Understanding Your Problems

0:13Thank you everyone for coming for not only a shiur but also for a simcha, Sheva Brachot. A lot of success in their life and their marriage. And everything that they do, lots of cute little kids. Also, this year will be a happy anniversary and happy birthday for dear friends of ours. A couple that's been together for, b'ezrat Hashem, many, many more years, but has been together as many years as you guys are going to be together also. This is the birthday of Yehudit Vega, Kringel bat Chaya Sarah, and also the anniversary between her and her husband, Yeshua Yisachar Dov ben Vega. So, HaKadosh Baruch Hu, give them not only a happy birthday, many, many birthdays, a happy anniversary, b'ezrat Hashem.

1:27You know, we have a lot to learn from the couples that have been together for all these decades. Today's generation, you don't hear too many stories of people having a long marriage like you did in the past. In the past, it was normal to be married for 30, 40, 50 years. It wasn't really much of a big deal. Today, they celebrate when they hear somebody's married for 10 years, like, "Wow, chazak u'baruch, 10 years you survived with the same woman? Wow. Same one for sure. Wow." They think it's a big deal. That's what you're supposed to do. But today, unfortunately, we have a mentality that if it's broken, get a new one. Not if it's broken, fix it. If it's broken, get a new one. That's the mentality today. The mentality today is that if you don't like what's going on, replace it. Unfortunately, there is a billboard that they actually advertise in America, but also in Eretz Yisrael. I'm assuming it's different companies, but because there's a shem all over the world, they advertise something to the tone of: "You sick of your wife? Find a new one at such-and-such website. Go and we'll get you one from Russia. We'll get you one from Thailand. $3,000, get a new wife."

2:54I know five or six guys over here are thinking, $3,000 is not so bad. It's cheaper than a wedding. No, but this is, unfortunately, unfortunately, that's what people think today. They think that, you know, if you don't like what's going on at home, you should buy a new one. And that's the mistake. That's the mistake that a lot of young couples make, thinking that the grass is greener on the other side. And there's a lot to learn, a lot to learn from couples that have, you know, built a relationship over 20, 30, 40, 50, 60 years. You ask him, what's the secret? The secret is we wanted it to work out. That's the secret. Meaning that we had fights, but we knew that the fight is just something temporary. It's a difference of opinion. And we have to figure out how to get through this. Such is the battle that a person has in his own life. Unfortunately, if a person does not know how to overcome obstacles in his own life. He's going to have a very, very difficult time overcoming them in married life if he's not able to fix his own flaws and realize that he has to fix certain things about himself or herself. If they don't address these issues individually, they're also not going to want to do it when it comes to marriage. This is something that I believe is a really sheer koach. I know it's relevant to all of us and

4:22that all of us at one point, if not almost every day, have asked, "Why is this happening to me?" We have problems. With a show of hands, who doesn't have problems? Nobody's raising their hand. What's wrong with you guys? You guys like depressing me now. No, what does it mean? It means you guys are not liars. Why? Because everybody has problems. Now, despite the fact that we all have problems, And we all know that everybody else also has problems. We all still ask the question, why me? Why is this happening to me? As if you're the only one it's happening to. You're late to some appointment because you had a flat tire. Oh, why is Hashem doing this to me? Wait, are you the only one in the world that Hashem gave a flat tire to? Is the entire auto industry dependent on your flat tire? If that's the case, they might as well shut down shop and start a new business. But the reason why there are auto shops all over the world is that a lot of people get flat tires. And guess when they get flat tires? On the way to appointments. They're not getting flat tires in a garage. They're getting flat tires on the way to an appointment because they're driving. You're not the only one that's getting a flat tire. You're not the only one that got sick. You're not the only one that lost money. Because every time you lost money, somebody gained it.

5:49It doesn't go into the abyss. Your loss is somebody else's gain. Your gain is somebody else's loss. So the next time you lose, don't say, "Why me?" You say, "Why me?" when you win. Why? Because somebody else lost. Why him? You don't feel bad when you win. You feel bad when you lose. But the point is, as much as we all know everything I just said is true, we still ask the question, "Why me?" We still ask, "Why is this happening to me?" "Why do I have so many problems?" Why did I get sick? Why did I lose money? Why did I do this? And why did I do that? Why is this happening to me? And so on and so forth. We ask the question. Asking the question makes you a human being. Not knowing the answer, unfortunately, is a problem. And the reason why it's a problem is because the answer is available to you first thing in the morning. In essence, what are you thinking? You're thanking Hashem for giving back your neshama. Why don't you thank your cousin Steve for bringing your neshama back? How come you don't thank your mom and dad for bringing your neshama back? Why don't you call your rabbi first thing in the morning? Rabbi, thank you for bringing back my neshama.

7:10Why don't you call your boss? Hey, Mr. Boss Man, thank you for bringing back my neshama. Why don't you call Bill Gates, the richest guy in the world or one of the richest? Call Bill Gates: Listen, thank you for bringing back my neshama. How come nobody thanks any of those people? Because they didn't bring back your neshama. As much as you love your parents, they didn't bring back your neshama. As much as you love or hate your rabbi, he didn't bring back your neshama. He may help your neshama go to Gan Eden or not to Gehinnom, but he didn't bring back your neshama. Why don't you thank him? Because they're not in control. Who's in control? Who are you saying thank you to? HaKadosh Baruch Hu. The problem that we have, Rabotai Yekarim, is there's a disconnect. There's a disconnect between the Modeh Ani to the Shema Yisrael that we say before we go to sleep. Everything else is clear. Modeh Ani, we know we need to do. Shema Yisrael, we know we need to do before we go to sleep. Everything in between is confusing. We know how to wake up. We know how to go to sleep. Everything else, we're not so sure. Because we ask, why me? Why didn't I get the raise? Why didn't the customer sign a deal with me? Why, why, why, why, why? So today, Rabotai Yekarim, we're going to try to answer the question of giving us a little bit more of an explanation of why we have problems, but really more than just why we have problems.

8:37really understanding the root of all of our problems. Now, of course, we've said it before, there's no suffering without sin. Anytime we suffer, it's because we've sinned at some point in our life, either it was today or yesterday or a week ago or a year ago or 10 years ago or even in a previous incarnation. Sometimes a person will get a punishment in this life because of something he did in his previous life. He'll find out that, rachmana litzlan, his wife is cheating on him. Why did he get married to such a horrible wife that's cheating on him? Because he cheated on her in a previous incarnation. That's why he got it, he cheated on his wife. Why did somebody get killed in this life? Because he killed somebody else. That's what we learn from Hillel HaZaken. The Mishnah in Pirkei Avot. He says, there's a skull floating in a river. He looks at the skull and he talks to it. He says, you know why you're here? Because you did this to somebody else. And whoever did this to you, someone else is going to do this to them. From there we know that the source for reincarnation already is in the Torah and Pirkei Avot and everywhere across the Torah.

9:57not believing in reincarnation is a very problematic status, and the reason why is because you won't have explanations for 99% of the stuff that's happening to you or to other people, which will leave you in a place of either confusion or in a belief that Hashem is simply vicious, chas v'shalom. we're going to start off with a story that's going to shake you up, maybe wake you up a little bit, but we're only going to answer this question at the end. There is a period of time that Am Yisrael went through that all Jews are responsible to remember throughout the entire year. That's the time when we had the sorrowful period of the Ten Martyrs. These were the Jewish martyrs, the tzaddikim, who were viciously murdered by the Romans in horrific and brutal ways. Anyone who reads the Midrashim of what happened to them simply starts crying, and if you don't start crying, you should go to a doctor to check. Maybe you've lost all fluids in your body.

11:18Because when you hear what happened to them, you can't help yourself but cry. Now, one of those tzaddikim is Rabbi Yishmael ben Elisha. Rabbi Yishmael ben Elisha was beautiful. So beautiful that his skin was shining. I don't mean shining like you put some makeup on. I mean shining like the light. Shining like it was dark in the room. When he walked in, his light was like the sun. That's how beautiful he was. He was so beautiful that the daughter of the Caesar, when she found out that the Caesar decided to kill him, said, "No, no, no, Abba, please. He's so beautiful. Please give him to me." She wanted him like a pet. says, "No, no, no, I already swore. I'm going to murder every single one of them. He's one of them. I'm murdering, I'm chopping up the parts." She pleaded, "But he's so beautiful, please. I don't want to lose such beauty." He replied, "Don't worry, I will preserve his beauty for you." He got some vicious doctor to come and start peeling the skin of...

