Proud to be Jewish (New York )

0:13Shiur Torah, great to be here in New York, Baruch Hashem, at Or HaMizrach. Baruch Hashem, it's the first time we're here, and I know that there's a lot of people looking for the truth. But of course, on one end we see from Sefer Devarim, the book of Deuteronomy, Hashem says, if you look for me, you'll find me, but only if you look for me with all of your heart and all of your soul. Meaning, if you look for Hashem seriously, you'll find Hashem. Meaning, if you look for Hashem seriously, you'll find Hashem. No questions asked. It doesn't matter if you're born into a frum family but you don't have yirat Shamayim yet, or you're born into a secular family and your parents are atheists. It doesn't matter what is in your life. Even if you come from a completely different religion, Hashem says, if you look for me, you'll find me. On the other end, the Yetzer Hara, needs his employees. Every single time we make a mitzvah, we create an angel. Every single time we make an aveirah, we create a demon. The Gemara says that if a person were able to see all the things they created that are standing right next to him, they'd lose their mind.

1:32That's why Hashem doesn't allow us to see everything that's really next to us. Why? Because we'll be able to see all the demons we created and all the angels we created. It's too scary for us. So now, every time somebody does teshuva, of course they're going to make more mitzvot, they're going to make more angels. Now, somebody that does serious teshuva, what does he want to do? He wants to make other people do teshuva. So what happens? The yetzer hara says, hey, you're stealing my employees. All these demons are my employees. All these people that create the demons, they're my best employees. So now you're stealing my employees. So what happens is, when someone is looking for the truth, Hashem is also going to allow the yetzer hara to give him a few distractions. Make him late to the lecture, flat tires, all types of things. The key is to be able to overcome the test. Now, A few things that I wanted to talk about, and b'ezrat Hashem we will be able to cover all of it. One of the main things that I remember from my childhood is that, you know, we're always happy to be Jewish, we're always proud to be Jewish. You know, never hate the fact that I was Jewish. Someone would ask you, where are you from? You tell them you're proud to say, oh, you're from Israel.

2:54If you go to Beit Knesset once or twice a year, when you're not religious, someone asks you, "Oh, what's today?" One of your non-Jewish friends asks you, "What's today? Where are you going? Why are you dressed up in a suit when you're 15 years old or 12 years old?" You say, "Tomorrow it's our holiday." You know, you're not ashamed of it. So, on a grand scope of things, most Jews are proud to be Jewish. The problem is that most of us don't really know what it means to be Jewish. So we think that to be proud to be Jewish means that as long as you support Israel, modern-day Israel, you're a proud Zionist, that means you're a proud Jew. As long as you go to Beit Knesset a few times a year, you're proud to be Jewish. As long as maybe you wear a kippah when you do kiddush, you're proud to be Jewish. As long as you answer, "I'm Jewish," when someone asks you, are you Jewish, you're proud to be Jewish. But the reality of it is that that's not necessarily it. How do we know? Before Am Yisrael arrived at Har Sinai, Judaism did not exist. Before that, we were called Israelites. wear a kippah when you do Kiddush, you're proud to be Jewish. As long as you answer, "I'm Jewish," when someone asks you, "Are you Jewish?" you're proud to be Jewish. But the reality of it is that that's not necessarily it. How do we know? Before Am Yisrael arrived at Har Sinai, Judaism did not exist. Before that, we were called Israelites.

4:20There was a nation; we were all the descendants of Avraham, Yitzhak, and Yaakov. Another name for Yaakov was Yisrael. We were all his descendants, and we were all Israelites. When did we become Jews? We became Jews at Har Sinai. Now, this is only seven weeks plus one day after we left Mitzrayim. What changed? A couple of months ago, we were in Egypt surrounded by idol worship, and some of us ourselves were worshipping idols. Next thing you know, Hashem splits the sea, takes us a couple of months on the road, we get to this mountain, and all of a sudden, we are our own people. We're now called Jews. What happened? So, on Pesach, we're all going to arrive, we're going to talk about the... Yetziat Mitzrayim, we're going to talk about being slaves in Egypt, eventually being Bnei Chorin, being free, and eventually becoming the nation that we are. The key is to truly understand what actually happens to make us the nation that we are. As we mentioned when we were still talking before the tape went on, is that...

5:46Masechet Shabbat says that when Am Yisrael arrived at Mount Sinai, the whole purpose was to give us the Torah. And the story goes that when we got the Torah, it was after Hashem went to all of the nations and offered them the Torah and said, listen, do you want the Torah? They said, what's in it? He said, oh, it says that you're not allowed to steal. They said, oh, not for us. to the next nation. "What's in it?" they said. "You know," He said, "Oh, do not murder." "Oh, we like to murder, not for us." So Hashem came to the Jews. They said, "How much does it cost?" He said, "It's free." We said, "Alright, we'll take two." The story goes, we said, give it to us, you know, we'll do and then we'll hear what it actually says. There are a few details we're missing in this story. Because the Gemara says that before the nation of Israel arrived at Har Sinai, all of the angels that serve Hashem, including the angel that is the angel of earth.

7:03including the angel that is the angel of Earth. The planet Earth is actually an angel. Walls shaking out of fear. Barai asks, what are they scared of? Giant angel called Earth. What is he scared of? Who's beating him up? Chazal say, they were all scared That when Hashem would ask us, "Do you want the Torah?" and we'd say no. Why? Because when Hashem gave us the Torah, when He created the world, on the sixth day, He changed something. If you notice in Parashat Bereishit, every time He ends the first day of creation, He says, "Yom Rishon." Rishon, Yom Sheni, Yom Shlishi, first day, second day, third day, like at the end of each day, Vayehi Erev Vayehi Boker, Yom Rishon, Vayehi Erev Vayehi Boker, Yom Sheni. It was evening, it was morning, end of the first day, end of the second day, and so on. But when it comes to Yom Shishi, it says Yom Ha-Shishi, the Friday.

8:29So Chazal says, why is there an extra letter? There's an extra letter in the Torah. How could it be? Hashem is perfect. Hashem is divine. There's an extra letter. We couldn't just say Yom Shishi. It's the same thing. So Reish Lakish comes. A Baal Teshuva. He used to be the number one gangster in the world. Became a giant Talmid Chacham and a chavruta of Rabbi Yochanan. Reish Lakish says that extra letter, that's the deal. What deal? The extra letter of "hei" stands for the number five. What's five? Five books of Moses. That's the deal that Hashem made with the angel of the earth. And He said, one day I'm going to give the five books of Moses to the nation of Israel. And I'm going to give it to them on Shabbat. That way they can learn these five books of Moses specifically on Shabbat. But there's one condition to the deal. If they don't want to accept these five books of Moses, I'm bringing back everything to be tohu va'vohu. I'm destroying the world. Because the only reason I created you and everything else is for them to accept the Torah. So the Gemara continues and says,

9:55that when Am Yisrael arrived finally at Mount Sinai, all of the angels were shaking because they didn't know if they were going to say yes. They weren't sure. How are they going to know? It's free choice. Hashem made sure that they know it's not necessarily free choice like we think of free choice. Free choice, as we think of it, is like you either come to the shiur or you don't come to the shiur. If you come to the shiur, you're going to learn some divrei Torah. You don't come to the shiur, you do something else. You watch the game, you drink some coffee, you smoke with your friends, you do something else. The guy that's giving the lecture is not going to go find you and beat you up. You want to come to the shiur? Come. You don't want to come to the shiur? Don't come to the shiur. But here Hashem says, listen, since the entire creation is dependent on this day, on them accepting it, one of the sages says it can't be free choice. It has to be a choice where they need to know what the consequences are. So Hashem made a miracle. Hashem made Mount Sinai become like a dome. Instead of being a straight mountain, it started covering, it bent over, and Am Yisrael was under it.

11:20That's why it says that Am Yisrael was under the mountain, not next to the mountain. Under the mountain. Usually, when you go to the mountain, you're next to the mountain or on top of the mountain. You're never under the mountain because there's no under. But here we all stood, millions and millions of people, next to the mountain, but now they just became under. How did they become under? Hashem changed nature. go beyond nature, in essence, bent the mountain. And it turned into being like a chuppah. And Reish Lakish continues, and he says this: Hashem said to Am Yisrael, this is our wedding day. If you accept the Torah, this is our chuppah; we get married. I'm going to be loyal to you, and you're going to be loyal to me. I'm going to fulfill the promise that I made to Avraham, Yitzchak, and Yaakov, and I'm never going to destroy you. I'm never going to let anyone else destroy you. He didn't say I'm not going to let you suffer. He didn't say I'm not going to let you go through suffering. He just said He won't let us destroy ourselves, in essence. We will always exist. I'll fulfill the promise that I made to Avraham, Yitzchak, and Yaakov. We're married. You're my firstborn child. I love you, and I'll do everything

12:42that's necessary for you to have every opportunity to succeed, individually and as a nation. If you don't accept the Torah, fine, this is where you're going to die. How? The chuppah will be disconnected from the mountain and fall on top of everyone. This will be your burial ground, He says. So Chazal says, what kind of choice is this? It's not really free choice. To either get married or get killed sounds more like ISIS. So Chazal explains, what did you think? Hashem is going to leave everyone's existence, everyone's destiny, everyone's fortune, everyone's everything. Up to chance? Who wants a God like this if He does? You can't leave it up to chance. He says, listen, I created all of it for you. You want to be married to me? Fine. You don't. I don't need anything. I'm perfect anyway. And anyone that really is a mitbonen and anyone that really thinks about this, realizes that it's a much more realistic...

14:09than the story we heard as kids. We got the Torah, we can choose it, we can choose not to. That sounds like a nice story, but it doesn't sound realistic. And this is one of the reasons, one of the foundational reasons, that disconnects Am Yisrael until today from the truth. We all believe that it's a choice. We all believe that it's okay if you listen to Hashem, it's okay if you don't listen. He loves you anyway. It's not true. Yes, you're His son. Yes, you're His daughter. But if you follow His mitzvot, He calls you ohavai. Ohavai means my lovers. At the end of Parashat Vaetchanan, He says, the ones that are my lovers, I'll pay them reward for thousands of generations. And He gives them a name, meaning "My lovers," which are the ones that observe My commandments. To My haters, I'll pay them their reward. I'll pay them cash to their face to destroy them. So now we learned something.

