Raising Children and much more - STUMP THE RABBI (59)

0:17We're back here in Aventura doing our weekly shiur, "Stump the Rabbi." You guys have some questions. HaKadosh Baruch Hu. Surely, B'ezrat Hashem will give us some answers, as He has already for the last couple of years of doing this series. Now, usually when I ask you if you have any questions, everybody is stumped. Instead of you guys stumping me, you are stumped. I don't have anything, so I have to create some questions. I'm going to ask you guys a question. I'm going to ask you guys a question, but you're going to have to give me a source, not just "I think that's worse." Joshua, especially you, had some off time; you better get some answers. Okay, so let me ask you guys a question: What's worse, watching a movie...

1:45watching a movie, one of these tinofet movies, one of these movies that has filth in it, or doing the actual act inside the Beit HaMikdash Kodesh HaKodashim. I know you're scared to answer, but I can hear you. Chavot. Uriel. What's Kodesh Kodashim? Kodesh Kodashim. Inside the Beit HaMikdash. Beit HaMikdash, the holiest place in the world where the Kohen HaGadol would speak to HaKadosh Baruch Hu on Yom Kippur, and HaKadosh Baruch Hu would forgive us. It was such a holy place that if the Kohen Gadol would think about anything but Hashem during those few minutes that he was inside the Kodesh Kodashim, he would die on the spot. It was so scary that because no one else was allowed to go inside the Kodesh HaKodashim, they would tie a chain to the leg of the Kohen Gadol because the Kohen Gadol had little bells on his body, on his uniform, on his Shmoneh Begadim that he had, and every time he moved, there were little bells sounding. So if they...

3:12knew he was alive because they heard little bells. If there were no bells, they started suspecting maybe he died. If there were no bells for a minute or two, for sure he died. They started pulling the chain because they couldn't go inside—they would die. They pulled the chain, pulled the body out. In the Second Beit HaMikdash, Rabotai, there were over 300 Kohanim Gedolim in a span of less than 300 years, meaning... None of them even survived a single year. Everybody died. That's how holy the Kodesh HaKodashim is. So, for the kavod of Satan, who showed up late, we're going to ask the question again, because I think Satan has the answer. You guys don't have an answer. Ari maybe has the answer. Satan has the answer. Satan number two maybe has the answer. I'm going to ask you guys a question because you guys don't have questions for me. I'm going to ask you guys a question. What is worse? watching an immoral, filthy, disgusting movie or doing the actual act itself, the sin itself, inside the Kodesh HaKodashim? Ari, give me an answer. Give me an answer, not a theory. No, it's the same. Why is it the same in your mind? So when, uh...

4:40what's the worst crime? You are in the right direction. What's the worst crime: watching a filthy movie or doing the act inside the Kodesh HaKodashim? No, you're already on the right track; just the second half wasn't good. No, no, no, no. The sons of Aharon, they made a mistake, they died. They were not punished in the same way. Worse or not worse. Okay, no. Almost the same. Part of your answer is right. No, so the other part's wrong. So give me something. Sutton was raising his hand.

5:40thoughts have seen the worst, but okay. But I'm asking, I'm telling you, the, uh, the kal vachomer (a fortiori argument): the actual act, thought, is worse. He gave me an answer with a source. No, what else? Who else has something? You're right, but I need more. Okay, no. Joshua with the mask on... I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm busting your chops. No, come on. Now, here's the problem. You're giving me the same answer Sutton did, and I know you're both liars. You're giving me the answer, but you're both liars. Why? Because if you believe the answer, not a single one of you guys would ever look at another girl. Not a single one of you guys will pick up a video game. Not a single one of you guys would turn on a television. Not a single one of you guys would even want to leave the house of Shemesh Moreh Yetzir. Why? Look at this filth. The reason we have the shiurim at night is not because I have nothing to do the rest of the day. So come on, I need more. I need you guys to tell me why it is so bad to think bad? Why is it so bad to think bad? Ari already had something. Sutton completed it, but Joshua is repeating what they're saying.

7:09not worse, it's the same; it's not worse, but if it's worse or it's the same, both of us agree that it's terrible. How can we still look at stuff? The punishment is that HaKadosh Baruch Hu rips you apart. That's the punishment. The punishment is worse, right? Then you stop doing it. Like no, no, by the time there's the punishment, it's too late, right? now you're contradicting your own answer. Ah, so now he's got a contradiction. No, anybody else want to add to it? This is good. I mean, the commentary explains that one will Here you go, guys. I'm going to give you an actual situation since the girls are still scared to answer. No, but it's good. You guys gave me some good stuff. It's good stuff. Page 56b has a story, one of the most

8:34Horrific stories mention in the Gemara, one of the worst things that happened in the history of mankind. Called Maaseh Titus. Titus HaRasha, after he saw that his father failed at conquering Yerushalayim, made it his life mission to conquer Yerushalayim, but not just conquer Yerushalayim, destroy Judaism, destroy God, destroy everything. After he broke in, he destroyed the Beit HaMikdash. It wasn't enough for him. He wanted to intentionally go to war against HaKadosh Baruch Hu himself. He wanted to make HaKadosh Baruch Hu angry. So he took a promiscuous woman, he took a Sefer Torah, and he went inside the Kodesh HaKodashim. And he went inside the Kodesh HaKodashim and committed the sin inside the Kodesh HaKodashim, on top of the Sefer Torah. Now, any normal Jew, or person who may not be Jewish but loves Hashem, thinks of this and is immediately shaken up. To take a holy Sefer Torah, Hashem Yishmor, put it on the ground, and commit your act—this has nothing to do with desire.

10:00desire you do somewhere else where it's more comfortable. You know, it has nothing to do with desire. This is davka to go make HaKadosh Baruch Hu angry. This is davka to cause Am Yisrael to get angry, Am Yisrael to break emotionally, psychologically, spiritually, It was such a horrific act, we're still talking about it 2,000 years later. If somebody slipped on a banana 2,000 years ago, no one's going to talk about it today. In fact, if he slipped this morning, still no one was going to talk about it. But this filthy person and what he did 2,000 years ago, we're still talking about it. And when we really think about it, we start crying about it. That's what we were supposed to cry about on Tisha B'Av last week. Take a Sefer Torah, take a filthy woman, And do the act inside the Kodesh HaKodashim. What drives such a person to do such a thing other than pure evil? Now, when we think about what I just said, and what the Gemara says, maybe we're doubting what we just said. Maybe we're saying, you know what, now that I think about it, this is definitely worse than playing some video game.

11:23This is definitely worse than watching a movie. Logically, you can say what Sutton said, which is what the Gemara says, that the thoughts are worse than the act. Chazak u'baruch. That's what the Gemara actually says, and it's right, but it doesn't make sense in our head why it's right. Until you look at one of the Gedolei HaDor, Rabbi Chaim Volozhin, and only such a person that's a holy, kadosh, Like Rabbi Chaim Volozhin can say such a thing in such a way that we can understand. Rabbi Chaim Volozhin, talmid of the Gra, the Gaon MiVilna, says the following in Sefer Nefesh HaChaim, Sha'ar Alef, Perek Dalet. He says, The Maaseh Titus, the act of Titus. Although it is horrible, although it is disgusting, although you can see every description under the sun, we know, he says, he knows, we just read. We know this did not affect the Kavod of HaKadosh Baruch Hu, even an iota.

12:48In the kavod of Shamayim, however you calculate it there, HaKadosh Baruch Hu's kavod was not affected, even an iota, nothing. Because a filthy idol worshiper, a nothing, does not have such a right to affect the King of Kings. Because it's like one of the peasants going against the king, but from the back. What does it mean, from the back? It says like somebody's outside, says, I hate the king, the king is the worst, but nobody's next to him. Yeah, you're going against the king, but nobody knows. You're a loser. You're just talking to yourself. You want to go against the king? Go face to face. Tell the king, I hate you. See what happens. Test that out. It says when somebody like this, when somebody like Titus, some idol worshiper today, some filthy person out there, says something about HaKadosh Baruch Hu, "I hate Him," "He doesn't exist," all this stuff, the Kavod of Shamayim does not get affected at all. To us, it's terrible. We hear it, we're like, ugh, how does this guy talk like this? Hashem, how come You don't just kill Hitler right now? How come You don't just kill this guy?

14:13It's not hard for Hashem. Just kill him. HaKadosh Baruch Hu, silent. Nothing. No reaction whatsoever. Now, surely he'll get punished severely. We're not saying he's not going to get punished. But as far as the Kavod of Hashem in Shamayim, not affected at all. Versus the Gaon says, Rabbi Chaim Volozhin, Comparing this to a person, a Jew, that thinks in his heart a thought that is not pure, connected to immorality, Hashem yishmor. It is like he is bringing a zonah, a harlot, the logo, the symbol of the jealousy, which I'll explain in a moment, inside the Kodesh HaKodashim Elyon. The kinah, which means literally jealousy,

15:34Also, there is a thing called, but this is like the logo of the tumah of the world. You have, let's say, Coca-Cola. I say Coca-Cola to you guys; all of you think red and white. Automatically, why? Because they're a very good marketing company. You think Apple; you think of a little apple with a bite sign on it. None of you think of buying an apple in a grocery store. Why? Because probably all of you guys have iPhones and iPads. Why? Because they're a good marketing company. That's their logo. The logo for tumah is this. Similarly, kinah, and this is the source of all of the jealousy in the world because it directly goes against kedushah and... When a person thinks in his heart an inappropriate thought, he brings a harlot. He brings this inside the Kodesh. What is the Kodesh? Kodesh HaKodeshim, the upper Kodesh HaKodeshim, the heavenly Kodesh HaKodeshim. The upper Kodesh HaKodeshim is your mind, the Jewish mind.

16:51that controls the spirituality. He brings this immorality, this zonah, inside his mind. And now this rachmana litzlan, Rabbi Chaim Volozhin says, This now brings the powers of impurity and Satan himself inside the mind. He brings inside his head all of the powers of impurity and Satan himself inside the upper heavenly worlds, which is the Jewish mind. This is rachmana litzlan. This is much, much worse than the impact that happened as a result of the impurity that was caused by Titus when he brought the zonah inside the Beit HaMikdash of this world. So here we see that when a person

18:11does not treat his Jewish mind as if it's the Kodesh HaKodashim. He now allows anything to enter. Movies, video games, all types of other immoral things. Hameivin yavin. Chachamim explained to us here, literally, this is much worse than what Titus did in reality. because he only impacted the Beit HaMikdash here. When we allow ourselves to see immorality, we are impacting the highest level of Beit HaMikdash, the one that's in here. Why is this one much worse? Because this is the one that connects to HaKadosh Baruch Hu 24 hours a day, seven days a week, at all times, even when you're sleeping. And you don't have to be a Kohen Gadol. You don't have to be a tzaddik. This is the one that's at all times connected to HaKadosh Baruch Hu. Which means, to give you guys an illustration, imagine a king. And this king is a mighty king. This king is an honorary king. This king is an awesome king, but he's also a good king. We didn't have many good kings in history.

19:39But he's a good one. He feeds all the people, makes sure everybody has a home, and ensures that everyone does good things. Now, if you see one of your friends say, "You know what, this king, [expletive, expletive]." start cursing out the king, start saying all types of things to the king. You're gonna say, "Listen, guy, you're an ungrateful person. You know what? Do me a favor, go away. Go away! I don't want to talk to you. It's not nice what you're saying. This king is a good guy. He's the one that gave you food when you didn't have any money. He's the guy that gave you a house when you couldn't afford any place to pay rent even, and you're cursing him? That's not nice. Go away! I don't want to hear it, right?" Why? Because you know the king is good. Now, what would you do if this friend of yours not only did all of those things, but on top of it, he did it right in the king's face? He saw the king, he said those things and worse, and then, to finish it off, just to make sure the king doesn't think it's a joke, he spit in his face.