12:34Bioshoah ben Elisha, while he's alive. Now, while he's dead, while he's alive and they're peeling off his face like you take off a mask to make sure not to hurt the skin, to make sure that they could put this on a mannequin, put it on the wall, and still preserve the same beauty. And he's cutting it little by little, slowly, so it doesn't hurt the skin, doesn't cause any damage, and... Throughout all of this time, the tzaddik doesn't say a peep. Not a scream, not a yell, nothing, as if he's not even touching him, as if he's numb. And he continues to cut throughout his face, and he cuts, and he cuts, and he cuts. It hurts me just telling you the story. But he cuts him, but the moment he gets to his forehead, suddenly... Rabbi Yishmael screams at the top of his lungs. Why? He got to the place of tefillin. He got to the place of tefillin. That means he cannot put on tefillin. Can't put on tefillin, you don't have skin on your head. So he starts screaming. Suddenly a bat kol, a heavenly voice, comes from Shamayim.

13:58It says to Rabbi Yishmael. Rabbi Yishmael, not Rabbi Yehoshua. Rabbi Yishmael ben Elisha. Rabbi Yishmael. If you scream one more time, I'm going to destroy the world and bring it back to Tohu VaVohu. All of the angels run to HaKadosh Baruch Hu. They see this tzaddik being murdered in such a horrible way. They start crying to HaKadosh Baruch Hu, "HaKadosh Baruch Hu, this is Torah and this is its reward?" HaKadosh Baruch Hu yells at them, "If you ask one more question, I'm going to destroy the world and bring it back to Tohu VaVohu." So now Rabbi Shlomo Kluger asks the question that we're going to answer at the end of the shiur. What is this? Is Hashem a gangster? He's threatening Rabbi Yishmael, "If you scream one more time while they're peeling your skin, I'm gonna destroy the world." If you ask one more question, I'm gonna destroy the world. What is Hashem threatening people?

15:15Who wants to volunteer an answer? Well, you're still shocked with the story. Well, I promised you we're going to get an answer. And the answer is going to answer a lot of your own questions. This will also force you to stay awake the whole shiur. Now, the Gemara in Yerushalmi, in Masechet Demai, Perek Aleph gives us some interesting stories about some of our tzaddikim, some of our grandparents. It shares some interesting stories about them and something that we can learn from them. It starts by talking about Rabbi Pinchas ben Yair. For anyone who Heard this name does not show who this person is. You've probably heard his name inside the story of Rabbi Shimon bar Yochai. Most Jews have heard the story of Rabbi Shimon bar Yochai, where Rabbi Shimon bar Yochai was hiding in a cave for 13 years. In the cave, he was learning Torah with malachim, and when he came out of the cave, he had such power that when he saw people not serving Hashem, just because of him being upset, he looked at them, and they went on fire.

16:39He says, "You're wasting your time with this world. Why are you wasting your time working? Hashem sent him back to the cave. 'Why did you come here to destroy My world, Rabbi Shimon? Go back to the cave, calm down.' He was there for 12 years; stay another year. He and his son went back into the cave for another year. His Kedushah was too much for this world. Now, when he finally came back home after 13 years, his father-in-law saw him, and everyone was celebrating: 'Rabbi Shimon is alive!'" Wow, Baruch Haba, Baruch Haba. And he tells them, "You were learning for all these years in the cave." But they see his body is weak. So Rabbi Pinchas ben Yair, his father-in-law, his wife's father, starts, you know, hugging him and he sees he's fragile. He's fragile. "Oh, okay. Let me massage you a little bit, make you feel good." He starts massaging him. And he sees it's painful, so he takes off his shirt and sees that his entire body is full of marks, literally as if his body was engraved. Why? To preserve his clothing, Rabbi Shimon and his son Rabbi Elazar dug themselves a hole in the ground so they could stand in the hole and cover themselves with sand the whole day while they were naked. Why? Because they only had one outfit. They didn't have time to bring suitcases.

18:07So they knew they only had one outfit, and they didn't know how long they were going to be in this cave. So they figured that for tefillah (prayer) and for Shabbat, they could wear clothes. The rest of the week, they didn't have to. They could just, you know, cover themselves, because you're not allowed to be naked. They covered themselves with sand. But all this sand, you know, sand is how you make glass. Anyone that hasn't seen it, it's a very interesting process. You take sand, you put it on a huge bed that goes into a huge, gigantic machine the size of several buildings, and they heat up the sand to 3,000 degrees. The sand turns into almost like lava and eventually turns into glass. It's very interesting. In essence, that's how you make glass; all of this glass comes from sand. That's how you make glass. So imagine all of this glass is hitting his body over and over again every day for 13 years. It starts engraving into his body. So now when Rabbi Pinchas ben Yair saw that his entire body is full of scars and wounds, he felt so bad, he started crying. And then one of the tears fell into one of the wounds. And you know your tears are salty. So immediately as the tear hit the wound, he's like, "Ah!"

19:18Hurt, you know, putting salt on the wound is not just an expression. So Rabbi Pinchas ben Yair says, "Oy li that I see you like this. Woe to me that I see you in such pain." Rabbi Shimon bar Yochai responds, "No, no, woe to you if you didn't see me like this." Why? Because the last time you saw me 13 years ago, I had a little bit of Torah, but not so much. Now that you see me like this, that's a result of all of the mesirut nefesh and sacrifice that I've made to learn Torah in the cave for 13 years. So woe to you if you didn't see me with this much Torah that I have today. So this was Rabbi Pinchas ben Yair and Rabbi Shimon bar Yochai. Now, Rabbi Pinchas ben Yair was the Gadol HaDor. And the Gemara in Yerushalmi says that one time he walked into a certain town, and the townspeople ran up to him and said, "We see that a Tzadik is here." They said, "Kvoda Rav, please, we need your help. Mamash, you're a nes from Shamayim. You're a miracle from heaven that you came to our town. Please help us." He said, "What's the problem?" They replied, "Kvoda Rav, we have a plague of rats. The rats are eating all of our food. All of our vegetation is being eaten by rats. What can we do?"

20:37Please, Kvoda Rav. Rabbi Pinchas ben Yair says, oh, no problem. He went into the middle of the city and commanded all of the rats to come. Not with any type of Kabbalah. Simply because of the Torah that he possessed, he said, rats and mice, all of you are obligated to come here. Suddenly, hundreds of thousands of rats and mice show up in the middle of the city. And all of them are chirping. They're talking rat language. Anybody here speak rat? I'm still learning. I haven't learned yet. All of the rats are talking to each other. You know, they're making their own sounds. They're making their own rat language. But nobody understands, except Rabbi Pinchas ben Yair. He says, oh, that's what's happening. He tells the people, he goes, you understand? No, no, we don't speak rat. We don't speak rat. Oh, you don't understand because do you know what they're telling me? Well, what they're telling me is why they're eating all your food. Why are they eating all our food? He says they got permission from Heaven. They got permission from HaKadosh Baruch Hu to eat all your food. Why? What did we do? He says because you don't give ma'aser. If you don't give ma'aser, you don't give 10% of your income. You have no protection on your parnasah.

22:03Since you don't have any protection for parnasah, they were hungry. Hashem said, eat everything. Why? Their money is not protected. All the people went to Shagnok for the rat. Please, we'll do whatever you want. Tell the rats in our name, we'll listen to whatever you say. If you say we give ma'aser from now on, we'll give ma'aser. Rabi Pinchas ben Yair says to the rats, listen, from now on I'm taking charge, they're going to give ma'aser. You all have to leave. Suddenly, all of the rats left the city. Story number one. A short while later the Gemara says, Rabi Pinchas ben Yair goes to a different city. And in that city suddenly a very wealthy Ishmaelite, a very wealthy Arab, sends people to go find Rabi Pinchas ben Yair. Why? He says, what can I do for you? He says, listen, I have a problem. I have a very, very precious stone that fell on the floor. Suddenly, at the same time it fell, a rat came, thought it was food, ate it, swallowed it, and ran away. I hired all types of people to go get this rat. No one could find it. But you think I can help? What do I look like to you, an animal hunter? What do you want from my life?

23:24He goes, no, no, no, you're not an animal hunter. But I know, word is known, that you are a tzaddik, you say something, HaKadosh Baruch Hu makes it happen. Not that you're pest control. We just know you're a tzaddik, even in Arab land, even Mustafa over here knows you're a tzaddik. Everybody knows, you say something, HaKadosh Baruch Hu makes it happen. So Rabbi Pinchas Ben Yair says, ah, this is an opportunity for Kiddush Hashem? No problem, I'll find you. Rabbi Pinchas Ben Yair follows the same footsteps, commands all of the rats, all of the mice to come to the middle of the city. They all come, and he sees one of them has like a hunchback. He says, "Ah, you have the diamond. I command you to spit it out." He commands it to spit it out, and it spits it out. Story number two: Now there's a river called Ginai. And one time, Rabbi Pinchas Ben Yair

24:25had to go to this river, go past this river because he was going to a meeting with a bunch of Chachamim in the Beit Din, or Beit HaVa'ad. And the Gemara says that he got to this river and he saw that the river was rumbling, waving, and it's chaos. You can't just pass it, you know, like you usually do. It's making all types of waves. So Rabbi Pinchas Ben Yair says to the angel: every river has an angel. He says to the angel of the river, "I don't have time to wait for you to stop rumbling. Just stop right now and split for me. I have to go to the other side. I have a meeting, I need to go learn Torah." The river says, "What do you want from me? I'm doing the will of Hashem. Hashem made me a river. I'm doing what I'm supposed to do." I Rabbi Pinchas ben Yair says to him, "If you don't split right now, in the power of Torah that's on my lips, I'm going to ask Hashem to dry you and there's never going to be a drop of water ever in this river again." Immediately, the river split, like Moshe Rabbeinu. The river split. The river almost got a heart attack. He didn't have a heart though.

