a little kiruv on him. He has a YouTube channel. I know. What? Every Joe has a YouTube channel. It doesn't give you credibility. Jews for atheists? Let me tell you something, seriously. Tomorrow I have a meeting. I'm doing a startup, and this lady, girl, she's like 21, 22 years old, and we talk We talk about the startup, but I flirt with her because she wants to flirt. And I can't sometimes control myself because that's her. And I don't know how to resist because that's my personality. So you send me a text message on WhatsApp, and I'll reply to you with my shiur about Gehenom. And then you send it to her. She's Jewish also. She's Jewish.

3:57:52You study; that's you. I promise you, you'll stop for a little. 917-468-2324. My business cards are on the desk. My business cards are on the desk. You send me a text message to that number. I can add you to our WhatsApp groups, and if you have any questions, you can ask. I'll be more than happy to help. We'll do Maariv now? Thank you, everybody. Thank you. Wait, I'm recording it too. This is a special cake that we made in your... We're watching the shiur live, actually, by the way. So, b'ezrat Hashem, we have this cake in your name. We have the CDs. Thank you very much. Baruch Hashem. Tzaddikim here in Toronto. This is going to be a new beginning here for the teshuvah movement among the people.