15:32Everything has an opposite. O'havai, Sonei, lovers, haters. If lovers, Hashem defined Himself as the ones that keep His covenant, that keep His mitzvot, then haters are the opposite. So yes, you're always His child, you're always His creation. It doesn't mean He loves you. Means He's going to give you an opportunity. Means He's going to give you an opportunity to be Avraham Avinu. He's going to give you an opportunity to be Sarah Imeinu. He's going to give you an opportunity to be the greatest you can possibly be. But if you don't do it, it's your loss, not His. And that's one of the things that we fail to understand. We think that Hashem is just going to accept us as we are. Accept me as I am, as if we're doing Him a favor. And I think, once we actually start learning this Gemara, once we start learning this Oral Torah, it changes our perspective of what it really means to be a proud Jew. Because a proud Jew has to be a Jew to begin with. Now, the one thing that changed at Mount Sinai,

16:55is that we became Jews, how? By receiving this Torah. Which means, if Hashem didn't, then Hashem would have given the Torah to someone else. And they would have become the Jews. And we would still be Israelites, if Hashem didn't kill us. The point being is that the only thing that makes a Jew, a Jew, is whether they follow the Torah. they follow the Torah, you're a Jew. You don't follow the Torah, you fail to fulfill your mission as a Jew and therefore exclude yourself from the nation. This is why in the Rambam and all of the books previous to this generation that were written about mitzvot like Shabbat, the foundation of Judaism... says in the Shulchan Aruch in seven different places, it says in the Written Torah over 12 times, it says in all of the books, that any Jew, natural-born Jew, had a Jewish mother and qualifies to be a Jew, that violates Shabbat

18:11on purpose, drives on Shabbat knowing it's Shabbat, smokes a cigarette on Shabbat knowing it's Shabbat, does any of the 39 melachot that Hashem says not to do, he's excluding himself from the nation of Israel. He's now no longer considered Jewish; he's now considered 100% an idol worshiper. Meaning they just went from being the chosen people to the worst people on earth. Now, they don't feel a difference. They don't feel a difference. It's not like one day you feel great because you kept Shabbat and the next day you're sick because you didn't keep Shabbat. You don't feel a difference. It's a spiritual change. But the key is that when they're naturally born Jewish, they have a privilege. The privilege is that if they want to go back to being Jewish and remove themselves from suspension, all they have to do is start keeping Shabbat. It's very easy to remove yourself from that suspension. But until that time, that Judaism is on suspension.

19:11Now, if a non-Jew wants to be a Jew, like the three students that I brought to New York, they all, Baruch Hashem, finished their conversion, all they have to do is accept the Torah. That's it. They have to do the same thing that all of our neshamot decided to do at Mount Sinai. Hashem says, "You want the Torah?" We said, "Yes." Finished. You go through a simple process, they ask a few questions, you go through a mikveh, but in reality, the basic process is a spiritual decision. The key is to understand what you have to do after you accept yourself as a Jew. To call yourself a proud Jew means you have to be a Jew all the time, not just sometimes. And that's where we get in trouble. That's where the frum from birth have a problem. That's where the Baalei Teshuva have a problem. That's where the seculars have a problem. We all have the same problem. We all think that we're proud Jews, but at the same time, we don't really want to show that we're Jewish all the time. So for example, you ever notice that when the Arabs pray,

20:38to their false Mashiach, Muhammad. They still pray to the same God; they call Him Allah. But in essence, they have a faulty religion that tries to take some of the mitzvot and turn them into something new. But you ever notice that when they pray, they don't count anybody. It's time to pray, one of their five times a day to pray, they'll take their carpet, put it in the middle of the street, and start praying. They don't care who's watching. They don't care who's saying anything. Nothing. They don't care. You see them in the middle of Midtown Manhattan. Hundreds of them leave their huts and get out and leave the trucks, leave the hot dogs, leave all the stands. They go in the middle of the street, stop traffic. Hundreds of them start praying in the middle of the street, start bowing and praying. No bushah, no cherpah, nothing. No shame. They're... What do you mean? We're praying to God. We're praying to Allah. Why should we be ashamed? This, believe it or not, is one of their zechuyot. This, believe it or not, is one of their merits. They're proud to be what they are. They're proud to pray to God. This is actually a kitrug on us. This is something that's against us. Why? Because we pray...

22:04We pray in Beit Knesset like we're supposed to. But sometimes we're in a situation where we have to pray in public. So, for example, when you have an early flight, like I did yesterday, you have an early flight, so you can't go to Beit Knesset. You're not going to make it in time. So you have to pray at the airport. So what do the Jews do sometimes? We all find this corner. You ever notice it's like, you know, 7 o'clock flight, 7 in the morning flight, 6 in the morning flight, and it's like, you know, 2, 3... Religious Jews praying all the way in the corner, like hiding. On one hand, they don't want to be distracted, which is not necessarily a bad thing, but on the other hand, there is a little bit of discomfort. Anyone who has ever prayed in public feels that there's a little bit of discomfort, like, you know, doing what I need to do. But I'm surrounded by a bunch of people that may not like me, that may like me, that may think it's this, that may think it's that. We think, even for a second, what everybody else thinks. Sometimes, I remember when I first started, and I used to fly a lot, and I started thinking, oh, you know what, maybe they're going to think...

23:18I don't like them. Maybe they're going to think that I think I'm better than them. My Yetzer Hara will start creating different shtuyot in my mind of why maybe I should delay this prayer and pray after I land. Okay, so it's not really the best time. I really should be praying at 6 o'clock in the morning and not at 11 when I land. But it's still a prayer. Like I'm doing Hashem a favor. Like my prayer is good enough already. Why? Because I have some shame. I'm really not that proud of my prayer. to pray in public. The Arab, in the middle of the flight, he'll do it. In the middle of the street, he'll do it. The Jew, in the corner. So how did I beat this Yetzer Hara? So I started thinking about it. I said, wait a minute. If Hashem is Hashem, He's Hashem all the time, not just sometimes. And Hashem said that the Jews are the chosen people.

24:20But Hashem is one of them. Hashem also said that one day all of these children, they're going to have a Go'el, they're going to have a Mashiach come. He's going to beat all their enemies. He's going to save everyone. There’s not going to be any more war. He's going to fight off all the enemies. It's going to be salvation. It's going to be great. It's going to be amazing. All the righteous Jews, all the ones that keep Shabbat, all the ones that keep mitzvot, all the ones that are not evil people, all the ones that are actually doing what Hashem says, they get saved. What's the Mashiach going to look like? He's not going to look like 50 Cent. He's not going to look like one of the rappers on TV. He's not going to be Muslim. He's not going to be Christian. He's not going to be Buddhist. He's not going to be Mormon. What's he going to look like? He's going to look like a Jew. What does a Jew look like? A Jew looks like he has tefillin, he has a tallit. I said, oh, so me praying in public, I should be praying in the middle of the airport. Why? At least I'm showing everybody what the Mashiach is going to look like. So that's what I do now. I pray exactly where I sit. Right, you know, in the airport you wait, everything. Wherever I sit, I don't go to the corner, I don't go anywhere. I go exactly where I am, in the middle of everyone. Because I figured to myself, listen, at least you guys are going to know what the real Mashiach is going to look like.

25:43And in the beginning, it was very hard. Because in the beginning, you still have your shtuyot in your mind. Oh, maybe they're looking at me, maybe this, maybe that. But then once you start praying, you start praying, you start praying, eventually you get to a point where the yetzer hara leaves. Every time it tries to convince this guy to do something, he does the exact opposite. Okay, I'm going to leave him alone. And you get to a point where you start becoming proud of being a Jew. Because in reality, what are you so scared of? You're the one that's in the right. We made a new poster recently. Today, I sent it out. I had a thought that if you do somebody, um, that just started covering her hair with a scarf and, uh, she says, "Listen, I'm meeting my friend I haven't seen in a really long time. The last time she saw me, she saw my real hair, the way she knows me with all my real hair. Now I have kisui rosh. It looks strange to her. Pray for me."

26:43Okay, I'll pray, but then I started thinking about it. Wait a minute. What are you so ashamed of? Do you realize that you're the daughter of Hashem? Do you realize that Hashem is the King of Kings? Do you realize that that makes you a princess? Do you realize that when she notices that you're a princess, at least she should say thank you? Because when it comes down to it, Everyone that buys something fancy, everyone that has something beautiful, what do they want to do with it? They want to show it to everybody. So, for example, if you bought a fancy car, why'd you buy a fancy car? Are you really going to drive 180 miles an hour? No, you're going to drive regular, the same speed with the $50,000 car as you would with the $15,000 car, or the same thing as the $200,000 car. But when you drive your Ferrari, you want everyone to say, hey, nice car, man. Nice car. You buy a big house. Not because you really need the whole house. You're single. You have, you know, two kids and a dog. You don't need an 18-bedroom house. But why do you have an 18-bedroom house? Because you want everybody to say, "Hey, nice house, man. Nice house. Wow, what a beautiful kitchen. How much did it cost you? $200,000 to make this kitchen? Wow. What, you're cooking 24 hours a day in this kitchen? You know, you never cooked a day in your life. You don't even know how to cook, but you have a $200,000 kitchen, so when the cook comes, he has something to cook with."

28:12The guy that buys the $500,000 car, he doesn't even drive, he's a driver. Why does he have this fancy car? So somebody says, hey, nice car. Hey, nice house. The whole point of all this shtuyot, material stuff, is so someone acknowledges it. Someone says, hey, wow, nice stuff. So I said, the kisui rosh of a woman, the kippah of the man, The exterior look that a Jew has, has all the reasons in the world for you to be proud of it. It shows the world your father is God. It shows the world that you're a princess or a prince. So when someone says, hey, you're Jewish? Say, yeah, baruch Hashem, thanks for noticing. You should say, thank you. Oh wow, you became religious? Yeah, thank God I woke up. Don't be one of these people that says, oh yeah, yeah, I'm trying. Like you're not sure how they're going to take it. You know, you just started wearing modest clothes. Like, oh, what happened to you? What's with the clothes? You're like not sure what to say. Oh no, you know, it's just, it's cold outside. It's 87 degrees. What cold outside? You sick? Something wrong with you? No, why are you ashamed?

29:36All you're doing is you're showing your stuff. You're showing your dad is Hashem Yitbarach. What are you so ashamed of? Someone finally acknowledged your nice stuff. What are you so ashamed of as a Jew? You have a crown on your head. You ever see a king without a crown? What kind of king is that? So that's one of the things that we fail at consistently. One of the reasons is because instead of looking at the Torah as our mirror, we look at the goyim. So, many of us want to be goyim. I remember as a kid, we came to America when I was 10 years old. Within no time, I wanted to be like my friends. It depends on your environment, huh? It depends on your environment. Right. The key is that most of the environment in the Galut... It's going. You're going to be like the people that are Chassidim. If you're going to be in the middle of Africa where all the people are wearing underwear as their only clothing, then you're going to want to be like them too. If you're going to be in America where there are 350 million Christians and Catholics, you're going to want to be like them. The key is to forget about your environment. It doesn't matter whether you live in Bnei Brak. It doesn't matter whether you live in Harlem.