25:39Almost got a heart attack. Why did the Ba'al HaBayit say, "I command you, split now." There were a few talmidim following. So he said, "I always have talmidim following me. You know, I try not to want to bother them." So they're like half a mile away. But they saw him cross the river, but they're not really sure if the same miracle is going to hold for them. So as they got to the river, they called out, "Rebbe, can we pass too? Or is the river going to collapse on us like the Egyptians?" says to them, "If you never hurt another Jew in your life, then you can pass. But if you know yourself that you hurt another Jew, don't pass. The river is going to collapse on you. You're going to die on the spot." The same river is also mentioned in a different place in the Gemara. People of a town were saying this river is not giving them because, in those days, they used to have the cities right by the river. Part of the reason was because all of the vegetation was next to the river, and they would wait for the water to overflow. That's how they used to water all the vegetation, and

26:55It wasn't like today; we have fountains and all types of tubes that you could pretty much have vegetation in the middle of Montana if you really want to, even though there's no body of water. In those days, all of the vegetation was near the coastline. Why? Because you waited for a certain time of the year when the river would overflow, and that's how it would water all of your vegetation. But the people of the city said this river is not working. For the love, it's not working. It's not overflowing. The rabbi came to the river. He says, "How come you're not doing your job?" The river says, "I'm doing my job. I'm being a river. They're not doing their job." The rabbi asks, "So how come they're not doing their job? What are they not doing?" The river responds, "They're not giving Maaser. I watered their vegetation. They got Parnassah. They ate. They sold it. They ate it. They sold it. They ate it. They sold it. But they never gave 10% for Torah. So HaKadosh Baruch Hu says, 'They don't do their job; you don't do your job.'" So the rabbi tells the people, "Tell the river that from now on we'll listen to whatever you say." He said, "Give 20%. Just please give us some food. We're starving." In those days, you had rabbis like this who really had an understanding of how the world operates, talking to different angels, talking to different things. Now, so far, we've had...

28:21Four different stories, all have one common element, but we're not going to get to it yet. Story number five. A very famous tzaddik mentioned in the Gemara, there's an entire section about him in Gemara Masechet Ta'anit. But this is actually coming from the Yerushalmi, the same place. It talks about Rabbi Chanina ben Dosa. Rabbi Chanina ben Dosa one time was sitting down with some of his students for Erev Shabbat. As they sat down to have a meal, as they sat down on a Friday night to have a meal, they sit down, the table, one of the legs of the table, plops and falls and breaks. Out of nowhere. The students say to the Kvod HaRav, "Is everything okay?" Immediately Rabbi Chanina thinks for a second, That's why, yeah, yeah, no, no, it's a mistake. What happened is I borrowed some spices from my neighbor and I didn't give ma'aser off of the spices that I borrowed. I didn't give ma'aser. So that's why in Shamayim they're telling me what you don't give ma'aser from, you shouldn't eat either. So now I can't give ma'aser on Shabbat, can't give ma'aser on Shabbat. So what I can do is...

29:44There's a klal that you can do. There's something you can do. You can put a certain amount aside without saying, "this is ma'aser." Just a certain amount aside that you're saying, "I'm not going to eat this." Why? Because from this section, from this portion, I'm going to put ma'aser after Shabbat. But I'm not calculating exactly how much ma'aser is now. As soon as he put this section aside of the spices, the table picked itself up and fixed itself. the table fixed itself. Why? The table heard, "Oh, you fixed yourself. No problem. You don't deserve the punishment anymore." The table breaking. Last story is about another tzaddik that we have in our Torah, in our Gemara, Rabbi Tarfon. Rabbi Tarfon, one time, just to show you how Chachamim analyzed every single one of their actions. One time he was about to eat a sandwich, but as he's about to eat, something happened and the sandwich fell out of his hand and hit the floor. So the talmidim said to Rabbi Tarfon, "Ah, K’vod HaRav, is everything okay? Everything okay?" "Ah, yeah, that's what happened. What happened? The axe that I used to cut the bread—I borrowed it. I

31:02But since I'm a Kohen, I'm really supposed to purify everything that I use to eat. I have to purify it. So what do they tell me in Shamayim? They tell me in Shamayim that this axe that I used to cut wasn't pure enough, meaning that my bread is not like kosher Badatz. It's okay for you people. But for me, being a Kohen, it's not good for me. What is the common denominator among all of these stories, aside from the fact that they're all Very mystical, miraculous, and completely outside of our own reality. Do you see in every one of the stories how, as soon as something happened, instead of saying "Why me?", instead of complaining to HaKadosh Baruch Hu, instead of making all types of accusations? all types of heretical thoughts and sayings, like many people do today, the Chachamim immediately did something that we are all obligated to do at least once a day, called Cheshbon HaNefesh, self-accounting. Immediately, the Chachamim understood that nothing happens for no reason.

32:24Everything that happens in your life must have a reason. There’s not a hair on your head that HaKadosh Baruch Hu is not aware of. There’s not a single blink that you have ever made or will ever make that HaKadosh Baruch Hu is not aware of. A blink of an eye. One eye, not even both. One eye. You blink one time, HaKadosh Baruch Hu already knew about it before you did it. He knew about it before you even thought about it. Meaning that the second something happens in your life, the second you get a flat tire, the second your wife forgets to put salt in the food, the second your wife decides to throw a shoe and ends up hitting you in the head, the second stuff like that happens, rabotai, HaKadosh Baruch Hu already knew about it. It's not happening for no reason. second you wake up at 2:30 in the morning, and it's because one of your kids is crying because something hurts, but you have no idea why because he doesn't know how to speak English yet because he's six months old. He doesn't know how to speak, and he's six months old. But you can't really blame him because he's six months, and you didn't know how to speak either at six months. But he's crying; he doesn't want to let you go to sleep. And you're really not allowed to get upset, but you're really, really upset inside because you want to go to sleep and

33:51Guess what? You know who decided that you're not gonna sleep that night? It wasn't a six-month-old. Poor six-month-old is just crying because that's his job for the day. HaKadosh Baruch Hu hired him for the job. Next week He'll hire something else. But today He hired him. Today he's getting paid for it. Why? To torture you. Why? HaKadosh Baruch Hu has a reason why. That nail that pierced your tire, but not the 5,000 other tires that went over it in the last 10 minutes on the highway. It only pierced your tire. You know, HaKadosh Baruch Hu pierced your tire and not the other 5,000 cars because it was meant for you. It's like a sniper. A sniper doesn't just go and shoot everyone. A sniper goes on a special mission. He goes for one guy and they're going after everybody. He's going after one guy. He sits there, waits two weeks on top of the mountain, eating bars. Two weeks he makes sure he doesn't move. Why? Because he's waiting for that one guy to cross so he could shoot him. One guy, not the whole army. Two weeks he's waiting there. That nail was there for three years. Tens of thousands of cars have passed that nail and

35:14Tens of thousands of cars will pass that nail, but it's waiting patiently, waiting patiently, waiting patiently for what? For you. For you, one day, to go on the way to a really, really important appointment. Not an unimportant appointment. It was not a poor boy. There are different nails. Those are the fighting nails, those are like the nails that look unemployed. This nail has a good job. He's waiting for a long time. He's waiting for you, for that million-dollar contract. That's the nail. That's the nail. He's waiting for you like the best sniper in history. They're making a movie about him now. That's how good he is at his job. He's in, like, nail Hollywood because of what he did to you. You know why? HaKadosh Baruch Hu hired him. What do you think? When your wife makes soup and she forgot to put salt, do you really think it's your wife that forgot to put salt? Or it's HaKadosh Baruch Hu who decided today, you're not going to have salt. You can blame your wife as much as you want. Poor lady, it's not even her fault. It's lucky she even made you something. It's not her fault that you have something against you. It's not her. You, you are at fault, not her. HaKadosh Baruch Hu decided, yes, there's salt in the world. Everyone in the world is going to get salt except you.