20:50What would you do at that point? Would you just sit there as a bystander saying, "Wow, the king's going to get him?" Or would you be the first one to tackle him in the honor of the king? What Rabbi Chaim Volozhin says is that when we allow immorality in our mind, it's even worse than the latter. Why? HaKadosh Baruch Hu is there. He's inside your mind at all times. When we allow these things, intentionally allow, not that you walked and Hashem is testing you because some immoral woman is walking around. No, you press the button and you go there. You know that this movie is a movie and that they don't make movies with ugly people who put on clothes. And you still press play. You know that this video game has some creatures in it that they're trying to give you some illustrations in your mind. But you still want to play. You know that these things are not allowed according to HaKadosh Baruch Hu. But you allow it. It's much worse than the latter. Why? HaKadosh Baruch Hu is there and you're bringing the zonah to Him and saying, "Deal with it. Yeah, I know you're here. But I like it."

22:16And I'm not taking into consideration the fact that you're the one who gave me the money, and instead of me buying tefillin, I bought this video game. I'm not taking into consideration that you're the one who gave me the money, and instead of using the money to do a mitzvah, give tzedakah, buy food, or do something useful, I actually used the money to buy this immoral movie. I'm not taking into consideration the fact that you're the one who gave me air to breathe, and instead of using that air to speak to you, I'm actually using it to curse you. I'm not taking that into consideration. Why? Just deal with it. Now, if this was your friend that did it, would you still want to be friends with him? If this was your son that did it, would you still be a proud father? The truth is, Rabotai, all of us have the same answer. The goal is to remember that answer, and remember that it's us that we're talking about, not our friend.

23:17every time we do something like this, who says, "This hurt my kavod, this hurt my kavod?" Why? "You're my son, you're my daughter, and your connection with me is in your mind at all times, and you allowed this zonah to enter while I was here." There's nothing more inappropriate than this. There's nothing worse than this. This is why, when a person understands more about HaKadosh Baruch Hu, what he's supposed to do as a result of all the great things that the King of Kings gives him, He starts realizing that just the fact that you're supposed to spend your time being grateful for all the good that He's giving you is simply not going to give you enough time to make sins.

24:19There's no time. Why? You should literally spend 24 hours a day, myself included, all of us included, spending 24 hours a day and ask for a miracle for the 25th hour just to say thank you to Hashem for all the good that He already did for us. Including the sickness, including the pain, including the loneliness, including the financial crisis, including all of the different difficulties we have, including all that, say thank you, thank you, thank you to no end. And if we don't realize that we're supposed to say thank you, then guess what? That's because there's already a zonah inside. taking over. There's already one inside, parked inside there. That's why. When you don't understand that you're supposed to spend your entire day thanking HaKadosh Baruch Hu for every single breath that He allows to go in and out of your lungs, and you don't understand why you're supposed to think of that. That's because there's already a zonah inside that you allowed. And the only way that you're ever going to get to the point of understanding how much you owe Hashem, and how much gratitude you should have for Hashem, and how happy you should be for what you already have and not what you want,

25:34That is only going to be realized once you kick her out. As long as she's in there, you're never going to understand. You're never going to understand. Why? She's taking over. One of the scariest creatures on planet Earth, that most people don't even know exists, is the wife of the Satan. She's so scary, we're not even allowed to say her name. Why? Because when you say her name, it's like you're inviting her. You're inviting her, you're inviting sins into your life. Now, one of the ways that we can talk about her is by describing her. And the Gemara calls her the Zonah Elyonah, the heavenly prostitute, the upper prostitute. That's who she is.

26:35Who is she? The wife of the Satan. Why is she so scary? Because unlike a normal wife who is in agreement with following her husband as a result of the Ketubah, as a result of Parashat Bereshit, a woman is supposed to follow her husband and not the other way around. The Satan's wife doesn't follow him. In fact, she controls him. and the Chachamim had a debate about her because there's something unusual about her. She is a Shed, she's a demon. But the Torah tells us many times different descriptions of the Shedim, and the Sefer Chassidim says that the demons, the men, have hair and the female demons do not have hair. But yet the wife of the Satan has hair.

27:45So Rashi, commenting on this, says maybe, just maybe, the wife of the Satan is really a man because she has hair. It's unusual for a female demon to have hair. So then the Mekubalim toil and toil over this, and no, it's not that she is a male. She's a female, but she's an unusual female. She's a female that controls the male. and she's the only demon that's a female that has hair. Now, different Chachamim discuss this. The Sefer Chesed LeAvraham, in Maayan 7, Nahar 22, discusses this. The point being is, When we say that a person has allowed a Zona Elyona into his mind, that is distorting his mind, it is not allowing him to see gratitude for Hashem, to see love for Hashem, to see yirat Hashem, just fear of Hashem. Simple, baby emunah, baby understanding of Hashem, just fear Him. Moshe Rabbeinu tells us in Sefer Devarim, what does Hashem ask of you? So much that He's asking of you other than just to fear Him.

29:02meaning this is the basic level, just fear Hashem. When we have trouble fearing Hashem, we have trouble loving Hashem, we have trouble believing in Hashem, that's because this Zonah Elyonah, we allowed her inside. We allowed her inside. And the only way The only way to get to Yirat Shamayim, the only way to get to Ahavat Hashem, the only way to get to all the good things, the connection to Hashem, is to kick her out. How do you kick her out? You can't just say, "Listen, eviction notice." She doesn't listen. How do you do it? You don't give her anything. You don't give her anything. You don't give her any power anymore. You add a lot of Torah to your life. You study even if you don't want to. You study even if it's hard. You study even if you're not successful in studying. You open the book, you fall asleep two seconds later. Guess what you do tomorrow? Study again. Yeah, but I fell asleep for 30 days in a row. I haven't read one page in 30 days. Okay, so day 31, try again. Until when? Until HaKadosh Baruch Hu has mercy on you and allows you to study like a decent person. You have to cry and talk about it. Say, "Listen, I don't just want to study. I showed You I want to study. Every day I open the book, 30 days straight, 60 days straight, a year straight. I look at the book, I open the book. Maximum I get five minutes, and then I take a nap. I wake up, I'm on my phone. Never tired at work, never tired reading the newspaper. Never tired."

30:15You have to cry and talk about it. Say, "Listen, I don't just want to study. I showed You I want to study. Every day I open the book, 30 days straight, 60 days straight, a year straight. I look at the book, I open the book. Maximum I get five minutes, and then I take a nap. I wake up, I'm on my phone. Never tired at work, never tired reading the newspaper. Never tired." sins never tire. Torah, I'm tired all the time. Please, Hashem, just have some mercy on me. Let me learn some Torah. Why? It's the only way I can kick her out. It's the only way. You have to have mercy from Hashem. Now, how do you get this mercy from Hashem? You have to show Him that you deserve it by not putting yourself in harm's way. not electing to watch movies, not electing to watch television, not electing to go to parties, not electing to play video games, not electing to put yourself in harm's way, and opening the door for the zonah elyonah. If she's already in there because you didn't know, that's one thing.

31:35But to continue opening the door for her, and sometimes even double doors with a hug together, that's not going to bring you any mercy in your life. You're going to have a very, very hard time connecting to Avinu Shebashamayim in a real way. Why? She's going to ruin everything. So to connect to Hashem the way we've always talked about, requires mesirut nefesh, requires self-sacrifice. That means that if there's a halacha and you don't understand it, guess what? You do it. Why do you do it? Because God said so. Yeah, but I'm not sure if God really said this. Some rabbi said it. Yeah, that rabbi said it in the name of God. How do you know? Because he's a rabbi that you still talk about from 800 years ago. We're not going to talk about you in 800 years, I promise you. Unless you become this type of rabbi. How many people that lived 800 years ago do you still talk about? Among the goyim, almost zero. Almost zero. Unless they caused enough damage to the world, it's memorable. Among the Jews, also very little, percentage-wise. But nonetheless, if you're mentioned 800 years after you died, it's a big deal.

32:55And if what you said became the law 800 years ago and we still comply with it, you don't need to understand why this is the law. Obviously, many greater Talmidei Chachamim than we could ever be have already delved into this sugya, into this complication for the last 800 years, and had the same exact questions you do and had the same difficulties you do and still arrived at the same conclusion that he's right. And that's why it's the law 800 years later. Needless to say, if it was 1500 years ago or 1600 years ago or 3000 years ago. So Mesirut Nefesh is not just not watching the movies. Mesirut Nefesh is complying with the Torah completely, even if you don't understand, don't like, and in fact, hate it. That's Mesirut Nefesh. Why? Because, Rabotai, HaKadosh Baruch Hu does not want to be in a place where there is ga'avah, there's pride. The Gemara says, HaKadosh Baruch Hu, when He sees ga'avah, He runs away. He says, this pride is an indication that they think that they are immortal. They think that they're eternal. They think that they're God. There cannot be two gods. So if he thinks he's God, I can't be there. Because there can't be two gods.

34:20Let him be God by himself. When a person does not want to listen to Da'at Torah, that means he thinks he's God. HaKadosh Baruch Hu says, I don't want anything to do with him. Let him be God by himself. Let her be God by herself. I don't want it. Why? Because there can only be one God. That's the rule in the world. He wants to make himself God, she wants to make herself God, okay, let him be by himself. When we don't want to listen to Da'at Torah, Rabotai, Because we don't understand it, because we don't like it, because of this, because of that, and all of these different excuses, HaKadosh Baruch Hu says, okay, you know what? When you finish being God, let me know, I'll come back. When you finish, I'll be back. Why? Because as long as you have so much pride that you're saying that you need to understand everything, agree with everything, approve everything, before you do it, that means it's like you wrote the Torah. Hashem says, "But I wrote the Torah. I did it." No, no, but what about the rabbis that added it? Who said the rabbis are not allowed to add it? Who said the rabbis are not allowed to add it? As a result of toiling in the Torah, HaKadosh Baruch Hu made a law in the Torah: the rabbis, the sages of the generation, are allowed to add takanot. Whether it's the takana, the added halacha of, let's say, the muktze on Shabbat, that's not halacha from the Torah.