31:06It doesn't matter whether you live in Brooklyn. It doesn't matter whether you live anywhere. The key is that you're looking in the wrong place. The only mirror you should have is called a Sefer Torah. This is the only instruction set that you should have. What does it say in a Sefer Torah? The Sefer Torah says you need to be modest. Whether you're male or female, you need to be modest. Now, it doesn't say you have to wear black and white. It doesn't say that you have to look bad. It doesn't say that you have to do anything specific. It just says you have to be modest. So if your clothing is not modest, you're making a sin from the Torah. Just like eating pork is a sin from the Torah. Being not modest is a sin from the Torah. Now there's a big difference between the sin that a man makes as immodest and a woman makes as immodest. When a man is immodest, for example when they wear these... What are they called? Skinny jeans. Those To'avat Hashem jeans that people wear, which To'avat Hashem means disgusting to Hashem, where they want to show everybody their genitals and the rest of their body as if they're runway models. This is a serious problem. This is not only a ma'aseh goyim, this is not only the clothing of the non-Jews,

32:31But aside from that, the only people that ever wore these skinny jeans in the past were in Nazi Germany. So if you look at the history, I have a picture comparing skinny jeans to Nazi pants. A picture speaks a thousand words. We don't look at history, so we ignore it. But on top of that, it's not modest. You're supposed to look like a respectable person. It doesn't necessarily mean you have to wear a black and white suit all the time. You have to look like a respectable person. Even if you're wearing a sweatshirt, it's fine. As long as you look like a respectable human being where if Hashem Yitbarach showed Himself to you, you're presentable. This is obviously assuming that you're, you know, if you're working, let's say, for example, in a junk removal business, like one of my students, he can't necessarily smell like roses at all times because he's in junk removal all the time. But whenever he's at a time where he's praying, whenever he's at a time where he's learning, he tries his best to look presentable. He's not wearing a tank top. So the key for a man is to be presentable.

33:38Modest. Now, when a man is not modest, the only thing he does is sin directly against Hashem, and it doesn't look good because he removes the Shechinah from himself. This means that when Hashem wants to show up at a place and listen to his prayer, he's putting a shield between him and Hashem. The Rambam in Shemonah Perakim, said that what was the difference between Moshe Rabbeinu and all of the other prophets? Why did it say that Moshe Rabbeinu was able to speak to Hashem face to face, but it didn't say that about any of the other prophets? It said because Moshe Rabbeinu eliminated all of his bad middot, each and every single one of them that's considered a wall between us and Hashem. getting to a point that the only difference, the only separation between Moshe Rabbeinu and Hashem was like a blurry mirror, blurry glass. Where he was able to see something that's not a hundred percent clear. Whereas everyone else had tens and tens of walls. Obviously, Rabbi Tzadok HaKohen less and less, but the point is that all walls that were separating them. Whereas Moshe Rabbeinu had something like a blurry piece of glass.

34:58He worked on his middot and refined himself to such an extent that there was nothing separating him from Hashem other than the fact that he was still a human being. And Hashem said, no human being can see Me and live. So now, when a man is not modest, he's automatically putting a Grand Canyon-sized wall between him and Hashem. This applies even when he's learning or when he's... praying to Hashem, which is the best time in the world to have no walls whatsoever. The problem with the woman is even worse. The reason why is because a woman was created with the ability to attract her surroundings, meaning that when a woman is not modest, she immediately grabs the attention of every single person next to her, man or woman. Which means that just our natural inclination is to look as a reflex to its immodesty. That's what the yetzer hara inside us does. Have you ever noticed, let's say for example, if you spend any time on the internet, the internet unfortunately has commercials and all types of immodesty, unless you have GuardYourEyes or some type of program that covers all these things. So you'll see yourself, man or woman,

36:20Immediately, look towards immodesty. There are a bunch of friends suggested to you on Facebook, and immediately you're looking at the half-naked girl. You're walking in the middle of the street, in the middle of New York. There are thousands and thousands of people, but the only one you can remember and see is the one that's half-naked. This is your yetzer hara. And this is for men and for women. The only difference is that it's worse for men to look at it because men... when he's intimate with his own wife. And there are some sages that say something very scary. They say that if he's thinking about another woman when he's intimate with his wife, his son is a mamzer, which is horrific. The point being is that a man shouldn't put himself in such a circumstance. Just looking at another girl that's not his wife can lead to such severe consequences. when he's intimate with his own wife. And there are some sages that say something very scary. They say that if he's thinking about another woman when he's intimate with his wife, his son is a mamzer, which is horrific. The point being is that a man shouldn't put himself in such a circumstance. Just looking at another girl that's not his wife can lead to such severe consequences.

37:45But the problem is, he has one sin. The girl has thousands of sins. The girl that actually dressed immodestly, every single person that looked at her, is sinning. And every single time they sin and use her as a memory, it goes into her account. Meaning that just going from the house to the store, she can collect millions of sins. She shows up to Shamayim and they tell her, Don't even look at the mitzvot place. Just look at the aveirot. There's no way she made that many mitzvot being immodest. So there's a very, very big difference in the way modesty affects women as it does men. But this is also the reason why modesty, a modest woman, the number one mitzvah for her is the number one mitzvah for her in the Torah. She's not obligated to learn Torah the same way that a man is. She's not obligated to lay tefillin like a man is. She's not obligated to do a lot of the mitzvot like a man is. So Hashem gave her a few foundational mitzvot. That's everything for her. Modesty is 60%. So a woman that's not modest, unfortunately, she can't pass the test. She can give tzedakah, she can be a ba'alat chesed, she can keep Shabbat, she can keep kosher, she can say tefillah from morning to night. She walks around immodest, she causes other people to sin.

39:07It's too many sins to overcome. So now, when going back to the original discussion of being proud to be a Jew, being proud to be a Jew means that you have to make sure that your exterior matches your interior. You can't say, listen, I'm a tzaddik inside or tzaddeket inside, but outside I look like a goy. Outside I look like I just came out of some Discovery Channel episode. Outside, you know, you have to look like a respectable human being. And inside, you have to be a respectable human being. The two can't be opposites. So, when you're a man, you have to be modest. When you're a woman, you have to be modest. So, that's the most important part. So, when anyone thinks that in order to be religious, you have to wear black and white, or a woman always has to wear black, that's not true. You can wear colors as a woman. They just can't be colors to such an extent, like red, which grabs attention. Even if it's a modest dress that's red, it's still going to grab too much attention, which is not modest. So the key is to blend in. You're allowed to look beautiful, but the main beauty has to be for your husband, not for Yosef and Shimon from the supermarket. So...

40:22First part of modesty is to make sure that the world at large looks at you and sees a Jew. Looks at you and sees a Jewish woman. That's the first way that you know you're proud to be a Jew. To say that you're a Jew just because you go to Beit Knesset or just because you donate some money, that doesn't make you a Jew. Goyim also donate money. Goyim also go to church. There's no credit to you on that. So, the first and most important thing is to make sure that you are a Jew externally and it's easy to notice. That shows that you're proud. The second thing is, is that you actually qualify as a Jew, meaning that you're actually fulfilling the Torah and using it as a guide before every single decision that you make. Now, if your own opinion is your number one driver, unfortunately, you're going to have a very hard time. being a proud Jew. And the reason why is because your opinion is motivated by the Yetzer Hara. And the Yetzer Hara is going to do everything and anything he can to motivate you to do the opposite of what Hashem wants you to do. Because like we said in the beginning, every time you do the opposite of what Hashem wants you to do, you create a soldier for the Yetzer Hara. That's why the Gemara,

41:41I believe it's in Masechet Sanhedrin, and also in one other place, that says the Yetzer Hara is like a zvuv. It's like a fly on your heart. Why a fly on your heart? Because no matter how many times you shoo him away, he keeps coming back. You beat him on this test, you got to this shiur, he comes back tomorrow for the next shiur you're supposed to attend. You beat him today, you prayed on time, he comes back to you at the next prayer, saying, "No, don't pray this one. Mincha is not that important." You beat him on Mincha, he comes to beat you on Arvit. You beat him on Arvit, he says, don't do Kriyat Shema Lefnei Hamita. You beat him on the prayers, he comes to you and says, don't learn, you're too tired. Go watch a movie instead and relax. Go hang out with this, go do that. He's constantly coming back, and he's never going to let it go. The only way to beat him is first and foremost to know that he exists. Second, eliminate your own opinion. Eliminate your own opinion. I know this sounds strange and not politically correct. People love to have their own opinion. People think that their opinion is very, very valuable. But your opinion is going to get you in trouble. Simply said, your opinion is going to get you further and further from Hashem. Until you get to a point where your opinion is synonymous with Hashem's opinion,

43:09where you by default know what Hashem's opinion is. What Hashem said about the subject, try to eliminate your opinion altogether. If someone wants to be a big deal, somebody wants to be something, Rav Nissim Yagen, Zecher Tzadik Livracha, said, if you want to be something, you have to in essence eliminate all the things you think that you really are right now. You have to eliminate the something you think you are, and then you become something. Because the more you take away your human behavior, your natural inclinations, to use your own opinion, to be proud of just your opinion, to do things that are the opposite of what Hashem says, do all these things, the more you eliminate that, the more you remove your own pride, your own ga'ava, the more of a chance you have to become somebody, to become somebody holy, to become Moshe Rabbeinu, to become Avraham Avinu. What was Moshe Rabbeinu known for? He was known to be the humblest man that ever lived. He was known as Moshe Avdi, Moses my servant, meaning Moses was considered by Hashem as His slave. Now a slave, as we all know, doesn't have free choice.

44:33His free choice is his master's choice. Whatever my master wants, that's what I do, by default. But the beauty of the relationship between Moshe Rabbeinu and the typical human slave, which unfortunately still exists to this day, just in different parts of the world, and even actually in America, just in hiding, is that the servant is happy purely by making his master happy. In the old days, you know, of having slaves that are human slaves, they hate their master, but they have no choice. They can't wait till the master dies in most places. But here, Moshe Rabbeinu was purely happy and satisfied just by making his master happy. But what made him a servant then, instead of just an employee? Because he removed his own opinion. He removed his own desires. He had no desires. Hashem said, go and become the Go'el. Go become that day's Mashiach and save My nation. Moshe Rabbeinu initially had an opinion. He said, no, no, I don't want to do it. It's not for me to do. I'm not at that level to be the one. Not that I don't want to do what You want. I'll do what You want. But maybe you should pick my brother.

