Wasting Seed to Tikkun HaBrit: How Can A Single Guy Fix His Brit (9 Minutes) by Rabbi Yaron Reuven

1:43You wash your eyes from looking at other women, and you're bringing challenge into your life. Even if you want to stop doing it yourself, it may still come to you at night. What you have to do is start looking at the ground. You can't walk around looking at everything like, you know, one of those bobbleheads that you buy at baseball games. You have to start watching your eyes. Don't worry, if you make a mistake, it's part of the process. Let's see how well you can do with the effort you put in. Satan doesn't want to see you online. Doing teshuva for something like this, this is something that could save a lot of people. Doing teshuva, you have to first start with watching your eyes. Second of all, you have to start practicing not touching at all. Limit it as much as you can. I know, normally, it's tough for a guy and so on,

2:44You have to do whatever you can. Whatever you can. Especially if you're single. If you're married, baruch Hashem, you have your wife. If you're single, if there was a way to not go to the bathroom, I tell you, don't go to the bathroom. Because when you're single, it's almost impossible. The third thing is, if you're single, you have to find yourself a wife. Stop being one of these losers that's 40 years old and still looking for the perfect woman. Find a wife, be a normal person, and don't worry about it. You'll develop love over time. I'm serious. There are a bunch of guys that I went to school with. They're in their 40s and 45. They're still looking for the perfect one. What are they looking for, in clubs? No, I couldn't find the perfect one. I thought I had it. When? 20 years ago. Okay, what about now? You're 45 years old. What are you waiting for? Find a woman, settle down, get a wife. That's it. She doesn't have to be, you know, the number one person on earth. Just find somebody, settle down. You'll develop love over time. If you two have something in common, if you can tolerate each other, if you can have a connection, have chemistry, that's it. She doesn’t need to be Marilyn Monroe or anyone like that. Just normal people building a family, building a future. Just have something in common.

4:09It doesn't require this Shidduch crisis that we have today. It's all because we can't guard our eyes. The men can't stop looking at immodest women, so they think that the tzaddeket who just came from Beit Yaakov is supposed to look like the prostitute he saw in the mall. Unfortunately, some women are very materialistic and... Why? Because they watch TV and look at these magazines. They see that all these celebrities have this and that, so the guy's chasing money to keep up with the girl's expectations, and they both drive each other crazy. There shouldn't be a shidduch crisis. There's plenty of men, there's plenty of women. Every single day, I have someone asking me if I have a shidduch for them. How could it be? There are guys who want a shidduch, and there are girls who want a shidduch. What, you can't meet each other? What's the problem? Find yourself a wife. If it's not because of anything else, it's to stop this sin. Stop this sin. I'm telling you, it's such a horrendous sin. I have a lot of health problems. Anyone that wants to know my personal story, you can watch last night's shiur. It's online. B'ezrat Hashem, it will be online tonight. I know suffering. One thing I understand is suffering. I have had many, many years of suffering.

5:30pain and screaming and surgeries and pills. All types of wonderful suffering. Baruch Hashem. I know what suffering is. I'm an expert in suffering. You want to know again? It looks like I could tell you. In this world, not the other one. I know what it looks like. I know what suffering is. You don't want it. You don't want suffering. It's a nightmare. You have to get yourself a wife. That's number two. If you don't have a wife, find one. Work on it, work on it. Aside from learning Torah, it must become a top priority. Number three, as the Rambam says, the only type of people who waste seed and spend their time on this are those who are empty-minded. They lack chokhmah (wisdom) and have nothing in their heads, so they are bored to death. Boredom leads to sin, as Shlomo HaMelech (King Solomon) taught us. Can't be bored. Can't find yourself bored. What do you have to do? You have to go learn Torah. Stop being a batlan, doing nothing with your life. Watching sports is boredom. Watching television is boredom. You can watch TV for nine hours and not even realize nine hours passed because your neshama went to sleep. Your body is just dead. Nothing happens. Whether the guy died or he lived, whether the team won or not, it doesn't affect your life. You're just wasting your life.

6:54You have to spend time developing your neshama, developing your brain. The Ari HaKadosh says that if you want to rectify all the seed that you wasted, you have to sweat for mitzvot. Each drop of sweat that comes out of your body due to a mitzvah is fixing one drop of seed that came out of your body. So, in Simchat Torah, You should be the guy that runs around and sweats his eyes out with the Torah, celebrating for the mitzvah. You're supposed to be happy. Run around, have a good time. If it's hard in the kollel, you should study even more. If it's hard in yeshiva, study more. Sweat doing a mitzvah. Literally sweat. Because each one of them is mamash helping you out. Most important thing is you have to learn difficult Torah. Learning nice sipurei tzadikim, listening to a nice story, yeah, it's fine, it's good, it's not bad. But for this sin, you have to choose your suffering. There's two types of suffering as far as this teshuva. It's either suffering by your choice or suffering that's not your choice. So it's either you force yourself to learn difficult Gemara and pretty much...

8:23to the point of ripping your hair out of your head, and struggling at 1:30 in the morning. Instead of going and getting 8 hours of sleep, you only got 5 because you struggled to learn some Torah; or Hashem is going to give you different suffering. You don't want that suffering. You have to struggle. That's what Amal B'Torah is. The Ohr HaChaim, one of his 42 pirushim, says, Amal B'Torah means Amal B'Torah. Means difficult Torah, learn Torah. It's difficult, it's not easy. The Midrashim, it's nice. Sippurei Tzaddikim is nice. A little tape here, a little CD there, it's all nice. But if it's easy for you, it's not going to fix the sin. It's good for Torah, but not enough if you have the sin like pretty much every single person that's alive today.