35:49But it's halakha from the rabbis. And HaKadosh Baruch Hu says violating a mitzvah of muktze is the same thing as violating lighting a fire. Why? The rabbis made the rule, that's it. They're my representatives. If the king sends a representative to his friend, to his enemy, to somebody else, and that somebody else looks at the message, thinks of the message, hears the message being read out loud, and then he says, you know what, come closer a little bit, come closer, and then he takes his sword and chops his head off. Word gets to the king, they send the head in a little basket with some fruits next to it. What does the king think of this friend or enemy or whoever it was that sent him his servant’s head? What does he think of him? automatically he thinks of him as an enemy. Why? You chopped off his head; that means that you're telling me that if it was me there, you would chop off my head, because that representative might as well be me. When you go against the rabbis, the tzadikim, that passed the halakha, that became a kabbalah according to Am Yisrael,

37:13are chopping off the head of the messenger of HaKadosh Baruch Hu, you might as well say you're going against Hashem outright, and this is why In order for us to remove this zonah el yonah from our mind, we have to accept the Torah completely. Tamim tiheyeh im Hashem, complete with Hashem. Understand, don't understand. Like, don't like. Agree, disagree. Makes sense, doesn't make sense. Why? Whoever made and paskened this halacha 500 years ago, 800 years ago, 1500 years ago, whenever it was, trust me when I tell you, for sure, they were a messenger of HaKadosh Baruch Hu. There's no doubt about it. So don't wait until you understand all of the mechanics of how the antibiotic works before you take it, because that may simply be too late. You'll have to go to med school, you'll have to learn some chemistry, you'll have to learn a lot of different things, and even then there's no certainty that you're actually going to know how this antibiotic works. But the infection's already there. When it comes to Torah, Rabotai,

38:24We simply do. We simply do, then we listen. Why? Because to learn who, what, when, and how is a lifetime of work. That's why the mesorah, the connection that we have between us all the way to Moshe Rabbeinu is critical. Because if I know that the Shulchan Aruch said it, I know it comes from Moshe Rabbeinu. If I know that this comes from the Rambam, that's Moshe Rabbeinu. If I know one of the Gedolim of this generation said it in the name of the Shulchan Aruch, in the name of the Rambam, in the name of the Gemara, all the way to Moshe Rabbeinu, I know I don't need to ask any questions. You're allowed to ask questions. And it's good to even ask questions. But that answer should not dictate whether you will follow or not follow. That question is simply for the sake of understanding to the best of your ability at your level. surely you do understand that if I explain the mechanics of an engine to a bunch of regular people, they'll understand a little bit. But if I explain the mechanics of an engine to a team of engineers, surely they'll understand a lot more. Why? They are learned in this particular field.

39:42So, if you see a halacha, and you don't really understand why the Rambam paskens this way, why the Shulchan Aruch paskens this way, why Rav Moshe Feinstein and Rabbi Shalom pasken this way, and why Rav Ovadia paskens this way, you don't really understand the whole thing. You understand the concept, maybe, yes, a little, no. Guess what? You still got to do it. No, but if I were Rav Moshe Feinstein, it would be much easier for me to do it. No, it wouldn't. It wouldn't. Why? Because if you were Rav Moshe Feinstein, you would have to delve into this a lot deeper. Why? Because you're higher than the engineer at this point. At your level, you just need to do it. Yeah, but that makes me a robot. I'll buy you. Be a robot, a robot inside Gan Eden. Better to be a robot inside Gan Eden than a rasha in Gehinnom. Now, sure, you have to ask questions. Don't tire twice about questions. But that question and that answer are not something that you're supposed to utilize in order to decide whether to follow or not. It's just for the sake of learning. Now, when a person has difficulty accepting everything I just said, that's because inside their mind, there's a zonah sitting, parking, having a good time, taking control of the whole party.

41:04Now, unfortunately, Rabotai, many of us wasted a lot of our life allowing her in, without even knowing that's what's happening. Without even knowing it's so bad. Which means that, even more so than ever, we need to learn more Mussar, we need to learn more Torah, we need to learn more Halakha, we need to learn more and more and more, in addition to not allowing her in again. Why? Because the more we learn, the less we let her in, the easier the two start making sense. the easier the two start making sense. This is why you sometimes see people that know a lot of Torah, they know a lot of different books, they've read a lot of books, you go to their houses and they have a library, but they still do ma'asei S'dom, they still act like they're in S'dom and 'Amora. Why? Because learning by itself is not enough. Learning by itself is not enough. It has to be connected to action too.

42:04The action means not allowing her in. The action means you have to work on your character traits. The action means you have to correct your middot. So it's not just learning. It's not just who can read the fastest and who can read the most. It's also the actions that correspond with the learning. When you combine the two, you could little by little become a tzaddik or a tzaddeket. But if you're going to always wait to understand everything and agree with everything, we're going to be sitting in park for a very, very long time. So hopefully this gives you guys some food for thought and some questions. Who wants to start with questions? Yes, Uyen. Rabbi, when you speak about answering the question, "How are you?" with "Baruch Hashem," The only way to answer a question when somebody asks you, "How are you?" is "Baruch Hashem." Even if things are good or things are bad, because in essence, the Gemara in Masechet Berachot says that a person is obligated, and this is paskened in the Halacha in Shulchan Aruch, a person is obligated to thank Hashem and bless Hashem for the good and the bad.

43:23So, when someone asks you, "How are you?" in essence, that's what they're trying to figure out if they actually care about the answer. Because sometimes people ask you, "How are you?" but they walk away before your answer because they're just trying to be cordial. It's really more for them than it is for you. I'm talking about, you know, decent human beings who ask you, "How are you?" You're supposed to say, "Baruch Hashem," because, in essence, whether it's good or bad, it's always supposed to be "Baruch Hashem." So that's the best possible answer that you can give, which is "Baruch Hashem." "Baruch Hashem." That's the answer. Grammatically correct. Because you can't be, thank God. You can be well, thanks to God. The same thing. Baruch Hashem is thanking Hashem. What does Baruch Hashem mean? That's the question. Baruch Hashem, when I first heard it, when I started learning, I asked the Rabbi, how come you say Baruch Hashem? How can you bless Hashem? He can bless you. How can you bless Hashem? Who are you? Now the answer is actually, the Gemara in Masechet Berachot says that HaKadosh Baruch Hu sent a malach that, in essence, represents HaKadosh Baruch Hu, who came into the Kodesh HaKodashim and went to Yehoshua Kohen Gadol and asked him for a bracha.

44:51HaKadosh Baruch Hu asked him for a berachah. That's how holy he was. This is a very difficult Gemara to understand. What does it mean? HaKadosh Baruch Hu is asking a human being, flesh and blood, who puts his pants on one leg at a time, for a berachah. What does the Gemara say? You read that Gemara, you're confused, that makes you normal. You understand it, you're not normal. Point is, that's what it says. And then it gives you the details. Very strange. But nonetheless, a person can get, that's what it's teaching us, a person can get to such a high stage that HaKadosh Baruch Hu says your berachah is worth something. Not that HaKadosh Baruch Hu needs your berachah, but your berachah is worth something. So now, Technically, a person can't get to such a high level. If it existed in the past, that means it can exist. But when we say Baruch Hashem, we're not blessing Hashem, if you will, even though that's what it translates to. But rather, we are in essence testifying that everything that existed in the past, everything that exists today, and everything that will ever exist in the future, is due to Hashem.

46:03Blessed is Hashem, Baruch is Hashem. Baruch comes from the word Bara. Bara means created. HaKadosh Baruch Hu created everything. So I'm saying, when you say, oh, do you have money? I say Baruch Hashem, meaning Hashem created this money. I have this money due to Hashem. Say, you're getting married? Yeah, Baruch Hashem. What does it mean? Hashem made this marriage happen. Hashem made this car happen. Hashem made this job happen. Hashem made this accident happen. Hashem made this good thing happen. Hashem made this bad thing happen. That's, in essence, when we're saying Baruch Hashem, that's what we're saying. It's not the grammar that translates to in English, but rather you have to look at the root of the word in Hebrew. in essence you are testifying that everything is due to Hashem. The good, the bad, the ugly, the pretty, everything is due to Hashem. That's in essence what you're saying. The same concept goes with the word Amen. Amen is an acronym for El Melech Ne'eman. El meaning God, Melech meaning the King, and Ne'eman meaning reliable. Meaning that when you say Amen,

47:08That means that you're saying that God, the King, is reliable; therefore, everything that He says will happen. If He said that good will happen, it will happen. If He said bad will happen, it will happen. If He said there will be reward, there will be reward. If He said the Mashiach will come, the Mashiach will come. If He said there's going to be a war, there will be a war. If He said there's going to be peace, there's going to be peace. So in essence, when we say "Amen," we're saying that whatever Hashem said, that's what will be. Not what I say. Not, oh, hopefully this works out. What hopefully? Hopefully to who? Hopefully to whom? Amen. What do you mean, "Amen?" If Hashem wants it to happen, that's what's going to happen. Whatever Hashem wants to happen, that's what's going to happen. That's what "Amen" is. "Baruch Hashem" means that everything is due to Hashem. And "Be'ezrat Hashem," "Be'ezrat Hashem" means simply that Hashem will help us. Hashem will help us, have mercy on us, to bring us to an understanding of all the things that He does, or at least,

48:15to a complete acceptance of everything that it does in a good way. So all of these different things that we say, it's not just a figure of speech, but rather they have a very deep meaning, and there are entire books, entire Sifrei Kodesh written about just these single words. These single words. Next. Chabad, Joshua. Right, so the Midrash says in Parashat Yitro

49:15that one must be very, very careful in saying Hashem's name, because one of the Ten Commandments is to not say Hashem's name in vain. And some of the Poskim actually say it's not just the Name that you know that you're not supposed to say, other than in blessings or in verses in a Torah, the one that's Adonai. It's not just that. Some of the Poskim say even the word in English, or other languages and how they describe Hashem. "Hashem" you can say a million times a day. And the reason why you can say "Hashem" a million times a day is because "Hashem" is not His name. "Hashem" literally means "the Name." "Ha" is "the." "Shem" is "name." "The Name." We say "Hashem" because His actual name is so holy we're not allowed to say it. But the word G-O-D or Ado-nai or the other ones that I use, we're not allowed to just say it freely. We're not allowed to just say it that way. Why? This is actually saying Hashem's name, and we don't use it that way. You have to do it if it's in a verse, if it's in a blessing, or if it's in an appropriate context. Like what you did is fine because it's an appropriate context. We're talking about Hashem right now. We're learning. But to just say it casually, like "Oh, you know, thank God," is not appropriate.

50:35You shouldn't just say it this way. Why? Because, again, it's using Hashem's name as if you're saying, chas v'shalom, like some regular person's name, like a Stephen or a Joe. It's a mistake. It's taking Hashem's name in vain. Even, by the way, there is a teaching that talks about "amen yetoma." "Amen yetoma" is an orphaned amen, meaning that you're not allowed to say amen for no reason. Why? Because, like I just explained moments ago, amen is testifying to the reliability of Hashem. So sometimes people make the mistake where you make a blessing... And they say amen many times. Amen, amen, amen, amen. They're like a DJ. They go back over and over again. They want to make sure that you understand. They mean it when they say amen. Mistake. Mistake. Why? Chachamim discussed this. Scary a little bit. Chachamim discuss and they say, those amens will come to that person and testify against them. I don't have a father. I don't have a father. What do you mean you don't have a father? I said you. No, no, you're not my father. The blessing was my father.

51:44But it was already taken. The guy said a blessing; you say one amen. You said amen, amen, amen, amen a million times. Where am I going? To whom? Who am I going to? There can't be two amens for one blessing. One amen. So now I have nothing to do. And they're going to testify against him before Hashem. That's how careful a person needs to be with their words. So also, make sure to say the whole word. Because many times people are lazy, And they say amen. So he says amen, amen, amen, amen, amen. That means nothing. And Shammai would say, oh, he doesn't even say amen to this guy. Hashem. Well, no, he said, no, amen, amen. That's what sheep do. Sheep go, meh, meh, meh. We'll come back as a gilgul, maybe as a sheep. You'll be really good at it. You already had practice as a human. You have to say the whole word, amen. Now, what about when a little kid, little kid, says a blessing. A five-year-old, a three-year-old says a blessing. You hear my kids say a blessing, you want to start crying. What a gift! You see a little three-year-old say a blessing, and he screams it. I wish I could do blessings like that.