36:37Why? You have a cheshbon with Shamayim. Something happened in Shamayim. You have a deficit somewhere. You owe somebody salt. Every single thing, every single move that you make in your life, HaKadosh Baruch Hu already knows that it's going to happen. He's the one that's in control of it. He's the one that decides that the nail is going to pierce your tire. He's the one that decides that your wife is going to forget to put salt even though you bought three pounds of salt. You bought enough salt to feed a civilization. But she forgot to use it. Why? Definitely because of you. Or better yet, she put salt instead of sugar. Why? For you. Specially made for you. The whole soup is ruined for you. Why? Because you did something. HaKadosh Baruch Hu is trying to get your attention. Meaning, Rabotai Yekarim, Anytime something happens in your life, don't look at your wife. Don't look at your husband. Don't look at your kids. Don't look at your boss. Don't even look at your customer and say, why are you doing this to me? Look in the mirror and say, why am I doing this to myself? What did I do to bring my situation to this point? Look at Shamayim and ask HaKadosh Baruch Hu, what are you trying to tell me? Not why are you doing this to me as if you're a victim. What's the message? What's the meaning behind the nail? The meaning behind the salt? The meaning behind the customer giving me the finger instead of giving me business? What's the meaning behind it? Why is this happening to me?

37:57Look at Shamayim and ask HaKadosh Baruch Hu, what are you trying to tell me? Not why are you doing this to me as if you're a victim. What's the message? What's the meaning behind the nail? The meaning behind the salt? The meaning behind the customer giving me the finger instead of giving me business? What's the meaning behind it? Why is this happening to me? Now, if a person simply changes, just makes that minor adjustment in their life, almost all of their problems are solved. The reason why is because you already know the source of all of your problems. You are the cause of it. Who is the source of it? Meaning, He's the one that's delivering them to you, but not to hurt you—to get your attention.

39:01Now, the Chafetz Chaim had some of the biggest Gedolei HaDor that we've had in the last hundred years who were Talmidim of the Chafetz Chaim. Now, one of them is the Ponovezher Rav, Rabbi Yosef Shlomo Kahaneman. And the Talmidim of the Ponovezher Rav... the one that built the Yeshiva Ponovezh, asked him one time, how did you meet the Chafetz Chaim? Because when he met the Chafetz Chaim, even though the Chafetz Chaim was a giant in Torah, he was really unknown at the time. He was unknown at the time. He was so unknown at the time that he had to sell his own books. He would go in a carriage, Guys, it's not a bus stop. Stop going in and out. Either stay or leave. The Chafetz Chaim would go from place to place with a little carriage, carrying his books. Finally, he arrives at a kehillah after all these days of traveling, and...

40:28And he wants to sell some of the books. What's this about? What do you want to sell a book for? Oh, it's about Lashon Hara. All of these books are about Lashon Hara. Do you have nothing else to do with your life? Just write about Lashon Hara? It's about Lashon Hara. It's very, very important. Well, it's free? No, it's for sale. Nah. Go, go, go. Let's make fun of him. You want us to buy this, Lashon Hara, all these books about Lashon Hara, when we have nothing to do with ourselves? Write something meaningful. writes a Chumash or something, writes a Midrash, he writes it in a bad language, he writes it in a bad language. In those days, they disrespected the Chafetz Chaim, miskin, how much kaparat avonot he had to go through. They just sell his books. People see his picture in every single corner in the Jewish world today. But at the time he was alive, you know how much kaparat avonot he had to go through? So he was an unknown. But one day, Rami Ponovich heard that there is a tzaddik in the city that's giving blessings to whoever comes. He says, why not? Why not go get a blessing from some tzaddik? Who is this tzaddik? He says, his name is the Chafetz Chaim. I don't know who he is. Okay, let me go. He goes to the house. And as he gets to the house, he hears a grown man hysterically crying. Like crying like someone died.

41:52Not the type of crying like when you pray, you cry to Hashem once in a while, it's like nothing, nothing, like it's half a crying. It's almost like you're trying out for a movie. You're not really crying though. No. Crying like when somebody died. So he's like, wow, Hashem, I arrived in the morning or something. I arrived, somebody died here, Hashem. So he said, I mean, it says, Shlomo HaMelech says, it's better to be... What's a good friend? A friend is someone that comes to someone at the time of need, when somebody dies, not at a time of celebration. So he comes inside, knocks on the door, and he sees the Rabbanit. He says, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, what happened? She says, Baruch Hashem, everything is okay. He hears the crying. Everybody hears the crying. Even deaf people hear the crying. There's some grown man crying hysterically in his house. She says to him, but there's someone crying. Oh, she says, no, no, that's okay. That's just my husband. He always cries. The husband will be, why is your husband crying? He goes, no, some woman came to us and she said she can't have kids. So he's crying to HaKadosh Baruch Hu to have mercy.

43:09Rav Ponevezh says, wait, where is this? Your daughter came to you and she said she can't have kids. That's why your husband's crying. His daughter is... No, no, it's not our daughter. It's what, your cousin? His niece? She goes, no, no, we don't know her. We never met her before today. Rav Ponevezh was amazed. He says... If someone can cry for some strange Jew they've never met in their life that much, the Shechinah itself must live here. The Shechinah itself must be here. This is the place in the world where the Shechinah has to rest. Why? Someone cares about Am Yisrael that much? Are they crying about a stranger not being able to have a baby? That's why you're crying that much? The Shechinah has to be here. Why? Because only HaKadosh Baruch Hu cries like this for His children. That's how he met the Chafetz Chaim. Now, years later, Rabbi of Ponovezh met Rabbi Galinsky. Rabbi Galinsky was a huge Talmid Chacham, a great Mezakkeh HaRabim, and a Kiruv Rabbi. His life story, if you read it,

44:25It makes you feel like you're mamash living on a different planet than this person. How much mesirut nefesh he was willing to do for the Torah, how much he did for the Torah, it's mamash unbelievable. Most people can't even spell Siberia. He learned Torah in Siberia with the rest of his yeshiva. While they were slaves, people go to Siberia, they don't come out, they die over there. He and the rest of the people from his yeshiva were learning Mussar. We're learning Mussar while being slaves, and that's how they would heat themselves up—by learning Torah. Rav Galinsky met with Rav Miponovich one time and tells this story in his biography. He says that one time Rav Miponovich said to him, "You know, I was a real chutzpan when I was a kid. I was a real chutzpan. I was really rude, hot-tempered. Because why?" Tzadik, why are you saying? No, why? Because no, when I first met the Chafetz Chaim, Rav Ponovezh has a story. Rav Ponovezh says, when I first met the Chafetz Chaim, you know, he told me, you want to join, I'm starting a new yeshiva, starting a new kollel for Kohanim, because he was a Kohen, and the Chafetz Chaim was also a Kohen.

45:44The Chafetz Chaim says, "I'm going to start a new yeshiva just for Kohanim so we can start learning all of the halachot of what to do for the Beit HaMikdash, because the Mashiach is coming. Mashiach is coming, Hashem is going to build the Beit HaMikdash, so He's going to ask us to be the Kohanim. We have to know what to do. Do you know what to do?" So Rav Ponovezh says, "I was such a chutzpan. You know what I answered him? I said, 'Father Rav, why are you worried? All I'm going to do is watch what you're doing and I'll do the same thing.'" He says, "I was such a chutzpan for a second at my young, foolish age. What was I thinking? That if HaKadosh Baruch Hu, when Hashem is going to build the Beit HaMikdash, I'm going to be in the same place, in the same facility as the Chafetz Chaim? Like I actually have such merit to be in the same world as the Chafetz Chaim? That's how much of a chutzpan I was." This is coming from one of the Gedolei HaDor. Saying about his teacher, the Chafetz Chaim. "I thought I was going to be next to him as a Kohen. We are for sure going to be, even if we're not Kohanim; we think we're going to be Kohanim. We don't even know how to spell Kohen. We're like, no, no, I already have the eight garments already. I have the eight garments. I'm good. I have the eight garments. I got it at the costume store. Now,"

47:15How did the Chafetz Chaim get to become the Chafetz Chaim? The secret is the Chafetz Chaim got to become the Chafetz Chaim in the same exact strategy as Rabbi Pinchas Ben Yair, who became Rabbi Pinchas Ben Yair in the same exact strategy and plan as Rabbi Hanina Ben Dosa, who became Rabbi Hanina Ben Dosa. Same identical plan. Strategy is Rabbi Tarfon. How did he become the Chafetz Chaim? Power of Torah. You wake up in the morning, you pray to HaKadosh Baruch Hu, and then you fulfill everything He says. Now, Chazal say that HaKadosh Baruch Hu has a midah, He has a character trait. I say Baruch Omer Ve'oseh. HaKadosh Baruch Hu, He says and He does. We see in Sefer Bereishit, how did HaKadosh Baruch Hu create the world? Did He hire construction companies? Did He get a title from the city? Did He try to get a discount, maybe to get some guys to work for Him without papers? How did HaKadosh Baruch Hu create the world? He spoke, and the world came into being.

