This Is An Epidemic Among Young People

0:04A young man sent me questions several times about an issue that he had. And, of course, many young people send me messages, questions, and so on. But the most common questions that I get from young people—and older people actually—is the whole issue of arayot, what to do with the issue of kedushah and shmirat habrit, regarding girls. Sometimes the girls ask me about boys, and so on and so forth, because they're not married, and sometimes because they are married. The point is that people are struggling with this epidemic. But it's not corona. The issue is the whole matter of how to handle yourself, your kedusha. Now, when it comes to sexuality, HaKadosh Baruch Hu is very, very clear about what's allowed and what's not allowed. If she is your wife, and if he is your husband, you are allowed to be with each other during the time that the woman is pure, meaning that she has counted her clean days, gone to the mikveh, and then she's pure and you're allowed to be with her. The Rambam writes, clearly, about how many times each person should be with their wife. If someone is a regular, average Joe, they can be with their wife as often as they want during the time that she's pure. But if someone is a Talmid Chacham, a scholar, then they could limit it to once or twice a week because they need to retain their energy. Plus, it's not the proper behavior of a Chacham to act like a rooster.

1:13Clearly, the guidelines regarding marital intimacy suggest that if someone is a regular, average individual, they may be with their wife as often as they desire during the time she is in a state of purity. However, for a Talmid Chacham, it is advisable to limit this to once or twice a week in order to preserve their energy and because it is not fitting for a Chacham to behave excessively. Now, but that's assuming she's your wife and that's permissible. On the other hand, what if she's not your wife? Then HaKadosh Baruch Hu says, if you touch her, if you're intimate with her, if you're intimate with him, you're both going to get a punishment that you're going to wish for the Holocaust instead of this punishment. Such extremes. such extremes. On one hand, I'm allowed to be with my wife if I'm an average guy, okay, every day as long as she's pure — let's say half the month. Okay, fine, I understand that. I can pray; you know, there's benefits to not being with your wife every day for different medical reasons, psychological reasons, for marriage reasons, and so on — no problem. But how come there's such an extreme? What if she's not my wife?

2:40She's not my wife. How come I can't have a girlfriend? HaKadosh Baruch Hu says, your girlfriend, your boyfriend, is going to get you to a place worse than Gehinnom. Why? Because HaKadosh Baruch Hu says, the Kedusha of a person is what makes him a Jew. That is what distinguishes us from all of the other nations. Why? Because all of the other nations are allowed to be with each other as much and as often as they want, even during the period. But Am Yisrael, Am HaKadosh, we're different. Why? Because we are almost a—not almost, in essence, a—different species, because we have a different role in the world. Now, a person who does not have the right ideology will have a very difficult time accepting what I just said. In fact, they may reject it vehemently. They may ask, what do you mean? On one hand, I've received help in one part of the month. On the other hand, you're telling me that kaf hakela is where I'm headed. You're also suggesting I'm going to Gehinnom. What’s the issue here? Why can't there be some middle ground, like sometimes? HaKadosh Baruch Hu doesn't work on a "sometimes" basis.

3:57And that's why he says in Parashat Shemini, Moshe says to the nation, this is the thing that Hashem has commanded you to do. Then the glory of Hashem will appear to you. This and not that. This Torah and not their Torah. This Kedusha and not their Tumah. This Emet and not their Sheker. We are meant to be a light unto the nations, not to follow their misguided practices. Remember, every Jew has to remember that he's a Jew and she's a Jew. We don't celebrate non-Jewish holidays, even if they seem harmless. It's a zilzul, disrespect. to the Torah and could lead to Chilul Hashem, the desecration of God's name. Stick to our holy Torah and our own holidays. That's the path of a true Jew.