52:59Every blessing. But we already did hamotzi. Yeah, we'll do it again. He's three years old. What are you going to do? But he says the blessing. He says the blessing. It's music to Hashem though. But what about you? To Hashem, it's music. But what about you? Are you allowed to say amen to this three-year-old's blessing? Why sure? Why sure? Quick answer: You can't answer questions like that. Come on, Ari, you haven't been with us for a little while. You know you can't just give me some answers. Okay, I like it, but it's... Okay, so we have a machloket between Sam and Ari. The answer is, Satan won. But why did Satan win? Because the three-year-old is not obligated in mitzvot, and therefore you cannot say amen to his blessing, but you're also not allowed to not say anything either. Why are you not allowed to stay quiet? Because if he says a blessing or she says a blessing and you don't answer, they're going to get offended.

53:59Now, if you want to know what Hashem is going to do to you if you offend little babies, it doesn't look so good. So what do you do? In that case, you say "amen." In that case, "amen." Make believe like you said "amen." In that case. Why? Because you're not saying "amen." But you have to say something so he thinks you're saying "amen" to him. So you know, so my blessing is worth something, Abba. My blessing is worth something. Okay, I'll do another blessing. But we did HaMotzi already, three times. The kid does a blessing, and then after, the others follow. It's one after another. It's like a yeshiva over here. It's a yeshiva. But that's the thing. You have to say something. You can't say nothing. Why? You have to encourage them to keep going. You don't say anything like, "Oh, so blessings are not important. Okay, so I won't do blessings anymore. I won't do blessings anymore. Next time I'll play with my little fire truck." What do you want to do, kid? Do blessings or play with fire trucks? I want to do blessings. You have to say something. You have to be involved, but you can't say the entire word "amen" because, again, they're not obligated. That's the halacha.

55:02so but again, you have to be very, very careful. You can't tell them this, obviously. You can't tell them, "Oh by the way, son, I can't really say amen." Don't do that. That makes you a foolish father. Don't do that. You have to pretend and go along like his blessing is just as good as yours. His blessing is just as good to you. Even though, let's say, you're praying and you say, "Do you want to come pray with me?" and you know he starts praying with you, or your little girl starts praying with you, and they're not saying anything; they're just making up words. You know what you say to them? Best. Why? Most likely their prayer is better than yours, without any word making any single sense. These are little babies that never sinned. And that's the Gemara. Abaye has an argument with one of the sages. He says, how come their prayer is better? Because, well, we don't learn Torah. We don't do mitzvot. He says, yeah, but you made some sins. made some sense. These babies never sinned in their life, so an eight-year-old never sinned in his life, never sinned in his life. So, they are pure. Like Rabbi Arieh said, pure. So, you have to be very, very supportive and encourage the kids to do blessings, to do mitzvot. You have to encourage them. It even says that one of the best ways to get your kids to learn Torah is to bribe them, give them money, give them candy, give them stuff.

56:23But then he said, wait, aren't they going to become spoiled? Spoiled Talmidei Chachamim is perfect. No problem. Let them be spoiled and eventually they'll become Talmidei Chachamim. There's actually a story in the Gemara. One kid didn't want to learn Torah. So one of the Chachamim said, you know what? If you come learn Torah with me, after a few years, I'll give you three buckets of gold. Three buckets of gold. He goes, "No, no, I want to go to Wall Street." "No, no, you'll make more money on Wall Street with me. Come learn Torah. Come learn some Gemara, some Mishnah, some this, some that. In a few years, once you get married and everything, I'll give you three buckets. Three buckets. That's how you used to measure. Not with money like today, $100, $200, you used to measure things by buckets. I'll give you three buckets of gold." So the kid says, "Okay, fine, no problem." Okay, so he starts learning, learning, learning. The kid is a Kishroni. He has talent and he's learning. Now, of course, the kid has talent. What happens? The Satan shows up. He says, you're ruining my business. This kid was a good employee. You're ruining everything. So he comes into the kid's head and he says, listen, kid, this rabbi has two dollars to his name. How is he going to come up with three buckets of gold? Look at this guy. He doesn't have a car. He doesn't have anything. How is he going to give you? He doesn't have money to eat. He's going to give you three buckets of gold? How is he going to give you three buckets of gold? So the kid has this thought in his head after he's been learning already for a few years and says, you're right, Rabbi.

57:44...know, you said after I, you know, finish and everything and I get married, you're going to give me the buckets of gold. And I trust you, I trust you, Rabbi, but can I see a source? I trust you, Rabbi, can I see it anyway? Can I see the buckets? I trust you, no, I trust you, but can I see it anyway? Okay, okay, I'll get back to you. I'll get back to you, don't worry, we'll get a few. No, no, but I want to see it though. All of a sudden, he doesn't really want to learn, because he's thinking, maybe Satan is right. Maybe Satan is right. Maybe he doesn't have the money. Maybe he's just fooling me. And by the time I realize, I'm already his slave. Maybe it's a whole scam. Maybe this, maybe that. So the rabbi went home, and he's upset. Why? The rebbetzin says to him, Rabbi, why are you upset? Why are you upset? He says, the kid's asking for the gold. The kid's asking for the gold. That's why I'm upset. The rebbetzin was ba'alat emunah. She says, Rabbi... This is what you learn in Torah? Who's the one that gave you Torah, Rabbi? HaKadosh Baruch Hu gave you Torah. So HaKadosh Baruch Hu, when it's time to give you the bucket of gold, He's going to give it to you. A little word of chizuk, all of a sudden the Rabbi's in a good mood. Automatically. She said, the rebbetzin said something, the Rabbi's in a good mood. That's why it says, a woman builds, a woman destroys. As he has the emunah on the spot...

59:00Somebody knocks on the door. Knocks on the door in the middle of the night. Oh, usually it's the police. He opens the door. "Rabbi, Rabbi, I need help. I need help." "Who are you?" "I'm this one, that one." "Okay, I've never seen you before." "Yeah, yeah, I only come on Shabbat." "Okay, what do you want?" "Listen, Rabbi, I'm 78." all my life I chased money. I don't have any Torah, Rabbi. I just heard from a shiur that you did the other day that without Torah there's no Olam HaBa, there's no nothing. Rabbi, here, I brought you—he takes out from the outside—here, Rabbi, three buckets of gold. Buy me some Torah. The Rabbi starts to laugh. He goes, no way. I'll get you something, don't worry. I'll get you some stuff. So the next day, he says, hey kid, come, come, come out of the corner. Come on, I'm gonna show you something in my office. The kid comes in. The room is lit up. It's a light from the gold. The whole room is lit up like the sun is inside. He sees the gold. Now he has all the kavanah in the world. Now he's studying out loud. He's standing up. He's excited because he saw the gold. Do you think that's the end of the story? We're only halfway.

1:00:08Then, Rabotai, a little bit of time passes by. The kid is learning, the kid is learning, and he gets to the Rabbi, and he starts getting to the Rabbi. He says, "Rabbi, Rabbi, I made a mistake." And he starts crying hysterically. He says, "Rabbi, Rabbi, I made a mistake." "What mistake?" He says, "Rabbi, I just got to the Gemara that says that..." A single word of Torah is worth more than all the money in the world from the beginning of time to the end of time. And I just sold half my Torah for three buckets of gold. Give it back to him. Please, Rabbi, I don't want it. He says, "Okay, son, I don't know if he's going to take it back. You made a deal." "Please, Rabbi," he starts crying. The rabbi says, "Okay." He brings the old man and says, "Listen, he doesn't want it." So the kid takes the bucket, throws it to the guy and says, "Take your money. I want my Torah back." The rich guy says, "Take the money. We made a deal. I bought it. It's mine." They start fighting, throwing the bucket back and forth, arguing. The rabbi is laughing, and HaKadosh Baruch Hu is dancing.

1:01:09And the rabbi says, "Okay, guys, don't worry. I got it. I'll take the money. Don't worry. You got your Torah. You got your money. Don't worry. I got it. We'll give this money to some people that really need it. And you'll have 100% of the Torah and you'll have 100% of the suit." Now, how did it start? Bribing the kid. Bribing the kid. This is one of the greatest ways to get a kid to learn Torah. A woman asked me recently, My kid wants to get money, but I'm scared to give him money. At the same time, she says, he doesn't want to learn Torah. What should I do? I said, perfect solution. Give him money to go buy candy after he learns Torah. Yeah, but then his teeth are going to go bad. He'll be a Talmid Chacham without teeth. He'll be a Tzaddik without teeth. Not the first one. Or maybe you prefer a Rasha with a full set of teeth. Which one do you want? The point is, Rabotai, that you have to do whatever you can to get your kids to like Torah. You've got to get, and the same thing with ladies, you have to make sure your husband learns Torah. You've got to be creative. You've got to make sure that your husband knows Torah is everything. Why? You want a good husband, he has to learn Torah. Next question. Good.

1:02:36Or maybe you prefer a Rasha with a full set of teeth. Which one do you want? The point is, Rabotai, that you have to do whatever you can to get your kids to like Torah. You've got to be creative. You've got to make sure that your husband knows Torah is everything. Why? You want a good husband, he has to learn Torah. Next question. Good. No, if you're talking about other gods, there's no problem. You know there's even a Torah it talks about, it says the word Elohim about Hashem, but Elohim in regards to false gods, meaning that you're not allowed to use the Hey when you're referring to Hashem unless it's in a verse or it's in a blessing. But if you're talking about fake gods, you're allowed to use Elohim. Elohim on a fake god is not a problem. 'God' on the fake god is not a problem. no, if you're talking about other gods, there's no problem. You know there's even a Torah it talks about, it says the word Elohim about Hashem, but Elohim in regards to false gods, meaning that you're not allowed to use the Hei when you're referring to Hashem unless it's in a verse or it's in a blessing. But if you're talking about fake gods, you're allowed to use Elohim. Elohim on a fake god is not a problem. 'God' on the fake god is not a problem. We're only talking about using "God" for the real Hashem, the real Hashem. And that's where a person needs to be careful. But again, it doesn't mean that a person should start going crazy. He said the word, he said the name of Hashem, and he starts taking a whip and whipping himself. Don't go crazy. We don't have to be overly righteous. Sometimes people take things a little bit too far, worrying about small things but neglecting the big things.

1:03:47you know, first we have to be experts in overcoming the big obstacles: Shabbat, modesty, morality, good ethics, things of that nature. The big stuff. Big stuff. Be an expert in those things. Once you're really good in those things—Torah, every day, all that stuff—you're good? Okay, then you start traveling to the other things, to the other things, to the other things. Little by little, you perfect the other things. Sometimes people send me questions, and I don't want to answer them. It's not that there's no answer, and it's not that I don't know the answer. It's not that I know all the answers, but it happens to be that I know those answers. Why sometimes I don't answer them? Because I know that, in reality, this is not a question he should be asking. Why? He's not at this level. He's not at this level to be asking this question. Why? He's still wasting seed. He's asking me some question about some Kabbalistic takana that, "Rabbi, should I replace my siddur because my friend, who is a Mechalel Shabbat, used it once? Should I replace my siddur because you said in a story that the Baal Shem Tov said that if a Rasha looked at your siddur, it's like you're looking at the Pnei Rasha?" Yeah, the Baal Shem Tov. When you're the Baal Shem Tov, you replace the siddur. But as long as you're a Mechalel Shabbat, the siddur is not going to help you anyway.

1:05:08The stories we say are to give you chizuk, to aspire, to be a tzaddik, to know who you're connected to, not to start thinking for a second that we're tzaddikim overnight. It's down? It's up? Oh, it's up. Make it up. Bring it up. So, you know, sometimes people ask these questions. I'm going to fix it. I think we talked about his wife too much. He kicked us out. How long has it been off? Just now or for a while?

