TeShuva Story from Teenager Yosef from Florida

1:02Just wasn't living life to the fullest. Right now, I know I'm not living life to the fullest. I know I still have to improve. I have to do a lot of things. But back then, it was just much more emptiness. And back then, I didn't know how to fill the void. These days, I at least know how to not feel empty. I feel more in control of my emotions rather than my emotions being in control of me. So, in the seventh grade, I was just unhappy. Eighth grade, not happy. And in the eighth grade, I was in an all-boys school. Roar Middle School. You might know me from that time. During my time there, a significant part, though not all of it, I often pondered why I had to be in an all-boys school. Why couldn't I attend a co-ed school, meet women, and find happiness there? This is what I thought would bring me joy. I imagined that if I went to a co-ed school, I would meet women and be content. But here, we were just in an all-boys school. Why? Why were we isolated from society, right? That's the kind of thought process an undeveloped mind might have.

2:03So, I made the decision in the ninth grade to go to a boys and girls school. The second I arrived, there was already a disappointment because originally I thought the school started at nine, but it really started at seven. However, that's already a big disappointment, although at least it ends earlier. When I was there, I was an unconfident person. I barely talked to the women. And we'll address the ulcers after, but I'm just telling you the story. I was not this confident person. I was in the background. I was this loser, this failure, so insecure about myself. I was so afraid of other people, and being in the all-boys school is simply better, not even from a heaven and hell perspective. And then. And then I graduated that year with bad grades, no friends, and it was a big disappointment of a year. And then in the summer, after that I'd be going to the 10th grade.

3:10I went to a shiur for the first time, and I heard in that shiur—and the reason I came to the shiur was because I'd get money; you get $15 if you go for an hour. But in that shiur, I heard for the first time the severity of wasting seed, the severity of wasting seed. I always knew it was wrong. I always knew it was bad. But never in my life before that was it just drawn out clearly what's going to happen if you do it. how bad it is, serial killing. I never saw it likened to serial killing before. I never even heard anyone discuss it. And when people don't address the problem, that is the biggest problem. Therefore, when the problem was addressed and I heard about it for the first time, I was scared, terrified, and I didn't know what to do. I fell a few times in the beginning, even after knowing it was bad, but I got up. I kept going because I knew It's like, let's say a house is burning down. You're running out, and you fall down. Are you just going to stay there and let the fire catch up to you because now there's less of a chance to get out? No, you have to get up from the ground and still run out. And that's really how it is here. There's no room for despair. There's plenty of time for despair once someone's literally burning in Gehenom. But right now in this temporary world, you have to turn that around. And when I've been quitting the faculty...

4:31I've become a much happier person, a much more grateful person. Suddenly, veggie burgers, ketchup, and cheese just taste great. It's good; this is food. I have a refrigerator. Back then, they would have to bury food in the ground just so it wouldn't rot. They needed it deep in the ground because it's a little colder under the surface of the earth. These days, you have a refrigerator. You get meals three times a day. A bed to sleep in; it's not a stack of hay. and comfort that people take for granted. The Gemara says, who is rich? One of the people says, someone who has a bathroom in his house. Just go to the bathroom instead of walking out to the field in the middle of the night and then having to dig a hole there, you might hear a snake hiss. People take things for granted, but that's not always the biggest problem. The problem is what causes them to take things for granted. And I think it's when you do much bigger sins. You're going to do small things and not care about it. Like when someone wastes seed, why would they care? They forgot to say bracha. I'm entitled to eat, right? So therefore, if you stop engaging in such behavior, it might take some time. But you will become a happier person in this world. And let's say refraining from this behavior would make you miserable, it would still be worth it. Because in the next world, you'd be happy forever. And that's not even the case here.

5:56We're very excited to offer you the new Be'ezrat Hashem app 3.0. It's a newer, faster app, full of Torah and lots of Kedusha through the shiurim that we do. Myself, Rabbi Ephraim, and Rabbi Chaim where you'll have also newer features where you'll be able to use the app while using other applications on your phone. You'll be able to share the shiurim directly from the app. You'll be able to donate online and support our k'vod and our Torah work that we're doing. And the most exciting feature is that you'll be able to actually ask questions directly on the app and get answers from the rabbis directly from the app. This is something unprecedented, and Baruch Hashem, we will be able to offer it. Thank you again for all of your support. Check it out, and make sure you have the kosher Torah that will re-energize your neshama each and every single day. Kol tuv u'brachah v'hatzlachah.