45:58maybe you should pick somebody that's holy. Maybe there's no way that I am at a level to be the Mashiach. But when Hashem said, "You are, go do it," he went and did it. When Am Yisrael went through troubles, and Moshe Rabbeinu initially complained to Hashem, "Why is all this happening? You know, this salvation is not coming so easily." I thought you're just going to come, you're going to beat up the Egyptians, and that's it. Looks like the plan is a little different than I thought. I came there, I went to Pharaoh. Pharaoh said, "Who is this God that I should listen to Him?" And on top of it, it made the situation worse. Bnei Yisrael, they all started complaining, started crying to Hashem. and started complaining about Moshe. Now, Moshe technically should have quit. He said, "Listen, this is still Your will, even though I don't understand, even though I can't say that I agree with the strategy, but I don't know it. If this is what You want, this is what I'm going to do."

47:09And this was, in essence, the entire lifetime of Moshe Rabbeinu, doing what Hashem wanted. Not because he wanted it as his own natural inclination, but because he made his natural inclination what Hashem wanted him to do. This is one of the most important parts that will help anyone who truly wants to be a proud Jew. This is one of the most important parts to work on. Before doing anything, Ask yourself, what does God think about this? What does God think about the change I'm going to give him, this customer? What does God think about the prayer I'm about to make? What does God think about the customer I'm about to deal with? What does God think about this shidduch that I have? What does God think? Ask yourself, what does God think about all these things? Because as long as you use God as that guiding point, It makes it much easier to remove your opinion. Why? Because first, if you think about your opinion first, then you say, what does God think about it? It becomes a little harder. Why? Because immediately you've opened two giant doors for the Yetzer Hara to come in. The Yetzer Hara is going to convince you you're a genius. So for example, what is it like when I used to smoke cigarettes for a long time, for 20 years. And when I started learning Torah,

48:34I got to one point where I realized that you're not allowed to smoke. Simply, you're not allowed to smoke. Why? Because it hurts your body. You're not allowed to hurt your body. So, I said, yeah, but you know what? I need to smoke because I'm addicted to it. There's no halakha in Torah that says if you're addicted to something, you're allowed to do it. Okay, so I can't pass that one. Okay, but listen, I've been smoking for a long time. I'm used to it. It doesn't make a difference. I like it. It doesn't make a difference. Eventually, the Yetzer Hara that I had inside me was mamash, showing me how much of a genius he is. Eventually, he said, listen, every time you smoke a cigarette, it's a mitzvah. How is it a mitzvah? When do you smoke most? When you're learning Torah. You learn Torah to stay up. Listen, you're reading a book. After a while, you get a little tired. fall asleep. You think Hashem wants you to fall asleep while you're learning Torah? What kind of chutzpah is that? So you smoke. How are you going to stay up at 3 o'clock in the morning when you're learning for the shiur? You can't go to sleep, so you have to smoke. How are you going to learn the Gemara where you don't even understand what it says and it's boring to you in the beginning? You have to smoke. So the Yetzer Hara convinced me my cigarette is actually a mitzvah.

50:04And it took a while for me to say, Yetzer Hara, you know what? You're really full of it. You're really full of it. But that's Yetzer Hara. The biggest kofer in the world is inside you. He's inside you. Waiting to give you an excuse to rationalize your own wicked behavior. Listen, you can't stop doing drugs. You're already addicted. You know what it's going to do to your body when you think Hashem wants you to die? You know, people die from getting over the drugs. You think Hashem wants you to not yell at your wife? How is she going to learn? You need to discipline her. You think Hashem wants you to be ugly for your husband? What kind of shalom bayit are you going to have if your husband is not happy with you? So you have to dress immodestly, you have to do this, you have to do that, and your Yetzer Hara is going to constantly convince you how to be a kofer. Unfortunately, if we let him in, if we let this zvuv, this fly in, he's not leaving. And as we all know, the fly, right before he goes on top of our steak,

51:26He stands on the poop of the dogs. He doesn't hang out at cafe lounges drinking coffee. He hangs out at the garbage dump. Right before he goes on our steak. So the zvuv, the little fly that you have on your heart, he's bringing all the garbage with him. So he's convincing you, first, that your cigarette is a mitzvah, and that your miniskirt and tank top is a mitzvah, that's just the beginning. That's just the beginning. Slowly but surely, eventually, first, it's just a cigarette. Then it's, listen, Hashem said that learning Torah on Shabbat is worth a thousand times more than learning Torah during the week. How are you going to learn Torah on Shabbat without smoking a cigarette? Sounds crazy. But that's what the Yetzer Hara says. And that's what actually happens. So you let a man in the middle of the night on a Monday. He said, Monday I'm here. Coming back Tuesday. He comes back Tuesday. Oh, she feels at home. Wednesday he knows he's coming back. Thursday, Friday, Friday night comes along. He's not leaving. He already feels at home. Shabbat comes in. He's like, listen, how are you going to leave me? You're with me the whole week. You're going to leave me hanging?

52:55He's going to try to work on you the whole Shabbat to make sure you smoke just a little drag. Just a little thing. Stay up. You're doing a mitzvah. It's worth a thousandfold. He's going to convince you with mitzvot. He's not going to convince you with aveirot. My mom told me this one story that the Baal Shem Tov said. He said, the Yetzer Hara comes to you like a poor man. Saying, please, please, give me a little bit. I don't have any sins. Give me some of your sins. You have so many mitzvot. You're such a tzaddik. You're such a tzaddeket. You're such a righteous person. Give me a little bit of sins. Not big ones. Don't be Mechalel Shabbat. Don't be immodest. Don't be Oved Avodah Zarah. Give me just a little sin. Eat just something that's not 100% kosher. Do something that's not 100% kosher. Lie to this one customer. Cheat this one non-Jew. Do something small. It's not a big deal. Watch this TV show. Something small. Why? Hashem really cares about your TV? Come, give me one small sin. He comes to you like a little homeless person. But once he comes, he doesn't want to leave. What is it like? It's like a poor man that came to a rich man's house and he said, "Listen,

54:14I can't afford to buy this big $10 million house you have, but I've always wanted to have something. You have a big house. Can you give me space just for one nail? The rich guy says, "What? For a nail?" "Yeah, just one. I have one nail. All I own is one nail, and I have $1,000. I'm willing to give you $1,000 for you to let me stick the nail anywhere you want in the house." The guy has a $10 million house. He likes money. He says, "What's the big deal? I have such a big house. I'm probably not even going to notice this nail. Okay, fine. Give me a thousand bucks. Easy thousand dollars. Go ahead. Pick a place to put the nail in." He picks a place somewhere in the house. He puts the nail. He observes his nail. "Wow, what a nail. Look at this. Look at the house you're surrounded by." He feels at home. It's a beautiful nail. He's admiring his nail. He's admiring the house that the nail is in. And he leaves. The rich guy's like, what a fool, this guy. I just made a thousand bucks for nothing. Later that night, at 2:30 in the morning, someone's knocking on the door. Who's knocking on the door at 2:30 in the morning? He opens the door, he sees this poor man again. What do you want? Do you have another nail? What do you want? No, no, no, I don't have another nail. And I don't have another thousand dollars. But I want to put my hat, my hat, on the nail. Because I'm going to go to sleep outside.

55:43I don't want to ruin my hat, so I put the hat on the nail. He goes, "You couldn't come earlier?" He goes, "No, I was working until now. I have to put my hat on the nail." "Okay, put the hat on the nail." Monday. Tuesday, 2:30 in the morning. Comes back. "No, you already have the hat on the nail." "No, no, I want to put my jacket on the nail and take my hat back." "You couldn't come earlier?" "No, I needed my jacket all day." I couldn't put the jacket on the nail. I need to use it. Okay, no. It's Tuesday. Wednesday. Three o'clock in the morning. Got even later. No, what's today? What, the jacket, the hat? What do you want today? He goes, no, no. Today, I actually just wanted to look at my nail to see if it's okay. Because yesterday, it looked a little shaky. And every day he comes back at 2, 3, 4 o'clock in the morning. By the end of the week, the rich guy is losing his mind. He goes, listen, you can't come here anymore. He goes, what do you mean you can't come here anymore? I have a contract. I bought the place of the nail. I'm going to take you to court. They go to court. The dayan says, he's right. You sold him the place of the nail. You have to let him see the nail.

56:54So the rich guy has to deal with this as the poor man feels at home and every day he comes throughout the day. Now he's not only coming at 2 o'clock in the morning. Now he comes at 2 o'clock in the afternoon, at 3 o'clock, at 4 o'clock. He's coming every few minutes. Why? Because that's the law. You let him in. All the way to the point where the rich guy says, you know what? The heck with this house. Take the whole house. Take the nail. Take the hat. Take the jacket. I don't want to live here anymore. Who wants to live in this place every two minutes? The guy comes in. That's the Yetzer Hara. The Yetzer Hara comes to you and says, I'm poor, I'm homeless, I don't have much, you have so many mitzvot, you're a tzaddeket, you're a tzaddik, you do teshuva, you keep Shabbat, you learn Torah, you do this, you do that, you're so amazing, you're a proud Jew. Give me one nail. Give me just one nail. And we give him that nail. Instead of wearing the skirt that covers the knee, six inches wide.

57:58Before we sit, even after we sit down, we get the skirt that covers the knee only before we sit down. But as soon as we sit down, it's not covering the knee anymore. Six inches—Hashem really cares about six inches. Hashem, if You really cared about the six inches, You'd make the dressmaker make a better dress. We blame Hashem now. If we have a customer, and the customer gives us a little bit too much, He doesn't notice that instead of giving us a $10 bill, he gives us a $20 bill. And he walks out. Come on, I'm going to have to waste 25 minutes going to find this guy, going and giving it to him. By the way, it's not just an obligation. If a Jew, you know there's a Jew who lost something, you're obligated to return it to him. you're obligated to return it to him. It's not like an option. You're obligated to return it to him. So unless it's going to cost more money to return it to him than what you actually found. For example, if you found, let's say, I don't know, a clip, a hair clip, or something that's worth one penny, you don't have to go all the way to France, which costs $3,000, to return him the hair clip or her the hair clip. So you have to use your mind also.

59:20But the point is that if you see the guy walked out and it's going to cost you five minutes of your time, go run after him and give him the $10. But the Satan, what is he going to say? It's just $10. The guy's rich, a multi-millionaire. What does he need this $10 for? The guy just made $20 million last week. You think he cares about this $10? That's not your business. By taking that $10, you're letting the Satan put the first nail in. A week later, it's going to be $100. A month later, it's going to be $10,000. The next thing you know, Bernie Madoff. And what happens later? What happens is that Hashem eventually has to give us a wake-up call. And as Shlomo HaMelech says, man's foolishness leads him to sin. He makes mistakes. What's his foolishness? His foolishness is going against the King of Kings. Instead of going against his yetzer hara, he goes against the King. Instead of going against the wicked people, he goes against the King. Instead of going and doing good, he does bad. He does the opposite of what he's supposed to do, which leads him to sin, which leads him to get a bad report card. So Shlomo HaMelech says, after this man's own foolishness leads him to do these sins, Hashem is going to punish him. But what does he do? He gets mad at Hashem.

