What Did The Chatam Sofer Ztl Say About Leniency?

0:14Regarding Selichot, page 48. He says in Sefer Devarim, the book of Deuteronomy, it says in Chapter 29, Verse 17. It says, long verse. Chapter 29, verse 17. It says, "Perhaps there is among you a man, or a woman, or a family, or a tribe, whose heart turns away today from being with Hashem, our God, to go and serve the gods of those nations. Perhaps there is among you a root flourishing with gall and wormwood." So the Chatam Sofer says, why is the Torah...

1:15says, "Perhaps there is among you a man, or a woman, or a family, or a tribe, whose heart turns away today from being with Hashem, our God, to go and serve the gods of those nations. Perhaps there is among you a root flourishing with gall and wormwood." So the Chatam Sofer says, why is the Torah... lengthening this sentence so much. I mean, it's three lines. Why not just get to the bottom line and say, is there anyone among you worshipping idols? Because we need some shish kebab on the barbecue in the Beit HaMikdash. We'll put you there if you want. Anyone of you worshipping idols, Yeshu, Buddha, something, anyone of you? Hatam Sofer asks. It's a legitimate question. What's the whole thing? It's one of you, or somebody's family, or somebody's father, or mother, or tribe, or this, or that. Just say, anyone worshipping idols. Tachlis, bottom line. Get to the bottom line. What's the extra?

2:25Hatam Sofer says because the reality of the questions being asked right now is not about idolatry. It's about the process of idolatry. How do you get to idolatry? Hatam Sofer says Are you involved with any simple leniencies that will eventually lead you to become an idol worshiper? Where a person says, "This mitzvah, it's not a big deal. I don't have to do it 100%. I can be lenient on this one. That one, I can be lenient on that one." A guy's daughter comes to him and she says to him, "Abba, can I go to the mall?" Well, my friends, no, Tzadikah, you know we don't go to the mall. First of all, that mall operates on Shabbat. Everyone's a Mechalel Shabbat over there. And second of all, the whole mall is full of places selling immodest clothing and pritzut and so on. That's not for Tzadikim. Oh, Abba, Abba, all my friends are going. Honey, you can't go to the mall. It's not for us. Come on, you stay at the house. You know, help Ima a little bit. It's not for us to go to the mall. I mean, that's not, come on.

3:47No, Abba, what am I going to do all day? All my friends are going. No. Abba. Okay, okay, okay. You know what? Go quickly. Come back quickly. Okay, Abba. Thank you. I love you. What's that? Small leniency. Small leniency. Why? He didn't want to get annoyed. He didn't want to get annoyed by his daughter. Okay, go. To someone that's not really... you're supposed to go. It's not that big of a deal, okay? Her friends are going. Her friends are going after her. She's not going by herself. She's not going by herself. She's not going dafka to eat non-kosher. She's not going dafka to buy not modest clothes. She's going with her friends to, I don't know, get a coffee or something from the kosher place. What's the big deal? Why do we need to see? Rabbi, So, Chatam Sofer says, Rabbi, everyone's doing it. What can I do? He says, what can I do? Chatam Sofer says, what can I do? Everyone's doing it. Wait, blame me? Everyone's doing it. This leniency, it's not such a big deal. Chatam Sofer says, he says, those types of leniencies where in reality you know it's not the right thing to do. It's allowed. Allowed.

5:08But you're not really supposed to do it. You're allowed to go. You're not really supposed to go though. You know it. That's the best thing. Allowed to eat. But you really shouldn't. Allowed to go. But you really shouldn't. Why? It's not for you. Why? You're a tzadik. Trying to be a tzadik. You shouldn't be a tzadik. You want to go to Gan Eden. allowed, but you shouldn't do it. He says those types of leniencies are what's going to get the person to eventually fall when the real test shows up, and he doesn't have any defense system. Why? He doesn't even limit the allowed. Needless to say that when the not-allowed comes, he has no defense system. When the not-allowed comes, she doesn't know how to defend herself. She doesn't know how to defend herself, and guess what? Eventually, they follow the Yetzer Hara everywhere, and like the Gemara Masechet Shabbat says, they worship an idol. Why? If you want to be an ish kasher, you have to even restrict the allowed. Why? That's what it takes.

6:18Because when you do such a thing, you say to your daughter, "Honey, you can go to the place that's not exactly for religious people." Don't be surprised if one day she says, "Abba, I want you to meet my friend." "Who's your friend? She goes to your school?" "No, it's not a she, Abba." "What? What do you mean it's not a she?" "No, it says Jimmy. Jimmy, come out!" Who's Jimmy? What is this drawing on his face? No, it's not a drawing, Abba. It's a tattoo. Isn't he nice? Isn't he artistic? Who's this Jimmy? Who's this Jimmy? Who are you, Jimmy? No, no, no. Hi, sir. Hi, sir. Hi, sir. Mister. I'm not a mister. I'm a rabbi. Hi, Rabbi mister. Hi, mister rabbi. Who's your father? I don't know him. I don't know him. What yeshiva did you go to? I don't work in the yeshiva. What is that? Is that a food? No, school. Oh no, no, I dropped out. I got a GED, Mr. Rabbi, sir. What? Why do you keep calling me Rabbi, sir? Are you Jewish? No. Why, do I have to be Jewish? Hashem yishmor v'yatzil.