1:06:29Thanks. Give me some time to drink. Not working? It's good? Okay, good. Yeah, who has the next question? Go ahead. Okay.

1:07:37as 40 minus 1. The commentary says that it's phrased like this because the melacha of transferring includes two labors, and so includes a phrase that refers both to 39 and 40. So what are these two prohibited labors included in the 39th prohibition of transferring? What are they? What are the two prohibited labors that are included within the 39th prohibited labor of transferring? Oh, there's a machloket among the Chachamim regarding the 39 melachot. You'll see that certain Chachamim interpret them one way, and other Chachamim interpret them another way. But in essence, as far as the 40 minus 1, it was a din of the Chachamim to bring even more mercy on Am Yisrael, to not make it 40. In essence, what they're trying to do is to bring more mercy on Am Yisrael and not hit them with the full 40, even though 40 is the actual number. It's a righteous Beit Din. always looked to find a way to bring mercy to people and always looked for a way to make sure that they reviewed all of the facts that could prove the person

1:08:43Innocent rather than the law of the land here where they look for you to be guilty. You're guilty until proven innocent. You know, so much so that the Gemara says that any Beit Din that killed more than one person in 70 years was considered a wicked Beit Din, Akhzari. Why? It means that you didn't look at the facts. Surely there's enough ways to find this person innocent. Yeah, but he's a Mechalel Shabbat. Okay, maybe you're saying he's a Mechalel Shabbat, but maybe there weren't really two witnesses. But then you can't even try him. There's no trying him in Judaism without two witnesses. Or maybe one of the witnesses is really a goy who dresses like a Jew. Or maybe he didn't know that this is Chilul Shabbat. Or maybe he knew it's Chilul Shabbat, but he didn't know the consequences. Like, he knows it's not allowed, but he didn't know the consequences. meaning that by the time the guy is proven guilty, it's a guy that's simply saying, listen, I know it's Chilul Shabbat, I'm going to do it anyway, I know I'm going to go to Gehinom, I know you're going to kill me anyway, I'm going to do it anyway. Meaning the guy has to be a crazy person. Which means, by the way, that actually existed. Tzelafchad. Tzelafchad, in the Torah, the witnesses came, they told him, they warned him, and he still did it, and they killed him.

1:10:07It says that he did it for Shem Shamayim. That's the machloket between Rabbi Yehuda and Rabbi Akiva. Rabbi Akiva says he did it for Shem Shamayim and he has a share in the World to Come. Rabbi Yehuda says he doesn't. The point being is that by the time the guy's proven guilty, it's not an easy thing. It's not an easy thing. But nonetheless, for many, many years, the Beit Din would hit people and kill people when they were proven guilty. Not because they were looking to kill people, not because they wanted to kill people, but because by the time they got to that point, there was simply no way to free him. No way to free him. But again, remember, when a person sins accidentally, it's not a death penalty. It's not a death penalty. It's only if a person sins intentionally. Like if you sin, if you, you know, drove on Shabbat, but that's because you forgot it was Shabbat, it's a sin. But it's not a death penalty. you forgot it's Shabbat. It's only a death penalty if you knew it's Shabbat, and you know it's not allowed, but you still said, listen, the shul is too far from my house. I'm going to drive. That's a death penalty. That's a death penalty.

1:11:12what about today, then? We don't have a Sanhedrin for over 2,000 years. The Gemara already has a psak. What's the psak? Although the Beit Din of the Sanhedrin can no longer bring the death penalty in the world today because there is no Sanhedrin, the death penalties, the punishments of the Torah, are still very much applicable today. By who? By HaKadosh Baruch Hu Himself. When you see somebody get hit by a car, that's a death penalty; that's sekila. You see somebody fall, an airplane crash—that's sekila. That's a death penalty; it's like stoning. Somebody gets hit by a car, somebody gets into an accident, falls off a building, something falls on their head, a bull runs them over—whatever it is, these are all the equivalent of sekila. Somebody drowns, that's also a form of the death penalty. It's not the first one, it's not the worst kind, but it's nonetheless a death penalty. When you hear that people die, they're not dying because of the accident. No one dies because of the accident. That's kefirah, to believe he died from the accident. He died because Hashem killed him. Why? That's Hashem's business.

1:12:33That's Hashem's business. Hashem's business is that He decides who lives and who dies. But the key is to know that every single person lives or dies only in the hands of Hashem. Only Hashem decides yes or no, whether we live or die, every single day. This is why when a person doesn't see his friend for over a year, which means that a Rosh Hashanah has passed, he hasn't seen his friend, but he knows that his friend went on vacation, he knows his friend went to Australia to study abroad, he went to Israel, so he knows he's okay. He knows he's actually even having a good time, but he didn't see him with his own eyes. When he sees him after a year, what does he do? He doesn't just greet him; he says, "Mechayei HaMeitim" (Who resurrects the dead). he hasn't seen his friend, but he knows that his friend went on vacation. He knows his friend went to Australia to study abroad; he went to Israel, so he knows he's okay. He knows he's actually even having a good time, but he didn't see him with his own eyes. When he sees him after a year, what does he do? He doesn't just greet him; he says, "Mechayei HaMeitim" (Who resurrects the dead). why this person technically should have died, or a year or a year passed, and he's still alive. That means judged all of your actions, all of your good, all of your bad, you're still alive. That's a miracle. It's a miracle. Yeah, but you know I went to Australia, right? Yeah, yeah, you went wherever you wanted. The miracle is you survived. Why? Because HaKadosh Baruch Hu is the one who decides whether a person lives or dies.

1:14:03It's hard for people to accept that because people, you know, say, "No, no, he died from corona." He didn't die from corona. "No, no, but he died, really. No, I saw him. He died from corona." He didn't die from corona. He died. Hashem used corona, or used a car, or used a plane, or used whatever He used. This is the tool that Hashem uses. The outcome is the same, and the hands that controlled it are the same. it's very, very important for us to know such a thing because this is one of the she'elot, one of the questions that creates a lot of doubt in people's heads when they have lost somebody that's very dear to them. If they don't have a good understanding of who's running the world and who did it, it's very easy for a person to become a heretic as a result. Many people justify their heresy because they lost somebody in the Holocaust. Where was God during the Holocaust is the famous question. It's one of the easiest answers in the world. You're supposed to learn it in first grade. The answer is God did it. What do you mean where He was? Where was He? He's the one that did it. He said He's going to do it if we do X, Y, Z. We did X, Y, Z. He reacted. What's the problem? Well, it's not the first time Hashem brought a holocaust to Am Yisrael. It's just the most recent. It's the one that we have films on.

1:15:21But there have been many holocausts before that were even worse than the Holocaust. It doesn't mean that we like it, it doesn't mean that we want it. But the reality is that it's not the first one. And who did all of them? Hashem. Hashem is the one that did all of them. Oh, what is He? An evil God? Chas v'Shalom. If you said that at the time of Moshe Rabbeinu, they'd kill you. Calling Hashem evil. No, of course He's not evil. But He has a world to run. He has a world to run and this world has rules. This world has rules. When we comply with the rules, there's a certain reaction. When we deny those rules, reject those rules, go against those rules, there's also a reaction. If you put your hand into a fire, what's going to happen to your hand? It's going to burn, right? Does that mean that the fire hates you? No. i mean, the fire has been looking for you the whole time, just can't wait until you put your hand in it. No, but it still burns you. Why did it still burn you? Because that's what a fire does. Who asked you to put your hand in there? Who told you to put your hand in there? There are rules: fire—don't put your hand in it. You put your hand in it, you got burned. It's your fault, it's not the fire's fault.

1:16:42You go against Hashem, Hashem told you, yeah, I wrote you a whole book, yeah, it's a whole book, there are rules in it, and there are thousands and thousands and thousands upon thousands of explanations expounding this book. In every language. You didn't want to read any of them, and you ended up violating this book. Okay, so why are you blaming Hashem? Why are you blaming Hashem? He told you to follow the book, you didn't want to follow the book. You didn't even want to read it. Okay, so you failed. You failed, you got burned. That's what a fire does. How do they do it? Yeah, so even somebody that commits suicide, even so, because somebody commits suicide only dies if Hashem decides they're going to die. Meaning that a person can jump off of a bridge that has a 100 or 99.9% death rate.

1:17:43if Hashem doesn't want him to die, then he won't die. There's a guy, actually, that made a video a couple of years ago that he jumped off of the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco, which he did because he was suicidal, not because he was adventurous. He had some mental issues, and he jumped off of the bridge. As soon as his feet left the bridge, he regretted jumping, but it was already too late. And he survived, nearly unharmed at all. And when the boat came and saved him, they told him, "You are the first or the second person in history to ever survive jumping from this bridge. It doesn't make any sense that you're alive. It doesn't make any sense that you're even talking." He built a whole career off of it. Which means that he decided to commit suicide doesn't mean that Hashem is going to agree with him. Other people decide to take some drugs. I know one person that intentionally took 30, 40, 50 pills, however many pills it was, that pretty much every normal person would take two or three of these things and he would die. He took like 30 or 40 of them intentionally trying to die. He woke up the next day like a baby. Nothing happened to him.

1:18:59And many, many other things. Meaning that a person can try whatever he wants to try. It doesn't necessarily mean that Hashem is going to allow them to die. But even if He does allow them to die, they're still charged as a murderer. They're charged as a murderer of themselves because your life is not yours. If you took, you shot yourself, you did this yourself, you did that yourself, you did all these crazy different things because you lost hope, that's because you had no belief in Hashem, and you took life into your own hands, and you'll be charged as a murderer. And it's a very, very harsh treatment on murderers of themselves. One of the main things that a person needs to know is that someone that commits suicide, you're not allowed to sit shiva on him. Not allowed to sit shiva on him, you can't bury him in a Jewish cemetery. Why? It's a murderer. Can't bury a rasha next to a tzaddik. Not allowed. They may still do it, but nonetheless, that's the rule. That's the rule. Not allowed to sit shiva on him. So, a person that murders is a rasha. He could have been a nice guy, but if he killed himself, he's a rasha. No, but he had mental issues. You have to understand. Hashem runs the world in such a way that He does not want you to kill yourself.

1:20:17Now, what about people that kill somebody else? Abortions. Abortion is considered murder. Not murder of yourself, but murder of somebody else. A woman that is two, three, four months pregnant, and she decides that she doesn't want this human being to exist because she doesn't see it. So she doesn't think it's a human being. She thinks it's a steak. She thinks it's a steak. She doesn't think it's a human being because the doctor didn't show her the real pictures. He showed her a picture of a steak and told her it's nothing. He said it's just goo. It's just goo. It's not a person. Even though anyone that actually looked at what these abortions look like, they're 100% human beings with hands, arms, heads—everything, just smaller. Now, a woman that has an abortion, she is decreed as 100% a murderer. He's a murderer. Now, what about this baby? What did this baby do to get murdered? The Gemara says, they bring, the heavenly beit din brings merit to the one that has merit, and obligation to the one that has obligation. Meaning, if you have done good things,

1:21:36then Hashem is going to send you, according to the Beit Din of Shamayim, and say, "Listen, this guy likes mitzvot. How do we know? Look, he's been doing mitzvot for 5, 10, 15, 20 years in a row. He's doing mitzvot. So you know what? Give this guy the mitzvah opportunity of a lifetime. Let him write the sefer that all of Klal Yisrael is going to learn forever." Let him write a sefer that's going to give people chizuk. Give him the ability to speak and give people the ability to do teshuva. Why? He likes mitzvot. Give him the opportunity to do mitzvot. Oh, look at this guy. He gives tzedakah. He likes giving tzedakah. You know what? Let's give him a lot of money. Why should we give him a lot of money? Because he likes giving tzedakah. So he likes the mitzvah of tzedakah. Let's give him more opportunities to give tzedakah. Why? Because since he already has merit, he earned more merit. The reward for a mitzvah is a mitzvah. Now, on the opposite end, if a person has sins, Hashem gives them to the heavenly beit din. Judges, this person likes sins, we're going to give him more opportunities to sin. He sinned by being promiscuous with a woman without being married, or perhaps she was married to somebody else, or he was married to somebody else. Okay, we'll give him an opportunity to be a murderer now too. She'll get pregnant.