48:43He said some words and those words created something. Something materialized from those words. That's why we say Baruch Omer Ve'oseh. HaKadosh Baruch Hu says something, something happens. If we act like HaKadosh Baruch Hu, where Hashem says and we do. If the Blessed One says, and we do, what happens? The same One that decrees, fulfills. If you do what the One that said and created something, you do what He says, HaKadosh Baruch Hu is the One that makes the decrees, and will fulfill whatever you want. When a person takes on this character trait, simply blindly following the word of Hashem, no questions asked. Tamim Tihyeh Im Hashem. Don't ask why did Hashem ask me to pray three times a day? Pray three times a day.

49:57Don't ask why Hashem made me fast on Tisha B'Av and on Yom Kippur, even though in reality I'm not the one who destroyed the Beit HaMikdash; it was a bunch of other people. Don't ask those questions, just fast. Don't ask why HaKadosh Baruch Hu says if you don't learn Torah in the morning and at night, you're destroying the world. You're destroying the world, you're part of the destruction of the world. Just study. Meaning HaKadosh Baruch Hu said something, whether it makes sense to you or not is irrelevant. If you simply... and innocently follow HaKadosh Baruch Hu completely and fulfill everything He says, you will be given the power where HaKadosh Baruch Hu will fulfill your decrees, whatever they are. It's that simple, but that difficult also. Rav Chaim Kanievsky, Shlita, writes at the beginning of his book that hardest character trait to implement is "midat ha'anava" (the trait of humility). Now, you would think, wait a minute, to have "anava" (humility) in you seems hard, but surely it's not as hard as overcoming anger. Surely, it's not as hard as overcoming lustful desires.

51:25Surely it's not as hard as overcoming stinginess or arrogance or whatever other character flaw. We all have them. Why is it that Rav Chaim Kanievsky, the Sar HaTorah of our generation, said that midat ha'anava is the most difficult one? A new book was just published in English recently. Why is midat ha'anava the most difficult? Simply put, if you look at it, anger is something difficult to overcome. I can tell you myself, I was born angry. I was already upset when they took me out. I was really comfortable inside, had food without having to worry about it, had a malach teaching me some good stuff. What are you bothering me for? They took me out, I didn't want to come here. I was upset already when I was born; I was crying and everything. Anger is difficult to overcome. Some people are so stingy. They're so stingy they start crying when they have to give tzedakah. They start crying, they do it on Eid. I asked one guy, "Do you know who the most stingy person is?" He says, "I know one guy who is so stingy, you're not going to believe it." I said, "How stingy?" He says to me, "He asked me what he has to do if he made this sin."

52:50So Rabbi Ephraim says to him, "You have to either give tzedakah or fast 84 times." He says, "Okay, I'll fast 84 times." He goes, "No, but tzedakah is much cheaper. You don't have to fast 84 times. Just give some tzedakah, some money." He goes, "No, no, no. I'll fast 84 times." He says, "But you have the money. You're rich. You're a rich guy. You have houses and everything." He goes, he says, "Listen." I'll fast. I'm not giving any money. I'll fast a thousand times. I'm not giving any money. That's how cheap some people are. Some people are so cheap, they'd rather kill themselves than give money. They love their money more than they love their life. Stinginess—if somebody has that sickness of being stingy, it's hard to overcome it. What about if somebody's arrogant? Thinks he's special. She thinks who she is. She thinks she's Mrs. Queen. She thinks she's something. You start telling her, "Listen, HaKadosh Baruch Hu hates people that are arrogant." It's hard for her to change. Why? She looks in the mirror, and from her perspective, she is more beautiful than everybody else. From her perspective, she is smarter than everybody else. So why should she feel less than what she is? It's hard for her to adjust. It's hard for him to adjust.

54:16Rav Kanievsky says the following. He says all of those things that are hard to adjust, the anger, the stinginess, the arrogance, all that stuff, it's not anywhere near as hard as overcoming the obstacle of midat ha'emet. Why? Because anger, you don't have all the time. You're not angry all day. You have different times during the day where you're going to be angry. You're on the highway, somebody cuts you off, okay, you're going to get angry. You're not angry just by default driving. You're angry if somebody cuts you off or if you're running late. You're angry if somebody talks back to you, but not all the time. If they're giving you a bunch of compliments, you're not angry. If they're criticizing you, you're angry, which means that throughout the whole day, you have 24 hours. You're not angry the entire 24 hours. That five minutes of anger may ruin 24 hours, may ruin your whole day, but you're not actually angry the whole day. If you're arrogant, you don't actually have a reason to be arrogant the whole day. When you're in the bathroom, no one's arrogant in the bathroom. Everyone feels uncomfortable in the bathroom. Everyone feels uncomfortable. Because somebody comes into the bathroom, what's that smell? And you know it's you. How comfortable, how arrogant are you now? You're not arrogant. You realize that all this disgusting filth is coming from you. How arrogant are you going to be? That's the reality. We're arrogant.

55:44stinginess, no one's asking you for money all the time. You're only stingy when someone's asking you to pay for something. So as long as nobody asks you to pay for anything, you're happy as can be. Emet, on the other hand, midat ha-emet, is all the time. It must be your default all the time. Why? Because 99% truth and 1% lie equals 100% lie. When you have midat ha-emet, that means you have to have the emet with everything that you do, 100% of the time. When you're criticizing, even if you're criticizing another person, your midat ha-emet, by default, is criticizing yourself because you know that you are also a criminal. When you're saying something to someone,

56:48you're also saying it to yourself. When you're looking at something, you're looking at yourself. When you're reading something, you're applying it to yourself. Midat ha-emet, the character trait of ha-emet, by default, you're constantly, constantly measuring everything versus 100% ha-emet. And if you make a shortcut, even once, automatically that midat ha-emet collapses like a tower. Meaning that in order to have this midat ha'emet, it has to literally be the driving force behind everything that you do. Sometimes you're gonna see people do teshuva and it looks like they're strong. It looks like all of a sudden they're zealous for Hashem. You see them, you figure, wow, this is Pinchas. You see how you like, this is the Pinchas version. Female version of Pinchas. You see them, they're so zealous for Hashem. Wow, amazing. But then one day, suddenly you see everything start to deflate out of nowhere. And when you start investigating, you see what happened. You're always going to see something. It happens constantly.

58:17They were zealous. They were passionate. They were on fire. Until something hit a nerve. Until it got home. They're all about keeping Shabbat. Why? Because they were keeping Shabbat. They're all about tzedakah, because they give tzedakah. They're all about, you know, all generosity, because they like to be generous. They're all about, you know, beit knesset, because they go to beit knesset. They like beit knesset. They build a beit knesset. About all these different things, one day the rabbi mentioned an issue about a woman who is not modest. She makes the public sin, and there's no way that those people who sin because of her are going to be able to be in Gehenom and she's not going to be with them. There's no way that HaKadosh Baruch Hu is gonna put all those poor people that looked at her and made sins and now are in Gehenom, rotting in fire, and she's gonna be in Gan Eden, sitting over there relaxing. No way. The Rabbi says this to him and says, "Huh? This is how you talk about me? Wait a minute, but you are a Pinchas. You are a Tzaddik. You said everything is good. You like the Rabbi, you like Shabbat, that's good. Oh, now you crossed the line, Rabbi. Now you crossed the line. Why? It hit home."

59:40Same thing happens with guys. Shabbat they like, tzedakah they like, this they like, that they like, everything they like, they like, they like, they like, they like. One day they go, huh? What? Wasting seed? Okay, okay. Whoa, five seconds into the shiur, they almost get Malach HaMavet to show up at their house. They're so scared. All of a sudden, they don't answer the rabbi's phone calls. All of a sudden, the emails are unanswered. All of a sudden, they don't want to invite him to the community anymore. All of a sudden, even a text message, they won't return. Not even a chag sameach. Nothing. Why? Ah, you said I'm a sinner. I didn't say you're a sinner. Hashem said you're a sinner. But about what? No, you're crazy. You're saying wasting seed is the biggest sin in the Torah. What are you talking about? I keep Shabbat. I give tzedakah. You know how many mitzvot I do? Good for you to do a lot of mitzvot. But if you waste seed, all those mitzvot will go in the garbage. I didn't say that. Hashem said it. No, no, no. You're too stringent for me. Ah, it hit home. It hit home. Everything you were doing good, you felt powerful.