1:00:49Hashem, why did You put me in a place where I have a flat tire? Why did I lose the job? Why is my wife not happy? Why is my husband not happy? Why can't I find this? Why can't I find that? We constantly blame Hashem for our problems. But you did it. You collected millions and millions of sins just last week. And now Hashem is trying to give you a wake-up call. Hey buddy, start following the instructions. Life's going to become better. So that's one of the main things that we have to understand is that, first and foremost, the only times that Hashem is going to give us difficulty in this world is not pure punishment. It's to wake us up. It's to get us to realize that we're doing something wrong. It's not to punish us. If it was pure punishment, it wouldn't be in this world. It would be in a different world called Gehenom. So now, Rava said in Gemara Masechet Chagigah that Jerusalem was not destroyed until people of truth disappeared from it. As it is said in the book of Jeremiah, the prophet said, "I walk about it in the streets of Jerusalem and know that you seek throughout its plaza, and if you find even a single man, an ish, one who dispenses justice..."

1:02:13Someone that seeks the truth, I'll forgive her. Nechemiah explains this verse from the book of Yirmiyahu. He said that before the Churban Beit HaMikdash, the destruction, we got to a point where there was not even one single rabbi that was willing to tell people the truth. Not one single person was able to put themselves in a situation where they could say, "This is the truth. I know you like it, I know you don't like it, it doesn't really make a difference. This is what it says. The end. My opinion is irrelevant. If it was up to me, I'd say, you know what, don't do anything, do whatever you want. What do I care?" Talk to me? What do I care if you keep Shabbat? It affects my life. What do I care if you eat kosher? It affects my dinner. What do I care if you're modest, not modest? I don't see you. I live in Florida. It doesn't affect me. He says, ah, during Churban Beit HaMikdash, even the people that were living there, even the people that weren't living there, everyone got to a point where they let Yetzer Hara

1:03:28get an apartment complex on their heart, not just a small place. All the way to the point where he convinced everyone, hey, it's not your business. She wants to be modest, let her be modest. He wants to be Mechalel Shabbat, let him be Mechalel Shabbat. Eventually he's going to come back. Eventually he's going to come back, it's not your problem. Hashem says, there's no one to teach them anymore. So how are they going to come back to me? What, they're just going to one day decide? You know what? I'm kind of bored of this apartment. Let me go somewhere else. I'm bored of this heart. Let me go somewhere else. No. The more he's in there, the more he feels at home. The more comfortable he is. He says, since there's no one to remove the yetzer hara from their heart, I have to be the one. But when Hashem comes, it hurts. When Hashem shows up, it's not like me showing up, nice lecture, I make you guys laugh a little bit. Hashem comes. It's painful.

1:04:28The destruction of the Beit HaMikdash was many, many degrees worse than the Holocaust. People can remember the events they saw either on a TV program or, Hashem Yirachem, if they lived through the Holocaust. We all have some type of connection to the Holocaust. But the truth is all the worst things on earth that you saw in the Holocaust, like the program I saw just last night—horrible situation—how they're throwing dead bodies on trucks and like it's like a, uh, sack of, uh, of, uh, rice, all of these Jews just throwing them there, treating it like it's nothing, disrespecting the bodies. Just reflecting everything that happened in the Beit HaMikdash—much worse, much, much worse. Why? Because we let the yetzer hara... Tell us, what are you so proud about being a Jew? Be like a goy. Dress like them. Act like them. Want what they want. There's something called Sparta, the Greeks started. You have these gladiators fighting each other to the death. Fighting lions, fighting tigers. In Sparta, today they call it sport. So instead of going to shiur Torah, watch the basketball game at 10 o'clock at night.

1:05:56Instead of going to the shiur Gemara, let's go play some basketball. Let's do the, you know, that's what Sparta is. So in essence, even though everyone celebrates Chanukah every year, the secular Jews celebrate Chanukah, the religious Jews celebrate Chanukah, in reality, if the Greeks were still around, they'd be laughing. They'd say, hell, we won. Look how much time you spent on watching sports. It's not necessarily bad to play sports even watch sports as long as you can control the modesty, if it's even possible, because there's immodest commercials. It's that we don't go just a little bit; we don't just watch five minutes and then go back to what we're supposed to do. You watch the whole three-hour program, and then the next game, and then the next game. And the next thing you know, you know the salary cap of every team, you know the height and weight of every single player. know who's the next draft pick, you know the names of every coach; all of a sudden, you're an expert sports announcer without getting paid. Why? Because we give the yetzer hara one nail. He says, "Oh, this is a nice place. I like this house; feels at home, feels at home." That's why, even though it's not easy, it's not an easy lifestyle.

1:07:24The real, real serious Charedim, the real serious people of Torah, they try to do everything they possibly can to restrain their kids from the outside world. Now, too much restraining in our lowly generation is too much. Meaning that, you know, unless you can guarantee he's going to be living in a cave for the rest of his life, you're guaranteeing that eventually he's going to break. Why? Because if the kid doesn't know what an iPod is, and an iPad is, and a TV is, and the internet, and women, and nothing, he pretty much, all he knows is the books that are in front of him for the first 18 years of his life. At 19 years old, he gets married. Okay, now he's not going back to Abba and Ima. He has... Walking around the supermarket. We're not even saying he's going to the movies. We're not even saying he's going to some baseball game. He's going to the supermarket. All of a sudden, he sees that there are other women. He's never seen women before. The only woman he saw in his life was his wife. Now he sees another woman. The other woman is not exactly wearing clothes. They forgot the clothes at home.

1:08:42They figure they got to buy some fruits, lose some weight, and then they can wear the smaller clothes or something. They forgot the clothes at home. So he sees that. Then he sees electronics. Then he sees TV. Then he sees the games. Then he sees the internet. Next thing you know, they have serious, serious problems. And that's why many of the people that come to me with problems with either Shalom Bayit or wasting seed, they're not always necessarily secular. Many of them are actually very, very religious people. But they were contained to such an extent that eventually when they went out to the world, the Yetzer Hara exploded. So every parent has to do things with good measure. You can't make the kid feel like he's in a cave. At the same time, you can't send him to public school either. You have to control. You have to show him what's good, what's bad, and do your best. But you can't just completely shut him out because you're not going to be able to do that forever. And to release someone that's never seen the world out to the public is irresponsible. You're pretty much guaranteed that the guy is going to break. He's going to have a mental breakdown. A lot of these guys, I remember when I went to college, I went to Binghamton University. Many of the students were Jews in Binghamton University. Many of them came from very, very serious religious homes. And many of them became the worst kids on the entire campus. Biggest alcoholics.

1:10:10most immodest girls continue this list, and they'll discuss the worst behavior. Why? It's the first time they saw the world and they have complete freedom. They have no parents, no Abba, no Ima, or anything. They're in a dorm room, and it becomes Sodom and Gomorrah overnight. So, everything has to be within some control. You have to show them to choose right, not just limit them to such an extent. The point being is that we have to teach ourselves... To want to be good. To want to do ratzon Hashem. Not to just do it because we're robots. Not to just do it because we're scared to death. To want to be a proud Jew. Why? Because what's a proud Jew? You're, in essence, telling everybody, "Hey, by the way, my Abba is the King of Kings." Why wouldn't I be proud of it? What prince have you seen in history that was ashamed of being a prince? There's one prince in Italy.

1:11:10One prince in Italy, he's one of the last ones remaining. His family was thrown out or something like that. He works at a truck. He sells pizza. But he's really a prince. I'm serious. He's really a prince, but he works and he sells pizza. Why? Because they took all the money from his family. But until this day, he tells the world, "I'm a prince." He's still proud to be a prince, even though he sells pizza. No prince in the world is ashamed of being a prince. My dad's the king. Whether you like him, don't like him, agree with him, disagree with him, it's irrelevant. My dad's the king. By default, that makes it important. Your dad is the King of Kings. The Creator of the world. The everything. What are you so ashamed of? What's the problem? Once we actually start putting that and printing that into our mind, it becomes much easier to be a proud Jew. But a real Jew, not a proud Jew where sometimes we're proud. We wear a kippah to Beit Knesset, but outside we don't want to wear a kippah. We are modest when we go to the family dinners, but once in a while I want to go to the clubs and hang out with friends and have a few drinks. You're not going to find your husband in a bar.

1:12:31You're not going to create shalom bayit by going to a strip club. You're not going to be a successful businessman in the long term if you cheat people. Eventually, the punishment comes. It catches up to you. And at that point, what's going to happen? You're going to blame Hashem. Because all this time, you've been letting the yetzer hara influence your opinion to the point where the yetzer hara has become your opinion. So now when something different happens, you say, "Hey, Hashem, why'd You do that to me?" Thinking that you were right the whole time. "Look, Hashem, I was smoking at 3 o'clock in the morning for You as a mitzvah. I was learning Torah. Why'd You give me cancer? Why'd You give me this? Why'd You give me that?" What do you mean? Who told you to smoke? Who told you not to smoke? So what was the ultimate decision? The ultimate decision is that I realized that, okay, the yetzer hara is full of it, which means I'm full of it.

1:13:31i have to find a way to quit, not because I want to quit—I like smoking—but because it's not the will of Hashem. Hashem didn't put me into this world to be a smoker. It's not the will of Hashem. And I started thinking to myself, okay, wait a minute, so what do I do with my hands? What do I do with my hands? Like, how do people live without smoking cigarettes? Look, I got to a point, after 20 years of smoking, I didn't understand how anybody stands outside and does nothing. Like, what do you do? Like, why are you just sitting there? What's wrong with you? Like, why don't you have something in your hand? To me, my smoking became normal. Their standing there is not normal. Like, it can't be that they're right. Of course, I'm right. You know, you never think anybody else is right. Everyone thinks they're right. Why are you just standing there? You're so weird. And I'm thinking to myself, I'm smoking a cigarette, thinking it's normal. That was one thing. And then the other one was like, okay, so then I'm probably going to eat too much. Then I'm going to gain weight. So that was another yetzer hara. And you just add more and more and more things. How am I going to study? How am I going to stay up? And then I started seeing myself. I tried quitting.