1:22:46...now, what about this baby? What did this baby do? No, this baby, this baby that's being murdered, he was a murderer in his previous life. He had an abortion when he was here before. So, the tikkun of somebody that had an abortion is for them to die as an abortion. That's what that is. There is no age... no, that baby is not a baby. That baby inside the mother that's four, five, six months—it's not a baby, it's a neshama. You're not a baby, I'm not a baby; there are no babies. There's no such thing as babies. Babies are just in human form. We think of them as babies, but there are no babies. The neshama has been here since Adam. Almost 6,000 years old. You're kind of old, by the way. I'm the same age. But the point is, you look young for 6,000. But the point is that this neshama that's inside the mother that's going to get murdered as an abortion, that's a rasha. That's a rasha that had an abortion himself or herself in a previous life. Before they became a baby here, they died, whatever way they died, but during that life, they had an abortion.

1:24:03Either themselves or they caused somebody else to have an abortion. So in order to punish them measure for measure, Hashem returns them, reincarnates them as an abortion. Why? Megalgelim zechut al yedei zakai v’chovah al yedei chayav. Merit to the meritorious, obligation to the one that's obligated, the one that's in debt. Next question. Yes. Yes. Well, if somebody already raises their hand in the air... Torah calls them a rasha. And you are allowed to defend yourself. There's no second thought there. At the moment of war, you cannot think about whether they're going to return or not return. Once they've already raised their hand, they're coming to kill you. They're coming to hurt you. You're allowed 100% to defend yourself. We're not Christians that think if he slaps you on one cheek, give him the other. That's only a Christian thought. If he's coming to kill you, kill him first. The mitzvah.

1:25:13Let me try to kill him first. Now, on the other hand, if you know he's not coming to kill you, he just wants to punch you in the face a couple of times and embarrass you, what do you do? Run away. you could run away. Run away. Why? It's better to run away than to engage in a fistfight and hurt him, hurt them. And the truth is, what a lot of young kids don't understand is that fighting today is very different than it used to be when we were kids. When we were kids in Israel, if you fought—which I used to get into a lot of fights when I was a kid—I was a little tough kid who was really small but liked to fight big kids for some strange reason. Anyway, when we fought, we fought with fists. Like if somebody got on your nerves and you got on his nerves, you just, you hit him. You hit him, you kicked him, you did whatever you did, but that's it. That stuff doesn't exist anymore. When I came to America, that was one of the first things I realized. This is not Israel. Here, they don't punch you in the face. Here, they stab you. Here, they shoot you.

1:26:13Here, they're actually trying to kill you. Like when I was a kid, in my generation, you were just trying to punch him in the face, trying to kick him, trying to embarrass him, trying to get back at him because he annoyed you, and that's it. It doesn't work like that here. How did I find out? I got jumped twice, and I almost died twice—once when I was a teenager and one time in my 20s. They literally tried to kill me. Not because I did some horrible thing. Nothing. I did nothing according to actual reality. Did nothing. But one of the guys had in his mind that I looked at his girlfriend, who was about three times my size. But for some reason, he thought that I liked her because I was waiting in the parking lot for my car, and she happened to be there. So he thought that, so he brought seven of his friends and they went to town. They went to town. Why? Because that's what they do. Now, we thought, you know what? Let's get back at them. Let's get back at them. But then we realized that they carry guns.

1:27:20They're not just fighting to fight. No, no, it's guns. That's how people are. Now, I know people, because as you get older, the older you get, the more people you know that die. It's one of the unfortunate things of life. I know a bunch of people that died. I know one guy that he and his friend, there were two guys, two Jewish guys. One of them was Israeli, one of them was really American. All day, they did nothing. nothing. All day, they sat on the staircase and played with cars. Not toy cars, but real cars. They had cars and would build the engines, fix them, and do all types of stuff. All day, it was cars, cars, cars. Their cars were like their gods. And all day, if you wanted to find these guys, you didn't need to look anywhere else. They were over there. And if you didn't see them, it was because they went for a drive with one of their cars. You could hear the car from 50 miles away because of the noise it made. One day, we didn't see him there. But we saw a bunch of other people there. So what happened? Oh, somebody said something to one of their sisters. And they said, "You know what? Let's go scare him." And they started chasing him, car against car.

1:28:34start chasing car against car, just to pretend like they're going to go beat him up. Pretend. You know what? That was a cool game until he died. Until the guy that was running away from them, he made a wrong turn, and he died. It's a cool game, though. It's cool. And then they went to jail. Well, one of them went to jail. It's a cool game, though, right? It was fun. Fun. Until he died. It's not fun anymore. That's what happens in real life. Like, ah, vroom, vroom, vroom, hey, hey, we're going to catch him. Like the video game. And he died. It's not fun anymore. It's not somebody's son. That's somebody's brother. You know what I'm saying? Somebody died. Another time, a couple of guys around the street, non-Jewish guys, really athletic, good-looking guys, great guys, fun guys, all that. One of them got into a fight with the other guy in a schoolyard over a basketball game. The other guy got really, really upset, so he took a bat and he smashed him in the head. He didn't mean to smash him in the head. He actually meant to hit him in the arm because he didn't want him to play anymore. But he missed, and he smashed him in the head. The guy became mentally impaired for the rest of his life. He was in the hospital and in a coma for about three or four years. And I have a bunch of these stories. And that's what happens when you grow up. It's like, "Let's fight." Yeah, you get him. You get him a ride. Yeah, you're like Rocky. No, it's not Rocky.

1:29:51shoot you in the face and you're dead. It's not Rocky anymore; it's not fun anymore. But that's the thing that kids don't realize today. You think you're going to punch him. Yeah, you may punch him, but then his friend comes and he shoots you in the face, and there's no returning from that. It's not fun anymore, and it only has to happen once. You, tough guy? Yeah, let me show you tough guys. They're in jail or they're dead. I'll show you them; I'll introduce you to them. See how tough you are next to them. that's the thing that kids don't realize. Kids think, "No, no, no, I got this guy." Yeah, you got this guy. You get this guy today; I'll get you tomorrow. You got him today; I'll get you tomorrow or next week or a month later or six months later. You're walking around at night after a nice, you know, Shabbat dinner at your friend's house, you're walking in the street, and this guy sees you, the end. And a bunch of guys, a bunch of guys from years ago. That's what happened.

1:30:52So, don't play with fire. Don't play with fire. Don't fight anyone. Even if you got him. Even if you got him. Why? Because his brother, you can't get him. Why? His brother is a murderer. And that's what happens a lot of times. A lot of times, it's not the guy that you fight, but somebody that wants to defend his honor. No, he's my boy. What do you mean? You haven't talked to him in five years. No, no, no. That's just a guy that wants to kill somebody. That's just a guy that wants to kill somebody. And then he kills you. And that's it. You're finished. There's no returning from that. No, but you said that God is going to protect you. Yeah, not if you put your hand in fire. He'll protect you, but not if you put your hand in fire. You're not Moshe Rabbeinu. You put your hand in fire, you're going to get burned. So, fights, run away from them. You're not that tough. The moment a gun was invented, the toughest guy in the world became nothing. Nobody's tough. Guns exist. Next question. There, this wasn't in the movie. Yes? May I put you on the spot? I'm always on the spot. I don't want to embarrass you.

1:32:14I want to know if something you said earlier is correct because I think it must be a good learning opportunity. Wait. Oh, the guy, oh, Slifkin. Oh, I talk about Slifkin. Yeah, Slifkin. Natan Slifkin. He has written—I'm going to tell you the name. I'm on the spot, don't worry. If I say something, I thought about it a few times before I say it. I'm not a donkey. There's a guy, he's a rasha, pretends to be a rabbi doctor. He runs a zoo, but he's one of the animals. And he has written articles against me, the Torah, and other rabbis as a career for many years. But after he was put in cherem or his books were put in cherem by the Gedolei HaDor several years ago, maybe about 10 years ago or so. Pretty much the world made him into a distant, horrible memory, like one of those nightmares you don't want to think about anymore. No one actually had thought about this guy. He lives next door to a bunch of people that I know, and they said no one even heard that he exists. That's how much of a bad memory he's become. Anyway, we mentioned him in a lecture, that he is one of the heretics. He's a well-known heretic who continues to write articles for years against rabbis, against the Torah, against different things.

1:33:38so we put him on a list, a blacklist, and he is utilizing that to try to rebuild his career. For the last two weeks, he has practically written an article a day about this whole thing, making fun of me. He and his friends, you know, they make fun of me and this and that. They came out with a little movie today, trying to make fun of me or trying to highlight different things and distort them. So that guy, yeah, 100%, he has no life. He's a waste of life, and he's actually one of the people that is considered, why? He's a rasha that knows he's a rasha but still argues otherwise. A person like that, it's a mitzvah to talk against them simply because you're warning the public. You're warning the public about someone who's a danger to the community. If somebody goes to his blog and reads his posts, their IQ automatically drops. Automatically, there's thoughts of heresy in their head. Why? Because he writes things that are not accepted among Am Yisrael.

1:34:41When he makes fun of us, he doesn't make fun of us; he makes fun of the things we say, even though the things we say are sourced in the Torah, in the Arizal, in the Gemara, and in the different Chachamim. Even things that we say literally from the Torah, he makes fun of them. Why? Because he has called himself a rationalist. Meaning, if it doesn't make sense to his puny little head, then it doesn't mean that it's true. Because he became the Mara D'Atra, he became the one that understands all. So a person like this, it's a mitzvah to talk against them. Mitzvah. Why? Because this is a person that simply causes harm to people. I'm sure he's watching right now, and he's going to make another movie about this too, and he's going to write another article about this. So we'll make it article number 11 or 12. He's making a career out of this because nobody even knew who he was two weeks ago. Everybody forgot about him, so now he's making a career out of it. He wrote a recent article saying he has a campaign to make sure that we are not only thrown out of the Agudath HaRabbanim, but also thrown out of YouTube. YouTube will throw us out because we are inciters of hate or some type of other nonsense that he uses.

1:35:54this is a person that surely has no life and, unfortunately, causes a lot of harm for others, but he doesn't have a very big reach. He just has a big mouth. So, a person like that—no problem talking against. I've done it many times, and I'll continue to do it whenever appropriate. you have to show a little jealousy. Yeah, jealousy. You have to show a little jealousy. So, what is the... Where's the line? Where's the line as far as jealousy is concerned? Okay. So, jealousy against a regular person that's not your wife or husband is forbidden. You're not allowed to be jealous. It's a sin from the Torah. So much so that the Torah says that someone who is jealous will not be resurrected with the dead.

