Stay Away From Bad Neighbor!! (14 minutes)

0:00In a sense, so Netai HaArbeli says, distance yourself from these bad neighbors. Distance yourself from these bad neighbors for yourself, for your own good. The Rambam, in Hilchot De'ot, chapter 6:1, says there's an obligation. There's an obligation for a person to move if his neighborhood is full of reshaim, full of wicked people, full of those who are going against the Torah, not interested in teshuva, not interested in anything relevant to the Torah, you're obligated to move. You're not allowed to live there. So then the next she'ela, the next question is, okay, what if every place is like that? I live in Sodom and Gomorrah. I go to Smith Street, it's Sodom and Gomorrah. I go to Park Street, it's Sodom and Gomorrah. Everything is Sodom and Gomorrah. What happens? I'm in Manhattan. What do I do? Rambam says, move to the desert. Your neighbor should be the scorpion and the snake. It's halacha. It's not like some weird midrash that no one's ever heard of that I found myself. It's halacha.

1:23He says, move to the desert. A scorpion and a snake are better neighbors than a rasha. Because, at least if they kill you, they only kill your body. Whereas the rasha is going to kill your soul forever, G-d forbid. It's halacha. So now you have to understand the significance of... Getting away from this. This is why it also says, "Archek mi'shachen ra ve'lo titrachek." "Archek" means remove yourself from the bad neighbor. Technically, it should say "titrachek," which means distance yourself. Go live somewhere else. No, "archek" means you can't even be friends with them. You have a shop owner or a person that's an atheist, with no interest in teshuvah, no interest in anything. goes against the Torah openly, mocks the Torah, makes fun of things. Oh, look at this rabbi, look what he said. Like one of these idiots on YouTube, has a YouTube channel with 300,000 followers, making fun of the Torah. Making fun of it. His whole life, he's just making fun of the Torah. His whole life. They're going to use all the content that he used as nice content.

2:51introduction to his genome when he gets there and he finds out that it's true, the Torah is real. But unfortunately, we have many people like that in our generation. A lot of people make fun of the Torah. Not necessarily does everybody have a YouTube channel, but there are many people who are putting themselves in such a bad way where they become a michshol rabim, causing other people to sin. And this is the essence of a Shechen Ra. A Shechen Ra is not just someone who is bad by himself and simply sits in his home, smoking on Shabbat by himself. A Shechen Ra, in this context, refers to a person who is a Rasha. This person leads others to sin. He organizes gatherings like a hookah party on Shabbat afternoon. Moreover, it's the person that invites everybody to inappropriate places such as a strip club. Such behavior influences others negatively, drawing them away from Torah values. Therefore, it's critical to distance oneself from such influences, as the Rambam advises. This is the person who has the Super Bowl party on the same day that there is a shiur Torah, knowing that all of those people are going to miss the shiur Torah. But now, who cares? Put God on hold. Go tomorrow. Go next week. And these people are dangerous influences. Rambam says you're not allowed to be friends with them. You have to do exactly what it says in last week's parasha: move. Cut yourself off.

4:15Cut yourself off; you cannot stay connected to these people. That's why it says, "Do not associate with a wicked person." Now, obviously, it means not to connect to him. Now, if you're in the business of doing kiruv, this makes it very, very difficult. If you have family, like pretty much everyone in Israel, that has people who are secular in your family... Friends that are secular. People you care about that are secular. This is a very, very critical thing to listen to. What does it mean? Don't be so connected to them. Yes, you're allowed to come in, teach, and leave. But don't start having barbecues on a daily basis. The guy is at your house. Sometimes he's bringing pig, sometimes he's bringing monkey, sometimes he's bringing this, and you make a separate side of barbecue. Let him eat his treif. No, no, no. You come to our house for Shabbat, you become Shomer Shabbat. You don't drive to my house and then drive home on Shabbat. You want to come to my house, keep Shabbat, stay in my house for Shabbat. If you can't stay for Shabbat, then don't bring that behavior to my house. Why? Why shouldn't you bring that behavior to my house? Why shouldn't you drive to my house on Shabbat and then go home on Shabbat? Because I have little kids. My little kids are tzaddikim. They don't know what a chiloni is.

5:46They don't know what a secular person is. They see somebody driving on Shabbat, whom I'm honoring, and saying, ah, look, this is my friend Tzvika, this is Shmuley, and this is Danny. They all came to celebrate Shabbat with us. After we talk, we schmooze, and discuss Avraham Avinu, Moshe Rabbeinu, and all these wonderful things. Everybody smiles, eats, and celebrates. Then, okay, goodnight everybody, and they go. The little kids see them from the window, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, turn the car. and they drive. Abba, what happened to Avraham Avinu and Moshe Rabbeinu? They said, don't drive on Shabbat. Why are Danny, Shmuley, and Tzvika driving? What are you going to say to them? No, they don't know? What are you going to tell them? The kid's not going to understand that they don't know. You just talked about Moshe Rabbeinu. It seemed like they knew fine. So, you can't connect to them to such an extent that That you let them sin inside your house. Listen, I understand it's difficult. Some even say, listen, if you're going to invite them the first time, and they drive the next time, don't let them. Personally, I don't think you should let them sin at all, ever. Because if it's okay once, why is it not okay twice? If it's okay for him to drive on Shabbat for one year, why is it not okay for him to drive for two years? And then three years, and four years, and five years, and ten years. It's either true or it's not.