7:43Where did you meet my daughter? Oh, no, she one day came to the mall and I was selling, you know, jewelry for, there was a good deal, $5. Oh, I saw your daughter and I thought she looked really cute. Get out of my house! No, Abba, he's my friend. Do you know how many of these stories happen every single day? 80%. of the Jews in America are intermarrying. That's how the story starts. One leniency, eventually everything's gone. Intermarriage is not an accident. It's a systematic attack by the Yetzer Hara himself to make you make the small mistakes. Why? So eventually he could destroy the whole thing. And when a person says, no, no, come on, this rabbi, you know, he's kind of entertaining, but it's not going to happen to me. Shalom yihyeh li, the pasuk says, peace will be upon me. HaKadosh Baruch Hu Himself says, anyone that says Shalom yihyeh li, I'm not going to fall, davka would fall. And I will not forgive him, He says. Pasuk in the Torah.

9:03You have such confidence that you can beat the Yetzer Hara when I told you, don't mess with him. It's not going to happen to you. Tafkid's going to happen to you. And I'm not going to forgive you. Why? Because you had an attitude of arrogance. You didn't want to accept Daas Torah. You didn't want to accept the warning from heaven. You wanted to have your own system. Their blood is on their hands. And that's what happens on a daily basis. And you see it. You tell people, don't send their kids to a mixed school. Boys and girls are studying in the same school. They're already 7, 8, 9, 10, 11 years old. It's not a good school for Jews. It should be boys in one school, girls in a different school. No, rabbi, no, the rabbi is there. Nothing's happening. One day the boy comes home, 13 years old. Ima, I got to tell you something. Ma? Ma? You got good grades? No, no, no. It's not about my grades. What do you want, honey? What's the matter? You know that girl I told you about, the rabbi's daughter, you know? Yeah. How about if she was like, you know, like she brought you a grandkid? What do you think about that, Ima? What? Is this a joke? April Fools? What is this? Where did you learn this? You go to yeshiva? No, it's a Jewish school, Ima. It's not exactly yeshiva. What?

10:29What do you know about kids? You're still a kid yourself. Yeah, I know, Ima, that's what I'm asking you. What do you think about that? I don't think about it. It's a nightmare. Why would I want to think about it? Well, Ima, hopefully you could change your mind. She's here and we have something to tell you. Every day this happens. Every day. These are the stories we deal with on a daily basis, and every single one of them is not an accident. The Yetzer Hara has been working on it for a while. He invested in that person for 20 years before he broke him completely. One little leniency, one little party, one little cigarette, one little drive to the wrong place, one little friend that they shouldn't have had, one relationship, one anything. One thing. That's all the yetzer hara wants. One. Once he's got that one, it's like having, you know, a bug in somebody's room. You only have to plant it once; you can hear everything they're going to say forever. That's how it works. That's how the yetzer hara works. And the Chatam Sofer says,

11:44The biggest excuse that people have is that it's not going to happen to me. Why do they have such an excuse? Because they say, listen, I haven't done it yet. Look at everybody else. I'm much more religious than everybody else I know. This guy, he's not even going to keep Shabbat. That girl, she doesn't even know that she's supposed to wear clothes. This guy doesn't even know what's kosher. That guy is this. This guy is that. What does he do? He compares. She compares herself to everybody else. That's what the Satan is telling them to do. Today you're better than everybody else. Why are you so worried? Today you're the most religious guy in school. Why are you so worried? Look, the rest of the class doesn't even know Alef-Bet. You already know how to spell. The rest of the class doesn't keep Shabbat. You already know Halachot Shabbat. The rest of the class is doing all types of things not allowed. You tzaddik. So you can go hang out with them. You'll do kiruv. You'll do kiruv at the party. You'll do kiruv at the club. Satan plants one seed. You let him in, finished. Why? Satan says, I got you. And I'll come back whenever I want. That doesn't mean a person is guaranteed to lose. But it means that for sure, they're going to have a test of a lifetime that they don't want.

13:09Had they protected themselves from the small ones, they would have actually been able to be strong enough for the big ones. And Chatam Sofer says, it's known that people want you to do things because they say, listen, why is it that every time I ask you, you want to do this, you want to do that, you say, no, not allowed, not allowed. No, come on, let's have some unity. Why so much machloket, Rabbi? Why so much machloket? Every time, no, no, no, everything not allowed, you know, mot yumat, death penalty, mechalel Shabbat. No, just accept everyone as they are. No, Rabbi, be a little bit, no, come on, keep up to date. Chatam Sofer says, we all know that shalom desired by a non-kosher people is the beginning of the worst machloket. Because a person is telling you, make a leniency for shalom. Make a leniency to make shalom, but this is not a kosher leniency.

14:21yeah, but you're going to make this leniency because you're going to avoid machloket. The leniency that you're going to make in order to make shalom is exactly what's going to make machloket. That's exactly what's going to cause the problems. You're making that leniency because the second you did it, the whole Torah went into the garbage. But they're going to tell you, "No, come on, be more liberal. Why so this, why so that when it comes to Torah?" There is no such thing. There is no such thing as using your own opinion. You just simply use what Hashem says, what His Chachamim said, and nothing else. And the Chesed Le'Avraham, Rabbi Avraham Azulai, he says, people who don't make themselves holy by forbidding themselves the permissible, will ultimately turn the permissible into a korban for the satan. So much so that a person who does not pay attention to the minor details of even things that are allowed to do today, eventually he's going to turn everything as simply as a korban to the Satan. He's going to be a full-time, she's going to be a full-time employee of the Satan. And that's unfortunately what happens every single day with religious people, non-religious people, all types of people. And they don't even know what happened. "How did I get so far until it's so late, it's almost unrecoverable?"

15:47So, this is one of the things that a person needs to pay attention to and not always necessarily look for things to make sense or not always necessarily agree with everything that the rabbi says. It's okay, lady. It's okay if you don't understand what the rabbi said. It's okay. It's okay if you don't think that the dress is good, but you know it's kosher. It's okay. Just do what it says. Why? You're going to win in the end. If you're going to look to be right all the time, you've already lost.