1:37:02Because jealousy is something that, if you have it for somebody else, it's a source of heresy. Source of heresy because you're jealous of what he has, because you believe that you should have it, which means that you think that Hashem made a mistake. So that's a form of heresy. It's not heresy mamash, it's the avak of heresy, it's the dust of heresy. So jealousy of other people, no. But jealousy as far as between husband and wife, or even between you and a Talmid Chacham, is healthy jealousy that needs to happen. So let's say, for example, a Talmid Chacham—you have a Chavruta, or you have somebody, a Rabbi, who wrote several books, and you haven't written anything, and you're jealous—that jealousy you want is constructive. Because you also want to write, that's a good jealousy. Because not suffering is good. saw that his Kiddush was better than yours? That's good. Next time, you work harder. That's competition. It's healthy competition. Now, jealousy against somebody in a negative way? No good. But this type of jealousy is good. Jealousy as far as between a person and his wife, a wife and a husband, it has to be, obviously, within reason. Within reason, meaning that you need to care

1:38:18why they're doing what they're doing and where they're going and why they're going where they're going. You cannot be one of these nonchalant husbands who's practically a doorknob that his wife tells him, "Listen, honey, I'm going away with my girlfriends. I'll see you on Monday." And it's now Thursday. "I'm going on a weekend." "Oh, where are you going, honey?" "No, I'm going with the girls. You know, we're going to the girls, you know, having a good time with the girls." And you say yes. You should get divorced. Why? Not because she's a bad woman, but because you're an idiot. You have no understanding of what it means to be a husband. You let your wife go away to her girlfriends, you're not fit to be a husband. And she definitely doesn't want to be a wife. Why? It's not healthy for her to be away from her husband for that long, especially with other women, needless to say, with perhaps women that are single, women that are promiscuous, women that are immodest, and so on and so forth. And if you say, "I don't care," there's something wrong. You need to care. If your wife says, "Okay, honey, I'll be back," and you don't ask where she's going, that means you don't really care about your wife. It's not that you're asking where she's going so you can send a spy to see if she's really going. I'm not talking about psychopaths.

1:39:31so you care. You care where she's going. "Where are you going?" "I'm going to the store." "Oh, why are you going to the store?" Not because you want to see if maybe she's cheating on you, or because you're thinking, "I'm going to kill her, I'm going to kill him." No, it's not that. It's because you care. Why is she doing these things? Maybe I could help her. Maybe it's not necessary. Maybe I should go with her. You know, you care. If you don't care, you don't have a little bit of jealousy, something's wrong. If the wife says, "Honey, where are you going tonight?" and he replies, "I'm going to hang out with my friends," then she might say, "Oh, you hung out with your friends yesterday and the day before and the day before that for the last six years." There's something wrong with that wife too. Now, if the husband says, "No, no, but that's the way I am," that's not a husband. That's not a husband. A husband that wants to hang out with his friends every night doesn't want to be a husband. He just wants somebody to be home when he finishes making trouble. So you have to have some jealousy between the husband and the wife because it's a form of caring, it's a form of loving. And again, this is common among the tzaddikim. You're never going to see a tzaddik's wife just roaming the town.

1:40:35And the husband doesn't know what she did today, doesn't know where she went today. You're never going to see such a thing. You're never going to see one of the tzaddikim's wives go away for the weekend, and he doesn't know, care, or ask her 500 times where it is. Because what ends up happening, Rabotai, is that when a person is truly connected to his wife, a woman is really connected to her husband, they start getting to a point where they can't live without each other. Separate from each other so much so that they say a story. I believe it's about either Rav Kanievsky or Rav Elyashiv. I believe it's about Rav Kanievsky. One time, his wife told them, "Uh, okay, I'm gonna be back." "When are you gonna be back?" "He's old. They're both old. They're 80-plus years old. Wait, when are you back?" "Oh, I'll be back." "No, exactly, exactly when you're gonna be back?" Like he's asking as if she's going with some guy or something. The students are over there... When are you back exactly? When exactly? Oh, I'll be back. Okay. All right. I'll be waiting. Okay, okay. Now, she's a tzaddeiket. I am a tzaddik. And the students are wondering what's going on here. Why is the rabbi asking all these questions? They ask the rabbi. He says, "When the rabbanit is not here, I don't have yishuv hadaat. I can't learn Torah. I can't learn Torah when she's not here."

1:41:53she's studying with you? No, she's sitting next to you? No, she's doing her thing. She's in the house, talking to different women to help them. She's not like someone that just sits. She's not sitting with them. So what do you mean you need? I need a home. Why? Torah calls the wife "bayit." What's bayit? Home. Wherever she is, that's my home. Whether that's in Florida, or that's New York, or that's Zimbabwe. She's there, that's my bayit. When my bayit is not in the bayit, I can't study. Can't study. I can't do anything. Why? My bayit's not here. Every time you see the husband goes with the wife to the doctor. Why is he going? Is he sick? No, she's sick. Why is he going to the doctor? Because my bayit is at the doctor. I need to go with my bayit. Now, of course, there are certain times that it's not necessary to do it. You know, she has to do things, you need to do things. Sometimes it's not even appropriate to do things. If she needs to go to a woman doctor, you can't go to the woman doctor.

1:42:57because of all the things that are there. You wait in the car, you wait downstairs, she does what she does, and you go. Or perhaps you just call her after, "Call me when you're finished." But the point is, where does this come from? Jealousy. But what kind of jealousy is this? This is jealousy out of love. Not obsession, not psychosis, not the negative jealousy that causes people to murder each other. This is jealousy out of love, and if you don't have that, it means there's no love there. there's no love there. So the Tzaddikim, the older they get, the more they love their husbands and their wives. The Tzaddikot love their husbands and the Tzaddikim love their wives. Why? Because the more you live with each other, the more you get to know about each other, the deeper your neshamot (souls) get closer to each other, and you end up falling in love with each other. Meaning that while people in the secular world think that they fell in love at first sight when they were 20 years old, the truth is they don't even know what love is. When are you going to know what love is? Maybe 40, 50 years from now. If you're still together. If you're still together, maybe. Maybe you'll know about 40, 50 years from now. What you have now is lust. Lust.

1:44:09You know, so 40, 50 years from now, you're going to have something that you can call love. Why? Because you don't even know each other. How do you know you love each other? You don't even know each other. All you know is what your body looks like. It doesn't mean love, it's lust. So, the point is that a jealousy that's out of love is a good jealousy. It's a healthy jealousy, and it's necessary. But when people are careless about where their husbands go and where their wives go, it's very, very unhealthy and many times it leads to divorce. Many times, it leads to divorce. There's too much freedom. She goes out. He goes out. Everybody's out. And Hashem leaves too. Hashem leaves too. And that's what happens. Next. Almost done. Maybe one or two questions left. So the Shulchan Aruch, Orach Chaim, section 18, and the Shulchan Aruch, chapter 15, section 9, mentions that it's forbidden to pray in front of a mirror. Would it also be forbidden to stand up in front of a mirror before I do? It's forbidden to say a blessing in front of a mirror because there is always a risk that you will look at yourself, and in essence, you're praying to yourself. This indirectly makes you akin to an idol. So it's forbidden to pray in front of a mirror. It's also forbidden to pray in front of a picture. Meaning, if there's a picture of a person, you're not allowed to look at that picture while you're praying.

1:45:35So let's say, for example, some shuls have a custom of having pictures of Tzaddikim on the walls. But very, very rarely will you ever find the pictures of Tzaddikim inside where the shul is. Because you're not supposed to have inside the shul. Sometimes they make the mistake and do it. I actually saw a Bet Knesset that has the picture of a very famous rabbi that died right next to the Aron HaKodesh. And I left immediately. Because obviously this is horrible. But if there's a picture of a person a custom of having pictures of Tzaddikim on the walls. But very, very rarely will you ever find pictures of Tzaddikim inside where the shul is. Because you're not supposed to have them inside the shul. Sometimes they make the mistake and do it. I actually saw a Beit Knesset that has the picture of a very famous rabbi that died right next to the Aron HaKodesh. And I left immediately because obviously, this is horrible. But if there's a picture of a person ...and let's say you're praying in somebody's house, and there are pictures of people, tzaddikim, and they're good people. When you're praying, you're not allowed to look at any of those pictures, and you're supposed to position yourself away from them, away from those pictures, so you're not praying to any particular person. Now, as far as, let's say, for example, you're in a place, and there's a decorative mirror, whether it's on your left side, right side, behind you, whatever it is, and you're praying, it's fine, just don't look at it. If there's no way for you to avoid it,

1:46:36whether it be in an airport or some other place where there's a mirror or a reflection of you. There's no way for you to avoid it. You're still allowed to pray. Just don't look at it. Don't look at a reflection of yourself. There's a very big mistake that people make. Sometimes they think it's cool to tape themselves or video themselves while they're praying and put it on YouTube or on Facebook while they're putting on tefillin and they've got selfies. This is forbidden. Gemara in Masechet Shabbat says a person... that is thinking about anything but HaKadosh Baruch Hu while he has tefillin on, there's a kitrug on him. There's a case against him. So surely you're not thinking about Hashem when you've got a selfie and you're looking at the views. And how many likes you have while you have tefillin on. You are not allowed to do all of these things. You are not allowed to do these things. Surely you should not take pictures of yourself while you're praying. You know, people like to take pictures of themselves while they have their tallit on. And they're praying, pretending to be Baba Sali or something. And they put it as their profile picture. This is a complete mockery.

1:47:40Somebody else takes a picture of you on their own, they decide to do it, that's a different story, that's fine. But if you take pictures of yourself, that means you don't have your mind in the right place. And many times you're going to see people pretend to be tzaddikim that way. They have somebody taking a picture of themselves, they put it on some internet, and they have a lot of books next to them even though they can't even read, and they pretend to be tzaddikim. Don't do stuff like that. You pray, it's time to pray. You learn, it's time to learn. You want pictures, time to take pictures. If somebody else takes a picture of you, no problem. No problem, they can take a picture of you as long as they're not praying. They're just there, they want a picture. Your wife is, I don't know, wants to take a picture of you because she likes the way you look with a tallit. Fine, no problem. But as far as you doing stuff like that, it's inappropriate. It's bizayon for the Torah, it's bizayon for the Beit Knesset, it's bizayon for Kedushah, it's not good. But as far as if there is a reflection of you in the room, let's say, it's even, let's say, that closet over there, you see there's some glass on it, that glass, if you come from a certain direction to it, is technically a mirror. And you can see your reflection. Can you still pray next to it? 100%.

1:48:53you can pray next to it. Just don't look at it. Don't look directly at it while you're praying, because it would seem as if you're praying to yourself, and that's not good. That's a form of idolatry. Good question. Next. How would you apply that healthy jealousy, let's say, for your children? Obviously, you want the best for them, and you see... Well, a child that's going to learn from his parents a life of Torah is going to learn how to treat their parents. Because one of the commandments in the Torah is to honor your parents. Now, the commandments of honoring your parents do the job for you if you comply with them. meaning your son or your daughter, just by simply learning this in school, is going to learn a lot of things that you're supposed to teach them. But they're going to learn in school. What are they going to learn? They're going to learn that you have to have so much honor for the parents. It's not just like being a puppy and saying thank you when somebody gave you something. And, you know, it's not just saying thank you. It's a lot more than that. You have to have so much honor for your parents that you're not allowed to sit in their chair.