1:00:47The second it hit home, the second you heard your own personal mussar, the second you heard something that affects you, all of a sudden the whole thing deflates into nothing. Why? Because at the moment of truth, the midat ha'emet that the person had was really non-existent. He only had the emet as long as he didn't have to push himself too far. She only liked the truth as long as the truth didn't affect her that much. As long as you didn't tell her what to do, she would listen to whatever you say. Just don't tell her what to do. Whatever you say, she'll do. Just don't tell her anything, though. She agrees with everything you say, as long as it doesn't apply to her. Imagine, you have an employee who comes to you and says, "Hey, boss, how much are you going to pay me?" You tell him this and that. "No problem. Listen, boss, I'll do whatever you want. Just don't tell me anything, though." Anything you want me to do, I'll do. Just don't say anything, though. That's the condition. What kind of employee is this? A woman says, "Listen, I'll marry you. Just don't tell me what to do. So if I don't feel like coming home for two weeks, don't say anything. If I feel like having a boyfriend or two, you better not say a word. Are you ready to get married or no? I'll even smile for the camera." No. No.

1:02:14Sometimes we act like this to Hakadosh Baruch Hu. We say, "Hakadosh Baruch Hu, we love You. We'll do anything You say, just don't say anything to me. Nobody in the world loves You like me. I love You, Hakadosh Baruch Hu, more than You love Yourself. Just don't tell me anything. I love Your entire Torah as long as it doesn't apply to me." I'll publicize your Torah in every single Beit Knesset, just not my house. I'll make sure everybody else fulfills their Torah except me. Baruch Ata Hashem, Elokeinu Melech Ha'Olam, except me. You're Melech Ha'Olam, you're the King of the world, except me. That's us. Why? Because the Midat Ha'Emet, rabotai ikarim, is the most difficult one you have. Because if you want to be someone that's amiti, someone that's real, someone that has midat ha'emet, it has to always be on fire. There's no neutral with emet. There's no "let me pass through," "let this go by," "I'll close my eyes," pretend like it's not happening. Everything has to have a strategy of how to deal with it. Now,

1:03:40If a person wants to implement such a midah, they also have to prepare to go to war. Because the Satan doesn't like that midah so much. So, he will constantly put a challenge in front of you, put an obstacle in front of you. And he'll do everything possible to break you. Because this is something that if you can implement this one particular character trait, You could literally have the ability to fulfill the entire Torah almost with ease. You could literally get to a point where Hashem says and you do. Why? Not because you agree with it, not because you understand it, not even because you can rationalize your way into it. Simply because you know that you are the servant. He is the Master. That's your role. That's it. That's what you're in the world to do. You're in the world to fulfill His role. So if today's job is to get a ticket, okay, so we'll get a ticket today. If today's job is to work really extra hard, but then at the end, everything you worked for gets deleted, okay, so today that's my job: to work really, really hard for nothing to work out.

1:05:06Today's job is to look at the book for three and a half hours, but understand absolutely nothing. That's your job today. Perfect. You did your job. Perfect. Yeah, but I didn't feel any good about it. Who said you have to feel good? Where does it say that HaKadosh Baruch Hu promises you you're gonna feel good? When a person understands his role or her role in the world, everything changes. But it's not easy. Now, the Gemara in Masechet Berachot says that if a person has a safek, he's about to, he wants to eat something, but he doesn't really know what it is. Meaning he doesn't know what blessing it is. Not because he doesn't study. If he doesn't study, he shouldn't be allowed to eat either. The Gemara in Masechet Pesachim says someone who doesn't learn Torah should not be allowed to eat meat. Why? The cow is better than him. The cow is fulfilling the will of Hashem. He's not. The cow is better than him. He has no right to kill the cow. He has no right to kill the cow. The cow is doing the will of Hashem. If you're not learning Torah, you're not fulfilling the will of Hashem. But if you are fulfilling the will of Hashem, you're allowed to eat the cow as long as it's kosher. As long as it's kosher, you're allowed to eat it. Now,

1:06:32What if there's something you want to eat, but you forgot the bracha? Or better yet, you're not really sure if this is it. Like, you know, sometimes there's cereal, there's cereal that's mezonot, and sometimes it's she'hakol. Now, you don't have internet. You're in some place, there's no internet access. You don't have your sefarim, and you're not really sure what this is. Now, you're starving. What do you do? The Gemara says, you should say she'hakol. If he says she'hakol, he's fulfilled his obligation. Yeah, what if it's mezonot? Okay, it's mezonot, but you still fulfilled your obligation with the blessing of she'hakol. long as he at least says the blessing of she'hakol, he's fulfilled his obligation. Not that you should do it by default. Everything you see is she'hakol: the bread is she'hakol, pizza is she'hakol, you know, she'hakol, Michael, she'hakol, everything is she'hakol now. Meaning, you have to learn, you have to learn what's what. She'hakol is not, but let's say you've gotten into some type of bump, you forgot, you're not really sure whether it's she'hakol or something else. Okay, you could say she'hakol.

1:07:44so the um say this is a lesson we should also apply to our life. When a person doesn't know what's going on in their life, all of a sudden their stock account that they used to be proud of, they're embarrassed to even mention because it went down so much. Their house that looks so beautiful is in foreclosure. The car that everyone's been complimenting, it's about to be repossessed in two weeks. The wife that everybody comes and says, "Wow, you're such a lucky guy," is about to leave him. A husband that everybody says, "Wow, you have a really special husband," has some type of disease. The kids that look so cute, they've been failing every single class. She doesn't know what is going on in her life. He doesn't know what's going on in his life. You have no idea why everything seems to be going wrong. What does it mean? Everything is from Him. Everything is from Him, including my problems. Everything is from Him.

1:09:11You have problems, it's Him. You have good things, it's Him. Everything is from Hashem. Now, we still have to answer the question. In the story of Rabbi Yishmael ben Elisha, Rabbi Yishmael ben Elisha was Kodesh Kodashim. He was living in our world today. We would simply think he's a malach. We wouldn't think he's a human being. He was so beautiful. It's something that's beyond our imagination. The most beautiful person on earth today looks like a monkey with hair on his face or her face next to him. That's how beautiful he was, and I'm just talking about physically. When we talk about his neshama and Torah that he possessed, he might as well be a Malach Hashem. Now, this Malach Hashem, this Kodesh Kodashim, this Rabbi—it's in the Torah, mentioned by name, meaning that he was able to revive the dead with his kedusha—suffers a horrible, horrific death that we don't even want our enemies to suffer. The goyim literally peel his skin inch by inch, from his face all the way to his toes.

1:10:41And he doesn't say a peep, not an "ow," not an "ouch," not a nothing, until they get to the place of his tefillin. Because he realizes that he cannot fulfill the mitzvah of tefillin anymore. And he screams at the top of his lungs. And instead, what we would think would happen is that Hashem would simply take his neshama and just relieve him of his disaster. What does Hashem do? Hashem rebukes him! Hashem rebukes him. What does Hashem say to him? Hashem says to Rabbi Yishmael, Rabbi Yishmael, if you scream one more time, I'm going to destroy this world and bring it back to Tohu Vavohu. The malachei ha-sharet come crying to HaKadosh Baruch Hu, and the Gemara in Masechet Chagigah says, what does it mean when malachim cry? What does it mean when malachim cry? Anybody here ever see on the horizon there's red? You ever see the horizon and the sun becomes red? You know what that is? That's a reflection of Gehinom. That's what it is. When you see red on the horizon, that means that the sun is getting closer and closer to Gehinom.

1:12:07Why? Why is Gehinom red? That's the tears of fire, the tears and sweat of fire of the angels. The Gemara in Masechet Chagigah says the angels that are really close to HaKadosh Baruch Hu, they're so scared of HaKadosh Baruch Hu that they sweat fire. And that's what fills up Gehinom. These angels come to HaKadosh Baruch Hu. It's HaKadosh Baruch Hu. This is Torah and this is its reward. You're killing Rabbi Yishmael. Hashem says to them and rebukes them too. He says, you say one more word. You ask me one more question. I'm going to destroy the world and bring it back to Tohu Vavohu. So now we have this question again. The question Rabbi Shlomo Kluger asked many years ago, but also answered. He says, what, is Hashem really threatening? Hashem is not a gangster. Hashem doesn't need to ask anybody for permission. If He wants to destroy the world, He doesn't ask you for permission. If He knows you can withstand the test, He doesn't need to ask you. He knows. So what is Hashem really teaching us here? Rav Shlomo Kluger gives an analogy.

1:13:32There was once a king who wanted to make a suit that nobody else in the world had. So, he obtained a special type of gold that was very, very soft, enabling it to be adjusted. He had specialists turn it into little wires and threads and He got all of these gold wires, and he gave them to the best tailor in the world. He told him, "Listen, I want you to make me a suit—a suit made of gold. But not a suit where I look like a robot, and I can't move; it's all boxy. I want it to feel like a suit—soft, but from gold. So, I need the best tailor in the world to do it." The tailor says, "Your wish is my command, no problem." And he said, "I just need a lot of time to do it." The king replied, "You have as much time as you want." He starts working on it and working on it and working on it. Six months later, he's not finished with the job, but the king wants to see what's going on. He comes to the tailor, and he sees that half the suit is made already, and it's something unbelievable. But he still has a question in the back of his mind—maybe he took a little gold for himself.