1:14:47I started seeing myself fall asleep. I said, see Hashem? Told you it keeps me up at night. And you go back and you fight yourself and you fight yourself. But eventually, you have to get to a point and you say, listen, this is not Ratzon Hashem. And when did I finally realize it? I got to a point where I wouldn't smoke next to people. And the reason why is because one time I did a shiur early, early on. And a couple of my students went outside. It was in my house. A couple of my students went. went outside, they were all smoking cigarettes. I said, okay, so I'll smoke a cigarette with them. I didn't think it was a big deal. They're smoking, but they're looking at me smoking. They're smokers. Like, it wasn't even a thought in my mind that there’s anything wrong with this. So I lit up a cigarette, and they were looking at me like, oh, you smoke? I said, yeah, why? They're like, oh. That's it, that's all I did. Oh. And immediately I knew that their level of respect, not just for me, but for everything I just said, had dropped drastically. Why? Because I'm just like them. We officially became the same level. It doesn't matter that I just spoke for two hours, taught you Torah, I told you what Ratzon Hashem is, I told you Emunah, it doesn't make a difference. You and me are the same. You smoke, I smoke.

1:16:13And this was, what reminded me of this is when I used to see fakers that wear a costume that looks like Chassidut, they wear the big hat, or they wear any type of hat, and they look like religious people, and I would see them in casinos in different places, and I'm like, wait a minute, I'm not religious, that's why I'm here. What are you doing here? So then it gave me a visual of Judaism, it's like it's fake. If you're here and I'm here, I prefer my life to yours. So that simple cigarette, that simple tiny nail that I let the yetzer hara in, like, hey, listen, they're smoking. I'll smoke. What's the big deal? Immediately destroyed the Torah that I taught them and became chillul Hashem. So then I knew, this has to be the last cigarette. I can never do this again. And that's when I had to quit. But again, it's not easy. I didn't actually want to do it. But sometimes... you have to decide: Is your will more important than Hashem's will? If the answer is even remotely yes, you have a lot of work to do. That's when you have to eliminate your opinion. You have to eliminate it as much as possible until it becomes synonymous with Hashem's opinion. That's what real, true life is. That's what's going to get you to be a proud Jew. That's what's going to get you to a point where

1:17:35the 20% of Am Yisrael that made it to Mount Sinai and survived and prospered, that's what's going to get you to be one of them. Because if we're not, eventually we're also going to be given the choice. Just like Am Yisrael was given a choice in Egypt: leave now or die. Some didn't want to leave, Hashem killed them. 80% is the most lenient opinion. The nicest opinion, the most politically correct opinion, is that 80% of Am Yisrael was killed in the Plague of Darkness. That's double the Holocaust, at the very least. Some say it's much, much more. 80% made the wrong choice. They said, no, we don't want. We don't want the Torah. Just bring it to us. We'll stay here. We'll wait for you here. We'll listen to it. We'll follow it. We'll do whatever you want. But we don't want to do it over there. We want to do it here. Meaning, they put their opinion, just a little bit of their opinion, not that much of their opinion. They didn't say, listen, we want to worship idols. That they didn't say. They didn't say, no, we want to continue eating non-kosher. They didn't say that. We eat kosher. They said, no, we just don't want to accept it. We don't want to go there. Bring it to us. One nail.

1:18:47One nail, Hashem said, one nail, I can't help you, my friend. And He removed them from the world. Even the 20% that were left were brought to Mount Sinai and were given that black-and-white choice again: You're here, you want My Torah, that means it's our wedding. You don't want My Torah, here you will die. Here you'll be buried. So again, even those people, the ones that remained, had to make a serious choice. But the good news is, the ones that stuck around and kept making the right choice, they're the ones we read about. They're the ones that have their names live forever. They're the ones that are the most righteous people that ever lived. They're the ones that spread the Torah. They're the ones that are Am Yisrael. They're the proud Jews. So the key is that if we want to be one of those 20%, when Mashiach comes, we already have to be ready at that time. We have to be ready 100% that we've already made that choice. We've made that distinction between a proud Jew and a fake Jew. There are plenty of fake Jews. Plenty. Sometimes they wear hats. Sometimes they wear wigs. Sometimes they wear a mitpachat. You know, some of them are fake even with the, you know,

1:20:15They can look like the most righteous person in the world, but they're fake. Some of them look like bus drivers and car mechanics. Some of them are lawyers, doctors, and politicians. And then there's the righteous ones. All walks of life. All types of looks. The exterior is not going to be the given. But the one thing I can tell you for sure is that if the exterior is immodest, the interior cannot be any good. So the exterior has to be modest. Once the exterior is modest, then you have a 50-50 chance. And as far as figuring out which 50% it is, whether it's a proud Jew or not, you could ask them simply, you could look at them just based on how they make their decisions. If Hashem is flowing out of their mouth, as soon as they say something, it's, everything that they say constantly has Hashem in mind. This is somebody that is proud to be a Jew. But if they're the type of people that are a Jew in hiding, like, "Yeah, you know, I worked really hard, and I succeeded, and yeah, we bought a house," where's the Baruch Hashem part? Like, you made it, or God made it?

1:21:36you created it or God created it. So, when you are really truly a proud Jew, Hashem has to be on the tip of your tongue at all times. Any questions? Now you have questions. You don't know the whole Torah yet. I don't know either. So, you have to ask questions. What if a woman dresses modestly, and yet she gets a lot of attention? Not a problem. Not a problem. You are allowed to be an attractive woman. A woman is allowed to be attractive. Hashem obviously created her that way. What you are supposed to be is modest. The fact that there's always going to be some sick guy that's going to make a tree look like an attractive woman, it's not your problem. Your problem is the effort. This is the same thing when somebody asks me, wait a minute, wasting seed, wasting seed is a very, very big problem. Because every time a young boy or an old man wastes seed, they're almost killing, destroying millions and millions of neshamot. It's a serious problem. Like, you're going to show up to Beit Din of Shamayim as the biggest murderer in history, and you want to go to Gan Eden? You have something coming to you. Like, you have a serious problem here. So now somebody said, okay, fine. Wasting seed is no good. We get it. We have a whole three-hour shiur about it.

1:23:04But why, if the seed's ultimate purpose is to reproduce, to bring children into the world, is a man allowed to be with his wife intimately when she's pregnant? She can't get pregnant twice. She's already pregnant. Why is a man allowed to be with his wife if he knows for sure biologically she cannot be pregnant? She can't. They're already too old. She can't. She had some type of surgery to remove her uterus. or ovaries, she can't get pregnant. It's physically impossible. So why is he still allowed to, in essence, use his seed? The answer is that the outcome is not your business. Your business is the effort. You are supposed to do what Hashem said. What actually ends up happening as an outcome of your actions is not your business. You are supposed to wake up and pray. Whether Hashem decides to answer your prayer or not, it's not your business. It's Hashem's business. You are supposed to try to make a living in an honest way. Whether you end up being rich or poor, it's not your business. Hashem decides. You could be a truck driver and a multi-millionaire. You could be a lawyer and a poor person. I've seen guys that are geniuses and poor, and fools and multi-millionaires.

1:24:31There's a rich person in every job. There's a poor person in every job. Your responsibility is not the outcome. It has nothing to do with you. Your responsibility is the effort. Your responsibility is not what's in other people's minds. Your responsibility is what you're going to do intentionally. Meaning that if you are going to make it easy for their minds to travel to inappropriate places, it's your problem. You have a serious problem in your head. But if you've done everything you possibly can to cover yourself, and really this guy just has a very vivid imagination, he thinks the wall looks like a woman too. That's not your problem; that's his problem. He's been watching too many TV shows, you know? So, that's the thing. So, our issue is understanding what our responsibility is. The responsibility of a man is to make sure that whenever he's intimate with his wife...

1:25:32He makes sure that the semen goes inside her body in the right place. Whether she becomes pregnant or not, it's not his problem. It's not his problem. Hashem decides. So now the question goes, where's the source for this in the Torah? Avraham Avinu. The Zohar HaKadosh says that Avraham Avinu and his wife were together for decades. before Sarai Imeinu became pregnant. She didn't become pregnant for 90 years. What, Avraham Avinu wasted seed for 80 years? 70 years? No. The Zohar HaKadosh says that even though they didn't bring a physical child to the world, they actually created souls. Each one of those seeds became a soul. Where do those souls appear? They're all the converts. All the converts that we have today to this day came from Avraham Avinu's seed. This is obviously mystical, above and beyond the standard of this shiur, but the point is that Avraham Avinu was exerting effort. Outcome, not his problem. The fact that it was physically impossible for Sarai Imeinu to be pregnant was not his business. He didn't worry about it. He still tried.

1:26:53Hashem decided eventually, at 90 years old, to make his wife perfectly healthy, recreate a uterus for her, and Baruch Hashem, we have Yitzchak. The point being is that the outcome is Hashem's business. Whether you're going to be rich or poor, Hashem's business. Whether you're going to find a husband that's righteous, Hashem's business. Whether you're going to be a big talmid chacham, Hashem's business. You, exert effort. You want to be a talmid chacham? Sacrifice your life for Torah. Remove your personal opinion. Remove your personal desires. Remove as much physical stuff as possible from your life. You want to be a real talmid chacham? Look at the Mishnah in Pirkei Avot, chapter 5. It talks about how, in order to become a real, serious talmid chacham, you have to lower all the things that you intake. Lower your intake of food. Lower your intake of physical things around you. Lower even your sexual activity with your wife. You want to be serious? You want to be Rambam? You have to make sure that Torah becomes priority number one. It doesn't say don't be with your wife. Obviously, you're obligated to your wife. But the point is that you have to make Torah number one. Not everybody is necessarily destined to be a talmid chacham. But at least you have an instruction set on how to do it. You want to be a tzaddikah? You have certain rules to follow. You have to be modest. You have to be righteous. You have to be righteous with your mouth, not just with your clothes. You have to obviously honor your husband like he's a king.

1:28:20You have to treat yourself like you're a queen, meaning look like a queen. Did anybody ever see the Queen of England with a mini skirt? Anyone ever seen the Queen of England with a bikini? No. Why? Because it’s not desirable, it’s not normal for a queen of a country to walk around with a bikini. Only once in history did somewhat of a queen, not a real queen, but somewhat of a queen, walking around sleeveless. Who? Michelle Obama. She made it fashionable to walk around sleeveless. It's the first time in history. No other first lady in history walked around like that. Ridiculous. But that's why the respect for her was different than for anybody else. So the point is that you want to be a queen? Act like one. You want to be a prince? Act like one. Be proud of it. Don't be ashamed of it. Next. Yeah. It's kind of like a private question, I think, but I can use it as, like, you're just saying, of course, that you have, you know, you don't have an outcome thing, right? Mm-hmm. Let's say your kid doesn't want to be Jewish and religious, and that's his... I did everything I could. How old is the kid? Now he's 13. And I did everything I could. Mm-hmm.