1:50:15And now, let's sit in their chair. If your father has a chair at a table that he sits in, let's say he sits at the head of the table every time, you are not allowed to sit in that chair. Not allowed. Nobody allows it. You're not allowed to sit there. Not allowed to sit there. If your father is wrong about something, you're not allowed to correct him. Not allowed to correct him directly. You can't say, "Oh no, Abba, you're wrong." Not allowed. What are you going to say? "Abba, you know..." I heard somewhere that there is another opinion about such and such. Did you ever hear of that? That's what you have to say. Can't correct them directly. No, you're wrong, Abba. I know better than you. We all do that. Because we're all little rotten kids sometimes, and we think we know it all. No, no. When you raise your kid as a kid that's a ben Torah... a bat Torah, they're going to learn these things. They're going to learn how to treat their parents according to the Torah, which does a lot of the work for you.

1:51:16That's a lot of the work for you. The point of the school is to bring you kids that know the rules, and the point of you as a parent is to apply those rules. Now, if the father and the mother don't follow the rules themselves, then the kids are simply going to make the Torah that they're learning in school into toilet paper. They're not going to follow it. So the parents also have to follow Torah. But if the parents are constantly fighting in front of the kids, then the kids are going to say this Torah thing is a joke. So if the parents follow the Torah and they send the kids to a good place of learning Torah, you're going to have some good products. But if one of them is flawed, you're going to have bad products. Sometimes it happens even if there isn't. But the point being is that you have to do your best on that end. Aside from that, you have to try to do your best to encourage them to learn Torah by... enticing them to do it. If that means giving them candy, giving them toys, giving them different things that are permissible, don't just give them complete freedom. You should never give your kid a phone, like a smartphone, and just give them complete freedom to do whatever he wants with it. Never. Yeah, but no, he's already 10. Never. You remember what never is? Never.

1:52:31You can give him a phone, but not with complete access to it. Why? He has to learn how to deal with it. He has to learn how to use it. Just like you're not going to give him a brand new sports car with complete freedom to drive wherever he wants, whenever he wants. Same thing with a phone. Same thing with certain toys. You can't just buy him things and hope for the best. You have to censor certain things, give them stuff, but censor them and put things under control. Why? Because they don't know what you know. They don't know what's bad about this bad stuff that you think is bad because they think it's good. They don't know what they don't know. And by the time they find out, if they find that on their own or from their friends, it's too late. So you have to censor certain things. You have to be very careful with things. You have to be extremely patient, which is one of the most difficult things to do. And you have to give them time. You have to spend time with your kids. And I don't mean spend time with them, take them to a park. I mean spend time, talk to them, sit with them, play with them. Not just put on a movie and just sit there, and, you know, you're playing with your phone and can't, you know, you hope the movie goes on for nine hours so they can leave you alone. No, I mean like put the phone away, sit there, talk to your kids, play with them, play whatever, you know, do things with them. Learn with them. Get them interested in Torah by you being interested in Torah.

1:53:44Not just put on a movie and just sit there, and you know, you're playing with your phone and, you know, you hope the movie goes on for nine hours so they can leave you alone. No, I mean like put the phone away, sit there, talk to your kids, play with them, play whatever, you know, do things with them. Learn with them. Get them interested in Torah by you being interested in Torah. And it takes time because we're all busy and we're all in a hurry, you know, on the same rat race. But you got to do it. You have to invest a lot. Another thing is you have to pray for them. How much? To no end. Somebody came to the Steipler Gaon, the father of Rav Chaim Kanievsky. He said to him, you are a Gadol HaDor. How did you merit to have your son also be a Gadol HaDor? the biggest rabbi in the world. Somebody went into his uh, the Steipler started screaming, "Get out, get out, enemy of Hashem!" The guy right now got scared. The people followed him, "What's your story? What's your story?" He admitted.

1:54:54the rabbi didn't see him as soon as he entered the building. The Steipler Gaon was at the completely opposite end of the building. He started screaming, "Enemy of Hashem!" Now, his son is currently asked, "How did you merit to have such a great son?" A lot of big rabbis don't necessarily have their sons as big as them. One of the greatest examples is... One of the proofs that his sons weren't the biggest of the generation is the fact that his sons weren't chosen by Hashem to be the leaders of Am Yisrael. Yehoshua bin Nun was. Yehoshua bin Nun became the leader of Am Yisrael. So the point being is that they asked, how did you merit to have such a son? And the Steipler Gaon says to this person, he says, you have a Siddur. Did you have a Tehillim? He said, "Yeah." He said, "I have it too. I obviously do. I have a Tehillim. The only difference is, mine is full of tears. Mine is full of tears. I didn't stop crying for this kid. I didn't stop crying to HaKadosh Baruch Hu to have mercy so this kid becomes a Talmid Chacham. I didn't stop crying. So, you have to cry for your kids. You have to pray for your kids, if you're a mother, if you're a father."

1:56:19gates of heaven, the gates of tears are always open, always open. You have to cry for the kids, you have to spend time with them, you have to invest in them, and you have to surely invest in yourself. If you're not going to invest in your own learning, your kids are not going to be interested in it either. If you're more interested in money, your kids are going to be interested in money. If what moves you is money, or sports, or all types of other things, that's what your kids are going to want. Even if you send them to the best yeshiva in the world, why? Because that kid is eventually going to come home, and he's going to see his role model playing some video game, his role model watching TV, his role model on the phone all the time, even talking business on Shabbat. So obviously that's much more important than the yeshiva stuff that he's sending them to. So you have to be conscious of the fact that your kids are like little copy machines. They're going to do what you do. You like Torah, they're going to like Torah. You don't like it, you're too busy for it, they're going to be too busy for it. And many times parents are disappointed in their kids not becoming Talmidei Chachamim when they themselves are not even Talmidei Chachamim. And they're not even trying to become Talmidei Chachamim. And the truth is the kid is normal.

1:57:46He's normal. He's following his parents. So that doesn't necessarily mean it's a good thing that he's following his parents on stuff like this. But nonetheless, it happens. It happens many times. You have to lead by example. Last but not least, when it comes to them playing with friends and things like that, you have to be very careful in your decision-making process of who your kids are allowed to play with. Your kids are not allowed to play with just anybody, including family. Just because it's your brother's kids doesn't mean that they should play with them. Just because it's their cousins doesn't mean that they should live next door to them. Just because he's a really nice kid doesn't mean that he should be friends with your kid. It doesn't mean. You have to be very careful. If you have family members that are not religious, move away.

1:58:48Move away. Why? Life becomes easier once you move away. Because if you're going to live a righteous life, and you want your kids to follow suit, you're not going to be able to go over their house every weekend. Why? Because your kids are going to learn from them. And if they go to public school, your kids go to yeshiva, guess what? Your kids are going to become kofrim. Because they're going to learn from the public school kids. No, but it's their cousins. Isn't family good? Not necessarily. Yaakov Avinu did not want to stay a single day with Esav and his kids. Not a single day did he want to stay. Not a single day. Why? He says, "My kids are soft." What do you mean soft? "Your sins are going to infect them. They're going to kill my kids." So if your family is secular, your family is very modern, and you're trying to be a tzaddik, you're trying to be a tzaddeket, you have to move away. Why? I mean, you could stay there technically, but it's just going to be very, very difficult because they constantly want to come over. You go over, they come over, everybody comes over. Before you know it, everybody's BFFs—best friends—they're in your house all day, you're at their house all day. When you don't want to come the one time a month, they make you feel bad about it.

2:00:02you're guilty for three years because you didn't come one time, and it's a nightmare. Best move away. Why are you moving? Why, do you hate us? No, no, I love you. It's just that, you know, come up with some clever reason. Oh, there's a job opportunity over there. What job opportunity? What are you having? You didn't find a job yet? No, no, it's opportunities, opportunities. The doctor told me. Doctor told me? Doctor? You sick? No, the Rambam, the doctor. He said, I have to move away. You have to. Why? It's difficult. It's difficult living next to family. So you have to be careful. But if it's not family, there's even less of an excuse to stay with them if they're not on the same wavelength as you. So if your kid has kids in his class that are bad kids, even if they go to the same yeshiva, do not let them hang out together. if you are not allowing your kids to play video games because you want to preserve your kid, you want your kid to be holy, but his friends in school, their parents don't really care. They have TVs in their house, they have video games in their house, they have all types of toys in their house. Guess what? You want to preserve your kid; he's not allowed to go to their house. He wants to hang out with them? They could come over to your house, but without their toys, without their video games.

2:01:22Productivity: Why don't I want my kid playing video games? Why do I want my kid to engage with Torah? Why? Because, first off, we have already discussed how important it is to keep your mind clean. Second of all, the moment you start playing video games, all interest in a book diminishes. Why? Because this is a book with ink, while that is a video game that moves. The guy moves. He talks to me. He shoots stuff. He does stuff based on me pressing buttons. This, I can read it until I'm bleeding from my eyes. The words are not going to change. So guess what? Your yetzer hara says the book is boring. The video game is more interesting. All of a sudden, you know what? I don't study anymore. And this happens all the time. I deal with dozens and dozens of kids. Dozens and dozens of kids. Hundreds of kids. One of the biggest things that I try to get them to do is stop playing video games, which is a very, very big ta’anug. But some of them are willing, some of them are not willing. I don't push it too much to the point where I say, okay, don't learn at all. But the point is that it's a very destructive tool. It's a very destructive tool. But unfortunately, many parents, including religious parents, allow their kids to play with their phones or with video games freely because they think it's not that bad. It's just a little stupid worm that goes in a circle or goes in a square. What's so bad about it? What's bad about it is that it's interesting. That's bad.

2:02:47It's mentally stimulating that you can press the screen and the dumb thing goes right or left based on your command. You're like a mini-god. Whereas with a book, nothing moves. Nothing moves in a book. So automatically, I'm going to have more interest in this. automatically. Does that mean you shouldn't have phones? No, you need phones for business; you need phones for life. You need phones, but you also need to know how to use them and when to use them. An eight-year-old does not need a phone. A ten-year-old does not need a phone. No, maybe they need it to call me from school. Why? Why do they need to call you from school? Maybe if something happened, if something happened, the police will call you. The principal will call you. Surely your son is not going to call you. The only thing your son or daughter is going to do with a phone is text message friends all day instead of learning Torah. They don't need phones. They don't need phones. They're going to need phones when they get older because it's part of the world. It's like electricity. But you have to know when to give it to them. How much freedom. Parents give their kids way too much freedom. Way too much freedom. I know somebody that gave their five-year-old a phone. Brand new phone. $800 phone.

2:04:03$800 phone to get a five-year-old. They got upset when she broke it. I got upset that they're so stupid for being upset at a five-year-old. It's like you're upset at a kid for shooting a gun after you put it in his hands. You cannot give your kids complete freedom. You have to choose their friends carefully. You have to choose the places they go to carefully. You have to be involved in their life. This means that whatever work you had with your kids until now, double it, triple it, quadruple it. It doesn't end. It doesn't end. But you have to do it. If you're going to have kids, you have to invest your time. You have to invest your time. And don't just put all of the responsibility on one parent. Both parents have to be involved. Both parents have to be involved because it's not easy. It's not easy. You're reminding me that I have to go back home and be a parent right now. Thank you very much for learning with me. I'll see you guys again on Tuesday. No shiur on Sunday. Tuesday night, we'll be back here. Baruch Adonai Le'olam. Amen.

2:05:23Both parents have to be involved because it's not easy. It's not easy. You're reminding me that I have to go back home and be a parent right now. Thank you very much for learning with me. I'll see you guys again on Tuesday. No shiur on Sunday. Tuesday night, we'll be back here. Baruch Adonai le'olam, amen.