7:12The fact that he's not willing to accept it right away and keep Shabbat immediately, I understand. However, you need to let him know that when he's in your house, he must observe it. Just like if you visit a home where part of the etiquette is to remove your shoes upon entry, what do you do? You remove your shoes. If it is customary in the house to remove your hat when you enter, what do you do? You take off your hat. You do what is the custom in the place that you go. There's no difference from anything else. You want to go to that house for Shabbat, go to that house for Shabbat. However, having people who are completely anti-Torah over at your house and allowing them to desecrate Shabbat openly can create problems. You have to be really strict with it, even though it may mean having fewer guests for Shabbat. Rather have fewer guests for Shabbat than people who are going to taint your kids and tell your kids that it's okay to drive on Shabbat, and the car doesn't blow up when you turn it on Shabbat. Because, really, all you have to stand on with little kids—this is one of the things that people don't understand. With little kids, if you want them to stick to Judaism, to stick to Torah,

8:37Without letting go, without just sticking to it, you have only two things to hold on to. One, reward them. Give them a reward. If a kid wore a kippah the whole week, give him a candy. Give him a little story. Give him a high five or a tzitzit. Give him a little story. Give him a little high five. Give him candy. Give him something. Reward him for something. He learned his Mishnayot. He learned his Chumash. He did his homework. Give him some reward. That's one thing you have to stand on. Chazal says this. It's not my rules. Chazal says you must reward them. This is in the days of Chazal. It's not just the days of now. In the days of now, Hashem, you should probably give him a plane. But obviously you have to give rewards with taste, with tact. You can't give the kid a plane every week. Give him a candy. Give him something small. Also, appreciate something small much more than he will if you buy a video game every week and ruin them. So that's number one: you want to educate your kid, you want him to want to do the mitzvot; you have to entice them. With that, the second thing, which is going to be a surprise to some people, is fear. Scare him to death. Hashem doesn’t like when people take off their kippah. Hashem doesn’t like people who don’t do their homework, and you have to let them know.

10:00The fear of God, you tell them one time, to a kid, they'll listen forever. They'll listen forever, I'm telling you. I know this for myself. When I was a little kid, even though we didn't keep much, you know, in terms of strict religious observance. When I was 10 years old, we kept a few things. We went to a religious school. But as soon as we landed in America, we became less observant. Didn't keep anything except for holidays and basic customs. In my opinion, we didn't keep much. But whatever, some people may consider it a form of minimal observance. You know, just like part of the stuff. In my opinion, based on what I know today, we kept nothing. But it doesn't make a difference. The point is that we came in, we keep some holidays, keep kosher whenever it's convenient. But what did I make sure to do my whole life? No matter what. Doesn't matter if I'm dating a non-Jew. Doesn't matter if I'm doing whatever. Doesn't matter if I'm eating treif. Doesn't matter if

11:01What am I doing my whole life? There are two things I did my whole life. One, every time I have a piece of paper, I always put B'ezrat Hashem in the top right corner of the paper. Anytime I write anything on a piece of paper, I always have B'ezrat Hashem, the bet and the hay. The second thing is saying Shema Yisrael before I go to sleep. Why? Because my mom told me this is what God wants when I was a little kid. said, listen, my teacher told me about b'ezrat Hashem and my mom told me about Shema Yisrael. It's good to say before you go to sleep. Hashem wants it. Hashem is almighty. Hashem is great. Hashem is everything. Nobody told me Hashem punishes people who don't keep Shabbat. People told me, Hashem wants you to say Shema Yisrael before you go to sleep. Hashem wants you to put His name on a piece of paper. Okay, so that's what I did. You tell little kids, this is what Hashem said. You put the fear of Hashem in them. They'll do it. And that's the only thing you have to hold on to. Until they have enough Torah knowledge that they learn in school, b'ezrat Hashem, and at home, that it becomes part of them and they want to do it. But before you get to Ahavah, before you get to love of Hashem and desire to do His will, you have to have Yirah. You have to have fear. There's no Ahavah without Yirah. So this is also another reason why it's very, very dangerous to have reshaim in your life.

12:27If you have a community full of reshaim, full of people that are wicked, full of people that are against the Torah, they could ruin your kids. This is also why you, unfortunately, hear sometimes that rabbis who move to new communities that are full of secular people, trying to help them do teshuva. And sometimes their own kids, the rabbi's kids, get tainted, get hurt because of this. The kid goes off the derech. Because the rabbi can't be with his kids all day, he has the community, he has to learn, he has this, he has a lot of things to do. So his own kid's going to grow up and play. Who's he going to play with? He's going to play with the secular kids. He sees them smoking; he wants to smoke. He sees them drinking; he wants to drink. He sees these behaviors, so that's what happens. It's a very, very big problem, and it's very dangerous to be in a place like that. It's better to...

13:27not to go, uh, in most cases, but it's also messy with nefesh. The rabbi will have enough; these kids do. However, the point is that the Mishnah here is telling you that when you are next to, or connected to, resha'im, you are going to be infected by it. You are going to be infected by it. Now, ...