The Benefits to Your Suffering
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Transcript
0:12Chachamim say that if a person knew the value of his suffering in this world, he would actually pray to have suffering. The reason why is because anytime you experience suffering in this world, it could be considered part of your kaparat avonot. Kaparat avonot means that it's a replacement, like a sacrifice for any sins you've already committed. Like a sacrifice for any sin you've already made. Instead of suffering in Gehinnom, you're suffering here. But since it's here, the value of the suffering here is exponentially more valuable than over there. Meaning that if you suffer here for one minute, it could be the equivalent of one year in Gehinnom. So if a person, let's say, for example, loses a bunch of money.
1:24it is a little bit of suffering. Even though it's minuscule, trivial suffering that you have to go into your pocket again to get the right coin, it's still considered suffering. And therefore, in Shamayim, they say, "Oh, okay, let's erase an hour off of his Gehinnom sentence." This is to show us how Hashem is trying to constantly give us more merits. How Hashem is trying to constantly find ways not to punish us in a place of punishment that no one ever wants to hear about, see, talk about, or listen to. But the reality is that it's real. It's a real place. It's not embarrassing you. It's not making fun of you. It's fire. So we should do everything we can to avoid going there: one, by fulfilling our time with mitzvot; two, by fulfilling the Torah for the sake of fulfilling the Torah; three, by stopping sinning; and four, if suffering actually does happen, know that there is a benefit to the suffering. There is a very big benefit to the suffering, and if you accept the suffering with love...
2:37then the value of your suffering is exponentially higher than if you accept them, but you're still bitter. Yes and no. I mean, it's not so simple. Meaning that if a person, the Gemara says, a person that has a bad wife doesn't see the gate of Gehinnom. Now, this is not necessarily a literal statement, but in essence, what the Gemara is telling you is that having a bad wife is like having Gehinnom all the time. So it's kippur kapparot avonot every day. But if a person fulfilled the entire Torah while having a bad wife, then yes, they won't see Hashem at home. Why? Because any sins they did make, she's a kapparot avonot every day. She's suffering every day, so they'll be erased every day. But if he doesn't fulfill the Torah, if he's Mechalel Shabbat, if he's a homosexual on the side, if he steals, if he does all these other things, it doesn't matter how bad his wife is; it's not going to help him. It's not going to help him. But you have to feel bad for people that have bad wives, because I actually have a situation right now with somebody that I know, who unfortunately has a really, really horrible wife. then yes, they won't see G-d at home. Why? Because any sins they did, she's a kaparat avonot every day. She's suffering every day, so he'll be erased every day. But if he doesn't fulfill the Torah, if he's a mechalel Shabbat, if he's a homosexual on the side, if he steals, if he does all these other things, it doesn't matter how bad his wife is, it's not going to help him. It's not going to help him. But you have to feel bad for people that have bad wives, because I actually have a situation right now with somebody that I know, unfortunately, he has a really, really horrible wife.
3:49He has a really, really horrible wife, such that even on my enemies, I wouldn't wish them to have such a wife. But she calls herself religious. She calls herself religious, yet she is unfortunately a very, very bad person. There's nothing to help. It's a moot point. There's nothing to do there. It's a hopeless situation. And even though what she does is very, very bad, not only for him but also for other people. You have to limit how upset you get about it because he can't do anything for himself. He can't help you. You feel bad for the guy. By the same token, yeah, there are some people who are just bad people. There are plenty of them, unfortunately. Next.