1:29:46And T.J. doesn't want to be. Am I supposed to still continue? As long as he's under your roof. As long as he's under your roof. Am I supposed to keep dealing with him even though to me it's like I don't want to deal with him anymore because of what he's doing? And he chose to go to his father now, so I don't really see him anymore. But do I have to, like, until he's 18? What do I do, like, to try to get him back to Hashem? What am I supposed to do? Like, I don't know what to do. He's not 18 yet, I know. He's not 20, whatever, like they say. But as he gets older, am I supposed to, like, still keep in touch with him in a way? Or just let it go and see what Hashem does? I mean, yeah. I know it's not my outcome. 100%.

1:30:47You have to try to do everything you possibly can to motivate them to come back. And in order to do that, sometimes it can't really come from you. Meaning that you have to motivate them indirectly. Like, for example, some of the people that are most important to me weren't religious, just like I wasn't religious. Now, if I came to them originally and told them, "Listen, you should start keeping Shabbat," what would you tell me? Just because you start keeping Shabbat, I'm going to keep Shabbat. Just because you're doing this, I'm going to do this. Who are you to tell me? You just became religious last week. You're going to tell me now? They wouldn't take it from me. And I understood this quickly, early on, because I tried influencing some people and they laughed in my face. So I gave up very quickly, but I realized that it's still very important for me for them to come back to Hashem because I finally realized and saw the truth. So I tried to influence them indirectly. How was it indirectly? By giving them a CD. Get somebody else to talk to them. Get the Rabbi to talk to them. Get the school to talk to them. Get a friend to talk to them. Get someone else that they would look up to. That's one way. The second way is to try to find out what's the root cause of their behavior. In traditional cases, not all cases, but in traditional cases, it's their surroundings.

1:32:13So, for example, if you send a kid to a school that's comprised of a bunch of secular kids, naturally he's going to want to be secular. If you send him to public school, he's going to want to be like the goyim. Why would he want to be Jewish in the public school? I actually know two kids that are really religious who go to public school because, unfortunately, the yeshiva system where they live is horrific, and they refuse to let anyone in without having money. They can't afford it. But I don't know. I find that horrific. I think that any school that rejects a kid because of money should not be a school because they're doing it as a business. It's not Judaism. Yes, of course, you have to make money. You have to put a roof over everyone. You have to pay the teachers. I'm not saying that yeshiva should be free or anything. Yeah, of course. If it costs money, it costs money. But to reject a kid because of money? You're a wicked person. So a... A key important thing is that I saw that it is possible to have a religious kid go to public school, but it's very uncommon. Very uncommon, don't try this at home type of thing. Now, most kids that go to public school want nothing to do with Judaism. Why? Because they feel embarrassed by their friends. And a kid that's 13 years old is highly motivated by his surroundings.

1:33:40by his surroundings. Much more than an adult. He doesn't have his own unique opinion yet. He has an opinion, but that opinion is a reflection of his exterior. So that exterior, most of the time, comes from his friends. The other place that it comes from is from... He's been at MTJ for the past eight years. Certainly. MTJ. With Rabbi Feinstein. In front of Rabbi Feinstein. With Rabbi Feinstein's son. That's what I'm saying. He's totally with the whole thing and totally went against everything. Everything. And he went to public school now. But who decided whether he goes to public school or not? How come he can't go to work? Because he's living with his father. Okay, so that's the thing. So he has the influence of his father. Right. So I don't even see him anymore. I have nothing to do with it. I don't know if I want to do anything with him because he's going against Hashem the way he is and chose it on his own to do this. So that's what I'm saying. I don't know if I am supposed to continue speaking to this kid or just let it go because Hashem says, okay, you're not. I did what I had to. I've been raising him.

1:34:54Yeah, I mean, you have a situation that's different than the thing. Okay, so if, let's say, for example, the parents were still married and you were still under the same roof as the child, both parents, which means that the influence of both parents is united. You would still be responsible as much as possible to influence him as long as he's under your roof. But as soon as he moved houses and he lives with his father... which obviously is a primary influence in his life. You could try to influence him if it's possible, but it also says in certain places that if it's, you know, certain things, certain times where you're wasting your time, meaning that if you know that someone is not going to listen to you, don't bother telling them. Now, some people take this specific ma'amar from the Gemara, where if you know someone's not going to listen, just don't bother telling them, a little too far. Meaning that they say, "Listen, I'm not going to tell the guy that violates Shabbat to keep Shabbat because he's just not going to listen, so why bother?" But that's not true. That's not what the Gemara says. The Gemara says that if it's something that's not from biblical, if it's something that's rabbinical, meaning if you see that he is, for example, he's...

1:36:11he's making any type of rabbinical sin, and you know that if you tell him, "Listen, you really should do netilat yadayim," and he says, "Come on, leave me alone," if you know he's going to say "leave me alone," don't bother telling him. Because why? Because it's a rabbinical sin. But if you see the guy driving on Shabbat, that's a biblical sin, you have to tell him something. So people take this too far, and that's one of the excuses that people use not to tell others to keep Shabbat. not to rebuke the people around them. But this also brings us back to that Gemara in Masechet Chagigah that we talked about before, which is that Hashem destroyed the Beit HaMikdash because everyone mistranslated this Gemara and got to a point where they said, "You know what? They're not going to listen anyway, so I'm not going to say anything." And this is the reason why Hashem punished the rabbis before He punished the secular people during the times of the Beit HaMikdash. So, On that end, if it's a united house, you'd still be responsible. If it's not a united house, if it's unfortunately a broken house where the primary influence in his life is his father, and your opinion is virtually worthless at this stage,

1:37:27This is very little you can do. The one thing I would definitely suggest for you to do is just like Hashem did not give up on us, don't give up on him completely. Always try, but try with, like, you know, small little tidbits, little grains. Just like David HaMelech says, eventually you're going to yield the benefit out of these grains, out of these seeds that you plant. You can plant seeds here and there. So, okay, so it's not every day, listen, you should keep Shabbat, you should do this, you should stop this. No, not every day. Because then he's not going to want to talk to you, he's going to dafka against you. But, when you go, if you see him, give him a CD. It doesn't matter if he listens to it or not. Just give him the CD. He says, no, I don't want a CD. Okay, just take it, just in case. Take it. Just make your mom happy for five seconds by taking the CD. Even if you know for sure he's going to throw it in the garbage, don't worry, I'll pay for it. Give him the CD. Next thing after that, don't ever stop praying for him. Don't ever stop praying for him. Why? Because if you look at everyone today, that's like the biggest ba'alei teshuva, the serious, most serious ba'alei teshuva. Who is it? The younger generation. You see their parents? None of them are religious. Sometimes you have religious parents, shomer Shabbat. But for the most part,

1:38:42Parents sometimes are kofrim. I have one guy, one student, a Russian guy. Baruch Hashem, he did teshuva. Baruch Hashem, he got married. The guy was an atheist before me. Atheist, mamash atheist. He came to me, started doing teshuva, started, mamash, like started learning every day. One day, he calls his mom, who lives in Israel. He tells her, "Ima, listen, I just wanted to let you know that, you know, when you come visit me, I keep Shabbat." What are you doing that for? What do you mean? No, the last six months I've become religious. He starts crying on the phone. He says, "I would have preferred you tell me that you're addicted to cocaine instead." That's his parents. The problem is that you have some serious Baalei Teshuva in the world today. You look at their parents like, whose merit is it? Look, you know, because it says, the merit of the parent. Look at the parents. Sometimes the parents are the worst people on earth. So what is it?

1:39:49The merit of some grandparent, some great-grandparent, that didn't stop praying for that kid. And the kid died without doing teshuva. But Hashem said that prayer has to go somewhere. So I promise you that at some point that neshama will do teshuva. It'll come back in a gilgul. Because you can't go to Gan Eden. It has to come back. Come back in a gilgul, eventually it's going to do teshuva. Why? For the prayer from five generations ago. One of the biggest things I can tell you, me, myself for example, the number one reason that motivated my teshuva, I think the only merit that I have, is my mother's prayers. My mother prayed for ten years. Ten years for me to do teshuva. I mean, the amount of prayer that this woman made, and it's not like she was a rebbetzin or anything. But she believed that I could do teshuva. Why? I have no idea. She had dreams, she had this, she had that, I don't know. All I know is that she didn't stop praying for me. i was with my wife at the time that she wasn't Jewish for a long time. She's not going to say, "Listen, leave her." She knew I wasn't going to leave her. On top of that, she couldn't not like her. She's the most likable person on earth. On top of that, she's the only person that cared about me when I was sick and miserable and wanted to kill myself with all the sickness that I had.

1:41:08So you can't really go against the Torah. You can't really say much to me. Like, the last thing I want to do is start keeping Shabbat. I'm dying from pain right now. Leave me alone. So what do you do? What do you have left to do? Pray to Hashem. Hashem, save this kid. Doctors say he's dying. She didn't stop praying for 10 years, with prayers and tears and tears and tears. The woman didn't stop crying. She called or went to every single rabbi I know of, I mean, I can think of. She went to Israel. She went to Morocco. She went all over America. She called every rabbi. She has a book, a black book, full of rabbis' names. You would think this is Gedolei HaDor. It's like you think this is some major rabbinate who knows everybody in the world. She, any rabbi that had a name she found out, she called him. And she didn't stop calling him until he answered the phone finally, or he called her back. Finally, when he called back, "Okay, Giveret, what can I do for you? What do you want?" "Pray for my son." "Who's your son?" She said, "My son, he's scared." She'd give him the whole story and start crying to them and crying to them. And the rabbi would start crying with her. You see this woman, this poor woman is crying for her son so much, you feel bad. They start crying with her. She's crying. They start praying.

1:42:21One time, this big rabbi, this big Mekubal in Netanya, gave her a shock. She went—this was a long time ago—and she waited in line. This specific rabbi didn't see women. Holy, holy person. Usually, the women see his wife. But she was waiting, waiting, and she saw him passing. She started screaming to the rabbi, "Please, please, answer me, answer me." She started, like, mamash, hysterical, crying. She really believes in rabbis. She really values the tzaddikim. And not chas v'shalom, she doesn't pray to rabbis, but she values them, she values their Torah. She started hysterically crying, then he stopped. He didn't turn around and start talking; he just stopped, just to hear what, you know, what she says. And she started crying hysterically, "Pray for my sons, pray for my son, my son, my son, my son, my son." The only thing he said, I don't know what he knew or didn't know, I don't know what he knew. All I know is that what she told me is shakta. She said, "Your son has to do teshuva. Your son has to do teshuva," that's all he said and left. That's the cure. So a mother's prayers have no end.