1:14:55Tell the tailor, "You know, word on the street is you took some gold for yourself. What do you have to defend yourself?" So, the tailor tells him, "Your Highness, the truth is, there's nothing I can tell you that will defend me. I can't prove to you I didn't steal. But do you remember..." Do you remember how many wires you gave me? He said, yeah. He says, do you remember exactly the size of the wires? He said, yeah. He says, do you remember the exact weight of all those wires of gold? He said, yeah. He said, do you remember the carats too? He said, absolutely. He says, well, you have two options. One, you could simply weigh all the gold and see that it's the same weight that you gave me. But if you want to see exactly that I didn't take even a grain of gold that you gave me, I'll have to take the entire suit apart and show you that every single strand that you gave me is here. HaKadosh Baruch Hu tells Rabbi Yishmael. HaKadosh Baruch Hu tells the angels. HaKadosh Baruch Hu tells us.

1:16:19In order for me to show you what I'm doing and that it makes sense, I can do it, but I'll have to take apart the entire world and bring it back all the way to its beginning to show you every single thing that's ever happened that led to this point. And every single thing that will happen at the end of the world, that will happen as a result of this point. So yes, I can show you why I'm doing this. But I'll have to destroy the world doing that. Or you can just trust me and see that everything is there. See that, in the end, everybody else was okay in the end. This is a learning lesson for us. When you have all of the problems in the world simply taking your life by storm, you're confused about why you failed a test, you're confused why you can't find a shidduch, you're confused why Hashem took a bunch of money from you, you're confused why the doctor called you with an unusual cryptic message telling you that you have to show up, you know, by tomorrow.

1:17:38You're confused why you're sick. You're confused why your husband didn't say, "I love you" this morning. You're confused why your kids forgot how to spell "Ima." You're confused about a bunch of stuff that's going on in your life. You're confused. HaKadosh Baruch Hu is telling us, "I can show you why everything is happening, but I'll have to take your entire life apart and bring you up to Shamayim first. Or you can just trust Me and keep moving forward." Discipline is one of the most valuable lessons that a person can learn in this world. We're all going to have problems. We're all going to have obstacles. We're all going to have different types of difficulties—all of us. The older you are, the more mountains you would have had to climb in order to survive. You're never going to see an old man saying, "I had an easy life." Nobody does. The only people that say they have an easy life are six-year-olds. They haven't hit life yet.

1:18:39Old people will tell you, "I had to climb mountains to arrive at where I am." Now, a person needs to understand that if you want to attain something valuable, you want to attain something good in life, you're going to have to work really hard for it. But that means you have to overcome a lot of obstacles. Now, the obstacles in this world, everyone understands. Everyone understands that if you want to make money, you have to work hard usually. If you want to find a good spouse, you also have to work hard. You want to keep that spouse? You have to work hard. Everything you have that's good, you have to work hard for. Everyone understands it. But for some reason, everyone has a hard time understanding that Gan Eden, you also have to work hard for. For some reason, people think Gan Eden is given for free. It's for a discount. You could just do whatever you want in this world, but you still get to Gan Eden. Moshe Rabbeinu was spitting blood for 40 years, but you can go there for discounts. It's time we apply the same logic we apply to business, to marriage, to life in general, also to the Torah. It's not easy. It's not easy. It's not supposed to be easy to earn Gan Eden. But it can be easier. Easier if we understand why we're doing all of it.

1:20:07Why you're not going to dress immodestly. Why you're not going to drive on Shabbat. Why you're going to keep kosher. Why this and why that. If you understand why you're doing all of it, it does become easier. It doesn't become easy, just simply becomes easier. When you understand that your problems will exist with or without the Torah, you already understand that they both have a common... Source. The problems come whether you're religious or not. The only difference is, when you're religious, you also have a solution. When you're not, you don't have a solution to your problems. The key is to understand that HaKadosh Baruch Hu gave us an instruction set to follow. If we follow it carefully, our lives become much, much easier than they are right now. If your life is difficult, that simply means that there are certain parts of the instructions that you're not following carefully enough. It's time to adjust. It's time to fix. Sometimes HaKadosh Baruch Hu will give you a test. Sometimes HaKadosh Baruch Hu will give you such a test that you're going to want to quit. Now, we're going to finish off with a very, very important story about the climatic point of everyone's test. Every one of us, at one point, wanted to quit. It was something that we were doing that was really meaningful, whether it was keeping Torah and Mitzvot, or a marriage, or a job, or some type of race of some kind. Whatever it is, all of us have had points in our life. We wanted to give up; some of us gave up, some of us didn't, and...

1:21:33climactic point of everyone’s test. Every one of us, at one point, wanted to quit. It was something that we were doing that was really meaningful, whether it was keeping Torah and Mitzvot, or a marriage, or a job, or some type of race of some kind. Whatever it is, all of us have had points in our life where we wanted to give up; some of us gave up, some of us didn’t, and Avraham Avinu had a point where, by all rational perspectives, he had all the reasons in the world to give up. He had a situation where his nephew was kidnapped by really powerful kings and that destroyed a bunch of other powerful kings. Meaning, if you weren't sure that they were really powerful, it was confirmed they were really powerful after they destroyed a bunch of other powerful kings. And he himself didn't have any kingship, any kingdom, or anything, but he decided that he's going to go to war with them with 318 soldiers.

1:22:53The Chachamim say, Rashi over there says 318 really is Gematria for Eliezer. Eliezer, the word Eliezer, is 318. But the Peshat really means it's 318 soldiers. The Chachamim say, wait a minute, whether it's Eliezer or it's 318 soldiers, still, what's the 318 all about? Why 318? Why not 320? Why not 400? Nice round number. Why not 5,000? Like, why 318 out of all numbers in the world? There's no way that 318 is just some random number. So Chazon Ish had a guy one time. Cut to him. And tell him that he's giving up. Why is he giving up? He survived the Holocaust, but the rest of his family died. The rest of his family was killed in cold blood. And he just really gave up on life. He has no point to live. He's waiting to die. Can't blame the guy. He saw his wife and kids get murdered in cold blood by these evil Nazis.

1:24:20Can't tell him he's wrong unless you're the Chazon Ish and you give him proof in the Torah that he's wrong. So the Chazon Ish says you're not allowed to give up. Why am I not allowed to give up? Because you're not allowed to give up. Why am I not allowed to give up? He says that... Giving up is something that will be the opposite of what Avraham Avinu did. Avraham Avinu went with 318 soldiers because 318 is one more than 317. 317 spells the word Ye'ush. Ye'ush means give up. So one more than giving up is 318. What is this like? There was one time a businessman told his wife, "Listen, honey. Here's the money from me, my money, and a bunch of money from all of my customers. Go to the terminal where they were doing all the trade and take all this money and pay for the shipment that we just got in." That's how they used to make money; they used to do one deal a year to pay for the whole year. So she took a bunch of money...

1:25:41That's her husband's money and all of his customers' money. And she went to the terminal over there to go pay for this shipment. By the time she arrived at the place, looking, looking, the money's gone. The money's gone. She doesn't know what to do. She has no idea what to do. She's like, if I tell my husband, he's going to kill me. What am I gonna do? Poor lady's crying hysterically. She cried so much she passed out. They woke her up. She passed out again. They woke her up. She passed out again. They woke her up. She passed out again and it got to a point where it was pikuach nefesh. Somebody passes out three times in a row, it's a life risk. Chazon Ish says they took her to one of the chachamim of the generation.

1:26:41And he says to her, not to worry. Just make a poster, put it in the area, and say, whoever found this bag full of money, come see the rabbi, Rabbi Yitzchak Elchanan. middle of the night, somebody knocks at the rabbi's house. He opens the door; he sees an average Jew. He doesn't look too good. He's not wearing a three-piece suit and doesn't look very rich. He says, "Yeah, hi, Kevod HaRav. Listen, I saw the poster, and I found the money. But I learned a little bit of Torah. And I know the halakha is, when it comes to Hashavat Aveidah, when it comes to finding lost items, if you live in a city where the majority of the population is goyim, you don't have to return something that's lost. Why? Because most likely it belongs to one of the goyim if it doesn't have identification.

1:28:01There's no license name on it. You don't have a picture of it with the right indications of who actually owns this thing. I don't have to return that; I could just simply assume that it belongs to one of the goyim, and I don't have an obligation to return it to the goyim. Now, he says, "I have no money in the bank, no food in the fridge, and no hope of getting food or money, and I have nine kids to feed." I have nine kids to feed. So unless you can show me a source in the Torah that I have to return this money, I'm gonna keep it. The Rabbi says there is a source in the Torah that you have to return it. So what's the source? He says that halacha you mentioned. You don't have to return it only if the Ba'al HaBayit, if the owner of the money, gave up on it. You don't have to return it if he's not looking for it anymore. If he's not looking for it anymore, you have no obligation to return it to him anymore. He says, right. He says, who's the Ba'al HaBayit of the money? The wife or the husband? The husband.