1:43:45All of the gates of heaven can be closed except the tears of the mother that prays for her son. So as much bitterness as he's creating in your heart, he's still your son. You know it. I know it. As annoying as he is, as frustrating as he is, as frustrating as his father is, as frustrating as his surroundings are, it doesn't make a difference. In the end, you're still going to cry over him. So might as well pray to Hashem while you're crying. Because Hashem is listening. Because He's also His son. So don't give up. Don't give up. Don't give up. Listen, if I could do teshuva, anybody in the world could do teshuva. If I could do teshuva, I'm telling you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. zero. My son was born, and I taught him since he was born. He went to MTJ for eight years. He has to go to MTJ and be around Rav Feinstein and his children and grandchildren and everything. Most people don't have that. Okay, I'm thinking to myself, well, if he had all that and he still decided to go against Hashem, I don't know if it's the same kind of thing as you're not ever knowing and then...

1:45:01You know what I'm saying? But somebody that knew and knows everything, you know, since he was a baby. I said he's been there for eight years. Okay, so that'll give you some hope from the Torah. Because I know you said that the evil ones always get it in the end, destroyed, because he's acting right now. He's like one of those people. He's only 13. He's only 13. Yeah, but he's, you know, I'm fine. He said I was right. He said I was right. I'm fine. He speaks to me every time about my son, and I'm like, he's really against it. Like, Why is that? He makes... Listen, well, listen, it's not a big deal. Okay, but I'm saying, what does he do that's so against the Torah? Like what? Does he kill people? Is he homosexual?

1:46:02I'm asking you for a reason, I'm not trying to make sense. Okay. Okay. Does he, okay. Does he, does he commit any sex crimes? Why am I asking you these questions? Hold on. Why am I asking you these questions? Why am I asking you these questions? Okay. One time there was a big tzaddik. One time there was a big tzaddik. Such a big tzaddik. that he made the entire nation learn Torah full-time. To such an extent that Hashem said, if I would decide to bring the Mashiach, he would be the Mashiach. His name was Chizkiyahu. The Torah, one of the 24 books of the Tanach, talks about the story of Chizkiyahu. He was the king of Israel and he was a tzaddik. To such an extent He said, he put the sword down, he dug it into the ground. He said, "Whoever doesn't go learn Torah, I'm going to kill them. You have no choice. You have to go learn Torah." To such an extent that even the babies, the 18-month-old babies, knew the entire Mishnah by heart. To that extent. We don't know the entire Mishnah by heart. We're 80 years old. Little babies, 18 months old. To that extent.

1:47:27Now, one day the prophet comes to him and says, "Tomorrow you're going to die. Tomorrow is your last day. You got sick, and tomorrow you're going to die." So he said, "Why? One day I'm Moshiach, the next day I'm going to die. Why? What did I do?" He said, "Because you decided not to get married." He said, "Yes, but I did a mitzvah. What was my mitzvah? My mitzvah was..." that I knew, I saw through prophecy, that my son is going to be Menashe. Menashe is a rasha merusha. He's going to rape his own family. He's going to kill his grandfather. He's going to do all the worst possible. He's going to bring idol worship to Am Yisrael. This is not some guy. This is the king who is going to bring idol worship to Am Yisrael. You want me to bring this to the world? You want me to bring an enemy of Hashem to the world? The prophet says it's not your business. The outcome is not your business. You are still responsible to fulfill the mitzvah. Simple mitzvah. Have intimacy with your wife. Bring a child to the world. She says to the Prophet, okay, that's what Hashem wants. If that's really what it's all about, let me marry your daughter. He marries the Prophet's daughter, and Menashe is born.

1:48:49Menashe makes your kid look like the Gadol HaDor of Tzadikim. Menashe took his grandfather, Yeshayahu HaNavi, and chopped him into pieces, like they do at the butcher. Chopped him into pieces. His grandfather, the Prophet, he took him and chopped him up, and that's why he actually committed murder. If he commits murder, maybe he'll be like Menashe. But he doesn't commit murder, Baruch Hashem. Chopped him up, the Prophet, the Gadol HaDor, he chopped him up. Raped. murdered, idol worship, everything and anything you can possibly imagine. What's the end of the story of Menashe? He did teshuva. The Gemara says, he has a share of the World to Come. With all the problems that he has, he is still mentioned in the Book of Chronicles. Why? He did teshuva. At the end of his life, he did teshuva. But he wasn't mentioned directly in his own book, in his own story. Why? Because it took time for all of the idol worship that he brought to the world to be removed from the world. For all of the sins that he caused to be eliminated eventually. It took several generations for that to be over. But eventually, when all of the sins and all of the bad things that he caused and led to were removed from the world, he was welcomed to Olam HaBa.

1:50:05and he's mentioned as someone who has a share in Olam HaBa. And this is someone, when you just hear the details of just one of the stories, not all of them, one of them, you're like, how is this person even mentioned in the Torah? This person worked with Paro. Has a share in Olam HaBa. Why? Because of teshuva. If he could do teshuva, I could do teshuva. If I could do teshuva, your son could do teshuva. What do you need? You need mercy from Hashem. How do you get mercy from Hashem? You pray to Him. Say, "Hashem, I did everything I could. I sent him to a good school. I went to a big Rabbi. I pray to You. I learn Your Torah. I try to fulfill everything possible. I try to do everything. You are my number one foundational reason for every decision. I do everything You want. You said, 'Make your will into My will, and I'll make My will into your will.' You said it. So what's missing?" There's one secret ingredient that I can give you. Be'ezrat Hashem, it will put your son and your prayers on a VIP list. This we said before in the Shul, but it's worth mentioning again. The Prophet Isaiah mentions, I believe it's chapter 33, in the Book of Jeremiah, chapter 33. Im tashuv, ashiveni lifnei kapayim.

1:51:35Hashem says to the Prophet, if you do teshuva, tell Am Yisrael if they do teshuva, I welcome them, they'll stand next to me. But if you bring one of my children back to me, you will be like my mouth. Meaning, if you do teshuva, I always accept it, even Menashe could do teshuva, you could do teshuva. No problem, that's the first part. The second part is much more significant for this situation. He says, "But if you bring one of My children back home, I love My children. I created them. I created the whole world for them. I created all these stars for them. Everything is for them. The Torah is for them. Everything is for them. But they ran away from Me. They used the tools that I gave them against Me. I gave them a tool called loss of memory. Why? Because I don't want them to be sad because they have some bad memories. So I want them to forget these bad memories." You know, remember that he lost his puppy. You want him to cry about the lost puppy when he's 35 years old? You know, the lost game of cards with his friend. You want him to cry when he's 35 years old? It's 30 years ago already. His teacher yelled at him. You want him to cry 20 years later because the teacher yelled at him? He fell and he broke his hand. You want him to cry from the pain that he had 15 years ago from a broken hand? No. So Hashem gave us forgetfulness, memory loss. Why? As a tool. As a tool...

1:52:59to ease our pain. Eventually, all pain goes away. Why? Because of this tool. What did we do with this tool? We used this tool of forgetfulness against Hashem. What did we do with it? We forgot Hashem. We forgot Hashem as the Boss. Instead of forgetting the bad things, we forgot the good things. So Hashem says to the prophet, "One of my sons, one of my daughters, they forgot me." They use that thing I gave them, they use it against me. They use the parnasah to go pay for things that are against me. Bring them back to me. Remind them of me. I'm here. Remind them. Bring them back. You do that, you achieve that, you get somebody to keep Shabbat, you get somebody to be serious about me, learn Torah on a regular basis, and your prayer will be like my prayer. Meaning, your mouth will be like my mouth. Even if I bring a decree to the world and I say, "This person's time is up. He's run out; I have to give him Shem HaShem disease, cancer," you pray for him, you could override that decree. Why? You have VIP treatment. Why do you have VIP treatment? Because just like I created man, when you bring him back to me, you're also considered a creator.

1:54:30So now, Hashem loves every single one of His creations. He loves every single one of His children even more so, especially when they're called chosen. Your son is also chosen, but he doesn't want to be chosen because he doesn't know what it means. So you can't do much right now, but he can. So my strategy is, go worry about Hashem's other kids. Go try to get Hashem's other kids to come back to Hashem. Hashem sees that, oh, you were with My other kids? Okay, okay, where's your kid now? Oh, come, come. And that's what happened with many of the people, Baruch Hashem, that I couldn't reach. Family, friends, different people, Baruch Hashem, that there's no way in the world that I could influence them. Why? Because they're always going to look at me as my past. This is Mr. Businessman, this is this, this is that. It wasn't like, I wasn't a murderer exactly. i was a decent human being. Shani over here worked for me for many years. He knows me. He can tell you guys I wasn't a murderer. I helped a lot of people. I was a decent human being. But according to Hashem, it was a cheshbon. I didn't follow His laws. So they remember me as that guy. So for me to go come to him and say, hey, you should keep Shabbat, you should keep this, you should keep that, some people just can't get over that hump. They just can't do it.

1:55:53But I still like them. I still care for them. I still want Hashem to help them. So I pray for them. I pray for them. But Hashem, every time we do a lecture, every time we do a shiur, every time we give out a CD, it helps. It helps. It helps. And I start seeing some of these people that I couldn't influence even if my life depended on it. I see Hashem opens the door in a different way. All of a sudden, they come, "Oh, you know that Rabbi Mizrachi guy?" I'm like, "Yeah, yeah, I heard about him. Yeah, I heard about him. What about him?" "Yeah, he's amazing. Did you ever hear about him? He's good." I'm like, "Yeah, I don't want to give you a CD," but I don't even say it. I don't know why they gave me the CD even though. Who cares? It doesn't make a difference. Let them do teshuva. Oh, they come to me with a chiddush. Oh, you ever hear this? Wow, amazing. Who cares? I don't need the credit. He knows in Shamayim what I tried. Point is, Hashem opened the door in a different way. You like this rabbi, you like that rabbi. It doesn't make a difference to me. Just do teshuva. So, best thing to do, start making other children of Hashem. Your top priority, every day, a few minutes every day, five minutes, 10 minutes, 20 minutes, depending on how much time you have, an hour, whatever time you have, contribute to kiruv. Contribute in every way you possibly can to do kiruv. But on a regular basis, not like once in a while. Every day, do something. If you have money, contribute money. If you have time, contribute time. If you have a skill, contribute a skill. If you have all, contribute all. The point is, make kiruv your business. Of course, you have to work, you have to live, you have to do whatever you gotta do to survive.

1:57:21The point is, make kiruv a serious part of your life. Why? Because the only way your son is going to get this VIP treatment is if you become one of those that Hashem calls, "You’ll be like My mouth." You become like His mouth, you don't even have to worry anymore. Eventually, it's going to happen. Stop worrying. You don't have to worry about it. It's paid for already. You just don't know. It hasn't shown up in the bank account yet. Next. Now, do you have some more questions or did we finish the entire Torah? Baruch Adonai le'olam. Amen ve'amen.