1:29:11He says, well, when the husband signs the Ketubah, he takes ownership. Everything that belongs to the wife belongs to the husband. So, in essence, the husband is really the Ba'al HaBayit. He says, exactly. Since the husband is the Ba'al HaBayit, he's the Ba'al HaBayit of the money. The husband doesn't know that the money is lost at this point, so surely he didn't give up on the money. You have an obligation to return the money because he never gave up. He never gave up on the money. Why do you have to return it? Because the Ba'al HaBayit didn't give up. The woman gave up on the money; she is panicking, losing her mind. She gave up on it. She's hysterical. But she's not the Ba'al HaBayit. The Chazon Ish says to the person who was so sad because of all the disasters that happened to him, "You have no right to lose hope. You're not the Ba'al HaBayit." You're not the Ba'al HaBayit of your own life. You have no right to give up on your own life. HaKadosh Baruch Hu is the Ba'al HaBayit of your life. The reason why Avraham Avinu sent 318 soldiers to go fight is because he wanted to show that we have no right to give up. Ye'ush is 317.

1:30:35Avraham Avinu sent one more than 317. Giving up is 317. That's the value of the word "ye'ush." Avraham wanted to show that my effort, my effort is just one more, one more than giving up. So despite all of the problems that we have, despite all of the problems that we've had, and despite all of the problems that we will have in the future, we have no right whatsoever to ever give up. How do you do it? How do you not give up? Listen to the first hour and a half of this shiur again. Understand that HaKadosh Baruch Hu is the one that gave you the problem. He's also the one that can give you a solution. Sometimes the solution is pretty easy, and He can give it to you a week after the problem, a minute after the problem, a day after the problem, or even five years after the problem. But sometimes the problem that you have in your life is so extraordinary that there's no way that He can give you the solution to it or show you why He's doing it while you're still alive. Because in order to do that, He'd literally have to destroy the whole world.

1:31:45They'll have to show you everything that happened before you came to this world and everything that will happen after you're in this world. Sometimes we have such extraordinary issues that happen in our life that they're so unusual. You have no idea. Why did Hashem take this five-year-old kid? What did he do? Why did Hashem take this tzaddekes that's only 60 years old? Why did Hashem take this rabbi? Why did Hashem take this or that? Some things we can't explain. Don't ask why, because sometimes the answer is Hashem says a lot of things happen before and a lot of things are going to happen after as a result of this. This is part of My grand plan. The only way that you could know it is if I destroy the whole world, if I could show you the whole thing. Do you really want Him to destroy the whole world? No one wants to destroy the world as long as they're normal and... meaning that no one wants Hashem to get us back to the start. We want to continue moving forward. So, what do we do? We have to have faith in HaKadosh Baruch Hu, that He knows what He's doing, that He's not shortchanging us, that He obviously has a plan for all of us, even though sometimes it doesn't make sense to us. We're the servants, He is the Master. As long as we remember that, Rabotai HaYekarim, our life makes a whole lot more sense.

1:33:09Problems are much easier to deal with, even though sometimes the problems that you have seem like they weigh a ton. I promise you, you'll see a better day. These are some of the things that you have to remind yourself of regularly. This is one of those shiurim you want to listen to parts of, or the whole thing, over and over again, just simply to remind yourself that there's somebody behind the wheel because If you don't remind yourself of such things, if you don't get chizuk constantly on these things, it's very easy to get depressed in the world. Waking up in the morning sometimes is depressing because of so many problems people have. If I show you the problems that people send me every single day, you're going to feel a million times better about your life. I don't even know, I don't care what your life is. Now I know pretty much almost all of you here. I know a little bit about every one of your lives, and I promise you, you have the best life I know. If I showed you any one of the people that send me 150 messages a day, you're going to say, "What a great life. I'm already in Gan Eden. Hashem, no need for Gan Eden. I'm already here."

1:34:17I'm already here, Hashem, no need for Gan Eden. Wait a minute, why no Gan Eden? Yesterday you were crying to me, "Please Hashem, take me." No, no, Hashem, I was just kidding. I was just kidding, Hashem, I was just kidding. I'm already in Gan Eden, Hashem. I just saw your own Reuven's text message, I'm already in Gan Eden, Hashem, I'm already in Gan Eden. I'm already in Gan Eden. I'll show you the text message, how many people are crying, what problems they have every day. Hashem Yerachem, Hashem Yerachem. I tell you, it's one of the biggest gifts, to help people. One of the biggest gifts because on one hand you could try to help people. According to the Torah, you follow, you tell people to follow advice, follow what is said; it's fantastic. On the other hand, it also shows you what kind of life you have despite all your problems. There's always worse. There's always worse. You see the problems people have, the amount of suffering people go through. And it's not even a matter of how big it is. It's how far they think they are from the Promised Land. Sometimes the problem is small. Sometimes the problem itself is small, but in their mind, it's enormous. The guy's 22, 23 years old, and he feels alone. He was suicidal. Why? He can't find a shidduch. He thinks finding a shidduch is like, it's never going to happen. He's giving up. He doesn't realize he's only 22 years old.

1:35:37He doesn't realize it's not a big deal. Okay, you're 22, you're a little puppy still. What, did you stop wearing diapers last year? What's the big deal? No, but in his mind, you can't say that. In his mind, he feels like he's 92, about to hit 100 next week. It's the end of his life. In his mind, it's huge. In his mind, it's the biggest problem in the world. He's ready to give up. So you have to treat it accordingly. Same thing with people that are older, same thing with people that are younger. It's not necessarily that everybody has much bigger problems. It's that you see that whatever problem they have is only measured based on the amount of emunah and bitachon that they have. The less emunah and bitachon, the bigger the problem is in their eyes. If they have no emunah and bitachon, a little mouse running in their house collecting a few pieces of cheese once in a while is like Gog u'Magog. Why is he doing this to me? I don't understand. I paid a million and a half dollars for this house. Why is the mouse here? Why didn't he go to the next-door neighbor? She's a resha'it anyway. He thinks a little mouse is Gog u'Magog in his house. Why? Because he has no emunah, nothing. He doesn't realize the mouse has to eat also. So today he's eating in your house. If you were Rabbi Pinchas ben Yair, maybe you wouldn't have a mouse. Or at least you could get him to come to you without eating your cheese.

1:37:07But the point is, rabotai, is that it's all based on emunah and bitachon. If a person understands that there is a Master behind all of our problems, there's a Kadosh Baruch Hu that loves us, but also one that judges us, also one that rebukes us, also one that could potentially punish us. If a person understands all of these different things, life becomes easier. Not easy, but easier. Because you know what's going on. You at least understand the rules to the game. You can understand how to navigate. Okay, today it's my turn now. Okay, next week it's his turn. Next week it's her turn. And so on and so forth. You understand the rules of the game at least. But if you simply don't follow anything, you just wing it every day, Your whole life is going to be one big mess. As soon as something doesn't work according to your plan, you could easily fall into major depression, start crying in the middle of the street, in the middle of the day, in the office. Everyone's really serious except one girl. She's crying, but nobody knows why. Did somebody die? No. Did your boyfriend break up with you? No.

1:38:20Your mom yells, "Do you know why you're crying in the middle of the day, at three o'clock in the afternoon? You're 26 years old. What's wrong with you?" I don't know, but I’m crying. Sometimes people cry for no reason because they're depressed. They have no idea what's going on. This happens. I see this. I used to have an office, and people just cried for no reason because they had no clue what was going on. If you follow HaKadosh Baruch Hu, you at least know the rules. You'll know the rules. You'll understand what's going on. You won't lose it. You won't lose it. This is the gift. When they say life is a gift, this is that gift. It's only a gift if you know it's a gift. It's only a gift if you know the rules. If you don't know the rules, it's not a gift to climb mountains. It's actually really hard. It's not a gift to go sightseeing. It's a gift to know the rules of life so you can actually know how to enjoy it. You too, Baruch Hashem, just started a marriage. You started something that is bigger than you. If you know the rules to the marriage from day one, and you both play by the same rules, your entire life is going to be full of one blessing after another, bigger than any blessing you can possibly imagine, better than any marriage you even know of, because simply you're both on the same page.

1:39:46And that's what I wish for you. To know the rules. To follow them. And to always have the same ones. Be'ezrat Hashem, all of us will have the same rules as our spouses. All of us will teach each other the same rules. All of us will play by those rules. And thank HaKadosh Baruch Hu for those rules. Because it's those rules that save us from Gehenom. But not only that, they make us live a life that really is more like Gan Eden. We just don't realize it. Thank you very much for listening to me, tolerating me, and laughing with me a little bit. Baruch Adonai le'olam. Amen ve'amen.